GAAHHH!! I think I blew it! :-( chat & forums.

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HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

GAAHHH!! I think I blew it! :-( Posted: 10/6/2009 4:11:04 PM
Short answer - its a recipe for disaster when one person cares for another person more than the latter cares for the former. I've recently been through it myself. Helped this girl through a breakup with her boyfriend, then kept up the same level of contact after she declared herself "officially single". I knew better, but the emotions took control. She didn't generate any contact, texts got one word answers. I went from being encouraged to kick her abusive ex's ass to no contact 3 weeks later. Dating is a game, but love is real. However, you have to play the game to get to love. If you put love first and fall too fast, you lose the game.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

How Soon Into Dating Do you Delete Your Profile? Posted: 10/6/2009 3:26:18 PM
Would never delete my profile, even if I got married. Would put up "not single/not looking", then go invisible. These forums are way too good to give up. As crazy as they can be, you really do learn a lot from the forums about how people think and act.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 236 (view)

Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women? Posted: 9/1/2009 3:48:02 PM
This behavior works both ways unfortunately, the majority of women (under 30) go for men of average intelligence who are physically/psychologically attractive in a carnal way before the well read, intelligent guy. They prefer the male model/hottie, bad-boy, or player. People tend to overplay the attention the male doctors, wall-streeters and college professors get. The age of the gold digger has come and gone, this is a niche market that now only makes up about 5% of women. Yes, success and the ability to provide is still important in a LTR, but money is no longer a top ranking priority (to single women under 30 at least). I'm only commenting on the under 30 crowd since I don't know as much about women over 30. If you were to line up a bad-boy (cocky club goer), a bad-ass (biker or thug etc), plain as day but incredibly attractive guy and well read guy with a high IQ in front of 100 women (again, under 30) and asked them to choose a date you would get close to the following results: Bad-boy/player - 20% Bad-ass/biker/thug - 20% Model guy - 50% Smart guy - 10% The reason for this is that we are now in the age of independence. People feel that who they are in a relationship with, and the relationship itself, no longer define themselves. If a woman is smart, she doesn't necessarily "need" her equal. She wants what she wants, and it doesn't necessarily have to fit any mold. The same goes for a man. Smart men don't necessarily want women as intelligent as they are (not me, I pine for one). There are many doctors/lawyers/etc with a lot of vapid eye candy on their shoulder. The days of relationships being made up of people who are of similar status in all aspects are done. Also, many men who have no problem dating women who are much more physically attractive than they are, usually do have a considerable problem doing the same with women who are much more intelligent. Yes, they feel threatened. I hope I have helped.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Weight loss in reference to my height/body type? Posted: 8/30/2009 5:43:09 PM
Thanks for the friendly advice, but I don't get my happiness through my appearance (my family, career, hobbies do this quite well). I want my appearance to be what will actually make me most attractive to the greatest number of women, so I have a better chance at finding a mate. As far as appearance goes, I have no preference, I am not Adonis. Be honest, brutal is necessary.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Weight loss in reference to my height/body type? Posted: 8/30/2009 5:24:41 PM
I was talking to a female friend of mine the other day, and mentioned that I was thinking about upping the intensity/range of my workouts (I already run 3X/wk, but for health reasons), possibly starting P90X. Pretty much spend the next 6 months/yr getting ripped. She basically told me "hold the phone on that one, bad idea!" Now I'm 5'6", 200lbs, but I've been blessed with a "big boned" body type that lets me carry it well (all of my profile pics reflect this, as I've been around 200lbs for the last 6 years). Regardless, I'd still like take off another 10lbs, but if I hit the P90X hard enough I could get down to 170 at least (did it in college, and still wasn't ripped or skinny). She basically told me that my body type is a huge advantage over other guys my height, in that I'm short, but not small. She went on that if I were to get shredded and have a six-pack (which would be an improvement for MOST other guys), I would then also be "small". In other words, she said the status quo is the best possible scenario. Dating is already a war-zone for any guy under 5'8", so I'd rather not spend a ton of effort making things worse. Advice?

