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 Author Thread: 'Make me laugh' seems to be a pretty big deal...
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
'Make me laugh' seems to be a pretty big deal...
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:56:11 PM
Yeah, I don't get it. Girls always laugh when they see me naked, but for some reason the relationship ends shortly afterwards!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How many people to contact
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:01:54 PM
After sending out hundreds of messages, I discovered that sending emails to girls that are online significantly increases your chance of getting a reply.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
beautiful women VS average looking women
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:11:58 PM

...Then they make total fools of themselves by acting like a bunch of moths bashing themselves up against a window to see the light inside.

Or they hit on her best mates and totally ignore her. Gorgeous girls like nothing more than guys with the confidence to totally blow them out. It's certainly a lot different to the "oh your wonderful!" they get every day!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
beautiful women VS average looking women
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:57:21 PM
No it's not true, although being an attractive woman presents it's own set of problems. Like picking a decent guy from the pack that wants to date them. Confidence and arrogance are confused as often as Shyness and insecurity. But attractive girls are never short of a date. Finding a good one is simply a matter of being in the right crowd.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Advice Please
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:48:53 AM
Well, you could tell her that she's really nice, but not the right girl for you. If you get the opportunity, tell her that you're sure she'll meet someone really soon. Throw in an extra "it's not you, it's me" to add extra fuel to the fire. Don't forget to chat up her mates.
At this point, she'll either love you or hate you. But are you sure you want this sort of drama in your life? You'd be much better off with a nicer girl, you know!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Jokes not aloud?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:28:20 AM
I know how you feel. I wrote a funny, but sarcastic profile a while back, and my main image was removed because too many people complained. I had people write to me saying some very nasty things, and when I wrote back to explain the profile wasn't supposed to be taken seriously I realized I'd been blocked!
Edit: In case you're interested, I talked about my six-pack, my software business and the sports car I drove and how all girls should bow at my feet!
The irony was hilarious, but no-one got it :)
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
False profiles
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:16:15 AM
They're not false, just following the age old rule.
Picture, Profile, Message.

That's the order in which you are assessed. So, if you work on your profile, you'll probably find more of your messages get "Read".

And the reason girls don't delete email because they don't have to. It'll go after a month so why take any action?
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 123 (view)
 
So, what's 'wrong' with The Daily Mail and those who read it?
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:31:52 PM

So, what's 'wrong' with The Daily Mail and those who read it?

Because it tells you WHAT to think, not HOW to think. My advice? Get the facts from Reuters, then see what the papers (not just the Mail!) do to them. The truth is out there, but remember who bankrolls your sources of information!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Initiating contact
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:01:42 AM

On a "dating" site, how do men view women who make the first contact?

All the first contact emails I've received have been poorly written from girls that didn't read my profile, had nothing to say and weren't particularly attractive.
I would have loved an email from someone who could actually write! But, I'm a guy so it doesn't work like that. We have to do the chasing or something's gone wrong!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
online dating advice
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:57:25 AM
Golden rule: Meet as soon as possible!

You have no idea who you are really talking to until you meet them in real life. Just keep it safe - go for coffee at the weekend for 15 minutes. That should tell you if you want to date the guy or not.
Sending emails back and forth is just a waste of time.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
girls playing too hardtoget or are they just that way
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:07:49 PM
As everyone else is giving grief, I thought I'd join in :)

Great profile + amazing pics + interesting first email = a response one time in 20. That's utter crap as far as I'm concerned, so don't waste your time here. Go to somewhere like meetup.com and find a group of people with common interests that meet socially. You're much more likely to meet someone through those contacts than a dating site.

As you can see, girls have their guard up against anyone they perceive as "whiney". Which ironically means only the "bad boyz" get any kind of success here because they don't care about rejection. Nice guys do care, so just go somewhere else.

No-one's doing anything to help nice guys gain a little confidence. People here would much rather tear them down. Do a thread search and see just how nasty it can get, and don't take it personally. It's what PoF is like right now!

Seriously girls, try something constructive!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Best Way to Approach a Girl on a Bus
Posted: 10/15/2009 2:01:24 PM
Best way to approach is with confidence and not from behind. Other than that, nobody really knows!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating in a new area
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:56:51 PM

It's a known fact that some if not most women are turned off by men who are separated.

It's also a known fact that some, if not most women are turned ON by men who are married!

