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0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Start off as the new partner, then become their parent Posted: 11/18/2009 3:56:35 PM
No secret I have the extroverted Type A personality combined with hyperactive adult ADD Some people like the passion of Type A personalities, but eventually the passion dies and becomes confrontational. Like everything else in life, we look for balance in our relationships, too.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

2nd chance... yes or no Posted: 11/18/2009 3:44:05 PM
I know people dont change over night but Iam hoping this time away has allowed him to really think about what he had with me in life Unfortunately, people do not change. They grow up, they mature, but deep down they do not change. Early in your relationship is the good part. The longer you're together, the more comfortable you are together and your true personalities emerge. Maybe next time it won't be rent money ... maybe you'll be in labor when he chooses to not come home ... or it'll be your child's milk money that he's spending ... I have been seeing other people and gaining my own sense of indepedance Good for you! this small part of me says No Good for you. Listen to your instincts. They talk to you and sometimes scream at you for a reason. I dont want him to think he can just come back into my life again and act like everything is fine. He is setting the pattern. He needs you because you area the responsible one. If you don't force him to pay rent, he will have no place to live. He is setting you up to take care of him and to bail him out when he spends his money on things he can't afford. When you have children with someone like him, he will just be one more child for you to take care of. Some women like to be needed this way. Most of us look for partners, men who will help balance our life and make our lives easier ... not harder.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Woooing a woman Posted: 11/12/2009 5:23:18 PM
What little things do women like that men tend to overlook? Chocolate.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Six Veterans Died Every Day In 2008 Because They Were Uninsured Posted: 11/11/2009 10:08:25 PM
Wouldn't it be nice if we could get these people some help? What are you talking about? Veterans automatically qualify for free or low cost health benefits. All they have to do is enroll. Are you asking us to do their paperwork for them? http://www4.va.gov/healtheligibility/ http://www4.va.gov/healtheligibility/Library/tools/Quick_Eligibility_Check/index.asp

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Was He Too Blunt? Posted: 11/11/2009 7:53:58 AM
Is that disrespectful telling someone you've never met in person that? Or did just get too comfortable? Lol. I don't think he's truly understanding that I'm serious about remaining celibate. He sees you as a challenge and wants to be the exception to your rule. In his mind that will boost his ego and make him feel special. But chances are he'll dump you right after having sex with you, too. He just likes knowing he can manipulate someone. Good for you for seeing through him. We are proud of you...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

why is he leading me on? Posted: 11/11/2009 7:46:02 AM
However, he is now seeking me out more and initiating more and more personal contact. When he turns the conversation personal, mention something you did with a male friend (even if you have to make something up) and then ask about his wife and tell him you hope she is doing well.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Is being upfront about what I want wrong? Posted: 11/11/2009 7:40:13 AM
but it as what it is(this is me)we all have fualts but should I be upfront with them? thanks for the insite. You are correct. We all have faults. Try looking for flexibility in a relationship. Just as you are who you are, we are who we are. To sound judgemental because you disagree or do not approve of something or someone, is not nice. We still deserve respect. Every relationship has deal breakers. There's nothing wrong with being up front about what they are, but show some tact and class as you discuss them.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

when a new guy you've met tells you he needs space to think Posted: 10/24/2009 6:10:38 AM
told his daughter my name How old is the daughter? You were moving way too fast. Consider maybe his daughter is happy for him to be dating and having some fun, but not if it's going to change her life. I know he is under alot of stress / pressure watching his bank account dwindle Wow...This is the pity play. He's going to drag you down with him on this one. I encourage you to strongly run fast from this. Be careful of men who share with you their financial status, thinking you're only interested in their money. When you deny that you're interested in only money so the guy won't think of you as a gold digger, then they'll ask you to prove it. You'll end up paying for dates, giving him money, sharing your financial picture back... it will get ugly. You're old enough to know better on this one. I noticed he changed his profile pic. yet still sends me a message here and there that he misses me, and cant wait to seee me You're kidding right? If he's updating his profile, he's still checking out what's out there. Once he has your sympathy, he'll try to get others, too. Then he'll have three or four women all supporting him. Nice gig for him...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Signs of Endearment Posted: 10/23/2009 8:00:34 PM
He acts like a gentelmen. and hopes you are a lady I agree. What I have noticed is there is never pressure to have sex. He is just interested in getting to know you, talking to you, and spending time with you. But never any pressure. When you find this, hold on to it. He will usually make your life much easier with him in it.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

