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 Author Thread: When looking for someone, is height important to you?
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 223 (view)
 
When looking for someone, is height important to you?
Posted: 10/31/2012 2:40:31 AM


I have a preference ( not requirement ) for taller men. However I wouldn't dismiss a shorter man that I liked because of his height.



Thank you.
Someone who actually understands the difference between a preference and a requirement, and leaves room for exceptions.


I agree. This is about as open-minded and reasonable an answer as anyone who is attracted to taller guys is likely to give on this matter. :-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 10/23/2012 6:24:14 AM
Protect her from sleazy, creepy guys. True you can be an inch taller and pull off the "she's with me move," but at 6'7" guys typically don't mess with me or my chick at all. I see them try to swoop in on other guy's gf's like on the dance floor, they occasionally try it on mine, but once they see she's with someone gigantic, turn tail and run. And if need be, if a guy's a real creeper, if I get up in his face and he's looking into my chest, it backs him off quickly.


Certainly, a guy of your size will offer the 'perception' of safety and protection and put off a lot of creeps without the need for getting physical (same principle as with bouncers), but push come to shove, it's a fair bet that many guys out there of various heights and builds are still going to be able to flatten you should it come to a fight (no disrespect to you, but the majority of the UFC and WBO fighters out there will be shorter than you - some significantly so!).


I don't think it has anything to do with political correctness, it's yours and most women's point of views. Most women want a man to be taller than them, it's a natural thing. But most women are short, like 5'5", it doesn't take much for a man to be taller than you.


Perhaps. I don't think there's a lot of evidence to support any 'natural' (biological) imperative driving this trend, society/the media simply reinforces it as the norm, even in a modern world driven by technology and innovation as opposed to physical size or brute strength - it simply remains the status quo...


Over a foot difference in height causes more problems than you'd ever think. A guy like DempseySR32 or BrianFromUSA usually have a better height for most women, the world is made for 5'7", it isn't made for 6'7"...


Yet, although women can be very careful to express their lower limit preference of height in a potential partner, very few of them stop to consider the complications of dating someone significantly taller than them.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 173 (view)
 
Shorter man Taller woman
Posted: 10/9/2012 5:58:58 PM
I don't tend to measure myself in terms of a single dimension (for example, height), I measure myself in all three dimensions. Well, and 'Mass' I suppose.

I am a sixteen stone guy, a heavyweight by all athletic accounts. When I am referred to as 'small' in comparison with 6'2" guys who weigh only 10 stone, I just laugh at the comparison.

My bones are thicker and more concentrated, my overall frame and muscles are generally bigger, so to me a taller, skinnier guy is 'smaller' than me even if his longer limbs allow him to stand over me - it's like a zebra standing over a lion.

Don't get me wrong, my 16 stone isn't all just flab, nor is it all hard-earned muscle in the gym, I'm simply built in a very compact and solid shape with thick bones and broad, powerful shoulders and limbs.

So, being regarded as 'cute' like a chihuahua by taller men or women seems similar to a 200kg tiger being regarded as 'cute' and 'harmless' simply because it doesn't stand as tall as a human - people who think in these simple terms probably deserve to be eaten by these animals. :-D

Don't get me wrong, the very 'biggest' guys out there do tend to be the 6'5", 150kg+ 'Viking' types, but these guys are hardly representative of most tall men.

A tall, average-build woman is still 3-dimensionally a 'smaller' woman in my eyes,
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Height, body size, and longevity: is smaller better for the human body?
Posted: 10/9/2012 5:31:52 PM
My take is that diet, then environment, dominates longevity, not height.


I happen to believe that the relatively recent significant increase in height in humans in western society has more to do with the artificial steroids and nutrients that are pumped into our food crops these days than anything else.

The fact that on average this modern western diet appears to increase the general level of obesity as well as height is no suprise.

I actually don't think height is that significant an evolutionary trait, as we've always been smaller and weaker than so many of our rival animals, the humans who evolved were the smart ones who stopped competing with the bigger, stronger apes and other animals directly and adapted and scavenged food in new ways. Let's face it, we didn't become the dominant species on the planet by overpowering the other animals directly and beating them at their own game - we just played a smarter game.

In a modern, overpopulated world, shorter people require less resources to live and take up less space, so a successful future probably leans toward a shorter and more economical race.

Taller and shorter folks seem more prone to exhibit their own set of health issues, so I wouldn't say one set is better off than the other. However, studies indicate that taller guys tend to be happier and more successful on average because they tend to have to work less hard to accomplish more - due to a natural favouritism shown from the general population.

So, at present shorter guys have to work that bit harder to earn the respect that seems to be freely given to taller guys.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 437 (view)
 
Short Men
Posted: 10/9/2012 3:29:15 AM
No one says its okay to discriminate against men because of their height. I'm sure tall women run into the same thing. People are rejected for any number of physical reasons, just the way it is for some.


https://twitter.com/heightismwatch

I don't know how many women out there in the world share the above viewpoints, but as long as their general perception of short men is fueled by this kind of juvenile nonsense, short guys will always be struggling to be taken seriously as a romantic interest, even if a lot of women would otherwise be very attracted to them.

