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Thread: Why am i going through a dull patch in relationships?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Why am i going through a dull patch in relationships? Posted: 5/6/2009 9:53:29 AM
Yes you have to get out there and do some nightlife not Westlife. For those of you outside of the UK... this was very funny. Dull patches happen, but yeah... at your age it's waaaaay too soon to think you hit your wall. Just relax and do what you want to do with your spare time. If it's veg and hang at the cinema, veg and hang at the cinema. However, if your mates want to drag your arse out for some real fun from time to time, by all means let them. Dull patches can only be solved by meeting people, after all.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How many times do you say 'Hi' on msn? Posted: 5/6/2009 9:19:47 AM
You know that feeling you have? The one that a bunch of people are gonna say she's not interested? It's a valid feeling. Go with it. She would have responded by now, so don't switch to stalker-mode. Yeah. She contacted you first, which IS cool, but for one reason or another she's not interested since the MSN chat you both had. Could be unrelated, could be something came up that made her go "hmmm... nope." There's no way of knowing, but this is the "fun" of dating, yes? WHEEEEEEE!!! Happens to everyone. I know... sucks. As awesome as she seemed in your head, just pepper some flaws in there that would turn you off. Since you didn't really know her all that well, anything you make up will be just as valid. Maybe she has nacho cheese foot stink or something. Hey... it helps. Lick your minor wounds and move on. Just gotta keep pluggin' away at it, sometimes.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Men wanting compliments Posted: 5/6/2009 3:43:18 AM
Thanks for the replies so far. So interesting. The variety of responses to questions like this fascinate me, so. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Some people see the question for what it is, some recognize the esteem issues in both sides, some seriously need to get over themselves... never fails around here. Too funny. (However... as if I ever actually said to someone "my my... you don't stink at all" without joking. I mean REALLY people...). Keep it comin'.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Men wanting compliments Posted: 5/5/2009 11:11:52 PM
What do y'all think? I've always been big on giving compliments. Nothing suck-upy, just matter of fact statements and greetings like "hey, prettygirl" and "my my... you don't stink at all" or whatever. It's never smarmy and only given out to someone once I start to know them... NOT in a drunken state of desperation or anything... so off the judgy-horse. I saw you about to climb on that judgy-horse, don't pretend you weren't... keep away from the judgy-horse. Anyway, I'm currently seeing this quite lovely, and dare I say "intoxicating" woman who is screwed up and quirky enough in just the right ways to dig me. I know... "what a fool," right? Seems, though, she's not too big on the compliment reciprocation. See... she's socially nutzed enough to not only be able to relate to me but also can openly admit that she's not very good at giving compliments or even getting them, for that matter... as no one has ever tossed them her way and meant them before. Like, EVER. If you met her, you wouldn't get it either. Trust me. Is it strange for a dude to dig not only giving the compliments but also to have them lobbed back at him? I know many feel that appreciation is shown in the doing and not just the saying, but is it really so unusual to verbalize it? To want it? On the other side of the behavior... anyone out there just never do it or expect it and happily march onwards without it? Weakness? Strength? Where do people stand on compliments, anyway?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

My ex is just using me, right? Posted: 4/7/2009 12:07:05 PM
I'm sure there's some using going on back and forth here... it's just human nature. He's got nowhere else to go right now and you (I'm sure...) hope by having him around he will be smart enough to change his mind and proclaim how stupid and wrong he was for breaking up with you. We've all been there. It's okay. It's not healthy, but it's okay and it won't kill you. If he's not actively looking for a place, I'm sure you know he's gotta get in gear and get out of there. The sooner with the clean break the better, and the clean break MEANS not having the other person around. If he needed to break up then he has to deal with the consequences and perhaps not live in a place he digs for a few months.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Rut in life, and only 20 Posted: 4/7/2009 11:58:48 AM
Ehhh... I know it's crap to say to a fella, but it gets better. You just gotta ride thru the tough days when you wonder why the heck you even exist at all to get to the next day. Try not to think of this moment in life as leaving anything behind... but as something else ahead. Hopefully something better. I'm doing the "move back home to take care of family" thing right now too and I'm in a fairly consistent hate of the area, but it's something I know I have to do and... unless I suddenly turn into a complete jerk... I will grow into an even better person because of it. Who I meet, where my career goes from here... yeah. It's fuzzy. And, yeah... I'm damned lonely right now, but travel to "hook up" with someone just ain't an option both personally and financially, so in order to keep my sanity I gotta make my own fun. A lotta movies local bands and bookstores do it for me. Sure, it's tough to be happy at a time like this... and the solitude drives a man bonkers on occasion, but it's all about how we end up still bettering ourselves to come out on top. This is how we grow up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to my cat like she's a person.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Is this correct? Posted: 4/6/2009 10:30:00 PM
Yes. Your wife's friend is absolutely right. So don't do what you do and do what you don't do. It's that simple.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

