REGISTER
|
MAIL/PROFILE
|
HELP
|
NOW ONLINE
|
SEARCH
|
RATING
| FORUMS |
SUCCESS STORIES
Posted In Forum:
All Forums
Alabama
Alaska
Alberta
Arizona
Arkansas
Art/Music
Ask A Girl
Ask A Guy
Australia
British Columbia
Broken Hearts
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Dating & Love Advice
Dating Experiences
Dating Sites
Delaware
District Of Columbia
Event Hosts forum
Florida
Georgia
Hawaii
Health & Fitness
Humor
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Introductions
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Manitoba
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Brunswick
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
Newfoundland
News/Current Events
North Carolina
North Dakota
Nova Scotia
Off Topic
Ohio
Oklahoma
Ontario
Oregon
Over 30
Over 45
Pennsylvania
Plentyoffish Get Togethers
Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help
Poems And Quotes
Politics
Prince Edward Island
Profile Reviews
Quebec
Recipes & Cooking
Relationships
Religion/Supernatural
Rhode Island
Saskatchewan
Science/Philosophy
Sex and Dating
Single Parents
South Carolina
South Dakota
Sports
Stories/creative writing
Technology and computers
Tennessee
Testimonials
Texas
Uk Forums
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Volunteer Moderators Only
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
Home
login
MyForums
Show ALL Forums
Author
Thread: How do I tell him this?
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
54 (
view
)
How do I tell him this?
Posted:
11/27/2009 10:34:23 AM
Yup, tell him. I have a file before me at the moment where the man in the relationship has been diagnosed as bipolar with reams of evidence supporting the diagnosis. Guess what? He's a young man, is a dentist and married within the past year. Being bipolar doesn't make you some leper - it just means you have some mental health issues that you have to deal with through medication and counselling, as well as education. Educate your boyfriend. Show him the positive side of it. Show him it's not to be feared but to be understood. Present him with research of others who have the condition who are well known so he can relate. You keeping it a secret turns it into a "dirty" little secret. Honesty is the best policy is more than just a phrase in most cases. I believe this is one of them.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
39 (
view
)
husband problems?
Posted:
11/27/2009 10:24:21 AM
It doesn't matter why or how you've found yourself in this predicament; the fact of the matter is that you are in this predicament. You have choices in your life (that's what got you here - a choice). Now it's up to you to realize it wasn't the best choice, learn from it and make a choice that is beneficial to you and your child. It's obvious that the guy you are married to could give a rats azz, so what his preferences are don't even enter into the picture. Start off now at your age by demonstrating some strength of character and get yourself out of the situation in a well thought out, well planned way. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you are as capable and mature as you want to believe you are. Taking no action means nothing will change. If that's what you want, that's exactly what you'll get...nothing changing.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
45 (
view
)
Canceling dates before even meeting - why?
Posted:
11/27/2009 8:25:48 AM
I have no idea other than to think that they're actively in dating mode and chosing from many and they've changed their minds and found someone else they'd sooner go on a date with. Not nice to build you up and then crash you a day before the date. On the other hand, at least they didn't agree to meet with you, have you show up but they didn't.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
800 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/26/2009 3:10:16 PM
If women who expect men to mind read want to act like juveniles, they should get treated like one until they learn to act like adults.
I find you get that "reading between the lines" with either gender. For instance, ever try to read between the lines of a man's grunt in response to a question? Much more difficult because there are no lines to read between - it's not even a line, never mind strung together sentences.
vvvvvv Post a pic....I dares ya!
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
13 (
view
)
How do you move from lust to love?
Posted:
11/26/2009 2:21:55 PM
I don't move "from" one "to" the other...one stays pretty much the same and the other is a growing addition.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
77 (
view
)
Have you ever received a Xmas present that made things a deal breaker?
Posted:
11/26/2009 2:15:43 PM
Er...actually watch a guy get Q-tips...I'm sure someone was scratching their head there wondering what I said had anything to do with pool.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
794 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/26/2009 2:09:33 PM
women will soon start wearing male "parts"...well...I'm thinking there's a good thing there's ineternet porn...sigh...
