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Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 323 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/23/2009 8:37:38 PM
Celtic Wolf, my post was in response to another POF who stated that she felt that those with long hair felt the need to hide behind it. I simply replied that I feel no need to hide behind long hair. I love having long hair. I love the way it sweeps across my back. I love the way I can pull it forward and smell its fresh fragrance and twirl it between my fingers and trail it up the stomach of the one I love. So, please, read the former posts before replying to mine. I meant no harm. I just love having long hair and those with short hair are just different kinds of people, that's all. No problem

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 312 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/22/2009 7:48:50 PM
I'm a women who feels no need to hide behind long hair, but must express myself in a myriad of ways. The hair is just a pallet there for expression. Most women over 50 with short hair seem to be proud of their pelican pouches...like they can go fishing and save the meal for a day or two which also shows on their hips and thighs. Glasses aren't relegated to the older set. But why not at least TRY to get fitted for contacts or get lasik surgery? Fertility over 50......why not? Fertility doesn't just denote the ability to get pregnant. It is the essence of feminity to be full of hormonal juices. So many women of age think it is the "right" thing to do to become round, flabby and non hormonal. Or worse yet, skinny as dried apple people. There is a happy medium. I think one of the worst things a woman can do to herself is to just accept what some geek in the style magazines says is chic for her to wear. Gwendolyn on here does her own thing, and there are many other older women who express themselves and don't buy into the I'm over 40 so I must follow suit thing.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 630 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/22/2009 7:38:39 PM
The guy who says he has achieved the epitomy....worked to put his kids through college will most likely be the parent visitng his kid in drug rehab or paying for the spoiled little azzholes cable bill, his car repairs, his girlfriends unwanted pregnance, etal... The guy who drives a statement car and thinks he can rest on his laurels and find a woman who has done the same, is in for a rude awakening. Everything he has worked for and I mean everything can be lost in a second, in the blink of an eye. True, he doesn't need to ferret around in a chicken coop of losers and boozers who thump a cigarette through acrylic nails and wear cheap Payless shoes that reek of foot odor, but what makes him think a tight assed twit is any better than a woman who has worked all her life being the arm candy of a CEO and the mother to his emotionally damaged children? Each of us measures success in different ways. I avoid the pansy azzed white collar limp dwicked dude like the Beubonic plague. Know why? They are boring and shallow and full of themselves...JMO

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome? Posted: 11/22/2009 7:26:04 PM
I read all the comments and agree they are pretty funny...but why would the word "handsome" somehow be synonomous with a seasoned woman?? Now, I've seen plenty of "Pats", women who start to look just like men like someone came and sucked up all their femininity and left them nothing but androgens. But, trust me, I've seen plenty of younger women with moustaches...I work with a lot of them and they have names like Carmella and Conchita. Also with hairy arms and love trails... I don't know why, but some nationalities just seem to produce a lot of hair and kankles (no break between the calves and ankles)...and clunky feet, huge heels and chubby toes. But "handsome".....still think it is the Brunhilda type, the Swedish masseuse with the arms of steel and the face that could chop wood.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 611 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/22/2009 7:10:32 AM
Being broke isn't a cardinal sin in a relationship. Its the guy who too readily accepts his brokness and settles in with a woman who has a job and is self reliant. He watches her tv, eats her food, piddles a little at cleaning or repairs, grouses about his joblessness and brokeness all the while he could even be working at Burger King or bussing tables or even one of those work for pay places to earn money. Its all about attitude and the knowledge bred into or taught the young boy growing up into manhood that it IS the man's responsibility to care for, to provide for and to protect his own wife and family. It is up to the woman how much she is willing to tolerate and to see if the scales even come close to balancing. If he isn't her husband, he has absolutely NO responsibility other than that that was taught to him by his parents to her or the home. I personally can't abide a couch potato, loser, leach who is two faced, whining and angry or bitter about his situation all the while munching on a chocolate bar in front of the TV football game while GF doesn't let the door hit her in the back on her way to work to support the both of them.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome? Posted: 11/22/2009 7:03:01 AM
Being a handsome woman to me means she is a "Brunhilda"....Norwegian, Viking, broad shoulders, strong arms, angular face, big feet but not ugly. You wouldn't want to get in a fight with a "Brunhilda" because she would pound you into the ground like a sledge hammer on a spike then giggle and bound off to the woods to chop down a tree or break in a horse. She usually has a pip squeak for a boyfriend or husband. You've seen the type, Spongebob at the top and tiny little bird legs and tiny ankles with big feet. He is a "yes, dear" type who adores her masculinity. Like Ms. Doubtfire and her hairy legs and the bus driver who had a crush on her...lol