do i say what i do in school? Posted: 4/6/2009 5:15:52 PM
Simple. Say what you do in school. Fact of the matter is, we're all "judged" to some extent on every aspect of our personality, so there's no need to sugar-coat anything that sure as heck doesn't need sugar-coated. If a guy is put off by what you are doing with your life, then he's not the right guy. There's no need to "surprise" him about it later. It's silly. Just be honest.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

foot massage/pedicure like it or loose it Posted: 4/6/2009 4:55:19 PM
So when can a massage be just a massage, and dinner be just dinner, and flowers be just flowers... Only the giver of said items knows his true reasons behind it there, Commander Riker. It's only confusing to a guy if he usually gives, flowers, massages and dinner when he's expecting something in return.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Interested but Lacking Chemistry Posted: 4/6/2009 2:59:21 PM
You're weeeirrrd. If you have to psyche yourself up to plant a wet one on his plump, drooly, juicy lips... what's the point, sister? I mean, sure, go ahead and think he's a cool guy with a killer personality... that's fine. He's just a great person to know, not to get horizontal with. But if he doesn't float your boat, it's no different than hooking up with a guy that looks like The Rock and has the charm and personality of one. Either way, something important is missing from the equation. I mean... listen to yourself... "the Fugly one..." You are sooo not physically attracted to him. Why sell yourself... and especially him... short if you aren't really into the guy? You even seem to think him fairly beneath you, anyway, if you have to convince yourself to... DOG FORBID... kiss him and all. Don't try to do him any favors. I'm sure the right gal will dig him for the right reasons and not think he has to be "warmed up to." EDIT MSG 5: Ummm... no. True chemistry is sustained and nurtured over time, as the couple evolves together. Lust is indeed different... as it only deals with the sexual aspect, but if two people mesh on every level there is no way to call it anything other than "chemistry." Yes. You can indeed find someone attractive over time... someone who you did not even dig before... but there's no way to force that. It only occurs by getting to know a person. The only people who honestly feel that you aren't supposed to be attracted mentally and physically to a person are one's who are severely lacking in one or both departments.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

foot massage/pedicure like it or loose it Posted: 4/6/2009 2:46:45 PM
A pedicure? You actually find women get charged up from a pedicure? So, when does the magic begin here... is the closer to the pumice stone or the nail clippers? Foot rubbing is such a female thing though, isn't it? I rarely subscribe to the "males do this females do that" type of thinking, but I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that many women dig a good foot rub. Have yet to meet a set of tootsies that don't enjoy the attention. I think it's one of the few things that any truly clueless fellow should remember... ladies like foot rubs. Me... I HATE it when people touch my feet, so don't even try it buster.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Would a woman want..... Posted: 4/6/2009 2:13:47 PM
He should jump in only when he feels he is ready and can emotionally handle it. I'm sure he still has some serious stuff to suss out in his noggin there, so let the poor guy do what he needs to do, for now. If he ends up dateless/womanless in around 2 years time... THEN get on his back.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Why do men feel they have to show there private parts to woman on line with out asking persmission? Posted: 4/3/2009 3:17:56 PM
Wait wait wait wait wait wait... You mean women DON'T want to see a picture of my penis!!?? But.. but... I LOVE my penis. My penis kicks ass. I want to share my penis with the WORLD!!! It's breathtaking, my penis is. I've written poems about my penis. Now you are saying that women actually don't want to even receive a picture of it? Wow, what am I gonna do with all these snapshots? Some guys are cavemen. They think if they wiggle their junk that the ladies will get all hot and bothered... I never understood it myself and have always found it best to share the glory of my nakedness when it is appropriate or... at the very least... when there is a low light situation.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What are some no-go qualities in a girl for you? Posted: 4/3/2009 11:31:38 AM
Looks are important to attraction... no need to apologize at all. The people who b1tch about that are either ugly as sin or jealous. Period. Anyway... brutal honesty here: 1. Not attracted to their pics. 2. A write up that either tells me nothing at all or is filled with cliches like "Looking for an honest man" or whatever. 3. If I'm not attracted to their pics. 4. Obviously, if the interests don't mesh. 5. If I'm not attracted to their pics.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

