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 Author Thread: Do you like to like be the Pursuer or the Pursued?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do you like to like be the Pursuer or the Pursued?
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:01:13 PM
I tend to be more the pursued than the pursuer on this site. I find it flattering and don't see it as a relinquishing of power on the woman's part. Once the conversation begins it doesn't change how a man and woman generally relate to each other. I like to think of it as merely meaning that she found me before I found her. It's one of the more positive changes in how the sexes relate.

If you like me, ladies, go ahead and write me!
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
dont kno what to do someone help me!
Posted: 11/18/2009 8:53:15 PM
You'll be surprised at how many guys you're going to want to marry in your life. Why not take a break from each other and do some dating. If you find you can't think of anyone but your ex, then it's time to take the relationship seriously. But, if you're heavily attracted to new guys then it's time to pass on the ex, whether that hurts him or not. Don't keep a relationship alive because of guilt. I've been there...it's a big mistake.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is it my pictures?
Posted: 11/15/2009 11:46:34 AM
Lose the negative scanner comments at the end of the first date section. Bring your music lists down to a more readable length. Perhaps, after listing a few, tell us what the common denominator in the music is - intelligent lyrics, uplifting, the instrumental aspect, etc. The photo of your family is a waste of time. I'm sure you love them dearly and perhaps you want to emphasize that, but this is a dating site and they don't belong here. The Sari shot gives us some idea of what your full body looks like but one of you in casual clothes, perhaps involved in activity, would be great. Otherwise, I think your photos are great. They made me smile and they felt very positive.

It's an original profile that shows you as your own woman. And I think you sound like a terrific one. If I were your age, I'd be at your door with Chocolate and Roses.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I could use some fresh eyes
Posted: 11/15/2009 11:27:46 AM
Lose the part about being stubborn and argumentative. You want to emphasize how easy you are to get along with. I'll weigh in on the Christianity question. I'd put that it was important to you earlier in the profile. If it's a deal breaker people should know about it right away. Some will stop reading, others will be even more enthused about checking out the rest of the profile.

For the sake of brevity, the part about the tattoos can go. They'll see them when they meet you.

Otherwise it's well-written. You sound like a fun person, and unlike many profiles on POF, you sound like an individual, not a cipher.

Good luck
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why is romantic not desirable anymore?
Posted: 11/14/2009 12:16:24 AM
I believe women like men who are willing to share their feelings, but not men who are flowery. The days of standing beneath her window reciting poetry are gone. And I say that as a published poet. I've never tried to woo a woman with my work. Showing it to her is for when I've known her long enough.

Romance is still old-fashioned (if you will) in many ways. Chocolate and Roses are always appreciated. But spilling your guts is not a welcome gesture between strangers.

Yes, women suspect overly, "romantic," men. Anything grandiose and over-done would arouse anyone's suspicions. Be yourself, don't forget to compliment her on her hair or dress or whatever, and let it go at that. I'm sure your intentions are good and I don't mean to dump on you but when enough women tell you that it's not working, brother, it's not working.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Stretch marks, scars, and other imperfections
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:57:21 PM
My ex-wife had a nasty scar across her lower stomach from surgery. It caused her belly to be a bit misshapen, just above her groin. I hated it at first and it put me off. Eventually, I didn't even notice. No, I don't like stretch marks, but they wouldn't make me love a woman any less. Now, as for a woman I just met having stretch marks, well.......I'd have to think about that. Men are visual after all. But in your case I wouldn't worry about it. You're so gorgeous, who's going to have the time to notice little imperfections?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Hi
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:48:07 PM
Everybody has given you great advice. I believe it's more interesting to read an anecdote about something that happened to a person, than to read a list of their favorite t.v. shows. I know you haven't read a lot of the other women's profiles, but trust me, they don't look that much different than yours. This is a lame example, but if you say that when you hear a particular band's music, you've got to dance, isn't that better than a LIST of your favorite bands. Get more of "you" in there, and like DenverSky says, change your headline. There should be nothing sad or negative about your profile.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Help please!
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:34:46 PM
I know it's your style to confront b.s., but you seem aggressive about it. As if you'd walk up to someone in the street and challenge their beliefs when they hadn't even been talking about/to you. But your description of who you are sounds great. You're not run-of-the-mill and you get that across. Maybe you could describe the kind of woman you're looking for in more detail. Do you want someone who is like you, who is more fem, who likes to get in your face, etc.