Actually, it's that the male bass are becoming more feminized....so, what colour of lipstick will you be wearing, Mister??
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
75 (
view
)
Have you ever received a Xmas present that made things a deal breaker?
Posted:
11/26/2009 1:42:54 PM
My mom, stepdad and I saw that and all of our jaws dropped at once!
My mom turned to him and said "No, just no."
I laughed so hard I could have wet myself at the idiocy of the idea! And you just know some clueless guys are going to see that and do it!!!!
Pretty good marketing ploy by offending the masses! But ya...watch some guy run out and get a bunch of cue tips!
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
790 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/26/2009 12:23:55 PM
I heard on the news last night that a phenomenom is occurring at an alarming rate with small mouth bass, so looked it up:
<div class='quote'>Scientists are concerned when they find male fish with female sex organs. In the Mississippi River, near Lake City Minnesota, 73 percent of the smallmouth bass had characteristics of both sexes.
The feminization is thought to be caused by hormone-disrupting chemicals in the environment. They can include pesticides, PCBs, heavy metals, household compounds such as laundry detergent and shampoo, and many pharmaceuticals.
It was suggested that, as humans (and other species) rely on these very same rivers that are showing these results (more than just the Mississippi), there could be expected to be some form of fallout at some stage for humans as well. Pretty soon no one will need or want a man and can "do" themselves. What are ya gonna do with your red flags then??
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
19 (
view
)
Love & Money
Posted:
11/26/2009 11:53:14 AM
Here's a twist from "Psychology Today":
Through most of Western civilization, marriage has been more a matter of money, power and survival than of delicate sentiments. In medieval Europe, everyone from the lord of the manor to the village locals had a say in deciding who should wed. Love was considered an absurdly flimsy reason for a match. Even during the Enlightenment and Victorian eras, adultery and friendship were often more passionate than marriage. These days, we marry for loveāand are rewarded with a blistering divorce rate.
Perhaps the problem is that we SHOULD be marrying for money instead of love
Seems to me that, even though money matters do play a role in marriages which "can" be the cause of some of the emomtional strain, and in turn, "some" of the physical abuse, money becomes
the
major factor upon divorce. For some, it's just better not to marry because they can't get either the money or compatibility (love) right, no matter what.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
57 (
view
)
Why is Wife Superiority (Superior Wife Syndrome) so bad for a marriage?
Posted:
11/26/2009 11:23:00 AM
All I can say is don't believe everything you read in an article and take it as fact, no matter if it's a female psychologist who's making a statement in the article. From reading these forums over the past year, it seems to me that for every woman who thinks she's been superior in a marriage, there's a husband who feels the same way and for every woman who thinks she's been hard done by, so is there a man. Time for people to get over themselves.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
52 (
view
)
Have you ever received a Xmas present that made things a deal breaker?
Posted:
11/25/2009 3:10:16 PM
^^^^^
booooooohihihihi...if you don't do stand up comedy, you should!
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
11 (
view
)
wasting my time?
Posted:
11/25/2009 2:02:24 PM
Now we have seeing each other for nine months .She started to have medical problems and needs surgery. while she staying in the hospital she said that when ex shows up she would like me to leave .Now should I be worried here is she using my past relationship xp as amo.
If you should be expected to have no problem with her going out with her ex as a friend, then she should have no problem with you expecting to meet up with the ex when she's in the hospital or anywhere else for that matter. Either she has a problem with the two of you meeting up or the ex has a problem with meeting up with you, which would indicate he's not disentangled himself from his romantic feelings for her...either way, yup, there's a problem.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
83 (
view
)
Women and Being a Challenge
Posted:
11/25/2009 1:02:21 PM
There are good psychologists and there are bad psychologists. An unprofessional one would be one that states their opnion in a forum as a diagnosis of a situation without having the benefit of one on one counselling and the opportunity to properly assess an individual based on more than what can be provided here. While I may agree or disagree with the opinion given here, that's all it really is in this medium and I wouldn't give any more credibility to it than the person next door who may be a professional tennis player offline.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
110 (
view
)
couple arrested for not tipping.,,
Posted:
11/25/2009 12:28:19 PM
Cute. I can't see this holding up in that a gratuity is something given that is "voluntary". How this will be argued in any court would be how can you have mandatory volunteerism - they are opposing terms. State it as a surcharge or whatever, but the use of the word mandatory and the use of the word gratuity in the same breath won't hold up. I don't see why these particular restaurants don't just add the percentage to their menu in the first place - perhaps they already know that their wait staff and food are lacking??
