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 Author Thread: Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 134 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/29/2015 1:05:31 PM

they have taken jobs away from men and are competing on a day to day basis with men instead of being supportive of men. HOw do women possibly keep their femininity when they are now behaving like men?


This must be at the crux of his rants...that "some" women are making more money than him and his ilk and he perceives they are taking "men's" jobs away. Some of these types of men never stop to consider that the best person for the job is filling it and because it isn't a man it's like itching powder in the shorts of these type of guys.


From the teenage years young girls Laddettes are roaming the streets full of booze, swearing burping, farting, wolf whistling, mooning, shout out rude suggestions to men and it's simply disgusting in every way, but not only that they are wearing next to nothing, so it underlines the decline of modern society beginning at a very young age.


I see, it is being stated that young teenaged "Laddette" girls are growing into women who continue to do these sort of things. When boys do exactly the same thing, they're considered to grow into fine upstanding men? Maybe it's just locational. I don't see that sort of thing here - only on a very rare occasion - which is either a case of poor parenting but more probably peer pressure, not some feminist movement that causes adolescent girls to emulate adolescent boys, who then move on to become masculine women (ffs!).


What makes women attractive is femininity, vulnerability, kindness, politeness, good manners, approach ability, attentiveness, unconfrontational, understanding, caring, happy, unsuperficial, warmhearted and willing to put a man first.


Being kind, polite, with good manners, approachable, attentive, unconfrontational, understanding, caring, happy, not superficial, warm-hearted are qualities that are attractive in both males and females - not strictly female traits. But to be vulnerable? Why on earth should ANYone deliberately want to be helpless, defenseless, powerless, impotent, weak or susceptible in order to be found attractive? As far as putting a man first - I have trouble with this one as well. Ahead of what? I'm sure by the poster it must mean a feminine woman should always take a back seat to a man. It's obvious by his rants that she should have no opinions that differ or she is then termed a feminatzi. If a woman wants to put a man first, and a man wants to puts a woman first, doesn't that average out to equality?...which is something that the poster being quoted seems to be upset with. He wants women to take a back seat to men, which I find entirely unmasculine. The more a man believes in equality, the more confident and strong I believe he is. It's only those who are fearful and weak who have problems with feeling helpless when then cannot dominate and control others.


The problem is that they are brought up in a competitive environment where they are pushed to compete with males and the ones bought up by single moms get the full blow rant about how bad men are and the cycle repeats itself from generation to generation, until one day women all become lesbians that hate men, but that is exactly what the extreme feminists want as they are carpet munchers anyway and hate men with a passion.


How classy, but regardless... The western world is a competitive environment. Women aren't pushed to compete with men - it's a case of they are now allowed to. That some men feel they are shoved out of the way because they may lack abilities is no fault of the women who have filled a position those complainers have been unable to. Men competing with men apparently isn't a problem - why is it a problem when a woman enters the fray and comes out on top? Because it's seen as a double blow to the man who doesn't have the ability and needs to find someone or something else other than himself for his shortfalls?


Wake up people before it's too late and push for change in modern society.

I'll say!! Apparently there are still a few with Neanderthal thinking in our midst - we don't want them gathering steam and attempting to turn the clock back to a time when women weren't thought to have the mental acuity to vote.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:32:37 PM

No not intimidating, but too self reliant and not willing to allow a man to be the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night. It is not weak for women to be feminine and allow a man to hold their heart in his hands, it is not weak to want a man to hold them, to comfort them, to take charge and to be a rock for them, it is not weak to allow a man to bring home the money for them while they look after the home and the children, it is not weak to want a man, to need a man and it is not weak to love a man. Women need to open up and get back in touch with their famine side and get rid of that righteous I am better than a man attitude for relationships to flourish once again in the modern day society.


So switch the words up from "intimidating" to "too self-reliant". Is this to say that men have a problem with women being self-reliant? I don't get the disconnect between being self-reliant and a man thinking because of that she can't think of a man, be feminine, be loved by a man, be held by a man, comforted by a man and have him be a rock for her when it's warranted while providing the same to him. Does this mean that men who are self-reliant cannot do and be all those things for a woman as well by virtue of being self-reliant? Being self-reliant is not a masculine trait alone but apparently there are those men who believe you aren't or can't be feminine if you do have the wherewithal to be self-reliant. I don't think it's a case of women having a righteous attitude of "I'm better than a man", but perhaps is more a case of some men feeling like less of a man when they find they can't control situations as much as they did in the past. Personally, I much prefer a shared existence with a man, not one where there are such defined roles as there were in the past. If a man can't deal with that, it's more his problem (ego) than blaming it on a woman's self-reliance.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 277 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:16:57 PM

And now he took his marbles and isn't coming back.


