why a meal on the first date? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: why a meal on the first date?

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

why a meal on the first date? Posted: 6/19/2009 8:22:06 PM
P.S. I have an @sshole, but I am not one. Thank you.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

why a meal on the first date? Posted: 6/19/2009 8:21:23 PM
I think people are inclined to view eating as a social activity. I also think that there are people who are disinclined to drink alcohol on an empty stomach. So, if you don't want to buy the lady dinner, then it sounds like meeting for coffee or going dutch is a more appropriate choice. I think that I would go out with a man who said, "I want to meet you, but I think we should have separate checks." I do it all of the time...with my co-workers. If you seriously resent buying a lady dinner...don't do it. And, I think that it is possible to be nice about it.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

women only please Posted: 6/10/2009 8:26:40 AM
Most likely after. I spent a lot of time getting ready and I don't want to get messed up. Actually, the highest probability is that I'll be tired and he'll have to just relax and cuddle up until morning. If he's in the bed in the morning...he better look out!

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Sexual application form... Posted: 6/10/2009 8:18:49 AM
I think that ALL of the men would say that they are exceptionally fabulous lovers r some variation... Question 36: Are you a. a fabulous exceptional lover b. a rockin' stud muffin who can all night long c. a walkin' talkin' dream lover wearing irish spring and nothing else d. a bear rug that cushions and pleasures the body like a secret wet dream Oh...do go on!

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Are you a Serious Member? Posted: 6/10/2009 8:08:53 AM
I read your profile, always loveable...you look very pretty with the dark hair. :)

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Not All BJ's Are Good Posted: 6/6/2009 7:04:05 PM
I've given a couple of bad ones in my lifetime. I think it's a matter of percentages... Sometimes, it's just not your day...you're outta' sync...in the wrong mindframe. Rhythms wrong...whatever. It happens. If you're a frequent flyer...or not...it happens.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Plastic surgery turn off or don't care? Posted: 6/6/2009 6:57:38 PM
Okay....but, I gotta' talk about the self-esteem thing. There are some people in this world who are not ordinary looking. It is possible to be self-conscious about something because it isn't "normal." Having walked around looking unusual, I can tell you about looking unusual. It is very easy to say that it is a self-esteem issue and that plastic surgery won't fix it...but, the reality is that for some people, fixing it on the outside helps you feel less conspicuous. After bi-lateral mastectomies, I walked around perfectly flat in my bald head. It is not my imagination that people stared. People did stare. I felt like I should charge them a quarter...like I had joined the circus. It takes guts, people...and it can be a soul-sucking thing...walking around with a big nose (or whatever the problem is.) While I waited for my body to heal, I developed a genuine sympathy for people who had surgery for (technically) cosmetic reasons. Good plastic surgery is designed to make people look more balanced and perhaps more attractive. There are extremes in all things. If I had knocked a tooth out...I would fix it. And, I agree. I could get through life perfectly well missing one tooth. However, if there is a practical alternative, why would I?

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 152 (view)

is it easier for a homely woman to get laid? Posted: 5/20/2009 5:07:52 PM
I doubt it. Speculatively, no.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 176 (view)

Sexy Lingerie; Intimate Apparel.... Do Men Expect It? Does It Really Matter? Posted: 5/9/2009 3:10:20 PM
I like it when a man notices. Looking good takes work / effort. It is nice to be appreciated.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 175 (view)

Sexy Lingerie; Intimate Apparel.... Do Men Expect It? Does It Really Matter? Posted: 5/9/2009 3:08:05 PM
lagniappe = French. A little something extra.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Have You Ever Imagined being the Opposite Gender during Sex? Posted: 5/9/2009 2:58:05 PM
No, not DURING sex. But, I have imagined how cool it would be to be a man, on occasion. All that POWER!!! When you orgasm, you have all of that thrust and power. It's WAY COOL!

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 335 (view)

How many messages a day do u get on average? Posted: 5/9/2009 2:50:01 PM
I get four kinds of messages: 1: From forum posters. There are some really cool people on this site. 2: From literate people ...indirectly asking for sex. 3: From illiterate and/or immature people...directly asking for sex. "U r so cute. Wuld u like to - - - - ?" and/or "I am 18 years old and people think my genitals are sublime. Want to see my winky? "12 hours, hold the viagra. Look ma, no hands." 4: From people who are "just browsing." "I have an irish setter, do you?" I send three kinds of messages: 1: To forum posters. There are some really cool people on this site. 2: To men whose profiles seem to be a match. 3: "Just browsing." "Welcome to Podunk, MS."

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

4 dates and they all used someone elses pictures Posted: 5/8/2009 6:59:03 PM
Do you say "meow" or "bow wow?"