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Can a relationship really last if diff sex drives? Posted: 11/22/2009 6:56:30 AM
Yes, if he is Johnny Depp and you just worship him ......Pulleeze, girl. You have only known him for 3 months. I'll bet you don't even know yourself yet. I've found that if you respect yourself, everyone else will too. You are not in this world to keep some guy sexually satisfied and happy while you use "toys". Being in a committed relationship should mean that both of you are happy and satisfied. If he has feelings for you, he should do everything in his power to make sure you are mutually satisfied and equally happy. There is so much more to life than having sex. What about making love? What about loving someone and wanting to show that love in a physical way? Nah...you're just having an extended date with this guy and obviously not thrilled about it. Go home and take a shower and spend some time with the next one.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 136 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/17/2009 7:30:30 AM
Another Jane Doe, thank you so much!! Your response is exactly what I was looking for and hoping for. You know what they say about "opinions, they are like azzholes, everyone has one." Real life experience coupled with sound research and results are much more beneficial than analyzing one's physical attributes...lol I did come to the realization that this man fits the description of an abuser. He related to me that he was physically beaten with fists by his father whom he loved and respected, he was beaten by his older sister who he claims was his best friend and cohart. He saw his dad worship his mother and seems to have grown up in a small community in NY city which was of a certain ethnic background. Therefore he calls people of color a horrid name, Hispanics are also called a terrible name, he called the woman at the water company Frankenstein....now he's starting to ask me if the peroxide is affecting my brain when I have a memory lapse. I will not be treated like a dumb blonde or a second class citizen by anyone. He hasn't met my grandchildren or my children yet. That would be a trainwreck waiting to happen. So, thank you again for your great and caring advice and to all of you who let me have it with both barrels. The truth hurts but living in a fantasy world hurts worse...

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 265 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/16/2009 7:28:00 PM
Women with long hair denote fertility. A baby chimp grasps the long tendrils hanging from its mothers head when it feeds. Women with short hair are more masculine and for some reason which I cannot understand, it seems women turn 50 and hear some distant trumpet coming from the "beauty parlor" a siren song calling them to march in and get their hair cut, don a tshirt and glasses and stop wearing makeup and don a pair of Nikes.... I call it the "march of the estrogens". You see a couple in their 50's or 60's and beyond...from behind they look just alike. You wonder, which one is the man and which one is the female?? Pats all. I've seen very few sexy women with short hair. But then I see a man with long hair and I think he must be a computer nerd or a pseudo intellect or a beach comber or a surfer dude. Yes, I'm opinionated and all that....oh well, my hair is long and is not dark auburn. Next week it will still be long but it may have blonde strands. I do my own thing and that's about all I have to say about that.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

independent women fall the hardest Posted: 11/16/2009 7:19:49 PM
I don't understand what you mean by "fall the hardest". No one "falls" in love. Love is a calculated, coreographed, pre-meditated decision to hook up with another person. You trip over a branch and fall, that isn't a choice. So, that is to say, I had no self control, I just tripped and fell into an intimate situation.....that is hubris. Independence is something an intelligent person acquires through experience and self confidence. Self confidence is built through testing and trial. If you can be completely alone and enjoy your own company, that is independence....not how much clout you carry on the job or how many "toys" you acquire. If you can be alone and entertained by your own mind and your own thoughts, you are truly independent. Another person is just an added facet to an already complete person. It takes a moron to "fall" into a love situation like a caveman clubbing a woman over the head and dragging her off to sire a man child.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

honest answer... Posted: 11/16/2009 7:09:37 PM
I really don't know the answer to this. All I know is that when we truly love someone their welfare becomes more important than even our own. We feel a gaping hole when they are gone and we enjoy life when we are together. If they make you laugh, all the better, if they stimulate your mind and you can argue a point and still remain friends, all the better. If you share many of the same interests and create your own "language" together, then you have found what some people who have been married for decades haven't found. Its not up to any one of us to define what love is, what relationship is and who has the upper hand. If it works for the two of you, then its all good. If there comes the day when he meets someone and falls for them or you do, then you will know it wasn't a LTR.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 469 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/16/2009 6:55:53 PM
Well, I, like many women, work to support myself and because I do, I expect a man I'm with to at least do the same. The tables have turned in our society however, many men have become barracuda's out stalking for women who have possessions, a job, a car, and they move right in and become the male version of the perverbial "gold digger". It is my experience that very few women are that desperate though. It doesn't take long to smell a gold digger and ferret them out and send them packing.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 124 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/15/2009 6:30:22 PM
...and honestly, I don't expect anyone on here to feel anything for me, but it hurts just the same. Yep, I'm admitting pain. It hurts to know that you allowed yourself to be deceived. I can be a hard azzed vocal biatch....but I have feelings and I have to admit, I'm going to miss his silliness and his humor. Oh well, on to the Iris Pub in Orlando and dance the night away....unpack boxes, cry a little, pat my dog, and hope that maybe, just maybe, there are good people left in the world. Good people who have the ability to genuinely care about others and value them.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 122 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/15/2009 6:26:07 PM
Well, I bit the bullet today and broke it off with him.....REASON??!! I found his smiling face on about 3, count em folks, 3-4 dating websites and the photos were recent and he was still looking.... We've been corresponding for about 5 months and in the past 2-3 months he has been at my house more than his own. Maybe I'm reading more into this than I should, but why would this man single me out to take advantage of and blatantly try to lay a guilt trip on me for calling him out on it? I don't mean to be niave, but could there be men out there that crass and calloused as to move into your apartment with you, have you pay his moving expenses, all the deposits and fees and first and last months rents etal, all the while going on MDC and DHU and all the free dating and costly dating websites looking for someone else??!! Obviously it can and did happen. This man has a master's in behavioral science and specializes in substance abuse. I got an email from his state trooper daughter telling me that if I ever wander into upstate NY, she is going to make me regret sending her "daddy dearest" a nasty email breaking up with his sorry loser azz. Wow, just wow....I guess I am just a babe in the woods.....because people never cease to amaze me.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 143 (view)

