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 Author Thread: Does it matter if he lies about his age
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 530 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 2:41:03 PM
Well, again, danimal, whatever floats your own personal boat. I'm six years older than my guy and didn't feel the need to round down by even a couple of years in order to elicit interest, nor did he feel the need to round up. My own personal choice is to use clues of honesty in small things as a barometer for what I would likely encounter for bigger issues. It seems to work for me because I haven't gone through strings of men by overlooking what, to me, is a sign of potential future conflict in the area of honesty when it comes to fabricated age or anything else that gives me pause when determining an individual's integrity.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 523 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:55:06 PM
aha!! boo wears hats to hide the horns!! I knew there was more to them than just being pretty!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 520 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:24:36 PM

This whole topic begs the 'men are more forgiving' thingy.


...and then they show up as a demidar later on...lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 517 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:08:48 PM

Zactly. Lies of omission. Burying hindrances to a relationship under the guise of, "Well, they didn't ask - so I didn't lie about it."


I don't go into relationships all batty eyed and innocent and do broach such things as any addictions, finances, medications and such - and "little" lies like age. It's deliberate deception. If you ask the questions and observe things that don't add up, you don't even have to ask direct questions. Maybe I'm just observant and don't wind up getting "burned" as easy as some who believe they can "fix" the person along the way.


Minor problems on vehicles that turn into major ones happen because of ignoring the problem and NOT dealing with the issue when it's not so 'significant'.


In other words, you'll buy absolutely ANY vehicle on the market, even though some makes and models are known for their inherent problems and believe you can keep "fixing" them along the way, knowing ahead of time they will likely develop those problems and you'll wind up getting rid of it? I don't buy things that way.


Used vehicles always have a myriad of things 'wrong' with them, but if a dealer advertised it as a 2007 model instead of 2005, how significant is that compared to the true condition of the car?


Hey, who am I to argue if you will buy a vehicle that's listed as a 2007 but you later find out it's actually a 2005 and you are paying the added price both at the beginning and during the time you own the vehicle because of the deception. I wouldn't continue owning a vehicle under those conditions. It's called truth in advertising, and isn't revealing your age when looking for a relationship the same thing? If you have no problem with it, all the power to you, but don't complain about the problems that arise because it started out as no big deal to you.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 511 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 12:15:08 PM

Refusing the opportunity to try something or someone new - prevents the chance of a 'bad' choice ever being made.


I dunno, but I believe at my age that experience tells me that, human nature being what it is, if I have the choice between someone who starts out with a lie that's insignificant and unnecessary that the chances are far greater that bigger issues will be lied about. Why would I want to waste my time, knowing how the odds are stacked?

Using the above quoted example, would you buy a model of car over and over again if it had a "minor" problem to start with that consistently turned into major problems? It's not trying something new if you're making the same bad choice based on past experiences with that type of car. It may well be a new car but the performance winds up being consistently the same. Or, would you be pleased about buying a vehicle if the odometer was turned back 500,000 kilometers/miles? The vehicle may seem alright on site but it would soon start showing costly inconsistencies because of it's true mileage.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Will the 6 officers charged in the death of Freddie Gray ... really go to jail?
Posted: 5/1/2015 11:16:47 AM
I don't think all 6 will go to jail or if they do, they won't receive the maximum sentences, but I do believe the one with the most charges definitely will and it won't be a short sentence. An example will have to be made that speaks loud and clear to both police officers and citizens that this type of behaviour has consequences and will no longer be tolerated and brushed under the rug as it has in the past.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 504 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 10:55:11 AM

If she lies about her age by a year or two because she doesn't want to be stereotyped or whatever THAT is just a teensy weensy bit more forgiveable and I don't have the mindset of " a lie is a lie and now go to hell scumbag "


I don't have a go to hell scumbag attitude about the lie is a lie thing when it comes to age...to start with. But I definitely have found that those who do it tend to lie about the more important things even more...as per the guy I knew who was five years older. Lying simply came easy to him and the first lie was about his age. It seems to be an easy pattern and with the lie about age, then they wind up having to lie about other things as well to keep the lie going, so it feeds off itself and doesn't usually stop until they are confronted with the inconsistencies caused by it. I can do without all the pretence and prefer to deal with reality.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 502 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 10:33:33 AM

Haven't you seen those old 'Candid Camera' videos (or 20/20 I can't recall) where they showed kids as small as THREE years old taking a toy or a cookie on a hidden camera video and lying about how they got it?


