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privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

review my profile please Posted: 11/23/2009 9:56:21 PM
The profile isn't bad. Main pic is decent. Lots of times suggesting fixes to something that's not really broken doesn't work. However. You need more photos, particularly a full shot, get some outdoors. The text is sorta mixed up and wanders in areas it need not go. Chicks don't wish to know about the relationships that didn't work out. You could have done something like recite a poem but you didn't. Your automotive business likely has some interesting side to it - that shows something for 20, maybe add an anecdote around that. Its probably best not to discuss internet dating in your profile though - that's self defeating; they know. Try to keep your sentences on a positive bent, eg" I'm working on buying or renting a house very soon." could be better as "in my area there are great homes at good prices now, I've saved some and scouted three properties. No bids yet." There are lots of other social networking sites and just general places to meet for younger people; christmas cruises, football tailgaters etc. Those shouldn't be neglected for POF, there are probably ways to leverage them together, ie get on twitter, move to that early after chatting through notes. I don't really know how that would work - but I've been pinged by a few younger women, (why I don't know) they sent MSN info.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Profile review PLEASE Posted: 11/23/2009 9:23:54 PM
OP, I'm not sure the smoking matters. The pics though - We would not know if those were four different guys there. That's not to say they're bad photos,.. still - get a few that are just casual shots of you doing something that's inclusive or normal - like grabbing some tomato juice out of the frig or catching a frisbee. Main pic a closeup, good light, outdoors, teeth, smile, relaxed. Your interests would be better as something that is searchable. i.e. 'personal training' maybe not searchable, 'boxing' yes it is. Interests are mostly to provide keywords that someone might stumble across andi.e. skiing, spain, sci-fi, holistic medicine. Maybe see if there's some help about keywords in the profile writing tips. Read the tips. Those people know there stuff. The profile text is brutal. The confident pose can work but what you have doesn't. Chicks won't read past the list of "you gotta be's", because its a list - everyone has a hate-on for the lists. All the short sentences that lead with "I" should go. They're a terrible combination of 1) using "I", b) monochromatic bullheadness and c) a list. The confidence can work - but lists and sentences that start with "I' don't. good luck

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Profile review request - curious to hear what you think :) Posted: 11/23/2009 8:45:55 PM
OP, The others have excellent points, and the best plan is just to stick with that, however if things don't seem to turn around maybe consider a few options. Okay,.. emphasize the francophone side. Sure you'll lose a few of the others but let's say you've sent off a 3 notes to women in Hull/Gatineau,.. make the whole profile French - talk about things that are happening there, like apres ski, Mont St Marie, minor league hockey. If you've sent a few notes to people who are english switch back. Pics make a difference. I don't think it helps much to be a model type person - even John Belushi had great pics and great girls. A lot of yours are just static posed shots, some shot by someone above you. The DJ ones are good but they focus on the work (and I though you were sharpening skates first time I looked). Get someone to shoot 100 pics outdoors, make them pop by cleaning a few up in photoshop, crop them and rotate them through your profile to see if they improve responses, have some in for ratings. All my ratings are ultra low so even one or two that get 4 to 6 ratings are likely great. While it may seem shallow the photos are definitely the first barricade. Everyone can have great pics. Do the personality test and look for people in the 85% and above range. They do have something in common. Hit up POF functions. I've never gone but as with most social networking sites some presence helps: post to a few local forums, comment on forums that women you are interested in have also commented, rotate photos so you seem a new person. I suggest no restrictions. It allows community type contacts and you never know who's friend can refer you to someone else. Lots of people read a lot in them that's really not there. Your profile isn't a style I'm fond of but it is honest and straightforward. There are other styles that are as much fun and paint a full picture without any "I am", "I enjoy".. "I", "I", "I.." Short version of this: great pics are possible, after that's maybe look at other profile styles. Funky likely won't work for you, but yours has a little bit of a 'covering letter' tone. It can't hurt to throw something else up, maybe with a different or seasonal emphasis.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

I can take it.... bring it on.. Posted: 11/23/2009 3:13:49 PM
I like it as is. Might help with a more revealing full shot. The First Date is unique. Maybe more of what you enjoy; anecdotes could help - its not very clear what sort of person you may be based on the profile (I suppose that's what emails establish). Quirkiness is fine but it needs to be balanced with something that speaks from the heart. Its written with a hidden quality - as if to the internet and not to one person who'd like to know you. Lists are always bad, but those that detail qualities that most adults are expected to have aren't extremely useful. As to the 30/50 split you seem to enjoy - lots would be jealous. Not sure why that happens.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

my page! is it too much??? Posted: 11/22/2009 7:23:46 PM
OP, sure we may be inbred but.. no I don't have an answer for that - that could be true. Your pics are decent but the main one is mocking the player look. That pic should just be simple, closeup, smiling, teeth. As for the text, its too much a joke on the bad spelling and internet slang. 'lol's don't work and all the chatting slang and brutal spelling only makes things difficult. Its not unique in a way that helps.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

