If you have sincerely tried to fix it and can't then sever the relationship. There is much to be said for solitude. It gives you a chance to heal and find out who you really are.

What I see with my generation is that while we are still doing poorly in the picking a good mate area, I think we are doing better with divorce. Yes, there are still way too many grown-ups that think everything is about them but I am seeing a heartening number of people that are divorced, remarried, and it is like all the kids, are being raised by a team of 6 or more adults. I'm sure that people have their good and bad days but these people seem to honestly have come to like each other as well as the new spouses.

One poster said – early on in a relationship he tends to try to impress - isn't totally honest and after a while - ‘i start to resent the fact that i can't really be myself and things go downhill from there.'
I've often heard the expression 'she makes me a better man' - isn't that a good thing? Why would you resent being the person they want? But it definitely proves the point, you have to be honest, even with yourself.

I don't think you can or should BUILD intimacy: I think it's a natural thing that grows out of interaction & relating.

Instead of thinking of trying to build a natural thing like intimacy, think how you can create optimal conditions for it to grow.

To know someone, you have to be not just interested in discovering the other person but open to learning about them rather than measuring them constantly against a scale of what you want them to be

I don't like it when men try to quantify something so nebulous, and something that isn't that important to a REAL woman. If it's not money, there's some schlub saying "I know I don't look like Brad Pitt but I ain't THAT ugly!" Well no, you don't look like him and YEAH you might BE that ugly--but trying to compare yourself to someone most women don't give a crap about is stupid.

If you're a broke ass man, having the internet would be the last thing I'd expect you to worry about. I knew a guy like that and yes, I did not ever go out with him. Why? Because if he's sitting his lazy ass at home, playing online/watching porn/whatever, instead of trying to do something (get a better job???) then he has no ambition.

You know who has a lot of money that I'd NEVER let near me? Let me give you a list...Howard Stern. Man is ugly as a mofo with a wig...HELL NO. Hugh Hefner...do I really need to explain that??? Mike Tyson...um....again...self-explanatory. Michael Vick--cruelty to animals can turn into cruelty to people. And he's a dumbass to boot.

Stop focusing on MONEY. Before one of you men start complaining that women don't date broke men--don't start. I am sure that MOST women on POF have, at some point in their lives, been with some guy who didn't have a lot. But they enjoyed them because of who they are, not what they had in a money clip.

J Lo got it right--"My love don't cost a thang."

A loving relationship takes time to build. It needs lots of conversation, fun courtship, which seems to be a lost art) more fun and lots more conversation about values, relationships, self awareness and many other things.

When she sees a guy she likes she will do the hints, but she does not want to come across as if she is the one approaching because she doesn't want to be seen as easy, and she wants the type of male that is willing to take a risk and pursue.

Other differences that would be a breaking point for me is the use of anything that alters personality like drugs or alcohol. I might have a social drink defined as a drink once a year…lol…other wise I have no use for it. I have noticed the latter certainly limits prospective partners.

but usually if people get divorced the reason fits into one of those categories

Why can't two people be in a monogamous, committed relationship, yet maintain some personal autonomy?

I agree, the wife, or should I say other half, works just as hard, 50/50, but in the end, we all know the men end up paying through the nose. It really is a sad thing.

For me it was a life long change. I did it and I maintain my weight FOR ME. Not for anyone else. I wouldn't be motivated be a nagging and resentful, controlling husband. He would be the first dead weight I would get rid of, then I would focus on a diet.

Brady Bunch gone bad, so if the kids don't get along it can become a drag on the relationship.

I have no fear in asking anyone out. Getting a guy to go out with me is a different story. Most guys think I'm kidding or are shocked I even asked. I ask them what they are doing on such day and ask if they want to get together for a drink or quick bite. I tell them pick a place and they get flighty. I call them flip floppers. I mean you gotta put yourself out there if you want any kind of result.

Yesterday I was talking to a guy in email. After say the 5th email, I said what are you doing tomorrow. he said he had no plans. I said, let's do brunch. Haven't heard back from him. I also don't go chasing after men. If they put no effort into anything, I'm not going to pursue anything.

Most people I've run into on here just don't seem to want to make time to meet someone - personally I call that a game especially if you say you are looking for long term

I am also not interested in emailing a trillion million times - if I have a good sense of the person 2 or 3 good emails usually does it for me, but so far, most of the men cannot seem to make the effort to send a good email (I'm talking after the first one, like the 3rd email where I've had to make the effort asking questions while he just answers them). If this man was soooo interested in me to send an initial email and I send one back asking questions about him to which he answers and doesn't ask me a single one