havng piercing and dressing like a teenager in your forties, is that ok? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: havng piercing and dressing like a teenager in your forties, is that ok?

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 75 (view)

havng piercing and dressing like a teenager in your forties, is that ok? Posted: 6/4/2007 8:16:37 PM
I totally agree with ladyridercj! I was reading this and rather disturbed by everyone's attitudes. I really balk at being told how I am supposed to dress because of my age, like I am supposed to dress like a matron because I am 40? And I balked at this posting as if it were me! What is the meaning of this? I sometimes enjoy wearing the latest styles. They look good and feel good. We should all dress how we feel!!! And it has nothing to do with reclaiming youth. It's about feeling good in your skin and clothes and maybe even tattoos and piercings! Try not to be so judgemental.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

I hope someone can help me... Posted: 1/5/2007 5:01:16 AM
Tell it like it is. Be very clear. She is NOT too young. She probably already knows a lot if it was like that. Explain that you don't want to put him down, but his behavior must be addressed, so that she can, with luck, not find herself in the same situation someday (as often happens with children in such situations). Hold on, let me be clearer: in abuse it is important to tell it like it is, don't sugar coat it. You give your daughter a very clear message that some behaviors are completely unacceptable. If you do not give her this and she witnessed or experienced abuse, she will be understandably very confused. It is hard to understand how someone can love and hurt the one they love. Leaving her to figure it out for herself means she will likely gorow up confused with the mistaken understanding that hurting the one we "love" is okay, and frankly, this is Not love! I can't believe nobody has given this advice yet. It is true that in general we should not say anything negative about our exes to their children, but abuse is an exception! You can and should talk about that very clearly and matter-of-factly, especially if you were scared for your life, and otherwise you need not say anything bad about her dad. And yes, counseling for her and for you is highly recommended.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

When does like turn into love? Posted: 9/8/2006 4:04:26 PM
When the one you like leaves!!! Suddenly she/he is gone and you can think of nothing else!!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

At least 90% of all U.S. women Posted: 8/29/2006 2:24:50 PM
]At least 90% of all U.S. women have at one time or another intimately teased a member of the opposite sex by either their words or their actions, so if once in a while they get their hearts stomped on in my opinion it is just reward. That is incredibly nasty!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Women Over 40: Ending Relationships Posted: 6/26/2006 8:32:13 PM
I find your question interesting and also wish there were some more interesting responses. Are they single women over forty, never had kids, never married? Or all women over forty? just what trend do you see? Clarify, and I may be able to shed some real light.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 318 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 6/22/2006 4:43:09 PM
No, not really. I've met a lot of men, but none good. I have only been fooled into thinking any of them were any good. I'm finished with men.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Life, Love and death Posted: 6/13/2006 4:34:44 AM
Thanks for this beautiful post! My heart goes with you!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Death by suicide Posted: 6/12/2006 8:32:29 PM
I agree with mimosa. It is not a mental illness, and there should be no stigma, only compassion. Someone could not take the pain of life anymore. Yes, we need to be there for people, and help ease their suffering while they are here, to prevent such things. I hate it when people speak so badly of those who have taken their own lives, like there was somehting wrong with them to do that. Not necessarily.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

please tell me if you think i am doing the right thing... Posted: 5/22/2006 4:29:16 AM
Bravo to you! Of course you did the right thing!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 186 (view)

this is for all of us who hurt inside, please read and respond! Posted: 5/22/2006 4:09:21 AM
You are not weak. You are human. It is better to be single than to be stuck in a rut with someone. It is a great thing to remember seriously when very lonely. But loneliness is natural. Human beings are social creatures, and of course you want someone to be with. Keep praying!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

