Sobriety, dating in recovery.... chat & forums.

online dating service

REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

Posted In Forum:

Home

login

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Sobriety, dating in recovery....

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Sobriety, dating in recovery.... Posted: 1/1/2009 10:45:27 PM
OP- Good for you. I wish you the very best. I've met some long- recovered addicts who have some brilliant gifts to share. (humility, perspective, humour, wisdom to name a few) My concerns would be around building/seeking new intimacy when you are in a bit of a fragile state. If you connect with the right people, you may find good, healthy supports and an environment which will help you to maintain the sobriety you are working for. However... reading the forums might give you a clue that there are more than a few tiddleywinks out here who aren't exactly healthy relationship role models. That said- it is your world and your life to live. If you are playing honestly then things should work out. Good luck to you.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Friends First??? I beg your pardon……. Posted: 5/26/2008 10:14:18 PM
Sanchezzz... I Love your last post. You make me laugh! I am just now stepping back and realizing how things seem to have changed so much in so little time, in regards to relationships. How did we get to a place where people who don't necessarily want to commit to sleeping with a virtual stranger after a brief and enjoyable web-dialogue seem to be defending this stance. Didn't dating used to be about getting to know someone, and then proceeding according to a good, old fashioned Base 1, 2 and 3 system! :) Meanwhile, the couple got to know each other in an assortment of circumstances (through friends, family, general hanging-out exposure and fun events). Often I have encountered people here who seem to move MUCH faster- dating or activity partner can mean just sex to many... I felt naive when I realized what 'Activity' meant to so many...! How I personally interpret "friends first": A sort of clarification that I would be keen to meet you, see if there is attraction and a lack of creepy vibes, and THEN maybe take some more time to decide if further intimacy is possibly in order. It is a bit of a shift for me, but I expect I will be pleased with the change in my experiences, that way.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

HELP Me get my Ex Back! Posted: 5/24/2008 11:58:14 AM
I agree with the point about you still fishing when you profess such 'devotion'. Aside from this thread, there is no indication in your profile that you are in love and have plans to marry. Good luck with the Thailand thing... moreso, though, I am glad to hear that she appears to be moving on, and I hope she learns to become a better 'picker', so she doesn't end up being treated rudely too often. I kind of hope this relationship is done and that you have your fun and grow up a little (without damaging anyone else en route) and maybe figure out why when you felt hurt, your place to go was to try to make her hurt too. Does that really work?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 60 (view)

Would you? Posted: 8/15/2006 12:15:41 AM
YAY! good on you! safe trip- SA is interesting- I kicked myself for not making it to Capetown... Happy to hear of your happiness another point for those adventurous souls!

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Driving an insight to a person Posted: 8/6/2006 12:35:24 AM
I sing. Enthusiastically. And VERY well-(no complaints yet) to any song i have playing which is good- dionne warwick (is that her name?), Nine Inch Nails, or Anna Nallick? Whatever's on that hits me. I have seen other people in other cars notice and chuckle. I go faster than the speed limit unless it is unsafe, get irritated with jaywalkers who think they (and thier toddlers!) are invincible against cars?! and try to make sure I am not the cause of any accidents or frustrations. Much like the rest of my life, now that i think on it...?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Family is banned from buffet for not cleaning their plates Posted: 5/8/2006 9:30:03 AM
Was this an Indian or Chinese restaurant? what does that matter? the thread is not about Asian resteranteurs/servers with bad attitudes, it is about a family which was banned from a Buffet joint.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

refused to have sex Posted: 5/6/2006 11:32:29 AM
then why did you have to give the thread an interesting name which leads me here to a private conversation? :P at least let us know what you are talking about? please? (curiouser and curiouser)

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

online dating Posted: 4/26/2006 12:33:38 AM
I kind of like the aspect of online dating which involves encountering someone you would never have imagined approaching or being approached by in a bar! I think this different medium is an ideal opportunity to broaden social scopes... Plus: looking at it from the another perspective, how far would ANY of this go if we preceded each online contact with the mentality that we might be the (undesireable) person the OP is referring to? I understand his point but think it seems like negative thinking. Have a good day

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

Would you? Posted: 4/18/2006 8:08:49 PM
Would you feel safe travelling there alone, and would you be reliant on him for anything? If you don't have to worry about that, then it sounds like it might be fun.... but then... i live in a small community where 14 year olds often hitch-hike... and i occasionally pick up hitch-hikers and have done it myself! :P I reckon I am not working from the same security-first world-view that some others appear to be? I would worry about him perhaps feeling a sense of entitlement after picking up a big tab for a fun holiday-- but that kind of thing can be sorted out if you know how to take care of yourself and watch for trouble. Love the idea of giving your dad a copy of his license! That is clever.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

right/curteous thing to do? Posted: 4/18/2006 6:32:35 PM
Thanks BarnBabe :) me too!

