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jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

C++ Developers? Posted: 11/22/2009 6:33:56 PM
Stackoverflow.com may be a better place to post questions about software development. C++ is still used and in some areas will likely continue to be used over and over again. Java and .Net are around and in some ways they are better but I'm pretty sure Windows wasn't written in .Net and that isn't about to change anytime soon.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

The fuzzy line between real life and POF Posted: 11/22/2009 4:27:13 PM
I don't know either. Course I also have no wish to know as there are many other things that are more important to handle.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Hard Question Posted: 11/22/2009 12:05:11 PM
It can be a hard question if there are different ways to interpret it. Could he see it as something similar to a, "Does this make me look fat?" where some answers do not go over well? Could he see it as you are hinting about something? Not confident in the relationship as you are asking rather than suggesting something? You do see some warning signs that suggest you should move on and I'd hope you do. He may be changing for you but at some point that may well backfire.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 1408 (view)

Calgary Sunday breakfast Posted: 11/22/2009 12:02:14 PM
Was there a big CFL party somewhere this morning? There were only 2 of us at brekkie.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Met on date site now does one withdraw or ask the question? Posted: 11/21/2009 7:20:15 PM
I'd suggest talking about what are you requiring in a relationship that isn't being met with the other person. Some people may have 101 reasons for not meeting up, whether you accept that or not is up to you. Some people enjoy games, one doesn't need to look much further than professional sports and video games to see many people participating for various reasons. Some people may have a hard time stating what they want, where they are, and how they want it to be. How open a dialogue either gender wants probably ranges the entire spectrum, or at least that would be my guess.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Do you like to like be the Pursuer or the Pursued? Posted: 11/21/2009 5:57:53 PM
My initial level of interest is probably higher if the woman initiates first. I'm lazy that way. Which dynamics at what stage of a relationship? If it is that first date then, isn't that a little early to be making such conclusions?

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

Hopeless virgins Posted: 11/20/2009 5:41:48 PM
How big are you talking? 1200 lbs? 400 lbs? 200 lbs? There are more than a few different answers and in some ways being big can also mean having diabetes and low testosterone which can mess up one's sex life. While I have had sex, this did require some work on my part in talking to a woman and befriending her and all the usual stuff. How sure are you of these guys being straight, horny dudes? I ask because at times I've been non-sexual and I suspect some other big people could be gay. Last but not least, it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be a virgin in their 30s and beyond.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Why are you really on here? Posted: 11/20/2009 4:46:27 PM
Yes, there are people on this site that want a meaningful relationship. I would argue meaningful is subject to massive interpretation as man-crush or bromance relationships could be considered meaningful or that of a teacher/pupil, which may not be what you meant. Also, they may not be near you geographically as I'm a few provinces over in Alberta. You don't coax them out, you can either send messages to guys and see what happens or go to local events and meet people there. I'm on this site to expand my social circle. While that does include looking for a soulmate, I'm open to many other types of relationships including friendship. I came on here after reading some of the story behind this site's creator.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

should I forget it? Posted: 11/16/2009 1:13:18 PM
IMO, no you are reading way way too much into this. Talk to the guy and see what happens.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 47 (view)

Do you read the profile? Posted: 11/16/2009 12:51:41 PM
Anyway, I guess those who message without a clue pretty much get the 'thanks but no thanks' reply. If that even. Some messages get no reply. Just saying.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

