Sooooo totally, utterly, completely confused! chat & forums.

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baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Sooooo totally, utterly, completely confused! Posted: 5/11/2009 10:21:51 PM
Change main pic to a face pic Kill pic with hot girl & wineglasses Baby pic good, but no sunglasses is better text seems pretty good, but i'd add more details good luck fishing rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

I Think We're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat... Posted: 5/11/2009 10:13:54 PM
Hi. I didn't find any problem with what you currently have. I would add some more info about who you are looking for. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Photos taken with shades or sunglasses worn Posted: 5/11/2009 10:06:25 PM
"The eyes are the window to the soul" Some guys/ladies think shades look "cool" I'd wanna see someones eyes, frankly just beautiful eyes can attract me to someone. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile Review For JAWSOME DUDE (Me) Posted: 5/11/2009 10:02:23 PM
I dunno, but the overall impression I got was you have an image to shield the real you and the image looks pretentious. Certainly unique. IMHO. I believe in honesty. I'm a guy, maybe some ladies feel different. Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Profile Review Posted: 5/11/2009 9:52:57 PM
Hello Sandi, I think your profile is pretty good, but I'd change 2 things. 1. I like the galveston pic - clearer view of your face 2. I'd put something in the profile about who you are looking for (after the info about you) Good luck fishing Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Please help with review - Need Opinions Posted: 5/11/2009 9:41:42 PM
Hello All, I have played around with my text and pics. I would like to get some opinions on how I come across. I'm thinking I am expressing who I am and who I would like fairly well. But, I'd like to see how you feel about it. Anything that you feel detracts? Do I need anything extra? Thanks in advance for your help! Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Does he have a right to be jealous? Posted: 5/11/2009 9:24:57 PM
You have a guy here either with personal psych issues or who is trying a psychological control technique on purpose. The starting a fight over something small is a big clue. Love/fight/love/fight - you see that cycling back and forth like that, then RUN. I hope he is not stalking you. Good luck Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Mama's boy Posted: 5/11/2009 8:54:47 PM
IMHO, the guy needs psych help and the woman doesn't need him. I would not want to have to deal with someone like this. She can be his friend and try and help him get some kind of help, but that is up to her. Dating is a process of sorting through what you want vs not want. If she wants hassles like this the rest of her life........ Defensive and mean kinda clinches it for me. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Getting over Shyness? >.> Posted: 5/11/2009 8:45:43 PM
Just start talking to people. Male or female. Any age. About anything. REALIZE THIS - You must ACT first, feelings will change later. If you do not ACT, your feelings will never change. Just start - you WILL screw up royally at first, but don't worry about it - expect it - and have this perspective "I didn't hurt anyone and nobody hurt me so it's all good" secondly, people LIKE it when someone seems to be interested in them and their opinions (just make sure it IS something you ARE interested in or you'll come off as a fake). When I was a teen I was PAINFULLY shy. Now I can give a presentation to several hundred people and not even have any jitters. It wasn't an overnight change but it didn't take that long. I just thought about what I'd like to know about people, how did they feel about certain issues that I felt were important, what made them happiest, what would they change if they could - just all kinds of things like that. I'd start telling a little about myself and then start asking questions, and just sit back and listen, they would always bring up other things that made me think of other things I'd like to know about in getting to know them. You can really learn a lot from other people, and make a lot of friends this way. Go for it. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

Men receiving oral Posted: 5/11/2009 8:24:10 PM
Don't care about swallowing or not - back in the 90's I got in this discussion with a bunch of guys - some guys said they felt insulted if the girl did not do so. Don't like getting deep throated unless a new spouse has no gag reflex - I hate the sound of gagging, but apparently it turns some guys on. Why, I do not know. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Can we talk about relationships without sex? I'm not talking ''a little'' sex I mean none. Possible? Posted: 5/11/2009 7:47:18 PM
Anything is possible with the right 2 people. For me a sexless marriage would be difficult. There are many ways to enjoy sexual relations without intercourse per se, so if someone wanted a marriage with no sexual relations, no snuggling nekkid, no loving caresses, no deep sensual kissing, then no, I would not be interested in a "marriage" like that. That being said, You asked, "Is it possible to have a wonderful relationship, only not be sexual about it?" and "Have you ever been in a non-sexual relationship that was love?" To that I would say sure. Right now I have a nice friendship with a beautiful woman that I love as a friend and she loves me as a friend. We have spent a fair amount of time together over the years - but neither of us is interested in taking it farther than that with the other. We've been friends for 21 years. While I was married I did not spend time with her alone as I did not want anyone getting the wrong impression. If you really enjoy someones company, why not. Hope you really enjoy the company of your SO. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