Your photos look great. If I was a girl with an edgy side I'd be all over you.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Safety issues at POF
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:17:46 PM
Even as a guy, I wouldn't go to a woman's home for dinner on a first date. And a woman who'd do so is crazy. Even if your friends know he's there, it's a bad idea. Do you want a stranger to know where you live? Especially if you have kids.

Save cooking dinner for a guy until you're really comfortable with him. A home cooked dinner on a date is almost an intimate event. And so is being invited into a woman's home for the first time.

Maybe it's my age, but, like sex, it'd feel like it's all happening too soon. Sip the wine, don't gulp it.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Empty promises
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:05:29 PM
Date me. I promise not to insult you by buying you anything.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile review please!
Posted: 11/11/2009 3:21:15 PM
As opposed to simply listing your interests, tell us about them in more detail. Where have you traveled so far and where do you hope to go next? Is it the culture of the destination that interests you or the architecture, etc.? Give us a glimpse into who you are that's deeper than just a list. The same with your reading interests.

You like going out, but to where? Clubs, parties, museums, art galleries, music concerts? If you've been somewhere interesting, tell us about it.

Can you give us an example of what you want in a man, not just a list of attributes? Have you seen a guy do something you really admire that's the perfect example of what you want in a man?

I guess what I'm recommending, overall, is that you flesh out your profile and make it more personal to you. Right now it could apply to a thousand girls. I like that you're keeping it light-hearted, don't lose that aspect.

Best of luck!
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
superficial salutations
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:54:00 PM
Many cry out for the truth but few can deal with it.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
guy just wants to be friends for now...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:38:43 AM
Why have a relationship with a guy who can't enjoy sex without punishing himself about it later? Did he go through this same drama with the last girl he was with? One thing you can be sure of, if he ever gets married it's going to be to a virgin, not you. If you can deal with having him as a friend, great. But I doubt the sexual tension will go away and you'll be a convenient lay if he gets too horny to stay on God's path.

You wanted sex quickly, he wasn't sure if he wanted sex at all. That's a red light right there. My vote? Walk away from the guy.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Would you ever let your friend have your child?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:27:20 PM
I have a gay friend who fathered a child for a lesbian couple. They kept the child and he has visitation rights. They wanted a father whom they knew, liked and respected the characteristics of. He, a single man, wanted a child but wasn't in a long-term relationship in which he could raise the kid with two parents. From what I can tell as an observer it seems to be working out. Hell, a child can never have too many people loving them, can they?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Chinese girl...
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:14:57 PM
Find out if she speaks Mandarin or Cantonese, then learn a few phrases in that dialect. Things like, "hello," "thank you," and, "I like you." It will impress her that you took the trouble to master a few words in her language. My cousin learned a great deal of Mandarin and on a visit to China met a beautiful woman who appreciated the respect he was showing the Chinese people when he spoke. They have just had their first child. And by the way, she is the sweetest girl you could hope to meet.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
All Advise needed
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:39:17 PM
In your profile, you say you're, "...looking for a man who knows how to treat a lady." Then you turn around and get involved with a man who cheats behind his girlfriend's back and treats you like shit. And where's your self-respect in sleeping with him? Hell, the best chance you have of winning him back is for you to walk away and see if he chases you. But you're too easy on so many levels. You're hanging around hoping he'll choose you again so you can have a "great," relationship. It was so great that it ended, right? You're 25, it's time you started to grow up. Do you want to spend your life being at someone's disposal? Put your big girl pants on and deal with the pain of parting from him. You're going to have to go through it now or later.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Has any guy read Manhood for Amateurs?
Posted: 10/19/2009 7:14:34 PM
Anything Michael Chabon writes is worth a read. I'm wondering how much of this book is meant to be a true self-help guide. Or is it possible it's a novel, using that title to further it's subject?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Woman pays $10,000 to find a husband ?
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:50:57 PM
I could have introduced her to my cousin Melvin for only $9.000. Everyone in the family says he's a real catch. Owns his own rubber raft, knows how to change a light bulb (even the long ones) and has never once spoken a complicated word over two syllables. We'd be happy to crate him up and ship him to her.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Military guy
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:22:40 AM
You are taking a chance with anyone who is only in your country on a temporary basis. They are more apt to play a girl. But what do you hope to have happen with a military man? That he will stay in Thailand to be with you? That he will take you back to America with him? What are the odds of either one happening? So, since he doesn't see the relationship as having the possibility of being long-term, he's not going to take it seriously.

If you are interested in Caucasians you might be better off dating permanent residents.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Friend to dateable.
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:27:16 PM
If everyone is putting you in the friend zone then it's something you're doing, not something they're doing. You have to examine how you conduct yourself in your initial introduction to people. When you meet an interesting man, remember, he's not your friend, so don't treat him as such. He's a possible partner. Going from friend to potential lover is nigh on impossible. Be friendly, but don't act like a pal.