Kids at the age of three years old don't understand the concept yet of what a lie is, so it's n/a.

I believe the only time a lie is warranted is to spare someone's hurt feelings when the truth wouldn't make a difference. For instance, I can't imagine some unattractive man or woman getting themselves all done up for an occasion of some kind, asking you how you thought they look and you say, "Nope, you still looking pretty damned bad, just better." I don't see the point in an adult lying about their age - your "best before date" is your best before date, no matter how you like to slice and dice it. If your exterior looks younger, it doesn't mean your interior is holding up as well. I knew a guy who said he was 5 years younger, could get away with it externally, but had all kinds of age related physical issues.

I suppose what bothers me most about it is if stupid little stuff like age is lied about with no qualms, I would wonder if anything else that's of a more important nature would have lies falling off their tongue just as easily.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 448 (view)
 
astrology and potential mate
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:55:37 AM
^^^ thought you'd catch that...lol We should all post some oldies just for fun - have a "post an old picture" day or sumpin'. Wonder if astrology could have predicted our changes (had to say something remotely associated with the thread).
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 446 (view)
 
astrology and potential mate
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:36:21 AM
^^^ That's a cute new picture!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 444 (view)
 
astrology and potential mate
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:26:08 AM

, nothing will save you if his Saturn/Pluto midpoint is sitting on your Moon, for instance.


A car and a cartoon dog sitting on my moon??...good thing I have a big enough moon to accommodate both at the same time! Yup...sounds like this astrology stuff can get pretty kinky, alright!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Online dating losing its charm
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:01:29 AM

^^^^^ I saw that the thread was deleted by event moderator. People are dropping like flies.


Yes, interesting that the thread in question disappeared shortly after HS disappeared. So many scenarios can be drawn from it. She could have attempted to report piggy, and once the mod read it, got rid of both her and the thread; others could have reported her; she could have requested that the thread be deleted and decided to leave of her own accord; maybe she's in tight with mods as she alluded to or even is one and they mutually decided to handle it that way... Who has the finger print kit??!! We want the facts and nuthin' but the facts! Get on the case and report back...enquiring minds want to know!!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/30/2015 1:20:22 PM

So you can openly debate same-sex marriage in Canada without consequences, providing you keep the debate or written wording civil.


Correct - we can't promote hate and discrimination within a debate in a manner that will cause or promote (real) harm to an individual or group. For the writer of the article you provided a link to to say that in Canada we couldn't even have this debate that is taking place in the United States is ludicrous. At that, in order for charges to be laid, a case proven before the governing body - it's not a case of speech police hiding around every corner and people being thrown in jail or receiving fines left, right and centre, at the drop of a hat.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/30/2015 12:45:18 PM
In Canada you can debate whatever you wish. We have freedom of speech. Of more importance, what we have is freedom FROM hate speech which is designed to be vicious and dehumanizing and which is entirely different from civilized debate. The Canadian Human Rights Act prohibits DISCRIMINATION based on "race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status, disability and conviction for which a pardon has been granted." Each province also has it's own set of legislation dealing with human rights.

I disagree with a number of statements made in the article posted by the writer in the link to "The Public Discourse" but I'm not interested in debating about an article written by an individual who doesn't get basic facts straight before posting. If they can't get the above straight, much of the rest of what they have to say becomes less believable objectively as a whole and is more a subjective personal opinion - not fact.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/30/2015 9:02:37 AM

well then I guess that makes you a bigot too :) Funny to see all of you call people bigots and homophobe and what not, while openly expressing your own hatred and bigotry towards people who don't agree with you..you epitomize bigotry..


It's one thing to express likes and dislikes...it's another to ACT on them to the detriment of individuals or groups of people. Because I dislike/hate bigots, doesn't mean I would agree that a bake shop should have the right to not sell a cake to a bigot. I'm not unfair in my dislike of bigots - I don't refuse to accept them. If one wanted to be a client of mine, I wouldn't refuse their business because they are a bigot. In the event you are unfamiliar with the real definition of the word, I invite you to review the definition from the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

"bigot
noun big·ot \ˈbi-gət\
: a person who strongly and UNFAIRLY dislikes other people, ideas, etc. : a bigoted person; ESPECIALLY : a person who hates or REFUSES TO ACCEPT the members of a particular group (such as a racial or religious group)"

Which also goes to the heart of this particular thread. Refusing to legalize gay marriage that holds no harm to other individuals in society is bigoted.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/30/2015 8:16:51 AM

That baker could not adhere to their convictions concerning partaking of something they find to be repulsive.


