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 Author Thread: Love,Quality of life and who pays
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 606 (view)
 
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:09:45 PM
I see a lot of people is just talking about an "alpha man"...without even knowing what or who an alpha man is...alpha has more to do with personality and how they approach different situations....a rich man or a celebrity/public figure man doe snot necessarily have to be a "alpha man" whether in life in general or in the context of a relationship...

a quiet man could also be an alpha male as well..most people have this notion that an alpha man is someone who is aggressive, loud,controlling/dictating etc....that's BS!

and what about hugh hefner, that makes him an "alpha"?.

Ps: i am in agreement with most of what veritone has been saying.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How long does it take for you to get sick of people?
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:37:57 PM
I couldnt stand seeing someone more than 3 times a week max. I am not a phone talker and I dont have long phone conversations. I prefer to limit calling no more than 2 times a day! on an average of about 3-5 mins..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 242 (view)
 
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/12/2009 9:55:48 PM
wow...of course I don't have any problems with a woman making the first move...why do people have to make dating and relationships so hard?
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Engagement rings for men?
Posted: 11/12/2009 1:16:33 PM

I'm not into the whole engagement/marriage thing in the first place so it wouldn't be something I'd get for my guy.


You mean not anymore right?..seeing that you were once married :)
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
What kind of guy do you want to marry?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:39:30 PM
You're wasting your time going back and forth with her, unless you like to get into pissing matches


Exactly. these women here will give pointless arguments just because they cant accept the truth.

[quoteYes, Women do seek financial security although it is alot of times an unconcious decision...that is noted in evolution and research.

LOL you are joking right? "unconscious" decision?..Nothing is "unconscious" about a woman wanting a man with a stable job who can provide for her..and the kids...most women who wants a man like that with a good job..ENSURES before hand that he has a stable job..its not like they just get into the relationship and then they just randomly find out about his job/careers situation.

Any woman who wants a man like that, will deliberately make sure before she starts to date him that he has his act together..job wise...I guess you are another delusional woman too huh?
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How do men suddenly withdraw emotionally?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:54:06 AM

IMO, most men don't want to be the one to end the relationship esp. if he knew the women didn't do anything wrong. By withdrawing emotionally they can avoid emotional scenes as others have pointed out until the woman can not take it anymore and decide to end the relationship. So the man will be free of guilt of causing grief to the woman.


LOl wow..damn!! you women on here seem to know us men well....But on another note..women also act this way as well..it's not just men ;)
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
She's Too Into You!
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:33:49 PM

A man told me that women who are too into him scare him off because they are idolizing him, making a fantasy of him, in love with their own vision of him...he said there's always a big let down when he doesn't measure up and also they are usually then pissed as hell and start attacking him for ruining their fantasy of him. He said give me a woman who likes me over some crazed lusting trying to stroke his ego...I tend to feel the same way about men full of phony complements and instant love. It just isn't real and it's going to implode at some point, leaving you sprayed with the fallout


I absolutely agree with what that man said. I usually have the same experience..infact, I am having that same issue now with someone...the minute i dont do something that i was "suppose" to do or something that I "usually" do..its HELL!! I cant miss a beat ..

Now dont get me wrong, I dont have a problem per se with someone being clingy to me..infact it can be a nice feeling, so long as they dont take it to the "extreme" and go above and beyond what is necessary.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Manchester unted fans ?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:49:31 PM
Man U have been one of the best sides in Europe for the last 5 or so years....every sport franchise is a business....and yes FIFA have a hatred for english clubs..its beyond obvious....

As for madrid..pff..they aren't gonna even do anything much this year..and that idiot ronaldo wont have as good a career at madrid..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 204 (view)
 
She is barely legal, He is 48
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:43:22 AM

Secondly, I was once in a relationship where my initial attraction for the my SO was waning as she was gaining too much weight. I began having trouble achieving erections when we were attempting to be intimate, and it pretty much didn't work at all unless she went down on me. When it came to porn and "me time", I had absolutely no trouble getting erections and I have not had trouble since. I Wonder what the cause of my temporary bout of ED was?