I'm not a nice guy. Posted: 10/22/2009 11:29:39 PM
Yes, I'm nice to her because I'm interested in her. So when you're no longer interested you'll be mean? Don't sell women short. We know when guys are really nice and when they're faking it to get our attention. As we get older, we appreciate honesty, true character, and compatibility more than the image or the fairy tale that we set ourselves up to believe we're living. When you're young you can live those moments. Sometimes you have to in order to fully appreciate a good solid relationship when the time is right. Eventually, one's true colors will come out. Sometimes people hide their dark sides for years, but it's never forever. That is just one reason why relationships do not last for the long term. But if you're not in the relationship for the long term, what does it matter? Enjoy your time together while it lasts.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What do i take of this? Posted: 10/22/2009 11:14:15 PM
I dont know how to view this cuz usually i wont meet up with a girl again like 2 months after the initial meet if met online in the first place Timing is everything sometimes. The time for you to be friends wasn't two months ago, but maybe it is now? Relax and have fun. But always be nice.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Girl makes contact, we chat, then she disappears.. Posted: 10/21/2009 5:39:10 PM
the conversation flowed well and in both directions, all going well so far. Consider maybe it wasn't going as well as you thought.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

What gives with the whole where are we now and where are we going with this Posted: 10/21/2009 4:38:42 PM
It's not sexist if science backs it up...which it does. Cite your source, please.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

How do you nurture the spark and the flame? Posted: 10/16/2009 3:55:03 PM
What does it take to really stoke that fire and be the love of someones' life? An emotional connection. Your sparks and flames are very typical of men who are focused on the physical attraction. Women are more focused on the emotional connection we make with men. Men who are open to an emotional connection are typically more successful with women because we will feel your connection to us on a much deeper level. We can tell when you're really into us or when you're just dating us for a good time but nothing long term. So we will hold back as well waiting for the day when the flame fizzles and we both move on.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex Posted: 10/11/2009 9:10:24 PM
but it is tough when I walk away with blue balls everytime Stop doing things that give you blue balls. Take her out. Talk to her. Take her home. Kiss her good night. Call her in the morning. Are you so limited in the activities that you can do together that you have no relationship outside of sex? Stop putting pressure on her to have sex. If you must pressure someone to get your way, then you are the selfish one. Show some respect.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Am I being Paranoid Posted: 10/11/2009 8:15:47 PM
Am I being paranoid and passing up a good guy OR am I being stalked Listen to your instincts. They're screaming at you for a reason.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

why do women give out there number but then dont answer Posted: 10/11/2009 10:24:36 AM
why on gods earth do women give out there phone number after they have had a lenghty conversation with you, for you too phone or txt just have your calls ignored or txts un-answered Why on God's Earth do people not know the difference between their, there and they're? Or to, too and two? Really, how hard is this? Consider your lengthy conversation was not as intellectually stimulating as you thought.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Ever feel like or been a starter significant other? Posted: 10/11/2009 12:05:00 AM
being married with children represents a higher level of commitment. And a higher level of respect. To more than your partner but the children as well. So you think the other person will learn respect through therapy? Maybe. But think about the message you're sending the children. If the other person wants to come back and parent his or her children, then why does that automatically mean they can come back and have a spousal relationship, too? Do you really trust that in a few months or a few years when true feelings once again emerge or the other person meets someone new that you and the children won't find yourselves in this same situation? And back in therapy ... Only you can decide if that is the life you want your children to live.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Ever feel like or been a starter significant other? Posted: 10/10/2009 5:57:57 PM
One day they decide to end the relationship with no real explaination. People will constantly come and go in our lives and we should always be civil and respectful to others regardless of their behavior toward us. Fortunately, we have the luxury of ignoring rude and disrespectful people and setting the example of what true class should be. Never lower yourself or your standards and confirm that unacceptable behavior is acceptable.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

How to rekindle an old flame Posted: 10/10/2009 5:07:34 PM
How can I go about getting back with my soulmate? The first thing you do is stop thinking of her as your soul mate. You are building a fantasy in your mind that reality will not live up to. Both of you will be disappointed. Why don't you just invite her out? Send her a message on facebook if that's what you're comfortable doing, but just ask her on a date. Be very concrete. Ask her out for a very specific activity, at a very specific place on a very specific day. If she's interested she will accept or reschedule if she's busy. If she does not accept your invitation, then you need let her go and fondly remember your past juvenile crushes for what they are... Juvenile and in the past.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Just a question Posted: 10/10/2009 4:57:20 PM
She either feels rejected because you weren't eager to explore a relationship with her or she met someone else. Timing is everything sometimes.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