The baker was not being asked to "partake" of anything same-sex related, which is something he found to be repulsive and which is his right to be repulsed by. It wasn't a sex shop, it was a bake shop. The bake shop owner wasn't being pressed to convert to any sexual lifestyle that repulsed him. It's none of his business, literally - it has absolutely nothing to do with his business. In fact, his bigoted stance has likely done more to harm his business than if he practiced tolerance.

Now let's turn the tables and say that no bigots can marry, be served, shop or live their lives like anyone else. How do you think you would fare, forumreader? Bigots such as yourself are wanting people to believe as you do - gay people aren't asking ANYone to believe as they do or live their life as they do - they just simply want to live their lives. Being gay isn't an infectious disease that you can catch.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/29/2015 10:34:42 AM

Too often we only hear the voices of those who are advocating for whatever cause and we ignore the impact the things be advocating for may have on children or those who have no voice of their own..

Re the above statement, heterosexuals should not be allowed to marry either then, given the extremely high incidence of broken families where children are fought over and used in manipulation tactics, never mind the high number of children with only one parent who raises them because the other parent chooses to be absent or is absent through death or any other scenario. Because there are same sex couples, does not mean unequivocally that children are being deprived daily of one gender influence any more than any other heterosexual couple who procreate. Having said that, marriage does not automatically require offspring and this thread is about gay marriage, not whether or not gay individuals should be allowed to have children.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 4/29/2015 9:38:29 AM

Actually I have changed my mind and I am all for gay marriage with one stipulation. As soon as gay men get married they should be chemically castrated. Which means they can't sneak out the back door and have sex with a Woman and spread their mental disorder throughout the community.


Now, now; where would the human race be with an attitude like that, being that it is heterosexuals who are predominantly the ones producing gay offspring? Off with everyone's head, starting with the above poster!!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/27/2015 3:08:35 PM
Oh dear, Boo. As Dee says, it's the problem of the person with the, well, problem. Hopefully there are enough people who'll be in attendance that you get to keep your distance other than a hello and a smile (as the "bigger dog" in the equation) if you have no alternative but to be in close enough proximity. Maybe she/they will surprise you for a change and you will have worried for no reason.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Families Sleeping Together....
Posted: 4/27/2015 11:23:47 AM
Maybe he sleeps on the floor because he's afraid they will all slip out in the middle of the night and this way he can monitor their movements more closely. Maybe she had them all sleep in the same bed because she was afraid of him slipping out to the girls' rooms in the middle of then night and she could monitor his movements more closely. Who knows. You're never going to know the whole story of another couple's dynamics because you'll never get the whole story or a true story from just the one individual's perspective or version of the truth.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 477 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/27/2015 10:42:43 AM

...the men, along with their age-old role as providers, are the protectors of their women and their children.


Perhaps the poster (whom my mind simply refers to as MCP) has made himself persona non grata, as he has no one to provide for or to protect and it's really at the heart of his ramblings. Or, his prehistoric DNA *snickers* isn't serving it's "purpose" and he's all confoozled. He can't help that his genetics haven't evolved with the majority of society...tsk tsk...must be some genetic abnormality...probably has a functioning appendix and wisdom teeth too.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 390 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/24/2015 6:11:36 PM

What if it's the guys house/residence and his lady love (or even some other non-relational woman) is visiting: shouldn't she lift the toilet seat to an upright position, if that's how she found it, after she does her business? Where is it universally understood that the toilet seat MUST remain in or return to a horizontal position? Think about it, for a guy how many times a day are we gonna want the seat up v. preference/need for the seat down?