The fuzzy line between real life and POF Posted: 11/13/2009 6:51:55 PM
Nah, I wouldn't freak out. I would care in that my mental gymnastics that I'd jump to would be wondering if I'd exchanged messages with this person or someone they know, and what do they know about me. I'd probably welcome a chat, I have been to many Meet and Greets and other PoF events, so I feel like an old hand in that. I'm not sure if I would approach someone that I thought I recognized from here at a non-PoF event. I can be a bit shy in most social situations, unless I feel like I'm on my home turf.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Calgary - PoF Christmas Dance Posted: 11/12/2009 9:27:02 PM
Yeah, my right foot is a little flat, but I'm not sure everyone wants to see my distorted foot.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Do you read the profile? Posted: 11/12/2009 9:16:34 PM
I do read, but then I enjoy that kind of thing. Reading may be boring or hard for some people, I'd think. Of course there is also the potential for some people to either do selective reading where they only notice what they like or what agrees with them, or they may think there are that one in a bazillion person that while they may do something you don't like, you'll make that uber-rare exception in his case. Ask and ye shall receive. Not always what you want, but that's part of the whole free will idea as I understand it.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Man-shy Posted: 11/11/2009 8:39:33 PM
You may have to see if you can find some women to help you practice your approach. An important point to ponder is how do you handle the situation where you say something stupid? Do you laugh at yourself? Do you self-criticize so much that you become suicidal? Do you just freeze up? I would think there is something to be said for the guy that can laugh at himself, not take himself too seriously and is OK whether he gets a date or not.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Cancelled XMAS parties Posted: 11/11/2009 8:31:56 PM
I think where I work is having a shindig down at Heritage Park but everyone that does go has to pay $10 so it isn't free. Does that count as gypped?

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

So, you're gonna get married.... Posted: 11/11/2009 2:23:14 PM
This would be my contribution as something I doubt many other people would ever pick in a bazillion years: Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? - By The Guild http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNyg1ftMIU

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

you tell me....... Posted: 11/11/2009 8:02:06 AM
Why can't a man want a polygamous relationship? Who can prove that all guys want monogamy? There are some religions in the world that preach that a man can have multiple wives. So it isn't just an ego boost if you happen to be of that faith necessarily. I do think there is something to be said for the "seek out attention, intimacy" that carries a dangerous implication to my mind. If I as a guy flirt with another woman, is that automatically wrong? If my girlfriend flirts with another man is that automatically wrong? I'd like to hope not, but you seem to suggest a much higher code of morality. If I'm not married then I'm not committed to any person or have vows to uphold. No, people can be happy and content with their partner and still want more. I think you may have a rather simplistic view that you may discover things don't work that way. I would think everyone having free will and others interpreting things are much more important to highlight. If a guy says "Hello" to a waitress, that may be interpreted as flirting by some people while others see that as just being friendly.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Bye Bye Tories Posted: 11/7/2009 8:46:28 PM
They are probably listening to their own hot air. After all, just look at all their comments about how well the flu shots have gone over the past few weeks.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Trust Posted: 11/7/2009 8:04:49 PM
You don't, ever really if you think about it. Trust is given, usually in small amounts initially and increased over time if the responsibility is handled well. If the trust is violated or broken, that's another story but it is your choice as to how much you trust someone. How do you know you can trust your friends and family with whatever you tell them? Same applies to someone you are dating, IMO.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

Christmas Dance Posted: 11/7/2009 5:18:06 PM
How about a double trouble bubble? Some people like to shake things up ya know, just giving fair warning.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

What I simply love about weekends Posted: 11/7/2009 3:32:46 PM
Part of the weekend is also the weekbeginning or weekstart but that rarely gets acknowledged. I like the idea of brunch while lupper or sunch hasn't quite taken off yet.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

I'm not interested... but I'm going to continue to talk to you anyway? Posted: 11/7/2009 2:56:26 PM
Pure speculation on my part but here is one possible scenario: He hasn't been on a date and is ashamed to state it. If the question was asked in front of others there is a chance that he may be mocked or belittled and thus choose not to expose vulnerability but rather agitation so that he doesn't have to answer the question. Alternatively, he may have had some rather bad dates and believes the question is the beginning of a series of questions that may get into some personal stuff that he'd rather not air as if he says, "Yes, they were horrible," isn't it likely to want some more details? I'd think so. Lastly, if the guy isn't good at relationships, disclosing details may not be something that comes easily. The platonic relationship may not be as deep as you'd think would be another possibility.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Your two cents worth...... Posted: 11/7/2009 1:54:22 PM
The duality and double negative are the two things are stick out the most for me. The duality is in terms of take and deserve as well as best and worst. I suppose the two uses of "not" in the sentence are useful as if one takes them out the sentence becomes slightly different: "If you can take me at my worst, then you do deserve me at my best." That implies a reward while the other is more of a necessary but not sufficient condition to my mind. Just a little philosophical am I at times.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

