Can a relationship really last if diff sex drives? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Can a relationship really last if diff sex drives?

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Can a relationship really last if diff sex drives? Posted: 11/22/2009 6:01:10 AM
Maybe not, you are way too young to settle for unsatisfaction.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 99 (view)

Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath?? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:37:08 AM
Oh yes I have, Pretty much his personality is describes below in enclosed link. (http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html) Profile of the Sociopath * Glibness and Superficial Charm * Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. * Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." * Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. * Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. * Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. * Incapacity for Love * Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. * Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. * Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. * Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. * Irresponsibility/Unreliability Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. * Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. * Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. * Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. Other Related Qualities: 1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them 2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them 3. Authoritarian 4. Secretive 5. Paranoid 6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired 7. Conventional appearance 8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s) 9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life 10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love) 11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim 12. Incapable of real human attachment to another 13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt 14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose 15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world (The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

Meant to be alone Posted: 11/21/2009 2:37:06 AM
I married at 30 and will divorce at 50. this was 20 years ago...now ages have moved up a bit more....maybe you will marry at 35...hopefully you will not divorce. I had never had a long relationship before my husband....so just wait but look actively. yr special someone could just be around the corner. ONE ADVICE, dont settle for less than what you are worth, thats' a big mistake. Best wishes for you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Would a person who suffered a brain injury be a turn off for you? Posted: 11/20/2009 6:09:21 PM
I would have no problem, more than likely this person will overcompensate that flaw/issue with the sincerity and honesty that very healthy people sometimes don't have. I have 1st hand experience with my dad. He had a stroke and he could speak but for example he could not say NAMES, the would call me " my daughter, the eldest, instead of "Mary" for ex. he still was able to speak in different languages as he had this ability before the stroke. His intelligence was intact, how to communicate was a bit impaired.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/19/2009 6:27:32 AM
stray cat, Any woman would do the same as you are. Your guy will miss his doormat. But you won't miss his selfish feet rubbing mud in your eye. Good Luck with the next guy. Not all are like your soon-2-b-ex. So pick a winner. Nice advice, specially coming from a guy. I just wish there was a special device that will go off in our ears when we are acting so needy and door-matty. OP, use better judgment in picking your next guy and some self esteem advice or reading will not harm you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Why can't I just move on? Posted: 11/19/2009 6:19:58 AM
Faith, Do not feel bad because you are vulnerable. This just shows you heart is alive and working well. If you think the feeling doesnt go both ways as it would be optimum, then just get a little distant as well, but then look actively into dating someone else. Maybe this is the right time for you to seek a companion to enhance your life. Don't feel stupid, love is beautiful and feeling it once in a while just make life less boring and just enjoy the ride. Good luck to you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Nasty break-up, because of lies, drugs and deceit... Posted: 11/18/2009 11:58:01 PM
Be happy you saw it with your own eyes and even if it hurts you are lucky you know what to do......run...she could start stealing fro myou to fund her heroin consumption habit. Drugs destroy, we all know it, its hard to accept that people we care for cant see it. Best luck with next lady.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Wants to know about past realationship Posted: 11/18/2009 11:46:26 PM
I would act very naturally and just say you were together x amount of time and broke up since x amount of time and if he insists into more details, then I tell him I don't think its his business to make a background check on you and your past. He is not hiring you or anything such.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Why do men seem distant? Posted: 11/17/2009 10:05:23 PM
I believe they are scared to get into the next level, even though they already said it out loud. Just be happy it happened at this stage and not that they get cold feet 1 week before a wedding date. I do not believe it has to do with you or anything you did or say, but with them not being ready yet and they made the statement a bit too early.... Good luck

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Why do second marriages fail more often? Posted: 11/16/2009 6:24:49 AM
Thinking out loud, maybe some rush into a second marriage?? They are believers in marriage as the optimal state, but forget that when we 1st married it took sometime choosing our partner.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

you cant beat a fantasy can you Posted: 10/27/2009 5:54:21 PM
I think you need to split and start looking to forget her first and then to start dating to find a sincere woman to love you. Good look. This one might be an honest one, but honest to tell you she doesn't love you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