How fair is it? Posted: 4/3/2009 8:49:21 AM
I don't think it's "judging" going on here... just curiosity. I've asked women concerning their success using this (and other...) sites and it was never coming from a place of making a strange sort of judgment about them. It was always just simply wanting to know if they had any good experiences... or honestly bad ones, really. Anything to make ME look better. But I don't think any women make a decision on seeing a guy due to how many birds he's pulled from a dating site. There are many other things to concern ourselves over when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Have a few Jelly Babies and relax, man.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Are most guys here only looking for a physical relationship? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:34:34 PM
Duuuuude... I can see why you're name isn't StableCat. Plus it's like mad crazy rude to hijack a thread like this. Shame on you SableCat. SHAME ON YOU...

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Please? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:23:55 PM
Friend... right now I can honestly say that one word currently sums up my dating life. "Pleeeeaaaaase?" Although, from what I can remember about this thing which you call "sex," it has usually been free from the use of such a word.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Are most guys here only looking for a physical relationship? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:09:06 PM
I want a person who understands me mentally, wants me physically and enhances me emotionally. I want to provide the same in return.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Girls wanting to watch porn with boyfriends Posted: 3/31/2009 10:27:54 PM
Girls wanting to watch porn with boyfriends... ... are the loveliest girls in the world. I think that was a song by Englebert Humperdink.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Trying to covince her.... why is it so hard? Posted: 3/31/2009 10:24:46 PM
Have you contacted her yet? Okay... that was unintentionally funny. You know, man. I've been in that frame of mind before. 'Wow. This woman has the perfect profile, she likes the things I like, has the same sense of humor, same sense of style and... good lord... is she purdy. I think I'll just pop off a message to show her how witty I am. She is going to be SO swooning over me, boy-o." Fast forward 2 days later when I get no response... "Ehhh... she's not all that. Even a little cross-eyed, too." Don't get too ahead of yourself, man. Just one day at a time things here, okay? Just point out similar aspects in each others profiles and she'll take it from there. If she's not attracted and doesn't respond... meh. Believe it or not, there are plenty other "perfect women" out there. Heck, right now I'm chatting daily to a gal that meets all of my crazy criteria (on another site... sorry ladies...) and I certainly know we might not mesh when/if we meet. I'll regroup and move on if needed. I'm too awesome to not have a perfect match or 70 out there. vv I don't think the OP feels it's "in the bag" as it were, or else he wouldn't be so clammy-palmed about contacting her. vv