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

right/curteous thing to do? Posted: 4/18/2006 6:26:15 PM
Ok- Thanks everyone for thier input: it is validating to hear that i was not simply being quick to judge. It is more than a month since this occurred and so time has given me some perspective and I again realize I can do what i need to do and that there is no need to make excuses to anyone. Good lesson. Again :P Also- Thanks for replying, Ember- Would like to hear more about your experience with that: now what did she do initially and how did you figure it out? What would you have seen happen differently (not including an interest blooming) And While I don't want to beat this point up- I want to clarify again- I thought this man had very worthwhile friendship potential, before the second meeting. Up to that point- the only problem was I found his cologne overpowering and I was not attracted and we had an awkward goodbye- no big deal- just not Appealing to me. I wanted to get to know him more as a person and friend but then that second meeting revealed discomfort which outweighed that desire by a large chunk. It could have been the other way--- he might have just been nervous and overbearing as a result? Strike two proved that not the case, and I am glad I walked. I wanted to keep it as an adult interaction- with dialogue and whatnot. I am sad that it ended up being an 'explain my position over and over' and then 'ignore' and then finally 'block and delete' scenario. Not a possibility with this person, and while i understand that- and am actually much happier now that he is deleted... i find it sad that internet relationships - or even relationships in general... can seem so disposable? Does anyone understand that? (that sentiment is not just connected to this scenario- but this scenario seems to reflect it in a kind of extreme way?) Anyways... Just thinking out loud. maybe i am hijacking my own thread? have a good day, all. I Enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

right/curteous thing to do? Posted: 4/18/2006 4:57:00 PM
'Next time' refers not to him. just creating a new general guideline... I am blocking him now. And to clarify- I gave him some credit by having a second meeting as friends. (clearly indicated) I felt that he had recieved my message about that loud and clearly, and figured he was able to take care of himself. kind person, clever, professional, independent: a lot of qualities I admire, but just no connection and he just seemed to be slow to realize it wasn't mutual... So I, as I said- gave him the benefit of the doubt and that is when things felt uncomfortable. Doesn't this ever happen to other people?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

right/curteous thing to do? Posted: 4/18/2006 3:45:47 PM
Good point, puppyluv. I was in town anyways to see friends- they were my First priority, which he knew. Next time I will communicate what i need to on the phone and gauge how receptive he is at that point. I might have saved us both some confusion/frustration.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

