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Discipline - Is yelling at your children wrong?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:32:50 PM | If you are yelling at a 4 year old you need help! At 4 years old they have the attention span of a nat. You are angry and impatient and you are taking it out on him.
I was married for 18 years to a woman who yelled all the time. I watched my kids cry in frustration for always being in trouble. I watched as they grew to be angry defient children. I watched as she became more frustrated as they learned to tune her out. Yes she had fits of cursing and screaming. This led to huge fights between us. she accussed me of being to easy on them . I was accused of letting them do whatever and not having rules.
I watched my son grow up to yell back at her and hit her. I watched my other one live in his own little world withdrawn from everyone. I see my daughter as an angruy frustrated person like her mom.
Foe Gods sake! he is 4! he does not learn by rules, he learns by example and calm confident behavior. Good for the guy who left you. I appluade him. What you are doing is emotional child abuse.
Your Ex is on the right track. go easy, don't worry, he will grow up and be fine. If he is not hurting himself or others there is no crisis.
Now I have had the chance to raise my kids for the past 3 years. Yes, I am the custodial parent. I never yell, scream or show emotion. I have set guidelines that we all follow. I have ONLY one rule. Respect me,respect yourself, respect others. After that do what you want and enjoy life.
when my kids are out of line I remove everything that means something to them. I do this quietly and without warning. I take EVERYTHING away. Things must be earned back. Sometimes it may take a month or two. Yes they get nasty at first.. but then when there is no button to push no angery from me, I suddenly have a sweet helpful kid who i enjoy being around.
I suggest parenting classes. I took them for 16 weeks. I t was wondeful and eye opening. You will thank yourself.
Keep yelling and you will live to regret it.
Oh, by the way.. My oldest 2 have graduated highschool a year early. One is going to Baylor. The other to the Airforce Acadamy. My youngest skiped a grade also in 7th and is now a junior at 15. They do not smoke drink or do drugs. There is no need for them to self medicate. They live in a stable calm enviroment.
Good luck!
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