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jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

She becomes what she knows I want Posted: 5/19/2009 4:31:04 AM
News flash! The only difference in these women and the woman you meet else where is that you have a posted profile for what you are looking for in a woman...........otherwise or the other women that you have met have done as you probably have done and that evaluated overtime what is desireable.............. Ask your self how many good girl, one man women have you met in a lifetime. If you have met one that isnt that would be the exception. Most women if not all are qucik change artist when it is a man they" truly" desire and I am sure many men do the same as well. I am from a family of seven boys and can tell you without a doubt the average guy does not have a clue to what his woman was really like before he came along........they are not playing twenty qustions all the time when you first meet to discover your net worth.......quite often it is to define what you are looking for in a woman ......and presto! The girl next door and the ex hooker are all good old fashioned girls when they are " truly" attracted. I know my fair share of women married and single with men that dont have a clue. The standard phrase is " dont say anything he dont know me like that ". It is all about the rules of engagement and few if any women dont feel it ok to give you what they think you want.......................and when the bubble burst its your fault they think you could handle the truth.........welcome to the ball game it not just here in air space but a fact of life and living just remember that going in..........problems solved.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 532 (view)

Are US Men Obsolete? Posted: 5/11/2009 11:39:11 AM
This is boderline folk .......men and women need each other. The mere fact that one thinks that the men at home are obselete ask its own questions? If you feel that men elsewhere are something different/better there is no exception to choice. Still I am not with the gender wars and while I do not see such a thing as equlity in a relationship and chasing the myth probaly causes more problems in relationships than anything else........ we are and can not define who is strong in one area or weak in another..There is no way to come up with equality in person/personality...........strengths or weaknesses are not gender specific and that why a good relationship works.....one benefits the other. The only thing obselete in gender is the foolish notion that one can do with out the other...........

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 5/7/2009 2:16:46 PM
The escort is more often than not a matter of desperation but the convience of it all. I think that when men take the option it is primarily for the end result without the hastles sometimes involved in dating. Contrary to popular opinion most of these men have relationships or marriages and most can afford it. It ultimately cost less time and money and comes to the same end and it appeals to the practical nature of many men and that profound in the big money arenas.......A far cry cheaper than a kept woman and a whole lot less time consuming than the dating process and if your busy and got the money it easily saves at both ends...............

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 246 (view)

Are US Men Obsolete? Posted: 5/4/2009 7:44:45 PM
I love these leading statements ...........first question why ....US ...men? Compared to what or who? This one is moving in some rather unfrindly ways at times....I think for all that has been said there are some age old truths that we all need to remember. We men and women have the right of choice. I choose not to date the feminist type while I see them as score keepers and I really dont see thata as healthy in realtionships. I am sure that the feminist would suggest that it better for them that I dont and we both have made our choice....... I do feel that women tend to have more a problem when men exercising the right of choice/refusal and that while none of us handle being cast aside well. I think the historical rules of engament have yet to be overcome and it still up to men to make that move. Still when men/women say the other is obsolete neither is going to appreciate that or anything remotely suggesting such. Relationships or individuals and have no place for social politics...................in this opinion. I do feel that relationships are caught up somewhere between the old and the new and that todays woman/man verses those of the past. I reapeat however, that women still feel the right of choice and refusal belongs to them and that why I feel there is some of the anger and resentments here in this discussion. I think that the work place is the last place in the world we should use as an example of/for relationship issues. That while corporate America and the local buger bar are infested with who is doing who employees and that married and other wise. Maybe one of the unsung realities of the female migration to the work place is that men for generations now have watched what married/supposedly committed women do at the work place........... most men evaluating relationships issues to day must accept the fact that the average woman he dates or sexes is some ones wife or a woman involved with another man/men and it does not help ailing relationships or strengthen the prospects of marriage for the coming generations..... The imancipated female has created some problems for her self as well and some of those are ugly as well. The larger reality is that we have a long way to go in gender relations and ................errrrrrrrrrbodys hands are dirty.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

If you found out he used an escort Posted: 5/4/2009 6:54:10 PM
It might be the poor guy was going through some financial times....its cheaper to cut a fee than to date a lot of women. I am not sure my ego could stand it, bar that I waqer its much easier on the pocket book............but what is a woman doing when she consents to a night out at the local expensive hot spots ............knowing they cost a fortune and knowing she want be seeing this guy again..........least it for an expensive night out....... people use people and usually pay for it one way or another....