right/curteous thing to do? Posted: 4/18/2006 3:21:02 PM
Some months ago I met a guy online with whom I chatted, then spoke on the phone, which led to a meeting where he travelled (2.5 hours) to see me. He stayed in a B&B (as agreed previously) and we hung out for the weekend. Chemistry or Attraction or whatever you want to call it was not there on my part- I can find petty reasons to back it up but ultimately it doesn't matter why- I simply just cannot imagine hanging out cuddling with this man. So I play it quiet and let him know I am not on fire but a friendship with him would be desirable. I explain that to him as best as I can --I was kind but I made the point clear over and over that pressure for more contact would make me uncomfortable - mostly in response to his-- "when are you going to come see me" requestS. (plural) So the weekend ends in a hug and a goodbye which lasted much longer than I was comfortable with- not that it was creepy or sexual- just a little clingy for me- particularly since I feel like I am sending out every 'Cool It Buddy' vibe possible. Between then and the next meeting we chat occasionally but I feel like conversation is stilted and I spend what feels like a lot of energy defining my boundaries and being clear that this is a Friendship. Next meeting: I am in his town and so he picks me up- Still no fireworks- and takes me to dinner and a drive... now it seems that he is using the word friendship for something more close that i can imagine right now--- ie- he asks me wouldnt it be nice to do a motorcycle trip around the world together? I explain gently that that is not where i see this heading and he backpeddles saying that he is just 'kidding'. but He continues to ask for a 'when will i see you next' to which i restate- I do not know and you continuing to ask is bothering me. So: next time we chat he tells me how he drives by the place we stopped to talk (NOTHING MORE HAPPENED) and how he thinks if it as Independently's place. Jokingly with friends I am saying that maybe that is where he wishes to hide the body after the next time we hang out... but seriously, I am a little... disturbed by this? He seems to think he has met his soul mate and will try to behave as if he can deal with friendship until more comes along. I tried to be nice, but I trust my gut which says you are uncomfortable with this: back off. I don't want to penalize a perfectly nice man for being honest or sincere but I also don't want to clarify 'friends only' more than twice in a date! how do other women deal with this? Lately he sends me the occasional IM saying 'hi' and 'how is my friend doing'? More often than not- to my shame, I ignore him. Am one step from blocking and deleting him- I figure this is pretty disrespectful but have no other way to continue with a friendship here. Too bad since he is a nice person I think, who just doesnt get boundaries and maybe isnt terribly sensitive to other peoples' discomfort.- or maybe I was too gentle and just should have been brutally honest? Looking for thoughts on this. For the recond, I am seeing a man who I like OODLES and this man knows it. So it is sort of moot, but I want to know what I could have done perhaps differently? btw- be kind- I met him from here, and while i think he is gone from the site- My intent is to learn, not to be hurtful.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Shy guy staring...since last summer Posted: 4/18/2006 2:18:00 PM
This sounds very sweet. do you have any mutual acquaintances? maybe there is a way to set some sort of meeting up that way? ... another possibility is that you could just hand him a note which says 'hi there' or some very simple acknowledgement to let him know you won't karate chop him if he says hi, but still leaves the ball very much in his court. Good luck and enjoy the butterflies. Given the mysterious/odd nature of this courtship--- maybe it is best to keep it separate from your common place of work (to avoid potential yuckiness) but make friends aware of who he is and if you plan to do anything about it(for safety)?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

It just blows my mind and melts my face. Posted: 4/11/2006 10:12:07 PM
What caused you to share this sudden stream of sunshine with us? Did you see something that suprised you? please elaborate so that we (i) can understand better. by the way- it is barren not baron :) Cheers

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Picking the Right Apples. Posted: 4/11/2006 10:06:43 PM
I think for some people... relationships are not so much about happiness and healthy lives as they are about comfort... ie- familiarity. there are traits and personalities I am familiar with and I feel comfortable with interacting with them more than some others- On the other hand there are other people who have traits that attract us sexually, and that can be so subtle and based on such complicated lessons we learned as kids... that it becomes almost innate-- again-- nothing to do with healthy or happy- just a Pull you feel. Problem is for some people, these traits are inherent in people who are bullies or controlling or whatever... Just like the Initial teacher might have been...Not neccessarily healthy, or happy-making, but compelling. How to fix it? I dunno- my friend was told by her cousellor once that if my friend sees a guy from across the room (keep in mind her previous pattern of bad relationships were guiding this advise) and she felt that instant animal chemistry--- she should back away fast--- history was telling her that this chemistry was leading her towards not good childhood lessons, and the pattern would repeat unless she made a choice based on intellect and judgement as well as chemistry. I thought that sounded smart. easy? No... but smart :P my thoughts (mostly recycled or plagerised) have a good day

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

I figured out why I'm still single! Posted: 3/22/2006 9:25:25 PM
Where did you read stress into this funny post, Carn?? LOL :P Thanks for the laugh, WW... i wonder what the female equivilent would read as? Love the Onion!

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Am I the only one who always goes straight to the bookshelf when over for the first time? Posted: 3/22/2006 10:46:31 AM
random sampling from my shelf: jewellery making, Brian Froud picture book, Contraceptive technology, Shopaholic, african folklore, nursing texts, salman rushdie (still unfinished) Three black skirts :) They are dusty and some are more loved than others.... I like to see lots of books on people's shelves- it gives the impression of thoughtfulness, doesnt it... either that or someone who is ok living inside thier head for hours in a row? Do people actually much into about what is actually on those shelves, though? I get most of my books from odd spots: thrift stores, garage sales, sale racks? and on the other hand, my friend is a pretty voracious reader... but everything comes from the library. The kept books are terrific, but a pretty narrow slice of who she is :)

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 79 (view)

Do women really want to hear the truth?!?!?! Posted: 3/22/2006 1:03:13 AM
Sooooooo ANYhoooo! Back to the original issue: What problem does she have? have you tried to discuss this with her? what does she have to say? The solution may lie therein? (but Do share with us... I am curious)