am i an option for him? Posted: 10/7/2009 9:10:11 PM
is separated and upon filing for D his ex started making more demands. Well, this is the good part. Most people try to avoid drama in relationships and consider it unfair for a separated person to invite someone new into their life with the inability to focus on developing a new relationship. You will be good for him because you will be his transitional person. If you see it to fruition, you will probably help him go to his next relationship a happy, healthy individual. If your main concern is for him, then you will be able to move on knowing you served your purpose for this time you were together. Who though is going to be concerned about you? Who will be there for you when he moves on and you're left behind? Consider keeping your options open, too.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Why does she say 2 different things Posted: 10/6/2009 6:31:32 PM
I am not in love with my ex and never will be again. BUT, I do love him I wish i understood the difference Do you have a sibling? Think of it like a brother and a sister. You would not be in love to the point you want to marry or have children with your sibling. But you care about that person, want them happy, healthy ... Get it?

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Should I give this woman a second chance? Posted: 10/4/2009 4:37:24 PM
Is it right for me to be angry about this after we had discussed going out for 3 days prior to this phantom phone call from a son who just wanted to come over and visit? Does this lady have issues of not being able to tell her sons no? She obviously puts them ahead of any dates. Angry? No. Disappointed, yes. I would probably have canceled, too. My children need me so little and see me so little lately that if they asked to see me and I was double booked, then I would probably cancel too. It's not an issue of not being able to tell your son no, but scheduling a time that works. Just like you're so busy working she has to fit you in when you're available. If she were so important to you, maybe you could work one day less, or one-half day less and give her a choice between Sunday and another day during the week. It sounds to me like your work is more important to you than her child should be to her. One thing you might want to consider being sensitive to is that even though our children are grown, they are still our children and they still come first. They are and always have been the most special people in our lives. Unless they are doing something illegal or hurtful, they will always have my support. I would hope that if your mother called and needed to see you that you would also rearrange your schedule for her.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

breaking dates? Posted: 10/4/2009 3:54:54 PM
Am I expecting too much too soon or is he jerking me around? Demanding respect in a relationship is never too much too soon. It's a deal breaker. Remember, the early stages of dating sets the tone of what's to come in the future. This is the good part. As you get deeper into the relationship partners tend to relax, show their true colors, and hopefully take advantage of each other in helpful, supportive ways. When you are being mistreated early in a relationship and stay in that relationship, then you shouldn't be shocked when the relationship goes from unhealthy to unhealthier. Very few relationships are lucky enough to go from healthy to healthier. Those are the ones that last and take effort from both partners to grow. You, my dear, are in an unhealthy relationship. Remind your partner that your decisions are based on his decisions. When he decides to make a date and then break it, you decide to terminate relationships. It's really that simple.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

She won't talk to me again if I do it Posted: 9/28/2009 5:32:57 PM
How can I tell her its just not that easy to stop like this? You can't. And more importantly... you don't. She is looking for a man. A man who will suck it up, fight through the tough stuff and be stronger than all the outside forces that surround the both of you individually and together. Will you be that man? Or will you be the little boy who wants someone like his mother who will give him unconditional love, wear blinders and make excuses for all the poor choices he makes and never has to suffer the consequences of those poor choices. Remember, we will make decisions based on your decisions. Make a choice. Know you can't have it both ways.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

