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 Author Thread: he likes you he likes you not
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 12:05:40 AM
Dating and getting to know one another can be
a bit tricky, can't it, Elisabeth? :)
One thing I really like about men is their pragmatic
approach to things. Take his words at face value, and
don't take it personally .
It is always best to be authentic- with our words, actions, etc.
If we don't allow ourselves the honesty of knowing
that we aren't with the person who gives us joy, then we
cannot open our hearts and minds to the one
who does.
All the best
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
what advise i give my friend
Posted: 11/19/2009 12:01:33 PM
Basic Relationship "workings"/ communication:

*if he only wants to tell her/ share things on a need-to-know basis (and gets ticked at anything else)- this is exhibiting control- total points earned: 0


*if he is being defensive (and exhibiting that thru anger/ turning it around on her)-
that's fear-based behavior- total points earned- 0

total points- 0....
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What exactly does no Games and no Drama mean?
Posted: 11/16/2009 1:38:35 PM
This is interpreted differently by each of us- male
and female alike.
It may be a defensive measure or it may mean
that they will not place interest in anyone who
employs mind- games as standard MO. Mind
games= control, defensive measures, etc.
I tend to see those broad statements as a defensive
measure of the one who posts it. They may tend to attract
people of that nature, yet not have an awareness
yet as to why, so they place this statement in
their profile thinking it will steer the mind- playing ,
dramatic people away....
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
are having kids a must
Posted: 11/15/2009 3:06:51 PM
It is important to honor what you truly
want in life. Finding someone who wants the same
major things in a relationship is of ultra importance,
as you have learned from the past.
I consider the important things to be common
values and goals; common 'wants' and needs;
similar emotional, physical and mental
wants and needs. Family, including having children
together involves all of these, IMO.
We always know the answers to our questions, OP.
Yours lies in knowing that you simply want children.
All the best.
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
should i or shouldnt i????????????
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:02:31 PM
IMO it's best to sever all contact if you are still this
affected by her 3 months later. I suggest having
a friend pick the items up or asking if she is
good donating them on your behalf etc
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Are the forums the point of no return for all eternity?
Posted: 11/12/2009 2:16:50 PM
I look at the forums as a place for the exchange of ideas, suggestions, socializing and
networking a bit.
My thoughts on your question mirror those of Sassy Sky's.
How better to gain insight into what someone is really like but in reading their posts?
How better to gauge if someone has the common need to articulate, share, inteject thoughts, etc. than to see if they they post in the forums when you find a profile that interests you?
How better to make friends with similar ideals, ideas and intellect?
Just a few thoughts~

Therefore, why would you want to invalidate who you are simply by what someone else's response may be to your posts?
It has no bearing on you. You are only responsible for you. No worries.
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Influential Visual Artist
Posted: 11/9/2009 6:32:27 PM
I am a visual artist but my thoughts on this at
the moment are of I M Pei, who I would consider
as a great visual artist thru his simplistic yet modern
forms and design. Millions have been influenced by his architecture
on a daily basis. I also selected him since he is in the current day.
His architecture will influence others, as well as simply
offer them a place of enjoyment, for centuries to
come.
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How to make a girl feel special?
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:27:58 PM
As a country girl, I'd like to offer that you hit
the nail on the head when you suggested that
country folks have an ingrained loyalty etc when
it comes to relationships, but, first things first.
Look for someone like-minded (code for raised
with the same country values), and, more importantly ,
someone like-hearted. The rest will often work itself out if
you are both authentic and communicate openly
and well.
There is no secret as far as making someone
feel special other than just doing it thru truly knowing
them, truly hearingthem, and truly honoring
all about them- and vice versa.
I suggest being open about all that you conveyed
in your post by placing it in your profile and
in your emails to those you communicate with
in regard to dating. All the best.
 Artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
**OK LADIES** TELL ME WHATS UP??
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:14:19 AM
Ask her what her intentions are with dating if
she is not looking for a relationship.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Criteria-based matches vs. Personality-based matches?
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:53:53 PM

I just hit the "online" feature, and then click "my city" and peruse for fun.
I've found most of what people write in their profiles to be rather generic and meaningless.

