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House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Please .......Any Advice? Posted: 5/3/2009 10:08:50 PM
Its hard to push people that are bad for you out of your life but once you do know that they ARE bad for you then you can't pretend to be ignorant of the fact. I know how you feel you see their face in your head and I think maybe if this hadn't happen or if something else had happened another way everything would be good but you would be fooling yourself. I've known a woman I thought was perfect for me and I don't know that I will ever love someone as much as her but knowing nothing good would come from my continued interaction with her I cut all ties. Yes I still want to contact her but I won't do it you just have to move on with your life. You have to be alright with being on your own without them. Its better to actually be alone and feel a little lonely then be in a relationship and still feel alone because someone won't treat you right.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Here is a real good question Posted: 5/3/2009 9:40:29 PM
If gay men are who they are and can't help it I would say its only fair to say straight men are who they are and wouldn't be any different. So no it wouldn't change anything for straight men.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Just wondering if its a guy thing ANAL sex Posted: 4/26/2009 12:44:24 AM
OP Its not a sure thing he is going leave you because of the fetish. It depends on how important it is to him and only he knows that. I'm not belittling everything else you do for him but we are humans we want what we want and sometimes will accept no substitute. To that end be prepared is what I'm telling you even if he doesn't mention it to you anymore it doesn't mean his desire for it has magically gone away.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

I'm SO PRETTY! Posted: 4/26/2009 12:29:45 AM
I'm a fan of humble people. So I agree with the original poster but men are not alone in their guilt of vanity. Plenty of women do the same thing in not exactly the same way.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Just wondering if its a guy thing ANAL sex Posted: 4/26/2009 12:23:57 AM
What turns us on sexually is not really something we can put away or hide. Some people like to be smacked during sex, some have a foot fetish, some need to roleplay. My point whatever your fetish is be anal or whatever its not likely to go away its part of you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do but nothing you say is going to make him lose his desire to do it. So prepare yourself if he doesn't do it with you he may find someone else to fulfill his fetish.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

What's this new trend all about? Posted: 4/26/2009 12:17:23 AM
As been mentioned before it does work to get men laid. Getting laid is a top priority for men so it will be something that they pursue. I'll take that a step further. NO MAN wants to be the super nice guy who is sweet and come to find out the girl he wanted ended up getting with the jackass and screwed his brains out. Women can't really get or understand that feeling or maybe don't even care. When I tell them about how men feel when they chose the bad boy over the good guy they sort of get this blank stare on their faces.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 352 (view)

do any girls actually want nice guys? Posted: 4/17/2009 2:45:07 AM
Womens realm of attraction is based subtle signals that alot of "nice guys" don't know how to send out. I'm not promoting some how to pickup chicks seminar but some of that people that do those things have valid points. Women absolutely want nice guys but on a subtle level they want "swagger" which more of the bad boys tend to have. There is hope though you don't have to throw away all the good up bringing your parents put into you just to have "swagger" you just need some attitude adjustment.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Momma's boy's and Whine tits Posted: 4/17/2009 2:17:32 AM
If they are getting no responses I think they are worried that women here aren't real. I thought that for awhile when I first came here but I can say to those guys the women here are real. I've got my share of read/delete but I've also met some real nice ladies and hell you can't really complain about a free service. For free this site is pretty badass.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Grrrr....Inconsiderate GF Posted: 4/17/2009 2:08:27 AM
There seems to be a huge maturity difference in the two of you. I think its better you found out now then later down the road. She may change in the future and realize how foolish she was acting but don't waste your time waiting for that.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

