Staten Island Anyone Can Come POF Dance Party!!!! March 28 2008 chat & forums.

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judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 95 (view)

Staten Island Anyone Can Come POF Dance Party!!!! March 28 2008 Posted: 3/19/2008 5:00:07 PM
Am going to try and be there,,,,Sounds like fun.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Sticky subject -- Women are there any left, Traditional Posted: 1/3/2007 1:05:46 AM
how about you go take some cooking classes ( somewhat advanced, not for beginners.. cz you say you can cook too) n meet someone who shares your interest?

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Bubble gum removal Posted: 1/3/2007 1:02:25 AM
hold an ice cube to it..If it firms up enuf, can be peeld off..

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

rude or a turn on? Posted: 1/3/2007 12:58:20 AM
I'll still never figure out how that Victoria's catalogue was in my mailbox, not just to occupant, but directly addressed to me Some stores n products that have your info from warranties, credit cards or sales sell the it.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Long distance relationship's Posted: 1/3/2007 12:32:00 AM
Hi grets.. Was the psych degree BA, Masters or Phd.. The university of the virgin islands (uvI) offers degrees in psych that ARE accreditted.. (I think masters,, and I know for sure.. Phd's) You have to live here 6 weeks and do all the rest of the work online.. Less expensive than alot of other schools too..If you found something online would that make a difference? A suggestion....

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

my reviews are coming slower, sorry Posted: 1/3/2007 12:25:16 AM
Rank amateur question..How do you "start a thread" in the profile review section? thanks in advance.. also any advice on my profile apprecaited...J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

I need some advice/help... Posted: 1/3/2007 12:18:42 AM
PS.. Re the paperwork: ..definetly do see a divorce attorney, as they'd know best. If he is paying into a mortgage (building equity) that is a finacial gain on his part and would be deemed part of his income. If he is only paying rent (lease at a stationary store and a receipt book) it's still part of his financial situation but is considered an expense. His ex may very well be able to get your financial info "to establish what his expenses are". In some places if you are living together they consider "household" when considering what he will pay in child support. And I do not know what the commonlaw marriage laws are where you are..Some places, 6 months co-habitation and you Are "wed". Let us know how it goes..

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

I need some advice/help... Posted: 1/3/2007 12:05:14 AM
Hi Alterna Girl.. I would point out that vasectomies Can be reversed.. I know it will be a very big decision as to whether you are willing to forego having a biological child to stay in the relationship. Only you can decide that..he might resent you for insisting on a child. But you might come to resent him if you pass . Sounds like you are making alot of compromises here and taking on alot of responsibilities (happily I know) but that doesn't mean you will not one day regret accomodating him on this issue. I also wonder if part of you resentment Could be because he has made this decision.(no more kids)"based on her"..and it means you not having something you'd want...(just a thought)..and it's easier to be angry at her than him. Having said ..If it were me, in addition to avoiding talking to or seeing the ex, I'd also ask that your Bf speak about what is going on with her as little as possible. He'll have to tell you about certian things but other than that aim to hear or mention her name as little as possible. I wish you good luck in whatever you decide.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Muscles... is it worth putting in the time? Posted: 1/2/2007 11:37:50 PM
The shallow women aspect is what makes me nervous. Even so, I want to at least be a bit more attractive below the neck. The other thing is that I already have strong ties with my emotions, spirituality, and mentality; so a better physical appearance would just round out the package, I figure. Maybe I'm being a bit too ambitious? Do you prefer a woman who lists herself as "a few extra pounds" and if not should we be worried about Your shallowness?. Do you answer ads of women who say that they are a package overall,,so they have no plans to get into shape because they do not want to be overambitious? Do I read this right?..you are So wonderful now... that being fit isn't even necessary? self seeking thread.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

What do you think about people who's profiles say they are homemakers looking for someone to Posted: 1/2/2007 11:23:57 PM
If I saw that on a profile I would keep going.. The last thing I need is someone who wants to mooch of me.. but each to their own.. So if you have a wife,who stays home w kids in the future they would be mooching off You?