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 138 (view)

Why do women moan more than men during sex? Posted: 5/8/2009 6:49:12 PM
I don't think that there are too many man moaners out there. Heavy breathers, yes. Moaners? Hmmm. "Hmmmmmm," she said.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 136 (view)

Why do women moan more than men during sex? Posted: 5/8/2009 6:33:53 PM
I think that women are more vocal...we have to let the man know when he's doing it right. And, also, I think it's an emotional release sort of thing.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

4 dates and they all used someone elses pictures Posted: 5/8/2009 6:27:04 PM
I sometimes think that I would get more traffic if I posted a picture of Cheryl Tiegs, etc. I suppose that somebody went through with the idea...

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

letting a man wait for sex Posted: 5/8/2009 6:57:49 AM
"Appropriately rewarded." Men will WOO a woman he can't have...and ignore the one he can. I know it's immature and selfish and silly. But, the men who are "left over" (not married) are inclined to this behavior...and maybe the rest of them, too. If a quick lay is what I want...yes, I can have that. I don't want to break even. If you have sex too soon...well, when they're tired of the sex, they're gone. #1 = have sex. Well, the man thinks that this contact is for sex and sex alone. #1 = have relationship. Well, the man thinks that this is a RELATIONSHIP in which I have sex So, yes. This woman withholds early sex because I have discovered that men don't handle it very well. If you would act better, you'd get more. What ever happened to good manners?

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

letting a man wait for sex Posted: 5/7/2009 6:40:38 PM
"lightening51, you seem like a nice young woman and I'd like to respond: You mention: "It seems that (stereotypically) men want sex; the problem is, that when they get it immediately (don't have to "work" for it), they don't value it." As I've said before, if what you are saying that men want sex, I have still yet to hear what a woman wants. I mean, really. Why do women go on dates with men? Again, please don't misconstrue what I am saying as I am not advocating having sex on the first date(s), but at some point doesn't a woman want to feel that special touch from a man? You also say "don't have to work for it", what is the "it" you are taking about and what is the "it" that we men won't value. I hate to tell you, but with that attitude, which I might add a lot of American women seem to have, you just may end up doing a lot of masturbating before and after dates and most of the times in between. If you like a guy, and he likes you, and you enjoy each other's company and the relationship is taking a natural progression, then I don't see what benefit a woman gets by denying the man. Sex is a gift to be enjoyed. JHMO " (Goodman) Thank you, dear. Whatever would I want a man for...if not for sex? The problem seems to be that men have little use for women who are not difficult. Most perplexing. The reward for withholding is a second date. The reward for having sex is ? Straight to voicemail. Maybe there are women out there who are being appropriately rewarded for initiating sex; but, I don't know them. I've tried "strategy A"...and I know those rewards. This is worse than cold sales calls. Sex is much better with a man who knows my wants and warrants. That means that repetition is essential for improved performance. What I personally want from a man is: A. a respectable escort. Socially, life is smoother when there is a man on your arm. and B. sex; good sex; routine, regular sex. My findings indicate that if I go for B, I will not get A or B. Explain that.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

letting a man wait for sex Posted: 5/7/2009 9:21:23 AM
"Masturbate before and after seeing him. Thats what men who dont get sex on the first date do ~Beth~"

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

letting a man wait for sex Posted: 5/7/2009 9:19:50 AM
Seems to be advisable. (Let him wait.) Unless, of course, you want it just the one time. It seems that (stereotypically) men want sex; the problem is, that when they get it immediately (don't have to "work" for it), they don't value it. Immediate gratification = "NEXT." It is one of the great ironies of life that men are looking for a woman who resists f-ing them. Beats me...but it is what it is.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Vibrators Posted: 5/6/2009 3:14:59 PM
Hitachi Magic Wand...with attachments. Hands down. However, some of my girlfriends say that there is such thing as too much power.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Nude pics! Posted: 5/6/2009 3:12:04 PM
Nope. The problem is that relationships change. And, I have seen men pass around pictures of their semi-naked wives. It's a mistake.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

How do you stimulate the clitoris? Posted: 5/6/2009 2:51:33 PM
Vibrators are reasonably effective.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Handjobs Posted: 5/1/2009 6:31:22 AM
There is nothing like a man who knows how to give one, either. Some men are very good with their hands. A worthy endeavor.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Is it weird for straight girls to like female strip clubs Posted: 4/29/2009 4:35:07 PM
When we go outta' town, the men go to the clubs and I go with them. No biggie. And, yes YES, the clubs that cater to women are very wild and completely unsupervised. In the clubs where the women dance, usually (never?) you are not allowed to touch the women. In the clubs where the men dance...well, let's just say all bets are off.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 104 (view)

If they call us women Cougars, what do they call the Men? Posted: 4/25/2009 4:37:34 PM
I call'em "sharks."

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 196 (view)

Why does carrying protection on my person at all times make me a whore?! Posted: 4/23/2009 6:22:02 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Men do it. (The "ole condom in the wallet " is legendary.)