What the hell??? Ladies im stupid! Posted: 9/1/2009 6:28:30 PM
exactly at what point should i say hi, There is never a wrong time for this. Always say, "Hi!" Her response will be your key to move forward or back off. If she smiles at you, turns toward you, gives you her full attention, then introduce yourself. If she smiles, looks away, barely responds, then back off.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Does being nice & complementing women work anymore? Posted: 9/1/2009 5:33:33 PM
Define attraction? So when a man possesses a certain characteristic that appeals to your emotional interests your vagina will magnetically pull itself towards his penis? Well, I will tell you this is definitely not attractive. It's tasteless, classless and reinforces why women do not respond. You are definitely selling the women here short if you don't think we can read between your lines and know if we're chatting with a real gentleman. What if civilization destroyed itself and you had to mate with a man your not attracted too for the survival of our species? Are you going to let your emotions get in the way of logic? Lucky for me civilization has not destroyed itself. Rest assured though...I would eagerly let civilization die if my only choice of saving it was perpetuating a vicious, ugly cycle. I encourage you to look deeper than just assuming we are emotional creatures that do not also look for intelligence, respect and support in our relationships. Men who can articulate their feelings with class, style and humor are far more successful than boys who think women are a means to their sexual end. The sex is the icing on the cake. But to get there you first have to bake the cake... Slowly, carefully, and with love. Then the sex will come and be mutually satisfying for both partners.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Does being nice & complementing women work anymore? Posted: 8/31/2009 5:48:48 PM
I don't think you need to speak for other men. Do a thread search and you will see other men are already here posting the same tiresome question. I will share with you that the only reason women are not responding to you is because you are contacting women who are not attracted to you. We do like nice, charming, gentlemen. However, if compliments appear insincere or come from someone we are not attracted to then they are annoying. While I can't speak for all women, I will tell you that smoking, even occassionally, and tatoos are turnoffs to me. I would probably not respond to you either. Unless you said something really funny, friendly and light-hearted ... but then I would only tell you that I thought you were a nice, funny guy and wish you luck in your search.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Should I let my son's dad see him? Posted: 8/30/2009 8:07:08 PM
Have you ever had to wonder whether or not your child will hate you when they get older because you never let their father see them? And how will you feel when your son hates you because you didn't protect him from abuse? It's natural for our children to look for ways that we go wrong. Don't even go there. You are the parent. It's your job to parent your child. You do it by making the best decisions you can with the resouces available to you at the time you're forced to make the decision. Parenting will never be easy. But you have an obligation to your son to keep him safe, raise him to be a highly productive member of society and for goodness sake break the pattern of abuse. If his dad's name is not on the birth certificate this will be easier for you. If it's an issue for your son, then let him make the decision when he's 18. At least he'll have a chance to be raised without negative influences.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 62 (view)

Dealbreaker? How to handle in casual dating?? Posted: 8/30/2009 7:50:39 PM
He of course denies and minimizes the significance of the drug issue. Most people with addictions will. You should neither be surprised by this nor manipulated. And then claims that I am punishing him for his honesty. And I realize he is right You're kidding, right? He's supposed to lie to you so that you can be in a relationship under false pretenses? He has an obligation to be honest so that you can make an informed decision about the person you're dating. If he thinks he's being punished for being a loser then maybe he should stop being a loser. The blame goes to him not to you. What does he want from you? To change your standards and morals so that you will accept him for whatever behaviors he chooses to maintain? Good for you for moving on from this guy. Do not trust anything he says or does. He is just tying to reel you in and will say or do whatever he thinks you want to hear. This is the type of guy that you don't even give the courtesy of telling him you're moving on. He will argue with you and try to change your mind. Just stop taking his calls and he will forget about you when he finds someone else to manipulate.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

just a question Posted: 8/29/2009 8:21:50 AM
It's only been a week. Give it a few months. Maybe she's not really as into you as you think... maybe she's tying up loose ends with other relationships... maybe she's just chatting with friends... Don't read more into this than is really there. Relax, be yourself, be nice and date. Keep it fun and drama free. Good luck to you.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

what do you do when your wife is no longer interested in sex? Posted: 8/16/2009 7:42:29 PM
"look, I am XX years old, I have X children, and I am just not interested in having sex anymore". There's typically only one reason a woman is not interested in sex and it's usually because her partner is selfish and no good at it. I agree with the other comments about therapy. You really need to find out what will make her feel sexy again and focus on making her feel good. If your wife is not typical and there are other circumstances then all the more reason to seek therapy to find out what they are and overcome them.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Is he trying to act cool or just not interested? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:59:54 PM
Been seeing/dating a guy for just over a month. First of all, a month is not a long time, however, it's long enough that if you're going to continue to date after that time each person in the relationship should be open and honest. I guess I should of just told him who it was but I didn't think it was any of his business. I would disagree with you and say that it was his business. You're holding back and he knows it. He's not willing to play your game. he knew I had an ex in Edmonton and I think he was assuming I was going there to see him he wanted to spend more time with me but I had errands to run. Not telling him your dinner plans, or letting him believe you're seeing your ex or not willing to spend time with him instead of running errands all puts him at the bottom of the list. He wants to be first with you and if you won't reciprocate then he'll move on. I had a strange feeling that something in him suddenly made him change his mind about me. I'm an advocate of listening to your instincts. I think you're right. He changed his mind about you...as would I.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Keeping a relationship question? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:45:15 PM
So I'm asking what does it take to keep a good woman after I have gotten her? Respect. Being critical is not being respectful. If something is bothering you about the other person, you should open the communication or move out of the relationship. Trying to change a person or a relationship to meet your needs will never work long term. You're still meeting the wrong women. Or you're unknowingly ruining a good relationship as a test to see if the other person will put up with your crap and continue to date you. The good woman is the one who won't play that game. Therefore, as long as you cannot be mature and respectful of the relationship, you will never have a good woman.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Free time vs dating time Posted: 8/10/2009 5:29:28 PM
Wow... very difficult to read, but you caught me at the birthday part. Been there and it sucks. Dump him for that. but should I just chalk this up as a long time single man who just can't adapt back into being part of a couple again.... No. This is a guy who is setting you up for booty call. That's all you're ever going to get from him. Keep dating and go for the booty if it's that good. But don't expect more than that... ever. be patient, see him when I can and see where it goes You're kidding, right? You can already see where this is going. This is as good as it gets, babe. Everyone is on their best behavior when they first meet. It's only after a few months that the true colors come out. I don't think he's that into you. If he was into you long term he would have remembered your birthday so next year he could have done something better. But he knows you're not going to be around next year so he's not investing in this year. It really sucks when we like someone more than they like us, but cut your losses now. Good luck...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Help - Received distressed message Posted: 8/9/2009 12:30:26 PM
It sounds like he's messaging a lot of women and is striking out. Ergo, he's going down fast or sinking in the dating pond. If you're not interested in him, do not message him back.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