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

Say you have never cheated, breaking a trust Posted: 1/2/2007 11:14:04 PM
Mainly, it's because they're not perfectly content with what they already have. It could be emotional, sexual, psychological, financial or social. If a person cheats, it's because they're not getting something Ugh.. A person cheats bcz they do not have to cojones (balls) to be honest and to leave First and go find whatever it is they think they lack. They're chickensh. They want to hold onto what they have ..Cause they are not brave enough to be on thier own and go looking. They"re selfish and cowardly. They cheats because thier word is not thier bond. They can live with being a * and lack moral fiber. They have low morals are good at rationalizing. They can't delay gratifiation (read: immature) or they are so far gone that they don't even realize not being able to keep thier word cheapens them and will (or should if they have a conscience) should effect thier self esteem. Others are passive aggressive do this instead of having the guts to say what they want to.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/2/2007 9:09:07 PM
Hello Hoosier, I agree with you and the other men and women that kids are the world to them/us. I was only commenting that most single moms say that in their profiles and that they come first. I was only saying that men mean the same thing as the women that post that. And like these wonderful, caring, loving, sacraficing parent we are capable of loving more then just our kids. In that case, if I were a man I would pass on women who said that in thier ads! I guess I am not sure that people get how those "on the other side of the fence" might feel. Sure, any man I meet will love his kids to bits. That's a given. But say we'd wind up only having the kids he already has. Would you want to walk into a situation where someone was saying, "Yes I want a partner. Just want you to know you'll always be second"? In a first marriage did people go around saying,,"I have kids, and my wife willalways come second to them?" Well, maybe I can't put it into words adequately..It sounds out of balance to me. And wouldn't be what I was comfortable with. The parents should be a team and a united front... for the good of all: for the kids and for the sake of the marriage too. Men and women both say it..and in both cases, they are putting people off. Why is that even posted in the profiles? I would think that is a gimme. All that should have to be said on either side of the fence, is "I have kids with me ________ time" It should be assumed that that person will love the child"ren" above all others, BUT can still love a signaficant other as well. Parents (male and female) that don't have full custody are not any less loving towards their kids as full time parents. Circumstances of each case determines who gets the kids. There are wonderful dads out there that only get the kids every other weekend due to court rulings that would give their right arm to have them more. Just like there are women like that. I would never assume that a man couldn't be just as good as..or even the better, parent. And I know that many Dads who are just as capable as the Mom get only some time with their kids. My preference for a custodial parent is only because I'd like to be a "full time Mom". If you'd read men ads, you 'd note that most men who already have children (full or part time) usually say they do Not want more. If I married someone who had custody every other weekend and wanted no more kids.."Every other weekend" woud be the extent of my Mothering..... Not exactly "the full experience"..It has nothing to do with any assumption I made about him.. So if he had children, I Prefer we have them all the time ..(though I know it is somewhat rare). I would consider a non custodial Dad who wanted to have another child. (but there aren't tons of them either). I once dated a man who had a young child. (About a year old). He was seperated, about to be divorced and custody was still at issue. He was over there alot,, mowing her lawn and doing whatever, to keep it civil. After several months I still hadn't met his child..He wanted to wait on that. Calls from the ex (they sounded belligerent) interrupted us at times. Plus, with him being busy every other weekend,..work, errands and our schedules, we really did not get to spend much that much time together. Then a holiday came up ...and he would neither bring the baby,so I could finally meet him, nor have his Mom watch him, even part of the weekend. He thought I'd be ok with spending the whole holiday weekend alone. (Yes, he really was seperated..I checked,,and saw the papers and his place.) That's the last seperated person I have dated or ever will date. And now when I do consider dating someone with children I have to sense and see that they are willing to take the time needed to grow a realtionship. I would not expect someone to get dresssed and leave thier kids home alone at 3 am. to come meet me ..It'd be irresponsible to do so ..But is the phone on?? Honestly, if I am at the side of the road somewhere, alone, and your phone is off because the house can't be disturbed..or I can only call at certain times,,or certain days and get a hold of you, You're really not available for a realtionship,,,in any sense of the word. And there are other things I would want to know: When they have thier kids are they totally unavailable? Will they get a babysitter sometimes.,especially special occassions? Do they Always have to be home at midnight? How long would it take before I was introduced to the children?.. JME... There are some (some) who use the fact that they have kids as an excuse, not to have a relationship that can go somewhere. "Player parents",,if you will, who have an out whenever they want one..Not the majority ,,,but some. all just my experience and my opinion..of course J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 162 (view)