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Discouraged Posted: 4/21/2009 8:04:23 PM
The divine rod...oh, ZenBeth, you are a naughty girl! (giggles with delight)

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Breast Size [Do guys ever notice the difference?] Posted: 4/21/2009 7:58:24 PM
Well, I've been to one of the best plastic surgeons in the country. My breasts are not the ones that I was born with. They have been microsurgically reconstructed. The "absolute standard" in the world of reconstruction (in terms of probabilities and outcomes) is that you can expect your breasts to be "sisters," not "twins." And, actually, that is also true of your eyebrows. You can expect your eyebrows to be "sisters, not twins." If you try to "twin" them, you will pluck yourself to death. Most women with natural breasts...they are "sisters," not "twins." That is the way of the world...natural or not.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

If she has the condoms is that a good thing? Posted: 4/21/2009 7:48:01 PM
I think it's a good thing. I keep a box in my cupboard...hafta' keep an eye on the dates though. ('bout choked myself last time I knocked the dust off the box to check 'em )

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Manners on a first date Posted: 4/19/2009 4:29:46 PM
I'm a hugger. However, I confess that I feel much more comfortable with a (new) man touching me if I have initiated it. Probably, it's a control issue. As an interesting cultural anomaly, in strip clubs, it is against the rules /not okay to touch the female strippers; however, in clubs where the males strip, it is very okay for the female clients to touch the males.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Discouraged Posted: 4/19/2009 3:55:15 PM
I read your profile. All we know is that you are Baptist and you are a project analyst with brown hair. (I don't know what a project analyst is.) There is a peculiarity in that you have children, but you don't want children. I think a nice comment about that..."I have 3 beautiful children...14, 16, and 21, etc." Whether it's okay if HE has his own children. I think it means that, like me, you are pretty much past your childbearing years. Talk about something you like. If you like pizza, say so. When my profile said I like pizza, I got traffic from guys who like pizza. (Go figure.) If you were an international skating champion in high school...put it on there. I am not a Barbie doll, either. But, I do get traffic...and so can you. Your profile says you went back to school...why? Statements about your desire to improve your life could be very appealing. Try to post some more pictures...where you look happy. If you have a dog, put that in there....guys like dogs.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Discouraged Posted: 4/19/2009 3:38:21 PM
Yup. Yup. and Yup. I've been watching the Millionaire Matchmaker lately...men "vote" with their picker...so Patty says. The forums are very helpful in this regard. The male fishies are full of advice, including the little tidbit that I SHOULD dress to reveal my rather curvy tushy. Yesterday, I was going to the garden center to buy a rose. So, I put on my rather bodalicious new jeans and my wedge sandals with my pushup bra. (Now who does that in this day and age? Hot old broads like me...that's who! ) My stretchy grey crop pants and my hoodie are feeling depressed in the corner. I was openly admired by two husky young employees who agreed that the rose went with my bright yellow cropped sweater. Encouragement! :) I love encouragement. We, my friend, have reached that certain age where our upper arms are not our best feature. A pretty smile goes a long way.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

Men receiving oral Posted: 4/19/2009 9:53:27 AM
I had no idea that this is such a big deal. If it's there, I swallow...unless it's something particularly overwhelming. And, I agree with ZenBeth's idea about a warm wash cloth. You may find sperm all over my face "exciting"...I don't. And, that is particularly odd given the information I read on POF/"fact" that men don't want to kiss a woman who has had a penis in her mouth. You want me to be warm and loving toward your penis, but you find it disgusting. This is a strange world we're living in...I'm just saying.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

The European Idea of Sex vs The American Idea Posted: 4/19/2009 8:55:52 AM
Well, I'm not a man. And, I have no idea what other European woman, or other American women (for that matter), are thinking. People controlling other people with or for sex (or anything else...finances, etc.) doesn't sound very appealing to me. Now, I will admit to seduction. I think that I believe that a man who is comfortable and well-fed is more inclined to be hospitable. If you believe that American women are manipulative witches, then you would see that plate of freshly baked ginger bread men as a "tool." Men who treat me nicely are more likely to get cookies. When I am relaxed and happy, you are much more likely to enjoy the pleasures of the house. If that makes me uptight and manipulative, I guess I can live with the label. And, yes...I feel oddly defensive.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