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

Are US Men Obsolete? Posted: 5/2/2009 11:42:27 PM
I am not sure that the entire gender issues of the day have ever made real sense to or for common every day folk. There is no such thing as gender supiriority where gender " equity " is the true issue. While personal equity is the issue, gender becomes just another social issue and women and mens issues become what they are in fact " in this opinion " human rights issues. That all not negating the fact that there is no such thing as equality in a relationship while people differ. The fact that the woman movement continues to search for the impossible is testement to the fact of one of its weaknesses and suggesting that its time for some re- think across the board and that think is not gender specific.......... There has not come a time and will not come a time where men or women are the dominant personality in relationships as it has been proven and demostrated through out time. There have always been female dominanat and male dominant relationships and that want change while relationships are individuals. I hear the term radical feminism which in this opinon is a ufinism for the feminist that tend to fall into the traditional " dyke " or female extremist groups. The fact that feminism has not and does not do a whole lot for the working class woman or those women in the trenches and is more or less the haven of the affluent and academically achieved in this society..........that all not negating the fact that the rank and file are often those that support and champion the movement I really dont see a lot of benefit for that same rank and file over the long haul..They simply continue to put up a good fight. The young unwed mother working down and the local burger bar can not realistically afford the fruit of feminism and is more often than not as much victim of/to feminist think as any other. While women have litterally guarded and lived in denial of many of the negative elements of the feminist movment in what I perceived to be a fear that it would somehow weaken them, feminism has become an all girls club heavily dosed with female homosexuality and self indulgent females. The saving grace of the movement has been the You go girl loyal and female support groups that appear to feel that the feminist movement is a must and there by support the movment too often inspite of as opposed to because of .......... Relationships are becoming increasingly difficult and that while humanity seeks to redefine its self indulgent existence. .....Men have been making changes as needed to indulge feminism and women agendas for several generations now...some of the fall out is evident in the nature, problems and issues of relationships and gender today. The question may not be weather men or women need each other beyond the obvious. The day that men move to the same tone and direction of feminism " I dont need a woman " Houston we got a problem. It is not looking up for the coming generations...............

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 360 (view)

When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape? Posted: 5/2/2009 9:47:10 AM
when she says no maybe one of the legal systems greater flaws. It is a female safety net generated in the bosom of the feminist movement and maintained in todays atmosphere of political correctness.................complacency being a better word for the whole of it all. There are probably more men suffering from the bipolar reality of far too many women than anyone likes to belive............in the case of the take home drunk...... it aint worth the risk..................................ever!

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 964 (view)

yes or no? Friends with benefits! Posted: 5/2/2009 9:11:38 AM
Friends with benefits......"no such animal" ....this one comes under the heading of the games people play. It tends to start with something like I dont mind having sex with them..." but ".. and moves from there. I would think that phrases such as " we have thing going on " an understanding and the one I heard from a female recently was that she had " mantainence men ". the bottom line is sex with out commitment folks and the rest is................... The games people play...................

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

That's just what people do. Posted: 5/2/2009 8:43:12 AM
Some -what in that line of thought I feel that more often than not when most folk say " Im sorry " it is not a genuine response to what is more often than not a premeditated act...........and we can not be truly sorry for those....still the appology has its social expectations and that beginning with you accepting it .........Graciously....

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 209 (view)

Why are so many attractive people divorced? Posted: 5/1/2009 4:19:20 AM
I mean no harm but really. It has nothing to do with looks and that good, bad or otherwise. I have yet to meet someone or hear of someone that married because he/she was good looking.......Not that I can say it aint happened and if it did then there is your reason fot that divorce. We all like for it to look good and that bars gender but few if any take it to the church for such simple reasons................but then rich and famous is another story.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

does consistant lateness flag personality problems? Posted: 5/1/2009 4:00:20 AM
Given the resoning for one being late all the time one has to wonder what is the reasoning on those always early.................Should be interesting to hear what those folk are supposed to be about...................to say the lest.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Too picky? Just don't want to settle Posted: 4/26/2009 2:03:37 PM
I am a man that loves to hear the friends first statement. The trick is not to let a woman know that. Its ok if they " women " want it that way but not for you by/with the average woman. It as best, is a feeling out process and at the worst a manipulating experience in manipulation that you will be better served to find out early on. I suggest to any man with dating problems to lower his early expectations. If she is apealing then relax...it either works or it doesnt. Most women have their process and for what its worth ,f your interest level takes you there she will process you out. You do your best to enjoy the ride and it again works or it doesnt. There are too many people in the world for folk to strain up where relationships are concerned. It all goes around comes around..........and that is fact and another shot at heaven is " always " just around the corner. The truth is most of us make better sex or activity partners than mates any how so squeezeeee the lemon for what its worth and move on. Heres a well learned lesson for any man........watch how women handle the dating process ...........and learn! If you do I promise you will thank me for that bit of info...