Ladies do you like it when a man tells you what to do? Posted: 1/2/2007 7:22:36 PM
What he meant was if a man asks a reasonable request of his girl but does it in such a way that it makes her feel like he in charge and she is compelled to action, does this in any way turn her on? and if so, why? But that is not what he said or aksed........... His language..like "what did she think she was getting into dating a successful man" (WTF?) "does it give meaning and direction to your life?" "women should realize men are more important" and "does it make you wet?" Weren't due to poor communication..or differences btwn the sexes.. Noone is SO backward that they do not realize this would be considered offensive.. The Point of his thread and his ad..are simply to be offensive..(have you seen the ad?). No woman will answer that ad..and all who read it will say "ugh" or laugh Or find it offensive. Who puts up an ad that'll insult and drive all women away? A man who does not want women. Simple,, J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 153 (view)

Ladies do you like it when a man tells you what to do? Posted: 1/2/2007 1:14:27 AM
I applaud you for taking a stand against feminism. Women need to understand a man is more important and quit being selfish. Ok I'll bite.. Why is the man more important?..if he thinks he's more important isn't he being selfish? I think this all has to be a joke... What did she think she was getting into dating someone successful? Hello. I make alot more money that many of the men I have dated. Does that mean they should run around fetching and carrying for me? That because my job pays more they are a lesser person than me? She has meaning and purpose to her life? What woud that be? To be a gopher happily? But that really isn't the issue here.... How"s you ad working? Have you "found a broad to bang every night" yet (gag)" Thats's an un-ad ad.. You will never mmeet anyone from that and so the reason you post it is simple: Certain men can't accept that they are gay..They hate themselves for wanting men almost as much as they hate themselves for forcing themselves to deal with women.They say they are straight when it's obvious they have nothing but disdain for and dislike of women. Need I say more? C'mon out of the closet already..it's 2007. Once you allow yourself to have men ...you'll quit resenting women so much.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

So lost Posted: 1/2/2007 12:29:46 AM
Sorry, something doesn't quite make sense for me. The court actually wrote an order prohibiting him from socializing with anyone who has a criminal record? So basically if he goes to a bar/sporting event/party/shopping mall he is supposed to ask every person he encounters if they have a criminal record A usual condition of parole is that a person not socialize with other known criminals. This means not hang out together..The officer saw he was With the other criminal,,not that they were just in the same room together..20 feet apart. For instance you can not go and live with another criminal. If you are questioned about anything, they''ll inquire about everyone in the group. If anybody has a record..You have violated parole. Used to work for an attorney..and this is a condition, basically, just about every time. He knows he was violating his parole..and he shows bad judgement. I think you are worrying abut the wrong thing,,with "whats' expected of you"..Maybe it's a better idea to look for someone who has thier act together, JMO

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

will not ignore Posted: 1/2/2007 12:12:52 AM
Isn't that the lyric of some Gwen Stefani song? This ghetto speak does nothing for me. Or is it some derivative of Klingon spoken only in New York? Holla .. slang for holler ,,yell To holla back.. Can mean: "answer back to me"..respond.."Chime in if you agree." this is the freindly version.. In the stefani song .." I aint no "holla back girl"..we have the unfriendly version.. Ie I will not Just "holler back" if insulted (hollered at by you)I'll go further and kick a** I'm not a holla back girl.. that is,,Not one who would just talks back to someone who talks trash to or about them. I still have no ide what the op is saying or the topic of the dribble post.. but anyway that's the deal on holla.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

People turning nasty on you. Posted: 1/1/2007 9:32:39 PM
Apparently, it is quite common for women to turn into absolute bches at the drop of a hat - in particular when relationships fail. Now, before you girls get on my case for simply women-bashing, this is not the case at all. I love women to death, I'm truly just trying to wrap my head around this one.... The common denominator here .....is you.. and As this seems to happen to you repeatedly it's not a coincedence. Perhaps you're insulting and belittling without even realizing it..???? Men who say that women are "quite commonly,,at the drop of a hat,, absolute es" don't love women to death. They just claim to. My guess is "before the hat drops" you say something totally obnoxious without realizing how offputting you are..Ie you are Clueless as to how you really come off. What If a gal said..."Really I love men even with my whole heart..even though they are F **stards alot of the time".......