My point is this: It isn't always the woman's fault. That doesn't mean it never is


Absolutely, agree with this,a dn I've the same experience as you did. I am dating a 29 year old woman who is not fat by any means but her tummy is a bit 'fluffy" if you will and could lose a few pounds..I almost alwasy have trouble getting hard or staying hard when i am having sex with her..I have to REALLy think about something sexual or think about having sex with someone else to even get hard..and when it does get hard i goes back down easily! I am only 24!!

when i watch porno I have absolutely No problesm getting hard! and staying hard..or when i am with a sexy attractive girl...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Married man/single women friends
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:20:12 PM
"It's not a good idea for a variety of reasons.
It's inappropriate for a variety of reasons.
It's also inappropriate for a married woman having and spending time alone with single male friends.
It has nothing to do with trust. It's manifests a sort of proprietary familiarity that can begin to exclude the spouse. Friendships are emotionally intimate relationships."

Exactly Landra..I've always believed that it's best if people don't put themselves sin a situation where feelings have a REAL possibility to manifest?..WHY?..you may look at it simple and say "well i would never ever want him or her even if i was single" bla bla bla...but we've seen it many times before in situations like that where the same person end up falling for the other...sorry, i don't want my wife hanging out on a regular basis alone with male friends..actually i don't want it period.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can one be too positive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:19:03 PM
This is the problem with many people when they meet someone/start dating..early on their expectations are ridiculously too high. That's a big no no. OP while you should have expectations..it's better not make them too high.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Right girl just not right time?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:12:32 PM
sorry bro..she is just not interested..as mentioned before by previous posters..when a girl is interested in a guy she WILL find the time to be with him..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Does this drive all men nuts?
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:42:55 AM
OP..generally guys say less romantic stuff than women..that's the way it it..has always been and will always be like that..I dont know the reason for it..i am like your Bf..when a girl says romantic/musy stuff to me..i dont really reply back with something romantic etc..sometimes i do not not often...

look..you should know men are different from women, and we arent programmed to be mushy/gushy etc...it doesnt mean he doesnt love you or want to be with you
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
She now wants us to just be dating and not in a relationship :(
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:07:46 PM

you're "ok for now" but not really what she's looking for.


This Exactly. As soon as she finds someone that she really wants she will be gone for good..as someone said earlier..she is just using you for "the time being"
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 125 (view)
 
The real problem with relationships today.
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:19:05 AM

The social pressure to stay in a relationship, no matter how dysfunctional, was much larger; nowadays it's much easier to walk away when the sh1t hits the fan or even before.


Very well said lusting impressions. Like yourself, I also agree that it has to do with society in terms of what is "more acceptable" when it comes to divorce and being a single parent. That as well as the fact that women are a LOT more independent on men...and as a result of that, they are more likely to leave as soon as the slightest problem arises...even though there are still a few women out there who are independent, successfull but are still staying in unhealthy dysfunctional relationships.

In any event..the fact that it's a lot easier for people to walk out of a relationship is one MAJOR reason why there are so many relationship failures. And the reason for that could be the fact that they think they think they can always find someone even better than you..not always but holds true quite often
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
My girl got pregnant, she dumped me? is this normal? need some advices..thanks
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:57:07 PM
Like others mentioned....there HAS to be something more to the story..Hormones alone could not let someone be acting this way....But there is more...and if not the case..then she is a n extremely psychopathic individual..but seriously though, there is more to it that you just don't know OP..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:02:48 PM
its pretty obvious you cant follow simple logic...because if you cant see how the "device" indirectly is causing the problem..then something has gone wrong in the brain...


<div class="quote">The people using said device are choosing how they use it or "mis use" it.

yes my friend yes yes yes..I already know that the person using the device are the one choosing how to "mis use" it...and what I am saying to you brother is that..without the availability of that "device" they would not have anything to "mis use"..you cant "mis use" a device if you don't have the device...you cant use a gun to shoot a man if you dont have a gun....the US couldn't go to war in Irag and Afghanistan if they didn't have the "devices/weapons" they have...so while the American people are the ones who ultimately use the device to do destruction..they would NEVER be able to go to war without the 'devices' that they have..so in that case the devices (weapons) would be the problem INDIRECTLY that is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! while the PEOPLE would be the problem DIRECTLY...because as you said they are the ones who ultimately decides what to do with the weapons...I have never disagreed with you when you said the people are the problem...I am just saying the END result is ULTIMATELY caused by the "device"..If a bomb blows up a building...the reason why the building got blew up in the end was because of the BOMB..the bomb exploded..not the people..people cant use their bare hands to blow up a building...they have to use SOMETHING to do that...I hope all those examples/analogies have made things clearer for you...basically all I am saying is that the "device" is the problem but not directly...its the problem "indirectly"

If you still tell me that you dont follow that "logic" i am not gonna bother wasting my time responding. I cannot explain it any simplier.