A Plugged up Toilet, so she packed up and left?! Should I let it go? Posted: 11/10/2009 6:23:47 AM
She was a "princess" in her own eyes and a real friend wouldn't take advantage of someone who is a giver like yourself. When one person does all the giving, the person on the receiving end loses respect for them. How can you respect a doormat? Nice guys DO finish last..sweetie. Dump her and get new friends, please. This is from a woman with experience as a giver.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Dating when is it appropriate to take yourself off the market? Posted: 11/10/2009 6:14:14 AM
I just posted along the same lines in Waiting for the other shoe to drop. If a man keeps himself on the open market after meeting you and "making plans", it is my opionion that we should dump them because (1) they must have very low self esteem and need females to bolster it by approaching them (2) they still have reservations about us (3) they are too lazy and thinking if I get out of all these dating websites, it will be a pain in hte azz when I have to join all of them again.

zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/10/2009 6:10:22 AM
Can't believe I'm seeing a 60 year old women flonting those pictures and responding like she is! I know, right?? So spank me! Yep, I'm just who I am, have always been and will always be. I asked my Dad once how he could stand to be with mom who is a spunky, outspoken, opinionated cutie. He just looked at me and said, "Honey, I couldn't live for one day with a woman who is like milk toast." "Yes, dear, can I do anything for you dear?" He stated my mom is an exciting woman who doesn't follow any drummer but is her own woman and he loves her dearly. They have been married for 64 yrs and the love and excitement is still there. My grandma was riding bareback into the canyons of Wyoming elk hunting when she was 78. My other grandmother was 98 and still flirting and having a good time until the day she passed. The women in my family are strong and unique and require strong mates. Its just the way it is. Like I said, I'll play along with the relationship until that straw comes along, then I'll end it. Just like that.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Does it change Posted: 11/8/2009 10:27:15 PM
When you "have sex" with another person, the two of you become "one". At that point, you are no longer separate entities. Biologically, your bodily fluids have mingled and if they were to co-join, another life could enter the world. So, to have "sex" for recreation is as stupid as recreational drug use. Have a drink instead. It is better for you and doesn't cause as many emotional snares and pitfalls and entanglements as mingling your genetics with another human being. Now, making love or showing love or demonstrating real love to another human being is quite another story. If you love someone, you are thinking with your head and not your**** You are thinking about them, about their future, about their health both mentally and spiritually.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 10:21:06 PM
Well, public flogging isnn't pleasant, soxfan, so take is for what it is. On the other hand, I have gleaned a lot of valuable info from about half the posters and that is what I was looking for. A second pair of eyes is better than one. I know myself very well and those who have known me from prior posts know I am a very strong woman who is unabashed and unashamed. I will toy with the relationship as long as I care to and then when I tire of it or it proves to be cumbersome, I will end it. I'm not married and enjoy that fact very much....there is much liberty in being single. So, maybe your two barrels would have also been appreciated. That is......unless you are persuaded by the ying yangs who have absolutely no experience and are prone to compare every woman to their own mothers, who undoubtedly they have never given any thought to getting to know personally.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 10:12:08 PM
I am seriously rolling in the floor over the niavite' of the clueless bimbo above. She couldn't be further from the truth. I absolutely have no envy, only pity for the stupidity and genuine blindness of the Pampers set. Why would any woman who has been there and done that want to trade places with a bimbo who thinks she is sanctimonious for hiding what may or may not be there, for holding that imaginary carrot out for the donkey's of the world to strive for? That is the smoke and mirrors of the age. She can come and talk to me when she has some clout, some credibility to joust with. I can be just as innocently precocious and just as hot and sweaty in a one on one encounter as she, but the beauty of it is, I won't be hunting a man down to support an unwanted pregnancy for 18 yrs....plus. I in my happiness and satisfaction with my status regarding health, appearance, enjoyment of life, anticipation, spontaneousness, and sensuousness, challenge her and others like her shut the Frick up and let it be. Let others be. There are many, many gorgeous, sexy women of age who are happy, and above you sexually, mentally, sensuously, physically, and spiritually . Just look at yourself. You look like about 99% of other females in your age group.....boring, predictable, hormonally driven, listening to your biological clocks, hoping, praying for a mate before it is too late. I've already had 4 mates. I loved them all. Now I'm free. I have nothing to lose and no clocks are ticking. Yes, I'm proud of my body and what a great body it is! It responds just as wonderfully at my age as it did when I was 20, so chill out and give it up. Someday if you are lucky enough, you might be able to enjoy yourself like I do without all the hangups and baggage of a hormonally driven walking womb such as yourself.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 7:07:14 PM
Really? Really? Sorry, dude, its like living in a hobo camp with a fire burning in the barrel and the sleeping bags round.... Crunch time is here and in the crunch, there are no positives and negatives, there is only one thing, survival and lack of boredom. You have a lot of growing up to do...if the sight of a mature woman's loveliness and assets disturbs you. Lets hope that some day you may meet a woman who maintains her loveliness and her sexuality until the day she returns to her maker. But, then, you probably wouldn't know what to do with a woman like that and that is what brings me full circle back to the men who are like Johnny Depp. Mature, sexy, swarthy, sensuous, unpredictable, powerful and exciting....go back to your cubie, dear and wait for the boss to say "its alright".