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

does humor come across in text? How? Posted: 3/29/2009 8:22:09 PM
The problem is, guys who have no clue about women think only women would be able to give proper advice. The truth is they need all the help they can get. if you don't gots it, my friend, don't try it. Dry wit is something you inherit... like attached earlobes. Your best bet is to stick with your own strong points and build on those. For instance, If you have a corny sense of humor, be corny in your profile. If you have a naughty sense of humor, be naughty in your profile. If you have NO sense of humor, consider a career in management. It's a matter of using what you got, not pretending to be something else. But I'm not a woman, so what do I know?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Ladies why do you post pictures Posted: 3/29/2009 12:15:27 PM
I'll admit it. Women's feet can be ADORABLE!!! If I see a profile with a pic of a gals feet I giggle like a schoolgirl. It's not a fetish thing... feet are cute and feet are funny. Women's feet, anyway. Men's feet make me taste bile at the back of my throat. I always assumed the women who do this are just being silly. They are in the middle of snapping pics of themselves lookin' all purdy and just grab a quick one of their tootsies, ESPECIALLY if they just had a pedi. It's nothing that has bugged me too much. Now, if she posts a haggard pic of herself surrounded by her 3-5 children... pass.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Paid site guys necessarily more serious? Posted: 3/29/2009 12:06:47 PM
It's a poor craftsman who blames his tools. Ah HUH huh... HUH HUH HUH... Ah HUH huh huh... I'm pretty sure if you take a sample of 100 guys from a paid site and 100 guys from a free site, you'd get pretty much the same assortment of guys. Cutiepie, you're a smart cookie. You know full well that many guys are out there to sew their oats for as long as humanly possible. What makes it harder, the guys who DO want a real "relationship" just aren't that attractive and want to settle down because they aren't able to have the lifestyle of their hornier peers. So what's a gal to do? Take the initiative. You see a guy that meets what you are looking for... LUNGE AT HIM!!! You read a profile that hits all your right buttons.... ATTACK!!! You get an email from a guy that seems sweet and nice but has the face of rotting kumquat... DELETE!!! I think we... meaning men and women... just need to be more aggressive as to what we want, because it's too damned easy to only notice the all the jerks and rejects who are sitting on the surface. Think of it as getting that toy from a box of cereal. You could wait until you've eaten cereal for a few days and the toy will just PLOP in your bowl or you could just JAM your lil' hand in there and make a big ol' mess of everything, getting Rice Krispies allll over the place.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Curvy butts.... Posted: 3/28/2009 10:21:07 PM
Sort of like too much cleavage...when is it too much? Just as long as there is no "butt cleavage" I am sure you'll be fine. See... the thing is, when we dress a certain way to "disguise" a feature of our bodies, chances are people already notice anyway and it's only something we do for ourselves, psychologically. If you have a prominent posterior... surprise surprise sister, everyone knows anyway. Don't you ever watch What Not To Wear? SHEESH!!!

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Why do all the pretty girls reject me? Posted: 3/28/2009 9:53:18 PM
I find it hard to believe that all women ACTUALLY say you "aren't good enough" for them. They know nothing about you, sure, but why would they want to know about you if they aren't attracted to you? There is such a ridiculous sense of entitlement that "swell/nice guys" get whenever they try to chat up a gal because they are soooo wonderful inside, yet they seem to get the order of things all messed up. If someone is attracted to you THEN they want to get to know you... it seldom works the other way around. Besides, if all you really cared about was getting to know someone, why don't you try to chat up ugly women? It's not like you are trying to get them into bed, riiigghhhtt? I'm sure ugly women love to swim and roller blade, too. Honestly, man. Not trying to give you a hard time, simply honesty. Just think logically and realistically about the women you approach. If you can't attract the "pretty girls" with your personality and charm alone, then look at yourself and figure out what it is that you are indeed missing. Most of the time the issue is within.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

How do my Pictures Protray Me? Posted: 3/28/2009 10:03:46 AM
I'd do ya. I'm sure the right woman for you would find it funny. We all have our equals out there in the sense of humor department. That said however... all your pics did was remind me that I still need to go jogging today.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Guys: Would This Flatter You? Posted: 3/28/2009 12:18:28 AM
I've always sorta assumed that men in general ... are more flattered when they are complimented on their skills and/or smarts rather than just their looks alone. I can honestly say with little doubt in my mind that I would rather hear "Hi gorgeous" coming from the lips of a woman than "My, you are a very good driver."

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

am i to picky Posted: 3/27/2009 8:24:41 PM
I'm the same way, OP. We all have criteria that we, sometimes, feel might be too much for what we realistically can attract for the long term. I'm just thankful for gals with strange tastes in men. Oh... and if the gal has a medical condition, it better be acute. OMG GET IT!!!!??? ACUTE!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh that's rich. ACUTE!!!!!!! I'm so lonely.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

