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boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

What could I be doing different? Posted: 11/23/2009 4:41:03 PM
I've made some changes. I'd like some feedback on the changes I've made and if it's enough and I should leave it alone or if I should keep tooling with it. Thanks for the help so far, I'd love to hear more.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What could I be doing different? Posted: 11/17/2009 4:15:41 PM
Wondering if I should delete the following: I like to take things slowly, but I am a physical person who enjoys hugs, touching and PDA's once things evolve to that level. However, I also need my own space and breathing room and do not like to be smothered. There has to be a healthy balance. I do not need or want either someone who is afraid to be affectionate or someone who is afraid to let me out of their site. I am not overly possessive and do not consider possessiveness from men to be a sign of affection.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

What could I be doing different? Posted: 11/17/2009 3:49:32 PM
Thank you, your advice is very kind and helpful. I'm going to go and see what I can improve on right now. Interesting about the photo's and the body type! Thank you very much, afinger.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 597 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 11/17/2009 3:41:33 PM
My name is Amy and I live in Northern Michigan, Wexford County. I would be interested in dating from a distance as long as the man had transportation (as I do not) and was willing to travel to see me... maybe I should mention this on my profile.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Anybody interested In American literature Posted: 11/17/2009 3:25:20 PM
I like the New England Transcendentalists. Look no further than Boston. Also, same time period- Hawthorn and Poe. EAP is AMAZING.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 159 (view)

Is Rock and Roll dead? Posted: 11/17/2009 3:22:35 PM
No, Rockers are solid... it morphed from Country and Blues into Rock n Roll and then Hard rock and Punk and now its Emo and Indie and whatever... so many great forms of RnR for people who listen to music with their soul! If it morphed from country and blues it seems to be coming full circle now.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 158 (view)

Is Rock and Roll dead? Posted: 11/17/2009 3:14:11 PM
No, but what I would consider to be Rock and Roll these days is usually labeled as Alt-Rock or Alt-Metal for some reason. My favorite current band is Seether which really taps into 80's rock, I think and yet still keeps it modern. I think bands like Daughtry are ROCK. A lot of old rock bands and musicians are going to country now. Music is very fluid these days, country, rap, rock, metal... one band might do all of them!

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

What could I be doing different? Posted: 11/17/2009 3:01:05 PM
I'm beginning to get frustrated. I'm not sure what to do! I'm wondering if there is something about myself or my profile that is making it more difficult than it should be to find someone who actually wants to go out and not just chat or text. I would like some eyes to check out my profile and tell me what is good, what is bad and what is.... well, you know.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 196 (view)

Masturbation=cheating Posted: 11/17/2009 2:51:15 PM
an yes i masturbate - i beat that thang like it owes me money sometimes ROTFL

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 286 (view)

Smarter ladies have worse sex Posted: 11/17/2009 2:40:57 PM
"I can have an orgasm in like 30 seconds flat if I do it myself, about 2-5 minutes if he goes down on me. " Yeah, those are the easiest ways, although I tend to take longer during oral than just a couple a minutes.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 285 (view)

Smarter ladies have worse sex Posted: 11/17/2009 2:39:30 PM
I don't know. I'm pretty smart... above average IQ scores and curious, love to learn, etc, etc. I do have a pretty hard time reaching orgasm during sex. I don't think that I "think too much during the act, that's one thing that usually makes my brain go to goo. I do know however that it takes a very long time and quite a bit of attention to detail to get me there. I have no trouble giving myself an orgasm so I'm not frigid by any means.... just difficult I guess!

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 261 (view)

Why Are Men Over 30 Drama Shy? Posted: 11/17/2009 2:22:16 PM
I avoid guys who say "No drama" because I feel that I will be cast as their next drama queen. Likewise, I think guys who say, "No liars, No cheaters" are bound to attract them. It's like saying, "I've been treated badly in the past and I don't like it but I will put up with it at least for a time." I also don't like, "I'm a laid back easygoing guy." It's meaningless, just delete! No baggage is stupid, everyone has baggage unless they are a naive teenager. A friend of mine once said that you should never let a man know that you let another man treat you badly! You are just setting yourself up for some smooth operator with the "hey baby, I'm not like other guys" line. Oh yeah, another thing I hate to hear, "I'm not like other guys." It's right up there with, "Trust me." If you are trustworthy or different, you won't need to tell me, it will show. If you have to tell me, it's probably not even true.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Grey Hair: Distinguished, or EX-tinguished? Posted: 11/17/2009 2:11:23 PM
I can see the Johnny Depp resemblance too! When you look like JD, it really doesn't matter WHAT color your hair is!