Not sure if tall women have to deal with similar hostility.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 194 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 10/5/2012 1:02:37 AM
^
Yet, I'm sure it wouldn't bother either of you if it was the top of your head he was looking at. ;-)

The problem isn't the height difference. In fact, a height difference is a massive turn-on for most couples - just the other way around (guy taller, girl shorter).

A lot of it just comes down to the social programming we all have received since we were born. We are taught that tall man/short woman is the correct pairing, so when we go against the norm, some of us can feel awkward and self-conscious.

It was the same when society finally started to accept interracial dating or same-sex dating. It was awkward for a time and a lot of people considered it unnatural and wrong. Even now in our 'enlightened' modern age, a lot of people will still stare if they see two guys or women walking hand in hand down the street.

It's just a shame that it represents such a mental barrier for so many people. :-(
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 191 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 10/4/2012 2:57:22 AM
Interesting article!

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/844767/why-short-guys-rule
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 10/3/2012 1:46:22 AM
What is he wearing? Platforms from the 70s like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch? My thoughts on a man that would wear high heels (and there are some and they walk way better than I do btw) is go on with your bad self, GIRLFRIEND.


So, what of women who wear trousers/business suits/boots/jeans (or, heaven forbid, short hair!) These are traditionally men's clothes. Shouldn't all women be trussed up in corsets and dresses still? In this modern age, men are using anti-wrinkle creams, plucking their eyebrows, finely trimming their facial hair, waxing their bodies, getting manicures, etc. A lot of them put more effort into their grooming than a lot of women out there. It's not necessarily the direction I would go, but it's just a sign of the times. It's not to say any of these guys are somehow less than men, it's just something they want to do. Lifts are a cosmetic enhancement, same as heels - there really isn't that much difference. The big issue women have with lifts is that the guy is essentially using deception - at least men can plainly see if a woman is wearing heels. The reality is that men are prepared to accept that women almost universally enhance their appearance. We're braced for that reality-check in the morning. Of course, if a guy does it, he's an effeminate liar.


For the record, I have dated someone an inch shorter than me. He was the one that was insecure, not me. Maybe the individual needs to be comfortable with themselves before others can be.


True, but sometimes it's the other people who need to be comfortable with a man's height so he can be. It's a tough gig for a guy to remain secure and confident when so many people around them are literally looking down on them because of the length of their bones. Taller guys seem to command a natural respect and awe from most people simply because of their height - good for them. Shorter guys actually have to earn that respect if they can, not because they are universally inferior or unattractive than taller guys, but because they are simply regarded and treated that way by so many and for no logical or rational reason - always the underdog.


Also, why is it a crime that someone list their preferences on their profile? You can look at it that they are doing you a favor and weeded themselves out for you not the other way around. Why do you want someone that doesn't want you?


This is always going to be a polarising issue. People who think this is a reasonable and efficient way to weed out undesirables and attract suitable partners will always repulse those people who don't share that outlook - regardless of whether the people they repulse fit the description of their list of requirements or not.


Oh I know, cause then you would have nothing else to whine about and blame others for your "short"-comings.


Ah yes, you managed to slip a 'short' joke in there. Well done! :-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 218 (view)
 
WOMEN: What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/3/2012 1:02:32 AM

Women don't do short(er) guys. End of.


That is certainly true of some women, even quite a lot of women, but thankfully not all women. ;-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/30/2012 3:40:07 PM
guess am week minded then .. because i like men to be taller than me in my heels .. :)


If you absolutely won't consider dating any guys who aren't taller than you in heels, then I'd say you are letting one particular specific physical characteristic hold too much weight in what attracts you to guys. It is this 'blinkered' single-mindedness that I personally consider to be a weak quality in a person's (male or female) character. But then, that is only my own personal viewpoint. Plus I've never met you and don't know you, so far be it for me to try to completely sum you up on the basis of a single issue we don't agree on. ;-)

If you are open-minded and would at least 'consider' dating guys who don't meet the standard criteria you have established in your head, but ideally would far prefer guys who are taller than you whilst wearing heels, then I see that as a much healthier outlook.

There are certain physical/mental/situational elements in women that I consider less attractive/compatible, but that doesn't mean that I automatically assume that I couldn't possibly be attracted to 'any' women who possess those characteristics, even if I would ideally prefer to meet women without them.

Of course, many women on here do perfectly fine regardless of how stringent and specific a set of requirements they establish for dating. In these instances, I would simply state that ignorance can be bliss.

However, there are also many women who are only open to dating a specific kind of guy and are either still single because none of those particular guys would seem to be interested in them, or because the kind of guys they are attracted to always seem to be the kind of guy who treat them badly in some way. These women, more than anyone, are probably shooting themselves in the foot with their inflexibility.

I'm not saying for a second that this kind of limited thinking is only confined to women who want guys taller than them whilst wearing heels, but men and women who have any kind of specific requirement that blindly prejudices them from dating from an entire group of potential partners.