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 6:27:13 PM
i kind of had the same feelings when i saw her main photo. i mean what on earth are you thinking posting a pic like that with half your boob exposed?? if you were my grandmother or mother i'd be so embarrassed. you must be quite desperate because someone who is 60 really should have more sense and class, geez. guess what? you don't have to post revealing photos to meet a man. frankly i'm not surprised you are meeting a bunch of low class losers. if you don't post better photos, that is all you will meet. I live in FL where the weather is warm and hot and moist all the time, where the branches of the palm trees sway and spread for the sunlight to infiltrate and heat every inch of the fertile ground. Where clothing is an option. So sorry you live in a frozen denizen of the US. Sucks for you honey. BTW, it wouldn't hurt your chances here to show em what you're workin with....if you know what I mean. You just have no idea what life is all about yet. Grow up and stop judging others. You might want to check and see that you don't have one lodged up your azz....honey. A guy might consider you for a gal pal or someone just like good ole mom, but other than that.....you have nothing going for you.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 6:18:02 PM
I know you weren't responding to me but....from this post and others I recall of your experienes with men, these aren't all entirely the brightest of men you've associated with, unless their brightness is with respect to how to undermine and use women. I'm just saying.... You tend to defend the indefensible...why? Thanks for the reply. This one has a master's in behavioral science...lol I've read all the posts and from what I can glean, there are about three things to save out of the sifting. 1- I tend to think "nice" men are boring and to be bored is the slowest kind of horrible death to me. But, a guy doesn't have to be a rude prick to be interesting. I think, possibly, I've never really known what it was like to be with an intelligent, interesting, financially comfortable, FLEXIBLE man with the ability to maintain a stiff sexual attitude...lol, if you catch my drift, who loves children and is tolerant to the nth degree and who would appreciate and adore a woman who is like Goldie Hawn/Gen. Patton. Given those parameters, that narrows the male population down to about 5 men out of a thousand...lol 2- Also, the prudes can't seem to digest that a woman of my age can indeed be sexy, desirable and an equal competetor in the playing field as noted from one of the above ding dongs. 3- Unfortunately, the Goldie Hawn side wins out a lot and the Gen. Patton side gets little airplay leaving a frustrated soul to deal with the absurdities of life. So, I hope I'm not defending stupidity and boorishness, rather, defending my stance as someone who enjoys her independence and with a zest for adventure and a healthy sexual nature who doesn't tolerate ignorance from either sex. But who can't abide the idea of spending the rest of my life however long it may be, with an inferior individual who bores me to distraction and who only wants a "good" woman to take care of him and tolerate his failing libido and his moth eaten wallet. I work for a living and I support myself as best I can. My wallet and my arms are open to those who deserve it and that would be the innocents, the ones who I brought into this world and feel a certain responsibility toward. Most of the dear men I've encountered are coming to me at this stage of their lives having spent the best years of their lives taking care of another spouse, and children, having worn their bodies out supporting those others, who now are broken, lonely, broke, aging and just looking for someone like me who does have a big heart and who is a caring person.. When they say, they are looking for a good hearted woman to spend the rest of their lives with, what they are really saying is, "I want a vulnerable, dimwit with a big heart who knows how to cook and clean to take care of me while I age and my health fails. Sorry, that is my observation at this stage in my life, so yes, I am looking out for number one. I am taking care of myself and making plans to visit Europe again and going on a cruise and spending three months in Mexico.....

