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davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Is this really offensive Posted: 11/24/2009 10:36:24 PM
oh, come on. you know good and well he was being an ass, and you're here for some validation. ok, you're right and he's wrong. happy?

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Do majority of ladies hate rugged guys? Posted: 11/24/2009 5:55:14 PM
can't speak to anyone's taste for ruggedness, but i'm guessing the woman who likes what your photos offer is going to be very much a niche find.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Seeking Advice... Posted: 11/24/2009 3:21:18 PM
if you're certain you want the life partner, turn your current guy loose so you can be open to the so-called ONE. if you're less than certain, no harm in staying in with this guy while you sort things out.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

In No Hurry Posted: 11/24/2009 2:44:47 PM
do you badger him much about the status of your 'relationship'? have you asked him if he likes you? because i'm reading the possibility of an insecure woman behind this. someone the guy needs to put the brakes on. someone who needs a little too much reassurance, if he actually has to tell her he's interested. interest is implicit in the actions of courtship.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

A general question. Posted: 11/24/2009 1:49:22 PM
well, of course i wouldn't lie. nothing so great that i'd do that could be at stake on a second date. i'd say 'why?' and be reviewing her expression and body language. if she didn't seem genuinely embarrassed to ask, i'd be thinking something might be amiss. but it could be harmless - like if she needed 8 bucks for parking and only had 5, say.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Inexperianced dater seeks advice on keeping a lady interested. Posted: 11/24/2009 12:03:15 PM
one of the best ways to drive someone away is to try to 'keep' them interested. this smacks of control and manipulation, and people don't like to be controlled and manipulated. you can open the door to your life to her, but you can't lock it behind her. not and stay ethical and out of jail, anyway.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Let's turn this around... Posted: 11/24/2009 11:17:58 AM
i too believe the honorable thing to do is be polite and direct and in person. i once told a woman after two dates, 'you know, i'm just not feeling this.' she looked relieved and said, 'me too.' 'I can't see this going anywhere' would be slightly more articulate. as far as asking why - no no no no no. it doesn't matter and feelings can get hurt and the 'information' has no use anyway. NEXT!

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 145 (view)

How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date Posted: 11/23/2009 5:49:38 PM
Don't you men want the respect of being the man? if yours has to be purchased, i don't want it. You have to give a little and paying for a date is not the end of the world. the same argument can be applied to sex. do you want to make that tradeoff? consider a blowjob the coin with which you buy my respect? didn't think so.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Selectivity Posted: 11/23/2009 3:50:30 PM
op, you are coming into a forum where women will offer sincere insight to sincere questions, and abusing it by airing your shallow judgments behind the smelly, ill-fitting cloak of the rhetorical question. you're a guest complaining about the hostesses, and you're not being roasted. it's surprising. your standards and preferences do not constitute some kind of universal yardstick. of course other people will see things differently than you. teenagers can be excused for not knowing better, but you're 28.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

What Would You Do?! Posted: 11/23/2009 2:42:25 PM
i can see the op's point. if i'm on a first meet and four members of her family just happen to be in the same restaurant, i'm thinking i'm being vetted by a loony. and the more she would claim a 'coincidence,' the less i'd believe her.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

What are men affraid of? Posted: 11/23/2009 12:42:16 PM
What are the things that scares you the most when you see/meet attractive to you lady? if i'm approaching someone IRL, i'm hoping not to see malice. some women can be pretty nasty about saying no. yeah, i know, no one can make me feel a certain way, but being looked at like something someone just scraped off their shoe doesn't feel too swell. What would you like that lady to do or not to do to see whether she is attracted to you as well? be sincere and open. for better or worse. if not interested, don't give me a phone number or say yes to a date. What can scare you off once you strat talking/chatting to her? inability to listen. What are you expecting to see in her behaviour to make you fall for her does this mean 'what do i find attractive'? intelligence, compatible sense of humor, flirtatiousness, warmth.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces? Posted: 11/23/2009 11:47:37 AM
religion is on the way out. from your mouth to god's ear. alas, though, we'll always have large numbers of the intellectually lazy who can be seduced by the false premises of the world that western monotheism promises. and an active constituency that is obedient and unquestioning (aka a 'flock') provides power disproportionate to its numbers. marriage has always been a business partnership that mostly benefited local power brokers. that's one reason it's so shaky when you take that aspect away.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Should I date the friend?? Posted: 11/23/2009 11:05:41 AM
sounds like you want to bang the friend to try to make the bouncer jealous or otherwise yank his chain. nice. assuming that's the case, then, you'd have no problem with a guy pretending he liked you and fvcking you in order to send a message to a gf of yours, right? just checking. what'll probably happen is you'll bang the friend, your true motivations will be revealed and both of these men will be contemptuous of you.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

