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licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

TEXTS FROM THE EX Posted: 11/14/2009 11:59:41 AM
Ask yourself "Why did we break up?". This is called passive-aggressive behavior. She is giving you messages in her text. She is letting you know that "she's doing something that we used to do together". Why do you think she is telling you that? Maybe she is trying to give you a message about your behavior when you were with eachother. It is a dig. Maybe she misses you and wants you to wake up and is leaving her options open by not getting too serious with anyone else. Ask yourself, ---why you broke up. Do you need to learn something here? for either this relationship or the next one? Stop playing mind games with eachother. Take a REAL BREAK. Evaluate your life and then communicate openly and honestly with eachother about what you both want in a relationship. If it is not what you want----then move on. If it is what you both want and there are issues---get the help and then get back together. It is your choice---but be HONEST with eachother.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Possible for a man to love two women at once? Posted: 11/13/2009 1:46:40 PM
If he is still married----GET OUT! I had a very similar situation and I dated him because he said he was getting divorced by the end of the second week of meeting me. He was also presently dating another women over the border when he met me at a self-help group. He broke up with her, pushed his way into my life and dated me, and kept telling me he would be divorced in 2 weeks. Situations occurred with his atty and it took about 7 months to be divorced. I was caught in the middle. He was already getting divorced when he met me, but I was blamed for the divorce by his ex-wife whom I have never met. In fact, after dating him for over 4 1/2 yrs. and him charmfully swooning over me and expressing his love towards me, he refused to let me meet his family or his friends. I felt very alienated always being kept out of functions and he became abusive, so to make a long story real short---I broke it off. It has been nothing but legal drama and loss of all my friends from him networking with them and creating a twisted perception of who I really am with others that I network with. In answer to your question: It is possible to love more than one woman at a time, but it is very difficult to split your affections for long term. So usually this person needs to make a decision and stick to it." A house divided cannot stand." Bible verse

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Depew, New York POF party @ THE AUD SPORTS BAR & GRILL SAT. NOV.-14-2009 8PM Posted: 11/5/2009 12:25:21 PM
Heard this was a nice place. Was supposed to sing here in a karioke contest. Jennifer

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

more sex Posted: 10/30/2009 5:38:34 PM
I definitely say yes to this on both sides. Sex is passionate and so is arguing. But it depends on if love is there. If there is love both sides must try to work on themselves enough to compromise and work out their differences to make the relationship grow closer together. Allow eachother to grow and be different but respect eachother and do not allow others to disrespect your partner in front of others.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

mate poaching (women who insist on taking another woman's man)? Posted: 10/30/2009 5:01:26 PM
Unstable man. Not worth it and he doesn't know what he wants and seems like he wants to play the field. All the time I was dating my man, he was dating women on pof. That in fact is how I found out about pof. He states he loves me but his guilty conscience caused enough anxiety to explosively abuse me. I had a hell of a time trying to file charges with reluctant police and when I finally did, the courts are refusing to give me an order of protection and have turned on me even before it has been heard. I have a Town Prosecutor who has allowed this to be postponed 5 times already while he continues to work his "magic" on turning all my friends against me to the point that they are now going to court with him and giving him the moral support he needs while I go alone. Now my so called ex-friends are trying to file charges stating that I am threatening them just by asking them one time discreetly why they are hanging out with my abuser. They are getting her work to file charges stating that I am threatening her when I did not even see her that day and it is only fabricated heresay from another agency that she uses also. She is hanging out with my ex boyfriend of 2 months who I am trying to get an order of protection against and since I don't have one yet, he feels that it is ok to go to all the same events that I go to. However, the courts continue to listen to him and find evidence against me if I should call him regarding a large check that he stopped payment on and I questioned with one statement on the phone. He is putting me through hell. I don't know why he is continually hurting me, when I left him after his last episode and I am not interring in his life at all. He is still interring in my life and the courts are allowing it.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