Cheers
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:09:32 PM

absolutely false because your analogy is oriented toward the mean and not the end, and do not take into account the primary factor: The person.
The tools is to respond to a need, remove the tool but the need remain, witch only make the person re start the circle of building a tool to answer his need.

No gun?, they will use a stick.
Why?
1) the person still exist
2) because they still need to eat! (or really hate that guy Lol!)


using a gun and a stick are two different weapons used to kill/damage...that analogy doesn't have much relevance in this case....what you have to realise is that the TOOL..is the DECIDING factor in what is used to to do the killing...the person needs to have a TOOL in order to do the killing..at least in most cases anyway....yes its the person who will ultimately use the tool to do the killing..but without the tool he cant kill the deer..he needs some sort of "tool"..be it a gun,rock, know etc...it doesn't matter...like i said...the tool doesn't not necessarily do the damage "directly"..however it does the damage INDIRECTLY. you are only looking at this from a "direct' point of view but you have to look at it from every angle..and ultimately look at the broader picture..as to why "technology" in this case (in regards to the OP original question) is contributing to so many people being single and failed relationships...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 64 (view)
 
interested in settling down?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:33:16 PM
for me its simple..i am a simple person and i want a simple lifestyle with a woman..what i want is to be with someone i can have a nice family with.....enjoy raising the kids..watching them..seeing their little face slight up when they get something they really want...laughing and joking around with my lady...playing with each other...planning family trips together....i want us to be in a living situation where we have enough money to make our live/lifestyle comfortable..you know those are the things i really look forward to..and i cant wait for it to happen....
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:32:54 PM
Like anything in life, it is HOW you use something that either make it right or corrupt everything. It is the fault of the user and not of the device.

For example: a gun.

To use a gun to shoot a dear: OK
To use a gun to shoot a guy: Not OK

Is it the gun's fault...or the fault of the person who used or misused the device?

So let just stop that crap of blaming the device, and let start to educate the users about the proper usage of the device.


Ok you are speaking "literally" here...citing your example...sure the gun is NOT at fault here (per se)..However, from a "logical" point of view...the GUN IS the problem..simply because without the gun, one would not be able to "shoot" the deer....the fact that the gun is available and is being used to shoot the deer, then that makes the gun the problem.

Same with technology/computer here..while the device is not the one controlling how it is being used...without the device, the people would not be be able to "mis use" the device etc...so again from a logical perspective..we have to say that the device is in fact the problem..because that is what is causing the outcome..the final outcome to actually happen.


The person/s using technology to avoid relationship is the contributing factor!

It's not affecting it "directly" per se..at least not usually..however it does affect it "indirectly" ..in several different ways.


I don't think it contributes directly


Exactly. As I said..the problem is that it contributes to it in an "indirect" way

Hope that was clear enough :)
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:19:46 PM
As with most things..technology has good and bad...most people have mentioned the good and bad already so I am not gonna mentioned them...What I do find is that, initially, due to technology, people tend to be more lazy and have less urge to meet up in persons and do things together and talk IN PERSON....the thing is this..talking on the phone or computer etc....doesn't build a connection/bond as talking in person does...so I do think that at the initial stages of dating..technology seem to have a pretty bad impact on dating


<div class='quote'>Technology has helped in some ways, but has hurt the forming of relationships in some of the most important areas. In the old days before modems and computers relationships always formed naturally over time, the way it's supposed to.

Precisley. That's basically what I am talking about here...in order for us to move up a notch and bond with the other person...you need a lot of in person interaction....its ridiculous that so many people say things like...if the person wants to see you all the time and spend time with you etc...they are "desperate" or they are "bothersome" etc..how silly!..sure after a certain time when you know that that special bond has grown strong..then sure no problems in giving each other a little more space...but in the beginning of dating some and to eventually make a relationship naturally form..you HAVE to spend QUALITY time IN PERSON with each other...otherwise, forget about the whole thing.


I mean look at wifi, now you have people that go out to a cafe or something like Panera Bread by themself, but they stick their nose in their laptop the whole time so noone is going to end up talking to them. Thus no new real relationships are being made.