What is with guys? Posted: 11/23/2009 9:16:32 AM
op, no one is interested in your trivial dissatisfactions. they're your problem. there's a saying among men: 'somewhere, someone is sick of her shit.' we use that to describe women with your attitude who are really hot. you probably have a girlfriend or two who's heard it.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Do we expect more? Posted: 11/22/2009 8:21:14 PM
i'm all for people approaching the 'unattainable' ones. it can be part of a great philosophy for life: reach for the moon, because you might just get it. what's the harm in asking? now if you attach some expectations to that, then you might have a problem. chutzpah is only underrated by those lacking it.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 337 (view)

Why some men never want marry? Posted: 11/22/2009 8:10:59 PM
the most meaningless ideas that some women invest faith in: contracts and rituals

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

pee Posted: 11/22/2009 8:01:55 PM
yep, only time i saw this was in a fraternity house in college, where guys would get so drunk you're crossing your fingers that they wake up the next morning. no matter how much you want to rub their noses in it, so to speak, do the next gal they date a favor and don't tell them.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Shake my tree Posted: 11/22/2009 9:56:20 AM
the idea of letting contact die and then reappearing after a few months is pretty silly. that's gotta be fishing for a booty call 90 percent of the time. but as for a man pursuing and then seeming to back off, be aware that a guy is only going to put so much energy into a pursuit, and if it produces no results, he'll focus his attention elsewhere. so that place where he seems to be backing off can be the place where he's gauging her interest to see whether she wants to meet him in the middle. you know, seeing if she's willing to initiate communication and meeting. a lot of women are happy to accept the attention of pursuit with no intention of it going anywhere. others don't want it but are too ineffective at communication to say so. (note the thread elsewhere about the woman who was so poor at expressing her wants that she told an unattractive suitor 'i love you' to scare him off.) so we do what we can to find answers to the questions that are so seldom directly answered, we've mostly given up directly asking.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

Playing the Posted: 11/22/2009 9:35:21 AM
Nope. But I'm going to try it on the next telemarketer that calls me. i prefer to go all evangelical on em. which i guess is playing the 'i love you' card in a jesus mask.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Was there ONE thing that made you want to meet? Posted: 11/22/2009 9:26:59 AM
With us guys.... 99% of us.... cus she looked hot. That was really a dumb weak answer. this answer is overstated for humor's sake, but you've still missed the point, oohbaby. it's not that looks are the only thing, it's that they're a necessary thing. for many if not most men. I couldn't care less how 'hot' they looked because for me it isn't just about that. you do get that this was a man's answer, and you're not a man? just checking.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 43 (view)

dating outside your race Posted: 11/21/2009 8:35:41 PM
what about the sexual aspect? physical aspects are a huge factor in this, and for some people, race-related features like skin color are keys to what turns them on. nk, seems you're also drawing an oversimplified distinction between preference and exclusion. take the example of a highly attractive white man who doesn't dismiss white women, but is just more turned on by black women and doesn't have to settle for anything less than exactly what he wants. thus, white women are excluded from his dating life, but it's not because he's 'against' them - he's just 'for' others. that's still a red flag?

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

WTH was he thinking? Posted: 11/21/2009 7:57:07 PM
Go apply to be a moderator if putting the kibosh on things turns your crank so much. oh come now, fp, as if you didn't relish calling people on their posting motivation. nothing wrong with this little sewing circle of chick solidarity, but let's call a spade a spade: it IS a pity thread and if the op truly found it funny, she wouldn't be working this hard: I posted because I thought it was funny as he$$ and wanted to share. I thought the whole thing was funny, I never got as far as the date lol. I'm laughing as I type this

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Met on date site now does one withdraw or ask the question? Posted: 11/21/2009 6:54:51 PM
Do men like a woman to ask what their intentions are or to define those intentions within the relationship? or do they prefer to be left alone that person seems to still be interested but has all manner of reasons for not meeting up, then is it time to call it a day. you're already assuming the relationship is dying, so what do you have to lose by stating intentions and asking what he wants? and for the woman to find new innovative ways to keep their interest alive. it's not a partner's job to 'generate' interest in the other. if you're not interesting enough as you are, there's no basis for a romantic relationship.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Baseball Caps, Pecs and Six-Packs, Sexual monikers Posted: 11/21/2009 12:00:00 PM
you know, op, when i see a woman's profile with only one photo, i figure she's trying to hide how old and broken-down she looks, because inevitably it's a 10-plus-year-old shot. why do women want to lie and deceive men like that, when they will always be found out upon meeting? it shows no class and no morals and no integrity and no intelligence. and when that one photo is from the ribcage up, i figure she's trying to hide that her ass is the size of the hindenburg. why do women let themselves go like that? don't they understand how physically unattractice that is, let alone showing the total lack of character strengths like discipline, health consciousness and strong self-image?

