if a guy claims he doesnt want a relationship.. will he pass up miss right if she comes along? chat & forums.

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whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

if a guy claims he doesnt want a relationship.. will he pass up miss right if she comes along? Posted: 11/22/2009 3:13:29 AM
I think he is a bit of a jerk to pursue you like you described and then to say that. You should let him know that since he does not want a relationship with you that you will be dating others, not sleeping with him, and most likely be unavailoable most of the time for him. Not so much to manipulate him but because you area quality woman and will only see a man long term who is taking you seriously. He sounds cold blooded so you becold blooded and much loess available, especially sexually. It's in the same league as a guy saying "I don't know what I want". It means they don't want a relationship with you so date and develop interests in some other guys even if it means you stop seeing him for a few months at least.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

love to nothing? Posted: 11/21/2009 10:27:53 AM
If he has a profile on a dating site most likely he is also meeting women. So many men do this. They do it when they have a new girlfriend, an old girlfriend, or even a wife. It's an irresistible thing for lots of men to have thousands of women on display ready to meet them, fall in love with them and even have sex with them. There might be someone sexier, better looking, richer, whatever, who will make them forget their current woman. And after that, there might be someone even better than that one... and on and on. These are the guys to weed out, the ones that never get off the dating sites. They are the liers and cheaters.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Painfull lonelyness Posted: 11/21/2009 10:12:24 AM
and it wasnt untill I had sex for the first time that I soon got addicted to that ... but dont get me wrong i dont go sleeping with random man. Define "random". And if you did, I won't judge you for it.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

what right do they have?!? Posted: 11/21/2009 10:05:42 AM
The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution protects a right to keep and bear arms. These are the freedoms our forefathers thought most important: 1. Freedom of speech 2. Right to bear arms The King of England could no longer tell them what they could and couldn't talk about or send soldiers into their homes. Anyone can legally call anyone ugly. Anyone who isn't a felon can own a gun.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Looking for Andrew Posted: 11/21/2009 7:38:40 AM
I have a guy like this too. Jerry Phillips who was in law school in Washington D.C. in 1969. He lived near the zoo and took me in one drunken night and was a perfect gentleman. The best guy ever and the handsomest. I tried to find him but no luck. Forty years later, he stands out as one of the best men I've ever met. Maybe it's best to just accept that it's a happy memory and leave it at that.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Realizing ALOT! Posted: 11/21/2009 7:13:32 AM
I expect that a lot of guys will show an interest in me and I reject just about all of them lol.... I have a lot of self confidence from knowing I have a great education and two degrees. I also know I am smart and loving and kind hearted. I still get hurt even at 56. I can love someone who in some ways isn't as good as me who hurts me and it devastates me and my self esteem and makes me feel totally undesirable. And I still have guys who want me and give me compliments and wonder why the one person I really care about is now not making me feel good and instead is making me feel terrible. It makes no sense to me and I have no idea why I let it affect me so negatively.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Post-rejection friendship Posted: 11/20/2009 6:25:09 PM
I have been close friends for years with men only to have them disappear for good when they fall in love with a woman long term. I now know that a man will not really be my "friend" if there is a love interest in his life. I suppose the same could be said for me, that I will not have time for male friends if I spend all my time with a boyfriend.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