For the cheaters, what steps have you taken to reform and results? Posted: 10/29/2009 4:39:54 AM
I commend you for trying to focus on getting yourself help. She may not understand why you had to break up with her to do that----but you got it and most people don't. It is too hard to fix yourself up while in a relationship that is new and fresh. Look at an alcoholic who just begins to attend AA. They need to have unselfish love and by attending to yourself and your issues and getting some "sobriety" or help in your life first---you will be healthy enough for someone else. It is too much clutter to both work on yourself when just getting into recovery and expect to fertilize a new relationship at the same time. You will never be totally fixed but you are too fresh in the recovery process to maintain a relationship and help yourself too. You might have alot of trust issues from childhood that prevents you from trusting in relationships and therefore you end up cheating when the intimacy or depth of your relationships gets serious and then you run to someone else to prevent the closeness. Work on yourself by jounaling and maybe you could see a pattern in your life. Journaling might help you see what you are doing and guide you when you go to your counselor. There is also alot of sel-help books out there. Good luck in your journey.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Best friend was hitting on your spouse. What would you do? Posted: 10/29/2009 4:16:52 AM
I definitely would tell him. That is what trust and intimacy is all about. Now I have a question for you. What if one of my own girlfriends is cheating with my boyfriend at the time and also encouraging you to leave him since he is abusive and now trying to prevent you from going to other groups outside that we both have attended and are a part of in order to protect the abuser and from going to the agency that is a helping agency that helps people with housing, jobs, ......What does one do? It is not against the law for cheaters to continue, but is it against the law to have the cheater try to ban you from entering the building of the help agency that she works for if you have no contact with her there but are trying to get help from someone else and she just happens to be in the building?

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

Racism on my date Posted: 10/28/2009 3:35:13 AM
That was horrible, this POF person you talked to on the phone. That is called aggravated harassment. Try to be more careful who you give your number to.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Racism on my date Posted: 10/28/2009 3:29:53 AM
Bubble, It was his granddaughter not his daughter. He never even met the guy. He just judged him for the color of his skin. He was only a friend, but the guy immediately left when he say his cell phone flash to take a picture and he humiliated his granddaughter by doing this. She sobbed on her girlfriends shoulder the entire way to the car. I was quiet and watched him but talked to him alone on this. I was shocked. I believe in eqal treatment, rules for everybody. Equal testing, hiring, jobs, etc. for all.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

dating a drug (ecstasy) user Posted: 10/28/2009 3:11:19 AM
I would give him the "Tools" to get help but not DO the work. Look up Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous (12 step programs) and FREE. Then maybe go to 1-2 open meetings with him and get a schedule until he meets others in the group and then let him get himself to these meetings. Talk with him as a FRIEND only and do not ENABLE him by covering up for him, changing your plans for him and sugar-coating when he gets into trouble. BE HONEST. 12 Step Programs work on this principle. BE ONLY HIS FRIEND, nothing more because then he will focus on YOU and not help himself. Maybe refer him to a counselor to help with addiction and other issues. Do not drink or party with him or go to bars (wet places). Do only casual wholesome things and find out what side effects and symptoms ecstacy does through the internet. Educate yourself.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

How Do You Know Your Man Is Cheating??? Posted: 10/22/2009 10:22:15 PM
Respect yourself first and others will respect you. Don't jump in too fast. Notice the "red flags" and run out. If he has 3 cell phones that would be a red flag. If he pounds the wall or inanimate objects, is nasty to others unreasonably, lies, cheats on anything, covers up, doesn't want so and so to know you are with him, etc. RED FLAGS. Test the waters before you jump in....Get involved in an exercise class of some sort to work off the stress and anxiety of not having a relationship. Do for yourself. Learn something new. Enjoy nurturing yourself.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Grief turning to anger Posted: 10/22/2009 10:09:49 PM
Her age makes a difference how she reacts to grief. She is definitely in the anger stage. She is probably feeling abandoned too. She doesn't know how to cope with this loss. She feels disconnected and alone probably too. She needs healthy ways to vent. Exercise helps. Do a family activity that involves running around: soccer, baseball, etc. to get rid of the anger. Journaling helps if she will do it or drawing if she is little. Hug her alot and let grandma too. Reassure her. Try to get the biological dad involved at some point if he is healthy for her or a male role model who treats her special. Maybe a dog or pet would help her to bond to her own pet that she could connect to. Take it one day at a time. Be there to help her with challenges such as homework, questions she may have about life issues such as friends, loss, pain, etc. Alot of hugs and cry with her. She may just need someone to hug and cry with her so she doesn't feel alone.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 820 (view)

ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:57:53 PM
Want to add to not take child off med's, but do change their eating habits to nutritious eating and then maybe you will not need to give them med's or may be able to lessen them. Ask Dr. first. Get them on healthy eating and then see the change. Then ask Dr. about decreasing med's or maybe totally not need it anymore. Kids with ADHD are very impulsive and do not think of the consequences of their behaviors. Later on they could be violent, get into trouble of all sorts. They also have difficult time focusing.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 819 (view)

ADHD and ADD the real thing or a cop out? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:51:29 PM
I am RN, BSN and know all about bipolar and ADHD. My son was dx with ADHD at 3 yrs old. He definitely had this. However, Dr's do overdiagnose people with labels and the pharmaceutical companies make more and more drugs to fit the label. The Dr's oftentimes have stock in the drug companies. The video, "Making a Killing" has documented stories about this and the Billions$ that is being made daily and we the American people are the ginny pigs and so are our children. Most of these conditions are real. Most of them are genetic. Most of them could be helped immensely through diet. Vegan Diet. Get rid of the meat (filled with hormones and garbage) pesticides (so eat organic and raw), red dyes, food coloring, processed foods, white sugar and white flour, etc. Eat instead vegetables and fruits, nuts (if not allergic) oatmeal, grains, sprouts, seeds, etc. Get child tested for allergies first to rule out any. Read Living Foods Lifestyle book by Brenda Cobb and Hallejuah Diet by George Malkmus and you will understand more what I am talking about. American Food is deficient in nutrition and kills your cells causing all sorts of health problems and the drugs we take continues to weaken our cells .