How soon do you feel safe? Posted: 10/19/2009 6:02:22 AM
I have no definite length of time...I follow my gut feeling. There are very simple things that make you know the guy is a safe person to be around...I don't know if you feel that inner voice, or you have that special screening ability. Paranoia will get you nowhere, it intimidates you, freezes you and in the end you might pass some good people just because you are paranoid. Think of it this way, men could also need to beware of women, some women are professional thieves and could even drug them to rob their organs and sell them ( it has been reported). So try to use common sense and work on decreasing that paranoia.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

why waste your time with excuses? Posted: 10/18/2009 5:45:53 AM
Since my experience is only with men, I'm sorry to conclude , most men are wimps, they can never speak with the truth when it comes to not continuing a relationship or a getting to know you better. Its not easy, but its respectful to do so. I have done and will do it each and every time I think it is the case. "One ugly truth is better than many small lies" in my book.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

will you stay with someone if they were diagnosed with a mental illness?? Posted: 10/17/2009 11:06:45 AM
Op, If his disorder made him mentally abusive, I guess I would try my best to make sure he goes to therapy and if things didnt get better then I would leave. If his disorder made him or physically abusive, I would leave or ask him to leave right away and would only consider getting back if he was under medical supervision and therapy and his disorder was an improvement or a controlled status. You cant risk your life and/or your sanity because I can assume more than like there are children involved and I would be risking condemning my children the abandonment or orphanage.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT................... Posted: 10/17/2009 8:00:32 AM
Sorry OP, but with those pictures and comments on your profile is very likely he confused you with an easy girl. I don't care your comment about "don't mind my pictures, I am a very marriage oriented person". It looks cheap and provoking and he is coming from deployment, HELLLO!

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

What do you think of this? Posted: 10/17/2009 7:17:38 AM
OP, It seem that he has something on the side and keeps you because you are not at arm's reach. A person like this doesn't deserve your feelings. I know its hard to tell you heart this, but you must try very hard and leave him. He is only nice to you when he doesn't have anything better on his mind. Don't settle by : "he is nice to me at times". He should be nice to you always! Best wishes to you and to """soflnighteagle""" ^^^^ not kidding you are divorced. I wouldn't think of spending a minute of my life with a someone with your kind of perspective in regards to communication within a couple.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Men and needs Posted: 10/15/2009 11:24:11 PM
Totally true. Us women tend to think that because men are strong, rough, rugged, they don't need to know they are appreciated and needed....on the contrary. They love to be acknowledged, thanked for, praised, etc. Men and women are both humans, we all have the need to be recognized as important to our partners....but it seem we overlook the male needs in this area.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Would this bother you and should I talk to him about it? Posted: 10/15/2009 11:12:20 PM
OP, Not immature, or petty or anything. Just ALIVE. He was totally off in his comment. You wanted to hear comments. Everyone mostly agreed he is WRONG and inconsiderate. See how it goes, but be alert....one more of those nasty comments and send him away. Good luck to you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 61 (view)

Should People in a Comitted Relationship Share there things with each other Posted: 10/15/2009 7:50:14 AM
OMG... I was thinking share as emotional sharing. NO...he is right material/possessions wise, His is HIS and Hers is HERS. If this is the only question you have for this thread, my answer is short, He is right.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

can it be fixed Posted: 10/13/2009 10:12:11 PM
OP.. 1stly, pls remove comment on one of yr pics saying "daughter is the pretty one", she look just like you anyways... 2ndly, yes there are prettier women out there, but there are more uglier women as well. You look great for 49 and also are pretty, so stop that. Men try to lower our self esteem ans a way of securing us, maybe thats what yr ex did to you. Forget about anything he told you...and you have a new life and please get read to enjoy it to the fullest. Don't talk to much to your guy about you are changing your problem....show him with actions. BTW I would also have felt awkward if he had asked me what time I had to be uop for work...so its normal... please be ready for good times ahead of you....and if he cant understand your issue about self esteem, then he is not compassionate and maybe not good for the long term... I think he really wanted to tell you you have nothing to have a low self esteem about...and just played he is not happy. My still husband did the same to me for years...whenever I started dressing nicer and fixing myself better, he told me this...."its great your Dr. helped you on yr self esteem, but don't think you are the Mother of all the Chicks". This is to show you, that he was not happy that I was not taking all his crap and feeling so little.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