does it matter Posted: 5/11/2009 6:41:05 PM
To me, No. Materialism is meaningless. I want to pay my bills, give gifts, save for retirement/emergencies, and be able to give to charity. I don't really care how someone I might date is living their life in relation to "stuff" Others have their own opinions. Good question! Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Just Dance Posted: 5/11/2009 6:25:41 PM
You know, it's funny, I wanted to take a ballroom dance class with my ex and SHE didn't want to. I thought it might be good exercise and help me be less of a klutz. Then again, she might have been fearing for her toes LOL. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Why did you cheat on your significant other? Or why were you cheated on? Posted: 5/11/2009 6:19:58 PM
Well, if you have been cheated on by a woman, I found a very interesting and illuminating site. womensinfidelity dot com. In the end a cheater cheats because they lack moral fiber - marriage is supposed to be forever, but if someone is going to cheat I think they owe it to their partner to separate first. Don't BS/lie about it - just leave. I have never cheated, even though the opportunity was there several times. I still think I made the right decision in that. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

what would make a guy change his mind? Posted: 5/11/2009 6:03:54 PM
Hi. The main thing that stuck out at me is the word recently. If you just started then there should be no expectation of exclusivity. There are many reasons why he could have changed his mind, but honestly, he actually sounds like a man rather than a passive boy as he was willing to call you and let you know what's up rather than stringing you along or just ignoring you like some idiots do. Good luck - you'll find someone else - you're a very nice looking girl! Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

which way do i go? Posted: 5/11/2009 5:56:47 PM
One thing you may not have thought of is if he got your contacts at all. In telecommunications things get lost all the time. Email and texting, etc. does not always get to it's intended recipient, for many reasons. Wait a few days and then try another time - make absolutely sure you have the correct email addy - mistyped email addy is common. If no response soon after that move on. Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Does he want a relationship or just sex? Posted: 5/11/2009 5:50:54 PM
Just sex. Only nights.... come on. But, if you met him on here, with your username, what would you expect to find?? That is a serious question - not trying to be insulting - maybe you should change it if you want more than sex. Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Do guys think women who are submissive boring? Posted: 5/11/2009 5:45:28 PM
In a word. No. Submissive means deferring final decisions to the other. It does not mean not expressing your opinion or even debating/arguing. When there is a decision to be made that is going to affect both parties and there is a difference of opinion then someONE has to make that decision. If you can accept that he is thinking in the best interest of BOTH of you, he is able to express why, and you love and trust him, then accept the decision without resentment. If however, he will not even listen to your point of view, then you have a selfish a** on hand and you might reconsider your relationship. Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

how do I get a player to see he's a player? Posted: 5/11/2009 5:33:23 PM
300 friends usually means NOTHING on the web. That being said, men usually are unwilling to commit fully for a much longer time than women. If you want to know something you need to ask him straight out - plan EXACTLY what you want to say. Give him some time (maybe a few days) to put together an answer. You must do all of this IN PERSON. Don't let him weasel around - pin him down - if he can't answer honestly than you've got to ask yourself if you really want him. Honestly, you may have to walk, but I don't know everything about your situation. good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Request for review by ladies Posted: 5/11/2009 5:12:33 PM
Thanks to all of you for your input. I have made several text changes and added some new pix. If anyone can take a look again I'd really appreciate it. I'm still looking for some pix where I'm dressed up. I'm generally pretty casual, even in business, but I do have a few from dances and parties - somewhere - and I can't seem to find my Bermuda pix - and some of those shots have beeeeeeautiful backgrounds. Anything else I should add?? Thanks again everyone for all your help, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