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

food off my plate is better, why? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:39:06 PM
2 yr old stage. Read on Developmental Stages in the computer. The 2 yr old is playing a game. They love peek a boo too. When it is on your plate instead of theirs---it is more fun. It creates connection and bonding with you. It is no fun when it is on their plate and they have to eat it alone. Try saying "One for me---one for you" and let the child feed you too. It would be good to join in a parent group with other parents with kids their age to share stories with and activities with. See if there is a Parents Without Partners in your area. Also any Single Parent groups that have adult as well as children activities in your area. "Go to the playground with your kids and you will meet other parents. Also alot of the kids activities helped me to meet other parents with kids. Swap babysitting with other parents once they get to know you. Give your kids some structure so they are well behaved in public and others will want to swap babysitting with you.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Custody Procedures in Canada Posted: 10/22/2009 9:25:16 PM
In the USA, child support and visitation are 2 separate issues. Support is usually 17% for one child and 25% for 2 children of gross wages. Visitation is depending on whether you are considered a fit parent. Visitation is more difficult at times to figure out than support. Support is to provide for the needs of the child but oftentimes it is not used for that. I put my son's entire child support into his bank account for college. It wasn't much but it adds up. I paid all his expenses myself. I gave his dad as much time as he wanted with his son. However, he made it impossible and manipulated visitations by not opening the door when I dropped him off and then would call 5 min. later and fight to get him back. My life became a living hell and so was our son's. He would tell the judge that I would not let him see his son and lied. She did not know who to believe and got sick of seeing both of us. I lost my job due to going to court so much even though it was mandated and they were not allowed to do this by law. I lost all my income therefore lost my housing, insurances, etc. It was horrible! As a result, I also lost my child. The courts don't look well on single parenting and favor marriages. My ex married a pen pal just to fit the marriage slot in Family Court. He did not even know the girl, she was from another country. My son had a horrible life and I fought for 12 years in Family Court with no support system. I also was not allowed to leave the state with my son because the father exercised his rights and said NO even though he did not exercise his rights to weekly visitations. It was horrible. Most fathers beg to see their kids. Mine didn't want to see his own beautiful son.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Racism on my date Posted: 10/22/2009 8:37:44 PM
When I was with my boyfriend at the time he actually was spying on his granddaughter at the mall and took a picture of her with his cellphone because a African American male had his arm around her. He proceeded to call her dad and tell her about it. When I asked him why he did that and if he would have done the same thing if the boy was white ----he stated no. I was shocked at how he reacted before he even met the boy. His granddaughter was in tears and sobbing on her friends shoulder. I was shocked at his reaction to this in our times. Prejudism still exists in peoples hearts, but this behavior was outwards evidenced of it. There is also reversed discrimination that I have experienced because I am white. Racial slurs in my presence, rules of the agency that are not enforced due to race and are enforced for me for instance. Supervisors not addressing an issue for fear of the reprecautions once addressed. This is ludicrous. If we want to live peacefully with all nations since we are the Melting Pot and each culture brings richness-----why not learn from eachother and keep the same rules applying for all races and have the same weight for all rules for all people of all races? Everybody should have to pass the same tests for jobs, hiring, school entrance exams, etc. Has anyone experienced similar events? Need feedback from all.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Posted: 10/22/2009 8:16:14 PM
Want to say a few more things about smoking. Everyone has a right to choose to smoke or not. However, I have a right to be able to breath clean air. Everytime I am around smoke, I end up getting larnyxgitis for weeks and choke throughout the day in addition to the obvious of my clothes stinking. Smokers have a way of congruating together and chit-chat about all the office, church, neighborhood gossip and support eachother as they ask eachother for cigarettes, lights, etc. It actually is a social event when the smokers light up together. So the bonds get stronger as they communicate and share information and they actually form networks that could enhance their lives in other areas. Two of my children were born with asthma that I believe was formed from 2nd hand smoke since neither parent smoked. They have allergies to this day and I had to do CPR on my baby boy due to his asthma that he was born with. Smokers can do what they want as long as the smoke is confined, but it definitely is a health hazard. How do we treat other health hazards? Ask yourself that. Pot smoking is another thing that pollutes the air and it is done all the time at concerts with cops watching.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Posted: 10/22/2009 8:00:56 PM
Ask her if she usually smokes and how often. Does she plan on quitting in the near future? When? Dpending on these answers---feel it out. Then decide what you will put up with. I will not go out with a smoker. I have in the past. Long term relationships just don't work for me with a smoker. I am super into health and smoking kills your cells slowly and gets rid of oxygen in your tissues. I try to put oxygen into my cells by the foods and exercise I do. That would be counterproductive from the second hand smoke I would be inhaling in the smokers presence. I would be friends and maybe go out with this person once in a while but not hang out. Also if this person is a serious smoker---they lied about it. A mistake or afraid to reveal this character defect on their profile? My ex lied about having kids on his POF profile. That is a little more serious--yet he has grandchildren???? lol That is the primary reason I am going . Can't handle the lies and his behavior and double life.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Really need some advice!! Posted: 10/22/2009 7:48:42 PM
Journal how you feel and you will soon see a pattern in your writings. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with and don't try to please others because you are not being true to yourself. With time, once you find someone you are comfortable with--things will happen. Stay away from men that are pushing you into anything you are not comfortable with because they are being self-centured and selfish. Just be friends with guys for now and get to know them as people and then you may feel comfortable with one along the way and things will happen. Don't dwell on the past---just learn from it and understand it. Write it down in your journal and the answers will come.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Relationship with a metrosexual! Posted: 10/22/2009 7:41:09 PM
Is his voice and the way he carries himself feminine too? I like a man with some meat on him and a deep voice. However, a man like this can be a great listener and friend and hang out buddy,but for me not an intimate partner. I am attracted to the male species and its characteristics.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean? Posted: 10/22/2009 7:32:28 PM
If everyone is being honest----it means that they are emotionally cannot handle a serious relationship at this point in their lives. Some may say this and really want a relationship but you both are not clicking, but they should really be honest and say that to the other person. Sometimes they say that because it is more acceptable for the other person to handle. Sometimes people misjudge something the other person said and they jump the gun and determine that the other person is not their type. I myself, usually take it literal that they are not ready for a relationship for whatever reason and the receiver just has to let it go and not force the issue.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 181 (view)

Do woman like Guitarists? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:29:23 PM
Even though I like guitars and any instrument----let's see how creative a man could be to read a woman's mind and find out what she likes and how to make her drawn to you... or or or or or or or or

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 180 (view)

Do woman like Guitarists? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:25:47 PM
Love music therefore love guitars...shows a man's creativity...

