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carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

How does my profile look Posted: 9/26/2009 8:21:06 PM
jax cat - Who gets 10-20 emails a week or even per month? I've been told my profile is good, but the type of photos could be improved. I'm not slender, but also not BBW, but I'm a nice looking lady. And I'm mystified why I haven't gotten one date request from an attractive man (notice, I don't say "handsome" - I'm realistic).

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Is having a car really THAT incredibly important? Posted: 8/24/2009 5:33:57 PM
I think some of it depends on where you live. For instance, it would be less of a big deal if you live in a city like NYC, where public transit is very commonly used - more so than private cars. However, if you live some place that doesn't have a big transit system - like Kansas City, perhaps - then a car would be a much bigger deal. I think some women will see it as a sign you don't have your finances together, or your maturity, or both.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

When a woman says... Posted: 8/24/2009 5:28:38 PM
I agree with this approach. I tend to leave things in no uncertain terms as well. If a man seems like sex is his primary interest, a time or two I've let him know that it will be more than a few dates before that would happen. Hey, the pyramids haven't laste because they were built on a small, weak foundation, right?

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

FIRE AWAY! What needs to be changed? Posted: 7/20/2009 6:42:25 PM
Okay, I've done some editing. Let me know if it's any better. No, no new photos yet. The dogs have a hard time using my digital camera, since they don't have opposable thumbs. I spent a lot of the weekend outdoors - some with the pups. Also visited with my mom, and her uncle (and his family) who is recovering from heart surgery. I promise, the next opportunity I get, I'll shove a camera into the nearest person's hands!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Hi! Can someone tell me what I am doing wrong on POF Posted: 7/19/2009 12:57:35 PM
Spelling fix: Dos Equis (no "e" in the second word). "I am not afraid to run my mouth off when I am pissed off, hopefully you be the same" You can tell ladies that you speak you're mind - even that you have strong opinions, but stating this way makes you sound like you'd be a jerk about it and that will argue it down with her. "I love sports, but you can tolerate it lol" Don't assume women don't like sports; don't make it sound like you don't care if they don't, though. Again, a jerky way of phrasing this. "I haven't been in a relationship for a long period of time (about a year)" Skip this, there's really no positive outcome I can foresee.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Women to review me. Posted: 7/19/2009 12:50:49 PM
One HUGE red flag for me is that you're still married. You may think of it as a technicality, but I assure you, most women don't.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

--> FIRE AWAY, FELLAS! Change WHAT? Posted: 7/16/2009 7:03:28 PM
Need your help, please. Looking forward to constructive comments.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Should I keep the abs in my pro? Posted: 7/16/2009 10:08:23 AM
Some women will think you're just trying to massage your ego, or want them to, by posting the bare-chested photo. While it looks nice, it's just not necessary. Why don't' you just wear fitted clothes? That will show you're in shape - if that's the point you want to make. Ladies will want to unwrap the package if your the right guy, soon enough.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

FIRE AWAY! What needs to be changed? Posted: 7/16/2009 10:05:45 AM
First, I know I need a full-length photo of myself, so lets set that aside. I'm not getting the number of responses I'd hoped for to my profile, and when I respond to a guy's profile, whatever I'm putting there (or what they see on the profile) doesn't seem to inspire them to respond to my message. TELL ME WHAT TO DO DIFFERNTLY! I usually put a compliment or two (sincere ones) in my message to men, make remarks that let them know I've read their message, tell them I'm interested in getting to know them better... it ain't workin'. I'm puzzled and mystified.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Are grammatical errors a big turn-off for you? Posted: 7/15/2009 10:23:08 AM
Poor grammar is a big deterrent for me.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

help me no responses EVER Posted: 7/14/2009 6:24:21 PM
I agree with the others... this is WAY to short. I'd never respond to this profile if I was your age in your area. Add something about what you like to do for fun in your spare time and what things you're passionate about in life - or maybe even some talent you have. Also need to have some thoughts from you on what type of woman you're looking for.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Looking for some ideas... Posted: 7/14/2009 6:20:34 PM
Your "I am independent..." paragraph may give ladies the impression that they're not needed or appreciated in your life. Just a consideration for you. Your "When it comes to dating..." paragraph comment about growing up a while ago, can read somewhat defensive or snotty. You might phrase it some way that women will understand that you're a mature 25 - you know what you want, you're pursuing and are not distracted by partying (or whatever you think are the negative hallmarks of other guys your age who haven't grown up, in your estimation).

