If we're more than fourteen years apart, we can't trade off-site e-mail addresses because we can't write to each other on-site to do so.

There is no work-around.

as much as I loathe the concept of defending tacky, insulting ads, those things are what keeps this site free.
http://blog.ads.pof.com/

the way the ads are targeted at readers based on their demographics is a different side of the house. so it seems like cutting into your source of revenues by telling advertisers they can't use what's a major selling point for *them* -- the ability to customize their ads for the user demographics they want to target -- wouldn't be a very sound or lucrative business decision. young woman reading: "Rich Old Farts Want You! Join Today" *click* (referral)

Well let's see we can no longer contact anyone +/- 14 years in age nor reply if they contact us. Yet we can freely click on ad banners for "big boys wanted" "transexual lovers" "adult friendfinders" "Just hookups" etc. etc. that pay Markus by the click or whatever terms they have agreed to. Which most likely include membership numbers?

Am I the only one that sees this as hypocritical?

For those less fortunate in comprehension capability, making it required that all users choose age restrictions should suffice nicely, rather than applying a blanket restriction to all which is inappropriate and counter-productive for many.

I haven't read the whole thread - too long for me. But if I met someone and we started a relationship and he told me one of his female friends used to be a FWB and he still saw her, slept over a her place, etc, I'd run a mile.

He lives in another state and has offered me a one way airfare to visit him. He agreed that no string attach and I sleep in his guest room. We video chat over Yahoo Messenger and we have a lot in common but we rarely talk or text and if I text him, he rarely replied or take few days before he can reply. Any advice???

I think people should take as much precaution, including remaining monogamous but they should look at the quality of people that they date as well. If you are selective, and take other precautions, I think the chances of contracting something incurable is reduced significantly. Like I said before, I think people should have fun (a lot of fun) while remaining responsible and smart.

If she had had sex once when she wasn't ready, and never did so again (ie, have sex when she wasn't ready), I'd call her someone who had learned from her mistake. If she had had sex once when she wasn't ready, and CONTINUED to do so, I'd describe her as someone who HADN'T learned from her mistake; I'd probably call her a big dummy. I certainly wouldn't call her a hypocrite, because there's nothing hypocritical in there.

See, doing something stupid, then never doing it again because you realize it was stupid, and speaking out about it, isn't hypocritical. If she's trash-talking single parents, that makes her small-minded and mean-spirited, but it does *NOT* make her hypocritical. Words in English actually *MEAN* things; you can't just throw out any word, because it's big and scary-sounding, and hope like crazy that no one will notice...

Pleasantly surprised a handful of times. I have a TON of POF first meets. The vast majority used pics taken 10 years ago or 70+ lbs ago. Two used their DAUGHTERS pics. Many were totally unrecognizable.

Its a crap shoot on first meets on here which is why I do SHORT first meets. Two drinks or 20 minutes. I usually know in 3 minutes if I want a real date with them.

No you psycho, I don't care that men bypass me in their delusional of thinking they can get younger. I can still have a baby but unlike some of you I wouldn't just have kids with anyone. I don't want single dads to contact me because they aren't what I desire and I don't want to support their spawn or their ex.

I will quit judging when some of you stop having babies while on welfare that I pay for. Children deserve two parents and if the dad will not be around there is adoption. But nope, too many think nothing of having babies taxpayers support.

Hhmm...I dunno...that seems a little "ify" there. A man had knee surgery and couldn't be physically active for a while, it seems that you might be interested in him otherwise or you wouldn't want to see him later...and you tell him to look you up later after he recovers and loses his weight? He sent you the overweight photo, obviously being upfront with you, and you tell him that he was dishonest, and could only offer a retort that justifies you lacking depth? I wonder if some of these stories are an accurate description of events.

True, but there is a 70% repacking fee for shipping and handling in the event of an even exchange.

Yes, I always get their information and do a google/facebook search to make sure they are who they say they are.

Can someone shed some light on why anyone would make the effort ask a woman out and then disappear??? Are they just trying to see if someone would say yes to them? If this just happened once or twice over a long period, I wouldn’t think much of it. If they didn’t like the conversation we had, then they didn’t have to ask me out in the first place. Or if they changed their mind, they could have email/texted some lame excuse.

I once mentioned to a guy that I thought he looked a bit too young in his pic for his age and was it current. So he sends me a current photo and obviously has not taken good care of himself at all, looked horrible, like someone who eats chips and never gets off the sofa.

When I declined his offer to meet, he called me shallow. So IMO it's just best to walk away and say nothing because they have just proved their integrity is out of wack. Who wants to discuss dishonesty with someone who tries to fool you?

or the midlife crisis of grabbing at dating straws to form anything that resembles a "partnership"

Anyone have any tips on how to maybe solve my social awkwardness problems?

I go to check my email because I receive a notification of so & so wants to meet me, it says
to check their profile, I click the link, & then it's not there anymore.

It could be the type of people are you around... Most of the people I see are active and in fairly good to excelent shape. If you go to meet up group that I go to, You would meet anywhere from teens to early 80s. With most are being between early 20s to late 50s. Almost all of them are single, So that would say being single is good for many people. I meet those people at outdoor activities most of the time. Maybe If I hang around Bingo places there would be diffrent kind of people to meet.

I found many middle aged people who were happy to be alone now have health issues & financial worries, now they see the benefits in being partnered & are scrambling in the 11th hour...

THAT turns me off, big time!

Some of you people have WAAAY too much time on your hands; your bosses should up your work-loads considerably...