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 1311 (view)

Why are older women not into younger guys??? Posted: 10/22/2009 2:04:05 PM
My son is 19 yrs old! Younger men are cute but have not matured yet, emotionally mainly. There hormones are raging and want sex with whoever? They are usually not responsible in this area either. 'They also do not know the social skills of how to treat a women and are still experimenting to know right from wrong. Even some of the more "mature" men don't know how to treat women. Stay with your own age and treat them the way you yourself would want to be treated----with respect and be responsible and they will respect you back. Work on yourself and become stable in all areas.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 421 (view)

Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man? Posted: 10/22/2009 1:30:26 PM
Eyes are huge....I read eyes well. Knowing your partner. Humor and clicking and laughing together is huge. Experimenting, playing, knowing what your partner is passionate about and finding small items that are sentimental including what they are passionate about. Giving them a gift certificate in what they are passionate about. Going to an event that you know they would enjoy. Buying something with the logo or patch of what they are passionate about. Making their favorate meal with candlelight. Sitting around a fire with blanket and glass of wine or sparkling grape juice or hot apple cider and soft music. There's a ton of things. Know your partner and what he/she is passionate about.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

A different look on the Nice syndrome. Posted: 10/22/2009 6:48:49 AM
Our society has gotten cold, self-centured and greedy. Look around. People sometimes get suspicious of someone "too" nice and think they have uterior motives. Many do, some are just charitable.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Drug Paraphernalia? Posted: 10/22/2009 6:46:15 AM
Why not just ask them. Confront the one person alone, get rid of the evidence and tell them they can't smoke there anymore.....period. Even smoking is not good for anyone.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 253 (view)

My body,My choice! Posted: 10/22/2009 6:38:34 AM
My daughter went into a 3 month coma and died from the FLU Shot that she was mandated to get for WORK! She has now been brought back to life and is in a WHEELCHAIR since she cannot walk. I am an RN, BSN and I will not sacrifice my life for a job! There is another way to bring up your IMMUNITIES rather than shots. It is what you EAT that either kills your cells or keeps them alive. GREEN LEAFY VEGETABLES uncooked increases your IMMUNITIES because of the chloryphl and raw organic foods (fruits and vegetables) heal your cells. Cooked, dead foods, kill your cells and cause disease. Animal products mainly. They are filled with hormones and pesticides on the plants. Organic, Living foods feed your cells and heal your cells no matter what you are going through. Look up WHEATGRASS, livingfoodsinstitute.com and get the Living Foods Lifestyle Book and also the Hallejuah Diet Book. That will explain alot. No to flu shots. Does it make sense to infect your body with more pollutants? If your body is not built up with alot of immunities what will happen if it can't fight off the immunizations? Ask yourself this.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 275 (view)

Do you do drugs??? Posted: 10/22/2009 6:22:20 AM
WHEATGRASS SHOTS are also sold at Merge and O3 (the restaurant in Everything Elmwood store) on Main St. near Harlem Avenue in Snyder. Medicinal/legal/high energy/healing.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 274 (view)

Do you do drugs??? Posted: 10/22/2009 6:19:14 AM
Here is something NEW to get high off of. WHEATGRASS JUICE. It is green and Medicinal and LEGAL> Look it up on the Internet. It gives tons of ENERGY and is healing to your cells. You can grow your own with HARD WHEAT BERRIES" you could get at Wegman's, Lexington Co-Op and Feel Rite. Sprout first and grow in ORGANIC soil. Water and cut and put into a Wheat Grass Juicer. It is very potent but gives tons of energy quickly and heals your cells. It is a deep cleanser. Also U-Tube has a video on how to grow it.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Are the U.S. public schools really that bad? Posted: 10/22/2009 6:11:30 AM
People are considered "assets" of a state or land. They also could be a "debt". Teachers are supposed to be educated and have knowledge of Developmental Stages of people and Basic Psychology. When kids smoke, carry in drugs, start fights, etc. why is it that the TEACHERS and Staff turn their heads and pretend nothing is happening. Obviously, they are showing partiality or they don't want to get involved because of the consequences. KIDS learn how to MODEL the behaviors of the adults that are in authority. It may be a challenge to stick your neck out and Stop what is wrong from happening---but ADULTS need to MODEL good behavior to others if they are to teach KIDS to be RESPONSIBLE adults. Travel in 2's might help. Get another staff to discreetly approach the kid and speak to them if at all possible or separate a fight. Something needs to be done. Get security if available and needed. Schools these days are danger zones. Some kids bring guns, knives, weapons to school because of fear. Just taking them away doesn't solve the problem. Teachers and staff need to investigate into the whys? Why is the kid fearful? What is happening at home? What is happening at school?, etc. Kids oftentimes, do not understand fully how dangerous a weapon could be and sometimes may overreact and use the weapon inappropriately on someone, but in the kids mind he is only trying to protect himself or maybe want others to look up to him. However there are laws concerning weapons also. This may be a sign of something else happening within the kid. Investigate and address the root of the problem. It doesn't solve it to just suspend the kid.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Solar Outdoor Lighting - filling our landfill sights! Posted: 10/22/2009 5:58:02 AM
If LED'S last a long time and are efficient why are we stressing over the small stuff? Someone should be able to replace something that works if you don't want to get rid of the unit by the same the bulb is shot. Recycle it. Use your imagination.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 109 (view)