I've heard that a flushing toilet has some overspray and that the lid should be closed when flushing to contain the droplets...but...when you consider a guy standing sprays all over the place and prefers the seat be left up, I vote that we women start to straddle the men's toilets when we visit their bathrooms cuz they apparently like that kinda mess to clean up. Do men not sit to pee when there are no urinals because the water's so deep and cold *snickers* or is it because it just takes soooooo much time to lower their pants and pull them back up? If they could have sex as often as they use the bathroom, would they only unzip? Enquiring minds want to know...
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 420 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:12:37 PM

And there's that tired old line again that is meant to slap at people hoping to make them feel inferior...


Exactly!

That's like saying that because someone at 54, who calls themselves a "Playa", is single (inferring never married), has no children and has only been in relationship(s) lasting no longer than three years is inferior because they have no personal experience to base their diatribe on...or it could well mean that this same person jumps to conclusions without any basis for doing so, draws inferences in an argument that are not there . . and is plain ornery for the sake of being ornery and its not hard to see why they were too difficult to get along with to maintain a relationship longer than three years and use the self-described term of "player" to rationalize why they have never been in in relationships of any longevity.

Quite simply, there could by a myriad of other reasons which no one is privy to unless they have lived in the other person's shoes to know all of the complexities of all of the different relationships. It's like convicting and sentencing a person without knowing the facts of a case. It's something a lot of people with a superiority complex suffer from and because of that complex, they can't or won't acknowledge they suffer from it.

Edit:
vvv The point is, you may be in the position you are relationship-wise (player) for any number of reasons just as people get divorces for any number of reasons that you aren't privy to but you draw your conclusions nonetheless with a super broad brush. Some people, yes, can get along just fine feeling superior....doesn't mean they are superior.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:20:27 PM

Anyone have a tissue?


At first I read that as "anyone have an issue" and I thought, whoa...she has a tough side too!!...lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 11:56:17 AM
How do you feel about the opposite sex crying? I'm not the crying type myself but I understand my emotional makeup is just that...mine. It's not that I force myself to hold it back, it just takes extreme circumstances or in empathy for someone else's horrible plight or extreme happiness to make tears appear or sobs for that matter. I've been known, for instance to sob at funerals for someone I didn't know at all.

Men I have had relationships with post divorce seem to be far easier to cry than what I had experienced up to that point in my life, whether it was friends, relatives, my kids or my spouse. Perhaps I just made them feel safe enough with me that they could let it go?? Do you think a lot of people have developed an ability to cry at will to tip the scales of things in their favour or is it a case that people feel freer to let their emotions show? Like road rage but the opposite...lol

I had one guy have tears spill over so often over the most trivial of things (good or bad) that I had a discussion with him about it. It actually wound up being a ploy that he admitted to. Thinking of this, I was wondering what other people's experiences are, and do you know enough about yourself to be able to answer honestly if you are a crier - do you use fake crocodile tears for certain situations or is it a case of it just being a part of your emotional makeup?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
GMO Foods & Dr. Oz Latest Controversy
Posted: 4/24/2015 11:23:16 AM

I actually want GMO labels on my food. I also want to know where my food came from - I don't want food grown in human waste in China but packaged in Canada and now the product is "Canadian". Bullshyt. I want to know the source. I want the food producers and manufacturers to tell me the truth. I don't think that is too much to ask.


That's precisely the point. I want to make an informed decision about what's offered out there. Even if they don't go into great detail in labelling and I can go to a website that explains the process legitimately, I can make a decision based on that. Just put GMO on it and I'll go from there if I'm curious. If I had the time and the climate, I'd make more of an effort to produce all my own food year round. It's why I make most meals from scratch - bad enough that what I'm cooking with has already been altered - I don't need to compound it with even more artificial preservatives of prepackaged foods.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 393 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:09:24 PM
I dunno, I find that different experiences and interacting with different people cause me to continually learn about myself, even at my age. I certainly didn't know all about myself at 48 when I split with my ex and it was an enlightening experience. Even hearing of others' experiences here causes me to rethink some things about myself; so, it may be true for some people that they figure they've learned all about themselves and have no need to be further enlightened, but it's not true in my case.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 231 (view)
 
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 2:40:04 PM

He said " I am so happy to have met you. It's nice to find a person who can actually teach me something, for once!"
LMAO! He obviously goes through life believing he's the smartest guy in the room--every room. I was turned off by two things: the fact that he wasn't that bright and the fact that he thought he was! LOL