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
25 (
view
)
Honesty or Rudeness, 50+ is too old for these games.
Posted:
11/25/2009 9:47:16 AM
They tell you about these women friends coming to their house and the things they do together. They tell you that these women want more from them but of course they have set them straight that they will never be more than friends.
So, what's holding you back?...set
him
straight and tell him the same thing...that you'll never be more than friends because of his attitude. I can't understand why, if there's something that you find offensive, you'd keep going back for more.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
68 (
view
)
Women and Being a Challenge
Posted:
11/25/2009 9:41:38 AM
I wouldn't listen to what women say ...
That's probably the bigger part of the problem for those who do have problems.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
65 (
view
)
Women and Being a Challenge
Posted:
11/25/2009 9:19:13 AM
I'm of the belief that when the same type of thing keeps happening over and over again, according to you, that it has more to do with needing to look at yourself, rather than the other person being to blame. Are there women out there who play this sort of game?...of course, but the chances of it being every single one you meet is crazy. You say you have all kinds of girls as friends when you're single but then it fizzles when you get into a relationship with one. You keep talking about all the things you give and do. Giving and doing is great but perhaps you become a cling-on when you get to the stage where you've made your mind up that you really like someone. I'm not saying giving and doing isn't nice - that's the way things should be, but there's a point and there's a point. Do you become that cling-on at a certain stage that makes the woman feel claustrophobic? Most people like a certain degree of space and if you don't give it to them, they push back.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
22 (
view
)
Have you ever received a Xmas present that made things a deal breaker?
Posted:
11/24/2009 10:26:40 PM
Just some of the comments about parents and what we've watched with our own. I remember all kinds of fun gifts my dad would give to my mom. Like pots and pans, anti-wrinkle lotions and potions, to name a few. It was always more fun to see what he'd come up with every year than getting anything myself. The thing is, is that she was a fantastic cook who loved the new fangled kitchen stuff and when she got older, she'd always be complaining that the person looking back in the mirror seemed like someone else. She loved her gifts, she loved my father and vice versa. I miss the gift of having them around at Christmas and any other time of the year.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
1 (
view
)
Have you ever received a Xmas present that made things a deal breaker?
Posted:
11/24/2009 7:07:00 PM
I was doing some Christmas shopping today so gift giving is on my mind. I, personally, don't place a whole lot of importance on the type of gifts I do or don't receive, however, I do know of people who are incredibly insulted if a gift is not up to their expectations. Has it affected your relationship negatively to the point you were so hurt that the relationship ended? What are your "expectations" at what stages of a relationship when it comes to receiving a gift? I'm sure there have been some humdingers as far as what you've received. Care to share?
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
14 (
view
)
Why do you think some of the people act different in relationships?
Posted:
11/24/2009 6:46:47 PM
Family, friends and co-workers won't put up with the poor behaviour. Too often people want a relationship so bad that they're willing to allow certain things to occur in the beginning and before you know it, it becomes a runaway train wreck, then they blame the other person when it's too often they themselves who are in some form responsible for allowing the behaviour to continue and escalate. Speak up, leave the person if they continue, or suffer in continued silence.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
9 (
view
)
Can our own emotions, attitudes at a given moment in time causes us to judge a person too hastily?