WHAT PERFUMES DO YOU GUYS GO GA GA FOR? Posted: 10/22/2009 5:51:22 AM
Love Drakkar for men and my teenage son loves Curve.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

WHAT PERFUMES DO YOU GUYS GO GA GA FOR? Posted: 10/22/2009 5:45:44 AM
Dolce Garbanna.....I was buying perfume and a guy walked up to me and recommended this. Guys go wild over it as soon as I walk into a place.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Having 2 cellphones Posted: 10/22/2009 5:37:59 AM
My ex-boyfriend had 3 cellphones always on him! They caused alot of problems. I say that person is definitely hiding something or maybe he is obsessed with documenting his calls for some legal purpose. Read between the lines....this is why he is my EX. Major game-playing and living a double-life.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Mother relinquishes all rights to her son because she can't afford his healthcare Posted: 10/22/2009 5:27:57 AM
From the little information I read----This was the ultimate act of love that a mother gave up her son so that he could get medical care. Believe it or not----our government provides every material need of the child when in a foster home but will not provide it for a mother who wants to keep her children. You cannot sue the Social Service system because they are exempt from being sued for their crimes. Sadly, they provide more assistance for the Foster Parents than for the Biological parents who may need a little assistance to provide for their biological children. There is something WRONG in America. This type of tragedy keeps the caseworkers working. However, there are plenty of children that really need to be taken away from really abusive situations while the caseworkers are focusing on issues that should be solved by our government changing the laws on who gets assistance or not.It needs to be a case-by-case decision instead of rubber stamping everything.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Socializing with people of opposite sex when in a relationship Posted: 10/21/2009 5:36:14 AM
Leggy, He doesn't want me to meet any of his friends or family and won't give me a reason. Update: found receipts he has been cheating on me. Next day, he threw me across the room. Filed charges, he knows the police and the Judge.Trying to get an order or protection. No longer seeing him. Now he is seeing one of my close girlfriends who told me to leave him. He gravitates to those closest to me and causes division. Nothing illegal about that, just immoral. He goes to POF too. Watch out girls, he's a charmer with money.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Buffalo,New York POF gathering @ Elmwood Lounge Fri Nov 20,2009 7:00pm-11:00 Posted: 10/21/2009 4:24:08 AM
Elmwood Lounge usually has Lance Diamond. He is great! If he is not there that night, who is? Anybody know? That night is my birthday. I don't know if I will be there or go out of town yet. Good band---maybe I will stay. Love live bands....should I wear my green grass skirt? lol. or my stillettos? Ohhhh, gosh, my aching back. LOL.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Gossip and access to relatives? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:30:01 AM
The family is keeping their mouths shut......mmmmm and attack me verbally for even trying to get in touch with my relatives or sister. I have no idea what I have done to my relatives. They are constantly interferring in my business or my families and I cannot stand it and they know people in high places.They even bugged my mother to get me out of the will and she did it. I continue however to try to help my mother, but now she rejects my help and continues to alienate me from others including my only nephew who lives downstairs from her. I cannot change my family, only myself. I continue to love them in spite of the situation, but need to keep my distance because of their behavior. It is hurtful because I am very family oriented and loyal to my family, but I am being prevented from reaching out to them. So I have to create new families with new friends who know how to include others into their families.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Lentil Soup... Posted: 10/20/2009 7:20:23 AM
Now is Crock Pot season. Pull out the crock pots and start the soup! Mmmmm, all kinds for a cold day and share it with others at a pot luck. Feed your kids friends when they stop by. Soup goes far...

