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 Author Thread: I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 613 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:47:54 PM
When you really think about it, what does it really mean to be "independent" anyway? Everybody on this planet is dependent on others in some way.

Take a look at the shirt you're wearing and think of how many people on whom you are dependent for that shirt. The person who made it. The person who sold it to you at the store. The farmer who grew the cotton. The people who built the farming equipment to the farmer. The truckers who shipped all the materials around. And so on and so on. And that was just to put one shirt on your back.

Every aspect of your life from the food you eat to the bed you sleep on is the result of the efforts of millions of people.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath??
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:45:31 AM

Hitler was a sociopath

Actually, I could be wrong but I don't think Hitler was a sociopath. He was a paranoid, which is a very different disorder.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Regretfully didn't give him my number!!!! Now what??
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:42:02 PM
It happens. All you can do is chalk it up to experience.

I remember I was waiting in line at a clothing store one day. I don't remember why but I was in a pretty bad mood and just wanted to get in and out of the store and go home. A very beautiful woman in front of me started saying something to me and I politely nodded and looked away. It wasn't until hours later that I realized -- she was hitting on me! If I hadn't been so down in the dumps at the time I would likely have been quite receptive to it, too. She seemed quite nice. But, alas, it was not to be.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 69 (view)
 
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:34:04 PM
I think "not ready for a relationship" describes my ex to a tee. And, frankly, she said so herself when she broke up with me.

In her case, because of some things that happened to her in the past, I believe she has a very difficult time forming relationships with people, mainly, I believe, from a fear of getting hurt by them.

She and I had met online -- not even a dating site -- and she was the one who relentlessly pursued me for a month until I finally gave in. It was long-distance, so it was three weeks before we could meet in person. When we did, the sparks were flying right off the bat. I can tell you it was the best weekend I ever had.

But shortly after she returned home, things just seemed to cool down a little bit. The next time we met, she was basically a cold fish. I had attributed that to her being stressed out over a class project she was doing at an online college she was attending, but the day after we got back home, she sent me an e-mail that basically said she was taking a long time away from relationships.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath??
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:24:29 PM

A true sociopath is fairly easy to detect because you can sense the evil.

Actually, true sociopaths are very *difficult* to detect even for professionals trained to detect them. By definition, sociopaths are expert liars and can manipulate people very well into believing whatever story they spin. Even if they're backed into a corner they'll still try to spin their way out of it.

Basically, the definition of a sociopath is someone who lacks the ability to form an emotional bond. That's why they make great liars -- they have no emotional connection to the words they're saying so can lie without feeling so much as a twinge of shame about it.


These are the people that torture animals.

Actually, it's a myth that most sociopaths are violent. Most are very much law-abiding. Not that they feel any sense of guilt over breaking the law. They just don't want to go to jail.

Sociopaths usually end up in careers where they can get get ahead by taking advantage of others. Used car salesman, high-powered executives, etc.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 504 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:16:50 PM

LOL I had to go read my profile to see what I'd written. Thank God I didn't say I am independent. I think I only implied that I'm a b*tch.

Yeah, but you have a math tool as your screen name, so that makes you cool.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 503 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:15:56 PM

How can you be offended by something a complete stranger writes in their profile?
Why take it personally?

I don't think it's an issue of taking offense as it is deciding whether to send an e-mail. If I'm turned off by something a woman writes in her profile, I'm going to click over to the next one. I've read a lot of women's profiles where I thought they'd be a great person to get to know *until* I get about, oh, halfway, maybe two-thirds of the way through the profile and see something that makes me turn tail and run.

In the case of this thread, if I see a woman who prominently declares in her profile how independent she is or harps on the fact that she doesn't need a man, I'll say fine, and let her go be independent somewhere else.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 501 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:07:40 PM

Oh, I see, so you'd sooner find out in person that a person is independent, rather than read it in a profile?

