Starting a family aged 50+ chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Starting a family aged 50+

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

Starting a family aged 50+ Posted: 11/20/2009 11:30:38 AM
Don't know why anyone would WANT to; I grew up with two baby sisters (12 and 13 years younger than I) and, while they were very sweet, we bashed heads and hearts occasionally, and they felt burdensome at times (and I wasn't even paying for them). Kids can be loving sponges who soak up everything you say as gospel (if you instill values in them from birth), but they do have irrational outbursts, temper tantrums and emotional issues that are hard to deal with at any age; at 50+ the generation gap is too large in my opinion, and the pitter-patter of little feet has a loathsome quality of dread rather than love to this 44-year-old. Maybe if I have a financial windfall and am getting bored with the relatively sedate quality of a 2-person relationship, I'll be ready for the craziness of a family again. But, if some 50+ gent is a truly loving angel and is set for 20+ years of that mindset, plus is physically fit and has plenty of money to throw around, God bless him for his selflessness and good luck on this journey, this ultimate adventure!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 141 (view)

Religion and sex in dating Posted: 11/20/2009 11:13:34 AM
Generally, I avoid dating zealous Christians for that very reason. Either sex ain't going to happen at all, or they want me sexually and are willing to quote the Bible when it suits them but not follow it to the letter. Neither are a pleasant scenario and reek of lying. I prefer religious moderates, who admit that they're not perfect but try to lead a good clean life by being monogamous until it's clear that a relationship isn't working out before ending it and moving onto the next one, and being kind, which is the very nature of Jesus Christ. So many Christians that I've met and talked with are ANYTHING BUT kind and in fact are the meanest, nastiest people on the planet, their hostility and ire raised to a fever pitch when you even begin to question anything in the scriptures. I prefer to hang with those who are clearly walking the walk rather than just talking the talk.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Do you ever feel like you belong in a different place or in a different time? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:06:24 AM
Yep. 1930s Hollywood. It was just after the wild, sexy, roaring 20s, sound came in, and there was a bit of conservatism before WWII hit. Downshot? Economic depression, so anyone working in Hollywood was working very hard, under contract, for relatively low pay, and happy to get it.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Meant to be alone Posted: 11/20/2009 11:01:18 AM
I heard Mike Nichols' (director) commentary on The Graduate Special Edition DVD talking about expectations. He said "people who have wonderful expectations for their lives are bound to be disappointed and miserable, whereas people who always expect the worst are bound to be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't happen". Bit of wisdom there-! He was applying this statement to artistic endeavors like movie-making (this is horrible and it's gonna be a flop), but it applies to relationships too.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Does this ring true for anyone? Posted: 11/20/2009 10:58:43 AM
You could always lay it out exactly like you did here-! Like "I'm starting to like you but this is really bad timing...can we just be friends for now?"

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Youthful face/Facial fittness Posted: 11/17/2009 9:34:47 AM
Sounds good-! As my face is the body part most exposed to the Florida sun, my pale face is aging and wrinkling faster than the rest of my body. I've got a bit of my dad's double-chin and my mom's vagina neck lol. Smiling helps tighten facial muscles-!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Body for Life Posted: 11/17/2009 9:28:51 AM
Not familiar with HIT, but I ride bicycle every chance I get and do arms and legs at the gym. Seems to be suffiicient: I'm lean, lanky, with well-defined muscles (a lot of thanks goes to my mom for her side of the family's lightning-speed metabolism), have plenty of energy, and feel great!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Why are we in such a hurry? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:14:07 AM
Whatever do you mean? I'M not in a hurry-! I have relaxation down to a science. But, I agree, seems a lot of others are.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