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 285 (view)

Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 4/22/2009 11:45:28 AM
It bee said that many lie about how man and women how few and that begins the lie in relationships. If and when you tell a woman that she is heaven on earth she will gladly want to hear it and appreciate you for it........still the real issue is individual in women and that some want to pretend that love and sex are the same thing and some dont and all those in between. Women and men alike look to hear a lie when they need it and it really aint all bad and that profound when its the sweet nothing lie when you are having a bad day....................... My answer is to " beg " for truth where it really matters to me and that not how she feels about it but how I do. If I feel a need to know something about her for any given reason I will say that........if we are going to work then I need to know the whole truth on " this ". That in this opinion is the only way it might work and if they lie then at best it aint my fault and I move on...........regretably at times.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Putting your spouse as last priority Posted: 4/22/2009 11:39:00 AM
The mother and father relationship are the primary relationship in family. Those relationships define the generations and while some of us feel the chidren come first that often defines many of the social ills of the day. If and when mom and dad work the family works and from there we move into society..............family is the human training ground and where we are all .................ultimately defined.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 277 (view)

Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 4/10/2009 2:42:53 PM
I thought we all knew by now that both men and women know at first sight if it is on or not. No man or woman under normal circumstances dates some " undesireable " and sex is included in both the long and short term prospects for both men and women.. Women tend to dangle the prospect to their advantage and men conditoned to the rules of engagement indulge them. ...just like a woman is defined physically so is she in dating circles. " No kissing on the first date " etc etc. I have personally always felt that women were more concerned with the impressions she/they leave with the man/men she desires and not her reality. What it takes to real him in etc.. and the real woman shows up some where later on. In that light if she feels you are looking for a "good girl" that is what she presents you with ...If she is out for fun and games she presents you with the she male etc.. etc..and its all about paying attention when its all said and done.................everybody wants sex the games are played before and after.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

To Tell or Not to Tell? Posted: 4/9/2009 7:27:27 PM
I have always felt that we humans were more concerned with impressions and too little about truth where relationships are concerned.......... The good girls and guys that come togeather and spend a lifetime lying to one another and never quite understand ......................what really went wrong.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 327 (view)

men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies? Posted: 4/9/2009 7:17:34 PM
If you are with a woman with this kind of track record and dont know it ......that more the problem. There is always two sides to this kind of question and that the male and female response......most men dont like do drive in heavy trafic and most women call it a double standard or suggest it less than manly if one is not willing to accept the local grab bag for a woman.. Fact is' most men aint in the relationship business for social or political reasons and not concerned with standards " double or not" and neither or women. That being said men like women have the right of refusal and a lot of women never learned that on the way up.........we dont pick women with or social conceince or the political climate in mind and that age old method still applies .......its call choosing and the real double standard when it comes to choosing is that the average woman wants to tell a man how to choose and seldom is that in the male iterest..................double standards or not.......and they do work both ways...........those double standards its a matter of what issue is on the table..... money is one that comes to mind.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Why is it so rare? Posted: 4/7/2009 8:25:47 AM
Relity is, that a mans money and social status trumps his looks and it is the opposite for women...........and the rest is about the games people play. It begins back in the old school days where the star jocks will get the girls everytime and mister not so ? usually suffers quitely in resentment. In the short, wealthy men of status,fame etc. and beatuiful women travel a different path in life..........just ask either one. Truth be told....The more money a man has the better looking the woman he " can " afford and that the game as it is played out daily in this society....................the fringes of big money and good looks.............but we all knew that ...........I think!

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

To Tell or Not to Tell? Posted: 4/6/2009 11:08:15 AM
A Lie by omission is lying just the same! This one usually adds up to being a woman that has been lying to her man " by omission " and suggestion " that she is a old fashioned " good girl " from the house next door. I call it a woman playing good girl games and for some reason feels threatned that she might be found out. These are usually the women speaking to double standards and asking is it ok to lie about who you are and where you have been. It is never right, fair or wise to lie in a meaningful relationship and most would not have to if they were honest up front before feelings deepened. why ask when you are going to lie any way is the question I usually ask and that while we already know its wrong................If you dont already know it should be said that there are plenty of folk wainting to support you and like positions ............its all about self indulgence and that the name of the game these days............................