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Just who are these supposed, CREEPERS? Posted: 7/30/2009 9:00:33 PM
Creepers can entail a wide variety of the male species, here are a few: 1) Guys who do not become interested in you until they get to know you as a person (could take 3 months to a year), and then put on the full court press (seems random and sometimes possibly uncomfortable). 2) Guys who catch a passing glimpse of you, and are instantly attracted. Unfortunately you are leaving the mall, and they must follow you out to the mall parking lot or lose you forever. (hilarity ensues) 3) Shy guy from across the bar who you catch eyeing you all night, and finally approaches you (or more likely your friends in the parking lot as a backdoor attempt to get to know you) at closing time. Yeah, this was meant as a joke. The really creepy guys are the angry/violent ex-boyfriends, or the long term stalkers. Most guys that women refer to as "creepy" are really the guys that are potential long-term relationships that never happen. A guy walking up to a girl out of nowhere, and sparks flying, isn't even approaching realistic. About 40% of men need to know a girl for 2 months or more to gain attraction. Love at first sight (instant attraction) is a concept of pure hilarity. Its real, put happens 1% of the time (mutually). If a guy seems like he's not into you when he first meets you, then all of a sudden you hear from him a lot down the road, pay attention! One of these guys is worth 10 of the slobs that stumble up to you at the bar etc.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 550 (view)

shaved bald men Posted: 7/26/2009 2:27:18 PM
I only had a widow's peak, lopped it off and grew a beard. Nothing but compliments since.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY! Posted: 7/26/2009 1:28:26 PM
I see the picture as the entry point to the profile, you won't click on a picture if you are not reasonably attracted to the person, or if they live really far away. Therefore, the picture and location are excluded from my list, it only makes sense. Going forward... 1) Has children - Because of my personal views, I seek out women that already have children, as I have no intention of having my own. I have no problem with kids, I'm very good around children, just don't feel the need to procreate. Most (I'd say 90%) of women who do not already have children want them in the future. This also works out for me since I'm typically very busy during the week, and do not have time for a day to day relationship. Single moms have their kids and career to take care of, and are generally not getting bored and running you ragged during the week, they have much more important things to take care of. 2) Smoker - we like our own, just as many (though not the majority) of non-smokers prefer the same. We just see fellow smokers as more accepting, and (probably unfairly) view non-smokers as being overly judgemental. Same thing goes for drinking, you better be able to hold your liquor, at least be a social drinker. 3) Height - I'm 5'6, I would like my match to be 5'4 - 5'8, never got the whole petite woman thing, and wouldn't mind if you were a few inches taller. Height in heels does not count.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

going down on a woman who is pregent Posted: 7/4/2009 4:22:18 PM
Where is the Delete Thread Button when you want it !!! I don't think we should delete any posts, whether they are trailer park, art gallery, or Einstein level. Unintentional humor should always be welcomed!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Unnecessarily mean rejection? Posted: 7/3/2009 5:51:16 PM
The forums need a Hall of Fame, and this needs to be first inductee. I did not stop laughing for at least half a minute. Tragic misinterpretation, but totally great!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

To settle or not to settle? Posted: 6/29/2009 5:01:09 PM
The part of your question that made me scratch my head was Would you ever "settle" for someone you were only kind of attracted too because they were nice, secure, rich, stable and or you felt they deserved a chance Attraction is not the of all and end all of a relationship. Security, stability, like minded thinking, financial compatibility etc all make up a large part of the equation. I think that people who enter into relationships and marriages simply based upon attraction ARE the problem. Attraction and "chemistry" are nice, and very important to a point. However, they are just one piece to the puzzle. If a woman came along with a like minded personality who I was greatly compatible with in how we lived our lives, I would definitely overlook the fact that "sparks did not fly". Now, I will admit that I don't make emotional decisions, period. Everything I do is based upon a stoic, rational basis. I realize that I am the exception, not the norm, but I have a strong opinion that going the other way and making your decisions based on feelings isn't smart or realistic in any way. Usually some happy medium between the 2 approaches is the best way. To make a relationship work, everyone has to make concessions in some way (settle). Entering into a committed relationship can be a rational decision making process, and that is how 50 year marriages are made.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

Deal Breaker? Posted: 6/27/2009 4:02:40 PM
Just a little hint for everyone, 22% of men, and 28% of women are smokers. If you cut us out, your chance of finding your soulmate is incredibly diminished. Not like cutting out single mom's with young children (10%), or drug user/addicts ( 5%) . Just a thought, we love our cigarettes, and we're loveable .

