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 Author Thread: a good profile?
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
a good profile?
Posted: 11/2/2010 3:32:39 AM
Put a little effort into the grammer. Capitalize the first word in a sentence and the
"i"'s.

I wouldn't even give you a 2nd look because to me it doesnt' seem like you can even put effort into your profile and that just looks lazy to me.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/15/2010 8:46:15 AM
Yes I agree it is from something else. I think it's another failed relationship and another rejection.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/14/2010 11:54:34 AM

Why do you feel a desire to hurt him?


I don't mean actually hurt him physically, I'm upset how he can move on that fast, I just wanted him to feel the pain he made me feel.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/14/2010 11:53:10 AM
Mine isn't active and searchable. I tried for a day, but took it down.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/14/2010 5:20:25 AM
Thank you. I know I probably do need some help, I am not someone who goes on drugs to try and dull pain though and my insurance doesn't cover therapy I don't think.

I have very low self esteem issues, I got out of an abusive relationship before this one, where he really brought me down, got into this one quick and failed. I know I need to be single for a while and figure myself out- hence why I got a foster cat to keep me company instead of human form.

Do you have any good book recommendations?
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/14/2010 5:03:42 AM
Are you crazy?? You seem to be pulling things out of the air. Or are you always this negative and trying to bring people down? I think you need help before you can offer anyone else suggestions. I'm looking for HELP not someone to bring me down more and shove my face in my mistakes.


I know I made a mistake... duh! I know I did lots wrong. I'm not nieve. I was asking for things to help me cope.

Of course I'm not playing victim role, I am standing up for myself saying that I did not use him like someone implied.

I was not snooping for him online, I went on POF and look who happend to be one of my nearby matches and said "IM now", so obviously he put his online.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/13/2010 6:59:12 PM
Thank you ladies for the positive words. Yes I will look back and laugh about this someday. I guess it's a live and learn mistake.


But for the other ones... how can you love someone after knowing them for 3 months?? That's craziness!!! He knew I didn't love him, he didn't love me yet either, was I falling yes, was I there, no... It was a work in progress... like all relationships.

I actually cared more about him than he did about me so unfortunately you're wrong. I was the one that bought everything, I was the one that took care of HIS daughter, I did not use him, I think it was the other way around. I am here asking what to do to get over my hurt, I had my profile online and then I took it down because I was not ready to move on yet and I knew this was unfair to someone else. He was the one that put his back online first, not I.

I'm also not sure where you get that I have a huge ego???
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/13/2010 9:07:42 AM
I'm not sure what details your searching for?

His longest relationship after the divorce(finalized a year ago) was about 3 months. I moved in with him because my roomate decided to sell the house we lived in so I needed a place to go and figured aahh what the heck.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Already back here
Posted: 10/13/2010 6:06:52 AM
So, my ex and I moved extremely fast and I moved in with him around 2.5 months of meeting him, and 2 days after I moved in he wanted me out. I lived with him for about a week and things were fine, he would go from flirting with me to ignoring me. Now, he already has his profile back on here. It hurts, it stings. Did I really mean anything to him, or was it a game? I am just at a loss for words and I'm heart broken. No, I didn't love him, I've only known him a few months, but it still stings that he begged me to move in with him and now I'm out and he doesn't even seem to care.

What is the point of this? How do I move on? I've had my profile back online and then I take it down and then I put it up. I want to hurt him like how he's hurt me, but I can't be that person.

Help. I need some words of wisdom. I have low self esteem issues and this certainly doesn't help.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
So....help!
Posted: 10/12/2010 8:17:49 AM
Done : -)

Thanks!
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
So....help!
Posted: 10/12/2010 6:44:26 AM
Thank's I'll crop it! =)
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So....help!
Posted: 10/12/2010 4:14:52 AM
Thanks, I waaayyy modified it. I still saved the old, but kind of went a different direction. I will get a full body picture, I don't have one on this computer.

Thanks much!!
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
So....help!
Posted: 10/11/2010 7:08:10 PM
I am just starting this online profile again after a relationship that I'm still trying to figure out. What do I need to modify with my profile? Which pic? What stuff to remove? I know I'm picky...
 Takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Words for the broken hearted...
Posted: 5/18/2009 10:35:02 AM
Excellently written. Very good advice. Thank you!!!
 Takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hmm why?
Posted: 2/19/2009 4:34:19 AM

Absolutely nothing. He is going to be the man that abuses her. Is she really young and naive? When she grows up she will realize this is no real "man", just a boy.

Good luck to you!
 Takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How do I stop?
Posted: 2/17/2009 6:37:48 AM
You're right, it's not that important. It's a ring and some shoes.

I guess I just wanted to yell and scream and tell him what a low life he was and is and how much of a hypocrite he is by being mad at me for wearing a lower cut shirt(by no means trashy) but he can sleep with someone he met at a bar once, and ask how that is okay?? It just stings, and I wanted to blow up at him and say my peace, and make him feel like how he is making me feel. I want to tell him he's almost 40 years old and still goes to bar to hook up with young chicks, how he'll never find anyone to put up with him, and how much of an a** he is.