I have zero experience with older men. Posted: 11/17/2009 9:10:44 AM
Just tell him that you're feeling awkward too, and that you're not a kid anymore either, and let things progress as they may. You two might find that you're exactly the right "tone" for each other sexually. Maybe you didn't WANT to know him when he was in his prime! Maybe he was a bull in a china shop unchained! Maybe he was a philandering idiot! Maybe now he has the sensitivity to really go a long time and really appreciate a woman, ONE woman! And, anyway, if his heart's up to it, there's always Viagra or Cialis.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

opinions please - is my friend bisexual? Posted: 11/17/2009 9:06:24 AM
Uh, yep--he's gay/bi. A straight guy would NOT ask his male friend for a hand-or blow-job. Unless you're latently gay or bi-curious yourself, get away from this freak.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 123 (view)

Accepting a man that's unemployed Posted: 11/17/2009 9:04:23 AM
They just don't want the liability or the stress. Can you blame them??? A job is like a marriage. They don't want to get you on the rebound in between two marriages; they want you reasonably happy and at the top of your game. Can you blame them??? And, if you're unemployed, you don't even have money to date. Your priority should really be finding work right now.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

finding a girl who enjoys sex Posted: 11/17/2009 9:01:34 AM
Not coming off shallow: I know whatchu mean. Maybe give the next relationship 3 months. If you two still aren't rolling in the hay rampantly by that time, it ain't gonna happen, and you can dump her and still have a clear conscience as far not being so shallow as to dump her after the first date.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do people lie? Posted: 11/17/2009 8:51:41 AM
Because they're chicken s--t and don't like to face truths that may be unpleasant to deal with. Yeah, I'd rather know the truth. Saves a lot of time, guessing and false assumptions.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 485 (view)

What do you think about cougars? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:37:08 AM
"Maggie Thatcher naked on a cold day"! That's my feeling about English cougars. But, if you look hot and can get the young bucks, I say go for it. I'm all for being "snared" by a cougar, although, at my age, that would put her in her 50s or 60s. I have been noticing some very attractive, more mature women than I at the gym lately-! If she keeps her overall body in good shape, I could care less about wrinkles and crow's feet.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

When is the time right? Posted: 11/17/2009 7:34:27 AM
If you want to "do it", do it. If you don't, don't. There is no "being used" if you enjoyed it too.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Would you have sex with a machine? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:47:00 AM
Is there a reverse version of the thruster? Or whatever it's called? Y'know, has a hard dildo on one end and the lady controls the speed in which the machine thrusts the dildo? If so, if there's a "suction" version, sign me up lol.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 279 (view)

Smarter ladies have worse sex Posted: 11/16/2009 8:43:40 AM
If that is true, it's probably because smarter ladies can be overly analytical, rather than letting the moment BE and simply enjoying it. There is such a thing as editorializing...then there is such a thing as discarding all that mental junk and simply letting animal instinct take over. If she's smart ENOUGH, she should be able to do either. I LIKE head-strong ladies, IF they're smart enough to be able to laugh at themselves and go in either direction. "Oh, we're being sexy now-!"

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 192 (view)

Masturbation=cheating Posted: 11/16/2009 8:39:21 AM
I don't think it's cheating, but, if you've got the real flesh-and-blood thing right there, unless she's not as horny as you are...WHY would you masturbate? Personally, I think MUTUAL masturbation can be VERY sexy. I'd love to watch her play with herself while she watches me do the same, then listen and watch as our moans heighten and accelerate, and even watch each other cum. If she's a gusher, I'd like to squirt while she gushes...wow, that'd be great. Talk about connection! Sex is largely mental and visual anyway!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

finding a girl who enjoys sex Posted: 11/16/2009 8:34:41 AM
Sex is like any other aspect of a relationship: You throw out a little interest, then wait to get something back. If your eyes have that crazy gleam when they look into hers and hers are dull or dart around like a fileted fish who would rather be somewhere else, well...she ain't as into you as you are her.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

How can someone say they love you yet want to be with someone else Posted: 11/16/2009 8:31:03 AM
Dunno. Like 31 ice cream flavors, she likes her variety. So should you. Start dating someone else and brush off this woman's phone calls...laugh and say "OK, gotta go now..."