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/8/2009 1:06:41 PM
I don't think you should date until you get a couple of years of professional mental health help, not only to break your cycle of abusive relationships and your part in them, but to protect your children & grandchildren from the type of men you bring home! Seriously, you seem to think this is funny, but if you must continue trying to attract these losers, please keep them away from your innocent bystander family member. Thanks for your concern for my innocent family members, but since you know absolutely nothing about my family or the innocence of such, I will have to ask you to sit down. I protect those who are innocent and in my care. I am like a wounded lioness should anyone even hint at harming even one hair of their heads. This I can promise you. But, seems the thing to do is jump to conclusions based on self experience here. The men I choose to be with are first intelligent, not run of the mill, challenging and interesting. I guess I'm just not willing to "settle" for boring, predictable, not very bright and with one thing on their minds and that is trying to compensate for low mentality by trying to impress women with their sexual workouts. No thanks, I prefer lovemaking to sex for exercise.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 59 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 9:10:46 PM
The FWB I had told me her ex was so impotent that I was the only good sex she'd ever had. Plus I introduced her to anal sex and deepthroat. Ha, ha, ha.....ha...I'm about to fall out of my chair laughing at the ludicrous flapjaw on this wise guy whose mother must have told him a man's job is to be a walking****stick. "I introduced her to anal sex and deepthroat." Yeah, I'll bet you did. Anal sex hurts like Hell, com'on ladies, admit it. It hurts like hell and the bleeding hemorrhoids afterwards and the deep throat is for the male, not the female. Yeah, like every lady enjoys having something crammed down her esophagus ..... What is it that certain men think their only value is as a Trojan horse-dicked bush poker? I guess its that they haven't enough brains so to make up for it they pride themselves in becoming human dildos. There is something to be said for love and caring and devotion and protectiveness and chivalry. I would much rather have an impotent man who is all the above than a two legged dildo. After all the climax is over in a day or two, but then you have to roll over and look at the "object" of your sexual performance. Its not a person with a family and a heart and soul. Its a piece of meat with a huge ass and a potential suck on your wallet for the next 18 yrs or more. If it ain't love and adoration and devotion and commitment, mixed with intelligence, kindness, gentleness and affection, then you can keep your six pack and your sweaty azz.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 8:57:29 PM
People like you make me wonder........ I suppose I'd have to see it with my own eye to believe anyone could be this clueless. You are "dim"..........and alot of other things. How did you ever get through twenty years of marriage? I don't believe it. Lol....Well, I suppose people like YOU have a handle on intelligence, relationships, long term relationships and really just have the upper hand in all things. People like YOU, make me realize why people like ME wind up with ***holes and abusers....they seem like wise gentle giants in comparison. But then, from your lofty heights above all others, I'm sure a dating website such as the one YOU are ON....is just a mere pastime while you are in between successful relationships...yeah, right, whatever dude...

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 7:26:36 PM
Lady he has already thrown a closet of shoes at you. You may have a good time with him some of the time, the sex is probably great and if you have been alone for a while, having someone around sure is nice but this man is not treating you well at all. Nope, without going into any detail, I'm like an 16 yr. old on her first prom date when it comes to sex, and he is like being out with an 8 yr. old in every way, not that I know what that would be like. I love sex and making love. He is unable even with the aid of the blue pill to make it happen in a "normal" way. I enjoy, as Al Green would say, "getting it on" and all that being able to maintain a solid union entails.....I found an 'erector set' in my grandson's bedroom recently when I was packing to move and I got all excited for about a second until I realized it didn't say 'erection set'. Catch my drift??!! I'm to feel like a hoochie momma for wanting penetration?? Oh well.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 7:19:44 PM
lets see (1) he has not let go of the past... does he compare you to his late spouse? (2) he is trying to drive a wedge between you and the ones close to you (3) he is commanding and controlling... and has bouts of uncontrolled rage now this one is the one that you should pay close attention to... "He is also rude to people, outspoken, loud and insulting to people in public."....they say to see someones true charter observe how they treat waitstaff.... it tends to bring out their true character.... He has a photo of her holding one of their grandchildren. She has curly long hair that is blondish....and she is skinny, course, she had liver cancer and that undoubtedly would make you skinny....oush! He says he wants me to have the same hairstyle as her and the same color.. He saw a photo of me when I was foxy forty and back in the day, I had strawberry blonde hair all curled out and had mall bangs........not now! I'm a hip 60 and have long two toned hair that is as straight as a string and soft. I told him that hairstyle is outdated and I wouldn't wear my hair that way. I could see it angered him but he didn't say anything. He was just silent. I can already tell he resents my closeness and affection for my grandson, Dublin. I've raised Dublin and we are very close. I love him with all my heart! I can see him seething when I tell him how much my children and grandchildren mean to me. He told me last night about an incident where his dead spouse had to squeeze his shoulders to keep him from attacking a lesbian who was obviously hurting over the loss of her best friend and was just looking for affection and acceptance. He felt like she had thrown down the gauntlet and was challenging him to a fight because he is an ex Marine. He hates minorities, calls them horrid names, and is very vocal about it in public. I love people and am open to any opportunity to help them.....OK, OK........I'll get out of the relationship. Hey, that's why I posted this thread. Thanks to all of you.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 7:08:06 PM
Thanks, all of you, I read each post with an open mind, and all of you are 100% correct. It seems that at first they think they have found the most wonderful "princess" in the whole world. They shower you with compliments, they do "things" for you but then "remind" you of the things they did for you.... Like, "Oh, my back is killing me (because I moved that dresser or took your dog for a walk)....oh, but don't feel sorry for me....I only did it because I love you. Meanwhile a, as he puts it, "Drop dead gorgeous" female walks by and he about loses it. He notices everything about them while you are sitting right across the table from them. They resent your phone conversations with your children and grandchildren and they carry a gun and threaten to shoot anyone who might be seen as a threat to you or to them. But its all smoke and mirrors, because when someone really DOES threaten you and hurt you, they turn the other way and ignore it. They are cowards of the worst possible kind. Each and every thing they "do for you" is meant to be noted, and cached as if they are storing favors away and intend to cash in on them later. Their emotions are skewed and their minds are on another plane. They are predators who seek out tender hearted women like me and others, women who are care givers, nurturers, co-dependent. They can spot them a mile away. Yep, thanks to all of you. I'm breaking away and will soon be out there again fishing. There are so many things I want to see and do. So many new adventures I want to experience. I'm free and in my own place for the first time in my entire life. I don't have children to raise and its just me with a job, a bank account and a desire to experience life. Granted, he was responsible for opening my eyes to the situation I was in and encouraging me to move forward and get rid of the "money pit" of a house I was living in and get a nice apartment. I would keep him as a friend, but he is already trying to "change" me. Why do men do that? Why do they fall for someone just as they are, and then start trying to change them? "Change your hairstyle," whereas before it was gorgeous, "Lose weight", whereas before you were "just right". "Change the color of your hair and the way you dress." Whereas, before you dressed like a queen and your hair color reflected the sun.... Men.........where are the genuine ones?