Again, excellent example! Another example is when people listen to these ipods or iphone or what have you...no one wants to talk to them because they don't want to interrupt them and may be scared the person may flip out for talking to them while listening to music..again this also limits human to human interaction/socialising...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:30:53 PM
bachelor/bachelorette parties are two of the stupidest rituals/tradition etc. I've ever heard of....
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
How much should a man chase you to show he is interested?
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:30:12 PM
That's why you see millions of forum posts about.... what happened ? He said he was into me ? He stopped calling/chasing/wanting


Exactly...most men aren't stupid..they dont want to put their all into someone when that someone is not reciprocating..so instead of chasing you (woman) he will just stop calling you suddenly and not waste his time....so yes, that is why you see so many people asking that question..especially women...men too of course play that silly game..but its mostly women who play "hard to get"....

women, when you are interested in a guy SHOW him....not in a "subtle" way either..let it be known clearly you are into him and like him....and there is a way to do so without making it seem like you reek desperation.


well, the people who generally like to exclaim loudly how they don't like to play games are secretly into them at least at a subconscious level, but never mind that.


Oh I have noticed this many many times and have stated so before..its unbelievable how hypocritical people can be...the very ones who say no "head games"..are the VERY ones who end up start playing the head game first..and people wonder why relationships are so hard?..well there's a BIG reason..too many hypocrites out there..who lie and deceive people...


I'm sure some do, however I believe that most men believe that they are expected to make the first move (chase). The thought process being, if I don't take the lead, then nothing happens.


Again..absolutely correct....a lot of the things men do in relationships or when dating or are looking for someone to date that they like is done because they basically "have no choice"..see, we as men know and have realised that the only way to get certain things such as to ask out a woman etc..is to be assertive and take the initiative as chances are she is not gonna do it!


cmdrfunk....For the first time EVER i read a post that has me saying WTF?..how did he know lol...you seem to know how women think to a tea. Too bad you're sooooo far away I would have had the other 3 girls running for their lives


Most guys dont know that......Fortunately for me I am not one of those guys....most men should take a good look at cmdrfunk post.....

 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 88 (view)
 
How much should a man chase you to show he is interested?
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:11:17 PM
I think a lot of people get carried away when they talk about men liking the chase..OK so sure, maybe a lot of men like the chase..HOWEVER, its not the kinda chase where we will have to be chasing you forever without any of the chasing being reciprocated or at least without the woman showing keen interest...most men who like the "chase" dont like the long drawn out chasing that some of you women may be thinking of....so stop blowing this "chase" thing out of proportion, because we as men in general dont like long chases...

I however, dont like to chase women...i like to flirt and tease with them though and be sarcastic etc..bout no i am not a "chaser" by any means..UNLESS of course she is gonna be "chasing" me as well
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Why are some men afraid to express their feelings?
Posted: 8/7/2009 11:59:52 PM

but between society, upbringing, and some very basic instincts (more like wiring even)...generally speaking of course..it's not always easy for men to express themselves (nor do they do so in the same way that women do); it's not always deemed appropriate nor are they necessarily shown how to. We confuse the hell out them by wanting them to be all stoic and 'hot' and 'macho'...and then being pissed they're a*holes or uncommunicative. Or we try to get them to open up, do things the way we want , like things we like - basically emasculate them...and the we're not attracted to them. I don't mean you personally...just generally speaking as a society.


EXCELLENT post!!!..I've been saying this many many times...women always talk about they want a guy who is a "manly man"...but yet they want him to show is "feelings" and "open up" etc..little do they know that finding a "manly man" like that is VERY rare...its like they want to have it both ways..well you cant! accept that.....you either want a "manly man" or a man who is emotional/expressive etc.....the vast majority of real "manly men" are not gonna open up emotionally and tell you all the little nice girly things you wanna hear..not gonna happen...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
I get too nervous to go on dates so I always cancel
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:49:02 PM
yes it's totally normal to feel like your heart is going to burst spontaneously out of your chest and that you aren't going to be able to utter one coherent word or sentence...


No its noCertain level of anxiety is perhaps reasonable. Being really nervous is not normal.t normal to feel that way OP..sure its normal to feel a tad nervous..but if that nervousness makes you keep canceling dates and thinking that you will only be wasting your time etc...then that is not normal..so you need to do something about it..


Also, OP its a sign of low self confidence..you think you will be rejected as well so thats why you keep canceling...


Precisely.