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

Grey Hair: Distinguished, or EX-tinguished? Posted: 11/17/2009 2:09:11 PM
I like it (on you)... especially since your face is so youthful. But I think you might look good with darker hair too. In the end it's up to you I think. Try some temporary dye and take some pictures! See what you think and then wash it out. I'm the kind of girl who's always changing my hair color. Currently I'm a red head. I've had blonde, brunette and even black hair! I don't take hair too seriously, it should be fun.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

You know you're getting old when ... Posted: 11/17/2009 2:04:17 PM
When you 're talking to a cute guy you like and you mention a movie you saw as an adult (that feels like it was just a couple of years ago... for example Titanic) and he says, "I watched that with my mom when I was a kid." Uh... yeah, that really happened to me!

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

The big issues that shouldn’t be. Posted: 6/4/2009 5:00:18 PM
Love and support need to be given by people she has already formed relationships with (family friends etc) You can not save someone from themselves. And you can not be her therapist or her savior. So I would say that you should probably move on. (sorry that wasn't what you asked.) AS a brand new person in her life, it is not your job to "help her with her issues." YOu are not a bad guy for saying, "this is unnacceptable to me."

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Personally... Posted: 6/4/2009 4:30:11 PM
....It seemed I have always connected best with women a bit older than me. Current SO is 46...Ex wife is as well...last GF was 45....etc. I have found that whenever I go under my age...even as low as 40...there seems to be a disconnect. I would give 35 a shot...but below that I just don't see it.... So you are saying that I am too young for you. You are my new best friend! lol.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

How young is too young? Posted: 6/4/2009 4:28:58 PM
as long as you are not young enough to be my daughter, or old enough to be my mother, in a logical sane way, we are good to go... Well, then you have a "range." You would think 20 years either way would be too big of a difference, and that is what the question is. I don't know what you would think of 13 year difference or 15 year difference (technically old enough to be parent/child). But it is obvious that you would raise your eyebrow at an 18 year old dating a 36 year old. Or at least feel uncomfortable with that span for yourself.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

How young is too young? Posted: 6/4/2009 4:24:11 PM
Caution goes a long way when you start to become serious or long-term. You wouldn't want to fall in love with the wrong one, especially when children might be in the future. This is true regardless of age. I've tangled with plenty of the "wrong ones" who were older or close in age to me!

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

How young is too young? Posted: 6/4/2009 4:20:27 PM
One of the best known myths. Women as a rule take better care of their skin, don't party as hard as men, and don't spend as much time in the sun. As a result women for the most part look younger longer than men of the same age. I have seen men in the early 20's that work outside and already have rather deep crows feet. Oh, I think you are so right. Look at a 15 or 20 year class reunion. The women are still hot and young (ish) looking and the guys are all old and bald! I think women in general do age much better than men. However, some of the same changes (wrinkles, dryer skin, grey hair) do tend to make men look more distinguished and hansom but don't have the same effect for women. Despite the stated fact that I like younger men, I often find that the grey haired men in the haircolor comercials look better BEFORE than they do after.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