I would appreciate feedback about my profile. Posted: 11/22/2009 6:13:18 PM
Hi OP, You're getting a lot of flack over you photos. The main one is a problem partly just by accident. Its shot against a light background, your hair is light and it just doesn't show your features distinctively. Try getting a few that are outside, active, maybe smiling, show some teeth. You're a few years younger than me, that's probably easy to demonstrate. As for the text, well that's quite secondary as the photos are the main business. Still - many are not fans of the discussions of other people or the "If you know someone" blurbs. The fact that you care about family and are supportive can be brought forward in a more unique and inclusive fashion, anecdotes work better than sentences that lead with "I". good luck.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

is honesty the best policy ? Posted: 11/22/2009 11:31:28 AM
OP. If one women you mostly respect doesn't think the pic is fine why not just get more? Please don't take it personally but most of your photos are similar and none are doing justice. It looks like they were shot in a laundromat - the background is bland and you look like someone just removed a molar. Get photos that show your better side, maybe even your best. And nuke the ring - yes its on a pinky but its noticeable and misconstrued. Outside photos are usually better because automatic cameras can adapt when there is lots of light. They're working in a reduced mode indoors. The best pics often have backgrounds that have similar colour temperature. ie. brick walls, arbors, even storefronts. Have fun, (smile, teeth, easy) shoot a few dozen pics while having something casual go on, like picking up bread at a bakery. Try them out in rotation a bit till you get a few that work. It may seem like a lot of hassle for almost nothing, - but the pics need to do their job, which is to show you in a decent light; more or less what someone who met you on a bus ride might see. They're the initial hook. Its not that women don't read the profile but its a distant second.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

I am serious about a relationship that's why I am posting this here. Posted: 11/22/2009 10:34:17 AM
Most younger women search with their visibility off.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 11/20/2009 10:22:27 PM
Your pics, particularly the first four had me smiling more and more. Those alone make the profile work. Text is fine. As said "I"s shouldn't be so common. Also long lists can be tough. Maybe find a few bands that say a lot to you, nix the rest. You address the 'Faith' situation well. Its a difficult matter. I mean - we don't know what you're getting at. You're not likely to be treating that much like Elvis, even though he had a lot of involvement, -- its mysterious. That could be more of a positive if you suggested why or what you found was working with faith, rather than just saying how it was a major portion of your life. How is it? I've a personal bugbear against restrictions. They push the filtering job onto the reader, that reader is hopefully the person you've imagined meeting. Its easier for you to perform that task.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Help an old coffin dodger? Posted: 11/20/2009 9:43:23 PM
H Boho, Your main pic is very good. You're going to get a lot of requests for more pics - but I sorta like it as is. The text has a lot for people to work with. There may be a few homily's in your 'About Me' that don't say a lot about you but most of it is unique. I even went looking to see if Simon Cowell was involved with the Power Rangers. Only thing I'd criticize is the restrictions. They're a challenge to understand when there are many and often guys have picked the selections more or less at random. When you've many it forces people who've built a positive impression to spend long moments trying to grasp whether they're appropriate through some sort of boolean architecture. Its easier for you to understand what you actually don't want, i.e. Delete. eg, I thought "Activity Partner" would help me find someone to canoe with. Things turned out okay with someone who's not keen on the water.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

I am serious about a relationship that's why I am posting this here. Posted: 11/20/2009 9:19:45 PM
It doesn't follow the rules. There are good reasons for the conventions of "don't start lots of sentences with I", "no negativity", "no pics of chicks", "no email address", "no dark glasses". Yet this is a unique sort of profile, you're basically saying 'I've got a lot of chuzzpa, see if you can keep up with me'. It probably works as is.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Alrighty here goes's Posted: 11/20/2009 2:03:42 PM
Locally and for 22 this might work. Still there are a few "must fixes". -- the lol's aren't helping. Its like carting around a purple My Favorite Pony -- a few closeups would help (smiling, teeth, relaxed), along with wider shots that aren't posed; good pics are mostly from outdoors with great lighting. -- The "hope to go to college" isn't helping, best to stick with what you enjoy about what you do now. -- everyone has mentioned spelling. well yeah. That doesn't help Otherwise its good. Might want to add something fun and involving. - there's nothing to really grab a women's attention in a way that she might want to be included, or feel that she could join in. Your interests aren't very chickfocused. Also You must be aware that POF isn't exactly the focus for your age group. There are so many other ways to meet people, both online and in the real, that sometimes there are few people in the pool. Good luck