FEELING INTIMIDATED BY THE GUY IM DATING Posted: 4/17/2009 2:00:33 AM
Here is the thing you have met a quality person. Don't do something foolish like sabotage the relationship because he has alot of positive things going on. There are some incredible people out there they have model like good looks, have a masters degree, feed the homeless, DJ on the weekends and for some reason find us normal people attractive. What we have to do is step our game up and let them be our inspiration.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Do men pay attention to / care about a woman's profession? Posted: 4/17/2009 1:47:36 AM
For the most part no. Financial stability and income aren't really determining factors for guys. That's really an unheralded great thing about guys we are not really attracted to women for the money. However that great thing may get overshadowed by some shallow reasons we are attracted to women.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Am i being unreasonable? Posted: 4/17/2009 1:36:01 AM
Nothing wrong with belated birthdays. See her the day after and spend time with her if that's possible. When you know that if you spend time around certain people it will upset you then don't. You are just gonna bum everyone at the party out and they will feel uncomfortable that you are uncomfortable.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Men with multiple girlfriends, men who never stop looking... Posted: 4/14/2009 7:39:33 PM
I'm going to defend that behavior but hear me out. Way back in the early days of man the life expectancy of his children and wife for such harsh living were low. So what nature did was put inside of us the strong desire to plant our seed as many places as possible as often as possible. This meant if his woman or child were too frail he would still have the will and desire to find another mate and make more children to keep the species going. Fast forward to today were we live a much safer civilized world then back then will still have the desire hard wired into our DNA so it really creates problems. But its a scientific fact men are hard wired to want to plant their seed time and time again. I'm not saying there is nothing we can do about but there is a desire there that woman just can't understand because its not in them like it is for us.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

How do you label your current lack-of-partner status? Posted: 4/13/2009 7:29:10 PM
If I had to give it a label I'd say single and optimistic about whatever comes. Meeting the right person is luck. Luck is opportunity meeting preparation So as I remain single I prepare by continuing to improve myself. Hopefully I'll be wise enough to seize my opportunity and become lucky.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Any guys like bigger girls??? Posted: 4/13/2009 7:23:27 PM
Here is the things about big girls. I think they are attractive when they still maintain that womanly figure. Meaning their body is larger but still have the pleasant curves that naturally attract men to women. There is a alot of leeway with that. When you are large and don't have those pleasant lovely lady curves well for me you wouldn't be attractive but I'll also say I don't like thinner women without those curves either. Women often ask me if I'm boob or butt man I think I should start saying neither I really like curvy hips.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 135 (view)

Women can be really shallow. Posted: 4/13/2009 7:11:39 PM
Over 10 years and really women don't see you has worthy to be in their pool of suitors. OP you are both right and wrong. Yes lets put it out there women can be very shallow. However this young woman has every reason to refuse you not the least of which is that you are co-workers. You need to learn how to be alright with people not wanting you. Don't give up searching but you shouldn't have any ill will or opinion about someone who doesn't want you in their life.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Broke up with her, but miserable about it Posted: 4/13/2009 12:07:02 AM
Wow this is a tough one. She sounds like a good person that needs a lifestyle change. Technically you are suppose to step in and stop people you care about from living destructive lifestyles be it smoking, drinking, or whatever. However with lifestyle changes the person living the bad lifestyle has to really want to change. If she doesn't want to change then the choice is a little more clear you have to walk away.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

advice please!:) Posted: 4/10/2009 5:30:26 PM
He has something he is hiding from you its your call do you want to investigate and find out what that is or leave it alone.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Am I the crazy one? Posted: 4/10/2009 5:24:48 PM
You are not crazy. Do not talk to this person ever again. Don't be surprised if you are contacted later on in life asking did you know this guy he sounds like he is not playing with a full deck. Take an extra precaution any information he knows about you change it.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Instant Connection... Posted: 4/7/2009 3:42:50 AM
Its great that you are feeling this way. I would say probe her to find out if she is feeling the that exact same way. If she says ya I really do feel like this is something very special. I'd say by all means let her know exactly how you feel in as beautiful detail as you can describe. I'm one for not wasting time when you know you have a good thing tomorrow is promised to no one. seize the day and all that

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Do guys really want just one girl????? Posted: 4/7/2009 3:35:26 AM
It depends on the guy and where he is at in life. It has nothing to do with looks. Some guys can have any woman they want and just want a very special one. example: Mario Lopez women find him attractive but from all I've heard its one girl at a time for him. Some guys should be lucky they can get anybody and won't stay faithful. example: Verne Troyer aka Mini Me from Austin Powers cheated on his playboy playmate girlfriend. So to answer your question the one woman guy is out there and they may appear different then you might think.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Spending Time in Nature with Someone Special: Any ideas? Posted: 4/7/2009 3:24:36 AM
I think the zoo is great place to get to know someone. You know you are going to smell so smells you can see how prissy they are. You know you are going to see beautiful animals can they appreciate nature's beauty?. Its gonna take time to walk through and see all the exhibits are they healthy enough to walk and do they have patience? Some have portions where you can pet the animals do they show love and affection to the animals?