going over to guy's place uninvited... Posted: 5/21/2006 9:08:09 PM
it seems to me that most of the negatives are people who are all about me me me me me me.. not someone i'd like to date anyway... i wonder how many of them have on their profile that they are spontaneous... i wouldn't want to be the delivery guy with the enexpected flowers that i send to any of these women I haven't replied to any of these in a while, but this one really asked for it. I haven't read eveything, but I have read enough. I have to agree with Pickem, and I was very glad to see his response there. I mean, reason tells me not to do such a thing, but I am really a drop in kind of person, and a very spontaneous person. I drop in on my friends and I like them to drop in on me, anytime, for any reason. My friends are always welcome! However, in the age of the cell phone, calling is very easy to do first. And someone I am dating? Depends. Just dating, he probably won't even know where I live! If we are having sex, to me that's more than dating, and more than friends, and he's welcome anytime and I should be too. I dont' know, this seems like it should be common sense to me, but apparently it is very uncommon sense, as most disagree. But it seems to me that most these days have a really warped sense of intimacy, privacy, and space!!! If you want or need your privacy and space, then you should not be intimate enough to have sex! And if you're that intimate, "popping in" should be no problem. I pretty much ended a relationship this way. I knew that I might be doing such, but it was all for the best! According to my principles, as stated above, it really shouldn't be a problem. But I know it is for most, a big no-no. So, I called first. I live an hour away and was in his neighborhood, so stopping by was a really good idea. No need to be a bother. I'd stop in just for a quick "hi". It seemed ridiculous to just tell him later that I'd been in his neighborhood and hadn't stopped by. I would personally be offended if a friend or lover was in my neighborhood and didnt' stop by. No answer to my calls. So, I just showed up. Yes, I was afraid he could be there with someone else! Yes, he'd gotten my calls, but he hadn't been ready to call me back yet! I stayed for under 15 minutes, so as not to bother him too much- really just wanted to stop in and say hello, as we lived far enough from each other that we didn't see each other very often. He was clearly bothered, so we had to talk about it later. Talking about it later resulted in a conversation we should have had earlier: he was just playing and wasn't interested in anything serious with me. That was the beginning of the end. My point is this. People who are bothered by someone dropping by, are often playing games or hiding something. This guy was playing games, and trying to hide that. Dropping in on him forced the issue so that I could stop being strung along and I could move on, a good thing. It seems like a bad thing, but it is not. It is a very telling thing. If someone is not happy to see you when you happen to be in their neighborhood, quite likely you shouldn't be with them. It's a great test.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

is it just me or,are others exhausted in this singles quest? Posted: 5/1/2006 8:09:21 PM
I'm so tired, i've deleted most of my profiles (was doing various sites and having a ball at one point), and I'm surprised I am here to say this now. I am hardly online anymore, and figure I am about finished with dating and all that it entails... Time to just move on with the rest of my life.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Someone PLZ help..... Posted: 4/7/2006 5:33:10 AM
Leave him and don't give in to him!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Have I got a problem Posted: 4/1/2006 4:12:16 PM
Don't be embarrassed. It's a good thing.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 181 (view)

Would a man seriously date a woman with three kids Posted: 3/22/2006 11:45:01 AM
i knew I could find something here to relate to my situation. I am 38, have been divorced two years, and have 3 children. Dating for the past two years has shown me that men are petrified of me as the mother of three children. So, no, nobody has taken me seriously. I just had another one leave. This one told me the three kids had a lot to do with it. The others didn't tell me. They just ran, and fast. But I knew. I feel doomed, and it sucks because the marriage was sh** anyway, and though the children are wonderful, I only have half children, sometimes it seems...

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Godless Liberal + Christian Conservative = ? Posted: 3/22/2006 11:38:31 AM
Stay away from her!!! Leave her alone! Your friend who brought his gf over to atheism did a bad thing! The worst relationships I have ever seen or experienced have been with god/no god in them.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

opting for celibacy... say it isn't so! Posted: 3/18/2006 8:18:37 PM
I have known other people in this same situation (high sex drives, too many short-terms), and celibacy is a good way to go, IMHO. But, it really only works if you stay away from all that excites you. yes, this means no masturbation (or only when you really break down). But the longer you go without, the easier it is to be without and the less desire you have for masturbation. From the perspective of celibacy, you will find that you will make better choices about who you are with, as in, it will be easier to not be wooed by someone because you want to have sex with them and you "just can't help it".