why do people feel like they need someone in their life . Posted: 11/20/2009 9:29:57 AM
It isn't want, it's need. People are social creatures. Imagine a wolf who is not a member of a pack and does not have a mate. He is one sad lonely wolf and does not do well in general. Nature intended for humans to pair off. It helps mentally and physically and actually prolongs life and leads to greater happiness in general.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Finding Out How Interested He Is...And Why Posted: 11/20/2009 9:24:41 AM
It's the "Cosmopolitan" marketing theory. Women like to read about men and how to get them to love them the way they want. There is widespread angst among women about how to get men to want them and love them. Women eat this garbage up. I wish all women would put half as much thought into how to become succesful in life without any man. Imagine all that energy going into a woman improving her education and career. Cosmopolitan magazine is all about how to get a man, how to keep a man, and how to drive a man crazy in bed. Their advertising revenue and success as a magazine is geared to this kind of useless obsessing in women.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Men and self esteem Posted: 11/20/2009 9:15:04 AM
The problem that many young men and boys have is no positive role models for how a successful man behaves. So many boys grow up without fathers around or with fathers who model negative behavior. These young men then believe that to be a man means to debase and use women. Their only idea of what it means to be a man comes from very negative role models who abandon their wives and kids, cheat, lie and hurt others, and act in selfish self centered dishonest ways toward their loved ones. It is a different scenario than it is for girls, who are taught by society that their only value is in their looks and sex appeal. To be a girl means to be sexy and beautiful to men. To be a boy means to cheat lie abandon and be indifferent to the pain you cause your family members and women. We live in a very sick society. If I had young kids I would look around for an environment possibly in a different country where they could learn to be more well rounded healthy human beings.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/20/2009 9:07:00 AM
I don't do the phoning and chasing, ever. Once or twice a month I might be the first to call, text or IM. It leaves no doubt between us this way that if there is contact, it is him who wants it. Men will call every day and want to see you a lot if they are interested in you. I just don't have the time or interest to be the one trying to maintain a relationship with a man who is acting like he isn't interested in me. I know my value and what I have to offer and if any man can't see it there are plenty of others who do. It sounds like the OP is the one who does all the calling and shows all the interest. Then she is upset with the man for not showing interest back. Let him go find someone that he wants to call.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Depression Posted: 11/20/2009 6:27:53 AM
There could be other reasons than depression for losing contact with her friends. You were her boyfriend. Did you ever have the feeling that she might have a problem with depression? I think since she broke up with you that you need to move on. It is no longer your business what she does. It's nice that you care about her but don't contact her over the issue of her not being in contact with her friends and wanting to help. She ended it so all you can do is cut contact from her completely, for her sake and yours.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

She doesn't know about his other dating profile Posted: 11/20/2009 12:00:09 AM
It's tempting to want to inform the new girlfriend about his profiles on dating sites. She can't really argue with the facts. The response would be that he would do things to hide his profiles better and would continue to lie to her and she would choose to believe the lies. At least until she finds out for herself what he is really like. Hopefully he is with someone who is just as dishonest and cheating as he is so that he can get a dose of his own medicine. These men do not change no matter who they are with. The only difference is that some women remain in the dark about what they are doing and some learn the truth. They like to have a girlfriend that they can cheat on. Aside from it being inherent in their nature to be dishonest, it also adds to the excitement to lie about what they are doing to the girlfriend when they go out to meet new women. If they find a new woman who is sexier to them then they can stop the relationship with the first woman or better yet have two relationships going on at once.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Whats up with that? Posted: 11/19/2009 11:09:24 PM
Why not tell her in a phone call exactly what you told us and see what she says? Ask her why she is doing it, not us.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

How would I approach? Posted: 11/19/2009 11:05:02 PM
I wouldn't bother a woman while she is working. Also, she might get hit on a lot being in a public job. I think it's a mistake to take her smile for interest and also I think that while a woman is doing her job she should not be subjected to romantic approaches.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

is my situation a turn off??? Posted: 11/19/2009 10:19:10 PM
I wouldn't talk about it at all if possible other than to mention you are new to the area. I wouldn't mention you are trying to meet people or make it sound like you are running around trying to make friends. It sounds like you are putting her into the catagory of one of the new friends you are trying to meet. It's just not appealing or flattering if a woman gets a sense that you are trying to build up a social life and she is one of many. Also as women we instinctively like men who are solid and established usually and a newcomer just doesn't sound very interesting. It sounds like work rather than fun.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Why would a man tell his friends all he did sexually with his new girlfriend? Posted: 11/19/2009 9:59:29 PM
A friend has a new girlfriend and is telling all his friends and hers the details of all they are doing sexually, including things like his tongue is sore. Yes, he is even telling his new girlfriend's female friends what they do sexually in detail. This is the first time I've encountered this and it puzzles me. This is not someone who usually shares a lot about his personal life with anyone. No, I am not the girlfriend.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Reasons for not chatting with someone anymore Posted: 11/19/2009 9:43:04 PM
when should they know when the comfort level has been reached? I don't understand why you need to know when the comfort level has been reached. Is this something you want to know so you can talk about sex? There aren't rules for knowing when the comfort level has been reached. There can be a level of comfort where you can joke around with each other but she still won't appreciate you talking about sex. There can be a level of comfort where you feel like you know each other but she still might not like you enough to want to meet you. There can be a level of comfort where you chat about personal feelings but she still won't want to see you naked on cam. I advise you not to engage in any of these things at all with a woman you have never met. There are sites for this type of thing but a woman on a dating site most likely won't appreciate this type of comfort level with you since it's not what she's looking for. Try to meet a woman rather than planning to engage in extensive chatting without meeting. After that you can reach a comfort level with her as you get to know her in person. She could have stopped chatting with you because she was bored with it, or met someone to have a real relationship with, or you brought up sex and she wasn't into talking about it with you.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 331 (view)