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 6:42:38 AM
Thanks for the input. We can talk for hours...we communicate well. Problem is, I am paying all the deposits on this apartment and they amounted to a LOT. I just don't know......living on my own, by myself sounded SO good. I'm having second thoughts and reservations, but he does what he can or maybe just enough ...... Because his profiles are still active and recent and "new" with activity within the past week......I just have these sniggling doubts.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 6:29:33 AM
I put my profile in "hiding" for a while because I've met someone who seems very special and who seems to fit the bill for long term. There are a few red flags though that hang out at the back of my mind and maybe you can help me decide what to do and keep me from making a huge mistake either way. Oh, the reason I'm posting and public now is because I found him recently on other dating websites having recently posted his profile and when I confronted him about it, he stated that he did it after we had a fight and just behaved like a boy..... (1) He talks about his deceased spouse by name all the time. I very rarely discuss mine even though we were married for 4 years. I also don't discuss my ex who I was married to for 21 yrs. in relating stories about my past. (2) He seems to resent the closeness between myself, my daughters and my grandchildren stating, "You need to cut the apron strings." I am very close to my children and they will call me to see how to prepare a roast or to voice their concerns about certain decisions they make. I do the same with my parents who are still living and who care. (3) He has a temper. I left my debit card at home and couldn't find it at the store the other day so he had to pay $5 using his own cash so he threw it down on the counter, obviously annoyed and when we left, I told him I saw that he was angry and he said it was just temporary. I got cash from my bank which was across the parking lot and bought him gas. I recently moved and stayed with him for a couple of weeks so had my mail transferred to his address. He got a piece of mail addressed to my ex at his address because the insurance company had my forwarding address or something...he ripped the piece of mail in pieces, flew into a rage, said he never wanted to be involved in my "mess", told me I'd better get this straightened out (or else?), told me because I'd been on the phone with my daughter for so long I would be telling people I was an "ex employee of my company." (4) He loves animals more than people. (5) He wants to move in with me and share expenses. I have a job and he has benefits and can't really take a job in his field to protect his benefits. He has many great traits, funny, makes me laugh, is fun to be with, is a great cook and helped me with the move as much as possible. He is cute and intelligent and witty. He is also rude to people, outspoken, loud and insulting to people in public. (from New York). I was raised in a family who were respectful of others and in public wouldn't think of insulting the waiter or waitress or clerk at the store. (they might spit in your food or drag it through the dishwater...lol) In the past I've been co-dependent with an alcoholic, abusers (physically and mentally), and seem to have a penchant for finding men with a terrible, explosive temper. I really do care for him and just want to see through other eyes than my own as my "eyesight" is often dim when it comes to relationships. So, what do you think? Let me have it with both barrels.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 876 (view)

Why women want guys to come to THEM Posted: 8/15/2009 11:38:20 PM
Of course I want a guy to come to me. But if he arrives and his horse dies in my driveway...we could have a problem. If he drives up in a profile car....I couldn't respect him. But if he arrives in a Ford Escort....neither could I admire him and respect him. If he flies in and I pick him up at the airport...depends on what kind of mood he is in when I arrive in a trenchcoat and nothing on underneath but 4" heels.... But, he must come to me. Like I'd drive to meet him and use up my gas! If he came to me in a completely unique way....like a sled and sled dogs...wow! A horse and buggy! A gondola and here in FL....lately, that's a possibility...lol Yes, he needs to come to me because I'm worth it.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 810 (view)

would you marry for money? Posted: 8/15/2009 11:32:28 PM
No. I work hard for my money and I really don't want to share it with anyone. Except maybe someone who could sit through the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy and two bottles of great wine and proscuttio and anti-pasta. Maybe someone who would go sunbathing naked, yet cover his privates with a hat and when I passed would tip his hat to me.....lol

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 64 (view)

What emanate from you? Posted: 8/15/2009 11:28:33 PM
Right now, garlic and wine...sorry. But one fights disease and the other makes a woman more vulnerable...right?? Emanates...well, there is always TicTacs and Listerine.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 305 (view)

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - by Steve Harvey Posted: 8/15/2009 11:24:01 PM
I don't read self help books, no desire to. But I did read where good ole Steve is getting sued because there was already a book out by that name & with a little sneaky creativity he "wrote" one of his own. I hope the original author takes him to the cleaners. Me Too! He's a baffoon. People are so shallow as to take advice from someone who is a standup comic???? Geeze, I can see why Obama won the election.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