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Calling within 24 hours Posted: 3/15/2006 5:59:12 PM
Okay,now I've read these posts a little more. I've been having a lot of trouble with this calling/not calling thing. Airtight--- you say if you are the one more interested, you should be the one calling. That's me. I go after what I want. Everyone tells me not to. Slowly I am learning. Sigh! Learning that it is true he doesn't like you, or like you enough if he is not calling like that, or that he doesn't have you on his mind. And Airtight, maybe a woman doesn't want (or sure shouldn't) want some guy who isn't interested enough in her. He will not be nice enough to her, most likely, and really honor her as she should be honored! So, I was dating this guy, and I had an issue with him for not calling. So, I called him. Fine. No problem. The more I got to know him, the less he answered my calls. I told him this bothered me, especially that he didn't call after a date for days. i never knew if I would ever see him again, or if I had done something to bother him. So, he returned my calls after I told him it bothered me so much that he didn't. One day I knew I was going to be unexpectedly in his neighborhood (I live an hour away), so I thought I'd stop by. He didn't answer my call. I didn't want to just show up on him as we weren't that serious with each other - just dating. So, i called him more as I headed over to stop by. No answer. So, i was kind of nervous when I did just show up. I didn't want him to think I would just show up on him whenever I felt like it. And I think he was a bit put off (very surprising to see me just showing up at his door when I live an hour away). So I said, "Well, I didn't want to just show up like this, so I called about ten thousand times... I actually just happened to be in your neighborhood..." So, he says, yeah, "I saw you had called... I thought I would call you back in a few hours..." My point? It was shown very clearly how little this guy I'd been dating wanted to talk to me, not calling, how little interest he actually had. I didn't stay long. I hadn't intended to, didn't have the time, even if he did like my surprise visit. I was really just in the neighborhood and thought I could stop and say hi, in person. All I wondered afterwards is why he was still dating me anyway, if he was so disinterested! Gee, I've done that too, if not particularly interested in someone, I can and do wait days before I think of calling them, or even calling them back. It's always, hmmm, I'm busy, I don't quite feel like talking to them just now, and next thing I know, maybe days have gone by! And if I am disinterested enough to let this happen, i dont' continue dating someone. So, if you are really interested, you will want to call within twenty four hours!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

Calling within 24 hours Posted: 3/15/2006 5:29:28 PM
Definitely call within twenty four hours!!! Not calling until time for another date indicates a clear lack of interest! She feels that. And she feels great if he calls to say he had a good time, because she will wonder...

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

Does Posting In The Forums Help Or Hinder Your Quest? Posted: 3/12/2006 8:37:34 PM
People check mine all the time, and I am usually embarrassed. I am sure the thigns I say hurt me here, but well, that's okay.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 190 (view)

Men.. Do you have to have the chase? Posted: 3/9/2006 4:51:31 PM
Filmscorpio-- I love your post on this subject! Thank you. I have gotten so tired of hearing about this book. People keep telling me to read it, and i have thus far refused. It's that "he's not THAT into you, part, that is difficult. Theya re usually into me, but not that much, apparently. And that is where all the wondering comes in. But in any case it would seem, nobody is ever That into me but those I am not into at all. So, whatever, I don't want that shoved in my face all the time and to me it doesn't mean i should "dump" them, leave them alone, because that would just mean i would be that much more alone (something that perhaps POFers prefer?). So, i'd been wondering about this guy i have been seeing, wondering if i should be seeing him, and I kept getti ng this "He's not that into you. Move on." Right and left I was told this. But we were good together. Then a week went by without a call or call back. he'd finally gotten me. I was ready to move on. When we saw each other next, I told him so. We were both sad. He hadn't called because he was feeling down and not like talking to anyone. A perfectly good excuse. I understand. yeah, I know, I've heard about that, how we make excuses for them! I know that if he were That into me, he would have called anyway. Knowing him, it all made sense, he's going through stuff right now, and as he then put it, not really ready and available for "anything serious". Of course, what does this really mean? He's not That into me! I know. There we have it. From his mouth. I mean, I understand, he is not emotionally available right now, working through his own issues, but I am rather sure, if someone came along that he was Really into, he'd be calling her anyway. That said, I have found, with every guy who wasn't that into me and I chased, when I got tired of chasing, got the message for good, and went away for real, there they were! Every one of them. I am on my way out with this one, too, and no doubt he will be calling me when i am no longer interested, just like the others. This sounds like that problem with the "chase" game that filmscorpio was talking about. I chase, let them know i am interested, they never seem interested enough, so I go away, and then there they are but they blew it! no games here. If i'm interested I can't not call. If i stop calling, I've made that mental shift and am no longer interested in that which is apparently not interested enough in me. More on topic, if a guy lives far away and you havent' heard from him in four days, it's really not a long time, and I don't think it means he is not interested. Really, people have different ways and degrees for showing that they are interested. Some are natural cat and mousers. Some like to play that game. Some are direct. Some like to talk on the phone all the time. Some really prefer more space.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 103 (view)