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Please give me feedback Posted: 11/20/2009 1:35:22 PM
I like it as is. I see so many almost obsessively straight and narrow profiles that its refreshing to see something that's minimalistic but has a lot of personality.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 82 (view)

I have zero experience with older men. Posted: 11/19/2009 5:38:49 PM
OP, I'd say you've reasons for concerns if he's leading you with those sort of statements. Nevertheless lots get into putting down things they're good at. If there really is a problem, ED issues are mostly very easy to solve these days. Being lazy or maladroit - not so easy; but hey you're there to help. Last year my gf would get up to all sorts of antics from the passenger seat. Guys we'd pass would whip up a "thumbs up" and start chasing us on the freeway, pulling out camera phones. I wasn't much worried about performance, either the tires or mine - but I did get her to relearn standard.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/19/2009 2:11:35 PM
While it depends a lot on the female to male ratio in your age group and the number of committed local pof people I'd guess that most guys who've recently created a profile could expect 5 to 30 emails/month from people they don't know. The girls might notice you've Favorited them, are online, didn't get an email recently, match an interest, bantered with a friend on the forums, have a good pic, spoke of an interest they share, or showed up in their personality matches. Having no contacts doesn't say anything about your character; it's sign you've done something weird in your profile. That's not to say that the people emailing are the best of the bunch - but if you're not getting first contact emails something is up in your profile. Many people aren't very selective - if those ones aren't emailing you its bad. A lot of this profile review c**p is only to suggest removing things that are blanket offensive. The term negativity is used, and most everyone says its a bad thing. The main problem with it is that its like dynamite, it takes everything out without any selection. There's a lot of collateral damage. Often there's no hint that the effect people expect will occur has any likelihood of happening. I mean - maybe you've a good reason to be concerned about "users", and frankly I've been ripped off financially myself, but never by a girl I'm seeing or just met; they're way too generous - almost sneaky trying to pay more than their fair share. I don't see any of the people commenting as being pros. Back on the dynamite analogy, I used to hear about how good it was to catch fish. Later I worked a lot with dynamite. We made errors, I took out a whole school that floated downstream over the border from Canada to the US in the Columbia. Two guys I know floated over a falls to their death swimming back from a rock in a stream. Another guy blew his arm off trying to toss dynamite into a river, his hand followed through and hit the firing button. It may all seem like a good idea for fishing but those who've tried don't recommend it.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

What do you think of my profile? Posted: 11/19/2009 5:28:54 AM
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the profile you have. It paints a clear picture. You've very good photos. A guy could anticipate what you're like. You've outlined what's going on and you have some decent approachable topics that you've explained. Still there are other types of profiles and pics. Substituting in other pics more or less experimentally might bring out interests from a different type. Your B/W photos are great but so are outdoor, active pics with punchy deep colours. You have a few closetups that are similar - it might be fun trying a variety of pics to see what reaction they generate. You have elegant poses but there aren't any that are kooky, pensive, austere, mischievous, funky or sporty. As for the text. There's nothing to be critical about. You do emphasize honesty, sincerity, how you treasure your friends. There is a lot more to you. What you're doing as a short anecdote could be worth relating. Have more fun, provide hooks for people to follow up on. One of the reviewers mentioned a while ago that if you mention a few things in detail, particularly interests that other people share, its possible to create the feeling in your readers that they both know you and would get along to a "T". The sense of shared interests seems to bring out the better contacts. Then peeps have a feeling of "Hey, things would be fine with this one - she's a lot like me".

