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Thread: Pardon me?

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Pardon me? Posted: 9/13/2009 8:30:28 PM
*How all human communication fails, except by accident, or a commentary of Wiio's laws* http://www.cs.tut.fi/~jkorpela/wiio.html 1. Communication usually fails, except by accident. 1.1 If communication can fail, it will. 1.2 If communication cannot fail, it still most usually fails. 1.3 If communication seems to succeed in the intended way, there's a misunderstanding. 1.4 If you are content with your message, communication certainly fails. 2. If a message can be interpreted in several ways, it will be interpreted in a manner that maximizes the damage. 3. There is always someone who knows better than you what you meant with your message. 4. The more we communicate, the worse communication succeeds. 4.1 The more we communicate, the faster misunderstandings propagate. 5. In mass communication, the important thing is not how things are but how they seem to be. 6. The importance of a news item is inversely proportional to the square of the distance. 7. The more important the situation is, the more probably you forget an essential thing that you remembered a moment ago.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

fitness Posted: 8/26/2009 7:38:50 PM
Running is my religion and the Houston Trail is my church.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 195 (view)

The tolerant and the less-tolerant Posted: 8/25/2009 9:34:53 PM
w00t!1 finally a thread worth reading all the way through! Tolerance and Intolerance -- quite a challenging topic, but challenges always bring out the best in us, the true in us. Coming late to the party, I didn't quite get the hurt feelings. I was just reading the words, trying to catch up with the points that were being made, so I was sometimes surprised when posts came up with reactions about a misinterpretation. I enjoyed the debate over ideas. I liked how people called each other out to better explain their points of view. Now that's not a comfortable thing when we're not used to it or not expecting it, or if someone isn't very skillful at expressing themselves, but this is, after all, a forum for discussion. While I do enjoy the funny threads (what the hell happened to "Can I Get You a Glass of Haterade?"), this is one of the few threads I've come across that I've found to be very thought-provoking. And because of all of your intense discussion, here are some thoughts that came up for me: Sometimes words come laden with judgement, for example, "intolerant" can be used as a synonym for "close-minded" or for "passionately opinionated"; "tolerant" can mean "wishy-washy" or "all embracing". Yeah, we can look up the definition in the dictionary, but how we use the words mean more, reveal more. I used to say that I was intolerant of the intolerant. But now, after reading this thread, I realize that the real language that describes what I'm feeling is that I'm bored or impatient with the intolerant. Then I thought of one of my heroes, Dr Martin Luther King, Jr, known for his message of tolerance. Was he ever intolerant? Most people would say that he was intolerant of injustice, that he was intolerant of the harm caused to others, as well as the harm that comes to the perpetrators of injustice. Gandhi, Jesus, MLK -- our greatest leaders teach that while love must guide us, we don't have to be wimps about it. Nonviolent resistance or civil disobedience takes tremendous creativity, and it requires that we love the people we're hoping to persuade to change. That is, love them, while remaining intolerant of their behaviour/actions. "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love." ~ MLK I don't want to be wishy-washy, nor do I want to be closed-minded, but I'm still quite a ways from loving my neighbours, even from afar.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Changes to' Favorites ' Display ? Posted: 8/25/2009 10:22:20 AM
^^^^ ah, sweetie -- save yourself some time: just believe that we all are ;)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