It's a funny old world :)
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
what the hell is he thinking
Posted: 10/3/2009 3:22:14 PM
I'm going to translate :)


I really need some advice. I met a guy on here a year and a half ago. Things started on a casual basis, but after a few months started to get serious. Then he finished it, saying that he wanted to see other people. I acted fine with this, but inside I was gutted. After a week, he started texting me again and things ended up back on track.
Last month, he again said he wasn't sure it was what he wanted, so to save my pride I said that it was fine, that I'd guessed that was what he was feeling and I was thinking of seeing someone else - childish I know. Then, he gets scared and acts like an idiot.
Things have been great, but where we used to meet one night due to the fact we both work shifts, he says he is playing football.
Am I being paranoid or should I just walk? Can I just say that I really do love this guy and I'm the person he has been with longest.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
My own worst enemy....help!
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:25:11 AM
Have you written a first contact email to anyone yet? It sounds to me like you've only been considering the guys that have written to you, who most likely have written to everyone! Some of those guys will go out on lots of dates with lots of girls. Most never get a date, and leave before doing so.

Have a search around, send a few messages to guys that fit the bill and see what happens!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Should I set a limit??
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:02:56 AM
Here's what you need to do to improve your online dating experience:-

Change your body type from a few extra pounds to average. Twelve weeks down the gym should show dramatic results!
Get a professional photograph taken. Preferably one with you smiling with a wooly jumper on with a dog in the background. God I hate that cliche, but it remains one of the most effective.
Remove all negativity from your profile and make it quirky/funny. Then get it reviewed for final polish.
Write only to girls that have similar interests and a matching profile.

If you do all this, and do it well, you can then look forward to 1 reply in 20 emails!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What Does She Want From Me? Ex Girlfriends
Posted: 9/29/2009 12:00:42 PM
Just thought I'd shove my 2p in. Excuse me...

The OP sounds like he's emotionally mature enough to handle the breakup. I think he's done rather well by not rising to the bait from the "OMG You're a stalker!!1" posts. Some people here confuse straight talking with rudeness, so just bear in mind whose advice you listen to, and where they're coming from.

In the meantime, keep up those new things you're doing! They might not lead to another relationship, but they're a lot more fun than hanging around PoF!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How do i get past my shy self?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:49:57 PM
Hit the gym, and hit it hard! Use that rowing machine like you were on the Titanic, and some **stard is gonna steal your boat if you don't move quick enough!
Lift some weights, and lift 'em high. Set yourself some tough goals and when you achieve them I guarantee one thing. You won't care about your weight anymore.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
i send lengthy messages back. what do i do?
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:04:44 PM
Stop writing messages and ask her out!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How do I ask for her name?
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:20:48 PM

Is there a good, acceptable and non-invasive way to get this info from them?

Yes - indirectly. "What's your name?" is rather intimidating out of the blue, so maybe if she's looking at something in the supermarket, say "that's bad for your health, you know!" just to strike up a conversation. Once you've established this (people are much more forgiving than you'd think!) introduce yourself. You can ask her name after that.
Edit: Seems like the poster above me has the same idea, so it's probably good advice.

Easier said than done, though!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How did he think?
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:07:28 PM

I have very very little feeling with him,he is not my dream Mr right anyway.

He realized that you weren't going to be interested in him, so he decided to pursue somebody else!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Am I just looking in the wrong place???
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:55:07 PM

i thought the whole point of online dating was to get to know someones personality via talking

It's the opposite - online dating is much more superficial than real-life dating. Let's face it, all we really have to go on is a picture. Anything else can be made up (at least, for a little while!)
So yes, you're probably looking in the wrong place, but don't worry - there's places like meetup.com. Just don't expect there to be many singles there, but it is a lot more fun :)
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
how do you choose when your a 6?
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:58:57 PM

I am a 6 not ugly, not pamela anderson and would like to get to know and date someone. I want to post to someone who is attracted to me and not insulted that I think I would have a chance with them. How do I choose someone that is going to be interested. Seriously, no self pity, I am confident in who I am just not sure how to test the water.

Come on, out with it. How many messages have you sent? We want to know!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
My Boyfriend...
Posted: 9/11/2009 5:13:01 PM

If it's in stores, it could just be her trying to make a sale.

Ooh, spot on!
It's a very common sales technique. An attractive girl says "I'm getting one of these for my boyfriend" and it really does bump up the sales around 40% It's a tried and tested technique!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
POF isn't helping me at all lol
Posted: 9/11/2009 5:04:47 PM
It is rather weird, isn't it? Anyway, I overheard a girl at the gym talk about her PoF experiences, and I knew I recognised her from her photo. She was having a great time, but couldn't work out how to choose from the many men that had emailed her.