I don't look at the tests etc-

If I find anyone of interest, I read their profile and get a sense of what they are like a bit, and what they are looking for, what their interests are, etc.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Cosmetics Websites
Posted: 8/23/2009 4:00:50 PM

1) What's a good name for such a website? Should be short (no more than 8 letters)

2) Would you actually buy make-up online? And how about perfume and skincare?

3) Do you use a similar website already? If so, what one? What do you like/dislike about it?

4) What are the "must have" brands that I need to sell?

Many thanks. Special discount to all useful replies.

James.


FYI, I should think that you would welcome basic feedback from women, the consumer of your proposed business products. I touch on this, and also plan to answer your questions, because I only buy very good quality brands, and mostly natural skin care and makeup. So, if Sephora and Ulta are the top dogs- basically duplicate the main sellers there if it is not a compact agreement with larger companies such as Sephora and Ulta. Toss in a few other tried and true lines that they do not offer.

Go to a mix of major stores in different price points and ask the cosmetics people what the major sellers are- you are limited to 20 answers here--
You should also be able to do an online search for the most popular and credible brands.

1) I have a lot of ideas, but don't you want to own the concept and name? You can do it.

2)I would buy health and beauty products online if I had seen them in a store and had used them and I was replenishing that supply, and if I had no issues with shipping of product --and the product, of course is credible.

3) I have not ordered any beauty products online- just name brand health products.

4) Again, you will find what moves on Sephora and Ulta, for the most part.
The natural skin care and beauty products that I use are Aveda (a top seller), Eccobella, and others carried at places like Whole Foods Market.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
September 26: Electric Cowboy in Fort Worth, Texas
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:09:57 PM
Jeremy, that's just what he means by I candy- he means for him , lol
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
September 26: Electric Cowboy in Fort Worth, Texas
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:45:43 PM
MIDNIGHTMIKE: Yes, there was a good crowd there- the placed was packed.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Initial conversation: How many men have you met when you initiated the first move?
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:39:37 AM
I don't make assumptions, so am I to understand that you are emailing women and are getting no response, or that you are getting responses and it just hasn't gotten to the point where you meet? Have you met women who made first contact with you?

I usually write to men in the forums or to comment on their profile- very few have shown prolonged interest if I contact them. I used to contact more men, but experienced the same thing that you are. Now, I might contact a handful every month or so, for the above reasons.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Meet for coffee... AGAIN?!?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:37:07 AM
Coffee shops suck be cause they aren't a first DATE (date being the cognitive word here....).
If we are attracted to someone and have had some good conversation by phone and web cam, let's go on a d-a-t-e. These guys said it well, IMO , and sound like f-u-n:


These seperate first date ideas all seemed to work out well enough for me...


Pick one of those cute little restaurants that looks like a dining car.
Try one of those restaurants that have outdoor seating.
Meet in a park for a chat in the sun, or strap on your blades and see how many times she runs into you to break her fall.
Take her for a hike.
Meet in a mexican/american restaurant, split an order of Nachos and cokes.
Try the sampler at Chilis or Applebees.
If she's a sports fan, meet in a sports bar for snacks and watch the local game.
Rent or buy a great DVD, ask her to bring the popcorn.
Cook her something special for dinner.
Take her to the top of a hill, sit and watch the sunset together.
Have her meet you to hear some great jazz or rock!
Take her to McDonalds for an ice cream cone or happy meal (depending on her age)

And the every-ready wit of DemonDingleBerry:


You could just bring your own glass of something.
If you showed up with a gin and tonic in a tall glass with an umbrella I'm sure she'd be all over you.



You could make some little cupcakes and some milk and eat those in front of her saying "I paid the same amount for all this as your coffee...mmmm mmmm.



[You could sit with a thermos somewhere and play GPS coordinate games./quote]

What's not to like?
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
what are the 10 top thing that atteract you to a guy.
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:26:50 AM
*Sensual / Sexual

*Integrity- loyalty, honesty, character, etc.

*Cares for himself and for others (health-wise, etc.)

*Compassionate

*Stable (emotionally, physically, mentally)

*Fun

*Intelligent

*Positive--good outlook on life--similar goals and interests

*Communicates openly and effectively

*Family-Oriented/ Close to family and friends

*Non-judgmental/ Non-critical/ Has the ability (or desire) to love unconditionally
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do guys say what they dont mean?
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:40:39 PM
First let me start by saying that I believe there is someone for everyone, OP.