When do you put down an interest as an interest? Posted: 8/25/2009 10:15:33 AM
Someone might want to use the "Interests" section as yet another opportunity to start a conversation. When you want to write to someone, it can sometimes be a little difficult to come up with something compelling to say. Give 'us a frikkin bone, people! Make your interests interesting.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Changes to' Favorites ' Display ? Posted: 8/25/2009 10:04:19 AM
I'm noticing the difference it makes not having that information about someone who contacts me. If they don't have many favorites, I assume -- probably incorrectly ;) -- that they're new to the site. I'm a little more tolerant and more likely to respond so that they get a good impression of our community. Unless of course it's a form letter copied and pasted into a message -- another assumption, admittedly. But if it isn't a form letter yet sounds like it is, well then, they have bigger problems than not hearing back from me. Another thing that's missing is the last five forum posts. (Are the testimonials next?) So now the only thing left is the profile content itself. Sigh. Will these features become add-ons that come with paid membership? Big Fish should consider how much users value each of them. It sure doesn't sound like listing the number of favorites is valued very much.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Counterpart or fantasy partner? Posted: 8/6/2009 11:40:44 AM
Matches aplenty, of course, but only if the two can find each other in this sometimes murky pond. When our requirements list includes things like their age, their height, their looks, it seems to me to be leaning toward fantasy and superficial aspects. But when our list includes other aspects, such as shared values, type of humour, interests that reveal how they enjoy their days, those are elements that help us identify our counterpart. They're still fantasy until we meet the real person. The hardest part is deciphering someone's profile and finding clues to what kind of person they might be. Writing our own profiles so our counterpart can recognize us is so challenging. And while we try to figure that out, it's still pretty fun to splash around the pond :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Updated profile, looking for feedback Posted: 3/27/2009 11:55:17 PM
Excellent work, Light Storm ! I like how you show, don't tell -- well done. There's only one tiny incongruency you might like to edit: In your second paragraph you tell us about your peaceful ways; however, in your third you say, " Anyone who say’s this place is boring or thinks there is nothing to do… needs to be smacked upside the back of the head." Maybe you could delete the smacking bit phrase, right from after the ellipsis to the period. You wouldn't lose a thing, while maintaining your zero tolerance for hurting others. Unless, of course, you're only violent when people fail at suggesting activities ;) There's all kinds of people here in the pond. Can your kind of people recognize you?

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 192 (view)

What do you find beautiful? Posted: 3/26/2009 9:30:17 PM
All the diamonds in this world That mean anything to me Are conjured up by wind and sunlight Sparkling on the sea ~Bruce C*ckburn

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Joggers/Runners in my area? Posted: 3/26/2009 9:28:36 PM
Herding Cats, the Running Room has an excellent program for new runners. Their philosophy is "make haste slowly". You start out running one minute, walking one, and then every week, you add another minute of running, up to 10 and 1. The Learn-to-Run and the For-Women-Only are out running/walking for about 1/2 hour. It's a proven program that will get you to the start line of your goal race injury-free. 99% of people who make it to the start line finish their race. The new runners' goal race is usually a local 5K. It's great fun to run with people who are at the same level of fitness you're at, and you meet lots of wonderful people. The endorphin rush is really worth the effort ;)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Do you find yourself clicking on the Gold dots first? Posted: 3/25/2009 4:12:21 PM
I wonder how valuable Big Fish will find the results of this survey, since it's only forum users who are responding. I'm not seeing too many gold members, but it's just the beginning. Seems to me though that there needs to be sufficient quantities to make it seem a more valuable status rather than just a rare one.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

$ 50 billion wasted of wrong diets Posted: 3/1/2009 11:52:22 AM
Here's my diet & exercise plan for free! Keep moving. Don't eat crap.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 173 (view)

usage + grammar RANT Posted: 3/1/2009 11:40:36 AM
^^^ What a great find! There's a difference between being judgmental and being discerning. As BC Boy says in Msg 159 I wouldn't call it judging so much..as calling it.. making an informed decision. Do you take special care getting ready for a date? Perhaps you do if you want to make a good impression. Shouldn't we take the same care with our profiles? You'd think that those who state that they are CEOs or select PhD as their education level would, at the least ;)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 164 (view)

usage + grammar RANT Posted: 2/28/2009 8:36:55 PM
^^^^^ LOL!! Run for your lives! There's weight on the loose!

