online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 77 (view)
 
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 11/24/2009 12:23:37 AM
What is wrong is that if you have not found somebody before you turn 30, then it is all over
I was told that when I grew up, and it is true
I know, I never was able to attract a woman before I turned 30, and now that I am 41, I still can not attract anyone, and I am sure that I never will be able to
That the way things work
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 380 (view)
 
38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 11/23/2009 11:02:03 AM

it gets harder as you get older because past experiences can leave you less trusting and more guarded

What past experience, I was never able to attract woman, nor can I do it now.
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 376 (view)
 
38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 11/23/2009 10:41:26 AM
As I said before, when you are over 30 years old, it is too late to find someone.
If you have not done so earlier in life, you will never be able to do it
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 358 (view)
 
38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 11/12/2009 7:31:18 AM
I was told when I was in my teens that if you do not find somebody by the time that you turn 30, then it is over
I know from experience that it is true, I never was able to attract any woman before I turned 30, and still even today I stiil can not attract any

SO YES at 38 IT IS TOO LATE
take my word for it
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:09:42 PM
It is pretty much loke it was when I was in my 20s, and what it is now that I am over 40s
The only thing that changed are the numbers that mark my age, and nothing else
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 107 (view)
 
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:19:23 AM

yes, dating is much harder now. Men want younger chics

And for men that are interrested in woman there own age, well unless he is very good looking, and/or has extremely high university degree, well woman will not even look at him, and much less want anything to do with those men
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:14:20 PM

u.s. school and graduated

WHat good is it to have a foreign degree if you can not use it

And beside, by the time that I get a degree, I will be lucky to be only 60years
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:27:53 PM

Are you saying there are no women anywhere near you?

I did not say that there were no woman, I said that those that are around here all have university some degree and are not even interrested in somebody like me.

That is just the reality of things
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:24:32 PM

it's never too late to go to school if it's a worry...even if it's part-time
You can not get to go to university without high-school, and since I can never graduate from high-school, I will never be accepted to higher level of education

BTW, the reason that I can not graduate from high-school is because they require to be able to pass sport class, but due to a physical problem I can not do sport, but since I can walk, therefore the handicap that I have is not recognize by society since 99% of those with that handicap can not walk
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:10:02 PM

If you are 35+ and have no ties or obligations (family, financial or otherwise) from a former relationship I would think it would be even easier to get out and meet someone

And just how do you suggest that we do that when there is nothing available out there.

All the women that are out there have some kind of university degree, and some of us men have barely high-school, there is not even a glimmer of hope for a guy like that, since no women would even want anything to do with somebody like that. Not that I am blaming them, but the end result is the same, and when you are over 40, it is too late to get anything to compete with those that have university degrees
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Does life really begin at 40??
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:40:44 AM

So long as you are not doing the same thing at 40 that you did at 20 then yeah

Do not forget that at 40, you have about 2/3 of you life already over, and all that is left is that you only are getting older and less capable for everything
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:45:33 AM

Consider this, if you work all evenings

First of all, I do not work evening, I work overnight, and there is not much I can do about it, since there is not that many choice of work for somebody that barel;y finish high-school.
As for the rest, I just scare woman, which make sense since I make Frankenstein look like Miss Universe
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:34:14 PM

ladyland

Where is that, I never saw that location on any maps ?
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:01:41 PM

not to pick on you, but i was using those who pursued high level degrees as aan example, and you don't have one, neiter you mention other life circumstances that kept you too busy for a relationship. In that case, you might be part of the stats that OP had mentioned,but again, you're not 85 yet

I barely finish high school, and could never go to any high learning level since I can not graduate from high school due to physical limitation, so high level degree was never a problem.
The main problem that I can see with me is that I make Frankstein look like Miss Universe compare to me.
And whether or not I am 85, the fact remain the same, I never was able to attract, and never will be.
Also it well known that over 30 it not possible to find a mate, in most case it will only last a few years nothing more serious than that
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Is it too late?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:43:16 PM