I believe that the most attractive quality that a man or woman can have is confidence, and you are lacking this regarding your looks., as you have stated. I believe that you look quite nice, OP, you just need a boost of confidence.

I only see this one photo of you- put your best foot forward on your photos and perhaps let your hair down and put on your favorite outfit and have a friend take a photo or two and post them.

As far as men are concerned, yes, they will be drawn to a photo first and foremost, as they have stated for the most part, but the ones who are attracted to you, and they will be, will also be drawn toyour qualities. hang in there, OP, and have a girl's nite with a friend or two and experiment with makeup and hair, etc and find a style that is flattering to you that you like and boost your confidence. I know it is always fun to ttry a new hair style, etc. Just be yourself and you will do fine.

OP, I peeked at your profile- you sound like a lot of fun. Definitely update your photo- by your own admission, this one is an older one from 2008. And add 4-5 photos to your profile. Hopefully you can posts at least a couple showing you involved in some of your favorite activities.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What is it about you guys
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:45:22 PM
I'm going to answer this with a question, asking why would someone in a committed relationship notice that they are being hit on or give it any creedence (sp)?
I find that when I am in a committed relationship that other men become "invisible" in that sense. My man-dar is cleaned and stored away on the furthest/ highest shelf.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Need some advise on a new relationship / thing
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:40:54 AM

I have always had a thing for this girl and always wondered what if.... Well a month ago we met up through a friend and we hit it off like Ive never felt before ended up sleeping together that night and things are moving along extremely fast. the sex is beyond amazing for both of us and I really like/care/love for her but heres the issue. She just got out of a bad relationship (6mths ago) and she is obviously (to me) been hurt quite bad and her Ex is being difficult and clingy. the common thing is she keeps saying she doesn't want a relationship but quite enjoys my company and she stays over almost every night, I understand where she's coming from because I was in a really F'ed up relationship prior to us to (1.5yrs ago) Im ready for anything just dont want to get hurt again and im trying to be cool about her feelings but she is slowly pulling away. Im totally cool letting her have space and what not but the last few times she goes out she calls me to come join in and wants to see me all of a sudden which is fine, just confusing. I want her to set the ground rules for this thing were doing but slowly shes pulling away. I also dont wanna scare her off with the way im feeling and ive been toning it down a bit to stay cool. I just dont wanna lose her shes the type that comes around only once and I really really dont wanna lose her, because im a inexpirienced relationship tool.

Im happy to do just about anything to keep her all the space and time she needs my only stipulation is that if we are sleeping together we dont sleep around. And if we meet someone else its known and theres no BS happening, even though im 99.9% sure there wont be someone else for me at least.

For the first time in my life i feel like im alive! and i dont wanna "F" this up so any advise would be fantastic.


I think that you share all of this with her and discuss it quite candidly. If she's pulling away, what can it hurt? I also hear you about honoring her need for space, but you need to honor what you want as well. I believe if two people care enough that there is ample space for both (needs).
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:35:47 AM
The only rules that exist in dating are the ones in your / our own mind(s).

To each his or her own.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 109 (view)
 
I think I get it.
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:50:23 AM
I wonder if the problem is that we do not communicate our desires enough?


I believe that the main issue is that people don't communicate effectively or well. I see this as being a choice to communicate openly, and most people who can't don't wish to- perhaps because they feel that they have made the effort in the past with negative results; perhaps it is casting blame for the erosion of the relationship on themselves; perhaps they do not want to make the effort to learn and to practice those skills- either reason is weak and demonstrates a lack of caring, IMO.


Do we allow too many outside influences to distract us from our relationships? How many times to you hear the old... "we grew apart" reasoning?
Hmmm...well, when I am in a relationship I place it in high regard and I am committed to it. Period. I believe others are largely experiencing a "drive-thru" mentality in dating with the advent of online dating---disposable relationships, as you coined it in your OP.
I also find it unfortunate that most people choose to practice herd mentality, i.e., the "meet and greet" that is sweeping the online dating wave. I say, incorporate/ uphold YOUR / MY ideas of dating and set aside the influx of crap that permeates these sites. A date is a date. Who cares if you don't "click"? Go have a good time.