I know what you're getting at but, sometimes, it's just a matter of interpretation (unless you outright ask a person to explain what they mean) - he may have also meant that he was glad to have found someone who wasn't as dumb as a doorknob for a change, rather than it meaning he thought he deserved to be in Mensa. There were probably other things, however, that led you to believe that he wasn't all that bright, beyond this one incident. It goes right back to the thread topic, though - people assuming they know what someone else means by "need" or "want" or a mixture of both, without asking - an attempt at communication to find out.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
GMO Foods & Dr. Oz Latest Controversy
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:36:29 PM
I'm just in the middle of watching Dr. Oz go after 10 doctors who are attempting to besmirch him. A number of them have a conflict of interest in that they have ties to GMO companies, etc. Here's a link to the basis of the controversy:
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/apr/22/dr-oz-respond-doctors-dismissal-quack-treatments

My questions: Who do you agree with? Do you believe it's the right of the public to insist that GMO foods be labelled as such in order that we can make an informed decision about that we chose to ingest? Do you believe or not believe that GMO foods are responsible for either a rise in the instances of certain ailments or the cause of new ones? Do you believe that GMO foods lose nutritional quality? (An example would be changing the DNA of the arctic apple so the interior flesh does not turn brown after being cut into in order to make it more visually appealing.)
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Should polygamy be legal?
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:30:31 AM

Guys have been complaining for quite a while about being taken to the cleaners in a divorce and being financially destitute. Imagine what would happen if polygamy was legal and 2 or 3 women among the harem decided to get a divorce, and each of them wants at least half of everything.


From what I read and see, it seems that a large number of the women work outside of the home - it's not a case of the man being a sole provider for all the wives. He may well be the destitute one if they left him, not because he winds up supporting them afterwards but because they were a bigger support to each other financially than he could even be to just one of them.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/22/2015 2:25:00 PM



Can a person consent to sex with Demida

What I read too.. Funny
Don't think it was our eyes that put that in our heads tho MO.


This must be why there's been no vote off the POF island after all this time - too great a source of humour to let go of.


vvv Oh no! That's too bad! I think most people were getting used to him and finding some humour with his posts. I'm with you - I don't see the need to vote off unless something's bordering on criminal or pointed harassment of an individual, like a stalker.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/22/2015 11:57:43 AM
Some interesting facts on rape convictions in this link: https://rainn.org/news-room/97-of-every-100-rapists-receive-no-punishment

I'm thinking this case won't go anywhere.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/22/2015 10:45:48 AM
Generally, at least in my neck of the woods, it takes a minimum of three physicians to determine and agree on mental faculty or lack thereof, not just one individual. It's a safeguard to prevent abuse and collusion.

As to precedents the doctrine in practical terms is described as follows:

"What the doctrine of precedent declares is that cases must be decided the same way when their material facts are the same. Obviously it does not require that all the facts should be the same. We know that in the flux of life all the facts of a case will never recur, but the legally material facts may recur and it is with these that the doctrine is concerned.

The ratio decidendi [reason of deciding] of a case can be defined as the material facts of the case plus the decision thereon. The same learned author who advanced this definition went on to suggest a helpful formula. Suppose that in a certain case facts A, B and C exist, and suppose that the COURT finds that facts B and C are material and fact A immaterial, and then reaches conclusion X (e.g. judgment for the plaintiff, or judgment for the defendant). Then the doctrine of precedent enables us to say that in ANY FUTURE CASE in which facts B and C exist, or in which facts A and B and C exist the conclusion must be X. If in a future case A, B, C, and D exist, and the fact D is held to be material, the first case will not be a direct authority, though it may be of value as an analogy."

There are jurisdictional variances.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/22/2015 10:06:19 AM

Trial judges do not make law by their opinions.

No, they don't make "law" by their opinions but their decisions are used by others as case law precedent in future case decisions. If such were not true, then in my line of work, case law research wouldn't be needed.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:50:44 AM
Well, I dunno Vicki, but it made me laugh too when I read it. Sounds like he wasn't exactly being appropriate where your kids were concerned so it's kind of a reap what you sough sort of thing. The up side is that not only do you or your kids not have to contend with her, but neither does he. Win/win all the way around in the end.