Quite often love is found in places we ourselves didn't have the imagination to consider. Remaining open-minded and flexible allows us to remain receptive to such possibilities - closing ourselves off from anyone other than the very specific ideal we have created in our head (including how many inches taller they must stand when a woman is wearing heels) just doesn't make any sense to me. I can't imagine there is a woman out there who can honestly say, hand on heart, that they know for a fact that they could not fall in love with 'any' guy who doesn't fit a specific criteria.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:31:49 AM

LukeT77, I get what you're saying. But if you find yourself attracted to someone who doesn't exactly match your personal preferences, then you're not living by them blindly and slavishly. You're keeping an open mind, which is exactly what you're advocating.


Yup, this is exactly the kind of dating practice that I would advocate.


Just because we get more specific in our profiles doesn't mean we're "all caught up" in our preferences. Rather, I think it gives readers a better idea of who we are, our likes and dislikes, etc. If someone wants to think I'm shallow and persnickety because of my profile, well, I've written it in the most kind and polite way I can, so there's nothing I can do about that. I COULD say those people are defensive and insecure for taking it so personally, but that's not being terribly objective on my part. I don't know them so how can I make that call?


When someone writes in black and white what they're looking for and even goes to the lengths of warning off those who don't match that criteria, then they are not keeping an open mind. Furthermore, they are pre-excluding any number of potentially suitable partners because of their own pre-conceived notions of who what comprises an acceptable partner.


What every single one of us does do on these sites, however, is look at PHOTOS. It's all visual, and no matter how much anyone tries to deny that, it's the photos that get us to look further at the profile. If there's not any kind of attraction to the photos, we're not likely to look further. Some people on here would call that shallow, when in reality it's part and parcel of the online dating process.


I agree that photos are probably the most significant factor in deciding whether to consider dating someone, because despite all their other statistics (height, age, income, location, etc), if there's no physical attraction in the first place, then all these other considerations are irrelevant.

It's amazing how attracted someone can be to someone else from their photos - until they read that person's height.

I'm not particularly bitter or insecure myself. I do ok with romance, and I'm in a wonderful relationship with a great gal. My problem isn't so much with my own hard luck, but with the misconception that there's anything at all wrong with shorter guys.

I've said before, women who simply prefer taller guys are welcome to that preference, but women who feel that they can't date a shorter guy because her heels will make her stand taller than him (heaven forbid!), these women are weak-minded in my view.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 214 (view)
 
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 9/30/2012 11:18:25 AM

Rules are retarded.


Totally agree!

Preferences are fine. Prerequisites are short-sighted.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/26/2012 9:28:17 AM

I have yet to meet anyone who's attracted to any and every type.


Absolutely right. Preferences are perfectly natural and we all have them. Though, equally I have yet to meet anyone who could honestly claim not to be attracted to 'anyone' who doesn't fit their usual preferences.

Following our established preferences can be helpful and save us time in online dating, but to blindly and slavishly live by them and let them prejudice us against those we might otherwise be attracted to is shortsighted and close-minded, not to mention counterproductive when dating.

Getting all caught up on the difference wearing heels would make to your respective heights just seems a bit shallow and persnickety to me.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/26/2012 2:25:04 AM
I do accept the view that a woman wearing heels is at least an obvious enhancement, whereas lifts are generally designed to be more discreet.

The only reason this deception is deemed necessary in our society is because whereas men (and society as a whole) are content to accept that a woman might not be as tall and leggy naturally as she looks in heels or have as full a cleavage without that wonderbra, he is happy to simply enjoy the appearance the heels give her and let her enjoy it, whereas (apparently on here at least) a woman would not be able to appreciate the fact that lifts could give a shorter guy a few inches of extra height so that she won't tower over him when she's wearing her heels (or so he remains slightly taller than her).

For a woman (and society as a whole), the man's ability to APPEAR taller isn't enough - he actually has to BE taller.

It would be interesting to ask the women out there if they would date a guy who had undergone leg lengthening surgery? True, this is an artificial enhancement, but for all intents and purposes his body has essentially been transformed to this 'natural' height even if he wasn't born that way (like when someone gets a nose-job, boob-job or tummy-tuck, etc), so it's not simply a temporary 'trick' like wearing heels - it's how he stands barefoot, all the time.

The point I'm making is, will those extra inches of leg length really magically transform this originally shorter guy into a better/more attractive man than he might have been had he not taken the surgery? Probably not, but it could be that all-important difference between him being desirable/acceptable to some of you as a date or not.

It's a bit like the Wizard of Oz. That guy was a brilliant inventor and did a great job as a leader, but in order to appear imposing and be respected by the people in his kingdom, he had to trick them into thinking he was something bigger and more impressive than he really was. Was he wrong for deceiving his people all that time, or were they wrong for putting so much stock into a quality that had no real bearing on his ability to successfully lead them?