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

A love that might never happen? Posted: 4/7/2009 3:15:06 AM
Here is the deal you are in a vulnerable place right now and he is almost taking advantage of the situation. If he is a good guy he can wait for you to get back on your feet where you are definitely in control and on your own. If you still find him attractive then you know that its less likely for the wrong reasons. Here is a message to everybody if you are in some trouble be it drugs, abuse, depression etc...... now is not the time to bring romance in your life you are not qualified to bring love into your life. Once you are a whole happy healthy person again then you can trust your judgment on the people you bring in romantically.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

God help me, How do I get her back? Posted: 4/7/2009 1:43:58 AM
Here is my best advice if you can get a minute of her time do this. Tell her "Look I really want to work things out and clear things up" Tell her "If you don't want to do it now we can do it where or whenever you want" Tell her "From now on I'm going to leave you alone and respect your space."

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

When you have met the perfect woman and it still goes wrong Posted: 4/7/2009 1:23:44 AM
Way back in early 2000 I had decided I wasn't making as much money as I wanted but I was mentally and spiritually grounded enough to say I like who I am. So I decided now was a good time to really layout what kind of person I really wanted in my life for the long haul. I wanted someone who dressed conservative but still looked sexy. I wanted someone smart but humble enough to still keep learning. I wanted someone who was not just kind to me but all of humanity. I wanted someone who had discipline through martial arts training. I wanted someone who knew about Japanese Animation and liked some of it. I wanted someone who understood that I was shy not rude like some people think. Believe it or not about 7 years later I meet a girl who hit every single one of my quirky requests. It was so off putting it was like she was reading my mind. Alas, she had no love for me it was pretty cruel joke fate had played. I'm alive and I keep going but I know I'll never meet another her.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

why can't i have it all? Posted: 4/6/2009 4:08:58 PM
Its supply and demand Men believe it or not are really more comfortable talking and getting to know someone first just like women are. However the one thing we can't get easily is sex so what becomes a top priority for us is sex. Once we get sex that is when we take a REAL hard look at everything else about a women we don't stay if there is no real chemistry or romance. You can play the game of not giving us sex first but the problem is if there is no real chemistry its going to come out eventually.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

my best friend 'loves me' Posted: 4/2/2009 3:23:31 AM
Here is the thing you have done all you can do. You have told him the truth and that is the end of it from your part don't worry about it. He has two choices from this point continue the friendship and keep a loving person in his life or end the friendship because his feelings are just too strong and he can't be close to you and not feel it. You can hope he chooses the friendship but its HIS decision at this point. If you care about him you should fully understand that he may choose to leave your life because he loves you so much its painful. What can also happen is the time you spend apart may make him see he isn't going to find a friend like you just anywhere that friendship is worth continuing.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

its been 5 months! Posted: 4/2/2009 3:07:25 AM
You say you know what the wrong things were that contributed to the relationship being in turmoil that's good so you know not to repeat them. Here is the thing he is no longer a factor he said its over and it is. Here is the good news you aren't wasting anymore of your precious life in toxic relationship. You are now free to find who you are really suppose to be with. Love takes work and its not perfect but above all love is happiness and if neither of you are making each other happy it can't be love. The absolute best way I know to get over someone is to invest time in yourself. Been needing to work out? do it? Been wanting a vacation? take it? Need affection? Puppies are awesome. Make your life better so that you will be like ya I'm glad my life is not where it was when I met him and I don't want to go back to that or him.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

sick of it all Posted: 4/2/2009 2:46:47 AM
I feel you man I've been in similar circumstances. (anytime you wanna talk man just shoot me a e-mail) we can trade war stories. But I know where you are coming from. You were definitely head over heels for this girl and I know how that is she is constantly in your thoughts even when you know you should let go. You sound like a level headed person don't blame yourself and assume you are doing something wrong because you have run into bad women who have made you feel horrible. You are not cursed. I have asked myself the exact same questions. My advice to you is my advice to myself and anyone feeling this way "Take positive control" of the people you put in your life. Get out to places where positive good people are like the Gym, charitable events, and educational workshops. What this does is surrounds you with a pool of high quality people from which to choose your next lady friend.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Review me please ladies!!! Posted: 4/1/2009 11:56:30 PM
thanks for feedback