Try dressing sexier and initiate physical contact....close in on a man you're interested in and lean on him, touch his arm, lightly bump into him. Those kinds of things give us men a chemical reaction.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Am I being neurotic or do I have reason?
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:13:50 PM
Although everyone is certain this gap in communication indicates a lack of interest, I'd like to offer another theory. Is it possible that he has personal or business issues that are taking up his time right now? Unfortunately, it would be a bad move on all levels were you to contact him again, right now. As suspenseful and tension-filled waiting feels, you can't chase him. The next few days will tell the story.

It's possible he took advantage of your emotional vulnerability. If so, he's a snake. If he's treated you badly please don't let it color your opinion of all men.

Reading your wonderful profile makes it very clear that you're an exceedingly bright person. Not everyone can deal with that - they are overwhelmed by your intelligence. That may help explain your problem getting dates. You're a one-of-a-kind girl. That's wonderful, but may limit the amount of men who have the nerve to approach you.

I'm so sorry you had to suffer as a child. Psychologically as well as physically. I wish you every happiness and I hope the other posters treat you with empathy.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
First date requests
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:51:51 PM
One date does not a relationship make. (Cute saying, huh? Or is it sickening?) If you're one of those rare souls who recognizes a soul-mate the minute she lays eyes on him, then exclusivity it is. But if you're already wondering what he's up to, it's time to let him go...and quickly. You're obviously still looking. Why spend time with someone whose dating philosophy is completely opposite to yours? Let him go now, before he gets hurt.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
He's changed...and not for the better.
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:26:02 AM
Talk to him privately and tell him how seriously you take the physical interactions. Explain to him that you consider them to be deal-breakers. Bear in mind, this may be the way he played with his fiancee and because he's feeling comfortable with you he's replicating his behavior. I wouldn't like being put in a headlock either. I don't like being muscled around. On the other hand, it would only cause me a momentary loss of temper. You're considering pretty drastic steps - might you be over dramatizing this?
Talk to the guy and not just when you're angry. Do it when you're calm and clear.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What should a girl wear on a first date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 11:17:41 PM
anything that isn't baggy, stained or has ferrets in the pockets. i think most men simply like it when a girl looks like she's gotten dressed in a way that shows she took a bit of time to puck out her clothes. It impresses a guy - he might feel he's got to live up to the trouble you took to get dressed.

Be kind to the allergic - no perfume. Minimal make-up....no putting a "face" on.

But really, it's you who is going to impress him, not the clothes.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What's the sexiest thing a woman 's ever done to you?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:22:43 PM
The sexiest thing? Allow another woman into our bed. If that doesn't pull your man out of "average," mode, then there is something seriously wrong with him.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Love or Not
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:09:01 PM
If he had the bad judgment to introduce you to his children within a month of meeting you then he's not a person you want to give your time to. He's irresponsible and unthinking. And he's been seeing you that short a time and he loves you? He's a man with a family, he can't go off of emotional fliers. If you're not sure whether to stay or go, then go. You're heading for deep water if you stay.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 95 (view)
 
False I.D. to Prove We're Younger??
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:12:20 PM
I'm 58. I have false ID that says I'm 72 because I like to hear people say how good I look for my age.

Truth: I had my turn being in my 40's, now it's someone else's turn. I try to be comfortable and gracious about what age I truly am. A life of self-denial, where you're trying to turn back the clock, is not attractive. It's verbal botox when you lie about your age.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
26.m attracted to older women...should i act on this, or ignore?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:49:37 PM
There's nothing wrong with anything that two consenting adults agree to that doesn't harm others. I've worked from the time I was 16. By 20 I was partners in a business. My point is that I was mature. At 22 I was living with a woman of 30. There were no gaps in our relationship. Neither of us were interested in popular culture so that wasn't an issue.

I appreciated that she wasn't immature, had accomplishments she could point to,, had a healthy/mature sexual attitude and was a woman, not a girl. She wasn't a "Cougar." She didn't know my age when we met. I had a beard. Attraction is attraction. If it's just sexual, I guess a "Cougar," is the way to go. If you're looking for something more substantial get yourself to where older women hang out and meet as many as you can. There's bound to be mutual interest with someone.

Good luck.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Definitive signs of interest...
Posted: 10/8/2009 12:19:58 PM
For some reason he's picked you out of the crowd...maybe he's read your intelligent postings on POF and is determined to get to know the girl behind the keyboard. I've seen your writing and your profile - you should be confident. Why wouldn't the guy be attracted to you?