What is the Worst Thing You Experienced after a Long Term Breakup? Posted: 10/12/2009 8:07:06 AM
The worst is the tears that can stop coming at any indication of anything that reminds me of him. Then the company he gave men, emotional company. He would write to me daily....just the fact I knew he thought of me, made me feel good. Also knowing that all the care I showed him meant nothing....that for over a year I was never honestly appreciated.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

from good to bad-lies,infidelity,betrayal,commitment issue-but why do i still LOVE her? Posted: 10/12/2009 7:56:53 AM
Dear OP, Unfortunately, our heart doesn't choose who we fall in love with. At least you are waking up and realizing she is far from an ideal partner for you. It will hurt, yes, maybe a lot. But trust me on this, it will hurt even more if you stay with her. Get out of it and spend some extra time with your children, while you sort out all this pain. When we are good, good will come to us. You are very young and no need to get into sure failure deals here. There must be more than a dozen women out there that would love to have a boyfriend nice as you were to this unappreciative woman. Another good advice, make sure a woman loves you for yourself, not for what you give them and what you do for them. Be nice, but not overly nice. Let them value you. for YOU. I wish you the best. R.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Do most women find 18 to be too young? Posted: 10/12/2009 6:16:18 AM
OP, I think someone messed up in that formula. Im 50...then I should date 50/2 = 25 + 7= 32!!!! That's so off!!! I believe at your age (18 )you should feel comfortable with girls your age or 1-2 years older. Remember also that girls tend to mature faster than guy at this tim,e of their lives, so that another thing to consider. BY no means risk yourself dating 16 or younger, you might end up accused of child molestation and ruin your life. They will always believe the "child". Please let me know what your formula mean...for me "/" means by or division.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Firgiving a cheating spouse? Posted: 10/11/2009 4:44:40 PM
I guess y'all scared the OP. Look like he closed his account !

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

BUSTED! LMAO Posted: 10/11/2009 4:27:11 PM
^^^ Arpeggia I would agree he was cheating on you too. You were told he was single. You didn't know he was married, so as far as I'm concerned, you also were cheated on....

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 71 (view)

Is it ever okay to resort to violence? Posted: 10/11/2009 4:15:41 AM
It is wrong hitting or assaulting anyone. If you are in a relationship and this happens, it will happen anytime form then on...its a line never to cross. JMO. The only way I would hot someone, for ex. it would be if he would be choking, maybe hit him on the back to see if it helps, or if I think he has passed out to make sure they react, you kind of slap them in the face softy.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

To Administration and /or Moderators - need advice Posted: 10/10/2009 8:42:54 PM
Thanks Mizz, I appreciate the time you take to make mine easier and understanding what I did wrong here to get a WARNING>>>> I guess it was mentioning I was a sucker for XYZ shopping website!! I promise I will not do it again... LOL Have a great evening! Closed Thread

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

To Administration and /or Moderators - need advice Posted: 10/10/2009 2:31:08 PM
Thanks Mizz... are you a moderator?, just asking because you seem very knowledgeable. I appreciate you help on this matter.... Funny think my all about me was deleted, not my interest where the so called site was listed. Oh well...yesterday I removed it. I also had listed the URL of my forum mpostings, as One poster had commented he did as well once Admin had removed "the 5 LAST Postings" form our profiles. I hope that's not considered broadcasting , spam or soliciting. I just thought it was a good idea...since people will have a better idea of where you stand about life point of view. Thanks, R.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

To Administration and /or Moderators - need advice Posted: 10/9/2009 8:37:46 PM
Thanks to both posters.... Now I know.....just dawned on me. I put in hobbies a shopping website that I love to search for deals...I put the full address. I guess I didnt realized this could be taken wrong...thanks for the HINT Revilors and also to Mizz. I get nothing from putting their name. I always give it to my friends and once they check it they are always happy of what they can find,.... I had been good at the forums and I never thought I had harassed anyone, I barely post in the forums anymore. The threads are lame due to most interesting topics being deleted by some members... I always had this website in my hobbies I guess someone reported it .... Oh well need to rewrite the all about me!

