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 Author Thread: Single mum to be......
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Single mum to be......
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:07:34 PM

I need advice, Im a single mother to be, my baby is due in 12 weeks...

The father will not be involved at all. He was rather violent when finding out I was pregnant and now claims it is not his.... When clearly it is.

I am really worried that this will effect my future relationships, not to mention I feel that no man is going to want to be with a woman who has a child, as Im only 23 which I feel that no guys around my age or slightly older will want to take on a girl with a baby.


i know the feeling that your going thru the father of my child walked out 2 months into my pregnancy saying the same thing even when he had me under lock n key the whole time i was in school and working. i wouldnt worry about the future relationships just yet. I thought the exact same thing but ive found ive met more friends who are potentials than anything. I wouldnt intend on rushing into anything im 24 and due in a few weeks now take your time with the planning of your newborns arrival and in time you will find a guy who will accept both you and your baby its the best thing you can do..trust me you'll be much happier in the end :D best of luck :D
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Why are single moms so open to having additional children by another man?
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:58:48 PM
so because im a single mom whom the father decided half way into the pregnancy he couldnt be a father, should i get married i shouldnt have any more kids? i dont think thats right, yes i have 2 biological siblings but either way just because he couldnt be a man on a decision we both made at the beginning doesnt mean my choice to have a family later on down the road when im married should end because that would make my child a half sibling..sorry but clearly you are narrow minded and dont see the positives only the negatives. i know a girl who had 3 children with the first father he passed away and she later remarried and had one more...they are half siblings in your term but to her they are still flesh and blood no matter what you look at it.
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
When do they have a right to know the truth?
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:37:50 PM
the problem with letting your daugther be in his care at any point could lead to future problems. ive been studying to become a councellor & one of the key things mentioned is that when a child is in an environment like that she could grow up to think that what he does is right and when it comes time to date and find a man of her own end up with the exact same type of man you did. emotionally abusive. your best bet is to tell her the truth and let her chose if she doesnt want to see him then so be it. dont force her to go to him it could only hurt her in the end
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Should I?
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:01:02 AM
take it from someone in the same boat..i was with my ex, i got pregnant then alot of things started comming out of the woodwork. he was a druggie & abuser didnt give a shite if i had nothing to eat all day as long as he got what he wanted he was happy. 2 months into my pregnancy he told me he couldnt be with someone who was pregnant...only later to find out that he has 2 kids with his ex that he keeps going back to...she takes him back even tho he beats her...needless to say if he were to come around now...btw im due in 8 weeks i wouldnt give him the time of day...why would i want someone who walked out once whos drugs and boys are more important around my kid..no thanks better to have no father than a deadbeat father
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 704 (view)
 
Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/6/2009 3:39:08 PM

hats garbage, fact of the matter is, what turns me off about single mothers isn't the kid.. I love kids. It's the attitude that most of them I see carry around... "I'm the mom of 4 beautiful little girls they are my world, if you can't handle that go somewhere else."
Shitty attitude.
Two, is it really that hard to not have kids at a young age? There are countless forms of birth controls.... and condoms for christ sake, you can get them FOR FREE. And women with multiple children in their twenties are scary, means they aren't using protection... It shows a sense of irresponsibility to me. You always say you don't "want a daddy" but what happens when you've been with a fellow and it's time to shit or get off the pot. You still gonna feel that way when he says he doesn't wanna be your kids dad?
"We were married/engaged so we decided to have a baby and he left me " Maybe you shouldn't have had a kid before you were married and together for a decent amount of time.
Especially before the dude leaves for war. This isn't 1943....
Plus to the dudes who say they don't mind because it's become the "norm" you shouldn't lower your standards just because it's the "norm" when it shouldn't be the norm.


I totally do understand where you are comming but there are circumstances where its pretty much outta their hands...i was not supposed to ever be able to have kids but i still talked to my docter about any form of birth control possible that i could take because of an allergic reaction and me and the father both knew what was going on. i was just waiting for the day to start taking my new birthcontrol and he always wore a condom low and behold i never got my period after that and next thing i knew it i was 8 weeks pregnant he stuck around and once i hit 2 months a 17 yr old became more important than me or his kid and he ran and i mean ran...have yet to hear from him & dont plan on it. needless to say sometimes shit happens but im not runnin around gettin knocked up. i have a career and still finishing my education before my child is born..there are some decent women out there.
 69AngelEyes69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 163 (view)
 
Pregnant and Dating...now there's my question
Posted: 3/20/2009 6:21:08 PM
yes there are some irrisponsible people out there having kids but in my case me and the father were using condoms. every time we had sex we used a condom doctors had told me im infirtle and that i would never be able to concieve a child the one night the condom broke and a month later the test read pregnant. there are people out there who go out and get pregnant and dont take care but there are responsible single mothers out there even if they failed to use birthcontrol or had that miracle night that they conceived while on it
 69AnGeLeYeS69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Pregnant and Dating...now there's my question
Posted: 3/19/2009 4:36:10 PM
i completely respect what you have to say but as a single pregnant female i do everything in my power to work two jobs and make the money i need to survive when the baby born till im able to go back to work i have a college education and not all single moms are outta a job i know quite a few women around my age that are single moms that work while their kids at work im in an industry that i could work around the needs of my child. And there are guys out there who have no problem dating a pregnant female...majority are single fathers who have it together on their own. Its never asking too much everyone has needs and wants. A woman has every right pregnant or not to want a bf.
 69AnGeLeYeS69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 499 (view)
 
Men dating single mothers
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:10:48 PM
The whole women with children generally have no goals or vision for what they want out of life and end up living a poor or at best mediocre lifestyle...i personally resent that...im a single mother to be and you know what ive done my college term i have a career to start after the babys born giving me the opportunity to raise my child and still work, i work as it is now and plan on working till the absolute last moment before the babys born, just because there are single moms out there that are in that situation and chose not to change it doesnt mean all single moms are like that. I have a future for me and my children and no man needs to be there to support my way thru ive done fine this far without a man supporting me. but thank you for showing that there are men out there that are narrow minded and have no clue there are some decent mothers.
 69AnGeLeYeS69
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 151 (view)
 
Pregnant and Dating...now there's my question
Posted: 3/16/2009 1:49:01 PM
I am a single pregnant female, For some females yes dating should be held off and there are others that can date and be responsible. I clearly state in my profile im not looking for a father for my child, the father chose to walk out and date the next younger skinnier girl which was fine by me a man that can be a sperm doner and walk out after his actions shouldnt be a father at all. I can quite capably raise my child when its born by my self. But as for the dating, I know plenty of guys who have kids themselves who love the idea of dating a pregnant chick...namely me and who have even noted that they would be there straight thru. some guys may not do that some may. to each their own :D thanks
 
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