Posted:
11/24/2009 6:16:51 PM
When we make our initial assessment of somebody by email or a phone conversation, heck even ftf, is it not possible that the emotional, psychological place we occupy at that moment in time causes us to be too harsh or hasty in assessing/judging the other person and consequently potential possibility may be dismissed?
Of course. It's a mixed bag of knowing you're being assessed at the same time you're assessing someone else (not to be confused with being judgemental). That, coupled with the mood of the day, can make all the difference in the world, and more so for certain types of people.
Thread after thread asks or posits that because one person did not "measure up" to our mental constructs of what content should take place in a conversation, or offense is taken when none was intended or by neglecting to ask critical questions to dig a little deeper are left wondering if, why or what did they mean.
The key words here are "neglecting to ask critical questions. Too many people are afraid to ask questions and too quick to assume they have assessed whatever was said correctly. Confirmation or otherwise of your own determinations is only possible by asking. Of course, that's not always necessary when someone is already providing confirmation by being a good communicator in the first place if you happen not to be a good listener.
Is it not possible that we are at fault from time to time for misunderstandings, questions are left unanswered or the decision made that the other person didn't pass muster ( generally accepted inappropriate, offensive behavior aside)?
Of course again - not only with respect to leaving questions unanswered but leaving questions unasked.
Good communication skills aren't the strong suit of a lot of people, in fact, I'd wager to say most people. What's said more often than not in the threads? "Don't ask us, ask the person you're dealing with/in a relationship with." Lack of effective communication skills (asking/answering) is either fear based or based on indifference.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
721 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/24/2009 11:14:36 AM
Because they're feminist pigs. Esentially, they're telling you you're worthless to them, unless you can take car of them, pamper them and cater to their each and every mindless whim. Take a look at this site, it'll enlighten you to evil women.
I'd have to say that you have your definition of independent screwed up...although those type of women can be considered pigs (at the trough), that's entirely the opposite of what being independent is...sounds like totally dependent to me.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
704 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/23/2009 7:58:04 PM
Sheeeeesh!!!
Folks you can argue till blue where the sun don't shine.
I know I do NEED a man, and the hell with the independence thingy.
There- I said it!
Ahhh! At last, some honesty!
See...now here's the thing about statements such as these when people are asked
their
opinion and it doesn't happen to mesh with the next person's opinion according to their beliefs, feelings, needs and wants, etc. The assumptionn is that because it isn't the same as your own personal set of criteria, beliefs or interpretations that the other person is a liar. Now wait...before anyone goes running off to mods, I'm not saying the above individual called anyone in particular a liar, but the inference is there respecting opposing beliefs when someone says "at last, some honesty". It infers others were being dishonest. No one has been dishonest with their statements unless you can crawl inside their head somehow and prove it - something science hasn't yet been able to do, so how can your everyday garden variety forumite make the claim? You can't. So, as many have said, if you see something in a profile that makes
you
in particular stop and go hmmm...move along lil doggy until you find one that makes you go mmmm. Whether you're limiting your dating potential because of it or not is only harming or helping yourself and that's who's living your particular life unless, of course, you don't have an independent thought of your own.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
670 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/23/2009 4:31:37 PM
I think the over-use of the word "red-flag" isn't a very independent use of a term...where's the sheeple emoticon??.....baa-aaa-aaaa
vvvvv that too!
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
37 (
view
)
told myself I would never do it
Posted:
11/23/2009 3:09:42 PM
Did I mention SHE instagated it??
Ah...well, then....you're automatically absolved of all guilt and wrong doing by deflection. I think those are the rules...at least of an azzhat.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
49 (
view
)
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted:
11/23/2009 2:54:24 PM
Uumm , speak for yourself,
I don't "lick" myself clean.
Nor do i fling feces at others.
Ha! We only have your word for it. Bear in mind, I'm not asking for proof...
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
25 (
view
)
Finding relief in reading the forums.