What would you do... Posted: 3/27/2009 6:31:08 PM
I'd get all googly-eyed & blush, insist on giving you some cash, and introduce myself... then wave to you when I saw you later down the street. ... or just feel pretty good for the rest of the day.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Owns a Car: No Posted: 3/27/2009 6:26:51 PM
Depends on the location. When I lived in the DC area, there were plenty of people I dated who didn't drive... but even there I felt a car is needed. I feel too tied down and helpless without a car. Besides, plenty of places to park if you live in the right building, really and the metro and cab fare can add up like crazy. My last girlfriend didn't drive and... even though I dug her... sometimes I grew weary of driving. In my experiences, public transportation can only take you so many places.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Why would he do that? Posted: 3/27/2009 11:52:59 AM
He wants out. He either can't admit it to himself yet or is really trying his damnedest to fight it by using these dating sites as a "healthier" outlet other than full-on cheating. Either way, something is missing from the relationship. Either because of him, because of you or both (usually both...). If it bothers you, talk to him about it... without looking for a fight or being confrontational. Let him know how much it bothers you and how much it makes you worried for the relationship. If he blows you off and/or refuses to discuss it... sounds like things are pretty much headed to a finish anyway.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

I can't ask this in the Posted: 3/27/2009 11:30:14 AM
If a guy has no wit, charm, class or interesting aspects to himself... then a nice car is all a guy has to fall back on. Like a peacock, some guys like to show the things they have in order to impress the lady folk. There are two pathetic aspects to this behavior. One is that a fella thinks this will work or even matter to a woman. Two is that in some cases it does.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Do you like bubble gum? Any special meaning? Posted: 3/27/2009 12:49:26 AM
^^ Also according to Urban Dictionary: gummi bear receiving oral sex from someone without teeth or one who was taken their false teeth and/or dentures out to perform the act. "Yo man, your grandma just gave me a gummi bear" twizzler the act of crossing the index and middle fingers and inserting them into a woman's vagina with a deep thrust. "she never called me back after i gave her the twizzler last week." I love that site.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Do you like bubble gum? Any special meaning? Posted: 3/26/2009 11:16:55 PM
I consulted the oh so trusty Urban Dictionary and apparently "Bubble Gum" can be used as slang for either "a type of marijuana," "oral sex" or "vagina." There are other meanings listed, but I have a feeling if he DIDN'T really just mean actual bubble gum, he meant one of those three. *"So I asked back how he knew I liked bubble gum?"* Makes that statement all the funnier, now doesn't it?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Do you like bubble gum? Any special meaning? Posted: 3/26/2009 11:12:31 PM
I consulted the oh so trusty Urban Dictionary and apparently "Bubble Gum" can be used as slang for either "a type of marijuana," "oral sex" or "vagina." There are other meanings listed, but I have a feeling if he DIDN'T really just mean actual bubble gum, he meant one of those three. "So I asked back how he knew I liked bubble gum?" Makes that statement all the funnier, now doesn't it?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Be honest. Posted: 3/26/2009 11:05:56 PM
Well... if you don't have any esteem issues concerning your looks, what does it matter hmmmmmm? It means nothing. People on this site just zip thru to the next pic and click the same number over and over again... usually a low one. It's no reflection of anything... it's just something included for a bit of fun and not meant to be taken seriously. Relax.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How to tell what she is really thinking? Posted: 3/26/2009 4:40:43 PM
Right after she mentioned that she's going away from a while but would like to see you again after she came back, you tell her you MIGHT have a kid. Oh... and she only had a week invested into this relationship. Hmmmm... Nope. No clue why she'd change her story like that. Some people are just wishy-washy that way, I suppose. Sounds like you dodged a crazybullet there, my friend. Good luck with the seed-spreading.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Pictures on line Posted: 3/26/2009 2:50:17 PM
Honestly BDM, no one is going to photochop your head onto someone else's body. That only tends to happen to people in the public eye and celebrities. So, unless you happen to be Lindsey Lohan, I think you're safe. There are people who don't post pics on sites like this and they only share what they look like when a person starts chatting with them. Works for some, doesn't work for others... but they certainly get far less people clicking on their profiles. If you aren't even willing to let a person know what you look like UNTIL you meet... nope. Not gonna have a lot of success that way. This goes for men and women... if you don't post a pic, people generally assume you are hiding something. Of course, you ARE hiding something, but people also assume the worst in a dating atmosphere because... let's be honest... we want to be attracted to someone's looks as well, here.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

If a friend tells you they love you? Posted: 3/25/2009 8:39:34 PM
Dude... right now I only hear that "L" word from my mother, so I'd GLADLY take it from a friend AND a gal I'm seeing. Honestly, it's a tough spot for her (I am assuming "her") to put you in. She' s already made the misstep to ruin the friendship by telling you. Gutsy in a John Hughes movie sort of way, but it sounds like you are pretty solid in your choice so bad news for Friend. You just have to be honest and hope for the best, knowing that she no doubt will have to step away.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Sexting Posted: 3/25/2009 1:00:23 PM
I barely can handle seeing myself naked in a MIRROR, why on earth would I want to take a picture to capture the moment? (I am just kidding, of course. I can spend hours simply staring at my own reflection...)

