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Thread: Daily Beer Drinking

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 80 (view)

Daily Beer Drinking Posted: 1/25/2009 4:15:53 PM
My ex girlfriend drank every night, she would start about four o'clock and didn 't quit till bedtime, normally about 3-4 beers, but they were 6 point not 3.2, her family was murdered in front of her and that happened around 5 so she always started about four o'clock in the evening depending on what was going on. Every friday she went out to lunch with her best friend and they drank during lunch, then about two months before we broke up she started going to the bar for several hours with her best friend and then coming home and drinking more. I overlooked it because I loved her, but it was a problem, it changed the way she acted, she was more volatile, less emotional, as a matter of fact she totally emotionally withdrew all together and shut me out, I was then labeled as needy, clingy and whiney for trying to get her to communicate with me.

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 70 (view)

Loners for life...........the emotionally unavailable...... Posted: 1/22/2009 10:37:09 PM
I have to comment on this one myself, like someone said on here earlier I haven't read every post, but I just came out of a situation where I was involved with someone who definitely met this profile, I showered this woman with affection and told her to let me know if it was too much, she said she loved it she hadn't been treated that way before, after about 6 months she started pulling away, the more I tried to talk to her about it the worse it got. She would go days, at one span a week and a half with just casual conversation, yet at night she always told me she loved me, when I asked her why she was so quiet she said she just got that way I needed to understand it and just leave her alone, quit asking what was wrong. I finally put her on the spot and we broke up, she then turned on me like a rabid dog, accusing me of all sorts of crazy chit, we've been broke up since november and I'm doing so much better, it's only now I see what type of oppression I was under being in that type of a relationship, it was emotionally draining for sure.

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 265 (view)

Losing a loved one to death Posted: 1/22/2009 10:17:55 PM
I went through this myself, like deb stated people just don't know what to say or how to deal with what your going through, rather than take a chance they pull away. Good friends are an asset, because they will be there no matter what, if you need to cry they will allow it and not judge, if you need to vent they will listen because they know thats what they need to do, it's all they can do. I went through counseling, read numerous books and I poured myself into helping the other 7 teenagers that were involved in my sons accident, helping them healed me, they allowed me to love them even through my loss and I was healing in the process. Counseling is always the best thing, these people are trained to deal with what your going through, they can give you the tools you need to help, they can explain why your feeling what your feeling from a different perspective that makes sense, I hope this helps.

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Closure needed - can you assist? Posted: 1/22/2009 9:37:06 AM
I just went through this very thing, my girlfriend and I broke up, we agreed or so I thought that we were just going to take time apart and try to work things out, I asked her permission to text her while we were apart and she said that was fine. After about three weeks my heart was telling me that she hadn't told me the truth, so like you I needed closure, I tried to call her she refused to answer or return my calls, so I started getting more aggressive with my texts, nothing bad, just telling her the truth about how I felt she had done me, I thought this would get her to call me and tell me in her own words that is was over, it took several weeks, but she did just that, then preceded to tell me she was going to file harassment charges on me if I tried to contact her or any of her friends, moral of this story, I had to have closure in order to move on.

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 262 (view)

Losing a loved one to death Posted: 1/22/2009 9:27:49 AM
Grief is different for every person, we all grieve differently, there is no set pattern or timeline for dealing with grief. I lost the middle of my three children in 2005 in a vehicle accident, the loss was more than my marriage could handle, after over 24 years we ended the marriage. What happened; the difference in the way we handled the grief, I and my daughter were moving forward, but my wife gave up on life, she literally didn't want to go anywhere, do anything except lay in bed. Only you will know whether it's time to move on or not, time is your best friend here, moving to quickly can have adverse effects, trust me on this one. I met a woman and fell head over heels in love, her family were murdered right in front of her, at the time of our meeting she had been alone about a year and a half, but she said she was ready to move on, she wasn't, she ended the relationship after just over a year and has essentially pulled back into a cocoon, living each day out drinking her way into forgetting. Like I said time is on your side, listen to your heart and follow it.

Joined: 1/17/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Broken Heart Posted: 1/22/2009 9:17:04 AM
I couldn't have said it better myself, kudos to smileee, you have to establish the friendship first, if it's based on sexual attraction once that attraction is gone it will fizzle out very quickly.

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