How young is too young? Posted: 6/4/2009 3:42:45 PM
Men do usually age more gracefully, but I look quite a bit younger than my age. I get mistaken for an older teenager fairly often (depending on where I am, what I am wearing and who I am hanging out with.) I'm under 5 ft tall and that adds too it. I get quite shocked looks when I reveal my age (I take after my mother that way.) I looked no older than 15 until I hit 30. Now I usually get 20-something. (When I was a teen-ager, I looked like a little kid, true story and oh so sad, lol) Oddly enough, I sometimes feel more conspicuous with a guy my age or older, because I know I look more like their daughter or something. My last bf was two years younger and everyone thought he was significantly older than me. Many times when I am in a room full of people where I am the oldest, someone who does not know me will assume that I am the youngest of the bunch. I know that the age you look isn't the main factor, but for me it does alter my comfort level in a lot of ways I think. Also, I don't like younger guys exclusively, but I do feel quite comfortable in general with them. It does get dicey when they mention that they saw Titanic with there mom because they were a kid at the time that it came out. There are many factors involved, I know this. All 21 year olds are not the same, and some of them seem far to interested in beer and boobs or far to baby-faced for me to find attractive. But there are plenty who are fine young men (emphasis on the fine) and in public, would actually appear older than me in many instances. (Not that I look under 21, just that they look older than there age and I look younger than mine.) I think I'm rambling...

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 2439 (view)

what is everyones opin on tattoos? Posted: 5/29/2009 2:31:49 PM
Well, everyone has different tastes. I have no tats, but I love them on men and women, if the tat matches the person. (I hate it when people get them to look like something they are not, and am not fond of generic tats, religious such as crosses unless they are very artistically done, JESUS or MOM unless there is a really good reason and they are artistic. Also, women's names are always a bad idea.) Tat's are a form of self expression, obviously if a girl has tats and it is a turn-off for you, she is not the right girl for you and you are not the right guy for her. Some guy will totally be turned on by it. To each their own. I would not want to date a guy who was judgemental about women (or men) with ink. Although I have no ink of my own, it would be a huge turn-off for me.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

How young is too young? Posted: 5/29/2009 2:18:39 PM
Ok I should state upfront that I am a non-conformist and will certainly not let a guys age be the deciding factor in whether or not I go out with him. I am not asking for "permission" in this thread. I love younger guys, always have and certainly always will. I am just curious to see what others opinions are on the subject of how many younger it is when it starts to seem "weird." Also, how do guys feel about being approached by "older women" (ie. women in their 30's) when they are 18-29? In general, I prefer to be the one approached and part of the reason (but only part) is that I just don't want to come across as some kind of predatory female, or creepy in any way. So I guess it's a two part question: 1) What is considered "normal" age range (just for comparison sake) for dating and 2) Guys when significantly older women hit on you is it creepy or hot?

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 200 (view)

Do women actually exist that date men with kids?? Posted: 5/27/2009 3:25:03 PM
{quote]my wife passed away in october of 07..she was married before we met and she had two children from that marriage..she and i also had two daughters of our own..after she died i took her ex husband to court and was granted custody and guardianship of them...i cant find a decent woman to come into my life and help raise the little girls..why? I think you should put something to this effect in your profile. To the right woman it will be very endearing and it will help to weed out the wrong ones. This says an awful lot about your character, as well as your heart. Don't be afraid to show it.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 134 (view)

Do women actually exist that date men with kids?? Posted: 5/5/2009 2:07:08 PM
Yes, I would. Having 3 kids of my own, I'd rather date a guy who has kids and raises them because he actually understands all that that entails. Also, I don't want any more, so I certainly don't want to date a guy who expects me to give him children. If he already has his own, that is less likely.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Religion and sex in dating Posted: 5/5/2009 2:00:06 PM
For me, spirituality is a personal thing. I can be a Christian and not believe everything that YOU think a Christian believes. It doesn't mean I pick and chose what is convenient for me, it means searching my own soul for the answers that seem right for me. It also doesn't mean I'm perfect. I don't plan to get married just so I can have sex and I also do not plan to be celibate. I do not feel called to be celibate, no matter what others might believe. No one can believe every single word in the bible. There are spots were it contradicts itself and even my fairly conservative united methodist paster admits this. Also, I don't have to agree 100% with everything my church believes to go there. There are Catholics who believe in birth control and who are not against abortion. Regardless of religious orientation, we are all individuals and as such may have personal beliefs that differ with our larger affiliation. that being said, I agree whole heartedly with this statement: "As long as they own up to what they are doing and don't try to get on a moral high horse, I don't really see much of a problem. But the ones that start dictating how others should live while not adhering to the very things they preach should not be taken seriously and should be called out on their crap. "