Fret not, he's still here, but I think his marbles may have left before he even got here. Although I'm not entirely sure of that because he can certainly spin a funny yarn...lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 239 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/28/2015 11:03:44 AM
Ya, don'tcha just hate it when you post about a person and they can read about what a dork you are instead of having to find out firsthand?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:40:35 AM
First of all, you're not a relationship expert, Mr. Beta Male, you're a dating expert in that you have managed to at least get that far. By your own numbers you've averaged anywhere between 25 and 30 dates per year which would mean that you've not had any "long term relationships" in the past 10 years you state you've been on POF.

Secondly, women don't automatically want the guy to be in control in the way that you state. Women like men to take turns making decisions and making moves. If they don't take the initiative themselves, yes, they likely aren't as interested in you as you would like them to be.

It sounds to me like you're jumping all over her in an attempt to please her in an effort to keep her and she's probably finding you a little bit clingy in your attempts to please. You expect her to jump and send a text back to you for instance. People do have lives and although they may think the world of you, it doesn't mean that they drop everything to respond to you instantaneously all the time.

If you don't like what she's doing, communicate that with her - that's part of a relationship. Maybe that's part of your problem. You're so used to operating in dating mode that you really don't understand the relationship aspect of things.

Edit: Ok, so now you say "Yes in my 15 years of so dating I had the pleasure of being in 4 long term relationships that took up 13 of those 15 years."

This means you must have started "dating" at around age 16. What the frick is your definition of a longer term relationship if you've had four of them in 13 years? 3 1/2 years each, most of which were as an adolescent or 20-something, which leaves you with 2 years to have dated 300 people. Yup...still boils down to a guy able to land a date but not having the wherewithal yet to know what it takes to maintain an adult relationship. As I said above...communicate with HER about what you feel is lacking - not the people on a forum - we don't know what her desires are, you will only know that by discussing it with her and fixing your perceived problems.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 233 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/28/2015 9:25:23 AM
It's becoming clearer that the OP is the desperate one by lowering his vehemently stated disqualifiers and feels he has to lie about any number of things in order to obtain a date in the first place. Me thinks it's not just his inability to get out more than two nights a month that is the cause of his desperation. He's quickly determined to be a jerk, as all have determined here, and he can't maintain any form of lasting relationship, so is willing to take what he can get and then attempt to turn it around as though he is he's doing an overweight woman some kind of favour. He seems an obvious troll, but there are any number of weirdoes out there who operate like this, I'm sure.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 225 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/28/2015 8:50:07 AM
Happy Birthday Dee!! :^)

Sorry for your losses, LadyinRed :^(
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 216 (view)
 
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/28/2015 8:32:09 AM
I was thinking it would be great if she was hiding the fact she's a he and he didn't find out until some crucial stage...but then it became apparent that if he's willing to overlook her huge size for the sake of sex, he'd be willing to overlook the fact she's a guy in drag and he'll simply carry on regardless of any aversions in that regard also.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Women and Fake Beauty
Posted: 5/15/2015 4:45:24 PM
Obviously I don't know whether guys would prefer the fake or not, however, what I will say is you shouldn't be doing it for a man/men but for yourself. Too much fake on the outside will also present as too much fake on the inside, one way or another.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Question of the Day
Posted: 5/14/2015 2:03:20 PM
Re intelligence, it depends on how and what you're measuring it by. IQ doesn't necessarily make you emotionally intelligent and there is, in fact, an EQ scale. No one knows everything, no matter how smart they think they are and no one knows absolutely nothing. Where one person may have drawbacks, others may excel in those areas and vice versa. I simply prefer someone who I can relate to easily and we can pick up the slack where the other is lacking. It would be pretty boring if you both knew the same thing about everything.

Re better looking, I would simply say what appeals to me and if that happens to be better or worse looking than me, it really doesn't matter, it's what I find attractive that is the draw, not how they compare to me.

 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 256 (view)
 
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/14/2015 1:01:59 PM

In fact, some people believe that the root cause of the 'depression epidemic' that seems to be sweeping the Western world, is at it's root, simple loneliness and a feeling of being disconnected from our fellow human beings.