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Reality vs Pics Posted: 3/25/2009 12:54:29 PM
I think rarely does anyone say "Ick... you look so much better in your pictures" unless someone intentionally pulled a fast one. Everyone I've met, too, said they were pleased with what they saw before them and not disappointed at all (granted, when I open my stupid mouth... GOODBYE NOOKIE!!!). People are strange. For as rude and selfish most of us are, we always bend the truth a little when it comes to two questions: 1. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't wake you, did I? and 2. So are you disappointed by what you see in person?

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Whats the problem with long hair on a guy ? Posted: 3/25/2009 8:15:01 AM
Ummm... since when was EVERYONE supposed to like you for "you?" If you refuse to cut your hair, Sampson, don't cut your freakin' hair. You'll then attract the type of girl that goes for that look... but not EVERY damned girl, for crying out loud. Some will like it, some won't. Today isn't any more about physical attraction than yesterday was. It's not about being "fake" or "glam." It's about what some people find attractive and what some people don't. It always has been and always will be about what we look like in addition to who we are. Few of us attract everyone. Trust me. There's nothing odd or unique about long hair. It's just a preference.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Do women see men as pepper? Posted: 3/24/2009 6:23:05 PM
Wait... pepper... cake... your metaphors are CRAZY BIG TIME mixed here, my friend. Most women don't want to meet a guy who is a complete and total loudmouthed jerk, but they don't want a guy who has less spine than Son of The Blob. Just be normal, for crying out loud. Be casual. Don't even think of it as "approaching" someone and just think of it as "talking" to someone. Honestly, there is no reason to make a big deal out of how to simply talk to a person. It's a crappy thing to say but... ugh... be yourself. The reason being, that's who you would like her to ultimately know, right? Not some person you are pretending to be to just start a "conversation" but to know "you." Unless you're just wanting to score, THEN simply do a sexy dance in front of her. Besides, if the gal you're chatting up isn't into you... she isn't into you.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Anyone here see Knowing? Posted: 3/24/2009 6:11:45 PM
W and a T and a big ol' F. I won't spoil anything at all here, but on a whim I caught it today because I liked some of Alex Proyas's earlier work and.. well... who doesn't like making fun of Nicholas "Not the Bees" Cage nowadays? Anyhoo... I was rolling my eyes at some of the most awkward (and obvious) character development moments that I've seen in a while, laughing openly at some horrible line delivery by Sir "How'd It Get Burned" Cage and gagging at his co-stars whiny screaming. The whole movie was about to be chalked up as another "no on believes the protagonist's crazy notions" flick... which it indeed was. Mostly. The end (again... keeping zipped here...) came out of nowhere and ended up redeeming all the mediocrity I had to sit though to get to it. It's so unfortunate the movie was so uneven like that (Cage had some brilliantly awful wigging out moments...), but I honestly ended up digging the flick because of the last 15 minutes. Wait. Not even that. Maybe the last 10 minutes. There was the big reveal (which admittedly led me to utter "Oh, COME ON" under my breath...) and then everything after the big reveal, which made the big reveal suddenly pretty darn cool. It actually redefined everything that came before it. I'm so mad. I've never been so completely turned around about a movie because of the last 10 minutes like that. Cage was still pretty damned funny, though.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Whats the Point Men Posted: 3/23/2009 8:05:16 PM
Nope. Everything doesn't have to revolve around sex. Refrigerator and air conditioning repair has nothing to do with sex. A really good BM has nothing to do with sex. My mother has nothing to do with sex and no one can ever tell me any differently. Dating... well... that's gotta do with sex ,sister. Sex and attraction. As they said... this IS a dating site, primarily. Even if there are other options (friends, activity partners...), they are indeed in the minority, for most are here to hook up and/or find that perfect partner. Now, of course we may happen to MAKE friends as our mugs bounce around the site and these forums, but that's just a happy side effect. Even that, however, takes time. We can't just proclaim "I want to make a friend" and then make a friend. At least I can't. Even friends need to have compatibility.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Why is taking your time such an issue? Posted: 3/23/2009 10:15:51 AM
Because a majority of women in their 20's don't wait, either. It's society, nknknnkin... hmmmm, can I call you "nknk?" It's society, nknk, pure and simple. Those days, for the most part, are long gone. Sure, there is a resurgence of sorts with the youngins today... but that's just a fad which will die the second many of their hormones kick into overdrive. I'm sure, if a guy falls for you hard enough, he will understand your stance on it and maybe... just maybe... share the same point of view. But to wonder "why" so many people aren't willing to wait is pretty darned naive, frankly.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Is there a such thing as too hot? Posted: 3/23/2009 10:09:57 AM
There is such a thing as not being attracted to someone so therefore there is such a thing as someone who can be "too hot" for someone else. Extreme example... someone who is super duper easy on the eyes will, chances are, never give the toothless bum a second glance. What counts "on the inside" only goes so far, realistically. Me... I hold onto the hope of a Roger Rabbit/Jessica Rabbit type of pairing. I'm the "Jessica" in the scenario, of course.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How do you start over Posted: 3/22/2009 9:01:15 PM
Without being crass, you need to get laid. It doesn't need to be meaningful, but it will be significant. It is a milestone in your "recovery". It puts distant between you and the ex. It also puts closure on the marriage and moving on will be easier (and most likely less frustrated). Divorce follows a path similar to a grieving process. Getting laid is a recognized step. Find the nearest larger town or hook up online - just make sure to take precautions. You don't need any momentos of this. As true as this can be... and for many people it is... keep in mind it's doesn't HAVE to go down that way. Even simply starting TO date helps put closure on a relationship/marriage without adding the stresses of "gettin' some." As with any general rule, there are many exceptions. Just remember that. Whatever is comfortable for you and whatever happens as the next step... well... sometimes it just happens. The next big thing theoretically can happen at any time. I'm a romantic. Sue me, okay? As far as "starting over"... yeah. A dating site is perfect. Just tiny "getting to know you/getting your feet wet" dates will certainly help boost your confidence after a failed marriage. You don't necessarily need to make it about gettin' jiggy with it. Just make it about reacquainting yourself with seeing another woman sitting across from you at the restaurant, first. THEN get jiggy. As far as getting past the ex, sometimes the only way to know if you can indeed handle dating again is to jump right in. The worst that can happen is that you just find you need more time. Hey, we're all human here.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