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Taking a risk in the name of love or outright NUTS? Posted: 3/21/2006 6:22:05 PM
I would be worried too. What kind of things can you do to help ensure she stays safe?--- (brainstorming here) like having a list or itinerary for her and some information about how to contact this man, 'just in case' I have done this with friends--- given them email, full name and contact info, etc so that were I to go missing, they would have some idea of how to start looking :) Sounds sinister but I felt better and more comfortable proceding with the meeting knowing that I had some kind of a safety net. Never needed it (touch wood) but my parents and friends appreciate it, I think.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

Does a kiss have significance on a first date? Posted: 3/21/2006 6:02:01 PM
O-T-B, in post 19 you hit a nice point... Doesn't acknowledge intent or interest beyond the date itself, but Lovely, anyhow. That assertiveness is attractive and if the decision is wobbling a little at the end of the date (am I interested in friends or more?) This will help that along. That said, I won't kiss, or allow a kiss if I see no potential. Kissing IS intimate and for me, meaningful and unless I intend to let you into my world as a fixture, then I don't wish you to put your tongue into me, Thanks, but no thanks :) On the funny side, on page one, Bike man referred to one strange kiss which her tongue was like an 'earthworm in his mouth'? wow. was that pleasant or not? I would assume not... but am curious anyhow

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Women and sleazy photos Vs finding a gentleman Posted: 3/21/2006 5:25:07 PM
I don't know whose profile it was, but when I was thinking about joining POF I ran across one man's profile which said something like: 'if you have a revealing photo of your breasts, then I am going to assume that is the best thing you have to offer' That struck me and I kept that in mind when I designed my profile. Yeah, like any other person, Occasionally perverts message me with interesting suggestions of what I might do with my spare time, I have mostly met gentlemen, here. That said... I wanted to put up some better bodyshots, but couldn't find someone who would let me use thiers.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 70 (view)

auras and relationships. Posted: 3/20/2006 7:54:29 PM
What about pheromones...? not just a sexual thing... I wonder how much of the energy is chemical? It is so inexplicable at times, that connection! I actually put a lot of stock in when i feel good or bad vibes: at work it does good things and keeps me safe, i think.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

Best place to live in BC? Posted: 3/20/2006 9:07:28 AM
I like Salt Spring Island... since it is gorgeous and rural. land is costly- rent follows, and the people are pretty... odd, sometimes. ('Island folk' and all that--- hey, wait- that would mean me too?!) but it is interesting and I like the ocean and forest here. No cat-predators, too, so the little one is safe. And the deer are small? And the roads are twisty and the cops know me (in a good way). I really like living here.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Racist partner Posted: 3/19/2006 6:11:29 PM
What happens if you become friends with someone who is a different color? His beliefs will prolly render that pretty challenging? Does that matter to you? I would separate myself. I don't date or hang out with homophobes or people who show racist tendencies- Why would I put so much of my love and support into someone who holds such closeminded views?- different views is one thing: hatred and predjudice is another. Does he Know what he is putting his faith into???? have you seen 'american history x'? interesting show.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