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Working or waiting? Posted: 4/6/2009 10:35:51 AM
I could not help being reminded of the good old school days when reading this one. When someone attempted to fix me up with a less than desireable female and the opening phrase would always be " she is so nice "!!. Nice will get you to heaven and a whole lot of " friends " if you care to call it/them that. It aint about what you feel about yourself that attracts others nor is it the defined " good " it more often than not is the male thing and how women define that individually that attracts women. The education, dollars and cents and good qualities are gravy.......that again if you want to call it that.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

To Tell or Not to Tell? Posted: 2/27/2009 10:50:02 AM
We are all the whole life span and that some good and some bad...I wonder where this perfect relationship would be if the truth were told up front in the beginning. It is probable that the foundaition is built on lies and that " he " really doesnt know you but the impressions you have chosen to give him... The other party should always have the privilege of a true evaluation of their mate and that why honesty is the best policy and why honesty is rare these days. We are all subject to sell false impressions when we meet someone interesting..it becomes an issue when the relationship develops in to something special and you find your self doing a cover up..............supposedly all in the name of love. He/she tends to feel like a fool when the truth surfaces and it usually does just when you dont need it..........Still these lies are acts in self indulgence and not about the us but the " I" in us all.........

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

Are Today's relationship nothing more the a business transaction? Posted: 2/21/2009 8:19:35 AM
If you exchange sexual favor for material gain...........its whoring. If you look for marriage or relationship in that same light it is that same. While it may have its other positives, the fact that the material deal was made does not come with out consequence. If and when we stopp dressing up reality with pre sweetened little words and buzz phrases like I am looking for security a good provider and the other side is saying I am a good provider and will give you the world etc. , we will see no real difference from the street level arrangement, bar logenivity in realationships at anyime in history...... We are all socialized in gender and the female sees sexual favor as a marketable product in relationships for the most part and most men follow suit in seeing his material and social status as what defines his purchasing power ...........etc. etc...

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 266 (view)

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? Posted: 2/21/2009 7:50:58 AM
I seriously doubt that anyone can want another " just for sex " if there is any length of time spent togeather in the literal sense. I think far too many women look to use sex as a bargining tool to their fintal destination what ever that is or wants to be........the problem being the old good girl hold out practices were thrown out when the first bra was burned back in the sixties somewhere...............and most men believe or think its all apart of the female games that prevail today ..............and more often than not it is. Just another simple game of manipulation and control. If and or when a relationship is defined the same woman will be the first to complain about not enough sex............

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS SURVEY Posted: 2/21/2009 7:35:13 AM
Friends being the deceiving word here............just leave off the word " friends " and the truth begins to surface. The simpler truth being he she is ok but not the one. Still the sex is perty good and will do for a time.......women call it not settling for the almost and men say they aint ready yet....and pop phrases like this continue to plague reality.

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 466 (view)

Why do young men think older women are interested in them? Posted: 2/11/2009 11:39:23 AM
A younger man knows no more than his elders who is interested and who is not. It is only after the asking that any man knows...not forsaking the fact that there are a host of older women are looking for younger men and would jump at the chance. In the short....it aint personal!

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

Are Today's relationship nothing more the a business transaction? Posted: 1/5/2009 3:06:29 PM
I like the phrase " material arrangements " . I think there are far too many attempts to reach that desired material or social economic plane in todays relationships. Two people waking up somewhere in time in divorce court that dont have a clue about the person they were married to. ........Marriage regardless of one's social economic outlook is a difficult task and darn near impossible if your foundation is built in a mterial world.............

jimy-dancer

Joined: 11/30/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? Posted: 1/5/2009 2:32:59 PM
The problem here is that many women dont deal in reality....If a man has an interest in you sex will be a primary factor. If and when a woman has an interest in a man sex will be a primary factor. We are reared to handle that interest differently as men and women and a mans way is no more or less right or wrong than a womans.......... Women tend to want all their ducks in a row if and when they can before they let go and tend bargin and jockey for position in the relationship early on" via sex ". The male via the social construct has to weed through the different types of women out there and some how majically define where a woman stands on sex and where it should or should not be introduced into the conversation......Women contrary to what many seem to think or suggest are all different when it comes to sex, when its time and when its time to start to talk about it etc........... I persoanlly get the word and the issue on the table early ........and that the only way to come to understanding about what works and what doesnt............Mutal consent and understanding and not how we differ but where we are alike!

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