Posted:
11/23/2009 2:44:03 PM
I just wish the a$$es could be called a$$es directly without running the risk of them running to the mods. But it is entertaining to see how they are told they are by the more proficient verbal sparrers. It's good for a laugh and that's pretty much the only reason I come here. Those who are sad, lonely people...is just plain sad and I feel for them. All in all, I think it's a pretty good sampling of the general population and what goes on inside people's heads that we otherwise aren't privy to - most of them just don't have the nerve to say face to face what they do here hiding behind their relative anonymity.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
646 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/23/2009 1:12:50 PM
These laws unfortunately make it difficult for single moms to have any kind of LTR with a man, as we become more aware of these legalities and take appropriate actions to protect ourselves.....I for one will NOT co-habitate with a lady that has kids....and I make this point quite clear when I date........
And yet you are a single dad and the law for CS wouldn't work for you the same way. Well, they "might" if you made less money than who you were cohabitating with but even then it would be a fight and a half in the courts - because you are male. Even then, most men won't bother because they just want to get on with their life on their own...many women will pursue it because it's based on revenge or entitlement - instead of bettering themselves under their own steam.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
29 (
view
)
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted:
11/23/2009 12:29:45 PM
C'mon people...it was tongue in cheek re the yearly marriage vows. The point is that business contracts and dynamics change just as the dynmaics in marriages change. If that isn't the case, why are you not still in the first relationship you ever had?
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
669 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/23/2009 12:21:08 PM
Chame...ask the young fellow why he went to ban camp.
Also, I agree with Irish, there is a degree of snarkiness isn't there???
As, for my life? Why do you care? Mmmmm?
Since you are directing your comment specifically to me, I don't care why anyone is sent to banned camp unless someone is fostering hate mongering on a continual basis against a group or individual, which is often very subjective by the person running to mods at any rate. Hate mongers generally get lambasted by fellow posters and get weeded out by natural selection anyway. I don't believe in the whole running to report people - it reminds me of tattletales in school who haven't yet learned the art of dealing with people effectively. Other than that, a person has the ability to not respond and not perpetuate or handle themselves in any other diplomatic, mature way. As for snarkiness, it's usually two sided even though attempts to veil it are made. As for your life...myself?... I personnaly don't care and I'm sure others don't either, other than wishing you the best. I comment on posts and ideas and counter them with my own.
vvvvvvvv Great...now I'm gonna have that tune running in my head all day...thanks!..lol
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
22 (
view
)
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted:
11/23/2009 12:07:40 PM
Two men/women get together to start up a business regarding a product. They form a partnership with all sorts of "vows" and "agreements"...and SIGN on the dotted line.
Perhaps there should be year-to-year marriage contracts like there are with business contracts. The nature of businesses can change over time, depending on different variables, the same way that people and circumstances in marriage can change over time. Business partnerships dissolve for as many reasons as marriages dissolve. It's wise to dissolve in either case when it's no longer viable and not just stick in it because there "once" was a contract/vow.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
665 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/23/2009 11:32:27 AM
Then there is that happy medium. Mine. I make enough to support myself...and I also love pink, cooking & baking, gardening, home decorating, shoes & purses, and spoiling my man. Funny...he sure wants to keep me
If that, in fact, is how you live your life, that's the balance to which I and others refer which is healthy. I'm soooo not about role playing in relationships, whether it's of a monetary nature or any other abilities one has to offer. It's the imbalance of either that generally causes people problems in relationships and they just don't get it...male and female alike. Otherwise, one can be made to feel like they're being
used
for their money alone and the other may feel they are being
used
for their abilities. Prima Donna princesses are as bad as male chauvenist pigs. If they seek each other out and it works, great. It's when people are blindsided by the attitudes. or allow themselves to be used in order to be in a relationship at all costs, that it doesn't work.
P.S. I don't think it's so much that anyone's obsessed with anyone else's posts but rather that if someone posts often, inconsistencies become noticed. That can be avoided if a person is consistent. Is it worth reporting someone? I think not. Then it amounts to being obsessed that someone "may" be obsessed with you...lol
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
51 (
view
)
Would you cheat on SO for alot of money?
Posted:
11/23/2009 11:04:25 AM
I ask this because my SO has a profession of dealing with large rich clientile ...