LDR's - For guys, are they just booty calls? Posted: 5/10/2009 11:53:53 PM
Have been in two LDRs. First: I lived in Baltimore, MD - she in Hicksville (Long Island) NY - met her at a party in NYC. Worked great - saw her most weekends. She would come down. I would go up. By the time Friday rolled around......... lasted for quite a while. Second: She lived in Baltimore - Knew her since 6th grade - First I was teaching at a college in Chicago - (employer paid for me to fly to her once a month and phone expenses). Then later (for same employer) I was teaching at a college in Edison, NJ - I would go down almost every weekend to visit her and family/friends. (employer paid for mileage and phone expenses) Ended up getting married after the college eliminated the program I taught and I moved back to Baltimore to teach in Maryland. (my ex) Probably depends on how often you want to see someone and how far you are willing to drive. Or if you have the bucks to fly. I also enjoy driving. 2-3 hours is no big deal to me. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Well guys Posted: 5/10/2009 10:50:51 PM
First - give it a couple weeks and see if you still feel the same way. Let him know that you enjoy his company - that means telling him directly - not hinting. Then, take it slow (in general), most men will see it as neediness / smothering if you push for too much too early. Good luck Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Can a woman find a chatty man? Posted: 5/10/2009 10:38:25 PM
Sure, they just have to enjoy conversation. I am widely read and can talk about a lot of things, and I especially enjoy it if someone is very intelligent and able to challenge my viewpoint as I am always up for learning something new. (Girly-girl type talk that some women engage in would drive me bonkers though - as far as I know ALL heterosexual men dislike listening to that - sorry if you are offended but it's true ). That being said, a good percentage of men are not like that - they just don't like it . Good luck, there are a few needles in the haystack, but you need to sort through quite a few first. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Request for review by ladies Posted: 5/10/2009 9:32:12 PM
Thanks to all of you for your input. I have made several text changes and added some new pix. If anyone can take a look again I'd really appreciate it. I'm still looking for some pix where I'm dressed up. I'm generally pretty casual, even in business, but I do have a few from dances and parties - somewhere - and I can't seem to find my Bermuda pix - and some of those shots have beeeeeeautiful backgrounds. Anything else I should add?? Thanks again everyone for all your help, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Request for review by ladies OR MEN Posted: 5/10/2009 7:44:38 PM
Thanks for your input. I realized I needed new pix - just hadn't taken a look for them yet. Not a loner though, far from it - several close friends from church & groups I belong to and some that I've kept since elementary school. Weird sense of humor, what can I say - but geez, how often do you hear women complain about guys doing that - I have had my fair share of jokes that bombed LOL...... I have made a few changes, except for the pics, so if you want to take a look again... I'd certainly appreciate it. Thanks again - I needed to know what impression it made and you were honest, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

could do with some help from you ladies Posted: 5/9/2009 10:07:32 PM
Default picture - "Manly" yes, but possibly violent as well. Suggest a change to something more moderate. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Request for review by ladies OR MEN Posted: 5/9/2009 10:02:39 PM
oops didn't realize that - herewith anyone may comment.

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Request for review by ladies Posted: 5/9/2009 5:49:14 PM
Hello all, I have been tinkering with my profile and I think it does a fair job with saying who I am and what I want. I'd like ladies to take a look at it and tell me what you might change / add / delete. I appreciate your help. Thanks in advance. http://www.plentyoffish.com/member10171996.htm Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Acknowledging when you've had enough Posted: 5/9/2009 4:59:19 PM
Have you been examined by a psychiatrist or psychologist. There are people who suffer from some problems that make it almost impossible to connect with someone. You would never even know it sometimes. Sometimes certain therapies can help these folks, and sometimes not. I hope for you that you are not in that category If you aren't, then giving up at 27 is INSANE, and I'd say see a psych anyway. You must be awful scared to be hurt again which is understandable, but you must have the courage to keep getting back on your horse. NO excuses. Good luck Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

cant get over her, and she wants to be friends Posted: 5/9/2009 4:52:05 PM
It is done, sorry to tell you that. You are no longer her priority. Everyone deserves to have their partner treat them as their main priority (other than God) Staying friends will prolong your heartbreak. Breaking up is hard enough without that. Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