Even in today's modern world, a person's height is considered a notable factor in leadership elections for US presidents and other world leadership positions. It's kinda scary that if you asked a lot of Americans out there if they'd prefer a short intelligent president or a tall dumb president, many of them would still probably go for option #2.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 201 (view)
 
How young is too young?
Posted: 9/25/2012 6:20:15 AM
^
Having kids is as much a lifestyle matter as an age-gap matter.

There are plenty of 17 year olds (and younger) out there with kids. There are also plenty of women out there in their late twenties without any kids.

This age gap might be unusual and unlikely to last long for various stage of life-related conflicts of interest, but I suppose as long as it isn't illegal then it's their choice to make. I wouldn't be suprised if it's just some kind of short-term rebound relationship for my sister's ex anyway - not really her/my concern anyway now that they are split.

It's just one of the most unusual age gaps I've known in a younger relationship (anything goes with the oldies!).
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/25/2012 2:15:26 AM
A woman who wears heels to alter her height/leg length, and then complains about a guy who wears lifts to do precisely the same thing is quite simply a hypocrite. Case closed.

I realise that society is generally far more accepting of women enhancing their complexion/figures with all manner of products than it is of men doing the same, but that doesn't alter the cold harsh reality that these are double-standards.

The woman you meet at the bar is rarely the same woman you wake up next to in bed in the morning. ;-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 199 (view)
 
How young is too young?
Posted: 9/25/2012 1:35:14 AM
My sister's ex-boyfriend (29 years old) recently broke up with her after a 7-year relationship and just got together with a 17 year old girl (my sister is 26) about 2.5 months after their breakup (though they may well have been together unofficially before that).

She is absolutely stunned that he's gone for such a young girl (barely legal!), especially since he's quite a mature guy for his age and you'd think he wouldn't be able to relate to someone so young as a partner. :-/
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 203 (view)
 
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 9/24/2012 2:51:26 AM

(However, we DO have a long history of fetish idolation for the very full, rounded, obese human female figure)

Riiight...lmao. Too funny!


Actually, she was correct. Try googling terms that concern women as depicted in Renaissance art.

The work of Peter Paul Rubens is a pretty good example.

The concept of what is considered to be beautiful and the physical ideal for men and women varies dramatically through the ages, and in different parts of the word. It's a bit like fashion, sometimes it's difficult to comprehend why some outdated fashions were ever in fashion - even if you yourself were happily conforming to them at the time.

Personally, I have the highest respect for those who remain true to their own individual preferences and taste in members of the opposite sex. I have less respect for those people who blindly conform to the influences and pressures of society and the media.

Women who are more concerned with outward appearance and how they look on a guy's arm out in public than being in touch with their own personal feelings for that guy are not being true to themselves (or that guy).

As a shorter guy, I encourage women to be true to their feelings and not feel pressured to date anyone they are not attracted to (even if that ultimately means that less women are available out these for men with my stature), but I would also hope they are choosing those taller guys because it is an attraction that truly comes from within, not just because they think a taller guy is a more prestigious 'prize' to parade out in public, or that a dating a shorter guy would be some kind of compromise on quality and/or would make them feel awkward out in public.

Taller doesn't automatically equal better, nor does unconventional automatically equal undesirable. These are just simple stereotypes and generalisations that many simple, closed-minded people blindly accept and conform to without question.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 183 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 9/4/2012 9:01:21 AM
Oh I'm sure you would be writing warnings on your own profile requesting women who don't submit to your ideal fantasy of what a woman should look and behave like pass you by, by jogging off elsewhere, in a completely different direction if you had the balls to do so...


And just what kind of balls do you think it actually requires for someone to post a warning like that on your profile on an anonymous dating site to a bunch of strangers who you don't want to hear from anyway? :-D

I don't agree with it because I think it represents a very simplistic and closed-minded way of thinking. I would be put off by such a message regardless of whether I met that criteria because in my view it presents a terrible impression of that person.

Maybe my own concept of attraction toward the opposite sex is unusual, but although I may indeed have preferences of my own (I was always rather enamoured with blondes myself), the idea of actually warning off ANY non-blondes (because I couldn't possibly be attracted to ANY of them!?) just seems crazy to me.

Crazy because:

(A) I may be blindly dismissing countless women who I might actually be attracted to as individuals, despite them not necessarily representing what I perceive my 'ideal' to be.

(B) I may not be everyone else's cup of tea either, so by alienating a vast proportion of eligible women out there on the strength of a single physical characteristic, I might be sabotaging my own dating prospects.

I'm personally very happy in a long-term relationship now (with a non-blonde). ;-)


i feel no shame what so ever for my personal preferences, they are MY preferences, and it is REALLY no different to a non smoking lady having on her profile, that she does not wish to be contacted by a smoker, i respect that, i`ve been single for some 5 years now, but i wont change or lower my criteria simply in order to finally share a womans bed after so long, i`ve waited this long, another 5 years wont kill me :O)


It's true, we all have preferences and we're entitled to have them. If anything, a preference/requirement for someone who lives a compatible lifestyle probably makes a bit more sense than a preference for a particular physical quality.