i you really love someone how to you get them to see that Posted: 3/17/2006 9:01:08 PM
So, I am curious. you love her... how many profiles did you have to delete once you decided you wanted to apologize (AFTER the first oops)? and Did you know you were being chatted with by her friends, at the time? Why is your picture still up? Why does she still love you? Bottom line, were you looking for action or not?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 83 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/15/2006 3:17:37 PM
RV? you sound to me like you have more... shall we say... personal experience underlying your posts than you speak to... perhaps you would be interested in sharing what kind of personal experience has led to you feel so strongly that women are recieving such special and predudicial treatment? In other words :) where'd you get Your chip?? I would certainly have an easier time understanding your points if I was permitted a peek?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/13/2006 2:40:45 PM
Ooooh, RV.. I do not get the sense that you are Actually interested since you followed the request with a long string of ...hooey? However I will throw a couple thoughts out there. I believe that equality is an ideal- I believe that major corporations that generally appear to have more power than the average government are headed by men (won't address the racial issue here, but there is certainly room in another forum)... not, as Mol put it: housewives from the fifties who were well versed/trained in how to freshen up and put thier 'petty troubles' aside plenty of time before thier cog got home. To agree (in part) to the OP's article, I believe that we haven't got it right yet- there is perhaps something being lost in the family values but i think that perhaps feminism isn't to blame so much as a general loss of focus of what is valuable to communities. I suspect we need to reallign with a new approach? What do I know though? I would like to see women involved in discussions involving war, too. In communities where war is being waged, most often, women are not being officially involved- certainly not in a way which represents population- in either the 'should-we shouldn't we" decision- Nor the post-conflict resolution and rebuilding--- ie- where might the schools be built? I would like to see that improve. For myself? I want to be able to indicate my own opinion without having my gender interfere with the value of what I have to say. I want to see women who can find safe havens from violence (men too for that matter!-) I want the right to earn a living and make choices- Luckily I was born into a situation that permits me much freedom in this regard- So I would like to see other women (again- all people) have this freedom. I disagree with the current trend of 'boys suck' tshirts and whatnot and that sort of statement which currently seems 'cool' and I hope we soon are able to encourage a culture which recognizes the value in each other, rather than the abuse and violence I seem to catch whenever i watch the news. These are just snippets and I will probably have corrections to make later. :) whatever- I tried. I will prolly have more to say later... I usually do :) have a good day, all.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/13/2006 2:03:25 PM
So, yes Redviking, I am indeed a feminist. Please do tell me what that means to you. Who am I and what do I believe in? If you are curious at some point, feel free to ask. If you ask nicely then I may reply and maybe we can both learn something?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/13/2006 12:21:19 PM
When were you at my home and how did you miss being strung up, Mol?! I would cartainly have found uses for you, mwa ha ha Thanks for the biggest laugh this week. To Redviking: Do some research, please. Outdated and uninformed opinions can be rather unflattering to the speaker.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Mother induces abortion by shooting herself Posted: 3/2/2006 3:09:11 PM
I am not defending her actions. I am primarily commenting on the amount of energy is spent reading a bitty article then judging one person rather than trying to figure out how our society can be so messed up that this occurs. I agree where the bible says 'judge not lest ye be judged.' Judgement and stonethrowing brings us no closer to preventing something like this from occurring again. I did not initially realize that the babe was full term... makes the situation that much more mysterious, and horrendous, but does not change my postition very much. I am more interested in why and how this happened: how can we make things like this NEVER happen again? She is responsible for her actions, Of course! and sounds like she is being held accountable. I do hope she gets the help she needs to actually become healthy (mental health care is not a reward program for crazy actions, btw) but I think we are not vacuum sealed people living vacuum sealed lives- what can i do to help- to find a solution to this. If I do not consider my role, then i feel I am contributing to the problem.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

dirty ice, clean toilets Posted: 3/1/2006 10:14:51 PM
Girl, 12, proves toilet water cleaner than ice A Florida schoolgirl won top prize with a science project proving toilet water is cleaner than ice in fast food restaurants. Jasmine Roberts, 12, of New Tampa, tested her thoery in five local restaurants, reports Tampa Bay's 10 News. "My hypothesis was that the fast food restaurants’ ice would contain more bacteria that the fast food restaurants’ toilet water," she said. Jasmine says at each restaurant she flushed the toilet once, then used sterile gloves to gather samples. She also collected ice from soda fountains and asked for cups of ice at drive thru windows. She then tested the samples at a lab. Jasmine said: "I found that 70% of the time, the ice from the fast food restaurant's contain more bacteria than the fast food restaurant's toilet water." Her project won the science fair at Benito Middle School, and she hopes to win the top prize at a regional science and engineering fair. Wow. Uck. I want others thoughts on this

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Mother induces abortion by shooting herself Posted: 3/1/2006 6:30:43 PM
I for a society where this situation is even possible. Babe, woman, her family, the father of that babe. Sad 'tis.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Mother induces abortion by shooting herself Posted: 3/1/2006 6:24:36 PM
What makes ME sick is the number of people who have such little empathy for a person who obviously felt as if the best choice was to shoot themself?! (wtf?) Sick girl- yes. Desperate- yes. making 'good' choices?-not bloody likely. The people who could have been there to support her dropped that ball. The speculation about what a demon she is astonishes me- and it is based on minimal information. I would ask anyone here if they have ever made a stupid choice within difficult circumstances? (commonly called a mistake?) I would ask you to recall how much you needed care at that time... a bit of kindness and humanity (treating others like they are human--ie- fallable but lovable nonetheless?) goes a long way to making this world less horrible.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 169 (view)