the cup Posted: 4/17/2009 5:13:10 PM
Diaphrams work very well...no fuss, no muss. I'm not familiar with the cup, but I would think that it would be about the same.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Leaving panties (and T's) Posted: 4/17/2009 5:06:35 PM
Nope. I wear expensive underpants, also.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Disussing Sexual Compatibility Posted: 4/17/2009 4:57:24 PM
Talk is cheap. To the best of my knowledge, the ultimate way to find out if you're sexually compatible is to try it. Dancing and other forms of physical contact can provide important clues...but, they are not definitive. It helps to have a certain level of intimacy before attempting intercourse. (Women, in general, don't seem to be into the quick 1,2.) To me, sexual compatability is a separate issue from negotiating boundaries. Some men are really good at stimulation and gratification. (Go to the head of the class.) On boundary issues, my personal recommendation is that the questions be asked in the "heat of the moment" (would you like me to do x?) or as ZenBeth says...in casual conversation...with the caveat that STD protection and like matters be discussed before anybody considers sex.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

who takes the first step? Posted: 4/13/2009 7:04:29 PM
I talk to all sorts of people all of the time...well, most of the time. Most of the time, it's because I e-mail THEM. Some of the time, it's because they e-mail me. I think that people fear rejection and they are unwilling to take a chance. It's an anonymous e-mail. Much like a cold sales call. Speculatively, many many first e-mails are rejected...regardless of who initiates. The extroverts are gonna' have to carry the ball on this one.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Are You Just As Foolish As Ever? Posted: 4/13/2009 6:40:58 PM
Yes. I think I am just as foolish as ever. People, in general, expect other people to feel what they feel. The craps is that they don't. I suspect that for you, sex signaled a deepening of the relationship. It is possible that for him, that was not what he was looking for. So, the "perfect gentleman" rolled off in a gentlemanly way and hit the bricks. Very disappointing. And, it stinks. Try, try again...I have to believe that there are people out there who can be in sync with you.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Should an apology be expected? Posted: 4/13/2009 6:09:29 PM
I think that men are disinclined to apologize...they think it's a sign of weakness. You "tested"...he failed.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 66 (view)

Amzaing Blow Jobs ¿? (Felacio) Posted: 4/10/2009 3:25:36 PM
I don't like pushy men. I can, will, and do...but, I don't like men who try to force it or who insist.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

lingerie Posted: 4/5/2009 4:07:53 PM
Great story, Miss Beth...you're probably not the only one that's ever happened to. One of my girlfriends, too. She opened the door to one of her husband's co-workers. Fortunately, he was obedient...or at least appeared to be...obeyed the sexy command..."close your eyes." HA!

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

HOw many messages are girls getting? Posted: 4/1/2009 7:34:02 PM
Cowboy is right. If I was holding my breath, waiting for messages, rigor would have set in by now.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Curvy butts.... Posted: 3/28/2009 9:32:00 PM
Do you think it's tacky? I have a prominent rear. For 44 years, I have dressed to disguise / cover it up. Do you think it's inappropriate for me to wear tight jeans? Sort of like too much cleavage...when is it too much? I have a new co-worker who is a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. I want to make her feel comfortable, socially...that's why I'm thinking of buying the jeans. I work for the Army and all of the men wear jeans, so it's not inappropriate to wear jeans after hours. I went to the mall today. The only pair of jeans in the entire complex that fit me loosely in the rump and fit my waist were a pair of "Mom" jeans. Not exactly what I was going for. I'm not very tall, so loose pants wind up creating a big pooch in the front when I sit down that resembles a cod piece = not my best look. So, in the jean division, it's basically prominently displaying my Jennifer Lopez kaboose or nothing. I feel like I'm walking around with my chest hanging out...not to mention the pocket flaps that seem to draw extra attention to the arena. Do you think that women with butts you could serve tea on...who wear tight pants are not "ladies?"

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Where do you rate yourself, from wild to tame? Posted: 3/26/2009 5:40:14 PM
"I masterbate in the bathroom at work." (wmulb) So do I. No biggie.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Where do you rate yourself, from wild to tame? Posted: 3/26/2009 5:34:30 PM
Vanilla...all of the way. As it happens, I like ice cream...alot...particularly with a man who is good at it.

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Mature Lady and Young Guy for an Intimate Encounter what does it Mean? Posted: 3/22/2009 7:11:49 AM
"lovelytonou, please stop teasing me about the bunny, its not nice, he taught me many valuable lessons and he is better in sex than all of the people on this forum combined.Although I do not have much experience, I learnt from my bunny some sex moves by watching him." He is better in sex than all of the people on this forum combined. I can't help it...I can't breathe. Somebody call the doctor!

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Mature Lady and Young Guy for an Intimate Encounter what does it Mean? Posted: 3/22/2009 7:08:58 AM
Judging from your picture, you're looking for someone who wants da hard body. Well, you found her. Where's the beef? (Don't answer that. )

lightening51

Joined: 11/13/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

how am i supposed to talk? Posted: 3/22/2009 7:05:24 AM
I went and read your profile. (And I'm old enough to be your mother, BTW.) Your profile indicates that you are a very independent spirit... Sometimes, that can come across as a little pushy. You say your date should be something where you "talk." You talk. Maybe you need to let her talk a little bit.

Show ALL Forums