Tell me there are women who still want this? (a chaste guy) Posted: 5/9/2009 4:41:41 PM
I am chaste as well. I know you are not religious, but probably most ladies who want to remain chaste are. Most ladies who are Christian and serious about their faith will not become "yoked" to a non-believer. Don't know about other religions. I am sure there are some who will save themselves for marriage simply because it is the smart thing to do. When you give your body to someone, you develop feelings for them unless you are a real cold fish. You are risking heartbreak way more than you need to. That risk is inherent in any relationship, but if you don't sleep with someone, if you break it off it is a lot less hard on you. Affection is important in any relationship, and there are those that can be satisfied with that until marriage, such as yourself. You ARE going to have a much harder time finding someone, because you are non-religious. I wish you good luck, but I also wish you'd take a look at plain ordinary non-denominational christianity. I won't push my beliefs on anyone, but if you would ever want to discuss it I'll tell you why I believe in Jesus. No trying to persuade you - just tell you. Persuasion is not my job. I used to believe churches were the biggest scam in the world - and some are, but God is not a scam, and neither is Jesus. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

My bf gave me nothing for Valentine's day or birthday Posted: 5/9/2009 4:20:10 PM
My boyfriend of 2 yrs. gave me nothing for my birthday in January and nothing for Valentine's day. Last year he gave me flowers and cards...and this year nada! Is this a sign? Yes, it is a sign that he is no longer your boyfriend as he cares nothing about your feelings. Only excuse would be is if we was unemployed at the time. Actually, nah, if he can't dig up a couple bucks for a card at least, there are no excuses. Hope you do better with the next guy - we aren't all idiots.. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 300 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 5/9/2009 4:10:20 PM
Relax, There are people that are interested, but it takes a while sometimes. They may look at your profile and just be not interested and it may have nothing to do with your looks, for example I won't date smokers or skinny women while somebody else is fine with that. Lots of people never respond because they are no longer looking and don't even look at the POF emails. Some people just have no manners to respond in some way to someone who contacted them. You never know. Don't worry, just keep contacting the ones that interest you. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 104 (view)

Chinese ladies are they scammers?? Posted: 5/9/2009 4:03:53 PM
95% or more are scammers. There is so much on the internet about this it is unreal. Run, don't walk, run! Find somebody local - they are there and just waiting for you to find them - might take a while but they are there. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 149 (view)

something is wrong with some of men on this site Posted: 5/9/2009 3:59:03 PM
We aren't all like that. Sorry you ran into a few a**es. Honestly, there is no way to find out in advance if somebody is a liar unless you are an expert at reading subtle body language clues or if they give you other clues that make you uncomfortable. I don't know if you had any clues but if your intuition says something to you, PAY ATTENTION. Even then, there is still a chance, but the chance for a really decent relationship is worth getting thrown off your horse a few times. Just get back on. Hope you can trust again, there are plenty of us that are worth your trust. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 258 (view)

Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen Posted: 5/9/2009 12:26:00 AM
ok, I know I am going to get some flack for this, but according to Dr. Oz (Oprah's pal) a man gains an inch of penis for every 30 lbs he loses....So, one could conclude that if you are overweight you most likely have a small penis, or perhaps it just gets hidden... LOL. You mean I've got a footlong and didn't know it? LOLOLOLOLOL. Nah, honestly it is partially true but the 1"/30lbs is way off base. I once lost over a hundred pounds and only gained about 3/4 inch from the padding getting thinner. Maybe it depends on how someone is built down there??