He's amazing. His looks aren't. Posted: 2/28/2006 3:20:43 AM
Hi marie: good job turning the other cheek! you have remained calm and polite in a thread of some nasty (and totally uncalled for!) comments! Do whatever you feel is right: so far as i see it your age doesnt default you into some foolish and disrespectful category where stupidity is to be expected- despite what some ppl seem to think is all you might be capable of LOL- how odd! you are not behaving that way at all, in my opinion. - at least not here. All it means to me is that you have plenty of time to sort out what you want, what you need and where you are headed. So do whatever feels right. Thinking of it from his position: I wouldn't want anyone to sacrifice that sense of sexual attraction to be with me, Simply because they misguidedly thought it was the right thing to do or God Forbid- because some other people on a website said she/he was too unnatractive to do better?! Were I him I might enjoy hanging out with them(you) as a friend and wouldnt it be neat if something developed at some later point (this does happen, believe it or not- but it is a strange creature and won't simply come when beckoned). But I would want to know where I stood, so long as I was told in a caring way- as friends should talk to each other. As far as the gentleman who felt your religious affiliation should determine the chastity of your posts?--- I would like to redirect him to the sex and dating forums where I often see Catholics and other christian affiliates Discussing the merits of Blowjobs and kinky sexual behaviors. Your spent energy would be more appreciated/useful there, I am sure.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

Alot of women on POF are from the healthcare industry why is that ? Posted: 2/28/2006 2:43:36 AM
I would have to say the twisted sense of humour can sometimes contribute to the challenges mentioned above :) I am usually a caring and devoted individual who does not think twice before helping the urine-soaked patient to regain thier footing, and give them a hug if needed (of course I shower immediately after many shifts! and sometimes change outfits Mid-shift) but on the other end of the scale, I giggle at jokes such as: Q:Why did the nurse keep the bedpans in the fridge? A:Because keeping them in the freezer took too much skin off. I imagine that might be odd for some potential partners to understand. I hear nurses can be an odd bunch, simply put.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Funny song lyrics Posted: 2/25/2006 6:43:41 PM
OK- I found the John prine song... LMFAO. I love it! he has found a new fan in me :PI dunno who he is singing with but SO funny. thanks.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Women who left Verbal/Emotional Abusers... Posted: 2/25/2006 6:38:09 PM
It certainly does seem a little odd for a 19 year old person to be posting that she has teenage kids?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

Smelt Colon Posted: 2/25/2006 12:31:37 AM
I love this thread for 2 reasons: 'smelt colon' is just Damn funny, and it is really cool to hear about kindness and nice things ppl are doing out there. I felt all warm and fuzzy reading about how good people can be. I would prefer to keep a thread like this alive and allow the whining ones to float into cyber-nowhere, personally. My contribution: i worked an extra nightshift to help out a couple new employees. sucks to work shorthanded anyhow, but shorthanded AND inexperienced? ug. not Really a good deed though, cause I DID get paid ot. :P

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 183 (view)

What do you wear to bed? Posted: 2/24/2006 11:10:59 PM
I start with knickers and/or pyjamas (with the soft/silky side in), but i inevitably wake up with less on than i started... even when i am alone. cannot explain that. but i like it :P

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Alot of women on POF are from the healthcare industry why is that ? Posted: 2/24/2006 9:04:50 AM
I dont go through womens profiles often so I never noticed that, but wow, that is interesting. In answer to the OP: For me it is Shift work and a small town... I am up and awake during hours while the rest of the world appears to sleep (except there is ALWAYS someone awake Here in the pond!-) The up side is that i get plenty of days off... four on and 5 off. Anyways... the other part: small town. through work I know cops here and between them and my fellow coworkers' advice--- it would appear there are few/no single men in town who are respectable and generally desirable. No word of a lie--- the last two locals who have made a move were transient and issue-laden guys who recognized me from work (where i cared for them in a PLASTERED state and probably in a bit-o-trouble) and decided it was naturally time to make thier next move... how is That for setting the stage for a long and loving future together. Don't get me wrong. They may be VERY nice people: sweet in a codependent way... but not my bag. So here I sit :P Leafing through the multitudes of hot and interesting men who live SO close! ahhhhhh! Now I need to go to sleep at 9am on a friday because i just got home :P good day, all!