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Why do second marriages fail more often? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:25:54 AM
DO they fail more often? I dunno...I'd be interested to see statistics. Well, if they do in fact fail, my guess is that a sequel is never as good as an original. Unless the previously-married one wipes away all residual emotions and preconceived notions and goes into the second one as a completely blank slate, a new chapter, a new adventure. But that is scary, and very few people are emotionally equipped to do that. If I find enough pleasure in it, I'll completely forget all my previous emotional experiences and entanglements and go completely crazy for this new person.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Dating A Single Child Posted: 11/16/2009 8:22:52 AM
Oh, you mean an ONLY child. I could care less, but, in my male friends, I do see the drawbacks of being an only child: They tend to be spoiled, self-centered and never learned how to play nice with other kids, because they had no siblings-! I'm the oldest of 3 (formerly 4) siblings, and, while we all annoyed the crap out of each other at times, it was great being part of a big brood. I learned so much from my brother and two sisters, and they from me. As far as having children of my own, yep, one child is it. Can't financially afford any more. We'll put the kid in social situations with other kids as early as possible so he or she learns social skills.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 83 (view)

why do men assume you want to talk sex ? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:17:24 AM
I don't ASSUME you want to talk about sex. But I HOPE there's a freak there in you somewhere who is slightly deviant and open to experimentation-! Can't speak for your date, OP, but...what can I say, any red-blooded male (or female for that matter) with any sex drive whatsoever is always going to be thinking about their mate, the object of their desires, in a wild sexual way. While warmth, comfort, companionship, good conversation, similar goals, yada yada are certainly important, the craziness of rampant lust is what makes a relationship full and exciting, don'tcha think? Who WOULDN'T want excitement in their relationship, as long as it's containable and there are boundaries of monogamy?

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

honest answer... Posted: 11/16/2009 8:12:54 AM
"i think giving no pression to the one u love, its the best.." I agree with you, tareco. Sometimes that very pressure is the death of a good thing. But, since you're here raising the issue, you're clearly not ENTIRELY happy with the situation. Maybe you're afraid he'll find someone else and leave-? So you'd like more of a long-term proclamation of faithfulness? Well, marriage makes it more difficult for one person to simply walk out the door, but marriage is no guarantee of anything either. I'd suggest, if you're going to broach this subject AT ALL with your lover, do it DELICATELY and with a sense of humor. You don't want to mess up something that is obviously working and scare the dude off.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

My wife left me for my brother after 15 years of marriage. Posted: 11/15/2009 10:32:40 AM
Your BROTHER??? That's a new one. He must be the wilder one in the family-! Obviously, she's attracted to the bad boys, and gospel group ain't getting it done for her. Let her go and wish them well. Marry a guy who's been to the pen 5 times? Count your blessings, man. She could've developed a drug or gambling habit and drained you dry financially. If she wants a convicted felon, great, let her, go f--k his brains out in or out of his prison cell. But I'd be worried about her presence around your children. Use the "convict" angle as ammunition in your child custody battle. The judge will most certainly rule in your favor, guaranteed, for the childrens' safety. Next time, in the next woman, don't put yourself out there so much (cooking, cleaning, etc.). Do it sometimes, and then wait for her to do it others. Happy fishing!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

single mom's pressured into lesbian sex Posted: 11/15/2009 10:27:00 AM
I don't know why single moms are "singled out" for lesbian sex. Maybe the lesbian pursuer knows they're lonely, because no man in the pursuee's life, which makes the pursuee prime real estate. Just like any male predator, a female predator has the predatory mentality, looking for vulnerability-!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Abusive Relationships Posted: 11/15/2009 10:19:40 AM
Abusive relationships: They're someone else's problem. Me, I'd rather be alone, which is currently the case. If I meet someone I truly like, great. If not, great. Nothing wrong with being vulnerable, monique, but, beneath that, you've got to have or develop a bit of an animal toughness...that simply DOESN'T CARE if you're lonely, DOESN'T CARE if you meet someone, because you've got enough going on in your life to feel fulfilled regardless. An obsessive hobby (even if it's watching movies), a job (that you enjoy...good luck), exercise habits, reading, etc. The very fact that you ARE vulnerable is what draws out the Devil in these men who "abuse" you. I don't want to shift the blame from them, but you've got to take some accountability here for WHY they don't respect you and WHY they feel the need to belittle you or whatever else they did that constitutes abuse. Crying "love me love me love me" all the time is going to be a drain on anyone else, who is in the struggle of his own life and can't be his own rock as well as yours. Anyone will feel like they're being devoured, swallowed up, completely exhausted, with nothing left to give. Anyone's natural tendency is to either get angry or to stray, because they feel suffocated. You've got to be independent enough (and it's simply a matter of directing and throwing your mind and soul into something beyond a human being) to live your own life, but have those moments of softness and tenderness to let someone else in when you're lonely-! It's a balancing act. Good luck-!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