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 257 (view)

Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen Posted: 5/8/2009 10:49:07 PM
Hi Rocky, You stated your weight at 229 I looked at your profile and you look fairly average. I also look fairly average. When I was 19/20 I weighed 250 and was dating very attractive girls of all sizes. I am 46 now, much heavier, single again, and I am still dating attractive women of all sizes. It's not your weight. I don't know you, but the looks/weight is just not the end all and be all of female attraction. There are "plenty of fish" that like larger guys specifically, and plenty that just don't care about size or looks. There is another reason. Why won't I date skinny women? Average size is OK, but not skinny. Personal preference. Rail thin runway models may be facially pretty, but most of them might as well be a boy for all the physical attraction I would feel for them. I like curves. I like VERY big curves even more. (bbw/ssbbw) Good luck, Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 120 (view)

Where is everyone from? Posted: 5/8/2009 9:07:03 PM
Abingdon in Harford County

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 106 (view)

Nice guys finish last is a sad truth... Posted: 5/8/2009 8:55:51 PM
I've been a nice guy and was married to a nice gal for 7 years. Not a doormat. Not a do everything for them, come when called kind of guy. Not clingy. Have my own life and interests. Also have a few girl friends (not girlfriends) that I would never want to try to establish possible LTR relationships with (or they wouldn't with me). BTW, For those that want it I found a pdf of that no more nice guy book on the web at http://www.myotherdrive.com/dyn/dl/315.224921.05062008.83941.0008fi/Robert%20Glover%20-%20No%20More%20Mr%20Nice%20Guy.pdf Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 3168 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 5/8/2009 8:10:38 PM
Yep I can wait - see my profile. Knocking boots is out of the question unless I decide I want to get married again. Close physical affection on the other hand is fine in my opinion with the right person. I'm in no hurry. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

IS IT TIME TO HANG IT UP..IF THE GUY YOU'RE DATING IS DATING OTHER WOMEN??? Posted: 5/8/2009 6:32:20 PM
Dating is not monogamy. If you want monogamy you have to tell him. He may or may not want the same. Your heart is already involved. Unless you are a cold person with no feeling, when you have sex, your heart is involved. Dating multiple people is a normal social behavior. It is only a problem when one wants monogamy and the other doesn't. I hope things go well for you. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 107 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 5/8/2009 6:14:56 PM
I am a christian man. One of my friends (not a lover) was a prostitute before becoming a christian. She has had sex with over 1000 partners and never had an std. Talk about luck. This may be a little weird, but we became friends when she was in the life and she was 19 (I used to go to nudie bars before becoming a christian). Nicest person you would ever want to meet and very attractive. Never paid her for sex. Never had sex with her. Went fishing. Went swimming. Shared meals together. She would have me over for thanksgiving dinner and invite me to parties. She'd come over to my parents house for christmas parties. Just a friend who I care about. I never wanted to be more than friends because of her relationship issues. Always treated each other respectfully. She has one son who is christian and seems very well adjusted. Even now at 40, she has major issues and cannot seem to have a long term relationship. I hope that sometime she will find someone. Not all women escorts, or men for that matter, are rotten people - those that use them are not all rotten or untrustworthy. People can and do change. Lots of viral STDs can go right through an unbroken condom - there really is NO SUCH THING AS SAFE SEX. There is just too much risk involved in having sex with someone quickly. Whether christian or not, If you are at a point in a relationship where you are going to have sex that involves oral, anal or vaginal you owe it to each other to wait 6 months from your last partner & have an std test. If you are not an adult and have no impulse control I fear for your future, and possibly your partners. My ex was a nurse who counseled HIV+/AIDS folks. I got to know many of them, as my ex and I would take some of them out for bowling or group lunches at times. We would also sometimes go to events they were having, even one guys wedding. HIV decimates peoples lives even though most (but not all) will live longer than they used to because of newer drugs. Not including other STDs, HIV is rampant in the Baltimore area and many other areas of the country, even some small towns. Using an escort for sex is EXTREMELY risky. Any sex today without honesty and STD testing is pretty risky as well. The only way to be safe is abstinence outside of waiting and std testing. Be safe. Rob

baltimorebhm44

Joined: 11/17/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

outrageous expectations from online daters Posted: 2/11/2009 5:09:07 AM
Just send them on to my profile! I like BBW SSBBW, But I am caucasian, and a big guy myself. Thanks

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