Here you go... chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Here you go...

Cliffy_pooh

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Here you go... Posted: 11/23/2009 5:41:14 PM
I think I just write new profiles now mainly for my own amusement. And whether I think its literary gold or liner for a virtual birdcage a brutally honest second opinion is always welcome and respected. In my experience I have found that the only way to stand out in the sea of jackasses that is the male online dating community is to be completely out of the box. Otherwise you quickly blend in with the rest of the white noise and are quickly forgotten. I have also found that saying you are funny is one thing and laughing your ass off as you write the profile leads to two completely different outcomes. But what I think of as funny may not always translate that way to everybody and that's ok. Oh crap, gotta go, I'm late for a date... Ps. Plenty of Freckles here is an emoticon just for you (I hope it brings you peace and happiness)

Cliffy_pooh

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Here you go... Posted: 11/22/2009 8:43:51 AM
You guys are great! I love it. I'd stay and write more but I'm late for my 5th date this weekend. Good luck with your search...lol

Cliffy_pooh

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Here you go... Posted: 11/21/2009 11:21:42 AM
Ok here it is. It was actually turned down several times by Match.com. lol It's long, boring and nobody ever looks at it but who really cares anyways. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably steal most of it for your own profile. So have at it!

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Ok, for once, here is a half-way decent profile...enjoy Posted: 4/25/2009 12:25:07 PM
Thanks XV, finally some useful help. :) Why doesn't POF have an automatic spellchecker? I think there would be alot more blossoming romances out there if it did! lol

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Ok, for once, here is a half-way decent profile...enjoy Posted: 4/25/2009 8:23:03 AM
So I got tired of reviewing lame profiles and giving advice that nobody takes. So here is my profile, cut and paste what you want. In some POF circles I've been dubbed 'funny profile guy' (yes as in real life, women on POF sometimes get together and compare notes about us lol). Does it make every woman on here want to email me? No, not really, but that's not really the point. If she laughs at this then she will most likely connect with my sense of humor. If she doesn't laugh then she won't email me and then I don't have to waste my time (and hers) dating her to find that out. (Insert shoulder shrug) The important point is to note that it does not read like a resume nor does it list off all my supposedly wonderful attributes. Probably could use a few more pictures admittedly. Actually I'm getting a little tired of the whole thing and am thinking about scrapping it all together soon. We'll see... :)

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 346 (view)

It's a Coffee! Posted: 3/31/2009 6:46:33 PM
The coffee date is by far the best first date since it is so cheap in terms of money and time that whoever pays for it is really a non-issue. Plus it is totally scalable. If you don't really click you can leave politely after 20-30 minutes and if you do you can talk for hours or go somewhere else. So I always offer to buy the coffee and cake (how can you drink coffee without some chocolate cake? That's just crazy talk!) but usually the woman insists on buying her own which is totally fine too.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

A review would be awesome Posted: 3/14/2009 8:51:25 PM
Well your pictures do not exactly give off the 'approachable' vibe that one would want to convey. The one with the girl is good, the others, not so much. The spelling and grammatical errors are a bit distracting but other than that no too terribly bad. Kind of on the bland side though. The whole nervous on first date things needs to go. If it becomes an interview then you're doing it wrong. :)

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Thinking about asking a girl out Posted: 2/5/2009 8:15:00 PM
Forget the movies and definitely forget the concert. Your first meet should be super low pressure for both of you. Just meet for coffee and have a conversation. You don't have to decide if either of you are marriage material at that point. Just meet and say hi. No big deal. Plus if you do something cheap then you don't have the additional awkwardness of who pays for what. Just man up and and say 'hey we should hang out sometime'. Taking the chance drastically increases your chances of success.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 224 (view)