How to get back out there. Posted: 11/15/2009 10:12:54 AM
No hobbies: Think that might be the problem right there. Idle minds are succeptible to the Devil's work (getting drunk, getting laid promiscuously). Good job taking up writing! It's a good start!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

how to get over it! Posted: 11/15/2009 10:10:50 AM
Channel that anger into something positive, like exercise. Your body, mind and soul will thank you for it. Works for me-!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Possible for a man to love two women at once? Posted: 11/15/2009 10:00:51 AM
Yes. One for comfort, the other for sex and craziness. Absolutely. Nice to get both in two sides of the same person's personality, but I haven't found it yet...

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

independent women fall the hardest Posted: 11/15/2009 9:58:26 AM
Yep, because they put up the highest walls (and expectations).

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 296 (view)

She is barely legal, He is 48 Posted: 11/15/2009 9:56:21 AM
OP: So? So what? If they're both happy, what business is it of yours anyway? Uh, for the man, the appeal would be: Visual: She looks good. Tactile: Her skin and hair are silky-smooth to the touch. Emotional: She's sweet, vulnerable, impressionable, teachable, an open book (not yet jaded by experience). And sex is a brand-new thing for her...hence the sexual excitement and willingness to experiment with her own body...and his. As long as he's in reasonably good shape so she's not grossed out (ewww), who cares? Ego: Sure! Even if she's only out for dough, there is a sort of thrill and ego gratification in the elder thinking "I've still got IT". From her standpoint, he probably treats her nicely than the horn-dogs her age and buys her nice things. And the problem is-?

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 313 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/12/2009 11:22:31 AM
Your argument would apply only to women who INTEND to get pregnant. For those whom pregnancy is an "oops", they aren't playing God; GOD is playing God.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Benefits of warm lemon water Posted: 11/12/2009 8:36:04 AM
True, and sounds good to me!!! I'm making some right now!!!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

No or low cost alternatives to the gym Posted: 11/12/2009 8:31:25 AM
Pushups, squats, jumping jacks, running, even hand-washing the car-!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Lactose Intolerance? Posted: 11/12/2009 8:28:14 AM
Never had tummy aches from lactose (my stomach is cast-iron), but GOD--the gaseous aftermath the stuff produces in my colon--PHEW!!! Gave it up, even Silk (soy milk). Probably not odd at all to develop this later in life. Everything rears its ugly head later in life. I guess find food substitutes! Also, get your stomach checked by a physician. Not to alarm you, but this might be a sign of an ulcer, early stage of cancer or some other malady.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Eating Healthy on a low income? Posted: 11/12/2009 8:25:28 AM
Oatmeal is good. Also, BEANS. If you don't mind the gaseous aftermath, they are tasty, protein-filled and are cheap. Mix it up: Try a variety of different kinds of canned beans, chili, lima, baked, etc.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Feeling unappreciated... Posted: 11/12/2009 8:19:40 AM
Next time, put yourself out 50% and wait for her to put herself out 50%. Give...and take. What did you want from her? Where did you expect all this giving to lead? Still keeps in contact with you and you can't figure out why: Isn't it obvious? She needs her meal ticket close, in case she needs more "help". Oh, sure--I've had people in my life use me and not appreciate me. I got wise, withdrew, and left THEM to figure out why. Now, I give a little...then wait to get. Without "keeping score", more just a karmic feeling, if I get, I give more...and so it goes. You should do the same.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Rejected me, but is insisting on friendship... Posted: 11/12/2009 8:09:49 AM
If she wants you as a friend and you want more than that, mismatched intentions won't work, because you (rightly) don't enjoy being stuck in the friend zone when you want her flesh too. No, she doesn't understand that. If you yelled at her, it wouldn't be any more clear. When she says "I want my old friend back!" say "You can't have your old friend back, because I'm not your friend, I'm your lover (or want to be anyway)!"