why are hot guys so mean ???? Posted: 11/19/2009 5:58:11 PM
He's probably another guy acting like a jerk thinking women like that.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Broke my rules... and got hurt because of it. Posted: 11/19/2009 5:53:33 PM
In each of your three dates with this guy you went to each other's house. I wouldn't do that on a first date. I also wouldn't call him to make any kind of arrangements. I would let him do it all. That way it is all on him and it is clear to me that he is not just seeing me because I am making it overly convenient for him. I think you offered yourself to him eagerly and he took what you gave. Nothing more.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

honest answer... Posted: 11/19/2009 12:19:13 PM
So what is the problem if you are happy? As for me I would want a committed loving relationship. But I am not you.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Confused by my hormones - having sex with boyfriend for first time Posted: 11/19/2009 12:17:29 PM
Just do it. What is the problem? Go for it.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Why can't I just move on? Posted: 11/19/2009 12:15:26 PM
How you move on is to stop talking to him completely. It will always hurt and you will stay stuck on him unless you stop talking to him totally.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Love and being in love Posted: 11/19/2009 12:13:01 PM
She is saying that she likes you but you are not the one she wants to settle down with. Keep looking, since she is still looking. That "love you with all my heart" is just sweet sounding nothing. It means zero. She thinks she is being sweet and keeping you happy while she looks for someone better.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

What's your take on agressive ladies? Posted: 11/18/2009 4:12:56 PM
When I have made the first move the guy doesn't seem as into me as I am to him. And yet he will go along with the program for a time. I like it better when the man approaches me first. It has never occured to me that anyone think of me as "easy or bad". I really don't care what they think and if they are that judgmental then we won't be a match anyway.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Hooked on having a FWB? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:45:05 PM
Some men want a FWB and some men want a serious relationship. If any woman does a FWB she is an idiot. Once in a while I can understand. But to be doing that regularly as a free prostitute? She would have to be mentally challenged to be doing that. I can't imagine saying to some guy "you can use my body for your sexual needs whenever you want because we are friends". It sounds so sad and degrading for the woman. Why wouldn't she just find a boyfriend, and have the benefits of a man caring and sharing and giving her affection and exclusivity?

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

A little confused over this... Posted: 11/18/2009 3:39:16 PM
There are plenty of wierdos on POF. No one here knows why she did that. Just chalk it up to another strange character from a free dating site. I don't understand why people are so surprised by anything anyone does here. It took me about a week to see that there are lots of very strange and disappointing people here. I've been stood up many times and I am not surprised any more when that happens. Lots of anonymous morons playing sick games on here.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome? Posted: 11/18/2009 2:52:34 PM
It's a perfectly good word to describe a woman and about 50 or more years ago was used a lot to describe women who were attractive in a strong way. I would love to be called handsome. But I am not the "handsome" type of woman. Also a good word to describe this type of strong looking woman who is not traditionally pretty is "striking".

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/18/2009 2:50:23 PM
You are not in a relationship with him so breaking up is hardly what you need to do. If you eliminate seeing him on weekends thats all you have to do. At least he is leaving you plenty of time to find his replacement so get out there and find him. I wouldn't keep seeing a guy like you are describing, at all. If you are scared to speak around him because he might give you the silent treatment then you are being emotionally abused. No if's and's or but's about it. Find a new man. You are very attractive and don't need that kind of emotional abuse.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 1444 (view)

What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart?? Posted: 11/18/2009 2:44:19 PM
We have an indoor target shooting range nearby and it has become the place where people go to commit suicide. What we are talking about is severe depression, a mental illness. No one who commits suicide is mentally stable unless they are doing it because they have a terminal illness and are in pain all the time.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 329 (view)

why are hot guys so mean ???? Posted: 11/18/2009 2:40:05 PM
Never mean even to a fatty? You must be Mother Theresa!

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Love is a Crumbag Posted: 11/18/2009 2:37:10 PM
just because you fight with someone almost every day doesn't mean it cannot work out. And girls.... it's not always about you. I think I found your problem. You cannot fight every day with a girl and expect her to stick around!!!! I bet you want to argue with me about that right now most likely. I think you are trying to impose yourself and your will on girls and then get mad when they leave. Stop fighting and arguing with them. Let them have their way. They are leaving because they find out you are a bully most likely.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Why do men seem distant? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:58:20 AM
I think that they lie a lot. When they tell you how they feel about you they are lying. They lie to see where it gets them or because it sounds good at the time.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

What does he mean? Does it even mean anything at all? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:54:41 AM
I think he is seriously interested in you. I don't understand why you two don't start being real life bf and gf. Why don't you discuss that with him?