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Funny song lyrics Posted: 2/24/2006 8:31:36 AM
Okay.. I hafta hear the tune of this... I am searching for it now :P Thanks for all the contributions-- loving this.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Funny song lyrics Posted: 2/23/2006 6:20:43 PM
ding fries are done? i dont know that? are there other words?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Funny song lyrics Posted: 2/23/2006 4:47:20 AM
{/If You Wanna Be Happy Jimmy Soul If you wanna be happy For the rest of your life, Never make a pretty woman your wife, So from my personal point of view, Get an ugly girl to marry you. A pretty woman makes her husband look small And very often causes his downfall. As soon as he marries her Then she starts to do The things that will break his heart. But if you make an ugly woman your wife, You'll be happy for the rest of your life, An ugly woman cooks her meals on time, She'll always give you peace of mind. Don't let your friends say You have no taste, Go ahead and marry anyway, Though her face is ugly, Her eyes don't match, Take it from me she's a better catch. Say man. Hey baby. Saw your wife the other day. Yeah? Yeah, she's ugly. Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook. Yeah?. Okay.} Funny thing: I ALWAYS get this song stuck in my head... at work... gonna have to memorize the rest of the lyrics so I can complete the song. Anybody else know any funny songs?

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 56 (view)

Why are the women on POF scared? Posted: 2/23/2006 4:41:10 AM
I dont have a litter of kids, I don't think I smell (checking: sniff sniff)- and I am truthful about who I am-- (sometimes I think maybe too honest) But sometimes I meet people via the internet and I do not understand thier intentions or get a funny feeling about them. sometimes my instinct is simply snap judgement or irrational, but sometimes it is Bang On Bad Vibes... so I try to take extra time to guage which one it is. I appreciate guys who are willing to wait and see. as we talk and whatnot, I hope they figure I am worth it, and that i feel the same way. The game playing goes both ways... I don't want to waste my time either. That said- i tend to try to meet sooner rather than later- chemistry is Critical for me and I want that cleared up soon. Happy fishing, All

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

What was your WORST date.. Posted: 2/23/2006 4:06:03 AM
I have tears literally running down my face from 2 steps' date. Thank you SO much. I have not laughed this hard for awhile. I think i posted just so I could come back to it to recapture the giggles easily :P (giggling to self, muttering 'just big angry head'!! lol)

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

What was your WORST date.. Posted: 2/23/2006 3:55:39 AM
Darn, Remittance Man-- You had some terrible dates, but you tell a terrific tale :P Funny reading- sorry your suffering translates to delight for me. My tale is simple: met on Wrong side of town- he was 45min-1 hour late (meanwhile barfights were breaking in the buck-a-beer saloon)... and turns out he dropped a hit of acid about 30 minutes earlier. hm. no love That night.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

Women who left Verbal/Emotional Abusers... Posted: 2/23/2006 3:15:35 AM
I have to say that while the relationship was abusive,,, he is not a bad guy. he is genuine and caring and we are still really good friends (years later now that we have matured) The relationship was ugly and I am Uber-cautious about entering into anything like that again. I am what is called a slow burn anyways, and now i just go slower yet. I know some of my jeuvenile behaviors and will not get into something with someone who I want to do that with again. I dont know if i would have been different (in relationships now) if we had not been together, but i do know I learned through this that i am strong and lovable and have a purpose... I also learned humility--- the most willful woman can be trapped into and turned into something they Never imagined! I never imagined myself as a woman capable of living with abuse! sheesh! Why would anybody do something that stupid?! I get it somewhat now. not entirely, but yeah. I am glad it was just a minor example. My heart goes out to those who are still emerging or worse yet- unable to realize they can do better than that. a bleeding shame, in my opinion. Edit: I have to add that I am no angel: My behavior was at times abominable too. I am not proud of that period... neither is he. my heart goes to the man who spoke. best wishes to all.

Joined: 12/11/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

Shy About Sharing My Porn Posted: 2/22/2006 3:28:05 PM
Becky- I think PO is talking about simply not understanding how this could be sexy--- I don't hear insults intended in his posts.- for eg- I think he is trying to be playful with the 'go watch your fake rapes and bugger off' comment.. not rude. Even though I see the appeal (my own fantasies are twisted little creatures IMO) - were I an alien watching people I would probably completely baffled by the allure of 'fake rape' footage causing people to become aroused (esp considering what reality looks like!- in life it is a terrible thing-in fantasy it is Erotic?! WTF? but it can be for some so there we are) I don't think PO needs defending- I hold him in pretty high regard too. Just thought it might help soothe ruffled feathers.

Show ALL Forums