Yes, too late - roll over and die. Of course it's not too late. The aricle was probably stating that this happens typically, but not always. Also, did they mention any other demographic factors, like the educational level of their study subjects, their income level, occupation, and so on? Cause it's also known that those who pursue advanced degree tend to marry later in life

Apeaking from experience, if you have not found someone by the time that you are 30, then you will never find someone.
I now I never found anyone before I turn 30, and I still have not found anyone, nor can I attract any woman
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 149 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:21:53 AM
Well, we were three children, and we never ever had a babysitter because our parents wanted to go out, our dad was working most of the time and our mother stayed home to raise us.
None of us ever had a sleep over, my older sister died childless 15years ago, and the other one she has 3 children and she and her husband are still together and they never got a babysitter because they wanted to go out, when they go out it is the whole family, neither of them would even think of doing something like getting a babysitter because they wanted to go out to have fun.
Both my sister and her husband are very happy together (over 20years) and so are the kids

Trust me if you ever get the chance to put those views into practise

I could never have kid(s), I was sterilize when I was 16 for medical reasons
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 146 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:36:21 AM

They get a babysitter

How could anyone let somebody else raise their own kid(s)
I know that if I could get any, I would not let somebody else raise him/her, that would be exclusive to me and my girlfriend and nobody else.
Babysitter is ok when the parents have to work at the same time otherwise getting a babysitter so that they could do whatever, life is not a big party like most people these days seems to think it is
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 144 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:14:00 AM

Partnered parents go out on 'dates' with each other all the time. And they *should*. Single parents are no different

That i just not true, all of the parents that I know do not go out on date, since they do family thing which include the kid(s). So if the parents that are still together do have the time to "date", then how could a single parent since they must do a lot more for the kid(s) since there is only one at the time and not two
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 142 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:52:12 AM
I did not choose not to have children, I simply can not have any.

I never said that there is no room for the relationship, I said that the kid(s) has to come first, and it is the job of both parent within their relationship.
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 140 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:49:08 AM

Honestly, what a ridiculous thing to say. Does this belief of your apply to partnered parents too?

Yes, parent are just that parents once they have the kid(s). The kid(s) must come first and foremost
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
NEW View Matches Based On Personality!
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:47:10 AM

After you look at a profile, use your "back" button and you will return to the page without refreshing it.

Welcome to your forties!!!

I does not work, even when I do a "BACK", the whole thing is just refreshing and then everything is all screwed-up, and I do not know from there who I checked or not
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
NEW View Matches Based On Personality!
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:22:19 PM

I don't believe there is a 'sort' option at this time. It changes because of when someone was last online. Hope this helps. :)

Not really, because when ever that change (every seconds it seems), I do not remember who I check, and I have to restart all over again everytime that I check one.

I there a way to prevent it from changing then
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
NEW View Matches Based On Personality!
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:13:46 AM
I still have not found how I can sort the list, I looked everywhere.
Somebody said that it is always the same people, but I have no idea at all about it because everything keep changing places everytime that I refresh it, so I do not know who was there, who was not there, If I could sort the list, it would be easier to remember who was and who was not there
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 127 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:09:43 AM

There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not. Just looks like you aren't one of them

One thing that I do not understand, is why would anyone (man and woman), who already have kid(s) would need to date.
If you already have kid(s), you must first think of them, so there would not be time to date at all
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 99 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:14:05 AM
Well when I was younger, I was told that if by the time that you turn 30 you have not found anyone, then you never will.

And speaking from experience, I can tell you that it is true, I never found anyone before I turned 30, and I still can not find anyon, so I have decided that enough is enough and just gived it up
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 67 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 10/3/2009 7:18:28 AM
The more I see things on this site and the more I realise that I am both way too old and way too dumb to begin this dating thing

Too old: I have never dated before, and I realise that I am too old to learn any of it

Too dumb : I barely have finish high-school, and everybody here as at least some university, so no-one would be interested in someone like me

Thanks to all of you who helped, but unfortunately that was all for nothing
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 66 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:20:16 PM

1) Lose the glasses, in pics and in real life. Get Laxic, I got it. It's a miracle come true.
I need glasses to see, I have some nerve and a muscle dead in one eye, there is no other way
[qutoe]2) Start exercising, get a membership or something to get out more
A spina bifida, prevent anyone from any kind of excersise, except in my case walking, which I do to go to work everyday

4) Take up ballroom dancing.
see above

5) When with a pretty woman... any woman, ask questions about her, have a genuine interest in her. Comment on her, something nice.