...or could it be too MANY successive one night stands, casual sex, FWB that's causing the depression and people believing that simple sex will fix that disconnected feeling, rather than actually having a very connected feeling before sex even enters the picture? I'm not judging one way or the other - sexual contact may be considered a basic human need by many, but what takes us outside of the animal kingdom, I think, is that sex isn't necessarily the "need" but a deeper connection on a different level than casual sex can provide with an individual is the "actual" need. I dunno...I've always had a problem with the use of the words "sex is a need". I've always found the deeper connection outside of sex brings about the desire for the great sex and THEN feeling like you need it because of that connection, not the other way around.

It goes back to those studies of orphanages where the infants and toddlers are kept in conditions without human contact - their need for food and the other basics to keep them alive is there and they are "just" alive. It's the lack of interaction and contact in a meaningful way that is causing their emotional and psychological problems. The contact isn't sexual. That sex is an added layer to the contact as an adult is just that...another layer but not the actual need.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Angry Daters
Posted: 5/14/2015 12:11:17 PM
I, for one, wouldn't be inviting someone to my home on the first few dates and use that as the basis for it then being a man's obligation to pay the expenses of the next date(s). I'd want to find out if he's "quality" based on his personality, not who pays for a meal or who cooks one.

If, I was in a conversation with someone that I was wanting to go out with on a date and it was my suggestion, it was me who footed the bill and I stated as much before even going, unless the guy absolutely insisted otherwise. He invites, he pays. I find that to invite someone on a date and then expect them to pay is like inviting someone to your home for a meal and then expecting them to buy the food and cook it.

No wonder there are angry guys out there thinking that all a woman wants is a free meal if he has to pay over and over and over again. Conversely, it's no wonder there are angry women out there if men feel payment of a meal is compensation for a grope or more over and over and over again.

I didn't expend all kinds of great expense either to get ready to go on a date - I do myself up the same way I would any other time I go out when not on a date, subject to the type of venue, and don't use that as part of the "expense" factor. All I know is I have never been told I'm high maintenance, nor have I had a problem with angry dating partners - in fact, was told it was a refreshing change of pace to the "usual" expectations that a lot of women seem to have and I was never met any expectations when a man invited and paid - go figure. I guess I had some inkling if they were "quality" before I went on the date in the first place.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
How Do Men Bond with Women?
Posted: 5/13/2015 1:39:14 PM
There's too much overthinking going on here in my opinion. How do you bond with anyone?? We'd all be living with our best friends if it wasn't for sex for the purpose of, firstly, procreation and secondly, access to frequent sex. That there is sexual chemistry that happens for both leading up to and during sex is one thing but it's not the sexual chemical kocktails that keep people together in a relationship. It's the commonalities, the caring for and by another person on top of the sexual aspect, making it as complete a package as you can get. People stay in loving relationships without sex for various reasons, even though one or the other may miss it; they stay in the relationship because of the other things that bind them to each other. Sex may seem to seal the deal initially, but it's not sexual chemistry that is THE tie that binds for the long haul.

vvvv I believe you're mistaking what "attracts" with what actually "bonds".
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Taking advice from single people
Posted: 5/13/2015 9:21:13 AM

No one is arguing but you, it's called a question. I asked the validity of the advice on here from single people to other single people who to have success in dating and love. Like you, if you are single and have not landed a long term relationship then there is no advice you can help me with. lol


First, you have to know the success of the relationships of couples while their relationships were good and what made them good at the time. That they failed for some reason is a lesson in what not to do to make a relationship turn bad. If you wish, take advice from people who are in long-term relationships - it's not going to be any kind of measure, though, as to whether or not the relationship is good - just that it has longevity.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Will the 6 officers charged in the death of Freddie Gray ... really go to jail?
Posted: 5/12/2015 1:50:15 PM

Oh, so I'm "arrogant" because i asked this geezer to write in more conventional English (Here, ON A NORTH AMERICAN SITE!), so his points could be better understood & appreciated!

Just when I thought you've reached your nadir of stupidity, you surprise us by kicking it up to new heights!


News flash!! You're posting in the GLOBAL forums, not a "North American site". Perhaps it is you who is best suited to go where YOU have less trouble understanding others....just sayin'.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 5/12/2015 1:32:03 PM

And the issue of course is that most of them aren't terribly sure what they REALLY want out of life.