Being with someone for the sake of it...... Posted: 8/15/2009 11:20:03 PM
If you can't smell the feremones on someone, exit stage left and don't look back. Sensuality is a gift and a pleasure. Sparks start fires. Who wants to live with a pair of house slippers? I want someone who will jump on the next plane to Sicily with me and enjoy a glass of great Italian wine and go for a hang gliding afternoon then dine with me in an outdoor patio with the stars overhead. I'm up for that.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 234 (view)

Do Men Really Want Honesty? Posted: 8/15/2009 11:05:52 PM
I would rather have one ounce of honesty than a whole shista bag of lies. I've noticed that along with the stages of life come varying degrees of honesty. Women of child bearing age seem to prefer some sort of "interpretation of the truth", rather than pure honesty. No women of childbearing years wants to hear the truth about herself. I only know that at my stage in life, I prefer someone to say to me, "I see you". Not "I see what you could be or what you were or what you might have been". I prefer a man to say, "Wow, I see you now and you are wonderful"...because I am. I may not be the Playboy centerfold that it seems most men desire, but I'm really not far off that. I may not be the pre-pubescent Catholic girl in a uniform just panting to be deflowered, but I'm not far off. So, reality, is perceived by each individual and maybe, just maybe, one person's reality may be totally different from yours. In regards to that, they are telling you the truth as they see it. You have to have the same "eyes" and that, I think is what a soul mate is if something like that DOES exist. Someone with the same eyes as you....someone who sees the same reality that you do and who believes the same honest interpretation of life that you offer and you in turn, can see their honest interpretation.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 302 (view)

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - by Steve Harvey Posted: 8/14/2009 9:14:11 PM
First of all??? Steve Harvey??? Pulleeeze. I'd rather take advice on men and what they think and feel from Dear Abbey than from a baffoon like Steve Harvey. Why, oh why, do people think they need to read a freakin book or take advice from the peanut gallery for everything from what to wear to who to vote for? That globe between your ears is for something other than becoming a depository for trash. Men are no different from women in that we both, hopefully, think. There's a revelation for you. I think I'll write a book on what women really think....lol It would work for me...but then, I don't know, neither do I care, what women think. I know what I think and that's good enough for me.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

What emanate from you? Posted: 8/14/2009 9:06:56 PM
Sensuality mixed with Sweetness and Power. Pure and simple.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

How much is TOO much in a relationship? Posted: 8/14/2009 8:02:45 AM
Take in to consideration sustainability. If your call 5 times a day every day than you dont contact them for 2 days it raises a concern. Unfortunately, that is so true. I'm the same way. You become accustomed to a level of interest. That's your only meter when you aren't a mind reader or a psychic. So, the person you are interested in doesn't write as usual....you automatically think (1) They are ill or hurt (2) They are busy and forgot to tell you they will be busy (3) They have been abducted by aliens (4) They just aren't that into you...lol

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Do we all posses the ability to be passionate? Posted: 8/13/2009 9:50:03 PM
I'm extremely passionate, yet simple in my approach to life. I want that seemingly evasive combination of acceptance, respect, admiration and passionate lovemaking that is so explosive and so extreme that after a few days, someone might call out the sheriff's department to check on the safety of the 'missing in action'. I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm passionate about entertainment, about the ocean, about animals, family, people, life, adventure, wine, food, children, babies, politics, religion, science, history, art, travel......why shouldn't I be passionate about making love and enjoying love making?

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

How much is TOO much in a relationship? Posted: 8/13/2009 9:45:41 PM
slow, go slow. faster if you have known her as friends and know each others character. it takes about a year to develop trust, according to a friend of mine with a phd in psychology. it's important to remember you need time alone to assimilate your feelings for one another. time together, then time apart. don't build a relationship built on who you think one another is. thats getting caught up in infatuation and is not healthy. build it on who you know each other to be and that takes time. you can maintain your sense of independence while letting a woman know you are very interested in her. don't call or text everyday until you have become lovers. I would agree with this to a certain extent. It does take time to build trust, but what if you don't want to spend too much time on a potentially dead horse? Meaning, there are certain red flags and indicators that over time, you have come to recognize. Texting "too much" or calling or emailing are sometimes just the thing to let a "burned" woman know that you are consistent and that you aren't going to buzz off in a moment of uninfatuation. Consistency, passion and dedication to someone are perhaps the best way to demonstrate that not only are you interested, but you are dedicated to her.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Being with someone for the sake of it...... Posted: 8/13/2009 9:38:20 PM
Sparks are vital and should be a prerequisite for any relationship. I have three brothers and trust me, I don't need any more. My lover should elicit sparks galore and our time in bed should be the Fourth of July. I don't need a companion so that I won't be alone. I need a man to be my passionate lover and to cherish me as I will him. That's one of the major drawbacks of dating in my age range....men can't be "up" for the occasion and just seem to want someone to "hang out" with and do stuff with like we were back in Kindergarten...no thanks. I want a lover who is warm and tender and passionate and ready...and appreciates a woman who is too. All the nice guy stuff is great. But my brothers are nice too. I need more, much, much more.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Menopause and The Aftermath of its Wake. Posted: 7/21/2009 8:38:42 AM
I didn't even know when I went through it. I still don't know that I have in fact gone through it for sure. It was a non issue completely for me. None of the symptoms. I've always been a wild child though so who would notice. I did take off to France and spent a month touring Europe at the age of 40 with a 21 yr. old French national though....lol I have the same level of energy, the same spontanaity, the same joi de vie, and my libido has increased instead of decreased. I still feel the same as I did in my 30's but don't look the same obviously. Its just life and life is good.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 186 (view)