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Men/Women Please dont make this mistake... Posted: 6/18/2009 2:57:15 PM
I'll be honest with you, 2 of the last 4 girls I've dated within the last 4 years have dated me because I'm the short guy who is "jacked". The fact that I can toss a 250 lb. man like a lawn dart (will admit that I demonstrated this to one of them) should have nothing to do with how attractive I am, or how good of a boyfriend you think I can be . But low and behold, attraction is a weird game, and still makes no sense whatsoever. People like certain races/looks/careers/personalities of people, or dislike them. There are exceptions either way. Some women like a high quality short guy (they feel like a supermodel with a rockstar), some are attracted to a short guy who can kick a tall guys ass, and others like a guy who can match their intellectual prowess. It all depends in the real world. People are very specific in what attracts them, and what really matters is what they are thinking in the back of their minds. You may not "catch the person's eye", but be aggressive, and I'll bet you will prevail.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

good or bad? Posted: 6/18/2009 1:45:19 PM
Depends on the nature of the relationship. If you appear to be "too" into him, he may feel like he can get away with cheating or "open dating without consent". Also, bad girls offer temporary fun, the guys who date them have no intention of ever entering into a long term relationship with them. They also know the girl probably does not have that intention either. Chip1331 is right in the fact that a lot of guys do fall in love with these girls, due to wishful thinking. They think they can "change them". Same deal as girls who fall in love with a guy who is confident AND**** (wow, I found the elusive 20% of the male population that can excite/protect me). Nobody can change a person, and a lot of people just aren't worth it. Good Luck!!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Where do I go wrong? Posted: 6/18/2009 1:19:37 PM
It's just like sales, you need to be able to read the person to be able to respond appropriately. Some girls are alphas and want you to speak intelligently to them, some are fun loving "normal" girls who want an intelligent conversation with a bit of flirtation, and unfortunately some aren't as sophisticated as you are, and require YOU to be the alpha and come off as a "man's man who rules and lives in his own world", tossing your confidence in their face. You have to be able to understand what that specific girl is looking for to be able to gain attraction for you, and you have to understand it within the first 30 seconds. On paper this doesn't seem hard, but in reality its a challenge. I would imagine most "pickup artists" are salesmen. I am a salesman, but not a pickup artist. I'd rather throw the first approach at every woman I approach, to weed out that third tier. If this specific girl is that important to you, or any girl, you have to figure her out first.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 659 (view)

Slept with 83 people Posted: 6/14/2009 2:31:26 PM
same deal as vaginal-rejuvenation surgery, its rolling back the odometer

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 60 (view)

Ladies, Want to know what happened to all the Nice Guys? Posted: 6/2/2009 4:52:09 PM
I'm going to deviate just a little bit from the main point here, and point something out that everybody seems to overlook when they refer to "nice guys". There is a distinct subset of guys who get lumped into this category, who are much different from the ones described above. The two types of attraction of guy will have for a girl: 1) Guy sees girl and is attracted to her. He either asks her out, does nothing (too shy, thinks she's out of his league etc), or becomes the creepy individual described above and pretends to be her friend in order to get her to "see the light". 2) Guys sees girl, not attracted. Guy spends considerable time around girl (work, circle of friends, bff of his friends girlfriend etc) and eventually develops attraction for her. These are the "Endearment" types. In my estimates, 99% of women are either initially attracted to a man, or are not. For men, I'd say only 90% operate this way. The other 10% will meet a woman, feel nothing, then slowly develop attraction over time. They operate on the exact polar opposite of love at first sight. This happens to me on quite a few occasions, however I also do experience initial attraction for plenty of women, luckily. I say that because in reality, initial attraction (see girl, ask her out, get answer, go forward based on answer) is the only one that has ever gotten me positive results. This is because by that point I'm already in the "friend zone", and realized that I should have stuck while the iron was hot, you know, just IN CASE I would someday actually become attracted to the girl I just asked out. Three years ago, I realized that this was simply a personality flaw, and began ignoring the female acquaintances that I became "endeared" to. I just felt it necessary to bring this up since a lot of women don't realize "endearment" types exist. Many of those "nice guys" weren't creeping around pretending to be your friend the whole time. They just weren't attracted to you for the 1st few months!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