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Wasted time, but not a waste of time Posted: 11/12/2009 8:06:01 AM
If it wasn't love, it must've been lust. And that is not necessarily "wrong", just maybe not what you wanted long-term. You're human and easily seduced by animal charms. Accept it. Good luck!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Girl doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Posted: 11/12/2009 7:56:13 AM
My God--she's 39, goes club-hopping and still lives with her parents. When's this chick gonna grow up, grow a pair, get a job, maybe a roommate, and get her own place? It got too serious too fast for her, and she freaked (and she is right to freak). Slow it down, Mike. Count your blessings, Mike, that it ended there, before you two moved in together, and you REALLY started doling out the cash! You don't want to be a sugah-daddy to someone who lays on the couch all day sleeping and vegging to the tube and parties all night, on your dime. You'd get to resent her a lot more deeply. You've got to accept some personal responsibility, Mike, for creating and enabling this monster. Don't put yourself out there so much next time-! Give a little, then wait to get. For just being "friends", you sure burnt a lot of gas and spent a lot of dough! Don't meet the family until you two are crazy in love, having great sex, and she has demonstrated, through selfless acts of kindness and consideration toward you, that she gives as much as she takes-! Let HER make the drive or pay for a meal once in awhile! You have to admit that you moved things along way too fast...for just being "friends". She must've been one red-hot vixen.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

I could use some help. Posted: 11/12/2009 7:47:59 AM
Yeah, what were you doing that was "so stupid"? That might help me make an informed response. Was it blaming her so she'd go nuts and you'd have some more great sex? Cheating on her? Doing drugs? If the blame was the reason she left, well, I don't know the seriousness of the blame, but it must've cut her pretty deep. Maybe now she's just scared that you've got her number, that you REALLY know her, and she doesn't want ANYONE to REALLY know her-! I dunno. You just want her back. Yeah, I imagine this must've been an intoxicating relationship. Like the Rolling Stones say "you can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes...you get what you NEED". Bit of wisdom there. Downsize your desires, tone down the craziness, and you may indeed get what you need.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Is this not love? Posted: 11/12/2009 7:39:57 AM
I think that UUHH!, y'know, that primal sexual push, was missing. I don't know how active you two were sexually during those 5 months, but this sounds like what the problem is. All the rest of his washy-washy romantic talk, the family, babies, dogs, blah blah blah, ain't gonna happen if that UUHH!, that primal sexual push, ain't there. Forgive me if I'm making the wrong presumptions, but, if this is the case, maybe it's an Asian thing-! I dated a Vietnamese woman for awhile there, and we were two peas in a pod, kindred spirits in every way, and I still miss her soft, silky hair, smooth skin and gentle demeanor, but when it came to sex, she wasn't quite as freaky as I am. Maybe she wasn't attracted to me, .or maybe I didn't create the kind of situation that would generate that kind of heat and sizzle (she sure was a great kisser and we sure did everything we could do with our clothes on in the back of many a movie theater lol), but there were "limits", "boundaries" to how freaky she would allow us to get, and I felt, well, a bit limited. Again, forgive me if my presumptions are wrong. You're very cute and the next guy will adore you, so just continue to be you. Focus on "one day at a time" and whether you're happy...TODAY. I think your BF raised the bar too high, for sure, with too much flowery, romantic talk. Then he realized he couldn't keep up his end of the bargain by doing his part to perpetuate the fairy tale he'd built up in his mind (and yours) through his talking blah blah blah. He should focus on his immediate needs before getting too far ahead of things. Actions speak louder than words. Focus on the next guy's actions and warmth and ignore the blah blah blah of what he says, because both genders blah blah blah and it's largely BS.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

