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 Author Thread: Wrong and right.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Wrong and right.
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:13:59 AM
my kitty is alright. she sits beside me as i write this.

i'm listening to sebadoh right now. another song about his falling out with dinosaur jr. previous to that i was listening to jim white. it's my first time hearing him and he's alright too.

the sun is shining. unless you live somewhere other than vancouver i don't need to tell you how right that is. the seagulls are flying about and the throngs of people have yet to make their way to the streets. all is right with my world.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The peak???
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:51:27 AM
brought to you by jimmy pattison.

i was listening to the station the other day and it got me thinking. have you ever noticed how so-called alternative music usually lacks melody? i had no idea music could be so so bland.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How long did it take you to stop looking at profiles/message ppl and just go forums?
Posted: 4/14/2009 2:59:06 PM
it boggles my mind that people give up so easily.

how hard is it to look at profiles? geez.

i love sending messages and having someone reply. will this one be the one?

the excitement, the trepidation, you can't get that posting on forums.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Your eyes tell so much about you
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:04:33 PM

I've been told that I have bedroom eyes.


lol. i've been told that too. women can be so ironic and cruel.

but where does it get us? used and abused i tell ya.

it's time to change all that friendleebear. are you with me?
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Omens, Spirituality, Law of Attraction?
Posted: 4/12/2009 3:44:02 PM
here's a rather mundane example arguing against laws of attraction or whatever you want to call it.

have you ever noticed that when you're looking to buy a certain car. you begin to see that car everywhere? i think it's the same principal.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
The Perils of the Online Persona
Posted: 4/12/2009 2:02:43 PM
there's a certain tell it like it is female on these forums i would love to meet. just to find out if it translates to real life.

of course i would have to make some boneheaded comments to rile her up but all in all i think she'd have fun.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Forum personality impact on dating life
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:06:40 AM
potentially someone will look at my forum posts and say no thank you.

someone else will look at my profile and say are you kidding me?

so i say no big deal. there are plenty of fish in the sea.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Girls Looking for the Nice Guy Ya Right!!!!
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:46:04 PM
sorry i'm late. i fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

i think women want a man they find attractive and happens to fit whatever criteria they have in mind. it's pretty simple really.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How is this any better?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:23:49 AM
one week is hardly enough time to find someone. sure you might be a good looking guy but it's going to take a lot more effort than logging in and hoping someone will contact you.

you'll need to use the search tool and peruse the 600 or so profiles in your area. you'll need to use your powers of discernment while you read these profiles. looking for similar interests and descriptions that resonate with you.

next you'll need to write messages that interest the women you've found in your search. it is very important you ask questions that relate to what you've read in the profile. do not send generic form letters.

if a woman is interested she will message you back with questions of her own. it is very important you not only answer her questions but come up with relevant questions based on her reply or profile. keep the dialog going.

eventually, if all goes well, you can meet to find out if there's any physical attraction. keep it simple. go for a coffee or a walk. personally i wouldn't recommend going on a *real* date until you know there is mutual attraction.

if you work hard you will probably be meeting at least 3 women a month. so if a date doesn't work out move on to the next one. wash, rince, repeat.

POF is a powerful tool. Use it wisely and you'll find what you're looking for and have some fun in the process.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Dating websites Profiles, Fake or Real????
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:42:32 AM
recently i decided to look at what other guys my age had to write. i noticed they spent a lot of words describing the women they were seeking. the words they used to describe themselves were minimal and generic. one size fits all.

to me they sound like every other guy so i imagine that's what most women want to hear. if that's the case i'm not surprised some relationships on POF end with bitter posts on this forum. you really don't know what you're getting into until it's too late.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
To be yourself or be who you want to be?
Posted: 3/30/2009 4:43:25 PM

Way to miss the point. People who quote philosophers instead of having their own opinion tend to do that, so I shouldn't be surprised.

The point was, and I'll tell you it so you don't actually have to think, is that you gave advice via a quote that came from a man who eventually went insane. Feel free to give input, but throwing out quotes is very silly.


It just so happens that I happen to be a big fan of Nietzsche. I don't know if you realize it but he has much to say on this subject that is completely relevant.

Unlike your posts I believe his words to be insightful. So despite your unwarranted bashing I hope the OP gets something out of it.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
To be yourself or be who you want to be?
Posted: 3/30/2009 4:38:15 PM

Way to miss the point. People who quote philosophers instead of having their own opinion tend to do that, so I shouldn't be surprised.

The point was, and I'll tell you it so you don't actually have to think, is that you gave advice via a quote that came from a man who eventually went insane. Feel free to give input, but throwing out quotes is very silly.