comb-overs & back hair Posted: 3/22/2009 6:01:06 PM
It's when the comb over IS the back hair.... BLAH!!! Comb overs look dumb. D-U-M-B dumb. Even getting a haircut that shows the thinning is better than a combover. HOMER SIMPSON has a combover. It's like the 55 year old guy getting his ear pierced for the first time. It's just too obvious. Of course I SAY that now with my full head of hair, but I'm sure my opinion will change eventually... Oh... and have you ever SEEN a guy with a forest of back hair at the beach!!?? I mean a guy that could charge money to give kids rides by hanging on to him... it's icky. Sure, some guys do have an issue with it and they can and do find a woman that loves them for all their flaws (the gal who will be smart enough to nab me sure will have some flaws to contend with. Hello... we're human...). We just all have our "ideal" is all.

i cornelius

Joined: 1/4/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Are there different types of fat? Posted: 3/22/2009 12:55:36 PM
Well, overweight is simply overweight no matter how you cut it. But I see what you are getting at and it has nothing to do with the weight as it does the person. Now, I'm not gonna get all stupid and lame with that "it's what inside that counts" crap, because that's what we say when we feel ugly. However, simply speaking aesthetically, there are some women who are indeed pretty and/or sexy and the weight doesn't matter one bit. I've seen them. They exist. Now, as everyone has said, it it ultimately a matter of personal preference. Me... I do tend to like women who are tiny and can swooped over my shoulder (oonga... me Cornelius... time for big hump-hump...), but that is not to say I am not able to nod my head in approval at someone who has some more squish on them. People are really just looking for a mate that attracts them and turns them on. Nothing much more simple than that. End of line................................

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