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Who's advice to follow? Posted: 1/1/2007 8:52:13 PM
The separation happened over some flirtatious and yes inappropriate (but innocent) text messages to an acquaintance of the opposite sex of which I was the author. Dear Lost.. Inappropriate,,but innocent? If the messages were inappropraite,,they weren't innocent.. I say try talking to her to see if there is any hope..Offer to go to couples counselling.. But if things are to work you have to learn some respect for her boudaries..Obviously, she considers what you did to be a form of infidelity. Flirting,,sexy text messages,,phone friendships and such with others while married is something Alot of women will not put up with..They don;t see it as innocent, and I don't either. You are putting your energy elsewhere, sneaking and it's a form being emotionally unfaithful..Many take it to the next step eventually. How would you feel if she were sending messages like that to men? Would You think it innocent fun if she did the same? Approach her and see if it can be salvaged but Only After you lose the 'what I did really wasn't a big deal...and innocent" thing. You still sound like you "just don't get it" and that will not help. Maybe she doesn't want a relationship where she had to wonder "who is he texting now"? good luck.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 186 (view)

POLYGAMY? Posted: 1/1/2007 7:56:48 PM
I haven't read the whole thread ..but in what I read I did not hear "I am really in love with him". Just because you have an offer does not mean you have to take it..It won't be your last chance. I wonder if you are considering this just because you are afraid to be alone. Some people do feel comfortable in polygamous relationships. They state that having the help and company of other women as the bonus.. but then they have attention from the man say one fourth of the time. (or less ) would you be ok with that?. He's paying alot of attention and paying for things now..but that would fade as soon as he was looking for the next wife to bring in and you'd get little attention and be expected to earn your share to put into the household. . . I see polygamy as communal living with only the man's needs being fully satisfied. As he spends time with different women,, based on his whim. Really though... if you are ok with communal living why not consider polyandry? (one woman,,many husbands) I see alot more benefits in that!:

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

My friends man keeps touching me... Posted: 1/1/2007 7:25:06 PM
I am sorry that you got grabbed like that.. Needless to say he had no right to touch you. Please do not underestimate how inapproprate this man could get in the future. He is testing you going.... further and further..Sometimes when things like this happen people freeze. So there is not "right response". No true friend would expect you to put up with anything like this. And i think most women would want to know of his actions. Tell her..it's the thing to do. No matter what, do not be alone with this man again. If it were me I would tell the gf I was that I refused to be in his presence ever again. Ie..(if she is dumb enough to stay with him) she is welcome to come over..He's not.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

When are you responsible ? Posted: 1/1/2007 6:16:20 PM
If she prefers to blow her money at the bar instead of food, when is it your time to feed her People who date people who drink so much they can't pay thier bills... belong in alanon. (organization for those who choose relationships with alcoholics) Both people in the situation have a problem.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