Another good laugh, Dreamypig (I've settled on that one for the moment).

vvv Smart man of action!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 147 (view)
 
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:44:07 AM
You sound much like me, Shakti. It's why my situation of being in a relationship of 10 years but not living together works wonderful for me. Great when you find someone like-minded, and isn't that the point - to find someone who you aren't trying to make fit like a square peg in a round hole?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:37:28 AM
Guess I should post one of my own!

It was only a couple of months after I moved to my own place and I was busy trying to start my own life after being coupled for 35 years. Both of my kids were just over 18 and doing their own thing. One day I go to my mailbox at the front door to take out the paper and I notice this envelope stuck in the bottom. I obviously hadn't noticed it before in it's location because the date on it was approximately three weeks prior. The letter was from my ex's girlfriend stating that I was some kind of issue coming between my ex and the kids. wtf!!?? I hadn't even seen much of my kids because one was living on their own and the other one might as well have been because she was always out doing her own thing. Needless to say, I was shocked and bewildered. What I settled on doing was just to send the letter to my ex via mail with a one liner simply saying, "Take care of it before it comes to the point where I have to." Never found any more letters in my mail box.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:14:24 AM
omfg, Hearton...that's a horrible ending to an extremely good start.

It's surprising what misplaced guilt/blame can do. The daughter could have come to the same unfortunate demise while the parents were home and it would still be no one's "fault".

gto - at this stage in the forums, I don't think it really matters if it's an exact response to the thread topic - all responses are welcome at this point so long as it deviates from what has been becoming the norm around here...lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:54:13 AM
Ya, that may be true for you (do I call your piggy or dreamy?), but I'm thinking more about people who either have to have interaction because of kids or because a new partner to your ex is simply a weirdo in their behaviour even though you've left your ex's in the past and they pop up. Or are there any scenarios to be shared where they exhibited wonderful behaviour.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:45:21 AM
As new threads have taken a slow down, I've been wracking my brain trying to think of something that might have a variety of responses, rather than an either/or sort of response. This could well have been a thread topic before, but I really don't care. Sooooooo....

Anyone want to share humorous (or otherwise) stories of what they've had to encounter with respect to an ex's new spouse or partner (or even those of some longevity) who have attempted to make your life miserable and how you've handled it?

On the flip side, there have to be those instances where the people involved are actually wonderful individuals and those stories would be welcomed too...after all, warm and fuzzies in the forums lately seem to be decidedly lacking.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
China's string of pearls naval theory
Posted: 4/21/2015 3:06:13 PM
China "goes to war" by trading and making money. The US tries to make money by going to war. Who's going to wind up the "winner"?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 106 (view)
 
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 2:34:23 PM

Well, as long as the friendship comes after the romance...LOL. Because the whole "friends first" thing has never worked for me.


I've always found that being enemies first works best, followed by angry sex, then maybe thinking about being friendly so you can get to know each other a bit, then become indifferent, then hate each other and show up on POF, wash, rinse, repeat.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 211 (view)
 
The forum that got away from us
Posted: 4/21/2015 2:11:15 PM
Clooney...are you a middle child by any chance?? lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 206 (view)
 
The forum that got away from us
Posted: 4/21/2015 1:43:34 PM
lmfao...as funny as that is...it seriously works. Even with guys. They learn to expect yelling and crying from past relationships and it throws them way off balance when you say the same things without the noise! Love the reaction.




I have found though if you stand back and do nothing they hit each other for you.


Hilarious! The cat and dog do that for us too - although it takes a yell to get the hit happening. Yell at the dog and the cat beats up the dog. Yell at the cat and the dog roots her with her nose across the floor.

vvv Must say I agree about backgrounds and success. Can it be a little more difficult making the climb up - sure. But it doesn't matter what type of background you come from. There have been plenty of people born into wealthy and educated backgrounds who have turned into big time losers without encouragement from all kinds of sources, but primarily within the family - parent or not.

vvvvWow at post 210. Post 131 would indicate otherwise re not taking a pop - particularly when there was no other posting in the thread up to that point and the first sentence was a direct hit. People do read AND comprehend...for the most part.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 95 (view)
 
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 12:56:44 PM

Any time I see "I don't need a man, I want a man!", I immediately ask myself if this is a woman who's been told she's too needy before. To me, it just comes across as rather defensive.