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

To Administration and /or Moderators - need advice Posted: 10/9/2009 4:41:54 PM
Today I received a message from Markus ( admin) stating" "This is you only warning" stating I had violated one or more of 5 rules. I know point 2-5 I didn't. they are mostly black and white answers there. Now 1 is subjective and I could have done it in error. Please let me know what I have to avoid doing so I don't fall into violations. I don't chat with many people, lots of them are people I know for some months and most we chat on IM. I don't need to know if anyone reported or who. My concern is I might have done something w/o even meaning to violate rules. Haven't even been posting on forums, its just too much hassle people get too fried up, so mostly read them and few times add to them. Thank and i know you are short of time so i know its hard for you to get to all of us at once. Rosiag.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Should mom tell on cheating future son-in-law and lose her job Posted: 10/6/2009 6:05:48 AM
OMG if there is no solidarity between Mother and Daughter....what is left in the world? Of course I would tell my daughter.!!!

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 131 (view)

Why some women don't like receiving oral Posted: 10/5/2009 3:50:25 AM
i found out about oral sex ( receoving) well in my 40's. At first, I was embarrassed, i thought htat area was not clean enough, even ferewshly off the shower... After a while I figured, if he insist, he gives the oral and doesn't complain,. why should I be feeling shy about it....after that I enjoy. But I confess it is not a must for me...

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 126 (view)

....i do......but he doesnt Posted: 10/5/2009 3:32:44 AM
8soldierfalcon8 Her main langauge is POLISH....she writes and spells better than many born in the English world!!! so comment of OFF TOPIC WHEN I ASKED HIM TO sign a pre nuputial agreement HE SAID THAT I DONT LOVE HIM ANY MORE. ^^^^ OMG now he sure is a manipulator...what could he said about this selfless act of yours... ALSO Anna, his mothwr is a rotten Bothch....she being a woman and a ,mother and he;lping his scumbag son trying to make a woman settle for the crum,bs he offers... Damm her...he is a bad woman. If nothing works, let your maternal instict help you take off from this sick man: Please think of you son, he deserves better than anything this man is offering you.... We have all advise you against this man. But only you can make the decision.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

What does it mean when a woman says... Posted: 10/4/2009 6:13:05 PM
Jon Boi, To me it means she has no respect for you or in general for other people's feelings...she wants an easy way out....and that's a very well known line, often used by men that we are all familiar with. Just never mind her....and go back to find a woman that at least is truthful enough to tell you if things don't work between you two. Best wishes.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 111 (view)

....i do......but he doesnt Posted: 10/4/2009 3:08:24 PM
^^^^ thanks Rick... I just hate to see people attacking other genuine people for non related issues to the topic. I didn't know this person is a chamaleon....I guess they might have the need to destroy to feel good with themselves.. anna Please....did you look yourself at the mirror?? What do you see??? I see a young woman with desire to get the things every everyone dreams for: A family a husband and children. SO the guy is nice???? He wants to have you like he is entitled to own you and in the conditions he sets. He has ZERO, NONE regards for your say in the deal!! Is that a partnership??? I would read the answers to your inquire....97% agree that he is NOT good for YOU!!!! He can be handsome, and apparent great catch, maybe has some money....but...... I think he has some very selfish personality! TO ME HE IS A WOLF with the costume of a LAMB... Honey, please dont let him sweet talk you...sure he can love you!!! but not enough. dont sell yourself short!!! Please dont.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 105 (view)