In the OP's case, it sounds as though he's glomming onto either girls or women with a girl's mentality. If they're "girls" he's getting involved with, that's understandable - most girls don't know what they want out of life and act out accordingly. If it's "women" he's talking about who have had revolving door-type relationships and their self-worth is tied up in always being able to attract the next conquest, he's likely just the next in the string of them.

If he's attracting women who have just come out of relationships, they're likely still trying to find out what it is they want and filling that empty void until they figure themselves out again.

I'd suggest people like the OP attempt to find someone who isn't a young or older party animal, and who has been out of a relationship at least long enough to simmer down and have a clear direction insofar as wanting a long-term relationship instead of him catching them in the crazy period after breakups.

If he figures he's having to treat women like he's a father figure to them, it sounds like he's picking girls and not women and there's likely too big of an age gap. Most of it sounds like it's who he's targeting and the onus is on him to make better choices from the outset instead of attempting to make a square peg fit into his version of a round hole.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
something new to debate--the Sonny test
Posted: 5/8/2015 3:31:36 PM
The only way I delete fudge is by eating it.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 754 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/8/2015 2:54:54 PM
1. That's why I don't date any woman from here. They're all feminazis and gold diggers. I was divorced 21 years ago and every single woman is like my ex.

2. Sock puppet, blah blah blah, sock puppet, blah blah blah, sock puppet, blah blah blah.

3. 50 posts in a row of: Tall IQ must die - stop telling me I'm the crazy one and need to take a break for my own well-being.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/8/2015 12:46:21 PM
lol...I'm out...not considering ever being a wife, never mind a hot one. Strangely enough, this isn't the first time I've heard of this type of desire. I don't begin to know the reason behind the desire and I really don't care - as long as people play safe so as not to harm others, whatever floats your boat!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 745 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/8/2015 12:18:03 PM
re post 754: I certainly can't speak for all older women, only myself. Even though I am in a relationship of an unconventional nature, for me, I'm one of those could take it or leave it sort of women in that, if this relationship should end, I'm at a stage where I simply wouldn't feel the need to go on a "quest" to find a replacement. I don't know where that feeling stems from, other than I'm quite content - but then I've always been comfortable with my own company. I own my own home, have a job that pays my own way, have interests that keep me busy, etc. Having a relationship with a man is nice when it happens, but I don't "need" it as an older woman. When single, I actually found that attitude seemed to draw men to me, rather than push them away - so that's another thing to ponder the why of.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hit on while taken.?
Posted: 5/8/2015 11:08:12 AM
I get what you're saying fullmoonguy. Both men and women are affected by rejection and react in differing ways according to personality. Women are rejected for as many reasons as men are rejected and it's done in different ways. Men may more often be more vocal about blatantly pursuing women, but women use differing tactics to be pursued in the first place. Particularly when younger, when women tend to go out more in larger groups - some in the group are not hit on at all and, therefore, are rejected and feel it, especially when in the company of their friends who are being hit on. Then they go the route as you described in your post. So it seems men may lash out verbally at the object of their desire more often (if they lash out at all), and women kind of lash out at themselves for not being as desirable as their counterparts by seeking to change their outward appearance in a more extreme way than men might.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 257 (view)
 
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/8/2015 9:32:56 AM
@ crookcatcher - baaahahahaha! Doppelganger pheromones and all!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Is revenge sweet justice? Or is it petty?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:55:55 AM
I'm not seeing how revenge in a relationship would draw two people closer. If it's after a break-up, isn't the revenge the break-up itself?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 739 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:50:35 AM

For those who have been around a while.....Think about who was SO vocal about "gangs" before they melted down and 'disappeared'.....??


Exactly. The MO is to create new profiles, be slightly annoying (nothing even grievous enough to warrant getting the boot by ANYone), warn that there's a gang, then self-destruct in an effort to prove the theory true that it happens, and then, whalla, getting posters on the thread to agree that, yup, there must be a gang. The individual isn't some kind of prophet - they're creating an illusion like a magician - however, we've seen the smoke and mirror trick over and over again. I simply don't see anything posted in this thread to suggest there is a gang - all I see are people who disagreed with him/her in both personas and they again took that opportunity to fling in the suggestion of a gang in an effort to prove themselves right about a gang. lol...it IS like a game of Clue, Dee!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 723 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:47:14 PM

We should do a poll on what kind of character profile he'll come back as.
I say - a graduate degree redneck who believes in the Great Pumpkin.