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 203 (view)

Your first time:Was it memorable or forgetable? Posted: 5/5/2009 1:52:30 PM
Memorable... very memorable. My first kiss was very memorable too. I guess I'm a very lucky girl.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 256 (view)

Would you date a man who wore makeup? Posted: 5/5/2009 1:51:22 PM
People who think like this should be beaten to death. I'd rather date a guy who wears makeup than a guy who's close minded, biggoted and judgemental.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 255 (view)

Would you date a man who wore makeup? Posted: 5/5/2009 1:47:34 PM
Sure. I was once involved with a man who painted his toenails. Some guys look hot with makeup. Not all do though.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

Everyone Wants a Cougar Posted: 5/5/2009 1:36:23 PM
Is this really true? I like younger guys, but I feel like they would think I'm to old for them.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 608 (view)

Slept with 83 people Posted: 5/5/2009 1:26:56 PM
What he should do is 1)stop telling his guy friends something she confided in him about. 2)since she was honest with him, he should be honest with her about his feelings. he should be kind but admit that he has mixed feelings about this information. then they should talk it through. If he's not willing or able to do this, he's not ready to marry anybody. 3) consider how many people he's slept with 4) realize that he is not just a number. women don't think like that (even so called "sluts") If he was just a number, she wouldn't be engaged to him. there are lots of reasons why she might have slept w/ a large number of people. I think it would be much more of a concern if she'd been engaged to 83 people. 5)consider that she is making an effort to be honest and open with him. Considering how easy it is to judge a woman for having sex with 83 partners, he should feel quite honored. 6)since they are engaged, they should go to premarital counciling. If this is a large obstacle, they should definatly discuss this with the counciler. BUT, he really needs to not discuss this with anyone else. One close friend I can understand, but he shouldn't telling all his friends his fiance's personal business. It is a serious breech of intimacy and trust. From the information you gave, it sounds to me like she is a lot more ready for marriage than he is. He loved her enough to ask her to marry her- has he suddenly stopped because he found out something about her that he doesn't like? At the very least he needs to continue to show her respect and decency. ps- I agree w/ the statement about the double standard. A man sleeps w/ 83 partners and he's a stud. A woman does it and she's a slut. It's not a good idea to hold your loved ones to a higher standard than you are willing to follow yourself. pps- about numbers- you should never ask and you should never tell (unless you are are a virgin or possibly if you've only had sex w/ one other person.)

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

I am far too needy Posted: 1/8/2009 1:25:35 PM
the only thing you can do is get some therapy. There is no shame. It's really important that you work these issues out, because you can actually bend over backwards letting guys get away with treeting you badly because you feel like you are being "needy" when in fact, we all have needs that must be met in order for a relationship to be healthy. You should talk to someone about issues of abandonment, healthy and unhealthy ways of getting your needs met in relatioshionships, and especially boundaries. If you do nothing you will end up feeling miserable and unloved and possibly emotionally abused and neglected. Your partner will pick up on your weekness and even a valid complaint will leave you questioning yourself when a no good dirty dog tells you that you are being too needy or clingy.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 1436 (view)

can non-pot smokers handle pot smokers? Posted: 1/8/2009 12:59:09 PM
yeah, well bipolar poeple are unpleasant without their meds too. and people are unplesant when they haven't had enough food or sleep. a crutch isn't a bad thing in and of itself. sometimes you need a crutch. it's when you continue to rely on it when you could be doing better without it that it's a problem. I know people who pretty much need it to be functional and pleasant and it's not because they are addicted, it's because it really is the best medication for what ails them. Plenty of people have anxiety & other issues that don't result from previous pot use, and the best perscription isn't always the legal one who's side effects are half a page long and cost more than a months grocery bills.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 1435 (view)

can non-pot smokers handle pot smokers? Posted: 1/8/2009 12:46:54 PM
??????? Really? YOu would really expect someone to post YES on the question "Do you do drugs?" on the internet? I'd prefer a pot smoker who was smart enough NOT to blantantly post their illegal activities on the net. Also, I think some poeple don't consider "pot" to be a drug.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