....i do......but he doesnt Posted: 10/4/2009 7:03:34 AM
im polish. i was studying IT for 4 years. i was studying biologo for 3 years., interior designe for one year, and make up artis for one. but all this got nothing to do with this situation. i work. i pay my tax, like every normal person. anna ^^^^ I was trying to sush the lady that made unkind comments about you needing to educate yourself. Do not need to get defensive with me. I am also a foreigner living in America. I think you have some moral values and this man refuses to respect them. The his MOM!!!! shame on her being a woman is asking you to take the little he is offering thinking her son is GOD!!! or what???? You are pretty lady, no need to put up with all his crap....just move on and Im certain you can find someone that offers you what you are looking for. ( your demands are very basic, marriage in order to have stability for you and the children you might have and you own child.) Anna, just be strong and stay as far from this man as possible. Best luck to you

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 98 (view)

....i do......but he doesnt Posted: 10/3/2009 10:02:48 PM
XOthermic, I suspect the OP is not English speaking to begin with, she seems to me like Eastern European....maybe just living in UK....so she is doing the best she can... Just saying..... ============= OP I suspect your guy might be married or maybe separated...I find it very odd that he wants to rent his place and live in yours that you will be renting???? I wouldn't move one inch away from where I am to pursue a deal of any kind with this man. Its OK to be divorced if there was aggresivity in her ex-husband behaviour.... Now I believe in marriage just like you do, but also remember for a marriage to be stable, people have to be committed and honest to each other. This guy seems is none of the two.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Does this make me a cougar? Posted: 10/3/2009 8:51:00 PM
^^^^^ thats exactly what I think a cougar is....the older woman that chases the younger men. In this case he aproached you and like they say...WHO CARES.....they can call it what they want, all that matters is what you two think and how you get along. Obviously he didn't care about the age....so that's already a plus. Just remeber there are always people trying to put a negative label on a new couple...ignore that if it happens. Best wishes

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 123 (view)

How did you lose your first love? Posted: 10/3/2009 7:03:34 PM
We met in Boston, I was an exchange student, Accounting and BA fresh out of college, he was a PHD in Economics, 11 years older than me. We both were away from home....so when the time came, we just knew we had to part. Back then I felt I loved him with my life. I was only 22 and full of rosy ideas about life and love. He was nice to me, our cultures were very different, but our education was not so off except for the fact that he had achieved more degrees due to his age. It was a beautiful love in Boston. I went back to Boston after 25 years and stopped by the apartment where we shared our love...it was something special and big. It shook me up so much. So no break up or bad fights....we just knew our love had an end.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

How do you like to be treated after sex... and how important is it to you? Posted: 10/3/2009 1:12:52 PM
for me definitely this one: cuddling and quiet chatting - after you catch your breath, of course. this to me is the real intimacy....where you can feel not only bodies were connected but your minds and ( when we definitely are in a good LTR) even hearts as well.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

what does the term hooking up mean Posted: 10/3/2009 1:08:23 PM
I must thank the OP and posters...I was always wondering about that "phrase" , now I know better not to use it. I am also not raised in US, so as much as I try and master English, some words, slang escapes me.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

really need some relationship advice guys..anything please help Posted: 10/3/2009 9:44:12 AM
Dear OP, Just move on....he in the best scenario is immature, in the worse, he is a liar. He might not want to hurt you but he will because he is "living la vida loca" in college. Just try and forget about him NOW so its less hard...the sooner you start, the sooner it will stop hurting. Good luck to you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I am confused as to what I need to do. Posted: 10/3/2009 9:35:48 AM
Dear OP, Why you have to move and be at the mercy that he might not love you enough? He is not being a gentleman...I would not pursue any further dealing with him. A woman needs to make her man cherish her, want her....if he on the other hand wants the woman to come to him,. to do the moves, to sacrifice her stability for a MAYBE!!! me with a cool head thinks....anyone deserves better. If he wants a trial time, do as car lots people do....anyone can get a test drive, but they need to go to the car lot. They don't bring the car lot to your house. Hope you make a smart move...even if that means a bit or even a lot of heart ache. Wishing you the best.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