I think it should be something like "Prostheticus" - serves a useful purpose, even though is fake, and sounds a little ostentatious and almost, but not quite, learned.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 716 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 3:13:11 PM
lmfao...gone from just a gang to sounding a little more nefarious. If nothing else, you really do provide some comic relief from time to time (seriously) Now, picture my best Jimmy Cagney impersonation here while I respond. Little secret right back at ya, see...I'm not attempting to win any admiration from any males, females, gangs or gangsters, see. I was simply responding to another poster's post - ya know, like you said for yourself...because I can, see. So much you could teach me? Sorry, but when I'm in a learning mood, I research who and how I want to be taught, see. They have to be bright, not just say they are. You're time is limited?...decided to leave again? ttfn


vvvv au contraire...am in a current 10 year relationship...the one prior to that was 35 years...me thinks I would have the upper hand on the teacher who thinks he can teach a thing or two about relationships, being that your longest one was 6 years. That's, of course, based on your fake profile this time around. Here's the problem, when you go around being a faker, nothing you say can be taken seriously, no matter how much you stomp your feet and whine.

vvv just pointing out that, again, you don't have a clue in a carload - your theory, obviously, didn't pan out. vvv...lmfao...sorry, wrong again, teach...you sure are getting a failing grade here...
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 712 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 2:48:34 PM

What does raise my curiosity is which personna projected is the real you?


My vote would be it's the whiney one...but doesn't that then raise the same question...
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 707 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 1:41:19 PM

You still don't get that the Gang jumped all over OP for stating his point of view in a courteous manner. A gang of bullies. Now you are trying to tell me what I can post. I protest when I see bullies in action. That is my right under the First Amendment. Sorry if you don't like it.


...and you still don't get that there is no "gang". There are simply a number of individuals who disagree with what's being stated to the point that YOU feel ganged up on...by individuals. It's not a case that they don't understand. A person can perfectly understand something but not agree with it. There is no gang going after you. It's difficult to believe that you purport to "teach" when, in fact, all you are amounting to do is speak "at" people. That you believe people who are also exercising free speech are bullies if they disagree with you is simply sour grapes on your part...sorry if YOU don't like it - your constitution protects it - where you live. Go to other thread topics, create one of your own that stays on topic or another site that has forums if the freedom of speech being exercised here isn't your cup of tea.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 695 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 9:47:01 AM
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach...(and many have a misguided belief they have the ability to teach).
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 668 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/6/2015 3:39:08 PM

...Maybe I should start a thread about how some of you rude women should act if you ever truly, hope to bag a guy.


Oh please, no, I don't think we could take any more "enlightenment" it may cause some more of that free speech stuff that you espouse but like to fit into a box of your own making as and when it suits you but can't take in it's various forms yourself.



Now if you are here for the "entertainment", and not worried about being an old women, alone and ignored, wondering what the hell happened to your life . . .well, don't take me up on my offer :-)


lol...offer?? can't wait to see exactly what it is you're offering - alligator boots?...your body?...or would it be that enlightenment thingy? C'mon...don't keep the non-gang gang in suspense.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 657 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:06:52 PM

Yes, but I can't agree with the words "shout down". Anybody with an opposing view point should be able to back their viewpoints up with logic and evidence.


What does it say about not being able to shout down and having to back up viewpoints (opposing or otherwise) with logic and evidence in your constitution? Is that in the fine print somewhere?

With respect to Trump, I guess he was exercising his free speech just short of defamation, libel or slander. He can use his free speech to go out of his way to show his dislike of Obama and incite others who are less logical or educated to jump on his bandwagon (with or without the same agenda as Trump)...in the name of free speech, with or without facts in support. Just like other uneducated people will jump on the bandwagon of someone who believes that women should "know their place" and society should go backward instead of forward regarding that topic in this thread. It's not logical, it can be stated without facts to back it up, and it can also be "shouted down" by those with opposing viewpoints without imminent threat of harm being put forth. Trump and his ilk were shouted down and looked foolish in the process, just as a poster stating women should know their place was shouted down and looked foolish, no matter if it's the OP, one who may be the OP and came back to stir the pot, or an actual newbie. It's not even bullying - there's no intent to harm physically or psychologically. Can others be held accountable for someone making themselves look foolish because free speech allowed it?

