Never married & over 40 chat & forums.

online dating service

REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

Posted In Forum:

Home

login

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Never married & over 40

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Never married & over 40 Posted: 4/3/2006 7:09:58 PM
I guess I figure that by the time we reach a certain age, we're all somewhat set in our ways, whether we've been married before, lived with someone in a long-term relationship, or have pretty much gone the whole road on our own. The trick is finding the person whose quirks and "ways" mesh well with your own, even if they aren't quite the same. We're all weird and difficult to live with in some ways, and the best possible person to have around in others. Easier said than done, for sure, but for me whether or not someone had been married before certainly wouldn't be one of my litmus tests.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Useless at Dating, looking for advice. Posted: 4/2/2006 8:25:07 PM
Can't say I have much in the way of ideas or solutions, but just wanted to sympathize. There's a "nice girl" syndrome out there too, and I've got it. I'm the great listener, the good friend, etc. etc. The guys all want to talk to me, but it usually ends up with them telling me all their problems, not asking me for a date : ). Sometimes I think it's self-defeating behavior on my part. If you're one of those people who's personality just invites others to open up, share, and trust you pretty much off the bat as a friend, all the sudden you're someone who already knows their secrets. There's no mystery about you, and no mystery for you about them. Even though I've kinda figured that much out, though, I wouldn't change the way I am. And you shouldn't either. There are those out there who value those qualities in a guy. For some reason, they're just harder to find, maybe because they're the ones who are less likely to be out hunting. Good luck to you!

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

who should move? Posted: 4/2/2006 7:32:28 PM
It does sound like he should be the one to move. And I completely get you wanting to do what's best for the weasely critter too, obviously : ).

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

Women who CANNOT cook to save their lives Posted: 3/28/2006 4:45:08 PM
I was always one of those "can't cook" girls. My ex was a chef, so I guess I got spoiled and lazy. Although I was always the one who did dishes and cleanup, so I guess I wasn't THAT lazy : ). I'm learning to actually cook instead of just do the basics now - better late than never! I have to admit I'm kinda having fun with it.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

Funny Kids. Posted: 3/26/2006 3:42:04 PM
This is a great thread. I'm cracking up reading some of these. Here's one that had my whole office in tears from laughing recently: My co-worker has a 5-year old daughter. She (the co-worker) popped a tic-tac in her mouth one day and her daughter asked what it was. She said "It's a tic-tac, honey." Her daughter wanted one, and she was afraid of her choking on it, so she said "no, you wouldn't like the way it tastes. It's just to make Mommy's breath smell good." A few days later, her daughter went into the bathroom one morning right after her husband had finished up his morning ritual and gone downstairs for breakfast. The little girl came flying out of the bathroom, holding her nose, and squealed "Mommy, Daddy needs a tic-tac for his butt!"

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Odd coincidences Posted: 3/20/2006 10:41:35 PM
Not too far from my neighborhood there's a strip mall where a women's gym recently opened up next to one of those all you can eat buffett places ...

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

girls, is jim carrey hot? Posted: 3/16/2006 7:58:05 PM
Okay, after reading all the responses I feel like a bit of a freak, because I have to say I do think he's kinda cute. But more in a housepet than a do-me-baby sort of way.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

I don't get it, what's wrong with me? Posted: 3/16/2006 7:44:59 PM
Sweetie, what's wrong with you is that you're so worried that something IS wrong with you. I don't mean that to sound mean. In fact, my intention is pretty much just the opposite. But there is more than a hint in your profile of sadness and fear of rejection. And honestly, most people shy away from that during the "first impression" stage, whether in an online venue or hanging out in a pub. We've all got our own insecurities to deal with, and guard ourselves against having to take on someone else's, at least before we even get to know them. Think about showing a brighter, happier side of you in your profile. Show what you have to offer more than what you need. Be honest, but not borderline critical of yourself. We all have our bad-self-esteem moments, but don't make them the face you put forward. I'm sure you've got a lot to offer the right guy. All the best to you.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Asia (remember them?) reunites. Posted: 3/15/2006 9:34:18 AM
I saw Asia (although it wasn't the full original band) back in July in Annapolis. It was an amazing show and brought back so many memories. (Loved "Heat of the Moment" but for me it was all about "Only Time Will Tell"). After the show, my friends and I went and had a few drinks at the pub in the venue, and actually spoke with the band a bit since they were just hanging out having a few themselves. We were laughing about how, if we could get in a time machine and go back to the 80's, our teenage selves would have squealed like idiots if we'd known this would happen to us one day.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