But then smokers can quit, non-smokers can develop health problems or start smoking...

I just think that by offering people the ability to find their own partner on a dating site (as opposed to letting people just encounter each other randomly and become attracted to each other naturally), it's forcing us to try to quantify something that is essentially intangible.

We develop a general sense of what we think we're attracted to - a template of characteristics. But attraction is reactive and specific (we meet individuals and either fancy them or not, for many different reasons) and extremely hard to accurately predict. (hence the number of failed first dates we've all been on!)

I guess online dating is fundamentally a flawed process, but it's all we have. Can anyone be blamed for adhering to a flawed picker?
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 243 (view)
 
horror movies = red flag?
Posted: 9/3/2012 1:39:30 AM

Outlet for what exactly?


http://www.writersstore.com/understanding-your-own-fear-for-fun-and-profit/
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 175 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 8/18/2012 6:50:57 AM
I just hate it when short men blame it on their height for women not wanting to date them.


I'm sure this happens a lot, but a lot of the time women will go to the lengths of actually writing warnings on their profiles to reject short guys in advance - you can't mistake that for anything else.

Also, women will actually tell a guy during or after a date that they're just not tall enough for them, I've only had this once or twice myself (with taller women), but I hear about it all the time.

Of course, it's a woman's right to do that.

http://twitter.com/heightismwatch

Feel the love. ;-P
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Which is worse, being dumped or doing the dumping?
Posted: 8/15/2012 8:51:21 AM
If you dump someone, it is usually because you are no longer happy or content in a relationship with them (and/or may already have a new person in mind to get involved with), so whilst the act of breaking up with them might be painful and unpleaseant - at least you've had an opportunity to mull things over and take what you consider to be the right action.

Someone who is being dumped may be completely oblivious to the problems in their relationship and their world and everything they perceived about the relationship will be turned upside-down.

Even if both partners see the relationship failing and one of them takes the bull by the horns and breaks up, there will be a reason why the other partner didn't break up first - either because they felt the relationship was salvageable, or because they didn't feel willing or able to go through the pain of ending it.

Either way, I think the dumpee always suffers more (and probably feels betrayed by the dumper).

Of course, there's no hard and fast rule about which partner recovers and moves on first (unless the dumper is breaking up to facilitate another relationship).
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 161 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 8/14/2012 7:52:09 AM
evolution favours height

Evolution favours physical traits most suitable for survival in the environment at hand. Those traits tend to 'evolve' as our survival requirements change (admittedly, height has been an important evolutionary factor in our primative history).

Today, we live in a modern world where our survival is not dependant on our height. If anything there are more short men on this Earth right now than tall men. I believe the 'global' average height for men today is still only about 5'7".

There are a lot of anthropologists out there who suggest that the general increases in human height over the last few hundred years has been too rapid to be attributed to evolution (which works far slower), and is more likely to be attributed to our change in diet and medicine.

The average height is far higher in western countries, but then we eat a lot more meat (more recently packed with steroids and growth hormones), so perhaps this is playing a significant part in our accelerated growth pattern.

There are many cultures in other regions of the world where male height isn't considered especially desirable. Even in the west it isn't 'universally' desirable.

Personally, I think a lot of this preference for male height in western culture probably boils down to cultural and psychological influences of the media, as opposed to entirely genetic or evolutionary. If we are told from an early age that taller is better and presented with tall male role-models and objects of desire (or lots of slim, tanned women with fake boobs), then it will affect our values and preferences.

Remember, pale and chubby men (wearing tights and a wig!) were considered most attractive and fashionable not so long ago! ;-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 159 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 8/14/2012 2:55:10 AM
Blame it on darwinism? Natural selection? Survival of the fittest? Believe it or not some of our actions do have a scientific reason. Just like shoe shopping :))))))


As I understand them, the evolutionary principles of Darwin are actually based more on one's ability to adapt to one's environment and thrive in it, also on one's ability to reproduce.

In the modern world, we control our own environment to a large extent, so the 'fittest' are in one respect those with the greatest financial resources and authority who are making all the decisions that govern our civilisation (admittedly, studies show that many of these folks are tall, but then many are short too - few of them are likely to appear in any Calvin Klein ads of course!).

The most reproductive people (aka those with the most free time and financial support for having children) would appear to be those dregs of society you see on the Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle shows (not particularly suitable for Calvin Klein ads either really!), who are all multiplying like rabbits and living off their child support allowance.

If anything, in an overpopulated world with limited space and increasingly scarce drinkable water, Mother Nature would do well to favour shorter people who require less food, space and other resources.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 152 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:49:39 AM
^^^
Same here, most of the women I've dated have been about my height or taller without heels (and I never had a problem with any of them wearing heels!).

No doubt, there are plenty of short (and tall) guys who would be uncomfortable with this - but there's no reason to assume it's going to be an issue for all guys.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 261 (view)
 
***MMA, UFC, WEC, and REAL FIGHTING***
Posted: 8/7/2012 1:34:54 AM
@Boxerpuncher

Actually, I was (apparently unsuccessfully) trying to agree that MMA fighters are unable to match boxers in their own specialist field.