One of the things that's important to me, as an older woman, is a boyfriend who doesn't constantly trip all over himself and try to make like it's someone else's doing.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 209 (view)
 
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:35:37 AM
You can "love" the sight of a person at first, but you can't love the person, themselves, if you don't know them. Well, that's me anyway. I must admit I've seen people who have met for the first time and one or the other does that doe eyed "I love you" look that makes everyone, including the object of their doe eyed look, super uncomfortable. I find it kinda creepy if a person attaches the word "love" to someone instantly without even knowing them. Have there been people who have married extremely shortly after meeting someone and stayed married?...sure...but I believe they were only fortunate that they were able to develop the love after having taken the leap, not because they loved each other at first sight. It reminds me of the new show "Married At First Sight" - and even that show is based on "experts" choosing someone based on a large number of qualifying traits suited for each of the individuals.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
OMG - Hell just froze over...
Posted: 5/6/2015 9:26:14 AM
Finally! The Conservatives had become far too arrogant, especially with Redford and her spending sprees and figuring she didn't have to account to anyone, and her replacement, Prentice, telling the citizens to look in the mirror for HIS party's mismanagement (I guess it's half-azzed true - we kept voting the party in). In this case, it wasn't a matter of "better the devil you know". The NDP will have a lot to prove with their new power and that will hopefully equate to good news for Alberta citizens if they wish to retain their majority. Will be nice if they tax corporations the extra 2% they stated in their platform - not enough to over-burden business at the same time as not overburdening everyone else - as long as they can stay away from a Provincial Sales Tax.

I guess hell did freeze over...we have snow in the Capital today!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 619 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 6:39:39 PM

Sorry, but freedom of speech is the freedom to be offended.


Apparently you should be sorry, but for a different reason. There are anti-bullying laws in Canada and even, wait for it, Texas.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 613 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 11:41:53 AM
1) Some men who are violent towards women are anti-feminists and some men are violent towards women who don't have a clue in a carload what feminism is.
2) I'd classify OP as "probably" anti-feminist due to some of his comments about women having "forgotten their place".
3) No one has an idea if OP is violent towards women, other than those women who have had experiences with him. OP's words weren't dangerous, just stupid - as previously discussed. That some women find his words dangerous is because they have had life experiences in which others who spoke just as stupidly did happen to harm women.
4) Correlation, of course, does not unequivocally equal causation - but for some people it could.

Even though I didn't accuse OP of being dangerous, nor did I find his words hate speech - his mindset is simply archaic and out of touch with the today's culture of male/female "roles". For those who did accuse the OP of being dangerous, it was spoken as a fear based on their experiences, or of those close to them, of escalation (which can be reinforced by the Julien Blancs of the world who make it their mission in life to "spread the word") which is a logical fear under those circumstances - for them. Illogical for those of us who have not experienced the fear or tolerated the behaviour in the first place.

If nothing else, for those who expressed the fear, they will now go into relationships being wary of anyone speaking in such a manner in order to avoid the possibility of being with a dangerous individual or even an individual who holds the archaic viewpoint. lol...so in this case, OP's exercise of free speech serves a useful purpose, even though it may bite him in his own ass.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 136 (view)
 
Which state will be the last to legalize gay marriage?
Posted: 5/5/2015 10:20:13 AM

Maybe not, but even those striving to find a genetic link to homosexuality admit that there are environmental and other factors that cause homosexuality.


And the point is? Whether genetic, environmental or whatever, does that make being gay a lesser individual and to be shunned. I'm sure being stupid is caused by a number of issues, be they genetic, environmental or whatnot, but that certainly doesn't stop stupid people from being allowed to get married.



How to you know it holds no harm? you have scientific evidence to support your claim?

Do you have scientific evidence to support that it does? Does heterosexual marriage harm society? If so or if not, in what ways? Show your answer with scientific proof either way.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 610 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 10:01:12 AM
Bullying isn't necessarily a "threat" nor is it necessarily "stalking" if you're in the same place at the same time due to circumstance. A bully doesn't have to be violating a person's "rights" just by using your definition of free speech. You don't have to libel or slander to be a bully (if a person is black or Muslim, or fat, or ugly, or not bright, those can be seen as truths by definition). Where is the difference between criticizing a group in general v. an individual?



There is a world of difference between criticizing a group in general vs. an individual. Individuals have rights. If the KKK burns a cross on my lawn, they have trespassed, they have intentionally inflicted emotional harm, etc. etc.