What is the biggest mistake you have made on a date? Posted: 3/14/2006 7:42:33 PM
The biggest mistake I've had a guy make on a date? We're having what seems to be a fairly normal afternoon out (second date) and he pauses our conversation to ask if he could come over to my place to do laundry or "better yet, could he just drop it off and I could do it for him?" Is it just me, or does the thought of seeing someone's dirty underwear before you've seen them naked somehow take the mystery out of things? My biggest mistake? Actually going out with him again before calling it off. I was going through a moron phase, I guess. At least I didn't do his laundry.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

Divorced men with ex-wives as their best friends Posted: 3/12/2006 8:47:08 PM
I'm one of those who has remained friends with her ex, even though we don't have children. We got together young, and spent 15 years of our lives with each other, ten of them married. When we split, it was after a lot of thought and consideration and admitting that we no longer had the same goals in life or were happy together. Sometimes there's not enough compromise in the world. But our breakup hasn't been hateful, so why should we not maintain a good relationship? "Best friends," I'd say no. That's too close for comfort. But even though our marriage is ending, we still share some of the same friends and will always care about each other's families. I have a niece and my ex was her only uncle, and I would never want them not to have contact. He's been a positive role model in her life and that shouldn't change. I think if you can do it, maintaining a friendship is a good thing. You do have to set boundaries and not be overly involved in each other's lives. You have to let go and be respectful and considerate of the feelings of new people in your former partner's life. But there's no reason not to keep up with how the other person is doing, be there for each ohter when needed as long as you do it in a way that is respectful of new partners, and share healthy relationships with the people who are in both of your lives.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

What happens if you ended alone? Posted: 1/18/2006 7:03:14 PM
I'd remind myself that Prince Charming would probably have bored me after a while, and start chasing after the court jester. He's probably more my speed anyway. Seriously, while I don't like the thought of ending up alone, there's a lot out there to do and enjoy while I'm watching and waiting. It's entirely up to me to make myself happy. And when I'm not doing such a good job at it, a margarita or two doesn't hurt : ).

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

so, why are you still single? Posted: 12/22/2005 2:01:13 PM
One of my best friends is in her mid-30's and has been single all her life. She gets this question all the time, along with the "well-intentioned" happily-marrieds at work trying to fix her up with their husband's cousin's best friend's brother. Ever since I've been separated from my husband (which hasn't been long), when we're out and about and she gets that question, I chime in and say "because she doesn't want to end up like me!!). I'm kidding, on the one hand. But on the other hand there's some truth to it. There's something to be said for waiting until an age where you've done most of your growing up and figuring out who you are before finding "the one." My husband and I were "the one" for each other at 20, but we sure weren't at 35.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Holiday Season! Posted: 12/19/2005 12:09:32 PM
This is my first "single" holiday season in a really long time, and I will say it does seem a bit more strange and lonely than at other times of the year. The first Christmas where I don't have to figure out how to divide time between my family and the in-laws, where gifts and cards aren't "from us" but "from me," where I'm not enjoying all the seasonal stuff with my husband, etc. I'm really trying to be positive about it, though, and spending time with my single friends seems to help a lot. Family time helps too, but since I was with my husband for so long me going to things solo is a bit weird for them too. They kinda miss him, but don't want to admit it because they think that might make me sad. I remind myself that although I don't have a "partner," I'm not alone, and that I have more time and energy to give to other people in my life who mean a lot to me. Or if I'm about and about, I'll make a point to talk to someone who truly does seem alone, and leave them with a smile. It isn't perfect, but it could be a heck of a lot worse.

Joined: 12/18/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

Worst fashion error of your life. Posted: 12/19/2005 11:59:58 AM
I think the 80's were one big fashion mistake for me. Parachute pants. Legwarmers. Multicolored high-tops. Big bangs and feathered hair. Joan Jett eyeliner. Big dangly earrings that I'm surprised didn't cause permanent brain damage. And I thought I'd managed to supress those memories ...

Show ALL Forums