Actually, I *do* see it very well in their profiles. The last woman I went on a date with is a very independent woman, indeed, and I could tell so before I ever even spoke a word to her. She never *had* to say so on her profile (different site, BTW) because her independence shone through like a ray of sunshine from her words.


pparently, it's a very good thing that those who proclaim themselves to be independent state it in a profile for all those men who figure that indepedence automatically means theyre a biotch - it weeds out those males who are afraid and feel emasculated by a female who has no interest in being a subordinate in a relationship, but has the intelligence and wherewithal to...wait for it....be an equal in a relationship OR live her life without "needing" a man but actually love having one in it because she wants a man in it.

You utterly missed the point of what I was saying. The point is that people who continually talk about how independent they are are usually anything but. People who are truly independent don't have to say it. Same can be said, as WiP mentioned, about a whole myriad of other traits.


Then, you have all those who don't state they are independent in a profile and probably have frostbite on their fingers as they type all the sweet things they think men want to hear and then the men get the opportunity to meet them and - surprise surprise - they're actually the biotches who are the furthest thing from being any kind of independent there is.

In my lifetime I don't think I will ever understand why people have such an either/or mentality about the world. Being extreme on one end is no less crazy than being extreme on the other. I don't like saccharine sweet profiles any more than I like profiles of women who can't stress enough just how much they don't need me.


the preconceived notions and minute, anal dissection of every little thing is likely why you find yourselves repetitively single.

The reason so many notions are preconceived is because experience has told me they're usually true.

Think about it -- how many people have you known in life who can't stop talking about how, oh, intelligent they are, then proceed to lock their keys in their car? The people in the world who truly are intelligent are the ones who quietly exude intelligence without having to draw attention to it. They don't need to go around saying they're smart any more than they need to say they have dark hair or are wearing Adidas shoes.


You're classifying independent women as being rigid

Again, read what is being said. I am not classifying independent women as rigid. I am classifying people who constantly talk about being independent as being anything but.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is the WWE High on Crack?
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:58:21 PM

Why can people tell you who the UFC champion is?

They can? I know of very few people who could answer that question.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 479 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:53:55 PM

I've mentioned many times that I don't announce this stuff in life or in profiles - I live my life that way and those who know me see it in my actions.

That's the point, though. People who truly *are* independent smply don't feel the need to say so. They just know it and it comes across to others. People who feel the need to talk incessantly about how independent they are really are just trying to mask some pretty deep-seated insecurities.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Meant to be alone
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:55:45 AM

I've always heard that "there is someone for everyone"..but then I think about MY love life..if that's what you can call it..I swear I'm seriously about to go to my local pet store to start my 50 cat collection..lol.

I'm starting to think the only difference between you and me is that I'm allergic to cats...
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
men and emotional maturity
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:53:29 AM
Dave Barry is a god.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/20/2009 7:51:24 AM

This is a question I've been wondering about for some time now. Would a woman be with a sweet guy who was responsible and not looking for a handout and would treat her with all respect, affection, love etc. but didn't have a thick wallet or would you be with a guy who had money to spare, but treated you like trash and disrespected you and abused you? I also ask this question because I've known many woman to be with an abusive guy even though he DIDN'T have money.....go figure.

These kinds of either/or questions are a bit ridiculous. It's a lot like the women who ask the men, would you rather be with a woman who was good-looking but had no personality or a woman who was unattractive but very sweet.

I'm not going to settle for someone who has less than what will make me happy, and I would expect any woman worth having would say the same about any man she might potentially be with.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/19/2009 10:28:24 PM
Well, if what you expect in a relationship is that, eventually, you both start chipping in equally, then I would think it's an important discussion to have. If she expects a relationship with a guy who will always pay for everything, then it's best you find out sooner than later.

For instance, if you want to make a movie date, you can call her up and say "I'll get the tickets and you can buy the food." If she balks at the suggestion, then it's clear she's not the woman for you.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 233 (view)
 
Rejection-men have been dealing with this a long time.
Posted: 11/19/2009 9:40:46 PM
Usually doesn't bother me too much unless I have something invested in it. I got a "you're a great guy but..." e-mails today from a woman I was starting to fall in love with. That one stings.