When it comes to hate speak, are you saying it's alright to go after a group but not an individual...or is it vice versa? You can intentionally inflict emotional harm to an individual, but not a group? For the sake of this thread, where do your comments stand with respect to feminism and how Julien Blanc has been unwelcome in Canada and Australia, etc. as opposed to welcoming him in the U.S. because of your constitution?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 608 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 9:28:00 AM
This would then mean that free speech, for instance, by verbal school bullies online and in person is allowed to continue and all that is required is a rebuttal by others, again, because there is no provocation of immediate violence, immediate panic, imminent lawless action. Schools and parents would only be allowed to rebut the actions of the bullies, regardless of the ostracizing, mental anguish, inability to enjoy the school atmosphere and neighbourhood because the bullies are allowed to exercise free speech and gather a following that bullies as well. I suppose it would then be called "harassment"...but how can it be harassment if it's free speech? Where does the Constitution draw the line?


Maybe someday, when it is clear the US government has become dysfunctional as a result, the Supreme Court will reverse itself, or perhaps we will have a Constitutional Amendment regarding the same.

Well, that pretty much says it all. Your Constitution IS capable of change through amendment and the definition of free speech and laws surrounding it is capable of change - it obviously isn't "perfect" as it stands and is being touted as opposed to the anti-hate legislation which Canada has adopted. I suppose we'll see which country is less/more dysfunctional than the other (or already is).
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 600 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 8:59:54 AM
Re the OT of free speech...would your wonderful Constitution allow free speech such as that to the masses provided by Hitler? Insert any other word where he used the word "Jew", be it the word black, white, Muslim, gay, feminist. In Canada this is considered hate speech. Huge numbers of people are really sheeple and don't/can't think for themselves and are drawn in by charismatic fanatics. The more susceptible people they draw in, the more susceptible people they draw in. Hitler was exercising what you consider free speech because it wasn't provoking "immediate" violence, "immediate" panic, "imminent" lawless action, etc., it did, however, cause hate to grow in such numbers that an army of "followers" EVENTUALLY carried out that which Hitler was espousing by way of "free speech". If this was happening in your country against a particular group of people and the numbers of followers continued to grow, would your Constitution suddenly have to be amended? What if it were say, Muslims or blacks who were exercising free speech in the same manner Hitler did but they substitute the word "Jew" for Christian or white?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 590 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/5/2015 7:46:28 AM

I would imagine that there are are a variety of new posters.......some whose profiles have been deleted.....some genuinely stumbling in here from Google searches and perhaps, some who were here long ago who have come back.


POF has been doing a bunch of TV ads that I've noticed...that could be drawing some people into the forums when searching for the dating portion of the site, so don't discount all new names as regurgitations of past posters. Maybe it's also why there has been a "cleansing" of some of the demidar types - so truly new posters who aren't used to that type of curmudgeon aren't scared off and are more encouraged to stay in both the forums and the dating portion.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Will the 6 officers charged in the death of Freddie Gray ... really go to jail?
Posted: 5/4/2015 8:39:40 AM

That doesn't negate the fact it happened and black youths went on a violent rampage now does it?


...and is it only black youths who do the rioting and looting after soccer games world wide? I'd put it down to simply stupid people do stupid things and will use any excuse to do said stupid things - no matter what colour they are. As this was a "black issue" I would say that's why the black stupid youths figured they could get away with it looking like a "cause" rather than their real reason for what they got up to...black idiots in this case as opposed to white rioting idiots after soccer games.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 530 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 2:41:03 PM
Well, again, danimal, whatever floats your own personal boat. I'm six years older than my guy and didn't feel the need to round down by even a couple of years in order to elicit interest, nor did he feel the need to round up. My own personal choice is to use clues of honesty in small things as a barometer for what I would likely encounter for bigger issues. It seems to work for me because I haven't gone through strings of men by overlooking what, to me, is a sign of potential future conflict in the area of honesty when it comes to fabricated age or anything else that gives me pause when determining an individual's integrity.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 523 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:55:06 PM
aha!! boo wears hats to hide the horns!! I knew there was more to them than just being pretty!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 520 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:24:36 PM

This whole topic begs the 'men are more forgiving' thingy.


...and then they show up as a demidar later on...lol
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 517 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:08:48 PM

Zactly. Lies of omission. Burying hindrances to a relationship under the guise of, "Well, they didn't ask - so I didn't lie about it."