How good mother's lose custody todays? Posted: 3/9/2006 8:07:24 AM
It is the leaning of all court systems today. It is the fact that the dads have more money for the legal battle. It is because they fight for them. It is because there are lots of women in those court systems today, and they are big time career women,and can not see that there is anything better about being home with your young children. These are the reasons I figured out. Not getting custody and knowing he should not have it, kept me in my marriage for ten years too long! I tried to divorce and he threatened that he would get custody because he would have the best lawyer in the state, and everytime he was right. But I wouldn't leave my children when they were too young, so I always went back to him. The sad part is that the courts always claim to work in the best interests of the children, but they really aren't. No, it is not always best for the kids to be with their mom. Both parents being good parents joint custody is best, but if they are both good parents custody isn't suchan issue!!! So, having tried and failed four times, in different states and countries,and having researched it, I know that it happens a lot today- good mothers losing custody! I did get joint custody, joint physical too, and it is everything I thought it would be. They were mostly concerned about his retribution if he didn't get joint custody!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Am I making things complicated? Posted: 3/9/2006 7:51:08 AM
This is far too long a post. But I wanted to reply :-) Yes, I think your view is too set and too much! You need to just work on you, and be whole and not really have a void. Only whole people, who love themselves can really love another.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

Do women really want to hear the truth?!?!?! Posted: 3/9/2006 7:41:10 AM
What I am surprised with is that she had this problem with you after you became intimate. If this is a concern, she shouldn't have sex with you until she is comfortable, and you both knowthat this will be very meaningful. And otherwise, you should probably re-evaluate your ways!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

need advice ASAP Posted: 3/9/2006 6:59:54 AM
Be yourself. But also be patient and go with it, slowly. Wait for that second date. Wait for him to call you. and savour every moment together.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Ladies, please help me Posted: 3/9/2006 6:56:31 AM
Calling me, showing he cares and he is thinking about me!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Is it possible to win a girl over ? Posted: 3/9/2006 6:41:49 AM
Yes, it is possible, but rare, and never a good thing. It happens only if she foolishly thinks that attraction doesn't matter. It matters very much! If she's not attracted to you, you need to leave her alone and move on. It is a different story if she is attracted to you but not interested in you for some other reason.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

dilemma - what would you do? Posted: 3/9/2006 6:01:34 AM
That has nothing to do with your relationship with your partner, and I can't believe you would even consider moving on due to her past, having nothing to do with the two of you!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

desperate and lonley Posted: 3/8/2006 7:16:00 PM
I think the only thing wrong with her is that she is pregnant! It can really change a woman!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Why don't quality women go to clubs? Posted: 3/8/2006 11:37:16 AM
i know lots of quality women who go to clubs, some quality men too...

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

P.D.A. Posted: 3/8/2006 11:31:14 AM
I hate public displays of affection, because i don't think they can ever be natural, but rather are all about the show! So, it seems like fake affection, put on for others to see...

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 67 (view)

Tramp Tags, is what they have been called Posted: 3/7/2006 6:17:33 PM
This is funny... I don't like tattoos, but if i like them on the lower back so much, that I have seriously considered getting one there. I think they are so hot!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Advice Posted: 3/7/2006 6:09:57 PM
Sorry but if she has never met him, it sounds really crazy that her parents woudl agree to the engagement. You are right. It sounds like he is very bad news and she should have nothing to do with him. But, in situations like that, one never can get her to listen. Nothing saying you shouldn't at least try though. Give it your best!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Does a kiss have significance on a first date? Posted: 3/7/2006 5:44:46 PM
Yes, of course! Kissing on a first date has a lot of significance. If I kiss a guy on a first date it means i really like him and want to see him again! But, for the most part, I don't kiss a guy on a first date! And it is usually a small kiss, hesitant kinda deal...