 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 133 (view)
 
What do you think? Is this Selfishness or Not Settling?
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:42:26 PM

I get hit on and asked out in my real life by more 30 and 20 year olds than I've had 45-55 in the last 10 years. Last year alone, I was asked out by no less than 17 men aging between 22 and 35 in a five month time span. During that time? Not one man - considered to be my age asked


But usually those guys are either looking for a sugar momma or just looking for sex...or both...yeah you can and should be flattered somewhat, but don't take them too seriously..

the men your age most likely don't ask you out is because they are looking for a younger woman....a lot of young men..have a fantasy about boinking older women..as well as have them taking care of them..you know..like spending money on them, buying them stuff etc...they think that because if they give good sex the woman will want to look after them..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
your opinion guys/gals
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:48:09 PM

Add someone to your favorites list and you can see that they are online and when they sign off it shows when they were last online.

Hope I helped with your future cyber stalking, good luck


LOL..thanks :)
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
your opinion guys/gals
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:28:16 PM
is there a way to know if someone in particular is still on the site etc?
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Rules for a relationship...
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:02:48 PM
They are going to, and if they don't than that means one of three things, a) you/they are boring, b) they are holding back , or c) you are not worth arguing with.


You definitely gave away your age when you wrote that! That's a really silly thing to say....and I agree with a previous poster..that it may be insulting to people who have been in relationships where there was no arguing.
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Too much baggage to start a new relationship ???
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:39:45 AM
OP--
"But I know he loves me..."
This is your idea of love?


Well are you surprised she calls that "love"?..after all isn't that what most women say when guys treat them like crap?...whenever they have a man that treats them like animals..they always chime in withe the infamous "but he loves" or "but i love him" excuse...they're women..thats how most of them think....aain no one said women think logically....


Youre still making excuses for this guy, baggage or no baggage he's a loser, the faster


This is also another classic thing that women like the Op does...keep making "excuses" for the guy..even when they they blatantly admit that he has screwed up many times..it's funny what some people perceives "loves" as....I am just glad that I don't have the mentality of most women when it comes to dating/relationships..I would be screwed lol
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Does this drive all men nuts?
Posted: 8/1/2009 9:57:51 PM
Kinda sounds like you need to decide if your fishing or not


Precisely. OP is doesn't even realized that she is indeed fishing for compliments in return...Anyhoo..again..this a typical behaviour by many women..always have to find an issue with something, even when there is nothing to take issue on!

You claim he show his affection in other ways..so just give it a break..I just dont know why some women just cant be satisfied with something good they have going...to me when someone wants their other half to say something romantic in return it simply means they are not sure if the other person feels the same way..why else would they wonder/ask why they dont return the compliment etc?

Anyway to add to that..I as well as a lot of other guys are like your boyfriend..Saying romantic things is unfortunately not something natural for men...we feel very feminine when we say too much mushy stuff and act too mushy..and in the back of our minds we are not to "manly" when we are like that..most of the time when guys say mushy stuff its because they are forced indirectly or directly to do so....if it was up to most men to have to say mushy stuff to their women without any repercussion..it would rarely happen
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
What do you think about people who have psychics' readings?
Posted: 7/31/2009 10:56:50 PM

Psychics', along with astrology and religion (and countless other related things) are for weak-minded, delusional people.


Precisely. those things are for people why cant understand anything for themselves or solve their own issues, which they should be able to solve..they are all week and are looking for some kind of "guidance" to help them along the way...they are extremely delusional.

Shrinks are the same too....they just rip people off mostly...and no people..psychic power does not exist
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Is being faithful a thing of the past?
Posted: 7/31/2009 10:46:56 PM
*sigh* OP it's sad to say, but generally speaking it's true..it really is...cheating has bene around form ever since..but it is definitely more prevalent now....and women are now cheating as much as men are...

why is this the case?.well i believe its the fact that we live in a world were sexuality is in the open...people flirt with each other all the time..women dress sexy..we see lots of pretty women and hot guys on TV etc and then we try to find one like them in real life and cheat on our partners...that as well as the fact that people always think that there is someone better out there for them than their present S/O...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Do u believe in love at first sight???
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:37:57 PM
ow..how silly it is for people to actually believe that something like that exists?..my gosh! when will people grow up and stop fantasizing?

IT DOES NOT EXIST...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
asking to take it slow
Posted: 7/28/2009 11:09:39 PM
The guy is not a "power dater" he is just experienced with online dating. You can't get to know anyone via e-mail or chat. You have to actually meet them.