I suppose I'll get over it, but sometimes it's really hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 438 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/17/2009 5:30:48 PM

I think men are more likely to be less discriminating of who they START a relationship with

I think you may be onto something there. I have seen a few threads where men talk about how often they get rejected and occasionally some women will reply by saying something to the effect of "if you are asking that many women on dates I don't think I would go out with you, either."

I know I am not very choosy when it comes to first dates -- I'll give quite a lot of women a chance. I am extremely choosy about whom I will enter into a relationship with, however.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Chuck Norris
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:11:37 PM
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. He's not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of him.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 282 (view)
 
The Game and its effectiveness
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:51:14 AM

That's why women spend so much money and time making themselves look good, not to mention a lot of the beautifying is also painful, like high heels, skimpy clothes (freezing) and waxing (ouch) or dying your hair (chemicals stink and make you feel ill).

Face it, women spend all that time and money not for the men but for themselves. Men couldn't care less. I'd be just as likely to approach a woman who's at the gym wearing no makeup, hair in a ponytail, and has been sweating for the last hour as I would be to approach a woman at a nightclub.

In fact, I have a few women from my gym in mind as I type this. *drool*
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:47:46 AM

I'm not going to place a lot of credence on the opinion of someone with a mullet and little more than a high school education.

You make ad hominem statements like this and claim that *we're* the ones who are bashing *you*? Gimme a break. I'm done with this thread. You can go back to acting like a little child on your own. I'm starting to see why this guy doesn't even want to be friends with you.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 295 (view)
 
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:44:20 AM

Men (seem to) dislike intelligent and witty women.
Men/people (generally seem to) like me (as I like most people).
Therefore...
I'm dumb and dim witted.

Wow, that was a brilliant deduction. You must be very intelli---

Oh, wait... Now my head hurts.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Do matching horoscopes matter
Posted: 11/14/2009 11:23:05 PM


They've actually done pretty frequent studies on the correlation between persnality traits and zodiac signs. Every time, the correlation has been zero.

Your source please?

Took me less than five minutes on Google to come up with these sources. You could just as easily have looked them up yourself.

http://psychicinvestigator.com/demo/AstroSkc.htm
"Despite astrologers' claims, Carlson found those in the study could correctly match only one of every three natal charts with the proper personality profile - the very proportion predicted by chance. "

http://www.astrodivination.com/moa/ncgrberk.htm
Carlson, S. 1985. A double-blind test of astrology. Nature 318:419-425.
"[W]hen presented with three interpretations, 28 of the 83 test subjects selected their own natal interpretation as first choice. This falls far below the advising astrologers' expectations, and is exactly at the chance level (83 / 3 = 27.67)."

http://atheism.about.com/b/2006/04/20/time-twin-study-discredits-astrology.htm
Originally tracked as part of a different medical study, data on a group of 2,000 people born within minutes of each other demonstrates that claims about power of astrology are false.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 75 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:49:35 PM

bashing new posters who are coming here asking for helpful advice and support.

Advice that's actually helpful isn't always the advice you want to hear. People often fail to see the obvious because it's unpleasant to look at, then blame the messenger for showing them what they've been unable or unwilling to see.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:11:59 PM

Since people are making assumptions about me without knowing anything about my relationship history with this man

Which, I must remind you, is specifically what you were asking them to do. You just didn't like the fact that their assumptions weren't what you were hoping they would be.


Not everyone here has disagreed with me, btw.

No, but you seem to take any sort of disagreement as a personal attack.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/12/2009 9:09:40 PM

A) I HAVE moved on.

Your words belie you.


B) ... giving me a b.s. excuse about Facebook. That makes it MY business.

Non sequitur. According to your words, you tried to add him on FB and he denied the request. That doesn't make anything your business.


C) It is amazing how much hostility this thread has generated. The only reason I can think of is because the title of this post is provocative and has struck a nerve in a lot of posters who have probably done similar things and got caught - in all likelihood by someone who did a bit of snooping, then ratted them out.