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Never been in a relationship before...and im 23 Posted: 10/20/2009 7:13:58 AM
Pcola, Just be friends and be yourself. Don't lie. Nothing good comes of it. If the girl asks, tell her the truth and kind of make light of it. If you were never in a relationship, so what? Be yourself, be honest, and be humorous. Girls love a good sense of humor and they love honesty usually. Do the right thing and you will earn the respect of many women. Stand up for what is right. Do what you are passionate about doing and stay out of trouble. Stay away from negative situations that pull you into trouble. Choose the good.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

POF bowling Party October 23, 2009 get togeather starts at 8:00 at Manor Lanes Tonawanda NY 14150 Posted: 10/20/2009 6:20:15 AM
Hey, I will have to dust off my ball, my bowling ball that is, LOL and pull out my shoes to see if they still fit...whewwww, ouch.....the cinderella shoes don't fit anymore....and stretch my aching muscles......and try to get that damn ball down the alley and hope it goes straight and hits at least a few pins.....LOL...We could always get the pads out and put them in the alleys again....LOL

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

POF bowling Party October 23, 2009 get togeather starts at 8:00 at Manor Lanes Tonawanda NY 14150 Posted: 10/20/2009 6:12:09 AM
I am with you Walt....LOL.....Not bowling for awhile....maybe alot of alleys to be seen in this event.....but whatever happens....it should be fun. We need alot more events that are out of the bar scene. This is the stuff we really deep down crave. Social....

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

10/31 Halloween Howl @ Blu Martini in Williamsville Posted: 10/20/2009 5:54:26 AM
Angel that would be a great game....to guess the costume. An idea is to dress into what you are passionate about doing in life. Let's do some charades and have the group guessing. This is a good icebreaker. I had to do icebreakers for college with the freshman before the topic. Write me if you want some ideas. I am pretty creative. I love planning events. Can I bring a crockpot of soup? They probably won't have it for us.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

10/31 Halloween Howl @ Blu Martini in Williamsville Posted: 10/20/2009 5:49:41 AM
Still come...she may just follow....Dress up of course.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

10/31 Halloween Howl @ Blu Martini in Williamsville Posted: 10/20/2009 5:48:44 AM
Funny that is what we need. A good sense of humor.. I am sure if you use that creative mind of yours that you could think of more than 2 costumes other than Barack or Fat Albert...LOL... What are you passionate about doing? Do that. Time to live out your dream. Your own....not Barack's.lol

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

10/31 Halloween Howl @ Blu Martini in Williamsville Posted: 10/20/2009 5:42:41 AM
Wanted ideas on what costume? ......What are you passionate about becoming? Dress into what you are passionate about. That would be a great theme in the future. Everybody wear what you are passionate about doing in life. You might even be doing it now??? Wear your uniform/costume. There's an idea.....There's a game??? Guess who I am? Let's make it a game.....why not?

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 142 (view)