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/18/2009 9:38:28 AM
This is much better. The main photo is kinda brutal but it still might be your best. Its the only one that doesn't look posed. There is no 'most fuzzy' pic award here. However the first date thing about "buying" and "financially responsible" is absolutely negative. Its weird baggage and will offend all women. No one can guess why you'd want to say that - but its ugly and can't do any good. It may be tempting to insert something about an area you care about passionately (money it seems) but the very small percentage that might be guilty of taking financial advantage of guys in dating simply aren't listening (your profile isn't in their radar) - the only ones reading that are the people who are trying to work things out in a sort of shared way. That's a particularly poor place to leave negativity. The "first date" box is best used to establish some sort of positive impression as its at the end of the profile.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

OK - Have at it - I can take it! Posted: 11/18/2009 8:04:05 AM
There's nothing really wrong with the profile. Your pics will attract a bunch on there own without guys even reading what you have to say. If you're interested in specific types of guys or wish to follow up on an activity it might be worth mentioning in more detail. Its sort of strange, lots that wouldn't contact on their own will if they see a streak that truly matches. You'll still get very few contact you based on text alone no matter what you say there - you're hot.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Open Minding Looking for criticism. Posted: 11/17/2009 9:22:32 PM
This drugs discussion is just wandering away from the review. The "Loops", Shushwap, Revelstoke and Sicamous are a summer and winter playground area. Getting arrested for smoking dope is tough to do there. The police are much more concerned about violence related to alcohol, drunk driving, and other serious mayhem. They'll walk right by groups smoking on the beaches because people don't smoke up and then go out to battle with 200 hp seadoos. No one is smoking a doobie on a black diamond run and passing out in a snowbank. Yes smoking dope is "drugs", lets move on.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

just wondering lol Posted: 11/17/2009 8:00:19 PM
POF seems to work differently for younger people. Its difficult to comment on your profile. Still, you asked ... a spell check would help; their vs there, capitals. As for your pics and the "i don't want random hookups" business: even if you didn't have a bunch of hot pics up you'd still get mostly bootie call type emails simply because you can't hide your looks and you are young. Its a free site. Not saying what town you live in will only make it randomness from everywhere. Specific types of guys you're interested in, or stuff about yourself that's more concrete might be worth mentioning. It helps with contacts as it gives people a hook about what might be worth bringing up, asking about. And hey,. I don't know. Its a completely different environment for younger people because there are so many other types of social networking options and regular ways to meet up, like college, Friday nights on the town, Hallowe'en parties, ski vacations, cruises.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Be honest please Posted: 11/17/2009 7:47:53 PM
The pics almost mock the "I'm hanging from a coat rack" look. None are relaxed, impromptu or casual. Its not difficult to get good pics, find someone you're comfortable around, give them the camera, spend half an hour doing really anything outside (buying Christmas ornaments for example) while they take 100 photos. There should be five or six good ones. Even something simple like smiling when you open a letter can make a good photo. The indoor photos have a grainy 1960's Christmas look. To show you can get decked up for an evening maybe imagine that you're walking on stage to introduce a speaker at a banquet, have a few photos where you've dressed up well enough to pull that off with style. Not work type clothes but just decent casual. Work on the pics first. The text needs some editing towards a dating type "About Me" and less like a covering letter for a job. There are too many lists and "I am" such and such. Instead just explain things you do so people can see that you are that way. Still the pics are the main problem.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Would appreciate a critique Posted: 11/17/2009 7:33:22 PM
The pics are good. The text has no problems. Women are reading the profile in order to find something interesting to contact you about. Maybe write in some hooks for them there if you're interested in specific types.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Profile review Posted: 11/17/2009 7:30:45 PM
The minimalist thing can work but you need a much better main pic.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

A constructive review? Posted: 11/17/2009 6:52:17 AM
You could avoid highlighting positive stuff and instead only have positive stuff. The first part of "Ok what I am looking for/or what I am attracted to." is fine. Maybe just keep those two paragraphs.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