I would like to di that, but it is very hard to when you are always alone

6) Have a genuine interest in something... anything. I met a woman when I simply asked about wine, which I know nothing about. She gave me the "close in, brushing elbows, hand on shoulder" conversation. And I just asked about wine. Sheesh! This happens all the time. ALL the time, and I'm no Han Solo or Brad Pitt either.

I do not know how to get a conversation started, so when I go shopping, I do strictly what I need to do, and then go back home
[quote}Women are just dying to talk to someone a) cute/handsome b) with a personality of something with opposable thumbs I am just the opposite, even Frankenstein look like a supermodel compare to me

c) not a Jeffrey Dalmer.
Who is that ????
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:02:18 PM

Aspergers Syndrome (did you ever get a formal diagnosis?)

No, I can not get a family doctor, the only thing that I can get is a walking clinic, but they do not do that kind of thing, I was told to get myself a family doctor, but in Ottawa, it is impossible to do
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 62 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:52:26 PM
I do not really understand what you wrote but never the less I pasted it in the profile

As for the photos, I do not even have a webcam, that would be the same as having my pictures taken
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:24:59 PM

You still need to get someone to take some photos of you, casual shots, smiling head/shoulders shot, possibly one or two outdoors. This is really important so it doesn't give only one impression of you.

Sorry there is no one to do that, nor will I let anyone try to either, I hate having my picture taken. Beside my picture would just scare people away


Maybe we can add a line or two in there about your qualities that make you unique...

I do not know of anything to say
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:36:05 AM
I tried just about everything, but I still can not understand how I can attract

I think that I am too horrible looking or something like that to be able to attract anyone

Nothing is even happening, even on this site
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:09:04 PM
I did expected it, since I was never able to attract any girl/woman in my life, and I am still not expecting finding anyone, why would anything change now that I am 41
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:31:03 PM

R U kidding- only 30 and too tired already? Do you feel you will not have energy left at say 40 or 45. If thats the case, concentrate on finding some sports to play and get your game on. What happens if you snip it and find the girl you want, then the whole thing becomes an issue. As far as this girls point of view ... well you just made a decision that two people are suppose to make, without having even met the one. Who knows- you may even meet someone who gives you more energy then you ever dreamed you would have. A good mate will make you soar. Giving up when your 50 may be an option, seeing you dread taking care of kids in your 40's. You will see- you can have as much energy as you care to have- provided you take care of yourself. By the way, if you like kids and are old enough to have partied like an animal in your youth, raising kids when you have the correct mindset (older and wiser) may be ideal.

I my experience, if you have not found anyone when you were in your 20s, then you will never ever find anyone, because past 30 you too old to be of any interess to anyone, since they are already have found someone
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Is dating at 40 just a bad idea?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:05:15 AM
I do not fear my age at all, I am just saying that I do not see what is the big deal about dating, if that what it was

Since I have never been on a date, I have nothing to compare with, but what happen when I met with that lady was nothing to get me dating ever again, if in fact it was a date.

What I meant is that begining something like that (dating) at 40 is a bad idea
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Is dating at 40 just a bad idea?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:58:06 PM
I would say that it is

I met a lady a few weeks ago, and if what we had was a date then I do not understand why people are going crazy about getting one.