As far as the "we grew apart" "reasoning"-- it takes two to tango, and both people should be committed to making it work. I'm a believer in two people talking through the big issues of a relationship and having joint agreements/ understandings as a result of those discussions- knowing where things stand, and simply enjoying the hell out of each other. Things will crop up from time to time, but you defer to the agreements, perhaps tweak them a bit , and carry on. I firmly believe that there are no "outs" in a committed relationship. You're in it for the long haul, aside from major dealbreakers (abuse, etc.). Life is way too short to live in bs or to not enjoy it fully, and to enjoy each other.


I wonder what it is we need to do (if anything) to keep a relationship viable and enjoyable for the long term. Is it possible that "long term" is just passe and we have come to the point where a LTR is in the neighbourhood of 2-3 years?
I addressed the bulk of this question in the above paragraph. I don't think that long term is passe. Long term is there for those who choose it--together.


I really am unclear where we are headed, but I can't help but think that we could be in trouble if we don't find ways to be healthy couples for extended periods.
Dare to be different. Live your life as you choose to, as you see fit. Screw the fact that so many others choose to toss a good relationship, or to choose to build upon a good one and make it great. Find what you are looking for and make it great, by choice, by design and by finding someone like-minded and like-hearted. Therein lies the challenge. ;)

IOW, there is no "we", as in the general public, determining "US"- there is only "US".

I feel that a relationship is about choices, and taking those choices to a high level, consistently. It is a choice to have counseling prior to fully going into a long term commitment; it is a choice to uphold each other to the highest standards of respect and to care enough to open up fully and honestly; it is a choice to have a really crappy day and yet put that in a drawer when you walk in and see your SO and give them a huge smile, a huge hug and a deep kiss, and lead them into the bedroom, etc.
Life is about choice.

I believe that huge part of a healthy and successful LT committed relationship is just that- it stems from a rock-solid commmitment. It is also a large factor to be a giver-to be selfless yet care for yourself as well. I feel strongly that two givers make a strong dynamic- very rich and powerful- inwardly, to each other.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
my ex-girlfriend.....
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:49:00 AM
Jumping through hoops = conditions= games

If you like to have conditions placed on a realtionship- go for it

I think that you may miss what you think you once had- JMO

Figuring out your past mistakes is great, but it doesn't change that relationship, except what you have created in your mind-JMO

I feel that we shouldn't ask what the other person is doing, but that we should look into our own hearts to see if we are truly in a good place.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 155 (view)
 
Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her?
Posted: 8/18/2009 8:26:23 PM

Right off the top of my head, I can't recall a woman ever making an attempt to be very creative in the foreplay department.
I actually find this sad/ unfortunate.
I find it incredible when two givers are together.

Foreplay can be very sensual, erotic, creative, stimulating- it should be all of the aforementioned. I think that there are times when one gives a bit more to the other,and there are times when I just want to give- times when he may want me to receive--but on the whole, I think it should be equal. This is why 69 exists. Best foreplay ever.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What is the deal?
Posted: 8/18/2009 7:59:19 PM
There are both decent men and women on pof. I have met some very nice men and hav also made good friends with some men and women on here.

As far as signs to avoid "these" women- it sound like you aren't getting to know them well enough before asking them out. Ask them the things you (or she) brought up on the date that revealed a negative past. There are basic things to ask to search for red flags. You just learned some of them. Proceed with caution and get to know someone a bit better. I exchange emails, talk on the phone and use web cam before I go out, as a general rule.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
September 26: Electric Cowboy in Fort Worth, Texas
Posted: 8/18/2009 7:29:05 PM
I just attended the last get together at the Electric Cowboy this past Saturday evening and had a great time. Danced the night away! The Sept. event should be good as well.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
weak or strong?
Posted: 8/18/2009 4:37:28 PM
I see it as a strength. Men who don't care what others think about his actions, and have honorable actions and intentions have strong qualities as the norm.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
When to ask her to meet up.
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:52:41 PM
It should be when you are both comfortable. Ask her if she would like to meet next week. If she does-great. If not, ask her if she would like to keep corresponding. I think asking her out helps you both get offline and take it into the real world.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Are Differences in Interests a Dealbreaker For You?
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:34:21 PM
I challenge the guy who can't find something fun to do with me! Wait a minute...oh, heck, you know what I mean, lol.
I think that you need at least core common interests or you will always be doing separate activities. Some people are good with that, others aren't. I don't think you are or you wouldn't have asked. :)
As for me, I want to share activities and quality time with someone, and I'm not talking about him holding the yarn while I crochet....lucky for me, I love the outdoors and have a variety of interests.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
advise and be sincere and upfront about it
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:04:02 PM
Personally, I wouldn't have allowed it to get to this point:


i have jsut been broken up with a gentleman whom has really done me badly.