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 160 (view)

usage + grammar RANT Posted: 2/28/2009 4:55:35 PM
May I vent? I'm a little teapot, short & stout. When I get all steamed up ... Who refers to people. That and which refer to groups or things. I am a person who* enjoys walking on the beach.* It's PIQUES, not peaks, not peeks. If anything here piques* your interest, drop me a line.* It does make a difference: You want PEACE* of mind, when you want things to be calm.* You give somebody a PIECE* of your mind, when you're angry that they've disturbed you.* On a positive note, I'm grateful for the mighty spell-checker, so we no longer have to deal with the complications of D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y. Ah, I feel so much better :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/21/2009 3:39:57 PM
She? last time I checked I was a he. oops! Last time, I didn't check. Sorry, SeraphimShadow.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 62 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/17/2009 6:58:11 PM
SeraphimShadow says I also wanted to point out that the tone of someones writing can be mistaken often. and she is absolutely correct. We would be wise to refrain from reacting too harshly to the tone we get from the written word. However, Xavery, there is no doubt that the message you received had a mean and snarky undertone. The bold in the quote marks when the red flags were raised for me: Wow, you are plenty whacky, perhaps in a charming sort of way. I'd like to know you better to see if it's genuine or a thin veneer that washes with the rain. Creativity of the mind usually indicates intelligence. Besides yourself, does anyone else think that your're smart? How unfortunate that while he has the skill to express himself, he had to add those negative digs. Don't you just love it when they declare "I am an A$$hat" right off the bat! Saves so much time :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/13/2009 10:23:07 PM
^^^ that's a great strategy, Un~Leashed! Excellent stress management. I'm guilty of not replying to some messages. Even if I'm not interested, I usually do try to respond in a friendly way. We're all responsible for the sense of community we're creating here in the pond, and politeness goes a long way. But sometimes I get the strangest notes, and when I go to the sender's profile, I'm still at a loss to come up with anything to say. I've stopped feeling bad about not replying to those kinds of messages. If the sender can't take the time to craft an engaging message, or doesn't care enough to create an interesting profile, I ignore their note. And when I want to send a stronger message, I read-delete. There are plenty of fish who are interesting and articulate. Why should any of us waste precious time trying to come up with a reply to a message the sender put very little thought into?

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

FEATURE REQUEST >> Filter or Sort My Favorites List Posted: 2/12/2009 8:03:25 PM
I can now: The Competition. The two key anchors of all social media are Meaning and Connection. Big Fish, you've given us the connection with the favorites list, and this feature request asks for some meaning to be applied to it.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 164 (view)

FAQ: How does one become a volunteer moderator Posted: 2/9/2009 7:00:50 PM
Should people who donate blood be paid for doing so? In Canada, blood donations are given freely; in the US, donors make a bit of money. Should people who volunteer in their communities be paid for doing so? A very few people are paid, for example, those people who have tremendous organizing skills. The Plenty of Fish forums are an online community. If there aren't ways to keep folks following the community rules, any kind of online community, the community will quickly devolve to a trollfest. Don't the reasons for BoingBoing's moderator exist for the same reasons on POF? Q. Why does Boing Boing have to have a moderator? A. First answer: Because every general-interest online forum that's worth reading has some kind of moderation system in force. Second answer: Because four years ago, Boing Boing's first, unmoderated comment system went so septic that it had to be shut down. The Boingers want to never go through that again. In some online communities, especially where the participation level is a huge part of the site's brand, they do pay their moderators. And those moderators work their butts off. I think that there aren't enough moderators on POF, and that the few that are here are spread too thinly.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Friday The Thirteenth Posted: 2/9/2009 12:56:47 PM
I know that there's a party at a long-time-ago friend's house this Friday night. For years (decades, really. really? decades ??), it's been his own personal tradition to host a house party every single Friday the 13th. He's half a continent away, but I'm thinking about him. And, probably, so are many of his friends who aren't able to attend. If you're going to get slammed with bad luck, surround yourself with friends and revelry :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

I hate dating, I really do. Posted: 2/7/2009 8:23:09 PM
The only time dating is any fun is if I don't actually like the person enough to care about the end result. I agree. Let's only date people we're not interested in. It is far less stressful. Oh dear, the armour we wear to protect our hearts can sure get heavy sometimes.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