I don't go into relationships all batty eyed and innocent and do broach such things as any addictions, finances, medications and such - and "little" lies like age. It's deliberate deception. If you ask the questions and observe things that don't add up, you don't even have to ask direct questions. Maybe I'm just observant and don't wind up getting "burned" as easy as some who believe they can "fix" the person along the way.


Minor problems on vehicles that turn into major ones happen because of ignoring the problem and NOT dealing with the issue when it's not so 'significant'.


In other words, you'll buy absolutely ANY vehicle on the market, even though some makes and models are known for their inherent problems and believe you can keep "fixing" them along the way, knowing ahead of time they will likely develop those problems and you'll wind up getting rid of it? I don't buy things that way.


Used vehicles always have a myriad of things 'wrong' with them, but if a dealer advertised it as a 2007 model instead of 2005, how significant is that compared to the true condition of the car?


Hey, who am I to argue if you will buy a vehicle that's listed as a 2007 but you later find out it's actually a 2005 and you are paying the added price both at the beginning and during the time you own the vehicle because of the deception. I wouldn't continue owning a vehicle under those conditions. It's called truth in advertising, and isn't revealing your age when looking for a relationship the same thing? If you have no problem with it, all the power to you, but don't complain about the problems that arise because it started out as no big deal to you.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 511 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 12:15:08 PM

Refusing the opportunity to try something or someone new - prevents the chance of a 'bad' choice ever being made.


I dunno, but I believe at my age that experience tells me that, human nature being what it is, if I have the choice between someone who starts out with a lie that's insignificant and unnecessary that the chances are far greater that bigger issues will be lied about. Why would I want to waste my time, knowing how the odds are stacked?

Using the above quoted example, would you buy a model of car over and over again if it had a "minor" problem to start with that consistently turned into major problems? It's not trying something new if you're making the same bad choice based on past experiences with that type of car. It may well be a new car but the performance winds up being consistently the same. Or, would you be pleased about buying a vehicle if the odometer was turned back 500,000 kilometers/miles? The vehicle may seem alright on site but it would soon start showing costly inconsistencies because of it's true mileage.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Will the 6 officers charged in the death of Freddie Gray ... really go to jail?
Posted: 5/1/2015 11:16:47 AM
I don't think all 6 will go to jail or if they do, they won't receive the maximum sentences, but I do believe the one with the most charges definitely will and it won't be a short sentence. An example will have to be made that speaks loud and clear to both police officers and citizens that this type of behaviour has consequences and will no longer be tolerated and brushed under the rug as it has in the past.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 504 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 10:55:11 AM

If she lies about her age by a year or two because she doesn't want to be stereotyped or whatever THAT is just a teensy weensy bit more forgiveable and I don't have the mindset of " a lie is a lie and now go to hell scumbag "


I don't have a go to hell scumbag attitude about the lie is a lie thing when it comes to age...to start with. But I definitely have found that those who do it tend to lie about the more important things even more...as per the guy I knew who was five years older. Lying simply came easy to him and the first lie was about his age. It seems to be an easy pattern and with the lie about age, then they wind up having to lie about other things as well to keep the lie going, so it feeds off itself and doesn't usually stop until they are confronted with the inconsistencies caused by it. I can do without all the pretence and prefer to deal with reality.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 502 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/1/2015 10:33:33 AM

Haven't you seen those old 'Candid Camera' videos (or 20/20 I can't recall) where they showed kids as small as THREE years old taking a toy or a cookie on a hidden camera video and lying about how they got it?


Kids at the age of three years old don't understand the concept yet of what a lie is, so it's n/a.

I believe the only time a lie is warranted is to spare someone's hurt feelings when the truth wouldn't make a difference. For instance, I can't imagine some unattractive man or woman getting themselves all done up for an occasion of some kind, asking you how you thought they look and you say, "Nope, you still looking pretty damned bad, just better." I don't see the point in an adult lying about their age - your "best before date" is your best before date, no matter how you like to slice and dice it. If your exterior looks younger, it doesn't mean your interior is holding up as well. I knew a guy who said he was 5 years younger, could get away with it externally, but had all kinds of age related physical issues.

I suppose what bothers me most about it is if stupid little stuff like age is lied about with no qualms, I would wonder if anything else that's of a more important nature would have lies falling off their tongue just as easily.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 448 (view)
 
astrology and potential mate
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:55:37 AM
^^^ thought you'd catch that...lol We should all post some oldies just for fun - have a "post an old picture" day or sumpin'. Wonder if astrology could have predicted our changes (had to say something remotely associated with the thread).
 
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