If someone treats me poorly , I do not acknowledge it nor do I condone it- I simply end contact with them. I think you need to look into not only why you allowed this but why you continue to talk to him.

Your instincts were right the first time to just end it.

Advice? What LANDRA said.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
What do you miss
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:57:59 PM
Sex , companionship- a very close bond, a confidante who you share this bond with
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Venting - but would love some advice to ground me
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:48:12 PM
I hear you, and that's completely your decision. It's JMO that if you keep asking it sets the field for:

*asking repetitively in the future

*not establishing a clear-cut objective the first time- kind of like playing emotional
lacrosse

*you can establish that you care and are taking her feelings etc into consideration through telling her and by establishing clear expectaions with your friends in her regard, and in all of your actions toward her /with her

 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Venting - but would love some advice to ground me
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:24:15 PM
If you live with your GF...then it is her home too.

If you come into my home...treat me or my SO "frosty" then don't expect you will have anything other than basic courtesy extended in return.

Your friend has set those limits.

If you've had to ask 4 or 5 times....I'm thinking you know what she meant by "sure".

In girl talk.....I'm thinking she wanted you to realize what's proper and where and with whom your priorities exist.

Edit: In my home...you had better treat my pug with respect...it's her home too. If you don't...you'll be needing the numbers for the cab company and/or nearest hotel.

This guy gets it- and he is establishing boundaries- long-term friend or not. And I would have taken the opportunity to point it out to your friend right when the frosty bit happened. In a good way.

Your gf is the odd man out, on a good day. She justs wants to know and feel that she comes first. In addition, she is literally left out from being included in this get together. Did it occur to you to plan it when she was available to join you?(Rhetorical q.)

If you want to re-establish what you had, tell her she comes first, if this is the case, and that your friends are important to you and that you would like her support. Talk to her about what would give her a good level of comfort in this situation. If you are good with it, let her know that you are going to tell your friend how you expect your gf to be treated and be firm in that with the friend. Don't dicuss: tell- establish boundaries there as well. Yeah, it sucks that you need to be the school principal but it is necessary in this situation.

The drama comes from ones inability to communicate effectively, usually. She simply lacks the skills, as you do. I say this because, instead of talking to her when she is upset, talk to her when she isn't. State clearly what you want to say and ask her to do the same. It takes practice, but you each need to hear each other before the other one responds. You are doing good to keep the lines of communcation open- just do it at the right times.
Sometimes we just need an understanding hug. :)


For the record, your friend is exhibiting signs of jealously and being territorial, which aren't what I would find in a friend of mine. JMO.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Baffled
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:36:42 AM
The whole idea behind pof is to assist you in building up a thick skin to make you stronger in your next relationship. Woman have been coached by pof not to answer any mail from men who have been on here less than 6 months.

OK, I will shoot straight and desensitize you a bit to prepare you for the profile review forum. :)

What I know from reading your profile is that you are into rock music, bikes and tatts.
You aren't into fixing your hair in a way that would probably appeal to more women when you took the one photo that is on your profile.

If you are really wanting to give this a shot, get a complete profile and at least 4-5 pics, one of which should be a distinguishable body shot (clothed ,thank you very much).

Place your interests in the interest section- as many as you care to that will show women that you are more than a rocker with a bike. :)
Expand on your profile. After each sentence you have, expand on them with a couple of more + sentences and space between each new topic with a new paragraph so that it is easy to read. The care that you take in both your appearance with yourself and your profile projects your self image, and also the care that you have in actually finding someone online. Yep- it does.

BTW, I personally find it off-putting to state that your job is "employed". I have interest in knowing what someone does for a living, and not at all from a monetary standpoint. It simply helps me understand more of who they are and what their background may be. If someone doesn't place their line of work , etc. on their profile, I also see that as not being open-minded. JMO.
Best wishes.