There will always be the element of 'Punchers Luck' though...
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 256 (view)
 
***MMA, UFC, WEC, and REAL FIGHTING***
Posted: 8/6/2012 4:25:17 PM
I have to be honest, I've been impressed with the ability of some of the current UFC champions (JDS, Anderson Silva) to stuff takedowns and keep the fight standing against wrestlers lately and beat them with striking.

The idea that a specialist boxer with no MMA training could be as effective at defending those takedowns is ridiculous though.

A boxer gets 'one' shot at knocking out a wrestler before he finds himself on his back, neutralised, and in a world of hurt.

I do agree that there are few MMA champions out there who could hold much hope of beating a Boxing specialist at his own game.

It's all horses for courses in the end.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
What are your plans when the Olympics come to London this summer?
Posted: 8/6/2012 1:27:49 AM
I went and saw a couple of beach volleyball games on Saturday with my girlfriend at Horseguard's Parade. It was pretty busy in town, but not as impossible to navigate through as I had feared.

Once in the Olympic compound, everything worked like clockwork. The officials processed us very efficiently and we were ready in our seats before we knew it. The instructions on the tickets advised us to arrive 90 minutes early, but I guess the event we went to wasn't a 'key' one, so we weren't swamped in the crowds.

All in all a great experience, though I wouldn't want to be living in the middle of it all during the working week!! :-/

It's been bad enough (though tolerable) dealing with the minor disruptions in Surrey caused by the torch carrying and the cycling events.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 92 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:25:28 AM
And another thing about tall men is that most women want them to be the father of their children because they like the idea of having physically perfect children for some strange reason


Because mating with tall guys guarantees you physically perfect kids right? ;-)

It's no wonder so many women out there are fixed on hooking up with taller guys if they all buy into this nonsense! :-D

I could kinda appreciate the 'genetic' argument to some degree, that at a primative level there was once some evolutionary merit for guys to be taller (so it's not a matter of choice for females to go for taller guys, more of a 'hard-coded' survival thing), but we now live in a modern world where it is estimated that 75% of Americans have flawed vision and require corrective equipment (glasses or contact lenses) to see properly. Well, I could imagine a physical quality like decent eyesight being of just as much practical use when surviving out in the wilderness as height, so why aren't women genetically attracted to guys with perfect vision too?

Personally, I just think it's all socio-psychological. Tall has always been fashionable and viewed favourably, going way back before the modern world to when it actually mattered, and has remained a self-perpetuating social trend ever since.

Ginger-haired folks have to put up with the same kind of social stigma as short men for some reason. Is it any wonder they also have a reputation for being 'fiery' and aggressive, just like short men!? ;-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Do women still find a man that's 'handy' attractive?
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:28:09 AM
I can build Ikea furniture, and I own a tape measure! Hubba hubba hubba!!! :-D
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 1007 (view)
 
Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/25/2012 3:59:15 AM
I'm 35 in September and in a 3-month relationship so far...

I feel completely ready to get married and settle down with the right person at this stage in my life, though after 3 months, I couldn't honestly say whether or not my girlfriend is 'the one' for me yet.

Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits and I'm very happy and content in our relationship thus far and want to develop it further, but it will be a huge deal for me to actually consider marriage/children with her (or anyone) until I'm absolutely sure we're the right match for each other - and we still don't really know each other THAT well yet.

I honestly don't know how long it'll take before I can feel confident to take the plunge with her and settle down (she, in contrast, already seems quite comfortable with the prospect, already at 35 herself), but I imagine we'll need to live together for a while and really get to know each other properly before I consider 'popping the question'.

It's frustrating, because if she IS the one for me (and if I am for her!), then we would be best to get cracking and commit/start a family as soon as possible (whilst we're as young as possible), but of course we still have to take that time to really know each other and be totally sure, otherwise we're potentially making a massive mistake that could really screw up our lives and possibly that of any children we might have.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
women hate short men
Posted: 7/23/2012 6:51:51 AM
Well as a 'short bloke' myself and knowing many others in the same boat, I can tell you categorically that most (not all men) do care about their height and this is not due to any kind of practical problem but because of the way they are viewed and treated by others, be it their peers, colleagues or indeed members of the opposite sex.


Agreed.

I think this is one of those obscure social prejudices that is difficult to empathise with if you've not actually experienced it first-hand (bit like what ginger-haired people sometimes have to deal with).

It does exist (particularly in playgrounds and on dating websites), it can be frustrating at times and can make life more challenging for some of us. But there's no reason a shorter guy can't find just as much love and success in life - he just has to work a bit harder for it.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 226 (view)
 
horror movies = red flag?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:22:23 AM
I am very fond of any type of 'fantasy' theme in movies/books. Sci-fi, fantasy and horror are all unique in that they are able to explore abstract/metaphysical themes and concepts freely and completely without real-world constraints.

It's a blank canvas, on which we can explore the nature of our existence. I love that feeling of watching a movie and knowing that 'anything' could happen!