Angry much?
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
To be yourself or be who you want to be?
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:34:12 AM

Nietzsche, of course, eventually went insane. To be fair, that might have been because of the syphilis.


anonymous nobody trashes Nietzsche using one of Nietzsche's favorite methods.

i wonder if anybody else finds irony as funny as i do.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
To be yourself or be who you want to be?
Posted: 3/28/2009 9:44:05 AM
“What does your conscience say? - You shall become who you are.”

“It is practiced by those who survey all the strengths and weaknesses of their nature and then fit them into an artistic plan... Here a large mass of second nature has been added; there a piece of original nature has been removed – both times through long practice and daily work at it. Here the ugly that could not be removed is concealed; there it has been reinterpreted and made sublime.”

- Nietzsche
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Double your dating?
Posted: 3/26/2009 7:57:15 PM
hey, my posts are missing from my profile. gosh and i was so proud of them too. i guess they decided our posts weren't core to the dating experience.

btw. honesty is the key to my dating success.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Posting in the forums....
Posted: 3/20/2009 7:31:08 PM
if i could post one sentence answers then that's what i would do.

it's actually my philosophy that if you can't say what you want in 3 sentences then it's not worth saying.

of course i'm paraphrasing Neitzsche for the internet age. It is my ambition to say in ten sentences; what others say in a whole book.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
POF words of wisdom....seriously!
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:48:13 PM
The following isn't advice. It's more of an observation.

In sales the closers are out there closing while the also rans are in the office moaning and complaining. I wonder if the same rule applies to these forums?
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Religion: Non-religious. What does that really mean?
Posted: 3/18/2009 9:32:01 PM
hmm, my opinion, let's see.

well. it's not something i worry about.

i would probably stop there but i have this message restriction that forces me to write more than i want.

for the sake of argument i think trolls worry about these sorts of things more than normal people.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Loners vs. lonely
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:39:13 PM

It can be said that SOME, but NOT ALL introverts may have social skills issues, such as abuse, etc. But for the sake of this discussion lets assume the extroverts also have a similar percentage of 'walking wounded' among them.


wth? some introverts may have social skills, such as abuse, etc?

wait, what?

fyi. we are a naturally occurring phen0nemen comprising approximately 25% of the population. learn to differentiate.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Are interests important to you...
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:02:32 PM
here's what i've learned. even if you like the beat poets and other authors from the 60's, never ever message a woman and tell her you searched for bukowski and her profile showed up in the search.

it's a messy conversation to say the least. i mean really, can't a person enjoy an author without necessarily condoning their lifestyle?
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Are Computers really worthwhile ?
Posted: 3/15/2009 3:17:34 PM
VisualStudio.net

Thanks to this glorious tool I can program websites like POF in a couple of days. I've got a huge code base (all of it free as in beer) and I can pretty much program anything I want.

developers! developers! developers!

- Steve Ballmer
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
The 80's
Posted: 3/14/2009 4:31:40 PM
is this movie in 3D? no, but your face is!

if they come for the car, save the radio.

- nick cage in valley girl

i 'm not sure why but me and my friends watched that movie too many times to count.

it was the age of vcr's. i used to rent 3 or 4 movies a week. totally loved highlander, streets of fire, escape from new york, aliens, blade runner, ferris buellers day off.

80's music kinda sucked though. i much preferred 70's music. disco was king.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Isn't BC talking about the Upgrade to Serious Member?
Posted: 3/13/2009 8:12:40 PM
personally i can't understand how anybody could become a forum junky on a dating site. the threads are mostly boring and there's too much moderation.

that being said. the dating part of this site is excellent. markus has obviously done a fabulous job and most of you owe a debt of gratitude.

when the time comes to pony up for all these benefits i'll be there. until then i will enjoy POF for what it is.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 35 (view)
 
SHALLOW VS DEEP
Posted: 3/13/2009 5:57:29 PM
i only post on the forums when i'm taking a break from dating.

lately i've taken to reading new threads and pressing the delete or not delete buttons.

it's actually better than posting.

well. it's back to watching flight of the conchords.

btw. good thread. hope it sticks around.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Is it okay to ask someone why you are not a match for them
Posted: 3/8/2009 6:40:43 PM
no it isn't okay. have some respect for yourself.

the rules are simple.

if someone turns you down then it isn't meant to be.

You may think that one more email will help but communication is impossible when she isn't the right person.