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

On professionals and commitment (interesting one) Posted: 11/20/2009 6:41:00 PM
what is the overall percentage of people married in these age groups? maybe that's what your anecdotal evidence reflects, rather than the percentage in some subset.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Please answer this question. Posted: 11/20/2009 6:09:56 PM
wow, we are witnessing actual, real-time stalking two messages up. JENNMANEQUIN Please message me, it won't let me message you, I don't know why. my options wont let me. I also cant access my my space accoutn either, and I found you there too.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Would you date/ be serious with? Posted: 11/20/2009 5:30:42 PM
99 percent chance of no.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Why are you really on here? Posted: 11/20/2009 4:42:24 PM
i'm here to read the same complaints from women, over and over, that after six whole weeks, prince charming hasn't noticed them.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Is this a sure fire way to get rid of someone? Posted: 11/20/2009 3:39:49 PM
I think the best way to get rid of someone is to tell them nicely that even though you think they're a great person, you just don't want to see them anymore. honesty? sincerity? directness? oh tracy, you're so naive. jk, of course

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How do I know hes real soulmate, even with our differences? Posted: 11/20/2009 2:20:37 PM
you know virtually nothing about this man, but here's something you can be sure of: he had these very same madly aching feelings and early discussions of future plans with his ex-wives. this guy is red-flagging you like a madrid toreador by wanting to go this fast.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Does this ring true for anyone? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:46:44 AM
But it has to be laid out with the utmost clarity of what is to be expected. the great shining holy grail of connection. problem is, one person's clarity is another's complete obscurity, and we often refuse to see what we don't want to see. If someone told me that they were starting to like me but it was bad timing.. I would still want to know if I should seek a relationship elsewhere or be exclusively in-exclusive with this person- should I be patient and wait for when the timing is right or should I move on. what this person is telling you is that they can't commit to you even at the dating level. now, i'd say i'm a fool if i tie my heart to someone not willing to do the same. but i suppose if you were dead certain that person is the answer to your dreams, it could be justified to put yourself on a shelf for them. depends on how much time you think you have, how willing you are to sit with that level of uncertainty, that sort of thing. I'd rather accept and appreciate what life gives me (and what I work for myself) if it is something I truly want because time has a habit and a better success rate of prioritizing people- not the other way around. how i'm reading this is you're saying you're open to fate, serendipity. i think that's wise. sounds like living in the present. people are often so caught up in where they're going, they lose sight of where they are.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Does class matter in online dating? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:06:27 AM
it seems like most of the 'class' cues are still there. people will still have photos that show their possessions and tastes, and their narratives will still roughly reflect education level.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Canceled our first date.. Posted: 11/20/2009 10:57:23 AM
99 percent of cancellations on the day of a date=no. sorry.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

back in the dating world Posted: 11/20/2009 9:02:18 AM
Honestly, I wouldn't ask her how often you should text. he's not, he's asking us. op, work your other contacts. keep an eye out for other women who look interesting. it sounds like you're focused on this one chick and overthinking things, and that's when overpursuing becomes an issue.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Reasons for not chatting with someone anymore Posted: 11/20/2009 8:52:18 AM
cmon, dude, you're a regular here, so: 1. you've seen the 'why did she stop messaging me/why won't she tell me why' threads and their same old answers every day, and 2. you know how pointless it is to think about the ones that got away, because whatever you did 'wrong' for woman no. 1 may be right for woman no. 2. do you really need to ask why women initiate less than half the time? that's like asking why people eat dessert last. it's customary. edit: And I still get cut off after a week or two. yep, there's no formula that works every time. it would really suck if there were, wouldn't it? that would mean any gal could tick off a few steps and have YOU in her pocket. the love potion notion. power of choice is a wonderful thing and works both ways.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 306 (view)