Since I never had a date before I can not make any comparison, but I do not think that I would like to do this again

Definitely dating (or begining to) over 40 is not a good idea
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 3:00:03 PM

Dating is like a job interview

I never had a job interview, so I would not know how to compare the 2
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 53 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 2:40:17 PM

Holy smokes, OP ... what a transformation. I know you had a little assistance with this .. and I've got precisely one guess who :) ... but, hey, who cares? It looks great! Now all you need is to improve your picture situation and life can be good. Nicely done

Thanks, but you are right the credit goes to "You go First", and before I used it I did wrote her to ask her permission to use it
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 2:27:32 PM

You have set restrictions on who can contact you. YOU did that, your profile says that only women between the ages of 25 and 41 can email you

I did not know until a few minutes ago how to changed those setting in the mail, I may have done that when I created the account I do not remember because there was a lot to do when creating it and most if it just confused me and the cherry on the sunday was that damn profile and some kind of test that I do not even know what I answered.

So to make it clear I just received an e-mail telling how to do it
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:08:12 AM
Tracy I do agree that you tried to help, but (and I do want ot make an excuse) I do have problemin discribing myself when I talk, and it is almost impossible for me to put it in writing, and I do have problem putting anything in writng even in school when ask to write about something I never was able to do so even in my first language and honestly I do not know what I could put that would be seen as positive since I do not know how to discribe myself at all
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 41 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:35:08 AM

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that this guy still lives in his moms basement?

Tracy I have not lived with my parents since I turn 18, and it would be even harder for me to live in their basement since they are both in a cimetery, and been there for quite awhile now

I have just ask for help and you have been calling names, I do not think that I was impolite with either you or any of the other posters. But most of the posters have begun to make judgement on me without even knowing me.

No offence intended on any of the posters, but being judgemetal is not helping somebody at all, my question was and is still genuine, and when I am saying that I never dated it is the truth even in high-school I never was able to get close to a girl much less being able to ask one out
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:28:26 AM

I saw that you RSVP'd to go to the local POF event in April, did you actually GO?

No I did not go, I felt that it would not of been my place, being all alone there with just stranger in a setting that I do not know I would of probably just panic

Do not get me wrong I work with the public since I began working at the age of 16, but being in that kind of setting (POF Event) is not the same, people have expectation which I do not know if I could meet them
 Rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:12:22 PM
You ant me to lie to attract someone, not really a good way to get around this, and YES I do live by myself since I turn 18, and I do work since I was 16
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Is dating at 40 just a bad idea?
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:03:13 PM
Well basically when you turn 40, you are consider over the hill (too old to do anything), so chances are that you will never find anybody of consequences when you are over 40
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:46:38 PM

You have been given excellent advice

I have just updated it with some of her advice
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 25 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:34:10 PM
I am looking for help on how to attract someone, and all you did is basically told me that I need to be incarcerated in a mad house.

I have not seen anything beside the first post by Tracyannk, and I do not understand how the music, movie, book, where I grew up, etc... could help
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:26:03 PM
In Ottawa, all event are for two, if you are showing to any event single people look at you as if you are from Mars or something, and all those event happens on weekend, which I have to work
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:22:24 PM
You are in the wrong, I am looking for between 30 and 41.

I would be very surprise if any one would intersested to me if they 41+ (and even youger for that matter)
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:17:56 PM

if you really, honestly, feel that way, then I think you need to seek professional counseling. There are a lot of self-esteem issues going on here, and possibly some depression as well

It is nothing like that, I am not depress nor do I have low self-esteem, it is just the reality of things.
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:12:11 PM

And as far as what kind of women do you want? who cares what we're looking for? what are YOU looking for

I am looking for a woman, I will start with that and then I might find out wether she fit in
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:09:58 PM

1. You make sure you constantly nurture your social life so that you can meet women out in the real world

I can never meet woman in the real world, they all run away, and if I am even slightly interested in one I simply do not know what to say. Beside when people go out (Friday and Saturday), I am working, in the past ten years I never had a weekend off


Send initial contacts telling her what she wrote in the profile that interested you and asking her about it - that's a no brainer if you're interested in more than the pic, it will be a natural thing to ask her about what's written there

Every time that I wrote to one I either do not get any answer or they barely answer to what I ask and then it stop right there

I am begining to believe that there will never be anyone for me, there never was before, sowhy would it change now
 
Show ALL Forums