How's A Guy Supposed To Know If He's Good Looking? Posted: 8/9/2009 12:22:42 PM
I would like to encourage you to keep several things in mind when meeting women and dating. First, a guy who needs compliments tends to have low self esteem. This is a turn off for many women. Secondly, many women are not as physical as men. Men tend to look at physical attributes to determine if a woman is attractive enough to pursue. Women will too, but on a much smaller scale. They will find men with a sense of humor, drama free, and chivalrous much more attractive than the buff body, or the classic good looks. A lot of guys with classic good looks tend to have the ego to go with their good looks and are known for using or taking advantage of women because they have their pick of so many. A good woman will not want to get caught up in that brat pack. So, if you can be nice, charming, and well spoken, you will find you are automatically attractive. You will have fun and be successful in the majority of your dating experiences. Good luck to you...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

If you could, give a look! Posted: 8/5/2009 5:57:47 PM
I liked your profile. It's very informative. I think it starts out a little negatively, and pen pal is misspelled. Raised is misspelled. My dad's side is misspelled. Traveled is misspelled. Whether is misspelled. College is misspelled. I don't know what carrier of choice means. Do you mean career? Anybody is misspelled. And whether again, it's, whatever, won't, prey, and can't are all misspelled. Any who (?) Seriously consider changing that... The typos make it very difficult to read. If you didn't have much success the last time you were here, you may want to consider reading what you write more carefully. It seems to turn a lot of people off sometimes. Remember you're in a venue that relies on the written word. Also, proper grammar and puncutation will make a much better first impression. Good luck to you.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Mixed signals and quantity? Posted: 7/8/2009 6:58:42 PM
Since it's long distance, you should have confirmation from her that she will definitely be there before you go. But confidently leave a message that you're looking forward to seeing her.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Help me Chaps Posted: 7/4/2009 11:49:01 AM
he txt's me it's over '' I loved you for the wrong reasons'' and thinks he has made a mitake.. So, his reasons for loving you are now suddenly right? If he made a mistake, why does he not have a consequence for that mistake? Are your emotions such trivial matters that he can play with them, disrespect you, and then come back into your life as if nothing happened? You are the one setting the tone to be mistreated this way. Men confuse me maybe you could help, I mean how much do you try for someone if you think they are the one. If you are confused now, just know this is as good as it will get. If you are trying hard now, be prepared to try even harder the deeper you get into the relationship. Consider maybe you think this guy is something he is really not. You're seeing a side of him that is fake, that he wants you to be attracted to, but it's not really who he is. Let him go... Take a deep breath and let him go...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Single Dad Raising an 11 Year Boy Alone Posted: 7/2/2009 4:16:18 PM
My advice is start your talks early and have them often. My boys were about that age when they had the "Human Growth and Development" class in fifth grade. Boy, the questions ... I was thinking, "I have an OB GYN on my hands here." We had some really serious talks about how important it was to have really strong feelings for a girl... Never have sex with a woman you wouldn't want to marry. And absolutely ALWAYS use a condom. No excuses, no exceptions. Unfortunately, the sex is going to happen and you're really not going to be able to stop it. If your feelings are too strong about not doing it at all, he'll do it and hide it from you. When he's this young, he understands more about waiting until marriage and not having sex unless it's with his wife. It won't be until high school (14-16) when all his friends start to become active that the pressure will start and he'll have a better understanding of girls and their willing participation. That's when the condom talks will flash back into his mind. I still find condoms in my son's car and while it freaks me out on the inside, I'm proud of him for using protection. Two of his friends had a baby together last year and while they claim that was planned, I think he realizes it's not someplace that he wants to go so young in his life. The other side is the girls. They like being attractive to the boys and are naively clueless as to the effect they really have on boys. So also stress to your son that even though the girls act like it's okay with them, it's really not okay and to leave the girls alone. Good luck to you.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