Long vs short hair Posted: 11/20/2009 1:09:17 AM
our old friend amilio shows the power of the 'neg.' on men and women alike. hook, line and sinker. don't hate me because i'm beautiful.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Best way to turn a guy down? Posted: 11/20/2009 12:40:37 AM
kudos for your polite sensibilities; you rock. but as others have said, no one who's reasonable is gonna blame you for not replying. i just hope you're not getting into round after round of email with any guys who want to argue or plead; that's a no-win circumstance, and your time down the toilet.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Curious - mothers who don't have their kids Posted: 11/19/2009 2:54:35 PM
i dated a gal last year whose daughter lived with her folks about 10 miles away. like a lot of people in this economy, she'd been smacked pretty hard and just didn't have the income or living circumstances to have a teenager with her. no reflection on her as a mom, from what i could see. i think a reasonable woman would understand that a man who was interested in her would have questions about a situation like that, and would answer forthrightly. if she doesn't, or gets defensive, THAT's the red flag.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?) Posted: 11/19/2009 12:36:14 PM
DON'T SEND ME NO BULLSH*T MESSAGES! those who read are obliging you. they're not sending you messages. be careful what you ask for.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

The first meeting Posted: 11/19/2009 11:52:15 AM
sounds like fear-based thinking to me. like somone who adopted this strategy is trying to hide who they are because they've already concluded they're not very attractive. i personally don't find sloshed people all that entertaining, so i'm not trying to get alcohol down her gullet. it's just a conversation. you're checking her out as much as she's checking you out. if the gal's mindset is such that she's trying that hard to disqualify you, she's doing you a favor, so you can move on and focus on someone who's actually open to connecting. personal power isn't an instruction sheet of 'jungle' tactics. it's a set of decisions you make about yourself independent of others.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

I see alot of looking looking for good guys on profiles Posted: 11/19/2009 9:16:01 AM
They put up a wall at that point or something. Haven't figured it out yet! what you haven't figured out is how to look at your role in the failure of the relationship. relationships fail because of incompatibilities and personal weaknesses, not personal strengths. it's so much easier to believe the latter, but as long as you do, you'll never make any changes that make you a better partner.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Missing the Point? Posted: 11/19/2009 12:37:54 AM
something deeper than this issue was going on. you two were pretty invested in blame. you both wanted to make the other the problem, when a little basic communication could have gone so far. him: 'here is when i tend to be horny and not busy. come after me then.' you (at the appointed time): 'honey, let's have sex now.' do you have a history of coming out of relationships feeling shortchanged, screwed over? like you contributed so much more than the guy, and you're not gonna settle for that anymore?

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/18/2009 6:15:18 PM
^^^ Women are simple creatures. this is where i stopped reading.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Whats wrong with people Posted: 11/18/2009 5:00:35 PM
I have a fear of being alone..And I think I cant find anyone else. that's a powerful insight, brother. give yourself credit; a lot of people never reach this level of self-knowledge. it gives you something to work with. So it is a weekness on my part. not a weakness, but it is your issue. no one can make the change but you. good luck.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Should I continue? Posted: 11/18/2009 3:39:16 PM
severe and possibly even disabling pretentiousness this is where the nose is so far in the air the person can't see, constantly runs into things and suffers bruises, sprains, even broken bones. i've seen it.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 53 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/18/2009 2:34:41 PM
Team work. Shows we're compatible... Guess we have to have sex now. hopes he's not a dud lay aw crap, now i'm busted.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 46 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/18/2009 2:07:04 PM
Frankly... every man Ive slept with... Ive been far more "experienced" & "interesting" sexually than they were. must ... try .... to resist .... swinging at ... fat ... hanging ... curveball ... nope. can't do it. then you're better off to just go fvck yourself, aren't you? sorry, that sounds a lot harsher than i mean, but i couldn't resist the setup.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 35 (view)

Born in the wrong era.... Posted: 11/18/2009 1:22:30 PM
It's just that, while we all know now how YOU feel about it, there STILL exist in society those guys who won't consider a woman who gives it up "too soon" (ie, first date) as a serious dating prospect/marriage material. the single greatest surprise of the forums was learning how prevalent this attitude is. i was naive enough to think 'slut' had been retired from the lexicon.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Are things THAT bad? Posted: 11/18/2009 1:10:44 PM
Then how could you have heard from them, and how could they be reading this? these groups don't necessarily have 100 percent overlap.

davidpiano0609

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Is there any recourse??? Posted: 11/18/2009 12:47:47 PM
do the nonpathological, noncreepy, nonscary thing: get a shotgun and blast em. you like to drink and smoke weed, op. maybe they were fine and you just couldn't tell.

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