20+emails no luck. review please! Posted: 11/17/2009 6:12:05 AM
Maybe try getting a few pics that aren't in an old t-shirt.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Write and re-write Posted: 11/17/2009 6:05:40 AM
Okay, this may seem a little too critical. Your profile does provide a good picture of what you're like, and does have a few solid upbeat characteristics. It could work as is. You're trying to emphasize the following qualities: energetic, funny, caring, protective, honest and trustworthy. However no one enjoys reading lists. Its much more effective to show how you have those qualities through a few chatty and humorous paragraphs about things you've done. A lot of the rest of your profile is borderline negative. There's no reason to mention your cat or that guys shouldn't be looking for sex, or about friends and tall buildings. I've never understood why people want to mention how important friends and family are - it almost seems that they're trying to say, "I like my friends more than you like yours".. While it may seem awkward it does seem you're looking for Dating rather than Friends. I've female friends, they are dating other people. There'd be no harm in eliminating all references to body image. For people who get to know you that won't be what's on their mind when you're spending time together. Its much better to write towards one person that you'd like to hear from - that person doesn't need to hear about any of the negative business. They want to know what you have going on that is fun and inclusive. You do look like you can be a riot to be around. Let that show.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Open Minding Looking for criticism. Posted: 11/16/2009 9:56:14 PM
You stole my camping spot on Shushwap.. As to your question about whether pof works...Frankly I couldn't be happier with the results. A short history: My ex mention the place around the time we broke up - surprised she lasted so long. She was more or less an emergency gf when I found myself getting pressured by a teammate for something... and suddenly I had someone around so I didn't look sorta-single. That lasted a year, we're still in touch, but she'd prefer a guy who speaks her language and .. isn't 1 month younger than her mom. First couple of months I had a bunch of well composed simple emails from women round here. A few good ones that I responded wrongly too.. Most of the rest were in the "I live in a mausoleum with my pekingese dog" zone. Then one of the major pros contacted me to see if I was attending a pof function that her bud was set to go to.. I had a profile setup to find a kayaking partner (which by the way WILL NOT work here).. we adapted and things seem mostly okay. She's stuck through thin, thinner and kinda nasty. Had one other very high quality babe contact me that I met briefly. She made the astute observation that maybe I wasn't available as I had a gf, a bunch of exs and much more complexity. That one reached me because I'd modified my profile to make it almost impossible for a women to match the five or six weird options I'd stated. For the girl that does match it seems they really want to ask "how did you know I was here". Ther've been a few young'uns ping, but I've a suspicion I didn't grasp the bait hard enuf... It's been okay. Certainly nothing good about my profile unless there's some magic significance about guys that like dumpster diving.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:40:11 PM
While you may be sure that pics won't help the opposite is very definitely the case. There are widely varying interests and there will be guys who are looking for you. Do the chemistry/relationship test, post a bit on the forums, comment on threads of local guys you are interested in... .. and get some photos. --Edit-- The business about "I'm not very musically inclined" should be axed. Lets face it.,.. We're at a family reunion, a bunch of us are out of tune singing in the front room, you'd work with the cousin who had a sax to bring make the music fine. Its a skill - work it. -- And don't concern yourself with the virgin label. I was one about 5 years longer than I thought appropriate. Course maybe the other dudes in grade 8 were lying.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

New To This Posted: 11/16/2009 7:37:55 PM
Let's say this was a CSI episode, and some chick was trying to explain who you were just from your profile. She'd be stuck with "well he may have a yellow Camaro or Mustang, had a beard not to long ago, not sure about the rest - he seems to like doing laundry" That's still not bad, but good pics would help first.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

What do guys think DATING means?!! Posted: 11/16/2009 2:34:54 PM
OP, there may be some cultural divide here. I mean, I don't think North American women are oversexed compared to Britain but here Dating means the wild side. Does the word matter? Getting to know someone to find whether there's a connection is part of that but they're no more interested in extending that period for proprieties sake than they are in finding how caramilk bars are made. Women wonder what's going on if the guy artificially keeps them on the hook without initiating or allowing intimate situations to develop. I'd guess most guys know women well that they're not involved with. I have lunch with them, go on waterpolo trips with them, keep in touch - we're not Dating.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

should I forget it? Posted: 11/16/2009 2:13:57 PM
OP. lots of people subscribe to the "no work" dating. Particularly with people who are just starting it frightens a bunch. This is most an issue with unionized situations where folk can be stuck working together for an era or two. However,.. my guess is he's into it but is playing coy. I mean, I was close to a women at my office. Her friends picked up on this and started using that factagainst both of us in all sorts of sly behind the scenes methods. She choose to keep those buds and I decided to play Ms Pacman. Our lab is well suited for that - its almost like a pacman level. I don't think she likes the game - and its juvenile. I'm not the only one who plays with that type of silliness.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

brutal honesty & immediate reactions Posted: 11/16/2009 11:56:29 AM
The "can be played" line is at least attention getting. Its not for the best part of the crowd but it may drag in a few from the wild side. I've certainly done much worse. All in all its not a bad profile - good luck.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

brutal honesty & immediate reactions Posted: 11/16/2009 11:02:07 AM
That's exactly how a jaded & bitter woman would read that...so be it.. Insults hidden in jokes are still insults. Superior attitudes are not moderated by attempts at humour. One of the most prevalent errors made in profile is the notion that a compliment or lame joke can hide a dig or slight. Negativity is just that - there's no 'free zone' where you can hide it by mixing it with positives, lightness or quirky lines.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Marriages the second time around Posted: 11/16/2009 10:44:03 AM
My guess is that he already knows where your intentions lie. Its difficult to be oblivious. If he hasn't followed up any of the hints that have floated along from you or your friends it is by design.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