Online Dating Guide for Men: Part Deux Posted: 1/15/2009 11:48:52 PM
This post is a few years old but timeless in its application. As a few of the repliers have noted, however, it is somewhat basic and anyone with half a brain would figure out eventually after being on this site for a while. As such I will try to add a few things that have helped me but might be a little less obvious. They are coming from the male perspective, of course, and you can take them or leave them if you like: 1. Never mention a woman's looks in any way, shape, or form online or when dating especially if you find her very attractive. There are a plethora of reasons why a guy should avoid doing this but for now the why is not important. 2. Profiles should be funny and interesting but profiles are not nearly as important your opening message to a woman. 3. The subject line of your opening message should be the most interesting part. Women generally get at least ten times the mail that guys do on POF so if it looks like the other 30 lame messages in her inbox she might delete it without looking at it. 4. Your opening message should be playful and fun and not show any real romantic interest. 5. Never, ever mention that you are not getting any dates or messages on POF on your profile or in the forums. 6. Never email a woman on the new user list. She is getting bombarded with emails and you'll probably get lost in the shuffle. If you happen to see her on the 'no emails today' list, email her immediately. lol 7. Never mention anything about sex in your profile or in any subsequent email until maybe after you have met in person and she is obviously into you. It is good to be 'sexual' but not horny. There is a big difference. And, remember, any time you are online and you talk about sex you almost always will come off as creepy. 8. Avoid at all costs the temptation to hit the IM button. The IM thing flashes every two minutes for most women on here who haven't figured out how to turn it off yet. They get really annoyed by it. 9. Never ask for a phone #. Always arrange to meet at a public place. Preferably a short coffee date where you do not try to kiss or hug her at the end. Your goal is to be so much fun and display so much value that she will ask you out again. Always make her bring poetry to read to you. 10. Do not be too eager to meet in person. Make her work for it a little. People appreciate things more that they have to work for.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

teach me yoda Posted: 1/6/2009 8:34:35 PM
Much you have to learn young Skywalker. lol All right starting off so strongly about how you just want a long term girlfriend strikes me as a little needy. My attitude is that I'm on here just to meet people. Your physical description is a little redundant. Plus its always better to say something funny than to just say you are funny. Remember: Convey don't say. The rest of it is very general and not really that interesting. The quotes are kind of girly.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 113 (view)

unnoticed flirting signs by women Posted: 1/3/2009 6:18:25 PM
Don't worry about any flirting signs from them. Just assume they all want you and go for it. If you have to worry about if they are into you or not then you are putting too much thought into it and hesitating and talking yourself out of approaching.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

How to ask someone out? Posted: 1/3/2009 6:04:54 PM
Good call JW! Never compliment on appearances. Rule #1. It will either show that you are creepy or too interested when you really shouldn't be yet. In fact I would have gone the other way by saying something to the effect that maybe she'll get a date now that she has the hair extensions. In a playful way of course. It would be effective in not telegraphing too much interest and showing that you aren't needy. Congrats on getting the # but the better strategy would have been to go on an instant date. 'Hey lets grab coffee next door'. Much easier and more natural.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

'It's the personality that counts' Ha! Posted: 12/28/2008 9:32:14 AM
Ok I'd pretty much scrap everything on your profile and start over including both pictures and the headline. Hey you said be harsh. The main point is not to just say you have certain qualities but to convey them without explicitily listing them. For example, don't say 'i have a sense of humor' just write something funny. And you have to have a more approachable picture. A smile goes a long way.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