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Female Tool of the Trade Posted: 11/18/2009 3:35:09 AM
I like dinner and wine and candles and conversation as aphrodesiacs. An electronic buzz isn't quite the same somehow.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

A Hypothetical Situation Posted: 11/17/2009 7:35:49 PM
No he wouldn't have any regrets. He wasn't in love with her obviously. He has moved on and has a new romantic interest. He just told her he loves her daily to keep her quiet and happy, like lots of men. Read the book 101 Lies Men Tell Women. It explains why they do this. I highly recommend it.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

The lonliness I have created... Posted: 11/17/2009 7:33:47 PM
Society has created almost a monster of what is need in a woman for a man to be satisfied. I think this is very true. The extremes of things women do to themselves proves it.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Complicated Girl Question Posted: 11/17/2009 7:18:33 PM
I don't like getting texts and don't like feeling obligated to reply to them. Maybe she just doesn't like getting texts. Stop sending them and just talk to her on the phone or with IM's.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Is being yourself really good advice? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:11:07 PM
Sociopaths wear masks that are not detectible until you see how they behave over a period of time. It can be very confusing. I notice that the things they are doing are at odds with the charming nice guy they always act like they are. Some people must put on a false front if they are to interact with others at all.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

MY EX SET ME UP Posted: 11/17/2009 4:40:30 PM
The original story is wierd. No one is going to get arrested for child abuse unless the cops do an investigation first. An 18,000 square foot house? Cops beating up such a rich man in the parking lot? My BS meter is going off. Sounds like a good excuse to videotape women having sex with you.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 324 (view)

why are hot guys so mean ???? Posted: 11/17/2009 4:30:18 PM
^^^^^ batman I think you got the answer! A guy can be too mean to be considered hot...or too creepy.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Just venting Posted: 11/17/2009 4:19:32 PM
Nothing wrong with having cats! I know some happily married ladies who have lots of cats. Cats are wonderful and certainly have some incredible qualities I do wish I had found in the men I have known. They don't give me any problems whatsoever. They only break my heart when they have to leave this world.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 321 (view)

why are hot guys so mean ???? Posted: 11/17/2009 11:10:50 AM
I have known lots of hot guys who were actually very nice and pleasant. I can only think of one who was well known as mean. I have seen hot guys who were not mean as much as just total douche bags. Lots of those types around unfortunately. It stems from being a couple of pliers short of a toolbox.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

when i say I love you I mean it .some people just say it Posted: 11/17/2009 10:59:17 AM
Lots of men (can't speak about women since I don't know) lie and say they love you because it improves your devotion to them and also increases the excitement during sex. I couldn't spend eight months with an alcoholic, not even eight days. Why cry over him when you know you didn't even want him?

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

I need opinion on what is important in relationships? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:51:56 AM
Mutual sexual attraction Affection Reliability No sneaking around behind the other's back No lies

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 621 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 11/17/2009 9:50:22 AM
I do not like it if a man is looking intently at another woman while we are together. It makes me feel uncomfortible and takes away from the quality of our time together. I'm not insecure or jealous. I am just giving him my total attention and appreciate the same. When I'm with someone I'm with just them.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 181 (view)

seeing guy for 2 months and he still on pof Posted: 11/17/2009 9:46:50 AM
Yet another man who is "in a relationship" but keeps on looking for a woman he likes better. The number of these creeps online is legion. I've decided that if I meet a man online he will never be mine, he will always be looking. At least if he is American. Not so sure about the Canadians, English and Australians. Women in other countries have very low opinions about American men. Not every guy of course, this is a generalization and there are sure to be exceptions.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Is This a Good Reason For a Husband to Leave? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:25:48 AM
The son is just an excuse for wanting to leave in my opinion. When men want to leave they give an excuse or start arguments or problems to blame it on. I'm sorry for what you are going through with this.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

No-one likes him except me Posted: 11/17/2009 7:45:45 AM
He sounds like a bum to me but if you love him and let your walls down then that's the main thing. Four months isn't long enough to really know someone. Look for signs that he is trying to get a job and be productive. You do know that there are men who sponge off women and take advantage of them right? If you are giving him financial support then he is definitely not someone you should continue to see. I couldn't ever take any man seriously if he was not employed personally.

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

When is the time right? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:40:24 AM
Read the book "101 lies Men Tell Women". If you arm yourself with the information in that you will be better prepared for whatever might come up. I won't be letting my guard down ever again most likely. At some point we just cannot help but become aware of what the true nature of male/female relationships are like. I no longer expect much if anything.

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