Frankly, when I look at the women that have emailed me, I'd rather stay single!!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
BOO WHOO!
Posted: 9/5/2009 11:51:30 AM

100 emails is alot, either there is something wrong with his approach or he just isn't attractive

Or he's only emailing very attractive women. Personally, I can't imagine emailing any other kind, which is why I have so few dates!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I need an opinion here..should I call bull or what?
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:28:49 AM
Whatever his reasons, you can be certain that he doesn't want to pursue the relationship any further. Don't beat yourself up about it - move on to the next one.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
OK, I'm fat but how's the rest of my profile?
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:48:52 PM
I think it's a really good profile, with a very good use of vocabulary!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
check out my profile! :) Constructive criticism appreciated :)
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:45:45 PM
I'll second the advice about scrapping pictures of you with girls. Some girls will instantly dismiss a guy's profile if there are any girls in them at all! Although to be perfectly honest, you probably don't want to date girls like that anyway!

Careful with the self-advertising. Your link to your website might get your profile into trouble!

Also, I'd add a section about the kind of girl you are looking for. What sort of qualities are you looking for?

Good luck!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
A work in progress
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:40:46 PM
Profiles are better when they flow like a conversation, rather than the staccato effect you get from a few disjointed paragraphs and lists of things you enjoy.


i love to laugh

An old cliche. Doesn't everyone?

Anyway, take those things out of their lists and expand on them. Tell us about your dog, or something that happened on a road trip you went on.

Profile writing is the art of showing people about yourself, without actually telling them explicitly. Saying you like music is not as good as telling us about a concert you were at.

Hope that helps!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What Is The Profile For ???
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:56:34 PM

It shows to me that you looked at the pic read nothing and e-mailed me.

Yep, that's what profiles are for - filtering out the guys that can't be bothered to read them!

Interestingly enough, it's also the first thing that gets read when a guy sends a message. In order of importance, it's picture, profile, email. So, if the picture is good enough, the profile gets read. If the profile is good enough, the email is read. A reply might even happen, but I've never heard of such a thing!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is this sincere or a nice way for a woman to say no thank you
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:43:15 PM

Is this a persons way of saying no thank you?

Yep, sure sounds like it!

One thing you should take away from this message is that you have to get in there quick before their diarys start filling up!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Hmmm don't seem to get much luck
Posted: 8/22/2009 5:36:03 PM
Internet dating is a little broken at the moment! Until then, I'd suggest speed dating. You always have fun and you actually get to meet people. With internet dating, you spend most of your time infront of a computer trying to connect with someone. Stuff that for a lifestyle!

People also recommend meetup.com as a way of meeting like-minded people, but it's not a dating site so be prepared to meet the girl of your dreams... and her boyfriend
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Hidden/no Picture
Posted: 8/8/2009 10:16:42 AM
Interesting question. It'd be nice to hear from some people that don't have a picture up! Anyone out there?

I'm just taking a guess that women without pictures get far less nasty emails, so they keep them down and try to meet a good looking guy that's interested in them for something other than their physical appearance.

Am I right or wrong?
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why would someone email me, get my reply, then disappear?
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:41:40 AM
^^^ Because there's a load more guys where you came from!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
An Apology to the Ladies
Posted: 8/8/2009 5:28:21 AM

Now, I figure there are at least a dozen people waiting to call me some names so I'll let them get to it.

I'd be one of them. You shouldn't have to apologise for the actions of other men. And if PoF is so polluted that you can't expect a simple reponse, then it's not worth bothering with IMHO.
"Hi wanna chat - you look gr8" is the kind of thing girls should be "not responding to", not a well-written email from a guy whose taken a genuine interest in your profile.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Would you date a neighbor?
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:44:38 PM
Sure, why not? You don't have to spend a great deal of time with your neighbours, do you? Work is different - you can be forced together for hours at a time.

So date your neighbour!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
are all the woman on here just plane vile
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:09:26 PM
For goodness sake, don't lower your expectations. The last thing you want is to meet a girl and think "hey, I lowered my expectations for you!"

Read the blurb they advertise this site under. Something like 18,000,000 people are on PoF and they go out on 15,000,000 dates. I've no idea how accurate those figures are, (or if I got them the right way around) but it averages around 1 date per year per person. That's for Mr. Average.
Miss Hot gets anywhere between 20-70 emails per day (rough estimate based on other forum posts) and as many dates as she chooses to accept.