is he a womanizer? Posted: 10/3/2009 5:02:17 AM
OP, For what you describe, I believe he is not good material for LTR. He is possibly immature, insecure and gets a kick out of repeating and repeating about a woman here and another one there. That is also tacky and of bad taste. Yes, you are awfully young for him, and he should be thankful that you like to be with him. If he is sending the subtle message that you are kind of the best he can get.....for now- is in his mind. He comes across as he is shallow and self centered as well. I would dump him right now and start looking for someone that deserves you genuinely. dont forget what is not good when new, will not get better when old. Like is a broom doesn't sweep good when brand new........its will be useless when old. I think you feel he is not good for you....then he is NOT good for you. Now you need to act on it. Best wishes to you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

need a second opinion please Posted: 10/2/2009 6:38:47 PM
She is a manipulator, cold hearted and for sure a bit crazy. I would advice you to get as far away from her as possible. She hold nothing good in store for you. Good luck to you finding someone nice that is willing to appreciate you.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

A question to the Ladies.... Posted: 9/30/2009 12:26:43 AM
I am a firm believer that we need two parents to have better chances to grow to be functional good adults. I "lost" my father due to an illness, he never left us or divorced, but still has was an absent "figure" in our family. My Dr. tells me that for me when I was a child this was abandonment and for this reason sometimes I feel scared to love because I feel this fear of abandonment. Dad was bedridden for 30 years due to him being left paralyzed by a stroke due to deeper causes. Due to this fear I dont trust when a man loves me. I still think we as adults can seek help and turn around in our favor any unfavorable circumstances we had while growing up. It is not easy but we can always find help even if we can't afford them financially ( ex. a pastor, priest, a friend we trust).

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 40 (view)

Are men that cook better for a relationship? Posted: 9/28/2009 6:15:10 AM
A man that cooks is an added good quality, but IMO it does nothing to prove they are better at relationships. Example, he BBQ's wonderfully but at same time drink like a fish.....while cooking the meat...... I don't like anyone around me when I'm cooking, I love to do it all or not do it at all.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Pls help, guys and girls, did I lose him? what to do to get him back? Posted: 9/28/2009 5:51:51 AM
OP, You did nothing wrong. So stay calm and the only thing I would do is call and leave a message, make sure you sound in control. Just let him know that you got a bit nervous because of not finding the keys and him getting rained on. If you respect yourself, too bad if he doesn't like the fact he needs to wait for more intimacy. Its your life and your body, you have all the rights over it. He might be a good guy and shy as well, who knows. Just act normal, there was no deal breaker on your second date on your behavior. Wish you luck and BTW many many men love the Asian looks and personality. Keep fishing if this one fish doesn't work out.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

False pretences Posted: 9/26/2009 1:18:10 PM
I think most of Rock's postings are intelligent and funny as hell. If you don't like then don't post or maybe grow up and ignore the comments you don't like? SOXFAN64 ^^^^^^^^ me don't agree, many times it falls under the type OP is mentioning. Forums are to air out concerns, doubts or simple ask... some people seem to get a kick out of bashing others like a punch bags to let their frustrations out. It is not a matter of liking or not liking what they tell you. It is a matter of getting the answer to the question and in this case, he was not getting it, so he got irritated and its his right. BACK on subject: OP, I believe taking back someone that has no hard way oto show you they have changed is almost a recipe for 2nd time failure. For ex. If I ended it because he had alcohol problems, or gambling problems, or anger problems, he would have to show me proof he seek help and completed whatever he was asked to do in order to managed his problem. Otherwise...its a NO NO.

rosiag

Joined: 2/3/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Long Story - What to do Posted: 9/24/2009 5:46:14 AM
I think you did just right. It's not easy to do what you did. Good for you! You set your foot down real well and that shows character. Us, women, appreciate men that are not wimps, but yet they treat us great and that's exactly what you have done. If you lose her, that means you never had her and in this case you would be better off. Yes, I do think she is kind of enjoying playing with both men, maybe she is into you but her ego is being massaged at the same by her ex's interest. She needs to be mature and choose one or the other. Good luck to you. Good move!!!

Show ALL Forums