Whether it be friendship or romantic interest, why not cultivate it? Smile at him before he smiles at you, start a conversation, ask a question...None of these leave you in a vulnerable position. Just keep the channels of conversation open. If he doesn't ask you out, invite him for a coffee on the pretense of wanting to know more about Canada, or discuss a topic that was raised in class.

If you make a first move like that and he doesn't reciprocate, then he's just a lonely guy seeking new friends. Hopefully, however, he'll soon realize what a dynamite woman you are and will begin strumming hes guitar and singing songs beneath your window and leaving bouquets at your door. Remember me when it's time to name the baby.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
whats up with guys saying i love you and not meaning it
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:57:43 PM
I've never used the L. word to get in a girl's pants. Most times I've said it was when a woman pushed me and pushed me to declare myself and I wore down. I consider it a very, "big," word and don't merely apply it to sex. So, I guess I fall into the 1% bracket.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Am I realistic here?
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:58:08 PM
As you already know from experience, most Americans do not want to wait a long time before they have sex. There are many women who would object to waiting six months before consummating a relationship. But, there are men out there who believe in waiting until the woman (or himself) are ready, even if the duration of time is a long one. There are fewer of them, most certainly. So, in regards as to whether you're realistic, it's a matter of whether you can wait as long to meet the right man as you are willing to wait to have sex. You're less realistic, because of how American society works, but what you seek isn't impossible to find.

Is it your wish to only be with a Caucasian? There must be clubs and groups of Asians who meet together on a regular basis. Perhaps you'll find more traditional men there. Are you Christian? Would you feel comfortable going to Church socials? As you've no doubt learned, you won't meet the kind of man you seek in a bar.

Personally, I love your profile and the way you think. If you might be interested in a 58 yr. old man who is willing to wait for as long as it takes, send me a message. In the meantime keep very still and be on your own, but not alone. Best of luck with your quest.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
sorry if this is innapropriate
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:24:11 AM
My buddies and I won't tell you if we're submissive unless you spank us.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Would This Offend You?
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:19:26 AM
"A better picture...for future use." I'm trying really hard to imagine what use he puts this photo to. If he wanted to show you his Johnson why didn't he slap the real thing on the table? "...for future use." Is this photo one of the "tools" he used to seduce you? Bought you dinner and then slipped you a photo of his****before you had dessert?

Perhaps he'd given the photo to several other women and was now worried about how they'd perceive him.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What do I do with this??
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:07:11 AM
Can you imagine the rules this guy has for making love? You must spend 6 1/2 minutes on your left side before rolling over and returning his affection in a loving way. You may only apply 47% of the pressure in a kiss. And never use a word with a vowel in it when you are stroking his back.

There is no negative reflection on you for wanting to step away. Forgetting his protocol for a moment, let's just look at his angry reaction to you. Not permissible. Some of us are single because of circumstance and luck. Others because of their own doing. He sounds like he's in the later case. Who needs him?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 235 (view)
 
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:06:53 AM
Remember, two 25 year old's equal a 50 year old. That's why every respectful man should be indulging in threesomes with young women. It's the mature thing to do, gosh darn it.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
need a second opinion please
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:01:02 AM
Some people like stepping in sh*t until they're until they're in up to their ankles. You smell that stink? That's your future.

You're a masochist. That should make you happy about the days to come.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Ladies, what were some of your most enjoyable first or second dates?
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:50:38 PM
Rent a boat, take it out into water deep enough where you can barely see the lights of the shore. Open a bottle of champagne, pour two glasses. Lie in the hammock next to her and, assuming she is comfortable with this, do not speak for half an hour, and simply stare up at the skies. Let nature and lips take their course.

If that is too expensive, try a bowling alley. That's always fun. Take a walk up Venice Beach to the Santa Monica Pier, then walk to the western end, grab a seat on the steps and watch the fishermen and the ocean. Or bring a blanket for the sand. A jazz club, a dance club, a foreign stamp club.

The world is your oyster.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
should I do it with someone ive worked w for 7 yrs. and is a good friend
Posted: 9/29/2009 5:15:32 PM
You call yourself a one-man woman. Yeah, a one-man woman playing around with a two-woman man. I can't wait until he divorces, marries you, and then starts fooling around on the side. And Babe, you'll deserve it.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
not good in bed??
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:27:34 PM
I'm baffled as to what people see as a fraud in her profile. Working out and eating junk food do not have to be polar opposites. Lots of young people eat junk food. I'm shure that even ones who do push ups eat trash. She's looking for male friends...that's okay, isn't it? And she makes it clear that she's a Mom. The question she's asking about could be about a guy from the past and she wants to know what to do if the situation comes up again with another guy. It could be about many things.