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Let me have it! Review time!! Posted: 7/14/2009 6:10:19 PM
I agree with the other poster about cooling it with the mommy/family talk. Although I'm one of the women who DOES want to be a mom, it's really a moot point if I don't know whether I like the guy enough for a 1st, 2nd or 3rd date. Your profile data already shows your desire for kids, so you can leave most - if not all - of that out of your paragraphs. Other than that, I think your profile looks really good.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Looking for a review Posted: 7/14/2009 6:04:08 PM
No hat in the "new" photo, please; women want to see YOU. Also, drop the photos that don't have you in them. You can show them to "her" on your third date or something.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

My turn, please ! Posted: 7/14/2009 11:17:30 AM
75 miles from where I live gets pretty rural (and I DO mean farms)! For the poster who said to talk about "me," I'm not sure I get what types of things to write. Could someone post a fictional example?

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

I'm a big boy, I can take it Posted: 7/13/2009 6:20:42 PM
I don't think your "settleforthis" handle is gonna have 'em busting down your door. No one wants to think or feel like he/she has "settled" for anything in life, right?

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Review mine please Posted: 7/13/2009 6:08:23 PM
Having a handle of "instant gratification" isn't helping.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

My turn, please ! Posted: 7/13/2009 5:08:10 PM
See? Not even getting responses here! I'm invisible!!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Okay girls, Help me out here please, Posted: 7/13/2009 5:03:11 PM
No sunglasses, hats or dead animals in photos, for one. We want to see what YOU look like - at least in your main photo!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 44 (view)

Bitchy? Posted: 7/13/2009 4:57:46 PM
Maybe the difference is in the word choice? Are you trying to say that you'd like a man to spend some of his free time with you, or that you need lots of time ("extra") with him? You might consider re-wording if it's the former of the two.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 43 (view)

Bitchy? Posted: 7/13/2009 4:55:14 PM
You might add something to the profile that says a bit about the type of man you're interested in finding - what qualities do you look for? Also, the main photo is kinda kooky looking. I'd pick one that has a more natural...ummm... posture, I guess it is. Also, you might shoot a photo or two with just a bit of makeup on. I've learned what looks like make-up to me (in person) doesn't really show up in photos. You're a pretty girl; your photos just aren't working as well as they could to promote YOU!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

My turn, please ! Posted: 7/13/2009 4:48:45 PM
Naturally, I'm most interested in the opinion of the men out here, since they're the ones I'm trying to attract with the ole profile, right? I just changed my main photo, and I know, I should probably get one on here with a "body shot." But other than that, please tell me what I could/should change so I can get more responses, PLEASE. And... an editorial whine... why is it that most men on POF state they aren't even willing to date someone a couple of years older, or even their own age? I don't think I look (or act) my age, but these guys would (apparently) never give me a shot. Thanks, friends!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

What else can I do? Posted: 7/13/2009 4:40:53 PM
Maybe change your main photo to the one in the red t-shirt? In the other photos, you're very covered up, far away, or both.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 63 (view)

The 7/11 Get Lucky, Luau Posted: 7/6/2009 5:17:58 PM
If you want a nicer one that's a bit more subtle, Tommy Bahama brand. Probably carried at both Macy's and Dillard's.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 685 (view)

Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep? Posted: 7/5/2009 10:06:22 AM
My two dogs (big one is only 58 pounds) sleep in my bedroom when it's just me; the little fella (22 lbs) sometimes is on my bed, sometimes his doggie bed. HOWEVER, if/when there's a man involved, they would at least have to stay off the bed - unless we both want them on the bed. I had some good laughs with a man I was seeing when I closed the dogs out of the room for "private time." The little dog howled like I had died. We both tried to ignore it for a good while, but eventually both started laughing when the second dog attempted to join the chorus. They still stayed out of the room.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar? Posted: 7/5/2009 9:57:28 AM
My sister has been diagnosed bi-polar and a good friend of mine, too. Properly medicated (which many won't adhere to), they can lead a very normal life. My friend makes >$1ook/year in Marketing and is very attractive. Once in a while she goes through a few "down" days, but always bounces back. There's such a wide range of behavior with this illness, I can't say all are good OR bad for relationships. As with any potential date/mate, you just have to get to know that person and have some very frank discussions.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 335 (view)

Will a non smoker date a smoker ? Posted: 7/5/2009 9:52:36 AM
Nope. It's a deal-breaker for me. Been around too many smokers in my family (3p/day step-grandad...ew!) and step-dad died of lung cancer, in addtion to how the smoker's clothes, breath, hands, home, car - EVERYTHING smells (and tastes). No thanks. No way.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 264 (view)

why do alot of the guys at this site have a problem with dogs? Posted: 7/5/2009 9:44:18 AM
Miss Claudia (and other "dog people"), my feeling is that if a guy tells you he "hates" dogs, then he's not the right person for you (or me!). Geez... it's not like you dress your dog in baby clothes, push him around in a stroller and say it's your son! I think animal lovers are people who have more love to share in their hearts. I can't imagine what sort of person my former co-worker was, who claims she doesn't like ANY kind of animal. Perhaps people like that are concerned about not getting all of your attention?

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

Long-Distance Relationships: Do they work? Posted: 7/5/2009 9:33:34 AM
move on while you're still relatively young!

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 107 (view)

Any other grammar nazis around these parts? Posted: 7/5/2009 9:28:15 AM
My new favorite is "creative" first names with randomly - purposely - placed apostrophes. Even the "great" Beyonce has her apostrophe in the wrong place on her name. By how her family spelled it, we should be pronouncing it bee-yon-SAY, not bee-YON-say. I've seen a boatload of these on TV. Just stick and accent mark or apostrophe anywhere... make yourselves happy !

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 56 (view)

Very Excited ... Until The First Date Posted: 7/5/2009 9:24:16 AM
You're only 24 - most women (and men) that age DON'T know what they really want; they're still learning who they are and developing their preferences about what sort of boyfriend/mate they want. Very few people at 24 are certain about this.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Can any women explain? Posted: 7/2/2009 4:00:13 PM
Is that what you're reading in their profiles, or is that what they're actually like, once you meet these women? If it's the former, perhaps they think that comment will be more appealing to men. You don't know how many men's profiles I don't read because their choice of their main profile photo is with a dead animal or wearing a do-rag and sitting on their ATV/"bike."

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

How NOT to Impress Women... Posted: 7/2/2009 3:43:36 PM
We know a lot of men like to hunt/fish/camp/SUV or ATV. However, you might consider saving that picture of you and your dead buck or fish for photo #2 or later. A nice shot of you from the shoulders up is a great, first profile photo. Yes, there really is a guy with his dead buck on his main photo, holding up his "prize" by the antlers. ICK.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

questions... Posted: 6/23/2009 6:48:20 PM
May I join you in saying... no more hats, ATVs, monster trucks, or hunting "bags?" Please post photos where we can see your face - closely - please; a photo from 15 feet or more away with a hat and sunglasses on doesn't show what you look like.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

I took the forums advice, please provide more critiques. Posted: 6/23/2009 6:30:32 PM
I'd almost say that your list of interests is TOO extensive. Leave the ladies a reason to get to know you. Put something in your description - perhaps - about the type of lady you're looking for (general) and why you'd like her to be a part of your life... maybe what you envision doing with/for the right lady. I'm your age, female and that's just my opinion.

carol636

Joined: 2/1/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Time to Edit? You tell ME! :) Posted: 6/23/2009 6:26:47 PM
First, I know I need better & more photos, but after that, am I just experiencing bad luck or have I put the wrong things in my profile. Constructive advice without sarcasm appreciated (please save it for the kids).

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