whats his problem???? Posted: 7/2/2009 3:14:33 PM
I don't want to be another girl that dad brought home. Very good advice. Personally, my timetable is 12 months. And I don't even have small children. He is being very smart and very cautious without trying to hurt your feelings. He's not even divorced yet. You are probably his transitional person and if your children were to get attached to him, then he would feel some responsibility toward them when he moves on. He's trying to save himself the guilt. And your children the hurt. Respect his feelings for now. He's probably doing you a favor in the long run. The babysitter issue is yours and not his. It has nothing to do with him. If a person's only way to "date" is at their home with a dvd or whatever they really need to reevaluate if they are even in a position to date. I agree with this too.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

why are guys like this? Posted: 6/28/2009 10:09:56 PM
If your responses are written in text speak or incredibly grammatically incorrect like your original post in this thread, I would not respond either.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Let me know what you think! Posted: 6/27/2009 7:42:53 AM
I'm up for anything that lends to us actually talking and getting to know each other more. Do you mean leads?

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Check it out... Posted: 6/26/2009 9:25:15 PM
I would eliminate this sentence: People I encounter today are so predictable, work, gossip, sports, it's all the same! Sounds pretty negative. Try to keep your profile funny and positive. What do you like to do for fun? If you want women to email you, what would you like them to say? What do you want to talk about? You're not looking for a relationship, so that is out. Try to include some conversation starters in your profile. Ask some questions that women would be compelled to answer when reading your profile. If you have any passions about music, or art or politics that you could elaborate on, maybe then women would be able to pick up on something intellectually stimulating to both of you. Good luck... ^^^Well then fill in your first date section with something fun to do that when a woman reads it she will want to contact you.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

My profile is lame, any advice on how to fix it? Posted: 6/26/2009 9:14:08 PM
Well, for the most part your profile is very well written. Laid off is misspelled, but the rest of it was a very informative and easy to read. One thing I noticed is that your profile was very serious. Do you have a sense of humor? It did not show in your writing. I realize moving and being laid off are not things to joke about, but what do you like to do for fun? You don't have a First Date section, so it's difficult for me to imagine what dating you would be like. You very eloquently state what you're looking for in a woman, but tell us what you can bring to a relationship. Consider removing the part of viewing yourself as a prize and focus on what a woman can love about you. A sense of humor is usually first and foremost. Then activities we may have in common. You don't list any interests so it's difficult for women to know what we may have in common with you and they are also big conversation starters. If you had dancing as one of your interests, you might be surprised with a message one day inviting you to take a woman dancing... One never knows...

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

What can I do? Posted: 6/26/2009 11:37:26 AM
When making your first contact, maybe you could mention that you are in Afghanistan and looking to find a friend to chat with and help pass the time you are away from home. I would think something low pressure and friendly would get you a response. We definitely appreciate your service to our country and would be eager to support you while you're overseas. If chatting with you helps you and gives you a little something to look forward to when you return, then we are doing our part, too. Good luck to you and stay safe.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Why is it that women take things for face value? Posted: 6/25/2009 11:47:18 PM
Why is it women take things for face value Well, we could read between the lines and assume the same things. Then what would you complain about? I think it's your pictures. Your lack of smile seems unapproachable and a little mean. The eyes are definitely unfriendly. My first choice in a potential mate is a sense of humor and a picture that shows a friendly, outgoing, fun guy.

0wiseone

Joined: 12/23/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

New to this whole thing and have a few questions. Posted: 6/25/2009 11:31:51 PM
But why should I put my life on hold till that little piece of paper is signed? Because you're being selfish if you don't. You are not free to commit to another woman no matter that you say, The marriage is definately done though The marriage is not done until that little piece of paper is signed. And there is lots of drama in the negotiation of the settlement. Most of us have been there and we know what's ahead for you and we don't want to live it again with you even if it is vicariously.

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