Do Men Really Want Honesty? Posted: 7/20/2009 9:15:01 PM
It has been my experience that the majority of women need to gather in pairs or in groups. Just let one woman go to the bathroom alone...nope, a whole flock of em get up and go. I AM a woman, but trust me, I wouldn't trust any one of them any further than I could throw a 300 lb. elephant. They are back stabbing, conniving, territorial, petty, emotional, hormonoly driven, inconsistent....shallow. There are exceptions, but most of them are just that. Exceptions. I really don't care nor does it matter to me what other women's experiences of 'other women' are, my own personal experience is that you can't trust a woman to be anything but unpredictable and petty. I didn't choose a man's line of work, it chose me. I've been feminine all my life, but consider myself flexible and maliable.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

Strong Willed Women Posted: 7/20/2009 9:27:12 AM
Ok, why does it have to be either or. Why does a woman have to either be 'strong-willed' or 'mousy'? There is a fine line between strong willed and closed mindedness. There is a fine line between mousy submissiveness and thinking 'perseverence is the better part of valor'. All women are strong in one way or another. It takes a very strong woman to stay hitched to a bad situation. I don't think anyone enjoys pain and suffering or misfortune or verbal abuse or any of a number of unpleasant circumstances. It takes a strong-willed woman to continue to work at the shirt factory to support her kids. Strength of will is something most people have. You don't think it takes a will of steel to continue to drink Jack when your world is falling down around you?

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 181 (view)

Do Men Really Want Honesty? Posted: 7/19/2009 10:34:18 AM
You are right and that is probably one thing I've been trying to say. Women, bless em, have no comprehension of frank, honest communication. That is why I prefer, although a perfect example of femininty, to stay far away from the female clatches and groups where females meet to sharpen their claws, gossip, jealously ridicule and pick apart piecemeal in order to bolster their own flagging egos because they somehow didn't meet a Cosmo fairies, concept of the perfect woman for fall or spring. Honest communication would say, "I look down on women in men's trades and especially a woman who would have the "balls" to drive a semi." I'm only 5'3" and weigh 132 lbs. yet was able to drive and deliver freight all over the US, Mexico and Canada. I'm very proud of my occupation. I'm also a published writer with a Master's Degree. I find it is very hard for the average and below female to comprehend someone with that type of personality and who has the ability to think outside the box...I proudly don't fit Cosmo's idea of what the woman should look like, act like ane drive, wear, smell like, etal....

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 305 (view)

Does a man with a complicated personality threaten a woman's ego? Posted: 7/19/2009 10:20:11 AM
Just don't get in my way while I'm engaged in very similar activities. Many women think they are deep but in all their attempt to be "different" or "deep", what they inevitably become is just like every other woman who is trying to be "different". Obscurity is refreshing. Obtuseness isn't. My mind is usually a four-ringed circus, thinking about many things at once yet with the ability to compartmentalize those things which require my immediate attention. When I meet someone, they usually can't keep up or don't want to hang on for the ride of their life. Most people, you will find, just want to keep it simple preferring to think in black or white unable to conceive of the middle ground or anything remotely inbetween or on the outskirts of same.

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

Underwear - The New Relationship Indicator? Posted: 7/19/2009 10:15:03 AM
Big/long boxers: "How do they DO that"? Tighty Whities: Probably too uptight unless they are a bit worn (no skid marks) Speedo: Probably walks both sides of the fence and is into child porn. Commando: Doesn't mind pain, probably didn't finish high school. Short boxers, soft, not too baggy....Probably an alright kinda guy. Silk boxers: Has an overbearing wife somewhere in the background. Leather thong: Into sado machsichism(?) or just very insecure about his package Name brand designer big boxers: Player with overblown ego and "somebody" must have told him his was the best......

Zephyr2553

Joined: 12/28/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Anyone Here Crave a Higher Excitement??? Posted: 7/18/2009 9:56:39 PM
My life is a thrill a minute. Each day is a new adventure. I think whaat you are describing is a huge hole in your "self" that needs filling. Nothing will satisfy that need or that longing outside of a spiritual introduction to your own Creator. I'm not preaching, I'm just saying, you have a God sized hole that needs filling. Once that hole is patched and filled, you will begin to see the excitement, the beauty and the challenge of nature and all that is around you. Did you watch 'Bruce Almighty'? by any chance? You know when he started hearing the prayers of millions of people? Maybe you should listen...then instead of wanting to harm someone or find that next hollow thrill, you might deliver "meals on wheels" or volunteer for 'Habitat for Humanity' or the 'Red Cross' or go sign up for the military. Just a thought.

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