If a person has a SO with a profession that isn't sex for money, accepting money for sex pretty much means she's changed her profession, even if it's only a part time job of one night for $1M. Put that on any further resumes or dating profiles and see how far it'll take you.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
658 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/23/2009 10:14:38 AM
Oh well who really cares anyway about what other do with their or other peoples money. Seriously ...
I guess if you're looking to date (and this is also a dating site besides a forum site), it matters a lot what your mentality is to those prospectives trying to figure out what you may be like in actuality. As I've said before, too bad it isn't a requirement to post in the forums before being able to contact anyone. Forum history would go a longgggg way as an eye opener to the "usual" fluff in a profile.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
653 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/23/2009 9:20:19 AM
To me from what I have read ... It all boils down to if you are a woman, and you don't earn more than a man you are interested in that means that this woman is nothing more than a taker gold digging useless human being.
I didn't get that at all from what I've read. I got that fair play should be expected, not an all or nothing proposition one way or the other.
That if a woman is feminine that she then has no strength and can not support her man, family or even herself. If there is a Katrina hit the whole of the united states she has no purpose. Some people on here feel that unless you shove it in a mans face that you NEVER need a man for anything ... and I do mean anything then that woman has zero to offer in bringing any qualities to a relationship.
If a woman is ONLY feminine and has a "pink fluff" mentality, then no, she doesn't bring much of anything to a relationship but that pink fluff. While I disagree with a woman shoving her earning capabilities in a man's face, I also disagree with women who shove their femininity in a man's (or anyone else's) face as well and figure that's all it takes to live life or have a decent relationship. Who says you can't be feminine at the same time as being fair minded and want to pull your own weight monetarily in an attempt at equality in a relationship. Pink fluff doesn't mean you still can't be a biotch any more than wanting to strive for equality in a relationship makes you a butch, truck driving female .
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
644 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/23/2009 8:03:43 AM
Let's get back to that topic at hand. Love...quality of life.
...you conveniently forgot the "and who pays" portion of the thread topic.
To most of us on here, we want a partner that compliments us. That is good for our heart, mind, spirit and soul. That makes it worthwhile waking up in the morning knowing that they are there in your life caring about you, caring about US.
While I agree that most people want what you state, if you think the financial aspect of relationships doesn't enter into the equation, there'd be very few threads because most seem to have the monetary factor being addressed sooner or later.
vvvvvvv Ya, too bad we don't have that perfect world, huh?
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
83 (
view
)
Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome?
Posted:
11/23/2009 7:46:36 AM
if this is a representative sample, a great many of my fellow Americans think all words mean one thing and one thing only...
...and I'm as equally surprised that those same people who think all words mean one thing and only one thing have such a tendancy to pick the negative connotation, rather than the positive.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
11 (
view
)
Do we expect more?
Posted:
11/22/2009 7:31:08 PM
I don't see it as more expectations. I see it as people being able to have the bravery to contact because it's not face to face. You're always going to get people anywhere hitting on someone who's a total mismatch. If you go to clubs (which I assume you don't) you've got the old pot bellied guys buying drinks for younger women and you've got the cougars buying drinks for the young guys. It just happens more online, again, because of the anonymity factor.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
77 (
view
)
Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome?
Posted:
11/22/2009 6:15:31 PM
It's an old term (very positive) which is misunderstood by too many people today so, nah, find another term. If used, however, it's not a good idea to use it at the same time you tell her you wish you could grow a moustache like her unless you have very fast reflexes or can outrun her.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
5 (
view
)
How Much Should I Disclose?