Have some fun with it.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
My best friend is a girl. How do potential partners perceive that?
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:03:40 AM
I basically agree with Abbicci. My best friend is a guy. I should think that the dynamic would change between us somewhat when I am someday in a committed relationship,
just due to the fact that I will want my SO to be my best friend. I have never had an issue with this with any men I have dated, nor should you.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What Have We Come Across That Was Good In The Opposite Gender?
Posted: 8/16/2009 11:08:05 PM
There are many men who are humble and giving.

I admire their intelligence and the ability to have fun in any situation.

I love the way that men parent, in general, in such a laid back manner. There is little more endearing in life than a man with his baby or small child. Or a man with his teen son (or daughter).

There are many romantic and loving men.

Men have great spontaneity, in general, and are usually quite adventurous.

Men are just plain sexy.

I admire their innate ability to lead and to want to guide their families in a good way, through working hard and with a lot of love, whether they have the ability to outwardly show that love- this is all a demonstration of love.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Shoot Guns on a first date!!
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:54:18 PM
As you can see, there are differing opinions. I shoot, so I would enjoy it. I would only consider asking a guy to go to the range if he had an interest in shooting.

There's always the thought on the way to the range to ask for a little hands on personal instruction.

 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
What do you gals get up to on a Sunday?
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:32:11 PM
It varies. Today I got in at 4 a.m. from a birthday celebration and girl's nite out.
Went fishing quite early, then horseback riding and swimming and did some kayaking- all on a bit of land I have.
Had some time with friends and made some calls. Internet time and more time outdoors. Squared away my schedule for this week (self-employed) and watched a movie tonight.
Currently listening to music.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What any or do any ladies date guys without college degrees?
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:26:40 PM
It would not affect me in dating someone without a college degree. I'm dating them for who they are , not their educational background or material goods, etc. While I have respect for the work that goes into earning a degree, I respect someone who is intelligent and has their act together, first and foremost. There are many people of both genders who are very intelligent and have no formal education beyond high school, or may just have a year or two ( or 3 ) or college under their belt.
In fact, I find many of these people to be quite independently driven, creative, have the ability to think outside the box, are often leaders and quite capable as a whole.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Would you go to a party by yourself?
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:10:31 PM
I would have no problem going on my own, or with a friend of either gender.
Whatever floats your boat. I do most activites on my own, eat out by myself, etc.
I never give it a thought.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I just moved from the uk.
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:46:38 PM
If it is causing confusion, I would say that it might be a good idea to clarify the meaning or to drop it altogether. In time you will perhaps use the endearing euphamisms that we use in the States. Welcome to the States btw.
Perhaps you can find someone of interest to teach you our slang terms. ;)
You may know them and it just your habit to use terms you are familiar with using- no worries.

I thought treacle is a food in the UK?
And what does twinkle mean? I have an idea but I don't like to make assumptions.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is he married???
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:36:44 PM
After you have a real "date", then offer to reciprocate that date to "come over and cook you a home-cooked meal at YOUR house" and see how he responds.

If you dont want pursuit-by-text, DONT RESPOND by text, tell him you prefer to talk by voice.

If the behavior doesnt match what you WANT, end it.


What he said, assuming you know he's safe to be around- check him out. Ask questions.

This kind of has a textbook look to it, IMO. I don't like it when a guy and I have only been talking/texting and he says anything about deleting his profile and asks me to stop seeing others. Forget that.
It sounds like NONE of this is on your terms and that you are just following this guy blindly, and also taking him at his word. Nothing wrong with that (taking him at his word) , it's just that the "don't see others" part, in those circumstances, has a bad feel to it, OP. JMO.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do You Believe?
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:18:01 PM
You bet it's romantic! Good for him.

And, yes, I believe. I am a romantic as well.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
When is it past normal expectations to being taken advantage of??
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:40:11 PM
Perhaps get to know someone better/ get a better feel of what they are like before the first date. If you have a specific dollar amount in mind, which is quite reasonable and understandable, then it's quite alright for you to suggest where you go on the date.
Have a back up plan in case it's something she would rather not do.

You're not being cheap. I would never order an expensive wine, or suggest the upscale restaurant- I am more of a "let's take a great bottle of wine and a picnic" to the river/ lake, etc.