Online dating doesn't work Posted: 6/1/2009 6:18:11 PM
Rule #1 - You can be as jaded as you want, you just don't want to advertise it in your profile. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What is the sectret??? Posted: 5/30/2009 12:55:27 PM
I think the secret is to date people you are compatible with, not just simply attracted to. Attraction is an emotion, just like anger. You need to ignore it when it is not in your best interests. There are tons of women I am attracted to, but do not pursue because I think, "there is no way that this is going to work out". You may be pursuing people based solely upon attraction, or chemisty. They feel like, "Wow this could be fun for a while, but I won't fall in love, no long term possibilities." Thus, you end up getting played. This is why men eventually stop going after party girls, and women stop dating "bad boys". Just my 2 cents.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 33 (view)

Another Nice Guy Thread... Possibly the Answer To It All Posted: 5/29/2009 5:48:56 PM
abelian - A ``nice guy'' is: (1) A guy who needs a woman to worship; (2) A guy who can't understand why women don't beat a path to his door just because he'll worhip them. My take on "nice guys" is that these men are guiding their actions based on false hope. There are a great many men out there who are attracted to submissive women, and nice guys believe that it goes both ways. In reality, maybe 1% of women, at best, are attracted to introverted, and submissive men. They (the nice guys) think that there is a nice sized market out there for guys that aren't equal/dominant in the relationship. Putting the woman on a pedestal, hanging on her every word, and showering her with attention is the way a lot of men see the ideal relationship. Many nice guys, though not all, want to date a goddess, not an equal. I would imagine that there has to be some self-esteem issues involved here, outside of the typical doormat and BDSM types.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

why do a$$ holes always get the good girls? Posted: 5/24/2009 2:35:29 PM
Because both men and women place way too much importance on #1 and very often #2 (I'm still not sure I have that ratio right).

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

why do a$$ holes always get the good girls? Posted: 5/24/2009 2:00:37 PM
There are essentially 3 types of attraction, of which people place differing amounts of importance: 1) Physical 2)Quirks -on the male level - ***hole behavior, extreme shows of confidence, "running the room" - non-aggressive behavior, yet showing social dominance On the female level - you pull off a personality quirkiness like Natalie Portman's character in Garden State, you are adorable like Jennifer Love Hewitt in Party of Five etc 3) The personalities of the 2 people actually mesh, and they get along, for the long haul The unfortunate part of the equation is that #1 makes up 60% of most relationships, and #2 makes up 30%. This is why we have so many problematic relationships, and divorces in marriages. We need to live, and learn. I dare anyone out there to refute this.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 70 (view)

Is it okay to ask someone why you are not a match for them Posted: 5/24/2009 11:14:33 AM
I just had one of those Eureka! moments! We need a forum category called "brutal honesty". I am one of those guys that would really like to know the reason for "not a match", and alot of men and women share this view. I agree with most of the posters here, it isn't right to message someone back and demand to know the reason for rejection. So, we could have a forum represented to "why are you attracted/unattracted to me." Yeah, it may read like: 1) Too fat 2)psycho 3)I'm physically attracted to you, but thats it 4)I f***ing hate cats 5)Tool But you at least get feedback.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

How to let a man down nicely? Posted: 5/24/2009 10:22:05 AM
Just a side thought, he may end up as one of the analytical types who don't believe in the randomness of attraction (I don't). So be prepared when he wants to know "exactly what he did wrong" during the "exit interview".