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Turning down guys Posted: 4/1/2009 3:05:03 AM
Lots of people including myself have had hang ups about the rejection when asking people out. I got over my bad feeling in the pit of my stomach by making it a game for myself. It also helped to hear that so many women are just waiting for someone to ask them out or by them a drink. On average how often would you ladies say you turn down guys for a date, drinks, or lunch? Rarely - You are a social person and go out with anyone for a few laughs 50/50 - You date frequently but definitely have higher standards you adhere to Regularly - You are for the most part not interested unless its very specific man fitting several criteria.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 1 (view)

Review me please ladies!!! Posted: 4/1/2009 1:11:55 AM
I would like feedback on what might make my profile more appealing. What details would you like to know? I'm a deep thoughtful person but also guy with a sorta dry dark humor does that come across in the profile? Hate me or Love me but please give me feedback. Thank you.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Date tomorrow night - but....! Posted: 4/1/2009 12:42:53 AM
Hey don't ruin a good thing go ahead and keep it a secret it will heighten the sex.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

How can I tell if a guy is interested? Posted: 4/1/2009 12:30:31 AM
Unfortunately you are asking a general question about a individual specific thing. Different guys show different methods of interest. Some do it through playful touching, some drop naughty jokes in conversation, and some stare into your eyes hoping you can see how they feel. Its different for everyone. Here's the thing you are a woman you want romance and romance in your eyes is not asking to find out for sure. So your going do everything under the sun but ask what you want to know. Here is my theory intelligent people do bold things because they realize how short life is and don't have time to waste. If he is interested you are wasting time guessing about a relationship that you really want to be in. If he is not interested you are wasting time guessing when you could be spending time with someone who wants you. Look at Natasha Richardson her and Liam Neeson had a wonderful life together only to be cut short. Even if you find the love of your life it may only have a limited amount of time together so don't let little things like this get in the way. Ask a man if he is interested so you can make a good decision.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

why do they choose me? Posted: 3/31/2009 3:24:17 AM
You are beautiful lady don't focus on being rejected. Think of rejection as a restaurant not having a particular meal you wanted. You are bummed they don't have your first choice but what do you do you find something else tasty on the menu. Right now you are in the victim role relationships happen to you like an accident what you want is to choose when and with whom to start a relationship on your terms. Its time for you to go from passenger to pilot.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 214 (view)

My gf won't even let me touch her down there Posted: 3/31/2009 3:03:35 AM
Classic Loveline issue I'm going to paraphrase what Dr. Drew usually about girls like this. She has had some kind of trauma in her life she was either raped, fondled by and adult as a child or something. If you really want get past this you need to find out what went wrong if she will even discuss that with you. Then you need to support her in getting help whether it be counseling or whatever. So to answer your question if you really care about this girl for a long term relationship you need to talk with her more and hopefully you can get at what happened or get her some help. If your looking for sex but not investing yourself in this girl's life I think you are looking for another type of girl so ya you are wasting your time.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Is he hitting on me? Posted: 3/31/2009 2:52:44 AM
He put out a feeler to gauge whether you had any romantic interest in him and by your reaction you weren't pleased at all. If he is going to be wanting more from you than just friendship unfortunately you can't change that. All you can do is be honest with him and hopefully he still does want the friendship.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 127 (view)

he'll sleep with you, but won't kiss you Posted: 3/31/2009 2:33:27 AM
I'll tell you what it is It doesn't sound like a serious relationship it sounds like two people who just recently started hooking up for fun. That being the case the guy has put a boundary up letting her know this is not making love this is sex. There is also the real possibility that he doesn't trust her to not be blowing other guys.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Do women really dig scars? Posted: 3/31/2009 2:21:53 AM
Its good to hear some women say it really doesn't bother them. I have some scars and it would be depressing to think I couldn't find a good women because of them. Hopefully us ugly folk can still have real love

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

why do they choose me? Posted: 3/31/2009 2:12:52 AM
You might not want to hear this but maybe to avoid the guy who is bold enough to have 3 to 4 women on the side you might want to start asking guys out. Some women view that as desperate and not a women's place but I think whomever is doing the asking out is in the driver's seat they are in control. That is exactly what you need some quality control on who you put in your life rather then waiting for some attractive player to come along and fool you again.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Guys in work attire. Posted: 3/30/2009 6:35:49 PM
I sorta understand that women like seeing a man in a suit but I personally I'm not that fond of them. If it leads to more compliments on my sex appeal though its worth a try.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 81 (view)