I don't know I just wanted to yell and scream at him.

I have to let these "friends" go, they are just hurting me more. I was starting to be okay, now I feel back at square 1. Man I hate this so bad.

Once again, I thank you all for helping me get through this! **Hugs**
 Takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Trouble getting over the 'Emotional Abuser' ...
Posted: 2/17/2009 4:38:27 AM
OP- I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone. I am dealing with the same man.

kebemik -- you are amazing at advice, I just wanted you to know you described my situation exactly, and thank you!


**Hugs**
 Takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How do I stop?
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:53:06 AM
Thanks everyone I am going to "Print Screen" this page and save it and read it all the time.

I was set back majorly last night. One of the "Drama" people that told me he was at the bar on Valentines Day, just had to tell me today that he went home with some chick on Valentines day. Now this is a guy who thought you were a slut if you had some cleavege showing. That just killed me last night when I was told that. I layed there and cried all night. I actually called him twice, just to get my stuff back and I wanted to SCREAM bloody murder at him... and I'm not really sure why... maybe I thought at the time it would feel good to "let him have it".... when now that I think about it he's really done nothing wrong, but it still stings me. Makes me feel like a piece of dirt.
Now, I'm sure he's thinking he has control again... because I made the first effort to contact.... AGAIN!

Drrr.. thanks everyone for listening to my vent. =) I actually had to call my Mom last night... bawling... AGAIN!
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do I stop?
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:00:22 PM
Thanks everyone for your advice. I know I need to move on. I really do know this, it's just so darn hard and seems soooo impossible.


In regards of the friends calling me, I really don't want to hear about him. I try to tell them this and it just doesn't seem to work. They are back stabbers, who I can't seem to confide in because I fear they are telling him everything I say which only seems to give him more power. I have made the decision to cut all ties with these people. Is this okay, or does it seem childish? I know I need to cut all ties, but don't feel I can do it with these people in my life.

Thanks again everyone.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How do I stop?
Posted: 2/15/2009 4:19:21 PM
How do I stop myself from driving by his house to see if another car is there, or checking his Match.com profile page to see if he's been on lately, or checking my phone every 10 minutes to see if he's called?

He and I were never really "official", he was one of those guys who it was okay for him to go on dates and do things, but if I did I got drilled. I sit at home now and cry because I miss him so much and wonder what he's doing and who he's with. I hate it so bad. I don't know many people here, so it's not like I can just hang out with friends, and the few I did have were his friends too and have not turned into dramatic people who call me and tell me where he is and who he's with and what he did and it all starts over again. We've only been not speaking to each other for a week, but this has been so hard. I hate sitting here thinking about him. It kills. I just want to know how I stop "caring"... is that even possible? He was like my best friend I spent every day with, and now I feel like I never was anything to him. I feel like I never really mattered.

We go through this cycle like every couple months and eventually end up talking after a month or so, but this time I don't know if I want to be back with him unless he can commit to me. I'm not sure if it's his age that is causing this or what. He's 39 and I'm 25. He would always say these sly little hurtful remarks which hurt really bad. I know have no self-esteem and just feel like the dirt beneath his feet, but I can't stop thinking about him.

Thanks.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ok I have changed my profile give me input.
Posted: 2/13/2009 11:18:47 AM
I personally am not fond of it. I don't want someone to sell me who they are, I'd rather you tell me in normal form. If that makes sense. You do sound too much like a telemarketer, and we all know we ignore them and they all lie! LOL!

Good Luck!
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Need some help here...
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:21:40 AM
I really liked your profile, it's straight to the point, kind of like mine. I think alot of men are scared by strong independent women. There is nothing you can do to change that. You wrote in your profile who you are, and that's just who you are and you can't change that.

Best of luck and be strong, don't change for anyone!

-K
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:14:26 AM
Personally and this is ONLY my opinion. Your name screams immature, especially for a 44 year old man.

Next, I only got to the first paragraph and already had to close the screen. I think a man should make the first contact, and you're making yourself sound like a little kid stomping your foot saying " I don't wanna, and you can't make me".

That's all the farther I got and just thought I'd throw my opinion in there.

Good luck though!!

-K
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
When was your last broken heart?
Posted: 2/12/2009 5:02:41 PM
Saturday Feb. 7th, 2009.


Another big and leaves me nonstop.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Do I come across... mean??
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:39:16 PM
Oh, and I did change my profile pic!
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do I come across... mean??
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:35:56 PM
Sorry, if something come across as "too much" but I won't be taking them out.

However, I did take out the spelling / grammar thing, I know I'm not perfect. Someone who can't spell or uses things like "ur" or stupid abreviations are a major turn off to me though.
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Do I come across... mean??
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:03:36 PM
Wow. Thanks everyone! That's sure a good thing to hear!

Good luck to you all! =)
 takechances01
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do I come across... mean??
Posted: 2/10/2009 5:15:25 PM
I'm just wondering if my profile comes across as mean, or bit&hy, because I am so upfront on what I want or am I just that ugly that nobody will message me? lol.

What should I change?

Thanks everyone!
 
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