help me out, what can I do? Posted: 11/15/2009 11:54:00 PM
I'd lose the last three paragraphs. They meander about and don't win any points. While it may seem important to be honest about your intentions that "I'm not sure" business will drop everyone - irrespective of whether they have long term notions or not.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

brutal honesty & immediate reactions Posted: 11/15/2009 11:10:00 PM
The way the 'one in a million' works is when you have specific non-negative statements that a very small set of women identify with. For them its like, "oh my god, how did he know I was returning from Europe, just got my masters, love kayaking, have a great job, need to sleep on the right side of the bed and only drink fresh unclipped tea". You don't have a profile with specifics. Also the 'green light' line implies that if they contact you there's some sort of onus on them to follow through. It doesn't work that way. Who made first contact has no relationship to power plays later on. You'll have to woo them anyway, maybe more. lose that line. Its not helping.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

New to online dating scene- Profile Review Please Posted: 11/15/2009 6:37:03 PM
There's nothing wrong with your profile. Might want to remove the extra carriage returns at the bottom of the text.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Please Review my profile: Posted: 11/15/2009 4:31:25 PM
Good pics would help a lot, YuGo is right on that. Outdoor photos are generally much better because there's a lot more light. Cameras don't compensate well for indoor lighting. Simple webcams take poor photos. Think of almost any comedian, lots aren't that good looking, but they put on a decent shirt, get their hair cut, have a smile when they show up on stage - and have lines of women chasing them. From my perspective everything up to Ok, a little more about me should be deleted. Start with something simple and strong in your first line of your text. The junk that's there now is either negative, unrelated to dating or a bit off kilter. Text that's far downstream doesn't help. ie. Discussing aspects of a relationship that's maybe a year or two in the future generally doesn't work. Women want to know you - not your dad, they're not looking to be involved with your business. Basically there's no way to work around the normal progression of, making contact, exchanging some email and a few calls, meeting, meeting again, dating and then more. You say you don't "jump the gun" then start talking about junk that does. The first paragraph is almost a deal breaker on its own. I don't find women playing games as much as they're just trying to find ways to express what their objectives are - particularly when they diverge from mine. It can't help to state things like "won't play games" or " know's exactly what he wants out of life and everything" is on the far side of brutally honest. Maybe you're doing people a favor to let them know that upfront, but its not bringing in many peeps. Generally you could probably spend some time just stating what you find fun, what you enjoy doing with your spare time. Provide a sense of what you have going on. Get good pics. Two closeups, a few active doing something, have a relaxed easy smile, its not a driver's test.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Is it my pictures? Posted: 11/15/2009 8:49:53 AM
Your profile is decent as is. I'm mostly looking for the completely brutal messes, and reluctant to comment on that basis. However my bud also raised his kids outside PG. They lived for several years in a shack that became their chicken shed. Stayed there till his wife got paranoid about visitors and started firing 30-0-30 missiles over cars. I've always had the impression that left a permanent mark on his two urchins. Take the comments with a bit of caution - I'm not sure how to improve what's already good. Okay, pics would help. You have good ones but they're not great. Maybe its not your thing to get false and glammed up, and its best to be what you are, - still active shots with stylish body hugging clothes, doing something outside, will help. Have something happening that a guy might want to be involved with. We can't see your form in any of the shots, most are closeups or head and shoulders. The guys deserve a few that show you at least as much as someone who rode a bus with you. You have a very nice smile- use it. Photos are 90% of the situation - your text could have a bunch of randomness - you'd still get emails if your photos were awesome. You've several lists. I don't think they help. Maybe just pick a few things and say why they interest you. Provide a handle for someone to understand you better. As the "First Date" business is at the end of the profile its an excellent place to leave a good impression with some sort of activity that you might do six months down the road - mentioning "have a coffee", "go for a walk" or whatever is just wasting that part of the profile. The "take a pic of your license" can probably go. Removing all restrictions doesn't send a message that you're looking for anything from an alien to 18 year old - it just cleans up the profile so people don't have to decipher whether they can make contact.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