Why are so many in such a hurry to meet...? Posted: 3/30/2009 5:18:52 AM
short answer dating is like try to get a job. the e-mailing is so you get the interview. once you have the face to face time you can really show who you are.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

What are you looking for? Is romance unrealistic? Posted: 3/30/2009 5:15:23 AM
Romance is to women what sex is to men. Women read romance novels and guys watch porn. We both react the same way for these two different desires. Women will be rude and shut people up if they think some romance is about happen whether its to them or someone else. Guys react the same way to sex a guy will diss the people he grew up with if he thinks he is going to get some booty. Where am I going with this? Well seeing the common ground and understanding each others needs and how we can relate is the key to positive interaction. To reach healthy compromise. A guy can then get it in his head that ok she is going to be wanting some romantic gestures from me so flowers and poetry are a plus and woman get say ok I don't have to have sex with him but I should give him sexy gestures such as naughty talk or close dancing.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 520 (view)

Slept with 83 people Posted: 3/30/2009 4:17:48 AM
There are two parts to this. The first part is women tend to down play how many people they slept with because the higher the number the more its a negative. So she is either telling the truth or its even more than 83. The second part is guys don't like their women being more of a sexual expert then they are since again women tend to down play sexual partners and wanting sex in general. Guys get weirded out by the girl you love being a pro and your just a slub who got lucky a few times. If its really about the love for the sake of the relationship I'd say keep past sex lives a secret. I know a girl right now getting married soon who use to blow like 10-15 guys at parties from time to time I'm sure it would be a wrench in the wedding plans if her man knew.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Curvy butts.... Posted: 3/29/2009 6:01:07 PM
Being totally serious having a big butt I don't think is a problem for any man. If you are overall out of shape and overweight that might be an issue. But no man I know is going to say hmm she is slim to medium build with a big butt and that is a turn off. Also Jenifer Lopez is still considered in the top 3 of most beautiful women in the world if that doesn't give you a hint about whether its a problem nothing will.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Miss Too Busy For Me! Posted: 3/29/2009 3:21:48 AM
I think male or female if you really want someone in your life you make time. I'm sorry to say guy if she hasn't seen you in weeks you are not important to her its time to move on.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

Is It Possible To Be In Love With Someone You've Never Met? Posted: 3/29/2009 3:15:25 AM
You can know everything about a person but until you have met them and had a back fourth in-depth conversation I don't think you can call it being in love. Before that conversation you are nothing more than a fan or admirer

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 30 (view)

How do you get over someone who doesn't want you?? Posted: 3/29/2009 3:10:39 AM
You are lucky you met such an honest person to sit down and say you know what instead of cheating on you I'm going to be honest and say I'm not that into you. You have nothing to be angry about it sucks but its better then catching him giving it to someone else in your bed one night. Peoples feelings change it happens we are people we don't know what we want. What doesn't happen often enough is people willing to have a sense of honor and be honest.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

I seriously have terrible trouble APPROACHING women. Posted: 3/29/2009 2:45:37 AM
Its probably not your approach that is the problem its your focus on the rejection and how that is going to feel. We are human rejection hurts and can even ruin your night if you let it. To be honest it can be more than just rejection it can be she not only rejects you but she accepts some other guy that you don't she why she would prefer him over you. A double slap in the face. I totally understand where you are coming from. Some guys get past this feeling by being drunk in the bar or club. My advice take your time be calm and friendly if she rejects be very polite say thanks for your time and give her no more attention at all.

House Music Derrick

Joined: 2/10/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

How much touching and sex talk is too much in the workplace Posted: 3/24/2009 11:10:14 AM
I thank those who agree with my rules they are basically what has kept me out of legal situations. I'm no pig behind a woman's back but it is entirely possible some sense I'm attracted to them I mean without me saying anything that is just something they can pick up on that is not my fault. A glance here and there happens when there are some pretty women in your office. Combine that with my rule structure of no sex talk, touching, or going out together and its causing problems. What I mean by problems? Say I have a crush on a female co-worker say senses it but I've said nothing following my rules. She mentions it to her girlfriends at work and before you know it every women in the office suspects I have a crush. So now their games start random women start dropping hints that the woman you have feelings for may or may not be dating someone else or hinting you have no backbone for not making your move on her. They can really make it hell on earth emotions wise. This has happened and will probably happen again.

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