She also gets a lot of hassle from guys like you, OP. I can only hope that you chose to vent your frustrations here, rather than at some of the people you were writing to. Writing nasty emails only validates what they believe - you shouldn't reply to a guy you don't immediately fancy.

Perhaps you could be forgiven for not realizing how much the odds are stacked against you in PoF. But a little research isn't too much to ask for. Now go ahead and find out the average rate of reply for guys emails yourself!

And take some time out of internet dating!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
My Ex-husband died, what to do?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:05:35 PM

Please understand I loved this man with all my heart

That's why they say love is blind. You care about someone not because of the things they do, but in spite of them.

I wouldn't worry too much about his passing. Rather I'd concentrate my efforts on those that are living, such as your daughter and yourself.

And please try and meet someone nice next time!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do's and dont of messaging for first time
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:32:46 PM
DO
Go out and have fun in real life!
DONT
Expect anyone to reply to your messages!

And expect loads of people to complain about you not doing a thread search (which isn't really the issue - there should be a sticky - THATS the issue!)

 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
asking for phone number more than once, is it creepy
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:31:40 AM

Personally I would have ignored your message to ask for my number as well because I never give my number to a guy first. All guys that get to talk to me give me their numbers first.

I don't give out my number because it's always ended in a chat-line scam. I find it annoying when I get a text message at 3:00am saying there's someone hot and horny that wants to meet me (only £1 to reply - must buy minimum of 10 replies)
Anyway, don't ignore the request, give the guy a reason why not. And don't go expecting guys to give you their number, because how do they know you're not a chat line scam?
My point is, meet in public just for 15 minutes - coffee or something - as soon as you can. At least that way you know there's a real person behind the keyboard!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Send a gift? Huh?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:57:13 PM
Whatever you do, never EVER send a rose.
For a whole month, girls will look at your profile and think, "Well, he didn't send that to me, so I'm obviously not his first choice!"

Yeah, online gifts are totally lame.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:39:57 PM
Personally, I've always discovered that the location is more important than what I say.

If I try to meet girls at a bar, I can't get a response to a simple question.
If I try a evening class, conversation flows easily.
If I try going to Tango, the girls start conversations with me.

My advice? Don't approach someone on a night out unless you know someone in their group, or are willing to put up with a LOT of rejection.
And if there's more guys and girls, go somewhere else!
 Brainsandbrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:09:48 PM
Nope, you're not doing anything wrong! PoF works for some people and not for others.
It sure as hell don't work for me!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
offline question
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:59:22 PM

Ask her out, if she has a boyfriend she will say so.

There is no need to ask if she has a boyfriend/husband/SO, she will let you know when you say " I'd really like to set up a coffee or lunch date with you, I enjoy your company and would like to get to know you better"

Why ask two questions when you can ask one?

My thoughts exactly!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
need some closure...
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:42:14 AM


I'm sorry you got hurt. If it's any consolation, it happens to everyone.

I used to think the best thing to do was to pick myself up and go find someone new. With 10 years of hindsight, I realize that this was wrong. What you need to do is concentrate on YOU for a while, rather than looking for somebody else. Develop your career, interests and keep yourself busy. Once you become happy enough with your life, you won't care about guys so much. Which oddly enough is when you meet them the most.
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ladies, I could use a helping hand
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:13:06 PM

...I should have been a little more clear in my original post

Something I'm doing just isn't working.

If I came across as lacking confidence...
Stop apologizing for who you are, grow some nuts and ask that gorgeous girl out on a date! If she says "no", find a better looking one!

It's not rocket salad!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Men expected to pursue w/o return messgs or bdy lnguage to read?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:31:33 PM

Learn to use thread search......if you post redundant threads you may not be allowed to post again for awhile.

The whole "why don't people respond to messages" is a horse long dead and still gets kicked, beaten and stomped on regularly.

And girls still think that by writing nasty replies saying "do a thread search you idiot!" that the problem will go away.
Nice place PoF, isn't it?
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Men expected to pursue w/o return messgs or bdy lnguage to read?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:19:21 PM
(type [ quote ] whateverthelastpersonsaid [ /quote ] without the spaces in the square brackets!)

I gave up on the expectation of meeting someone through PoF a long time ago. I still send out the odd email, but only to girls that I'm really attracted to and match really well. It's such a shame I never hear back from them, but we do have a good giggle about it!
 BrainsAndBrawn
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I am a honest jerk
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:08:20 PM
Oh for heaven's sake, be yourself and stop second-guessing what you think other girls want you to be. Grow some nuts!
 
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