what am I doing wrong Posted: 12/15/2008 8:29:30 PM
I think the problem is not the sustainable life part but the use of the words long term, soulmate, and 'really find love and happiness '. I know its counterintuitive but you really have to look at this as just meeting strangers. All you really have to go on is a paragraph and maybe a picture so you don't really know much about the other person. So when you assume your going to find all that you kind of come off as a guy who would latch on to the first woman to show any interest. Probably not true but it sort of comes across that way. Plus a picture would go along way. And some humor. Maybe a shot of your sweet windmill. And spellcheck wouldn't hurt.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Please tell me how I can improve my profile Posted: 12/13/2008 9:16:59 AM
All right I've made some edits. Grammatically some of it might be a bit clunky still but you get the general idea. My friends have described me as being serious as well as being silly but I think both words describe me aptly. I am kind of shy at first, but after I feel comfortable around a person I begin to show more of my personality; I warm up to people really quickly. I am talkative, I like to meet new people. I take care of my mind and body and am working towards my ambition as a practicing lawyer. I like to laugh and have fun. I am a very positive, happy person. I am very determined; when I have a goal I do not stop until I achieve it. I like to get to places on time. I am frugal with spending; I have good credit and pay my bills on time. I am a clean person for the most part. I do not smoke. I do not gamble. I have no diseases, sexually transmitted or otherwise. I have not been arrested or convicted of any crimes. I have no children. I am a very chill person with a largely indifferent attitude towards a lot of things in life. I rarely get angry. I do not like to regret things that have happened in the past. As far as personal and objective attributes I am looking for a woman with most of the same qualities that I have, someone that takes care of her mind and body as I do. A woman that enjoys interesting conversation and has some interests in common with me. A woman who is intelligent and has a sense of humor. Can take care of herself, friendly, extroverted and likes to meet people, a woman who likes to do things and go places, has friends that I like, who is secure with herself, who is positive, and is a happy person. In short, a woman that enhances my life but doesn't define it. I do not want to take this too seriously. I would just like to meet new people and enjoy this ride, no matter where it takes me.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Critique me... please??? Posted: 12/11/2008 8:00:43 PM
Yeah try again dude. Limit yourself to 10 interests. Eliminate any references to sci fi, real car chases, guns, ANYTHING intellectual, or indecisive date plans. So, yeah, pretty much start again.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Whats wrong with my profile Posted: 12/11/2008 7:47:37 PM
Your profile is very dry. It reads more like a resume. Remember there are alot more men on here than women so you have to be better than average to stand out. You say you have a sense of humor yet there was nothing funny about your profile whatsoever. Plus you list all your traits like you are trying to impress everyone. You want to avoid this as much as possible. If you come across as trying to impress then you seem like you feel you are inferior. Then they think you are inferior. A guy's profile is really not that important on here anyway. It is more important how you first contact a woman. Just like in the real world.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Please Feel Free... Posted: 12/11/2008 7:23:57 PM
You have to drop all references to any frustrations or lack of interest on the site. This is an absolute must. Mostly because women are always looking for social proof. If they see that another woman is interested in you then she will automatically look to see to what is so interesting about you. If you tell her no woman is interested then that does not exactly cast you in the best light. You might even want to put at the bottom. Ps. Sorry if it takes me a while to respond. The response from the site has been overwhelming. (That's one of my favorites) Plus your pictures are kind of creepy. Not you just the other distractions. And it always good to put what you are looking for in another person. It shows that you are picky and have standards.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Does my profile make me sound too lame? Posted: 12/11/2008 7:11:35 PM
Your profile is so perfect it makes me want to puke. The only thing halfway creative on it is the quote which was kind of lame and you ripped off from someone else. Where's the humor? Where's the creativity? Were you bored when you wrote it or were you laughing? Women are bored! They want fun! Tell them stories about running through the woods chasing bears or whatever the hell it is you do out there. Plus drop the whole paragraph about long term and kids. Sure they are important but its way too heavy for your initial introduction. It will come up eventually anyway.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Is there something I'm missing? Posted: 12/11/2008 6:49:46 PM
I didn't think it was all that bad but the no paragraphs thing is a little distracting. Plus I'd eliminate any references to guns. Also the part about falling in love. It's a little heavy, Romeo. Guys worry about their profiles so much and it gets a little annoying. True, a good profile is handy and will occasionally interest women but not often. I would guess that most of the quality women on this site get so many emails they don't have time to search through profiles and approach guys (right 28florida?). Just like in life you have to approach women and do it in a way that does not make them run for the hills. So try posting a typical opener for us to critique and make fun of (nicely) because that is where the real challenge is.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Have you ever run Posted: 12/7/2008 10:49:26 PM
Twice. Incredibly awkward both times. Still went out with one of them.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