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Differences in how men and women write their profiles - open discussion Posted: 5/22/2009 5:56:10 PM
If you misinterpreted my intent, my bad. This is not an attack on either men nor women's profiles. I just feel that if both can merely "lay it all out there", everyone can get a better perspective of the profile. Thats all.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Differences in how men and women write their profiles - open discussion Posted: 5/22/2009 5:29:58 PM
I felt like we need a serious open discussion on how men and women differ in writing their profiles, and the problems this may cause. I chose not to put this in Ask a girl/guy, since it warrants a much more broad discussion than the 1st 20 people to throw in their 2 cents. Men, especially myself (admittedly to the more extreme end of the spectrum) tend to be very specific in their profiles. At least the honest ones who are sick of dating people we are incompatible with, and actually believe in a soulmate (gasp!) We share our world views, opinions and attitudes fully in our profiles (read mine for example). We share the good and the bad, and often turn women off by simply stating the truth. I think this is a good thing, it is like going through 2 formal dates in the 3 minutes it takes to read a profile. This avoids a lot of wasted time from both parties. Again, this is concerning the large % of men who rate physical attractiveness and personality "quirks" as important, but true personality and lifestyle trump all. Most womens profiles, on the other hand, seem as if they are purposefully trying to be a vague as possible. "Looking to find a partner in crime, we can take it slow. I like baking and hiking. You must be honest and trustworthy etc). Yeah, we all have eaten baked food at some point, the vast majority of people have some affinity for nature and athletic pursuits, and both men and women try to stay away from lairs and cheaters. I do realize that women are more likely to forgive a man's interests that they don't agree with as long as his main personality traits are in line. You sort of treat it like a job interview (just be a good guy, not a scumbag, extra points for that whole knight in shining armour thing hehe). Most men do not take this approach however, and are seeking a woman just as interesting as they are, maybe not a soulmate, but close. Extra points for sharing the same views obviously. We don't care if you like or hate Rush Limbaugh, just that you openly share your opinion with everyone, and most importantly, have one! Discuss.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

At what point should I tell my date what I did???? part 2 Posted: 5/1/2009 4:04:18 PM
"3) My father is an alcoholic and regularly shows up at my house to beat up the residents." Hahahaha yeah I guess that would be a biggie!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

When women have to kill a bug. Posted: 5/1/2009 3:53:49 PM
This topic came up the other day at work and nobody really had an answer, so here goes... Ladies, when there is no bugspray, or boyfriend to be found, and you have to do the job up close, why do so many of you feel the need to remove your shoe to hit the bug, instead of just stepping on the damn thing. You never see guys doing this. I personally scoop the thing up with a cup and throw it outside (I love all animals, not just the cute furry kind). I know a lot of women who also do this. So, this is specifically aimed at those who feel the need to kill it because it might come back I guess.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Am I too unemotional and independent Posted: 4/18/2009 7:04:15 PM
Honestly, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I approach relationships in a very stoic way also. Making a decision out of blind love is no better than making one out of blind rage. Think with your head, not with your heart, and you'll fall in love with the man you can get into one of those 40-60 year marriages we all want. Marriages are made between people who are 100% on the same page, and reasonably attracted to each other, not in love and reckless. Good luck!!!!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Can't make any sense of this???*? Posted: 3/7/2009 6:50:58 PM
or, it could be that he was really into you, and wanted to appear that he not only had the same interests as you, but the same capabilities to make them happen. Guys know that the longer he can keep a relationship (even if its still in the casual dating stage) going, and the more time and effort he can get the woman to invest, the more attached the woman will become. I've seen guys do this with women they are so into, they are willing to pull out all the stops and say whatever is necessary to keep it going. For a good example, I'll go to the extreme. Imagine a guy is so into a single mom he will lie and act like a complete family man who is economically stable and has his shit together, yet in really he is an alcoholic with $15,000 worth of credit card debt. If this is the case, you may find this guy standing outside your window with a radio above his head if things don't work out!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What do guys daydream? Posted: 3/5/2009 2:12:40 PM
We often forget that what works at the club doesn't work in the rest of "real life". Also some guys actually don't "forget", they are one trick ponies who act like that all the time, and knows it will only work on 1 out of 20 girls. On the opposite end of the spectrum, try approaching a girl at a club/bar the same way you would someone at an art gallery/museum and see what happens. Can you say "deer in headlights"?