EX'S... wtf man??? Why is this so flippin hard? Posted: 11/12/2009 7:20:20 AM
You're not stupid...just frail and weak (welcome to the anti-chambers of the human heart...we're all weak). Take whatever she gives you, and then be ready to detach, because, if she left you before, she'll leave you again. Attach/detach is an art. Focus your energy on God or whatever higher source (if any) you rely on. If you don't have a higher source, I suggest you read frantically to find one. Relax. Get plenty of sleep. Then assess how this (or any) woman fits into this God-centricity. If she fits, great--let her in. If she doesn't, great--let her out. Women are not evil...they're just self-serving (like we are). It's human nature, a basic survival instinct. The organism does what it has to do to survive. Accept this, do it yourself, and incorporate this philosophy into your love affair with your TRUE love, God. Dave said it well. It's about being IN CONTROL. You can't control her, but you can control yourself and your own soul-! You can do it, man! We guys'll be here to back you up! Man up!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Has anyone gotten counseling.. Posted: 11/12/2009 7:07:42 AM
I did when I was 18, for depression. It helped somewhat. Wasn't to "get over" someone though...it was just trying to understand life, what I wanted out of it, and relationships in general, or whether I even wanted one. Now I'm of the opinion relationships are mostly about sex. Warmth and comfort too, sure, but what keeps people glued is erotic attraction. I can use that, occasionally, then need a few days alone to recharge and reload. Counseling probably would help, as far as being able to articulate exactly what you're feeling and what you lack so why you feel the need to be in a relationship in the first place. Then be able to articulate the KIND of relationship you REALLY want, so you can focus your energy on thinking about the positive rather than the negative. Therapists are armed and equipped with a lot of psychological terms and phrases that better help you articulate in words your feelings. But don't become co-dependent on and addicted to your shrink! They're clinicians, detached. And businesspeople. Don't want to say they're only interested in your money...my therapist was a genuinely kind and caring man, but they're in practice to make money, sure, so it's in their interest (repeat business) to keep you glued to that therapy couch for the rest of your life! They are not a substitute for a flesh-and-blood relationship! They merely give you the tools. Then you need to re-enter the jungle of the world out there with a thick skin. What helps? For me, it's HUMOR. In short, exercise, laughter and watching a lot of movies and sitcoms about dysfunctional characters has been and continue to be way better therapy than a shrink for me. Less expensive too. Good luck, Brit. You're young and beautiful (inside and out) and just need to see that in yourself without relying on someone else to see it in you. You'll never change HIM. All you can change is yourself.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Should I Call The Ex? Posted: 11/12/2009 7:00:44 AM
NO. Unless you enjoy being the "fall-back on", "rebound" guy.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Anybody interested In American literature Posted: 11/12/2009 6:58:43 AM
Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway, even modern-day penners like Michael Crichton, Tom Clancy, Stephen King and Phillip K.**** Get reading!!!

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Influential Visual Artist Posted: 11/12/2009 6:55:44 AM
Surely...filmmakers! Maybe it's because of the sheer mass-market distribution and penetration of their art, but filmmakers have certainly been influential visual artists on me. Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Robert Zemeckis, George Lucas, Martin Scorcese, David Lean, Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch, Francis Ford Coppola...

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

What music currently inspires you? Posted: 11/12/2009 6:51:58 AM
Anything with a new melody-! Some mixture of notes that hasn't been concocted in quite that way before.

kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 283 (view)

What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship. Posted: 11/12/2009 6:29:58 AM
Same as any other age: Someone who I find attractive, who gets my penis hard to look at and touch, someone who shares the same interests outside of the bedroom as me (movies, exercise, photography, etc.) and someone who is kind and giving. A gardener is always appealing! I'm talking about my mother of course lol. A bit of an oedipus complex-? Someone who enjoys giving life and watching it grow and flourish.

Show ALL Forums