People are standoffish on POF because internet is perceived as creepy. Posted: 12/7/2008 10:45:33 PM
Dude your pictures are totally creepy. I'd be scared to meet you in public. lol True, as a man I find it difficult to understand the big deal about meeting someone in a public place but EVERY single woman I've ever met here has horror stories about other crazy guys on here. Most of which turned into stalkers eventually.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 151 (view)

How often do you date? Posted: 12/7/2008 10:32:45 PM
Let's see, I think 15 dates with 10 different women in the last five months (the end of my last relationship). Though I only kissed two of them so I can't be accused of being a player (that damned no kiss on the first date rule is a ****) lol. Is that successful or unsuccessful, I don't know. All were positive experiences with beautiful women (except one)(not positive not beautiful)

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

I need help...desperately. Posted: 12/7/2008 7:04:39 PM
The Game is exactly what I was thinking too. It's my freaking bible. How do you think I became a cigarette lighter repairman? lol, it's not lying it's flirting. Neil says 'Dont be yourself, be your best self'. If what you are doing is not getting you the results you want then change yourself and change what you are doing. How bad do you really want it? Remember 500 million years of successful sexual reproduction got you here and will now end with you. No pressure. lol

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

The grief I got for using the --x word Posted: 12/7/2008 6:48:07 PM
No matter how innocent it may seem you can't use that word on your profile. Internet dating 101. It will ALWAYS come off as creepy just because you are online. And it's really unnecessary. We're all adults here. Everyone knows if two people meet and hit it off it might lead to that at some point. I'd drop the 'meet someone I can't live without part'. You think it sounds romantic but it comes off as 'I will be clingy and smother you'. And a cruise to Tahiti on the first date? Good luck with that pal.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

I LIKED YOUR PICTURE……….’anything else’ she asks??? Posted: 12/5/2008 7:12:35 PM
I never comment on a woman's appearance ever online. Rule #1. It's really unnecessary I think. If you are writing her an email then obviously you are interested and attracted. Plus it puts her on a pedestal and nobody likes a desperate kiss ass. I think this is the first mistake that other guys make on here. A woman should have much more to offer than her looks anyway. There are many attractive women on here but what's the point of going out with them if you know already that they won't respond to your sense of humor or share any of the same interests. Just try to make them laugh and if they can't appreciate your humor don't waste your time. :)

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Is my profile that bad? Posted: 11/30/2008 8:46:19 PM
Oh my gosh that is the most boring profile I have ever read! My rule is that if you are not laughing your ass off when you wrote it then nobody is going to read it. Hence, no dates. First off change your profile pic to the Eiffel tower one (much more approachable) and drop the old pic and the newer pic (sorta creepy). Your new headline is 'Han Solo looking for Princess Leia'. Next you are no longer a machinist. You are now a steel sculptor. Obviously you are a bit of a sci fi geek which is ok but not attractive (while writing this I am watching Return of the Jedi on split screen). So drop all your interests except Snow Boarding, Family Guy, Aerosmith, U2 and Nikola Tesla (I'm an RF engineer so I'm partial) Here is an idea for a new description: Currently I am learning to play the electric guitar but mainly just to impress women. Eventually I would like to join a band and tour the world but since I don't do drugs and am allergic to leather pants I've all but ruled that out. I would like to eventually learn the pan flute but since most women don't find it attractive I really can't justify the Carpel Tunnel I'd get. Another thing you should know about me is that I've evolved to not needing a car. I tried mental teleportation for a while but found it was just easier to live somewhere where everything was in walking distance. Hit me back if you have perfected mental teleportation or find pan flutists sexy.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

How can I improve? Posted: 11/27/2008 8:10:43 PM
That is pretty much the lamest profile I've ever seen. You really want to avoid listing any qualities about yourself as much as possible. Its qualifying yourself and no woman likes an ass kisser.

hottie_mchottson

Joined: 11/16/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

I need a woman's opinion Posted: 11/27/2008 2:57:57 PM
real interests? Doesn't everybody go dwarf tossing on the weekends?! It's a great date idea! I'd drop the 'in search of' part - way too needy. I love the picky part, though, but if your so picky why aren't any of your email filters on?

Show ALL Forums