I hate your guts??? Posted: 1/1/2007 6:10:44 PM
but there have been an odd occasion where he came to my place after a night of intense drinking and has said he feels suicidal, and why does all this "bad" crap happen to him. I dont feed into his questions as I do think he wants some sort of sympathy and just offer him the couch to crash on for the night. I feel a bit queasy after reading that..Is it Possible people are still this uninformed????? When people discuss committing suicide it is not for attention or sympathy..Usually it means the person could quite likely has clinical depression..(which is a medical condititon that can be treated) and May act..You know they are thinking about it when they say so. Binge drinking is also another sign that there's a problem. Most people who attempt (or succeed) do so under the influence of alcohol or drugs.. So if someone is both drinking too much (or drugging) AND talking about it,,the chances they could eventually act are upped Considerably. Talk of suicide should NEVER be ignored or brushed off. One hundred percent of people who talk of suicide do not do it..But virtually 100% of those who commit suicide or try have told someone before hand. This is the father of your kids and a human being..Talk him into getting some professional help. He's not talking this way to get sympathy. He feels hopeless about things in general. Incidentally, children of those who attempt or commit suicide are 10xs more likely than others to attempt or commit sometime during thier lifetime. Your breezy dismisal of his pain is stomach turning. Look up "empathy" in the dictionary. Ugh.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/1/2007 5:39:28 PM
In women profiles they state they have kids and that they are thier world. Why can't us men say the same? Hi Hoosier.. Just for me.."my kids are my world".."they're everythng to me" etc. would not put me off.."nothing will ever come before them" does. Just my opinion there...

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

help Posted: 1/1/2007 3:32:55 PM
There are psychological issues that you and your spouse must resolve before a successful marriage can be realized. You and your husband are equally responsible for your current dilemma. He is cheating and he's beaten her (in front of the kids) "to put her in her place" and they're Equally responsible for the dilemma.? Get real! That's Bull ****t. Next you'll say she deserved it.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/1/2007 2:12:20 PM
I am sorry for the rant but, we as men dont over rationalize those very questions when we date girls with kids and have none of our own. What if you had the kids and the guy didnt have or want any, and he didnt give you a second thought because of questions like..." will i have to fight the dad someday when i come over to watch a movie." "will he smash my window um,, Just for the record lots of men will Not date women with kids. Period.. Many won't even consider them. I get alot of mail and it is very obvious that they think it is a boon that I do not have kids..and plainly say they don't want to date women with kids. (you could do a thread about that alone,, Plenty of single moms would say it's so) As a matter of fact, I get alot of responses from guys who's rearin years are behind them,,(they're kids are adults and they want no more).,Men who already have children (and do not want more)..and those who don't want anyone who already has them. Everybody is entitled to thier preference..just saying,, Perhaps they are not avoiding single Moms cause of papa bear..but they are avoiding them. I have dated men with children and Yes, mama bear can be an issue.. Lots of divorces are not civil and mama bear can make things anywhere uncomfortable to difficult to way problematic ..if she has a mind to. Plus there is the fact that if it is a problem..it's not one that will necessarily change..You'd have to deal with it..very Long term.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/1/2007 1:55:03 PM
Also, I felt better knowing that I wouldn't play second fiddle to the children (which also is totally scary..) However many single fathers state that the children are the most important thing in there life which implys no room for a female partner . Maybe it is just me but I steer clear of ads that say things like.."Nothing will ever come before my kids" an other such sentiments..(but not my "kids mean the world to me") For the good of all ,I think,,when people are a couple they come first to each other..are "team mates", each others number one priority and share all. Yes, of course, co-parenting is a big part of it. But starting out that an adult realtionship won't be a priority is not the way to go. I read the type of mentioned alot and also " I am unavailable only every other weekend and one night during the week" What these things say to me is "I am really not ready to have a full Partner yet..or maybe ever" Jmo, of course.. but alot of men put women off with statements such as these.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/1/2007 1:54:53 PM
Also, I felt better knowing that I wouldn't play second fiddle to the children (which also is totally scary..) However many single fathers state that the children are the most important thing in there life which implys no room for a female partner . Maybe it is just me but I steer clear of ads that say things like.."Nothing will ever come before my kids" an other such sentiments..(but not my "kids mean the world to me") For the good of all ,I think,,when people are a couple they come first to each other..are "team mates", each others number one priority and share all. Yes, of course, co-parenting is a big part of it. But starting out that an adult realtionship won't be a priority is not the way to go. I read the type of mentioned alot and also " I am unavailable only every other weekend and one night during the week" What these things say to me is "I am really not ready to have a full Partner yet..or maybe ever" Jmo, of course.. but alot of men put women off with statements such as these.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Men with kids,women without Posted: 1/1/2007 1:41:22 PM
It all depends on what she's looking for...She might not want kids of her own but be open to step-parenting. Or.. she may want to live witout kids in her life, totally . Only one way to know. I don't have kids and prefer to meet either a custodial parent (full custody) or somene who doesn't have kids now but is open to having one. It's an indiviual thing. good luck to all who are fishing.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