Precisely. I am experienced too when it comes to things like that..and I always laugh at people when they say crap like"lets get to know each other first before we meet"...it's impossible to "get to know" someone without having to meet with them in person and interact..sure you can get to know "a few things about them" but that is not the same as "really getting to know" if you know what I mean.

Why waste time chatting and talking on the phone..what use is that? really?


i have met three people after a conversation...it has not worked...now i am wary...i take my time


sweetie..meeting up early had nothing to do with why things didn't work out..even if you had waited 2 weeks before you met them it still would not have worked out..you guys just weren't a match..and the ONLY TRUE WAY to know that is meeting them face to face and have a conversation..there is NO other way
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Is it really that hard to have a good time...
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:58:28 PM
OP this is exactly the reason why so many people say internet dating hardly works..because always seem to try less and hard and have a "who cares, i can always go back to the other guys/girls who emailed me/i contacted etc" mentality..and i am not saying that what she was was just give up..because maybe she genuinely didn't find you as her match..but i am pretty sure you have many men and women who have the mentality i described above..and for that internet dating will always have a huge gap in it
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
why are women surprised when you do what they ask
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:36:36 PM

minds and thoughts do get changed. It is confusing.


In this case..it has nothing to do with minds changing..she already packed lingerie prior to the trip...so it means that she already planned to give him some or at least open to the idea of giving him some...she already was ok with giving him some vagina...she acted like your typical woman....playing mind games..and getting upset when the guy rejected her for sex.....
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Too picky? Just don't want to settle
Posted: 7/25/2009 2:08:58 PM

But I will agree to disagree, as I do believe there is someone that is perfect "for me & I for them" out there in the sea


There is still no logic in that..no one is perfect for another person...there will ALWAYS be one thing or another that the person does or how they are etc..that you don't like about them...even if its a "minor" thing....the word perfect means "without flaws"..and one one person can be "perfect" for another person..and you will NEVER find a man that is "perfect for you"..that is impossible...

Not trying to bring you don't or anything..just point out to you you cant find perfection in anyone...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I think I get it.
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:20:05 AM
OP I sense what you are saying..and you have a valid point...a lot of people have the mentality where its very easy to give and think that they can just go from one person and find another easily or for other reasons..but its been my experience as well that people on a whole like to give up easily...especially in the American/Canadian culture....
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
A new paradigm in online dating ... hardcore style
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:56:52 PM
LOL OP..funny..BUT to be serious..that dating site sounds like a great idea! And the good thing about it too like you said is that...you could only see and view a limited number of profiles per day..or better yet per week LOL...the reasons why I personally don't think online dating is that successful is because of the fact that most of us generally speaking have more choices to choose ..or at least that is what they believe can happen..

People give up easily..even if the person has one minor fault...and usually most people have their dates lined up so its like they don't give a sh!t about you and if things don't work out because they have other options they can fall back on...that in my opinion is one of the biggest problem in online dating..We have too many option/temptation etc..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 307 (view)
 
When the bill comes on a first date...
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:57:26 PM
So a blind date is what? Your logic fails me. You are scheduling time together hoping to connect on a romantic level. I really hate to break the news to ya but that's called a date.

Maybe a definition would help:

Date:
"An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest


Hey Man..I was just laughing at that woman who was talking about what a date is lol..she is very funny..It's like she only believe a date has to be some sophisticated outing etc..where you spend money or do something extravagant. OF COURSE a meet IS a DATE! ..A date does NOT have to be something formal or as I described above..as long as you are spending time with a man or woman you have romantic/sexual interest in and are trying to get to know them more as a person it is a DATE...

I should also point out that a date does not have you be some two hour or more event either...there is no set time for a date per se..even though its more likely you will get to know more about the person the longer you spend with them..so yes a date can be even 30 mins..anyhoo


You can still be a woman without conforming to stereotypical gender roles. Don't worry, you will still be 100% woman(without the testes) and I wouldn't have it any other way.


Exactly. Again, I just love it how some women seem to think that if they don't conform to stereotype or live by "societal rule" they are some how "less of a woman" lol..too funny! They always use that EXCUSE to get out of a situation that is to their advantage..especially when they have to spend money..women are funny..they believe that they are the only ones who want to feel special and cared for..hmm let me guess if a man feels that way and want to be treated that way he is "less of a man right"?

Another illogical/ignorant comment...I guess I better not get emotional or wash the dishes or cook dinner or clean the house or watch girly movies etc..because I will turn into a woman!