Who knows. Maybe you just read too much into it based on your own needs, wants and experiences if it's something that you have to immediately ask yourself. Personally, I've been told I don't display enough neediness by some men who I find are too needy themselves. Others I get along famously with who tend to simply go with the flow and enjoy each other's company for the same reasons. It's not my disposition to change who I am to fit someone else's grid - like me or leave me and vice-versa - don't try to change me - I'm certainly not going to try to change you. I simply appreciate men who appreciate me - on a level basis - with neither one of us being too needy or too blaze'. Cling-ons are like eating too much candy. Some sweetness (need) is fine - too much and I get queasy. I suppose it's a case of more independent/less needy v. more dependent/more needy. It really doesn't matter, as long as you are on the same page. Who cares what other people need and want outside of you and the person you're in a relationship with that you mesh with. At any rate, you're not truly going to be able to determine what it means to each individual until you interact with them and make your decision about them subsequently. A few words in a profile can be too subjective/dismissive by the reader.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/21/2015 12:19:03 PM

Same attack style as cow , maybe same person , looks like one person running 3 or 4 profiles .


Nope, sorry, I know it's difficult for your beady demented brain to fathom but there just are THAT many people in THAT many threads who have the same opinion of you that I can see why the number confuses you into thinking it has to be a few select individuals with different profiles.

Truthfully, I think most people find you very amusing in an odd sort of say - at least I do (whether or not that's your intent). I just wish you would come up with some less stale comebacks or be a little less prolific to keep it more lively and play with only those people who have the ability to play back and not pick on innocent "victims" who are unaware of the "game". Hopefully, you ARE attempting to be Rodney Dangerfield-esque and you aren't really as curmudgeonly as you want to portray yourself as. I'd hate to think that the banter (as caustic as it can be) is real to you and causes you any ill health.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Women who look like men - it's getting old
Posted: 4/21/2015 11:48:32 AM

How about that one? I had a fella come up to me in a gay nightclub one time and loudly proclaim that I was the best damn drag queen he'd ever seen!

And try as I might....I still can't figure out whether to be flattered or insulted.... :/


Baahahahaha. You could have a bag over your entire body so no one could tell the difference - your sense of humour is beautiful either way (great looking without a bag, by the way - I'm straight but I can appreciate good looking women). I can count on a laugh every time I see you pop into a thread. Just sayin'.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Can a person consent to sex with Dementia
Posted: 4/21/2015 11:00:31 AM

Yes....His mental state is also going to be taking into consideration.
I also question if the "facility" itself will need to take any responsibility?
[...]
Who's in charge?


You were really still referring to Demindar, weren't you, you sly thing you!


Sure as hell wouldn't consent , do not like using lube on dried up old s_____.


Now, now. That would be the fault of your undesirability, not the fault any woman. Again, not to worry - see above.


These toxic ones are probably just coming to terms with the fact they have hit the so called "wall" and all they have to offer in a relationship (whats between their legs ) just doesn't cut it any more .


Poor sweet demindar. If that's all they have, don't be hating on them because you're lacking even that.


msg 16 : You are of no concern to myself , mowtowncow . Go find another victim , oops I mean man who's life you can turn into a nightmare , like the last one . From now on I just call you cow for short .


Me thinks he doth protest too much. She's either of no concern to you or her actual rejection has turned your life into a nightmare and you feel like a victim. Pick a lane and stay in it. Or do the continual rants have something to do with the beginning stages of dementia - I've heard many display unwarranted anger due to the frustration of knowing they have a problem with their mental acuity. All be warned to steer clear of any sexual interaction because there could well be a consent issue on his part.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 193 (view)
 
The forum that got away from us
Posted: 4/21/2015 10:49:20 AM

Did I say anything about wishing the comment not being discussed????

No, you don't have to. It's a tactic with wording you use with great frequency so you can backpedal at will - case in point. Some get it, some don't. Carry on.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 191 (view)
 
The forum that got away from us
Posted: 4/21/2015 10:20:35 AM

Gto... good one. A "general advice" smack in the middle of a squabble between only two people.


Really?? I thought it was kind of the purpose of the forums. If two people want to go at it without anyone else interjecting in either a general or pointed way, then they should resort to private messaging. Further still, if they don't wish their comments to be discussed, be selective about what you post in the first place. The forums aren't a one-sided bulletin board for individual thought and comment, or the "last word" on a topic.
 
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