How do you find other women to hang out with? Posted: 1/1/2007 1:30:36 PM
Oh I forgot to mention....volunteering.! Judy

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Jarheads and people's first impression... Posted: 1/1/2007 12:20:36 AM
My dad was a Master Seargent...(U.S. Army) So military men always get a second look and the benefit of the doubt from me. I always think,,"tidy, fit, shoes been spit" .Besides there's the uniforms

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 327 (view)

Cheating- can you forgive? Posted: 12/31/2006 11:28:18 PM
No. I could forgive and forget,,,as in "forget them".. I feel badly for anyone who doesn't realize they deserve better. Or who will put thier life on the line in the age of Aids..If someone will cheat they will lie about it too. Even condoms are not 100% safe..They can break, so you have to know who you are with. Nobody is worth dying for...Period. Once my trust is gone, it's gone and that's that...it'd be over. So far as I know noone has ever cheated on me..And I have never cheated on anyone. If someone isn't happy they can always leave and go do whatever they want. Any other course of action shows alot of disdain for the partner.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 158 (view)

Lying about ages Posted: 12/31/2006 10:38:09 PM
Like the other fellow said, it's just too obvious that some Women are lying. I see Women who look 10-15 years older than myself but they say that they are 43. Do they have a magical mirror. Maybe they Are being honest and just look bad for thier age,,who knows. I have seen some men, who shall remain nameless, and I think "they have to be lying! noone that young looks that old! (unless people have suddenly begun looking 50 at 40) but again who knows. They say 40 is the new 30 but when I look online it seems 40 is the new 50! heheh what gives?

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 146 (view)

Lying about ages Posted: 12/31/2006 10:11:37 AM
Well in the question of Why women lie I'd say this... It's the same reason men lie about thier height..They are hoping when they show up they will bowl you over and it will not matter.. It's not like the other person does not notice. What alot of people fail to think about is that, yes, i do notice ,,and what bothers me is that the person misrepresented themselves...Basically lied ....and that is a huge turn off. Also I put a certian height in the ad bcz that is what I am looking for..So really it can lead to wasted time on both our parts. Also if you look at "some other sites" at men around my age you'll see the majority do not want to date someone thier own age (and god forbid a year older) Over half of the men my age are looking for someone 5 years or more younger. So then some women will lie about my age so that they show up in searches of men who are looking for a certain age.. I do put my real age 44..but then if someone searches up to 40 my ad doesn't come up. Personally, someone who is so closed minded they insist someone Must be younger than them wouldn't be for me. But alot of women do want to date thier age or younger so they take off a few years to show up in more searches.. I try to respect what people put in thier ads for thier limits,,even if I think they're missing out,,It's thier right to set what they want...same as me..and it's thier loss. IMHO..Going out of the gate lying is a bad sign.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Do girls actually search guys profiles? Posted: 12/30/2006 11:46:27 PM
Oh skeptical you have it all wrong..at least as it relates to me.. I seek the ex calvin klien woker.. even if he just lost his modelling contract.. i'll let him cry on my shoulder.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

How do you find other women to hang out with? Posted: 12/30/2006 11:36:05 PM
And I am not rich or well off in my jobs so I can't just going a group....cost are always involved! FYI...bookclubs are usually free...the ymca is usually really inexpensive.. J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

