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Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Fresh off the presses ... Posted: 1/30/2009 5:08:48 PM
I like the profile. The expression is just about right. Pictures go well with what you wrote about yourself. Well, too bad, you aren't going to keep up with me (agewise) ha! Already got 3 gals put you as favs. That's enough said.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

I need feedback Posted: 1/30/2009 4:46:36 PM
All your pictures are, "you see one, you see them all". Try to be more lively. Readers expect you to tell them you are a captain of ...what?? Tell them! Don't get it: your being mellow, go with the flow guy and yet want eveything to be intrigue and exciting. Somewhat contradictory. Try to avoid caps (or bold). It makes you seem rigid and demanding.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

how do you get through this? Posted: 1/23/2009 4:13:05 PM
DON'T suppress your feelings. Acknowledge them. DON'T contact her in any way, shapes or forms. No smoke signals, or carrier pigeons. DON'T engage in the breakup hook-up. It only leaves you feeling used, confused, guility, and depressed. DON'T drink alcoholic beverages. They get you deeper in depression. Heck, absolutely no drugs! DON'T force yourself to to out on dates before you are ready. DON'Tconsider this a reflection on your ability to have a healthy partnership. It's the relationship that was broken, NOT YOU. Keep your self-esteem in tact. DO work through it. Write a journal. Cry. Talk to friends. Go to the gym. DO learn from the lesson. DO purge yourself of her stuff. A short version from a pro that I whole-heartedly agree (edited with my own).

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

How much does it bother you? Posted: 1/23/2009 3:19:17 PM
Doesn't bother me at all. Not that I like Heavey Metal. Just don't "share" it to people 300 yeards away. Please. Don't. I enjoy music so much I can't even work without it. Put on my headphone and I am in my own world. I was dumped by an online date who preferred a woman who shared his taste in classical. Hurt like a even we never met!

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

experienc of dating someone of a different nationality Posted: 1/23/2009 2:34:38 PM
To be born, raised and educated in a foreign land, the culture is ingrained. Being here for a long time helps him understand this mixed culture of ours. If you are interested enough in him, you need to ask him about his culture and study the history of his country. I travel quite a bit and am very tolerant of different cultures. It was delightful to meet people from many, many countries (most were outdoorish so were quite easy to please). I like the Canadians a lot! Once I dated a guy from Netherland who admired German way of life. He harped on and on of how inferior everything here was. He ruined a perfect day by opening his mouth. Finally, I asked politely when he planned to go back to Netherland. It's a person that makes a difference. Communication is utmost important so if you are unclear about something, discuss it. When in doubt - ask!

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

Chemistry then POOF ! Posted: 1/16/2009 5:30:02 PM
Glad to hear that. BTW: I am a bit confused. You said you met the guy here after couple of weeks you met this guy? Didn't you just sign up on 1/11/09 and today is 1/16/09?? Oh, well..that's not the point. The site's name is self-explanatory. Move on. My male friends tell me they'd say "I'll call" when they have no intention of doing so. They think it's kinder to exercise the Houdini's trick. Don't bother to ask for reasons. They aren't good at explaining (he has 1.5 minutes to answer during the commercial break). Stop questioning yourself what you may have done wrong, unless it was totally unforgivable. There'll be a guy out there for you who likes and respects you enough to work through the first huddle with you (real or perceived). That's the one you want to keep.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 162 (view)

Does anyone else here pay attention to the backgrounds of the profile pics? Posted: 1/16/2009 3:22:13 PM
The question reminds me of the picture on e-bay the was sent around awhile back. This guy took a picture of a dining set he wanted to sell. He forgot there was a mirror behind the dining set. Did not take a good look at it before he sent it out. The picture has his reflection in it. He was naked with belly hanging and camera over his face (thank goodness). Oops!

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Chivalry vs. Feminism Posted: 1/16/2009 11:08:12 AM
Read some replies but not too deeply so they wouldn't cloud my own. I am quite capable. I rock climb, hike 15-20 miles..blah blah. Yet, I don't refuse a helping hand when a man holds out his hand to pull me up. Doesn't make me feel helpless by accepting it nor less feminine by being strong and capable either. Courtesy is a must. I do hold out a door for a man if I happen to get there first or he has a handful of stuff. I hope chivalry never dies. Just don't say, "As a woman, you should...."

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

The Checklist.. Posted: 1/16/2009 10:35:47 AM
We all have a mental checklist. Thanks Chatte. You hit it on the head.. I look for little things that most people don't bother to hide. The way he talks to waiter/waitress, how way he drives (aggressive, bad mouthing or calm, cautious and considerate); the way he acts in an aggrevating or provoking situation (long line, unsatisfactory food). Uggh.. I so dislike people who spit (unless he's a runner and is running). If he constantly uses words like "always", "never", "ever", "must" - I probably run! I personally don't use foul language so I don't like to hear them. Oh, blurry pictures, not well-written, negative profiles also are somewhat a turn off. Can't you try a little harder? You see, the real red flag is simple. Say, a guy picks his teeth (or nose!) with his finger while having dinner with a gal. It means either someone told him but he didn't care or no one cares enough to tell him. Really don't know which scenario is worse (not caring to improve (something that can be and should be changed) or not having someone who cares enough to tell). No wonder I am still single.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

First impressions ? Posted: 1/15/2009 5:00:35 PM
Physically: A man who takes care of himself. Clean clothes, clean nails. Definitely NOT obese. IMO: Generally speaking, no one forces you to eat and no one can exercise for you. Mentally: A man who doesn't come out too strong; someone who appears to be comfortable with who he is. Oh, no roaming eyes! A single flower for the first date is definitely a nice touch.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 963 (view)

Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 1/15/2009 3:29:55 PM
What a woman needs: A man who adores her and makes her feel loved. A man with whom she can share her hopes, interests and dreams. A man who makes her laugh when she wants to cry. A man who is trustworthy, loving and caring. She needs to make sure these four men don't know about the other. Okay, kidding aside. The point is, no one can be everything for another person. So you pick the best of the lot (as a friend puts it "the least broken one"). It is wrong, however, to make commitment (by deeds or words), just to keep a guy around. Think of it as buying a HD TV. Doesn't it make sense to compare them side-by-side?

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 68 (view)

Body Shapers, Pushup Bras, Tummy Tammers - Lying or looking good? Posted: 1/15/2009 2:49:26 PM
This one is a fun forum. Women go through a lot to look good, and mostly for themselves; to feel good. For us to feel good, we look good (it's a cycle here). Why do we wear sexy, lacy undergarments even when we think no one would see them? I won't do that for a man, I can imagine his disappointment. Mascara and foundation are what I wear when I want to dress up. Eye shadows and blush on are for special occasions. I do color my hair, however. If they can't handle me now, then oh, well.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Gifts: Is it the thought that counts? Posted: 1/15/2009 2:31:42 PM
Women buy clothes for their men all the time; so go ahead, but don't get offended if she doesn't wear it as often as you may like it. I read somewhere, women look at men and start to redress them and men look at women and want to undress them. Figure that! I would question your friendship because she likes to show off while you are uncomfortable with that. Neither one of you can change.

Joined: 1/5/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Too picky = Too dangerous? Posted: 1/14/2009 6:11:19 PM
Having low self-esteem is deeper than just the beauty in the outside. Why do you think super models and celebrities continuously having endless cosmetic surgeries? Low self-esteem may have been instilled by others but must be cured by oneself! Low self-esteem is one red flag that makes me run fast and far. Jealousy, accusations, arguments follow the trait. Unless she has other shining qualities, nothing you can do to assure her, so run..sorry. kdwildflowers puts it very well.

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