Of course, there are masses of shallow and exploitative (some very unpleasant) 'b-movies' out there in all these genres, but if you can sift through them, there are some real gems in the horror genre (and certainly not all of them contain blood/gore/violence).
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What do Nerdy men look for in a woman?
Posted: 7/18/2012 3:47:31 AM
Get yourself a Star Trek uniform. That will probably cover 80%+ :p


Haha! That's good advice! :-D Or the Gold bikini Princess Leia wears in RotJ!! :-P

Nerdy guys are going to have a lot of personal interests and finding a gal who shares in (or at the very least is prepared to tolerate) some of those interests (just as he should be able to show some interest in hers) is very important to maintaining a harmonious relationship.

Same principle as any relationship really, just that those interests might not be as mainstream as most (bit 'quirky' even!), and nerds may be a little more fanatical at times in their following of these interests.

If you're cool with that, then you could be onto a winner! ;-)
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Profile Photo
Posted: 7/11/2012 1:26:31 AM
Not a huge fan of those pouty 'MySpace' photos, or the really low quality ones where you can't make out the person clearly anyway.

There is that website called "e-Harmony" which is supposed to help match people based more on mutual interests and personality over photos. I tried it once and found it to be useless, but I'm sure it has worked for many others out there.

PoF is predominately a 'With Photos' site - though there don't seem to be any hard and fast rules about whether to use photos, or what kind of photos (beyond the obscene).

I am sometimes shocked at the photos women use to try to attract guys - some are really not (imo) showing the women in their best light, but I guess we all have different ideas of how to present ourselves. Maybe these photos actually attract other guys out there.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 155 (view)
 
Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship?
Posted: 7/11/2012 1:11:49 AM
It depends on why this limitation has been placed on the relationship in the first place.

I've been in a couple of FWB relationships which lasted a few months each, but in both cases the girl I was seeing began to develop deeper feelings for me, which unfortunately I couldn't return - so we split up amiably when things started to get a bit awkward.

You can be attracted to someone and content to be in a monogamous relationship with them, even if you can't see a real long-term future for the relationship.

I suppose these feelings can change over time, but not in my experience.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What is it about smiley faces in messages?
Posted: 7/10/2012 2:23:18 AM
Smileys are handy for adding a sense of tone to a comment, so the comment is received in the spirit it was intended.

They're also fun and help to liven up an informal message!!! :-D

Plus, let's face it, people who hate smileys have no soul. ;-)


"Smiley faces are like the condoms of the text messaging world. I can say whatever I want without risk as long as I end it with a smiley face that clearly informs you I'm joking.

You whore. :)

See?"

I stole that from a sitcom, but it's true. It's called attaching human emotions to robotic writing, lol.


I want to watch that sitcom!! This made me chuckle! :-D
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 215 (view)
 
***MMA, UFC, WEC, and REAL FIGHTING***
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:48:46 AM
I've just read a few round-ups of the fight and the popular opinion is that Silva landed an 'Anchor punch' shortly before Sonnen went for his backfist, so it's possible Sonnen may have been more stunned from that shot than has been obvious to me.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 214 (view)
 
***MMA, UFC, WEC, and REAL FIGHTING***
Posted: 7/9/2012 7:05:09 AM
He wasn't dizzy from the spin.

He fell because of how much torqe you put on your body to actually throw that. And when you miss it, there is a good chance you will be off balance. And if you are, you're probably gonna fall down afterwards.


Agreed, but he just seemed to sit there on the floor for what seemed like a long time afterwards (a lot of guys would be right back on their feet instantly from a fall like that) - he even looked a bit dazed/confused. Maybe he didn't fancy getting back up knowing there'd be a beatdown waiting for him up there. ;-)

I just watched it again. He sits there for a moment, pulls himself back to the cage and just sits there some more and covers up. Silva seems to pause a moment, then realise Sonnen is just going to sit there - so he lays into him with the knee.

A Silva/Jones stand-up fight would be entertaining (they are both pretty unorthodox!), but I could certainly forgive Jones for taking things to the mat and exploiting Silva's apparent vulnerability.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 212 (view)
 
***MMA, UFC, WEC, and REAL FIGHTING***
Posted: 7/9/2012 2:55:50 AM
Sonnen just made a mistake with a guy you absolutely do not have the luxury of making a mistake with in the octagon.

In the first round, I honestly thought perhaps Sonnen finally had Silva's number and might actually make good on all his words (let's be honest, despite Silva's rib injury at the time and Sonnen's performance enhancing drugs scandal, Sonnen still remains the only guy to really give him any trouble in the UFC).

In the second round, Silva seemed to recover from the initial shock of the fearless and aggressive Sonnen who had swiftly brought the fight right to him (most of Silva's opponents tend to keep a respectful distance, don't run through his strikes and grab him, or dump him on the floor and keep him there). He was able to stuff Sonnens attempts at takedowns and keep the fight standing up. Sonnen just seemed to get desperate and tried that wacky back-fist/back-elbow.