ex girlfriends and privacy Posted: 11/14/2009 10:55:45 PM
Snooping takes on new dimensions here. We get oddball questions like, "why didn't you phone me when you were online last night?", "who left a message on your cell", "why is you phone set to vibrate?", "I bet you'd like her to ping you?" and "can I have your passwords so I can fix that?" Simply put the electronic environment makes it easier to casually keep in contact with long lost friends of all types, and to have contacts monitored. OP, as to your question. Well he likely has much bigger fish kicking around in his real life. Women that he actually sees at work, through sport or whatever are probably more a deal. Its easy to focus on the things you can see (and shouldn't) and ignore what you're just unaware of. Sure guys cheat - but snooping to the level you've gone isn't healthy. I keep hearing this business where people assume its best to completely cut out past lovers. Why is that? I don't think my ex's are dead set on getting me back. It would just be weird to ignore them as if they were some type of pariah.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Help with profile pretty pl Posted: 11/14/2009 5:47:09 PM
If you click on Show ALL Forums then > Profile Reviews there are a few pinned posts with many views. Those are the writing tips. Really your profile needs only one thing; good photos. If you see some of the MODs profiles take a look, they're good examples.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

I try, really... Posted: 11/14/2009 2:57:53 PM
OP, just so we're all on the same plan - you're here to rework your profile to spark and fan interest??,. Cause it doesn't seem the objective on first read. I mean, Volvo commercials aren't shot in a closet with two unshaven dudes wearing pajamas droning on about WWII colours, boxy chassis, and endless warranty headaches since Ford took over. You've positives worth emphasizing, eg the graphic artist business and the music hobby. Also you're single, have a vehicle to go somewhere and a place to entertain women. An interest in music is best as an activity - ie. "In Lloydminster every Tuesday this spring we'd start the evening in Alberta rehearsing in the back of the Mennonite Community center, drive four blocks to the Saskatchewan side where we were the house band for open mike night then head back to Alberta for a six am dinner at Denny's. Here in Edmonton I'm in an old home near the river, have to keep quiet at night. I didn't bring the drums, just play the guitar quietly on USB with headphones." That's obviously not true and is a little clinky but something can be made of the music. The photoshop skills have a lot of possibility too - make great pics. Try doing three together in your 8 pics that show a panorama. Put yourself in as the drummer for one of the bands you mention. Fun brings in fun. Quirky or mocking pics do not. On specifics, most of your interests are too generic - they're not searchable, ie, guitar is good, music isn't. Too many sentences start with "I". Pics are 80% of the game - it has to be possible to get a decent camera and find some good pics. There's a big difference between a random indoor shot and punchy full colour pics shot outdoors.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Sweet Dreams...Question for anyone actually... Posted: 11/13/2009 10:51:13 AM
I've seen this happen. Particularly with fine women, its almost like they're commandeering dream content. Their evil side cropping up.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Not 1 email... Posted: 11/12/2009 9:46:09 PM
There's nothing wrong with your profile or pics. You could use more photos and a variety, rotate them in until you find some that work. You're pretty; that will make a difference. Good photos are 80% of this. They don't have to be particularly sexy or revealing but fun and "oh yeah I'd like to be part of that'. Get outside, have something happening and find some great pics. Also while it may be your main point your text does re-reference longterm several times. I don't think that helps filter the best people to contact. From my perspective things that last are built of just hooking up, getting to know someone. ie. make contact, talk a bit, meet a few times, start dating, see how that develops and eventually it may become longterm, or someone else may. Things have to built. The happy couples I know were one night situations to start. An 'only longterm' outlook before first contact seems to deter everyone, including the guys that are naturally set towards sticking with one women. To find someone that actually IS what you're looking for I suggest changing Long Term to Dating, remove all restrictions and the following pieces and maybe rework your sports references with more details. "Myself... well I'm an acquired taste. I aspire to finding that special someone, a best friend that could be my partner for life. I know that sounds corny but I know it exists, I've seen it. If you don't believe then your not ready for true love. So..that's my ultimate goal, What I'm attracted to honesty, integrity, a man who means what he say's & can back it up with his actions." What those changes will do is to bring in more first contacts. From that its up to you to filter people you're not interested in. The restrictive text is putting the filtering work onto the reader. You're asking them to determine whether they are worthy. That's something easier for you to decide.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