23 year old women without children, and I'm weird? Posted: 11/7/2009 9:02:38 AM
My guess would be that you may seem to be good with children or have some motherly vibe that they sense and thus it may be surprising that you don't have children. As I haven't met you in person, I can't say whether or not there is some validity to that statement. As for being odd, we all have our little quirks that may generate a "weird, why not?" response from people.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Christmas Dance Posted: 11/6/2009 6:14:53 PM
Now what should we discuss? After all there is over a month to go still.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Favorite 80s music Posted: 11/4/2009 6:25:24 PM
Michael Jackson's Thriller - many good songs from that album. Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet Van Halen - The David Lee Roth era Guns 'N' Roses - Their earliest stuff. Duran Duran - Yes they made very very cheesy videos, but at least they are remembered. If I could go one more decade up then I'd have the goodies like Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 73 (view)

Confused & upset - Why do men do this? Posted: 11/3/2009 7:31:46 AM
There are many different answers that come to mind: 1. Dead or in the hospital - Do we just assume that folks never end up getting hurt and may be out of contact for an extended period of time? 2. Abducted by some TV show - Ever see those people on Dr. Phil where he asks them if they want to go to rehab NOW, not tomorrow or the next day but right then and there? Or he went away on Survivor or Amazing Race and didn't have time to give you notice? 3. Death of someone close - You expect him to call you if he's having to travel to someone's funeral? 4. Work emergency out in the boonies - Depending on his job, maybe he got sent to Siberia to fix something? Those are a few possibilities that come to mind within a few minutes. Have you ever cut contact from someone in your life? Why did you do that? Those would be other reasons, too.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

why is it so hard to meet a nice man? Posted: 11/3/2009 7:21:08 AM
What are you doing to find a fit, nice man that will be a good provider? That's the question that comes to my mind as there are probably dozens of men that are fit and good providers but they aren't going to go up to every woman and ask, "Hi, I'm a fit, nice man that will be a good provider, do you want me?" Just another perspective to this and I do agree that the profile review may be worth doing but don't forget that some people can appear to be one thing but really be something else that you may have to work out how you want to handle those cases.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Dec. 20, 2009 - 2nd annual Christmas Breakfast - PJs required. Posted: 11/2/2009 7:51:26 PM
Would boxers and T-shirt be acceptable or do I have to go buy some PJs? After all, why shouldn't I get to play dress up 2 days in a row.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Cute Doesn't Cut It ... Posted: 11/1/2009 9:14:52 PM
That's like asking a fat guy how it feels to have a size 32 waist. Oh, he dreams about it..but it ain't happening. Well, chances are at some point in the past the guy did have a 32 waist as I doubt anyone is born with a waist of that size. Just sayin'.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Would you call this flirting? Is he interested? Posted: 10/31/2009 9:44:15 AM
My suggestion would be to find a private place to have a chat. Perhaps he sees you as a little sister in which case what you see as flirting is just his being very friendly and wanting to try to cheer you up. The question of whether or not he wants a romantic relationship with you is a valid one that only he can answer and is something to bring up as you do have a relationship with him and have to see how does he see it. Workplace romances can be tricky but how sure are you that that is the case here and not that you remind him of his sister or you are the sister he always wished he had? Just another perspective to consider, that's all I'm saying.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 1373 (view)

Calgary Sunday breakfast Posted: 10/28/2009 5:01:00 PM
Bringing a mystery guest, Alluria?