So move on to the next lucky candidate. Wash, rince, repeat. Keep looking until you find the one.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is NHL Hockey Staged?
Posted: 3/8/2009 11:20:06 AM
it's dangerous for a linesman to try and break up a fight. skates, ice and momentum being the main reason.

fights have been in hockey for a very long time. fighters are there to discourage the antics of energy guys taking cheap shots. they are also there to provide some energy for their own team.

if Gary Bettman changes it because a few americans get all whiny and indignant there would be an outcry for sure. hockey is Canada's game.

so here's my answer. hockey is a tough sport with some of the best athletes in the world. i say let the fighting stay.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
What is the best way to get out of a bad date and turn people down who hit on you?
Posted: 3/7/2009 7:06:15 AM
aww poor OP. trying to streamline the process but not willing to put in the work.

i imagine her selection process goes something like this. oh i love your photo and you don't sound creepy so let's meet.

the OP also wants to know how to endure guys trying to pick her up because it happens to her a lot. poor girl, the suffering you must be going through. lol
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
how to create sexual tension in coffee date/. movie theatre
Posted: 3/4/2009 6:01:12 AM
It may not be a joke post but it's definately an immature one.

To me it's one of those posts where I say "you can't be serious."

So I decided to look at the OP's history and judging from his posts he might be serious after all. Is this the girl he met in the bookstore? lol

One last thing. A red flag of sorts, although I could be wrong. I noticed he doesn't use apostrophes in his contractions. As someone who posts on quite a few forums I can tell you that people who don't use apostrophes are usually posting from a web proxy site.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Had an interesting date tonight with a fellow POF participant...
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:25:34 PM
so this date was an experiment?

geez and i thought i've seen it all. lol

i suppose vengeance might earn you some props from the women on this forum.

but i have to wonder if nice men would look at it as a red flag of sorts.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Advice needed: She says she can't get over her perfect ex
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:56:54 PM
to me a perfect ex is someone who is gone and out of her life.

other than that i don't have any real advice.

except run.

run for your life. before you get too deep into it and lose yourself.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Ideas for First Dates.. and your experiences..
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:52:32 PM
we think you're a very lucky guy?

take me out to the ballgame. umm, maybe not. sounds kinda boring.

the whole alcohol thing is probably more of a red flag than a sign.

when she leans into you do you sometimes bonk heads?

so many questions.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Had an interesting date tonight with a fellow POF participant...
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:43:50 PM
wow. what'll they think of next?

does that mean we'll be hearing about all your dates?

not sure how i'd feel about that.

it's not the guy can come on here and defend himself. not with all the ridicule and scorn flying around.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
if you had the chance, would you go back to the love of your life
Posted: 3/2/2009 4:33:55 PM
No because thanks to POF I've learned to look for red flags.

Every girl I see has one and she's waving it around with every word she says.

Hey there's a really terrific dress shop can we stop this raid while I buy a new flag?

I'll buy you the whole factory sweetheart.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
the same question over and over again
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:02:04 PM
I'm fairly certain the word professional is being used as a screener.

The woman is ready for dating and being taken to nice places. Maybe a plumber has money but does he know what utensils to use at a fancy dinner? (I'm joking)

It's likely she's more comfortable with someone of her own class. Someone with a similar background.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Trust Issue!
Posted: 3/1/2009 11:07:37 AM
If if is indeed a virus or worm you can easily find out. Well, not you maybe but a professional sure can.

... because if it is a worm then it's probably still there and your girlfriends machine is still being used for other nefarious purposes. That and the fact that there might be a keylogger present transmitting other information to the hacker. Banking information comes to mind.

*Edit*

Mr. Santiago's photo kinda matches the general consensus of the people on this thread.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Relationships you hold......
Posted: 3/1/2009 8:34:03 AM
Since you're interested here's my explanation.

I am looking for someone with a sense of humour. Someone who isn't mainstream and not looking to have kids and the white picket fence lifestyle. They also have to be deep and talk philosophy and psychology and care for things of that nature. This is actually pretty hard to find in my age group. I've looked at 600 or so profiles and have found maybe 6 so far.

I also want to find someone attractive. Chemistry is pretty important too. Feeling comfortable. If you look at one of my other posts you'll see that it took me 6 months on telepersonals to find my last relationship.

I fully expect it to take longer this time because of the whole red flags mentality I see on this website. It's one of the reasons I took my photo off my profile. The fact that it's a little bit blurry is a red flag, lol.

I also think maybe I get mistaken for a player, which is the furthest thing from the truth. I don't sleep around. I spent 8 years in my last relationship. The previous relationship lasted 7.

So the reality is I know it's going to take awhile. Right now I'm taking a time out after a round of dating that ended nowhere. Sometime in the near future I'll change my profile, put it back up, and begin the process all over again.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Relationships you hold......
Posted: 3/1/2009 2:16:39 AM
lol, I keep forgetting that some of you are here for other reasons.

I won't even pretend to understand why someone who's not looking for a relationship is even on this site.