Nope, generally speaking, they want someone who looks, acts and lives the life of someone of the age they have indicated. That is totally true for me and often not for people who actually "sport" the number that meets the advertised limitation. It all starts with generalizing and leaves opportunities out even for the advertiser. Any of those I met via my method were more than happy I had found a way to "jump their hoop" and often, not always, broadened their age parameters due to what I had to offer and say about it.

This constant throwing out of someone's past, in a ploy to hang the "hypocrite" label on them, comes across as mean-spirited and petty.

Arlo, the hypocrisy that she is referring to is that in judging another for their so called "disgusting acts", or sin rather, she his being a hypocrite because she is sinning herself by judging others. If she were truly religious, and I'm assuming she's christian, she should be following in the foot steps of Christ, who forgave a prostitute, and in some gospel married said prostitute. As well as forgave and accepted all, regardless of their sins.

According to these people only parents should be here. After reading all their drama I can see why I avoid them as they are not good people to date. I would never date a man paying child support and alimony, especially if he is complaining about it. Why these people think childless would want them is beyond me.

Halcyon_Skies, Yep, two years of diapers is enough to make anybody think twice about kids....other than that, they are a real hoot. There was so much potting training pressure in our house, that the kids developed feces denial. The most comical home movie we had, was of my daughter being interrogated by me about the bad smell coming from her backside. I ask her if she did a stinky in her diaper, and she shook her head no. I then told her to tell daddy the truth, and then she yelled "NO I DIDN'T". I then turned her around and took a look (as if that was necessary) LOL. I said to her "Well honey, there is a stinky in your diaper....how did it get there?" She said mommy did it! I then ask "you mean mommy took a stinky in YOUR diaper?"...she emphatically shook her head yes. Needless to say, my wife and I went hysterical with laughter......it's been a family joke since, and anything that had a bad smell got blamed on mommy.LOL......off topic, but I had to share that.LOL

***holes just don't do it for me...mine or anybody elses. I think I have a feces phobia...had my kids up for adoption until they were potty trained. LOL.....just kidding!

*shrug* Just schedule monthly prostate exams with your doctor, if y0u're so keen to have someone mucking about in your bum...

Not really. As you are directly addressing me rather than ignoring my post and simply addressing the OP.
You responding to my individual post actually reinforces or proves my opinion.

Roller skating might not be a good example, it is just something you don't do or haven't done. If it was sometime you had done and hated it, would you go anyway? I doubt it...so you can either compromise and do something you hate or he can compromise and not demand it of you. These few guys "hate" dancing so they don't and won't. Simple.

Yeah, but a bill like this is no big deal to me. If you pay your share and run short, your kids will have to do without. I couldn't do that to them.

Irrelevant.

Sticking around forums on a dating website while "taken" means there is a danger when, instead of dealing with generalities (especially), you are trying to promote your own individual perspective, of "what works for you," because it denotes a self aggrandizing desire for an individual connection with other people. IOW trying to fish for a personal, intimate, connection or expression, trying to find a relationship with something or someone that fills what is lacking in your IRL relationship.

Many times people "cheat" without really knowing it.
Sometimes it's after the fact (although sometimes it never comes) there's a "wtf am I doing?" moment and at that point they try to hide it, or bury it, so the other person doesn't know what they've done. But at the time they are doing it they've simply rationalized it to the point they can manipulate their SO into seeing it as something innocuous and mundane.
e.g. "we're just friends, he's just some guy at work, it's just the forums."

I would say if someone is in an exclusive relationship, tell the woman/man you are on the forums first of all. I am sure most people know the other is. BUT, you also should let the other know that if you still have writings in your profile what and who you are looking for, make sure he/she knows that ALSO! I think if most knew this, most would NOT be accepting of this and why should they be? If a woman did this and I was in an exclusive relationship, I would ask she take it off and I would expect if I knew her enough, she would realize that and take it off. I would do the same if I had the same on my profile and she asked me to take it off. For me, I would have already been respectful and deleted words on my profile. I wouldn't use any excuses as to why it is still there.

Pretty stupid to think that a person who is an exclusive relationship still has to have their profile up just "in case". If your guy tells you he is ok with it and he will do the same, then that is an arrangement between the two of you, no one else. It is really hard to rewrite a profile if things don't work out......lol

People on here that say they are on the forums only, have a profile up but with someone, are a joke! They say their profile is hidden but you can read it so it is not hidden. People that have profiles but aren't really looking and also don't have someone they are with, that is a big difference. People who have profiles and are with someone should take their profile writings if they describe what they are looking for off of here. But all it shows is they are players.

Thanks for the insight. I included a line in my profile to say that none of my interests need to be shared.

While I understand that everyone has his/her own unique approach to dating, I don't believe that "grading" another human being is a positive step toward finding love.

If I want to flash my (o)(o), I just lift the hem of my skirt.

It will never be enough. My standards are already realistic. I just got an e-mail from a 45 year old woman who was quite a bit heavier than me. Perhaps most of you here think that's the kind of woman I should be dating. I politely deterred her. She asked me what I was looking for on here. I said that I am not sure anymore and that I am considering deleting my account. I was honest and I didn't ignore her. Perhaps it isn't what she wanted to hear. I'm not here to settle for whomever comes around. I cannot pretend to be attracted to someone I am not. I don't see any point in trying to either.

They have plenty of reasons to.

All I do is better myself everyday. Everything I have I've worked for. I choose not to drink or abuse drugs. I've dramatically improved my physical fitness. I make good grades in school. I'm really not the person you make me out to be. No, I'm not a millionaire. If I were, I wouldn't be on here arguing with a bunch of people who know everything about nothing.

I have to agree with babblingB, your best pic IMO was “throwing up a T”. Your current profile pic looks like an angry dwarf about to pound someone. Apologies to little people ahead of time.