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Do you think everyone needs a vice? Posted: 10/24/2009 6:20:05 PM
Is he a workaholic? Everyone has some kind of vice, but not everyone is open about theirs.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 1364 (view)

Calgary Sunday breakfast Posted: 10/24/2009 6:17:19 PM
there are enough restaurants around town that we can keep changing them, without the fear of being locked out from the one previous.. Are you nomads up there in Edmonton? Down here we keep going to the same place that it almost feels like "Cheers" in a sense.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Calgary - PoF Christmas Dance Posted: 10/24/2009 2:26:45 PM
No holiday songs? Like "Jingle Bells" or "Frosty the Snowman"? I don't know who performed some of those classic songs as I just remember hearing them on the radio from time to time...

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do we still shake hands ? Posted: 10/24/2009 12:47:42 PM
Not unless I was meeting a bunch of Japanese people. Handshakes form a physical connection and aren't questionable in terms of who it is directed at unlike a bow which may or may not be obvious as to who is greeting whom.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

I ran after 2 nights ,,help Posted: 10/24/2009 12:06:41 PM
You need to discuss about how you want good-byes to happen as really that seems to be the sore spot here. Ask him why he didn't leave a note when he went to his sister's to do some work and what kind of note he expected from you on the second night. You need to talk about this and how you'd like this to be handled or else it is just going to be a bad train wreck where minor misunderstandings get blown out of proportion.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Calgary - PoF Christmas Dance Posted: 10/24/2009 12:02:55 PM
So does that mean you'll be up for some pool that night, mad-cow? Just wondering who would are the pool players that night...

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Honesty Rules: when its good to be honest? Posted: 10/23/2009 7:40:17 PM
Talk to him and see what he wants and if he wants the same things as you then great and if not, isn't it better to find this out now rather than beat around the bush a while and later on discover that it had no chance?

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Why would he ask if he didn't mean it? Posted: 10/22/2009 1:09:48 PM
You don't know what his girlfriend that he broke up with did to try to patch things up so he would give her another chance, do you? I'm sorry you got hurt, but you should also acknowledge that it is his choice as to who he wants to be with and if that has to be someone that has cheated on him, that is his choice.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 1351 (view)

Calgary Sunday breakfast Posted: 10/21/2009 5:34:56 PM
Anyone else already looking forward to the next breakie? Just asking.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Has anyone ever asked you if you were gay? Posted: 10/20/2009 8:57:48 AM
There were news stories about women's fertility going down once they pass 30,e.g. http://www.babycenter.ca/preconception/activelytrying/ageandfertility/ for some more information should you not be aware of this work. Thus, as each year reduces the probability of being able to conceive this is why some have the view of a 'female biological clock.' I'm not saying it is right, just that I understand the line of thought that brings one to those conclusions. Another thought is the question of how many other women do you know that are over 30 and not in a relationship and not wanting to be set up? I do want to congratulate you on sticking with your principles in turning down people that want to set you up and asserting what you want in life. There have been times where someone in my family wasn't in relationships and I did ask if they were gay and usually got an answer of no or I don't know as some people are good at keeping some things private.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

Where do Ya meet people when you don't drink , or hang in bars? Posted: 10/20/2009 8:49:45 AM
I'd second the mutual interest suggestion. Another thought is to consider support groups where there may be a couple of benefits, one is meeting some people and the other is getting some help and support on a problem. Generally these can be for those in some form of recovery like AA or cancer survivors and sometimes family members affected are welcome into the group so if your sibling or parent died from something there may be some help there in working through the grieving process. As someone that can't drink due to some of my medications, can't really dance because of my foot problem, as well as having a couple of other health issues like diabetes, I'm probably in a rare case here but I do meet some people going out to play Euchre once in a while.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 36 (view)

PoF thanks for the great times! Posted: 10/19/2009 7:52:25 PM
What happened in Red Deer stays in Red Deer!