As for me, I will definately try to avoid these pointless discussions in the future.

I mean you no harm, carry on.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Relationships you hold......
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:55:09 AM

But what about those of us that are simply single by choice?


Maybe they have too many family or work obligations. Maybe their life is so full they don't have time to think about someone else. I can understand that. It makes sense for these people to remove themselves from the dating pool.

For those of us without those types of worries I have a hard time believing someone would be single by choice. Sure, single after a break up is all well and good, you need time to heal and move on, but when you're ready and feeling good about yourself?

I can't wrap my head around someone who's totally content alone being on a dating site. So naturally I have a hard time answering this question. I'm not even sure why I'm even in this thread. Wait, is the OP a troll?
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 84 (view)
 
She's/He's been on PoF for 2 years..! It that a red-herring? Run or Stay?
Posted: 2/28/2009 9:36:34 AM
Being on the internet and using the technology like social network sites, POF, instant messanging, twitter. These are things that require continuous partial attention and can lead to no longer having time to reflect, contemplate or make thoughtful decisions.

According to recent studies, once people are in this state they tend to get hooked on the it because it feeds their ego and sense of self worth. I'm not saying that's happening here but it's something that makes me go hmmm.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Unique 'getting to know each other' date ideas
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:41:05 AM
If I ever met a fellow programmer I think it would be really neat if we could do some pair programming. We could work on a simple project together so maybe on the first date we could do some planning and design.

It'd be on the second date where we'd really get to know one another. This is when we'd actually start the project. I'm a big fan of doing the simplest thing that would work so It'd be a good way to see her programming philosophy. Would we mesh or would we be opposites?

Hopefully she'd be a .net programmer like myself so I can see how she's set up her Visual Studio. What kind of Macros she's using, that kind of thing. I think how one uses their tools is half the battle. Would she feel the same way?

Maybe on the 3rd date I could check out the size of her code base and she could check out mine. I'd also like to see the types of programming forums she hangs out at. What types of searches she does. How many links she has.

Omg, I'm drooling as I type this.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
What Kind Of Dates Are happening Here?
Posted: 2/27/2009 5:41:49 PM
I don't take POF very seriously at the moment.

I think it's because the women are too serious.

I guess it's also because I'm not that desperate.

Relax. That's my advice.

Some of you worry too much.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Profile truths....
Posted: 2/26/2009 5:04:25 PM
omg. i love all the Nietzsche quotes.

as for me, some call us metis but i prefer the term black scottish. it's the historically accurate term for what i am.

i love reading canadian history because it's very much my history too. hudson's bay fur traders. scottish men marrying native women for trade (and other ;) relations. at one time we had our own distinct culture.

anyway. some people lie. some people don't. it all comes down to how comfortable you feel in your own skin.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 313 (view)
 
Being in The Right League
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:59:50 AM
when i was a teen i used to hang at a roller rink. remember those? a family member worked there so i got in for free. i used to go at least 3 nights a week.

i was popular with the girls. every night some girl would come up to me, point out her friend and asked if i would like to meet her. the thing i noticed is that every single time it was the best looking girl in the group wanting to meet me.

so maybe it has something to do with the hierarchy chosen and learned by the girls themselves. based on attractiveness and popularity within the group. the most popular girls getting the most popular guys.

*edit*

later on in life popularity is replaced with other factors (socio-economic) but leagues do exist.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
dateing an older woman.
Posted: 2/24/2009 6:13:17 PM
it's up to the woman. if she's into young guys and she finds you attractive then you'll have your wish. but the reality is it's a whole lot like plentyoffish.

the older women i've dated always found me on the dance floor. they liked what they saw and wanted more.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
moved to tears
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:09:55 PM
Ahhh. Natalie Merchant. How many nights did I fall asleep listening to you?

Too many times to count I'm sure.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Not sure how/if to respond....
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:27:50 PM
You're not alone.

It really bugs me when someone doesn't give me anything to work with. Usually I send them back some gibberish and leave it at that.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Open for anyone
Posted: 2/21/2009 6:49:22 PM
It might be funny to you and me but I'm pretty sure it's a red flag to some girls. Best not scare them off.

Humour can often be misconstrued. Especially on POF.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
The subtle signals we give out.
Posted: 2/21/2009 6:39:55 PM
Ahhh perspective.

You sir, are correct.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Open for anyone
Posted: 2/21/2009 6:05:33 PM

Or if a long, romantic, on a couch, trying to sit close to you while you keep pushing me away movie sounds nice to you.


I would get rid of that part. Everything else seems okay.
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Would you want to be the last man/woman on earth?
Posted: 2/21/2009 5:53:39 PM
The last man on earth sat alone in his room. There was a knock on his door.
 
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