FEATURE REQUEST >> Filter or Sort My Favorites List Posted: 2/5/2009 7:18:59 PM
I would love to be able to sort through my favorites in other ways than by how they're organized now (time of their last log in). It would be helpful to have either system-generated or user-created filters to organize My Favorites list. System-generated filters might include Mutual Favorites (we faved each other), and Contacted Favorites (one of us sent the other an email). User-generated filters I'd be interested in tagging/sorting/checking off/adding my favorites to might include: Pals, Someday, Fan/Cyber Stalking (it's so much easier to follow someone in the forums when I can get to them quickly from my favorites list). While I'm asking for the moon, I'll also ask for the ability to create my own filter and add my favorites to it. One such filter /list name might be Great People Splashing Around. Yes, I fave those people. They give me hope :) Business Case: I can't think of one for this feature.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

What is your favorite fast food? Posted: 2/4/2009 3:03:01 PM
Sushi -- it's fast, it's fresh, and it's cheap. Plus, there are sushi joints everywhere :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Problem with Favorites Posted: 2/2/2009 9:59:37 PM
1. Remember the username of the person you want to fave. For example, Ticketoride. 2. Go to your own Favorites page, and then scroll down the page to the bottom, below the line "You are only allowed 3,000 friends". 3. Enter the username of your new favorite in the text box, and then click Add Friend. 4. Enjoy the sight of your new favorite in your list :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 2/2/2009 4:42:38 PM
Yes, there are a so many guys who have graduate degrees here in the Lower Mainland! Perhaps they are very tired from writing all those research papers? How else to explain why they have only two or three lines to their profiles.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

How do you like being told,,,,, Posted: 1/25/2009 5:47:27 PM
What's new is that you can get involved in politics, organize at the grassroots level, support strong leadership, and change the world. Yes, you can!

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

How do you like being told,,,,, Posted: 1/25/2009 1:42:34 PM
When I read that you're "not particularly fond of governments," this is what immediately came to my mind: Reg: All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what have the Romans done for us? /end monty python off-topic interlude I haven't seen the ad yet, so perhaps I'm not qualified to respond, but "Tell all our MLAs how they should vote" and "Put economics before politics" sounds very much to me that they are trying to engage the public in political discussion. Your suggestion that government is "telling people what to do" when they are asking for public opinion seems a curious conclusion. Are you telling us what to do when you post a new thread asking our opinion?

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

What's been your favorite POF forum topic? Posted: 1/24/2009 3:17:36 PM
My favorite was "Can you get me a glass of Haterade?" What happened to that one? Maybe I'm remembering the title wrong ...

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Your Song / Day of your Debut Posted: 1/23/2009 9:03:49 PM
On the day I was born, "It's Now Or Never," by Elvis Presley, was the #1 song. How perfect is this: It's now or never, come hold me tight Kiss me my darling, be mine tonight Tomorrow will be too late, it's now or never My love won't wait.

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

FEATURE REQUEST: Make Headline field 140 characters Posted: 1/23/2009 5:21:55 PM
The suggestion follows the conventions on other social network sites. 140 characters is the amount of space that you have to write a status update on your Facebook or Twitter or many other microblogging sites. I, too, wonder why it's 140 characters. I notice on my phone that texting is limited to 160. Ah, yet another mystery of software development :)

Joined: 1/19/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

FEATURE REQUEST: Make Headline field 140 characters Posted: 1/22/2009 8:32:41 PM
Purpose: Drive more traffic to the profiles + Offer one more avenue to let users catch a fishie's interest. Make Headline field 140 characters If the Headline field were at least 140 characters, it could be used as a place where the users could update their headline with a brief message. Display Headline in the Favorites List User reads headlines in her/his favorites or in list of folks who have faved the user, and then says, "Oo, that's interesting. Now I have something to talk to them about." User then click the profile of the interesting headline and sends a message.

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