He seemed to get dizzy from the spin and fall on his backside and sit there looking up at Silva for what seemed like a really long time (long enough to get smashed and lose).

I have no doubt that Sonnen 'could' beat Silva, but Silva is definitely the better fighter.

The real question at this point is where this leaves these two fighters?

Silva vs Jon Jones at Light Heavyweight?

Sonnen making good on his vow to leave UFC?
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Is a picture worth a 1000 words?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:38:23 AM
What you write will help or hinder your chances of making contact with gals on here, but for the most part it is your photos will 'make or break' things.

Certainly it is the photos that are more likely to get you noticed in the beginning.

Of course, it's a different ballgame entirely if you're not using a photo at all...
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 93 (view)
 
do usernames put you off?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:31:15 AM
I tend not to notice them unless someone has a name like "MenArePigs" or "OneLastTry" that hints at what I would interpret as a negative attitude towards men/dating.

A lot of them are pretty neutral (like mine), but the odd one makes me laugh out loud! I don't think I' choose to start chatting with someone on the basis of a clever username, but I might become curious enough to check out their profile.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is being a loner creepy?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:24:38 AM
It's tough starting out fresh in a new city with no-one you know to hang out with. Best advice I could think of would be to try to get friendlier with your work colleagues there and get out and socialise with them after hours. Also, if you're involved in any sports or leisure activities, you should be able to get friendly enough with some of the other folks sharing these activities to go out for the odd drink.

I see some 'lone' people at bars who have a natural charisma and will strike up a casual conversation with anyone in the bar. They are usually on first name terms with the staff and some of the regulars, and chatting with them is always very easy-going and casual and never an imposition on the privacy of the other patrons.

I guess it only starts to feel creepy if you get the sense they're talking to you with an ulterior motive, or because no-one else will talk to them so they've kinda latched onto you.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Fb - Why is it even important??
Posted: 7/2/2012 1:31:28 AM
Swapping Facebook accounts is how some people get a sense of who you are.

It can potentially open up a multitude of new photos, and also show how you interact with your friends.

Then there is that added element of security, they can check you are who you say you are.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Can people who use POF be trusted once they have found somebody
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:50:44 AM
Yeah, I forgot to mention I hid my profile like many of the others here - I agree you definitely need to do that once you progress into a committed relationship!

Keeping my (hidden) profile is strictly in order to contribute on the forums now, I don't see anything wrong with that, PoF is as much a social forum as it is a dating site in my opinion - you can take from it what you want...
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Can people who use POF be trusted once they have found somebody
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:39:17 AM
I've been seeing someone for just over 2 months now. I've put a note on my profile and I'm not contacting anyone now. I haven't deleted my account as I still like to poke around on the forums, but I'd say it's perfectly reasonable to trust a PoFer, everything else just depends on a person's individual sense of loyalty and honour in a relationship.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do men fall in love faster than woman?
Posted: 6/12/2012 9:18:18 AM
I'd say guys generally have a less complex/more immediate method of determining initial attraction.

When it comes to falling in love, I'd say men may take longer to recognise that they are in love than women do.

But as someone said, it will vary considerably between individuals.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Tall females need not apply??
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:04:42 AM

As others have said, depends on the guy. Some insist the guy is taller at all times, even when she wears heels. Others have a comfort range, usually plus or minus about 3 inches. Some guys taller than you won't go out with you because you're too close to their height. Some may have the Tom Cruise syndrome and only go out with taller women. Personally, I don't care; in fact I've gone out with woman your height that are 8 inches taller than me, and that's before they put on heels.

In summary: for some it's a turn off, for some it's a turn on, and the rest don't care.


This is all true, also you have the shorter guys who will just assume (based on a multitude of previous scenarios, and the general consensus on these forums) that a taller woman wouldn't be interested, so they won't necessarily initiate contact.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 71 (view)
 
How persistent are you?
Posted: 5/28/2012 8:49:28 AM
I would never chase someone either. What's the point in trying to persuade someone to be attracted to you?

If they're not every bit as enthusiastic as I am about getting to know each other, then I'd rather be looking for someone who would be.

I'll send one message at a time. If I don't get a reply to one of them, I won't send another message to follow it up.

On the other hand, I'm perfectly fine with initiating contact.
 LukeT77
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 115 (view)
 
How do you define Athletic?
Posted: 5/23/2012 4:32:36 AM
'Athletes' come in all shapes and sizes.

The use of such a term on this site is a bit misguided and confusing.

Fedor Emelianenko is a legend in the sport of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), and it cannot be disputed that he is very much a top-level 'athlete' in terms of his profession, his strength and cardio conditioning. That said, a lot of women on this site would probably call foul if they saw his photo on here with a body type listed as 'athletic':

http://www.mmaweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Fedor-Strikeforce-vs-Werdum.jpg

There seems to be a popular misconception that 'athletic' simply means 'cut' or 'low bodyfat'.

What category would you place a man with this physique into? 'Average'? 'A few extra pounds'? or 'Athletic'?
 
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