You like making that assumption about people. It really does say a lot about you that you automatically assume that the only reason people might disagree with you is because they're hiding some sort of transgressions. Just doesn't even cross your mind that maybe the reason so many people are disagreeing with you is because you're wrong on this one.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Cinderella..But.wheres my prince
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:12:29 PM

In regards to me saying that I am an independent woman and don't need a man to validate me what wrong with that? I thought a guys would love someone confident

Yes, we love someone who's confident. Rarely, however, do confident people talk about how confident they are.

About a year ago, I had to give a building tour at my work to a group of junior college students. One kid in the group wouldn't shut up about how smart he was because, unlike the other students in the class, he had a bachelor's degree. Every other student just rolled their eyes every time he opened his mouth.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was on the clock, I wanted so badly to say, "if you're so smart, then why are you too stupid to realize how much you sound like an a$$hole?!"
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 237 (view)
 
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:05:10 PM

A friend of mine told me she read a book that said women should never ask men out, call men , show men they care in the beginning of the relationship or act in an aggressive fashion because it takes away the challenge for a man.

The book she is referring to is "The Rules." Tell her the only use for that book is kindling.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Engagement rings for men?
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:04:07 PM
If a guy wants to wear a ring before he's married, it's his choice. In the end, it's none of my business.

Personally, I don't like wearing jewelery. I am not even comfortable wearing wristwatches -- until I got my cell phone I had pocket watches. I could never wear a wedding ring, because I'd be as likely as not to lose it in the first few months of the marriage.

I wonder if this whole "men's engagement ring" thing, though, is being pushed by the jewelery industry. After all, engagement rings for women weren't common until the 1950's when de Beers started an advertising campaign to push the idea. Now the idea is so firmly embedded into people's heads that they think that it's some tradition that their great-great-grandparents participated in.

In the end, though, you just have to do what makes you happy. I don't want to wear a ring and I don't buy diamonds as long as de Beers has a stranglehold on the market. The woman who agrees to be my wife will have to be okay with that.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 401 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:58:34 PM
Personally, I have found that people who constantly feel the need to talk about some particular positive trait of theirs are really just trying to convince themselves that they actually possess that trait.

People who are truly independent don't need to say so. It's glaringly obvious to anyone who spends five minutes in their presence that they are independent.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:47:35 PM

I don't owe you any explanation ... what is your point in taking pot shots at me?

Because you seem to think you're owed an explanation.

Besides, my statement to which you replied wasn't even written to you. I was responding to divinity's post.


Could it be that I've hit a sore spot with you because you've done the same thing, i.e. keeping a secret profile from a woman you were involved with... hmmmm?

Nice try, but not even close. When I'm with a woman, I keep my PoF profile but make it very clear on my page that I'm not single and that I'm only here for the forums.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 278 (view)
 
Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/12/2009 4:08:49 PM

it is still just a useless piece of mineral(Just like gold, silver, platinum, zirconium or any other piece of jewelry)

Hey, now, gold is pretty darned useful. It's one of the most malleable, ductile, and least likely to oxidize metal there is!
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 277 (view)
 
Why some men never want marry?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:55:10 PM

It is all about attitude and material values these days... NOT for everyone, but for a good portion of men... There is no longer the value that once was placed on marriage, like it was how a family unit was built, and both partners depended on the other...

It was the ideal, and something that was expected in keeping the family name going on...

Now days men can get sex without promising anything, or BS a gal, and she is still willing to have sex, because these days it isn't considered the moral sin it used to be...

...

I just got married, ERRRRRR well I had a commitment ceremony, however neither of us are going to have kids, and todays marriages seem more like a great way for the government to keep up with what is going on in my personal life...

So, basically, YOU don't value marriage, either! :)

So why question the motives of men who also don't value marriage?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
She doesn't know about his other dating profile
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:51:32 PM

My opinion of some people thinking it's "creepy" of you to still check on him is that since you had trust issuses that ended the relatinship initially, perhaps it (and all of the rest) is just the process you need to confirm you did the right thing in ending it.

Why do you need to confirm anything? It's over. Whether it's the right thing is irrelevant.