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Just dating Posted: 3/7/2006 5:41:32 PM
Depends on you and how you feel. But I would firmly recommend not having sex with the different people you are dating at once! This makes a player!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

integrity and dating sites..... Posted: 3/7/2006 5:13:51 PM
LOL! Once again, good call Frangal! Yeah, I'd put it at 1%, if that! A person with real integrity is very hard to find!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 100 (view)

men, this ones for you... what would you do if you met a woman who....... Posted: 3/7/2006 4:34:25 PM
what she finds is.... the typical man is not as secure as he thinks. I love this thread, because I haven't seen a single guy say it would bother him, but I've seen it bother many!!! In my experience guys are uncomfortable if a woman seems to have it more together than him! I think a guy wants to be able to provide for his woman on some level, and if he sees that she already provides for more than he can, he feels uncomfortable!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Impotency epidemic …it’s NOT f***ing funny! Posted: 3/6/2006 6:33:45 PM
Poor nutrition which is rampant in today's society!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Not attracted - what should I do? Posted: 3/6/2006 3:36:13 AM
This is why I don't talk/chat long without a photo. I ask for one immediately and if they dont' have one to offer, i don't keep chatting. I also like to meet right away, because no matter how many pics you see, the moment you meet them in real life will determine everything chemistry and attraction-wise. As for what you should do now? You should not continue to lead her on. Either ease up on the interaction gently, or tell her that from her pic it doesn't look like she is your type, or something like that. Or, you should arrange a meeting, as that ultimately determines attraction anyway, and that would make a great place for, "I like you but..."

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

finding someone Posted: 3/5/2006 5:20:38 AM
Uhhhh! We all are! Hello! It is not easy for anyone to find someone who is right for them.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

This makes me nervous.. Posted: 3/4/2006 2:45:03 PM
Sounds like you did exactlythe right thing!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Women should pay. Posted: 3/4/2006 9:07:49 AM
But this topic has been done to death in other variations! So much so that i can't even touch the topic again! But okay, you sucked me in! If money is not an issue for you is why you should pay! Money is not an issue for me either. But if a guy wants me to pay that tells me that it is an issue for him. When I go out with someone, I need to know that it isn't an issue for him, and that he is not out to take advantage of me. Also, it's a matter of respect for a guy to not make an issue of money at all, and just cover a date. And, the woman puts a lot of money into looking, smelling, and feeling great for a date, he understanding and respecting this, honors her. My opinion, and I've had my share of exerience to back it up!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

Can anyone tell me why I shoud keep trying?? Posted: 3/4/2006 8:34:48 AM
Thanks Knight in black for sharing that! It's really wonderful.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

breaking up..... different strokes Posted: 3/3/2006 11:14:37 AM
I like to go out and get wild and work, anything to take my mind off of it.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

What is the deal? Posted: 3/3/2006 11:12:57 AM
Hello! "Genious", huh?

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

What constitutes as dating? Posted: 3/3/2006 11:09:11 AM
What is your idea of dating? I am curious. Everyone seems to have a different idea and I don't much know either. I also thought it was just going on dates. But apparently there is this other thing where two people are exclusively dating each other. Sounds like this guy is referring to this maybe. So, again, what is your idea of dating? What are your expectations of him? Are you having sex with him (that willl make a difference)? Do you think you should be talking daily, weekly, or just when you want to get together? Are you not looking for anything longer term by dating? Or do you just want to keep it casual,as in just doing things together?

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Can anyone tell me why I shoud keep trying?? Posted: 3/3/2006 9:33:05 AM
Anenigma-- I really appreciate your post. It sounds very familiar. I could have written the same things. I also often feel like giving up. I do meet men everywhere, not just online, and well, yes, there is always something wrong with them or the connection. It's been about three years for me also, and while I've met many men, I can't even say I've had a boyfriend or a relationship in three years. I understand completely. It is not desperation. It is simply a human need for closeness with someone. It is only human. We are social beings. We are not meant to be alone. I think the problem is our society today, and so many people (I think, more than ever) just can't really connect with people right. The real bottom line is: do give up, and don't give up, all at once. That means, don't try so hard, because it is not your effort that is going to do it. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Who knows where? Be open to the happening, open to meeting people, but dont' think that anything you do (as in trying to meet people etc.) will make it happen.

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

How do you respond? Posted: 3/3/2006 8:25:11 AM
Hope they don't recognize you (hopefully you don't have pic posted, so that can't happen), tell them you are not interested, and move on!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

I know a guy... Posted: 3/3/2006 8:24:06 AM
It was wrong for him to be asked to resign! As for being on a dating site? This is a good reason to Not have a picture posted... protects anonymity!

genngi

Joined: 12/20/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Have you ever been second choice to anyone you liked? Posted: 3/3/2006 8:17:38 AM
Yes, I was having this thing with this guy and I liked him a lot, and i thought it was mutual. One day he said, "I met someone." I thought, "What? Am I not someone? What does that mean?!" He liked someone better than me...

Show ALL Forums