Is it ever okay to resort to violence? Posted: 10/20/2009 5:34:27 AM
Vanilli, My boyfriend and abuser screamed at me while car was moving. Then he stopped the car, refused to open the trunk. He has an old sports car and the trunk latch is not in its normal position and the markings rubbed off, so I did not know where the latch was right away. When he stopped the car, he was screaming at me and immediately grabbed my neck and started choking me twice. Then let go, called the police and dramatized the scene to Protect himself to them because he scared himself when he choked me and had to create an alibi by creating his drama to the police. I scratched his face inadvertantly when trying to get away. Believe it or not---he has issues of abuse from childhood and he flipped out because I asked him earlier when we were talking why he is shutting down emotionally and told him that I loved him and tried to hold him earlier when the car was stopped. He flipped out because of this. I was trying to rationally understand him and why he shut down. He shut down. I told him to please just drive me home and he was screaming for me to get out of his moving vehicle. I could not get out until he stopped the car and asked if he would open the trunk for me to get my purse and cell phone. I kept it in there because we went to the park that day and I did not want to carry it with me. I now carry at least my cell phone in case of an emergency and a few dollars in my pocket. Of course the police strip you of everything. No, the police are not trained in knowing who is telling the truth. They get very little training in psychology if any at all. They know how to take into custody and arrest --and they are given too much power. The Judge takes the word of the police usually and rubber stamps everything and then you are forced to take a plea bargain, admit your guilt or you go to trial and if you cannot prove something, you are arrested for several years for what the police accused you of on the spot.(No witnesses while you are on a date in the car.) If you don't have several thousand dollars for a good attorney, you are screwed because the free attorneys that I have had have been worthless and make a bad situation worse. Never even found a good attorney who I paid. THE REALITY OF OUR LAW IS NOT "INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY". YOU ARE GUILTY UNTIL YOU CAN PROVE YOUR INNOCENT. When one is on a date in a car----there are no witnesses. I usually do not bring a chaperone on a date. My bruises were brushed off by the police. In my town---the police have alot of bias' and are very prejudiced. They become friends with the criminals if they know they could benefit in some way. They were part of the abuse the entire night that I was there and even called my abuser to the station when I got released to tell me to drive me home. I of course refused. They also refused to give me my purse, credit cards or phone so that I could call a taxi. I had no money, no phone and no transportation. The police also refused to let me use the phone to call for a taxi or a friend. The police also listed all my credit card numbers in their system so that anyone who needed copies of the information in their report could also get my credit card numbers and all my personal id numbers. The splattered my name throughout the police station in front of me and refused to get my credit card numbers off the system even when I contacted their superiors. Do I still respect them? It's hard. I let it go, but they continue to refuse to protect me when the abuser comes over and pounds at my door or sits across the street and stalks me. I do have proof. The police do not care--even when I show them pictures. In my vicinity they are acting like rednecks.The"Boys in Blue" who eats donuts together. I do hope they get back to their job titles of protecting the citizens and arresting those who break the law and stop patronizing the criminals who make them laugh and are abusing others.

licoricecat

Joined: 11/23/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

Is it ever okay to resort to violence? Posted: 10/20/2009 4:58:23 AM
Inpune, When I was being choked by my boyfriend once he stopped the car, he choked me twice, refused to open the trunk for me to get my purse, credit cards, id's, cellphone, etc. out of his trunk---I inadvertently scratched his face (like a cat scratch) in self defense) and the police arrested me! The police twisted everything and said I was lying because when they pressured me to tell them the story, I told the police that he would not open the trunk and when they got there the trunk was open because I found the latch and opened it once he jumped out of the car. He called the police to protect himself and filed charges on me and had me arrested! I was on a date so there were no witnesses. He has some major issues from childhood when he was abused by his dad and grandfather and refuses to get help. He emotionally shuts down when he gets tired. When I asked him what is happening and tried just holding him and telling him that I loved him and I will listen if he wants to talk---he became violent and screamed for me to get out of his car. We were almost at my place and then he sped off screaming at me to get out of his car while it was moving. I told him to stop the car and then he choked me before I could get out. The bruises on my arms the police refused to address and told me the next day, these were the bruises when he was trying to stop me from hitting him. Police twist things to protect who they want to protect. They have too much power if you ask me. Not much education either, for the most part. My next thing is to write to the newpapers since my local police continue to harass me by not protecting me when this abuser continues to stalk me and ruin my reputation with others. He tells me he loves me, but refuses to get the real help he needs and then charms his counselors when he does get help here and there. He now gets help from his female friends who he charms. I am the only one who really knows him and even loved him through it all. He refuses any help I tried to give him. I loved him even though I knew his issues---but he treats me like the enemy and I was his closest friend and loved him unconditionally, but I have to protect myself and had to end the relationship to save my own life. I am a professional and he is also trying to ruin my reputation with including the police continuously for minor things and forcing me to include them for major things that he knows I will need to contact them on, such as domestic violence. The best thing for me to do is to stay away from him and pray that my Higher Power makes it possible for him to get the help he needs. I was the closest thing to him and loved him in spite of all his issues. Since I am a medical professional I tried to help him, but he was too close to accept my help sadly to say and I then became his victim. The police or courts refuse to listen or give him the help he needs. My hands are tied.

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