I might be missing something. If so, please enlighten me....in a polite manner, please.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
not good in bed??
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:18:55 PM
You shouldn't write using capital letters only. It's considered to be rude, like speaking too loud.

How about if you say, "Here's something else that I like." As if he's a good lover, but you simply want to add to his repertoire. Keep adding things on the sex list until he's learned to do all you like. Then tell him he's a great lover. Hopefully he'll keep up his new methods.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Tempted to contact him
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:11:46 PM
Unless he was dying on his sick bed, he would get in touch with you if he wanted to. Obviously, he doesn't. To continue trying to reach him will just humiliate you when you think about it, later. As to whether the fault was yours? His story was an unlikely one. Still, you could have seen if he could prove it before you accused him. Maybe the big lesson is that you shouldn't date someone who's just come out of a relationship. The guy isn't emotionally free yet.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What’s your secret to success??
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:58:55 PM
Keep the message fairly short and conversational in tone. Make the woman feel at ease, as if she's speaking to someone she already knows. Make at least one reference to her profile - something you're truly interested in. Don't say, "You're hot," or other phrases that are in poor taste. And lastly, try to make her smile. Being able to make a woman laugh makes you more attractive and lightens the tension of on-line dating.

I'm an old guy, but I don't imagine it's different for me than it would be for any other man.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
why is he staring
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:09:48 PM
Maybe he's actually wearing raisinets, in order to protect his eyes from deadly rays being sent down on us by Terrorists. Maybe he's the smartest one of all of us. Maybe, instead of criticizing, you should buy yourself some raisinets.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Meeting Half Way
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:54:57 PM
I don't understand your friend's advice. Why should the guy have to, "work for it." Is this a game? You should make an equal effort to be considerate of each other. Besides, he WAS willing to go the whole distance to see you, until you were gracious enough to offer to meet him halfway. If there is something that has to be proved, he's proven it.

My guess is that you've made a lot of points with him. Don't make the guy jump through hoops. Treat him the way you'd like to be treated and see how it goes.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is he interested?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:14:09 AM
2 weeks of only e-mailing does not bode well for a phone call. He may be the world's biggest coward. He might be content with the relationship as it is, with you in the, "friend," category. Perhaps he feels you're more fun in the current relationship than you might be in a dating scenario.

Why not take the bull by the horns and ask him why he hasn't asked you out? If his reasons/excuses seem lame, then find a guy who can get off the dime.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
6 feet tall, do i wear heels?
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:00:33 PM
Wear flats on the first date. Inform him that you generally wear heels and make it clear you will be next time. If he can't deal with it, he won't call you. Personally, I'm 5'7" and I could deal you in heels:) If a guy lets an inch or two in height make a difference in his self-esteem, then he hasn't got enough self-esteem to begin with.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Haven't heard from him
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:50:35 PM
Why let a misunderstanding ruin a potential relationship?You were wise to get back in touch with him, especially if he's a sensitive guy. Best of luck!
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Does this mean anything or was it just chat?
Posted: 9/22/2009 7:24:11 PM
Giving the stories a humorous twist is his way of trying to deal with the pain of divorce, by transforming it into something else. No guy sits down with a woman he barely knows - who he seems attracted to - and goes on and on about his ex-wife. Unless you were encouraging him it's in poor taste, and from what you said you were only bemused, not amused.

If you're thinking of him as a potential date, I recommend you look elsewhere.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
why is he holding onto this relationship.
Posted: 9/22/2009 9:24:22 AM
You're standing on the corner waiting for a broken streetlight to change so you can cross. That tick-tock you hear is the sound of your life passing by. I'm always mystified as to why a woman will believe so fervently that a man might change. This guy so has you in his back pocket. And you're willing to be, "considered," for a long-term relationship? Put on your big girl pants and walk away. And don't stop at any guy's door who doesn't give you respect.
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Guy Friend is going thru a crisis. What can I do to help him?
Posted: 9/21/2009 7:48:19 PM
If you want to take him somewhere I'd recommend a place where he can lose himself and not be tempted to go inward. A baseball game for instance, as opposed to fishing, where you're left alone with your thoughts. A bar is a bad idea. If he's not a sports guy, how about a walk through a museum. Anything that takes his focus off of himself, the poor guy.
 
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