Besides, if all you're looking for is reasons why you shouldn't be with someone, you're guaranteed to find several. None of us is perfect, and it's not hard to find a person's faults that would make you say, "yup, I'm glad I'm outta that relationsip!"

I dunno if I'd call what the OP is doing "creepy," but I would say that she is only harming herself by constantly armchair quarterbacking the situation. If she doesn't trust the guy, then she should simply cut off all contact with him. Then it hardly matters what his intentions are.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Wanting AND fearing intimacy; an internet syndrome?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:42:30 PM

Fear of commitment does exist in SOME people, but it is also a term overused today.

Agreed. I think a lot of people say that someone "doesn't want to commit" when the real answer is that they "don't want to commit *WITH YOU*"
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Wanting AND fearing intimacy; an internet syndrome?
Posted: 11/12/2009 3:40:10 PM
I honestly believe that this very thing is why my ex broke up with me. She was the one who initiated the relationship with me. Took her a month to break me down, but once she finally did, I was hooked. I jumped in with both feet and was ready for a nice, long-term relationship.

It was a long-distance relationship, but as soon as I said I'd be with her, she bought a ticket the next day and came to visit three weeks later. The first time we met, it was an instant click. I fell in love with her, and she spent the whole weekend telling me how she had been crazy about me for such a long time.

The second time we met was a month later and the passion was gone from her. I had assumed she was stressed out because of a school project she was working on, and she did have to spend a portion of the weekend working on it and submitting it. But it turned out the major reason she was feeling the way she was was because she knew she was going to dump me and felt bad about it because, as she said, I was everything she thought she wanted in a guy.

She does spend a lot of time on the internet and, to make a long story short, I think that, coupled with some things that happened to her in the past, have made her very fearful of intimacy. She's afraid of being hurt, so as soon as someone gets close to her, she closes in.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
kids today and yesterday
Posted: 11/12/2009 2:54:18 PM

How is this any different from what adults do?

Where do you think the kids learn it?

I think the major cause of the differences between children of today and yesteryear is the abundance of information that's out there. They know about things long before they're mature enough to understand what they know.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 268 (view)
 
The Game and its effectiveness
Posted: 11/12/2009 2:48:58 PM

Once you know the players game they are really transparent and easy to outplay.

Problem is, how do you distinguish between an actual "player" and someone who's simply trying to improve his chances of finding one special woman? I was in the PUA cimmunity for a long time and most of the guys in there eventually did leave because they had found the one woman with whom they wanted a committed relationship.

Seriously, if your approach to dating is so risk-averse that you're constantly on the lookout for a big long list of things to avoid, then maybe dating isn't for you. After all, a big part of dating is you have to be willing to take risks and, just maybe, get hurt once in a while.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 289 (view)
 
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:28:24 PM

I am a big girl, and I know that there are women prettier than me but what draws men (some men) to me is my personality...

I bet it is, indeed! I've only read one paragraph from you but I already can tell that you have a very positive outlook on life that can be a real man-magnet.

Frankly, I've found the world to be a great mirror. If all you see outside is negativity, then there's probably a lot of negativity inside of you. That's why I choose the women who have a great outlook on life. If they can see the beauty and wonder of the world, then that means they are beautiful, wonderful people inside, too.

If you think you're being rejected because you're intelligent and witty, you're wrong. If you think you're being rejected because you're overweight, you're wrong. If you think you're being rejected because of your height, you're wrong.

The reason you're being rejected is because you think you're being rejected.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 309 (view)
 
Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:22:39 PM

That really makes it sound like you really don't care which girl you end up with - so maybe it's a good thing they all said no. Personally I'd want a guy to want ME - not just any ol' female, after 13 other attempts.

You're making it sound like he asked 14 women to marry him.

I've asked for phone numbers of women I had only just met before. To say that doing so is tantamount to not caring who I end up with is patently ludicrous. I do care a great deal about who I end up with, but we're not talking about the end result here -- we're talking about a first date.

After all, how do I know if I want a woman or not unless I've actually gone on a date with her and spent that time together?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Impatient in meeting
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:15:08 PM

Getting to know someone before you go out is a good thing.