Posted:
11/22/2009 6:09:20 PM
Keep your mouth shut. If she's not mature enough to approach him herself, she's not likely mature enough to be with a guy this age either. That being said, if he's alright with you setting them up, fine, but let her ask her own questions and allow him to give her answers that he's willing to give.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
23 (
view
)
Communication issues
Posted:
11/22/2009 5:41:15 PM
If he's the one that told you you need to work on your communication, put the ball in his court and tell him to ask you the questions that he considers are non-fluff and then ask him to provide his own response to the questions as well. Give him straight forward answers and not what you "think" he wants to hear. Too many people do that in an effort to win someone over and then the "real" person comes out later on - not fair. If he asks questions that you are uncomfortable answering at this early stage, tell him why without going into detail. Make sure both of you don't ask questions to which you aren't prepared to hear the answer either. Honesty works wonders.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
16 (
view
)
He is not in to me or dont want anything serious???
Posted:
11/22/2009 5:09:37 PM
Being that you are on a visa and still haven't made up your mind what you're doing about staying or leaving, it could well be he's not allowing himself to invest more in the relationship because of your own incertainty. It sounds as though he's relegated you to being a friend because of it.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
597 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/22/2009 3:28:16 PM
I don't gender bash...everyone's fair game...I try not to discriminate!!!
I can attest to your statement. Weren't you the flag carrier in banned camp at one point? Was some pretty imbalanced minds that sent you there in the first place...and I don't believe they stated they were independent in their profile. Needing a man was the last thing they were in deed of.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
593 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/22/2009 3:07:37 PM
Last time I checked, the men (and women) on POF are real people with real lives and real ups and downs. The fact that they are using the internet as an avenue to meet others doesn't change who they are and they are the same people you meet in real life. Moral of the story: I don't agree with your conclusion.
I totally agree with the above and have stated it many times in the past. It's really too bad that it's not a requirement that everyone that uses the site has to use the forums in order to contact anyone. It certainly is an eye opener with respect to gender bashers. Talk about showing baggage that you don't get to see from a profile or an Email that is lurking there. Of course, the opposite is true too insofar as a chance to see those with balanced minds and attitudes.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
30 (
view
)
PLEASE HELP!!!!
Posted:
11/22/2009 1:12:26 PM
44 huh?...wow! That's pretty much all I've got.
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
550 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/21/2009 4:09:42 PM
Gawd....being indepedent doesn't mean you have to hate men and be a biotch because of it....but I see from some of these posts that at the very least there's an undefined but almost palpable fear of men, if not that hatred. I see independence being touted in the forums over and over again by some who don't put it in their profile at all...which goes back to my prior statement that they can have a profile that will be as sweet as pie as their fingers are sustaining frostbite while they type it. Then some of them state they "need" a man....I can see why....to punish them with verbal diarrhea for the past wrongs that someone else, totally unrelated, did to them or their fear that someone else might do to them, likely due in large part from lack of intuitive/perception skills.
I know I and a number of women who are independent don't use it as a shield of false bravado. It's one thing to state you're independent and be it...and another to state it and be anything but. Either way, it's obvious stating it in a profile or not means absolutely d!ck. All I can say is dater beware!
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
588 (
view
)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted:
11/21/2009 2:39:15 PM
Forget the strawman definitions, find me a propurpose translation web-link....geeeez
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
1303 (
view
)
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted:
11/21/2009 1:08:08 PM
Ya...really, it all is irresponsible on both sides, Irish....I'm all for the suggestion of Cindy's
I'm outta here on this one...a person can only reaffirm their position so many times before it even sounds redudant to themselves (me).
Rickeyes you managed to crack me up without a political statement this time! Seeeeee, it can be done!
Although somehow it makes you seem like an imposter when the political comments are missing....
chameleonf
Joined:
12/22/2008
Msg:
542 (
view
)
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted:
11/21/2009 12:32:21 PM
wow...all I can say is they must need to update the dictionary definitions of the word "independent" and define it strictly as having become a slang term for the female of the human species also known as a biotch. Talk about taking interpretive license to the extreme. How about you call a biotch a biotch and an independent person someone who falls nicely into a number of the categories of the actual definition of the word. I've seen far more "dependent" people who fall into the category of a biotch/rat **stard because of their manipulative, needy and greedy tendancies than I have of people I'd classify as independent. What an incredible number of hurt people out there who fly to extreme judgements...simply incredible.
Show ALL Forums