There's not a great way of dealing with it politely, since she close this place to go to.
Chalk it up to experience. Maybe it's a good dating tool of sorts to offer something simple and inexpensive to do on the first date. I'm not into meeting for coffee, but a walk along the lake or in the park is free. Bottle of wine: optional.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
if you are planning a major change
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:08:05 PM

It would help to know what he life change may be. Getting issues from your past resolved: definitely go with the above scenario.

my dear artist
i may be wrong but pg.1 msg.14....line 2 may unlock the doors to the mystery you seek!

aka, "getting your ducks in a row"
now why would a dog want to line up ducks???? when he could be chasing down good cats..


Ah...my apologies, OP. I am usually a bit more aware of all posts within a thread. I am in a bit of "recovery" following a birthday celebration last night/ girl's nite out. (Ugh, lol)

I think a change in profession is an exciting time of life, and would great to share with someone else. To what extent (LT, hang out [ask you now have posted], friends, etc.)- only you can determine this.

Is the cat reference only in relation to Cat's meow or to my being a Leo? (purrrrr). ;)

FYI, I had a change in my work 2-3 years ago. A major change. I haven't looked back and I enjoy the heck out of it. It would have been great to share that change and positive transition with someone significant, but I can still share what I do when he happens to come along. :)

I should think that one would get tired of lighting candles in the dark after a time, so best of luck to you in your new profession. The mind boggles at what this might be. ;)
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
if you are planning a major change
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:45:48 PM
Op,- hmmm...great and witty banter for a Sunday afternoon.

It depends on the life change. I believe that we all know the answers to our questions, especially when we voice them:



do you go ahead and rebuilt your future alone...and then look for a partner
aka, "getting your ducks in a row"

It would help to know what he life change may be. Getting issues from your past resolved: definitely go with the above scenario.

EDIT: hmmm...I just found your follow-up statement:
<div class='quote'>as for goals they can be reached in solitude as well as in unity

This is quite true, OP. If you have already resolved this in your own mind, go for it. What are you looking for at this point in your life? Then that is what you place on your profile, with any possible brief mentions of the life change that you feel may be necessary.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
certainty that he/she is 'the one'
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:28:42 PM
or hold out for the possibility of mr./ms. fireworks-with-tools?


Self-edit: Believe in the substance of fireworks-with-tools.

After 3 decades of relationship experience, I fully believe in chemistry first, followed closely by compatability and big time fireworks. The tools are necessary to sustain communication skills, negotiate, reach resolutions when necessary, etc.

And, yes, I know he's of major interest when all the members of the opposite sex become invisible, so to speak.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I'm not attracted to any of my matches?
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:12:30 AM
The matches are simply based on common interests, IMO. I don't look at them. I use the search feature and set the distance, etc. and browse profiles.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Second hand slut gear
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:09:03 PM
Friday nite entertainment at its best. Thanks for posting this , OP- just when I thought I had seen every subject in the forums.

My thoughts are- why would he care? He is the one benefiting from them at the time.
How does he know they are second-hand?
Recycling helps aid the planet. ;)
We're in tricky economic times- who wants to use the cash for another 'wardrobe'?

Hope that helps. Best wishes.

Cheers.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:10:33 PM
Don't attribute this behavior to online dating, as I don't believe you are (based on your post about your friend).
What goes around comes around. By her choosing not to see you, she may have missed out on meeting a great guy. By her not keeping in contact and skipping out on you, it allowed her to show you her true colours, which is a good thing in the long run.

Her behavior was blatantly wrong, but there are women who come across as fickle, when they are really just mulling over what you say and trying to take you in. They may have initial interest and realize that they don't want to take it any farther. That's just part of dating. We're rarely going to click in all ways with people we meet, but we need to get to know them a bit to find out.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why don’t they ask better questions like;
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:58:10 PM
The question I want to see asked in profiles is
If you are a attractive women why are you still here after 10,000 emails and two years of dates?

ld44, they don't put this in their profiles because there are 101 threads on this topic, in various ways.
The general concensus was that she hasn't found "the" guy yet, and it's not due to being picky. She just hasn't had one make her feel like this yet:

You haven't sent me your friend's number yet. (*wink*)
 
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