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 147 (view)

What do men really want, do you look at anything besides the pic? Posted: 2/27/2009 7:08:10 PM
Unfortunately, most dating situations deal with extremes. Most men and women look for the most physically attractive person they can possibly attract, and generally settle for who is available after they hit their mid 30's. I, on the other hand (and also on the opposite end of the spectrum), am looking for the smartest woman I can find. A neurosurgeon or a CEO (CFO's are pretty cool too) would be more attractive to me than someone with model looks, though I do have a minimum standard of attractiveness. I manage a commercial facility and day trade stocks on my days off (though not so much lately due to the market). But to each their own. The bottom line is that everybody is looking for something different. We do read your profiles, and we do scrutinize them. You need to be as descriptive as possible, and really "let it all out there." Don't sell yourself to someone you don't want to be sold to. Be true to yourself!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

A buddy developed a Crush on Me...! Posted: 2/27/2009 5:41:26 PM
We would be able to help out in a more educated manner if you can tell us the exact reasons why you think it wouldn't work out (besides the already stated ex thing) ("nor do I see it working out because of many factors which he's aware of"), so we can tailor our response to the situation.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 43 (view)

McDonalds Posted: 2/27/2009 5:11:13 PM
McDonalds gives away free samples just as drug dealers give you your first fix for free, now your hooked on the crap. Caveat Emptor my friends!

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Hygiene in the work place Posted: 2/27/2009 4:53:48 PM
Just a heads up, people who blow their nose and don't immediately wash their hands are 8X more likely to cause a health problem at the workplace than using the bathroom without doing so. I forget where I read that, it was a long time ago. Makes a ton of sense though.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Anyone try p90x? Posted: 2/27/2009 4:43:24 PM
One of my co-workers has been doing p90X for about a month now. What I've learned is 1) It works, major progress in just a month (he was always a normal build, so I don't know how it works for weight loss). 2) You have to buy a bunch of different equipment in addition to the program (chinup bar, barbells etc) 3) The average person can do it (he's a smoker too), but you wake up sore as hell for the first week since it works out so many different parts of the body

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

She makes the first move... Posted: 2/27/2009 4:30:12 PM
I've been in 2 relationships where the girl not only made the first move, but actually asked me out. The first fizzled, the second lasted over a year, then she moved away and joined the marines, and I had to cut ties since I don't do long distance relationships. She very confidently walked up to me at a party, struck up a conversation, and asked me out a half hour later. She was definitely an alpha. If you don't want to be the aggressor, then I would suggest at least walking up to the guy and striking up a casual conversation. I read a statistic that in social situations, women's #1 technique for flirtation is smiling at the guy from across the room when he looks in her direction. This SOOOOO will not work with most guys, as we know most women are socially friendly to everyone (unless they have a reason not to be) at bars or parties. I'd say that a good 8 out of 10 guys will NOT pick up on this as a sign of interest. To repeat an obvious fact heard everywhere, guys aren't good at subtlety. If a woman is interested, she has to blatantly let the guy know, even if she doesn't want to be the aggressor. I hope this helps.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you? Posted: 2/27/2009 4:11:05 PM
Quite a few guys develop feelings for someone after getting to know them better. Most of these types of guys view a girls personality as way more important that her looks, or what the "attraction" between you would be. I know, I'm one of them. Attraction is just two people who agree that the other person is physically attractive. Chemistry is envisioning a relationship, and day to day life. You can't determine this until you know each other for a while.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Why would he do this? Posted: 2/27/2009 4:02:28 PM
Probably taking out his own frustration out on the innocents, I seriously doubt that your the only victim. Same deal as the jerks who yell at clerks in stores when they have a bad day at work.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Is it my profile, or do I just scare the %&!@ out of people? Posted: 2/26/2009 7:08:07 PM
Wow, honestly the height thing never even occurred to me. I know some women who only like to date guys significantly taller than they are, but I thought they were part of a small minority.

HappyFriday66

Joined: 2/5/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it my profile, or do I just scare the %&!@ out of people? Posted: 2/26/2009 5:40:18 PM
Hi, I'm hoping to get my profile reviewed, any and all advice is welcomed (please be brutally honest). I have a very complex personality, and tried very hard to reflect that in my profile. I'm very outgoing, very opinionated, and have a quick-witted sense of humor. I have never had success dating women who are shy or can be put off by my boisterous social style, so I'm not trying to attract those types with my profile. You gotta be able to hang, easily offended need not apply! I think my lack of responses comes from the fact that 1) I'm a smoker, and 2) I'm nowhere close to being a male model (my headline is a bit of witty sarcasm), but if there are any red flags in the profile, please let me know. I also think I put my best pic as the first, but also included "smiling" ones to appear somewhat friendly. Thanks in advance for your help.

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