I rather thought the purpose of going out was to get to know someone...
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 587 (view)
 
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:50:00 PM

come on now John One doofus????


five days ago:

The forum scene is over for me.


Now we know what your word is worth.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Can someone explain y so many women on dating sites require events/things to be happy?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:45:10 PM

But what I find hard to understand is why I have to offer an event to get a woman to spend time with me?

Just as women who have certain physical features tend to attract more men than other women, men who are leaders tend to attract more women then men who are docile.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 168 (view)
 
COWARD ! - The Ignoring Game
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:34:23 PM

Please someone tell me why a man who is mature, intelligent and posesses developed social skills, will resort to "ignoring or blowing off" a woman when he no longer wants to see her ?

Yeah, as others have mentioned this is definitely not a trait that exists solely in the male realm. I've had a lot of women do this to me.

I think you answered your own question in the title of the thread, though -- such people are just cowards. They fear confrontation and therefore would rather ignore a problem and hope it goes away on its own. These are people who will, ultimately, never get very far in life because they will also lack the ability to confront conflict in the rest of their lives.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 579 (view)
 
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:28:22 PM

The last, what I thought was decent, guy that I have been talking t0 on POF for a month sent me a vulgar video the day before I was to meet him in person! So what is your opinion on that?

My opinion on that is that there are still lots of decent guys out there even though he is not to be counted among them. There are, after all, about three and a half billion guys in the world. One doofus doesn't count for much among such a large number.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 575 (view)
 
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:33:26 PM

If men really want to love women then try to understand what they go through and how they are treated. Show compassion instead of sarcastic, mean spiritied inconsiderate babble.

Yet you are blatantly refusing to give men the same consideration and understanding that you demand we give women.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 574 (view)
 
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:28:09 PM

I should have known going in that its all about bullies and sarcastic, know it alls trolling the forums looking for their next pray.

But did you know that you would be the one doing the bullying?


I will leave the angry bitter souls to you their plight to destroy anyone who dare come to the forums.

The only angry and bitter person I have seen in the last several pages of this thread is you.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 295 (view)
 
Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:28:02 PM

So, I come with the mind set that I will not be the one asking women out, they have to ask me out.

That's like playing football with the mentality that you'll only score a touchdown when the ball automatically rolls into the end zone.

Know how many interceptions Joe Montana threw in his career? Know how many times Babe Ruth struck out? Know how many shots Kobe Bryant has missed in his career? How many times Wayne Rooney has completely missed the goal with a shot?

In the end, all those failures don't matter. What matters is how you respond to failure. If you just give up because you claim it isn't worth it, I feel no sympathy. You just have to keep climbing over that wall. Or, as Randy Pausch quipped, the brick walls are there to keep the people out who don't want it bad enough.

I have no sympathy for those who give up because of a few -- or a few thousand -- failures.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Never kissed a girl
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:40:23 PM


You'll disappoint her and BAM there goes half your confidence.

That's your assumption--if both people go into it knowing what's likely to happen, they can work together to make sex more enjoyable--all it takes is a little patience and understanding from both and a willingness to learn on the part of the person with less experience.

That's what happened to me with my last girlfriend. I was 34 and she knew I was a virgin, but she was very patient and reassuring. It didn't take long before we were both having a grand ol' time!
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
What do you say in a message to get guys to message you back?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:35:09 PM

what is up with this??

Your profile says.. "I AM TAKEN"

Well, she did create this thread in May and you're viewing her profile in October. Maybe she found someone in the intervening months?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 85 (view)
 
registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:00:12 PM

For predators, offending is not a one time thing.

But the topic at hand isn't just "predators," it's "registered sex offenders." As many here have mentioned, not all people who are forced to register are true predators. The system was well-intentioned but it encompasses far too many minor offenses, many of which have already been addressed in this thread.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 497 (view)
 
Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:51:44 PM

Guess when you are fuzzy you ask these types of questions LOL

I only get fuzzy when I'm left on the kitchen counter for too long.
 
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