is it normal Posted: 12/30/2006 10:49:58 PM
my male friends sometimes say i need to get more testosterone, or generally butch up. now, i must already have a good level of that, as ive been a head doorman for over 12 years. i aint afraid of batshit, can rescue security businesses off the ground, tackle people much bigger and stronger than me. ive always generally preferred the company of women, because i learn so much from them, and love the fact that they allow me to see their personal sides, and i love to watch over them. i live with 2 at the moment, who are top class, and we are like brother and sisters. and then, i could go upstairs to my room and suddenly feel incredibly lonely, and feel like a total wuss. its so wierd! i feel like a tiny coward Here is a suggestion..save talking about how you are feeling for your women friends...(not the bouncer buddies!) the gals will not tell you to "butch up" and that is because you do not need to! YES... it is normal to be a caring person with feelings and no you are not a wuss because you get lonely sometimes! (so do the other boncers but they just do not want to discuss it!) Everybody has feelings and just pretending not to is not what I consider any big accomplishment..But some are just more comfortable discussing things than others. I think most women Prefer a man who can talk about his feelings anyway.. I think it is a shame that some men are taught that they have to be "macho" to the point where an obvioulsy nice person like yourself has to wonder if you are "normal" just because you have human emotions! When it somes to expressing emotion men can get short changed. Whoever"s told you "real men don't feel" was wrong...and it sounds like there is plenty of **&^& around you. You are a feeling,,caring person..There is nothing wrong with that.. The atmosphere you work in is probabaly very limitting and I would imagine full of "macho men" who feel there is something wrong with expressing any emotion that resembles sensitivity. Why not try talking to you roomates? They're sure to be more understanding and will not make you feel like it's wrong to have feelings! hope 2007 is a good one for you judy

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

What do you do? Posted: 12/30/2006 10:28:51 PM
Hi Fire.. You've gotten alot of good advice here..Whatever she has seen with you and your parents has been enough to scare her plenty..She's afraid that in the future that is how you will relate to her..(and she actually makes plenty of sense! when you got comfortable enough that is what would happen) It's not all bad news ...she says she is willing to stay friends..So Go to the classes..perhaps in time she will see you the difference in how you act and then she will change her mind. She's a smart lady ..and you are in love so this should not be an easy decision.. There is No downside to going to the classes..none..so just go. good luck! Judy

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Do girls actually search guys profiles? Posted: 12/27/2006 11:50:32 PM
I have done searches..and generally read the profile if I like someone's pic..Since I wouldn't correspond with someone who won't publicly post a photo..that leaves out most ads. I have put people on my favorites list..but 9 out of 10 times am too shy to write them. So yes... I look,,once in awhile.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

How do you find other women to hang out with? Posted: 12/27/2006 11:26:26 PM
Bookclubs,,excercise classes,,and cooking classes are overwhelmingly female.. I'd also say check out any kind of continuing ed classes that interests you,, If you do a google search with your area ..and a key words ,,,say "hiking" you'll find other groups.. just some suggestions.......J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

Can all women have multiple orgasms? Posted: 12/27/2006 10:36:29 PM
Hell I'm happy if they have one...Why would you want them to have multiple. Next thing you know they'll want to vote. Too funny!

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

To respond or not respond? seems to be the ultimate question.. Posted: 12/22/2006 10:16:35 PM
Like how rude and inconsiderate is it for a woman to ignore some guy and not even give him any reason as to why?? I used to answer every response. . The reason someone does not answer is pretty clear isn't it? For whatever reason they are not interested.. As to a reason... It is very difficult to diplomatically say to someone "because I am not attracted". Many times I would say things like "i don't think we''d be a match,,but thanks"..which led the the second e mail of "why?'..Which often led to the third where they got nasty. Sending an e mail is basically the same as smiling across the room at someone. If they do not smile back ...Move on. I have sent men e mails and have not gotten a response. No biggee.. I can take a hint. Because I took five minutes does not mean he Owes me anything. I don't see why it should take numerous e mails back and forth to establish it won;t go anywhere. It is time consuming. And some write back something nasty no matter how nice you try to be about it..That's really why I gave up answering all. Judy

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

Grrr... Guys,, I need your help here.. Posted: 12/22/2006 9:59:06 PM
OP, you've said several times that "There is a right thing to do.. and he chose not to do it.. "...what is this right thing? I am assuming she thinks the right thing would have been to call.. But then I have to point out he was not calling you before. You ran into each other and it got progressively more physical..That's it. . After the first time you ran into each other and were kissing extensively..He did not ask for your number to talk and get to know each other or to go out and do anything,,even to meet for coffee.. And I take it he really did not seek you out.. Sorry, I think that pretty much said it all. Does't sound like he is looking to form any kind of relationship. You said you would do it again. And you said why wait when you are a certain age. I think you would like to think you can casually boff him..but obvioulsy can not.. You like him. A good reason to wait is to see if there is a real interest or whether someone just wants to get off and move on. Numerous people are saying call him and ask..I wouldn't, if not like he doesn't know where you live. If ,,when you bump into him again, you want to do this again just realize that he doesn't even think you rate a phone call. Do not mean to be harsh.. Just that one reason to wait is so you do not go through this kind of thing.