This ruined my day,,,,,,, Posted: 1/8/2009 12:13:35 PM
definatly don't let it ruin your day! I looked at your profile and I have to dissagree w/ a bunch of people here. I think you are "average" in size. Your a very curvy woman and I don't think you have "a few extra pounds." Your curves are perfect and beautiful and all in the right places. I figure that I would give you my dissenting minority opinion on this. I have to wonder what is "average" if you are not? Average must mean a stick straight girl or one who is slender. IMO, my own figure is "a few extra pounds" but maybe I am underestimating myself as well. I'm a size 12 and have a bit of a belly, but I guess size 12 is the new size 22! Most of the women I see ever day are either quite skinny or much heavier than me, so I know that I am not at either extreme. (anymore, at 21 I was a itty bitty size 4/5 but 5 is probably the new 12 anyway). Personally I just do not agree that curvy hips and breasts equal "a few extra pounds." There are bigger girls who have curves too, but from your pics I really don't see you that way. You look like absolutely the right size for yourself, therefore, you do not, in my opinion, have any "extra" pounds. (extra would imply that they were superfluous, or undesired and that you might want to get rid of them... I don't see any pounds that you should have want to part with) just my 2cents

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 305 (view)

Do men realy think that blonds are more attractive? Posted: 1/8/2009 11:28:16 AM
Most people think that most people are just like them and/or think like them. It's actually a pretty good test of what someone is like. Ever notice the guy on the news who's being called a hero for rescuing a small animal from a burning building or returning $500 he found on the side of the road. He always says something like, "Anybody would have done the same thing." It works both ways- Guys who are sleezy tend to think that everyone else is sleezy too.

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 106 (view)

Being in The Right League Posted: 1/8/2009 10:46:47 AM
suppose you like her and she likes you but you can tell right off the bat that she would never feel comfortable introducing you to her parents or her friends?

boho_bookworm

Joined: 12/6/2008

Msg: 105 (view)

Being in The Right League Posted: 1/8/2009 10:44:50 AM
It's possible that's what it means. But there is another side to this. Have you ever seen the movie "Dirty Dancing"? While some people may not think that there are leagues, and may date a variety of people, there are people who think they are leagues and date UNDER their league for less than admirable purposes. NOBODY wants to feel like the person they are with is with them because they are "slumming." In other words, just using them for a good time until something more exceptable comes along. the girl who refused to date a guy she thought was "out of her leauge" MIGHT have had enough self esteem and worth not to be someones "goodtime girl." Ever hear the phrase, "Someone to bring home to mamma."? Or as Rick James said in Superfreak, "the kind you don't bring home to mamma." Then there are also poeple who think along these lines, "there are black/white/hispanic girls that you date/fool around with/sleep with and then there's the ("respectable") girl of your own race/social class that you settle down with." A lot of men will sleep with pretty much any woman, it doesn't mean he's proud to be seen with her in public. You might not call it leagues. You might call it something else, but it's all the same. Even if you call it "comfort zone" it's the same thing. To say, "there's no such thing as leagues" and then to say, "everyone has their own comfort zones" is to contradict yourself. Your saying the same thing with different terminology. This woman may have learned that there are good reasons not to date out of her "League" whether that be her own comfort level or her perception of the man's intentions or something else all together. Maybe she thought to herself, if things got serious, his lifestyle is just not one that I would want for myself. Therefore, he is out of my league or in a different league. It may or may not mean that she thinks that he is "better than her" but not neccessarily so. I think that there is a lot to this league thing, and even if you do not subscribe to it, or even think it is snobbish or whatever else, doesn't mean that others are as openminded as you. I think a woman is wise to avoid putting herself in a position where she feels she has a very high likelihood of being hurt. The test of this would be, as dr phil likes to say, "how is this working for you." Perhaps it works well for her to date "within her league." That doesn't mean she dates losers, she just perhaps wants someone who's not quite so "slick and perfect." I'd also like to add, that I can often tell when I meet a guy which of us is going to end up hurting the other. Perhaps she simply senced that it wasn't a match, even though it looked good "on paper."

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