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

do you want a country girl or not?? Posted: 10/19/2009 3:47:30 PM
You might want to consider posting over in Profile Reviews as perhaps there are suggestions to fix that. Some guys may be picky about what they want. Don't forget you can't be all things to all guys.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 77 (view)

Too poor to date? Posted: 10/19/2009 3:11:25 PM
My newest running shoes, not including the custom orthotic inserts, were freaking expensive! I have a custom orthotic in the one shoe I wear and yeah the price can be scary. Of course, we do what we have to do for our health, right?

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What is wrong with my Windows Mail? Posted: 10/18/2009 4:10:25 PM
Are you sure that the e-mails are coming off of the server? That would be one suggestion to investigate as there should be a check box somewhere to indicate if you are leaving the mail on the server or not.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Late career starters Posted: 10/18/2009 4:09:09 PM
Volunteer work isn't out of line, but I'm not sure that everywhere will see it as experience that counts. There is the question of what you are doing for those 3-5 years before being in a full-fledged project management. I don't think it is out of line but while there are many paths to getting there, there are likely just as many if not more of people wanting to get there but ending up somewhere else entirely. There are many different kinds of project management, at least to my mind. Are you thinking about software development projects, systems integration projects, or something else? This is somewhat of a high level view but I've been a web developer long enough to know some traits of good project managers.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 43 (view)

Too poor to date? Posted: 10/18/2009 3:43:53 PM
Did my questions get lost in the shuffle here? Maybe they did, but I do think it is worth asking if you did stop some of the things you do would your dating life suffer? I don't know, but I think the question is worth asking. Could my perfect match be wearing the high heels and skirt just as easily as jeans and a t-shirt? Sure, I don't see why not. Would I think differently upon seeing each? Yes, but there are ways that either could be explained away as something nice or not so nice really as with so little information it isn't easy to skew the result either way, IMO. Just in case one wants some more details on how to make the former work and the latter not work, here are a handful of other details to add to each. If a woman in high heels and a skirt came up to me and was polite and nice in talking to me, why shouldn't I want to explore a relationship there? In contrast, if a woman in jeans and a t-shirt was loud and violent when things didn't go her way, that would be a major turn off for me. Part of life is being mature enough to handle that not everything will go smoothly or at least that is my opinion. While I can understand the initial question, my answer is that this boils down a bit to social classes in a sense. I can imagine some people who would never want to go to McDonald's while others may not see it as such a bad thing. Myself, I don't think it would be at the top of my, "This is a great place to take a date," but if someone else wanted to meet there, I'd be fine with it. Does that make me white trailer trash? I don't think so, but would like another opinion or two, please.

jbking2

Joined: 1/22/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

A question for people in their 30's. Posted: 10/17/2009 10:39:00 PM
Have you tried finding support groups for your health issues? Granted that I don't know what issues you have but for some things there are groups that may help in getting out there some. I'm thinking if the issues are things like cancer, depression/anxiety, or other conditions that may be common enough for there to be such groups. Meetup.com is a good idea for where to go and try to find groups to help build up your network. There are likely 4 ways that you'll meet someone: 1) Friends and family along with their friends and family. While you mention that you don't have many friends, you don't mention family at all. 2) Neighbors and other people that live near you. In my own case this would be people I see in the elevator or getting their mail or sorting recyclables for a few places where I may run into someone and have some smalltalk. 3) Co-workers and other people where you work. This may or may not work but it is where some relationships start. 4) Group settings where people meet for various reasons. This may be seen as a bit of a catch-all and in a way it is. This is those groups that if there is a weekly bowling or playing cards kind of club those are another way to meet people. You could look at groups that are like self-help or life coaching groups for another idea of where you could find people. While I haven't had dates off of this site, I have gotten into a few social clubs which does help with some of my anxiety/depression issues in terms of facing fears and getting past them. Do I enjoy what I have gotten from being here the past 9 months? Yes. Is it what I initially thought I'd find? Not really, but sometimes life will work things out better than what one initially expected. As a parting thought, consider this idea: Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.

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