It's still not working Posted: 11/12/2009 1:31:30 PM
OP, the people who are putting in comments don't generally know one another. They don't often have the same impression and none of them are trying to be mean. However there are only a few non-critical ways to say, "hey .. this is a little off-putting". Frankly - I dread putting myself up on the block someday. It doesn't look like fun. Still I'd guess that we all know this place works for anyone who's willing to shine a positive light on themselves. From that perspective its worthwhile considering how folk find people here. There are several ways; 1) through the My matches, 2) via personality matching (the % thing that is generated when you do the test) 3) regular searching, 4) from forums 5) subscribers to date-night 6) pof functions 7) no-emails etc. 8) reading their "has looked at me" 9) seeing who is online. The place favors those who have a presence -as in they've put some time into conversing with people and kept their profile fresh by rotating pics and revising text. Anyone who glances at you outside your profile will see your main pic and a short blurb from the 1st line of your profile. Step one is to get them to click and see your whole profile, Step 2 is to get them to go past the pics and read. At that point you're hoping that they contact you, make you a favorite, or they're allowing themselves to be seen and you can tell they've looked at your profile. Some women will temporarily make themselves visible just so they show up on your "looked at me list". If you're sending notes the objectives are similar. Many will just glance at your pic and then decide whether to read the note or the profile or neither. If they're unconvinced they won't send a note saying, "hey,. could you send me more info". They'll just not respond. This place is only to develop a contact, as in someone you're conversing with outside of pofferland. You're getting stymied in the first part of that process: getting someone to respond or even click on your profile. Work on that first. There are millions of good profiles of many different styles. There are only about five poor profiles but lots share them. Your is fine as is but it doesn't put you in the best light. Without pointing out specifics the first problem is that the main pic was shot in a static situation and the first two paragraphs meander around matters that are very downstream (ie. they're worth discussing at some point but not now). Someone looking at the pic wants to see you happy (or at least with some identifiable emotion) doing the sports you talk about or enjoying something. As for the text I'd say that the business about your son's mom and 'siblings are my best friends' might be best covered six months down the road. Getting a better main pic will push people to read your profile. Having something interesting as a first line will get them to read further. Where the profile has trouble is just in the first 5 or six seconds, maybe try to fix up those first. That means have a more active and fun main pic. Make your first sentence count. As far as specifics go. Only the 3rd paragraph is a keeper. State what sport you won a gold medal in. In 1st date talk about something fun to do on a fourth date and remove the "non-threatening environment" business. Remove all restrictions. Get more active pics. Your kid looks fine but he doesn't belong in the pics. Go0d luck.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Need Profile Review Posted: 11/12/2009 1:24:54 AM
Okay guys, let the balloons go; we have a winner in aisle five by the jimmy dean sausages. OP, the site works. Your profile will drag in a few genuine ones. At the moment you're seeing a bunch who email everyone new and a maybe 100 guys like us - entranced by the feisty attitude and business kick-ass pics. There will be good ones too.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Help please! Posted: 11/11/2009 10:11:25 PM
Maybe just set looking for Man or Woman (can you do that?) and ignore all the guys. Or get a few more pics that show off your figure. You're a little boyish and we see that as hot - but you may want to make it clear why that isn't the case all round. Your profile is straight (as in not very frivolous, light hearted or devil-may-care). Lots of "I"s leading sentences. Aside from the Zombie Apocalypse it doesn't have much in it that someone might be able easily to capture as something to share with you. You look sorta glum too - that's not how you really are so well... let variety show thru. Frankly its not a bad profile as is, pics are cute outside and showcase who you are. Could be that this is just POF - its kinda a straight place.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

Everything is moving at the Speed of Light Posted: 11/11/2009 11:41:31 AM
There are hints that matter in our observable universe is being drawn by gravity towards a spot about 46 billion light years away. From that location we are moving three times the speed of light. Without exotic faster than light travel we can never get there. Even if we got on the fastest vehicle (i.e. one going the speed of light) we can only reach the edges of our observable universe, which is where things are moving away at almost the speed of light already. For most purposes there's no value in choosing a reference frame that sets our speed as light speed, but all velocity reference frames are equally valid. They're chosen to make the math easier. If a balloon were covered with jelly and it was bonked a little just as it was being inflated it would be possible to blow so quickly that the wave of jelly rippling on the balloon was slower than the balloon expanding, so the region of disturbed jelly never covered the whole balloon. At least if we kept blowing it up.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Honest Opinion Please Posted: 11/11/2009 10:29:11 AM
OP, your pics are good. You seem a fun person. There are a lot of sentences that start with "I" but its a great profile in any case. If you are looking to rewrite it I'm sure you'll do fine but its okay as is.

privat33r

Joined: 2/8/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Quick question....your first impression? Posted: 11/11/2009 6:53:49 AM
OP, as others have mentioned it seems that guys are just searching for some ploy to get to know you better. As you're good looking and fun they've pedaling the "you must be conceited" gambit. I'd like to say it's juvenile but I had the same theory until I was in my late thirties - then well.. (its a long story).

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