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 114 (view)

My Favourite Quotes. Posted: 12/23/2005 8:02:46 PM
The first step towards getting somewhere is deciding you are not going to stay where you are.. J. Pierpont Morgan

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 113 (view)

My Favourite Quotes. Posted: 12/23/2005 8:01:10 PM
There's no limit on happy memories, go make some more. George Elliott

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 112 (view)

My Favourite Quotes. Posted: 12/23/2005 8:00:14 PM
Everyone deserves love and happiness let's not wait till we are perfect to go find it. Anonymous

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 111 (view)

My Favourite Quotes. Posted: 12/23/2005 7:59:24 PM
Expect the best of life and it will meet your expecations....anonymous

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 110 (view)

My Favourite Quotes. Posted: 12/23/2005 7:58:34 PM
It is never too late to be what one might have been... George Elliott

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 83 (view)

why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks? Posted: 12/23/2005 6:22:17 PM
Who says only women get PMS? My lord. It's a personal preference -- if a guy's in ANY relationship Scribe...You have never heard of Permanent Male Stubborness??? The ..Poor things are afficted 30 days a month! Just kidding guys... Judy

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 67 (view)

why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks? Posted: 12/21/2005 8:40:10 PM
Artn soul ...Thanks for the suggestion of declining..and then blocking..I had given up on sending "no thanks" cause of the why's and nastiness..but I hadn't thought to block after so now i will send them again..So simple, but i just didn't occur to me. Also about the vent , I think you are assuming you get this Because you are a BBW.. but Every woman gets them!! I think they sit, do a who's online search and fire away! If they start out with or mention anti BBW comments ZZZZZZZ em for that too.. but I can assure you that I have been insulted by them in the past..Filthy language without provocation. They say whatever they think will hurt most. People who do what you describe are not even looking to find someone..this is a free site that gives them access to alot of women...They didnt read your profile n see you arenot into this because all they want to is gratify themselves while online...and that's it!!!..As I said before they are too cheap to call a phone sex line..or thier gf would see the phone bill..That's all it is.!!..People sit behind keyboards anonymous, safe..maybe drunk,high..in thier undies .(uuuugh shiver) That's the type they are.. Don't let em get you down..there are decent guys here! JMO J

judythecutey

Joined: 12/8/2005

Msg: 90 (view)

Ladies, how can this happen? Posted: 12/21/2005 8:23:16 PM
Thank you. That's all you had to say. You're not basing this on anything but your gut feeling. This is the last reply you get because obviously you do not even read what I write..it's not only based on my gut..It's based on Experience and Common Sense and criminal behavior ...that's my sound basis... I have said MAY HAVE BEEN part of a conspiracy about ten times now. and you DO NOT know he wasn't. (which logically doesn't make any sense since the victim never mentioned anything about two perpetrators...which would make most people wonder why anybody would help plan something they wouldnt be a part of) One says I will go alone this time..and he does not add I am going to rape the woman.. he says just rob her..and give your share tomrrow..and then he does rape her..That's how that could happen. Did that strain you Brain????????????????. . Do you read anything?..re read about the jewelry store example, obviously you skipped it last time around. Apparently you are not the one using linear thought...too bust being insulting an assinine to read up on the law..or even what I said..I am sorry you are so insecure that someone having a different opinion..is so threatening to you. You know less about criminal behaior than you do about the law. Why don't you put the crucible down and pick up the penal code. I have Already gotten more innocent people out of prison that your non reading ass ever will.. It was 20 years ago..you really know nothing about these two men. Bye Judy

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