Also I love it when women use the "old fashioned" line when it comes to dating/relationship..yet if they were asked by a man they are interested in or in a relationship with to be a stay at home mom/house wife and make sure 3 good meals are always ready for him..you would hear a different story..yeah so "old fashioned"...

It always amazes me that women only use the old fashioned excuse when it comes to dating and paying for dates etc..yet they never say they are old fashion when it comes to other things...like...being a stay at home mom/wife..YES that is a part of being "old fashioned"..a lot of women on here just want to be "part-time" "old fashioned" women...if you say you are "old fashioned" you have to be that way in EVERY sense....that is what TRUE old fashioned is...of course I don't expect most women to get that concept....

So with hat being said..anyone ready to call me a "woman hater"? or a "bitter"/"angry" person?..come on I am ready for it..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Girl likes guy...but doesnt want to admit it.
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:07:57 PM

men will never figure out exactly how women think, and vice versa. However, men

are largely governed by logic and women by emotional logic, per se. The two are

vastly different.


true to an extent..but I think time has changed a bit where men have a better understanding of how women are think and why they do some of the things they do..what we fail to understand is the "logic" behind it if you will..that is where it becomes extremely for us as..

women are very illogical, which is why we cant understand "their" "logic"..or should I say "lack of"...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 103 (view)
 
What have you learned so far?
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:55:46 PM
I have also learned that for the most part..if a man says something negative about women (or use a harsh tone) they are automatically labelled a "woman hater" or someone who is "bitter" and "angry"..even if they are talking facts or just stating their opinions it's like a man should never say anything negative about women..we should only say nice things about them..they have no flaws bla bla bla....

and likewise..the same applies to women when they say something negative about men..they are labelled "bitter" and "angry" etc etc etc..bla bla bla...

So with that I have learned that you have a lot of sensitive people here who also can't accept the truth, and never want to hear or accept anything negative about their own gender....the truth hurts I guess....
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 293 (view)
 
When the bill comes on a first date...
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:29:54 PM
Guess we're a couple of old fashion girls Tracyannk!!!


yeah I bet you are only old fashioned when its in your favour, right?..


Manliness is achieved by paying money for food women eat. Womanliness is achieved by eating free food. Life is good.


I know right?..I am always amazed at some of the things women say that men should do to make them "manly"..and the funny thing is..it often involves them (the woman) just taking a back seat and the guy doing most of the work...or paying whatever the case may be....women..gotta love them!
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
MSN/IM phobia prevalence causing people to go POOF!
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:00:32 PM
OP I have have the exact same experience MANY times..its really weird because we will be talking a lot by emails here on pof..and then as soon as we exchange msn contacts..we barely ever talk..even when we are online and chatting there..they seem to hardly have anything to say..its just weird ..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Girl likes guy...but doesnt want to admit it.
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:36:22 PM
absolutely wise monk...its a reality situation where the woman reacts like that after another woman goes out with the guy..oh and that crap about society has made acceptable for the man to approach the woman and get rejected bla bla bla..is just an excuse that a lot of women use..anyway..
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Why do women refuse to make a first contact after you have already met
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:17:02 AM
Go take an anthropology course, a human anthropology course, anything that will educate you on why we are the way we are. Society only tries to arm wrestle Mother Nature, but...remember, she always wins. Do you sincerely think that ten thousand years of evolution is going to be changed in 30 years?????? By man-made society??
It's like saying horses will change the world and the way we think within 30 years.
Man is a mere drop in the rain-bucket as far as Mother Nature is concerned.
Your spin is getting tiring in it's rhetoric and lack of facts. Also, your anger at women is very prevalent. It smokes of it.
It just tells me that you are insecure.


LOL it never fails to amaze me how most of the women here always think that if a man says something negative about women he is "angry/bitter" or he is a "woman hater" LOL interesting..my gosh..I guess I should always say positive things about women even if I dont mean it...yeah..I guess if I had agreed with most of the women here I would no longer be "insecure" and I would no longer be called "angry"

Oh and maybe you need to take said courses to try and find out why men are the way they are..how about that?..then you would understand why we do the things we do....maybe most women should take their own advice and accept the fact that men do certain things because its their nature as well? or should it only be us men who should just accept the "nature" of women?

Ahhh..anyway why bother..i will only be deemed "angry" or "insecure"....it's funny how things is spinning around me being insecure...when I am not the one who is afraid to assert myself with a woman I like...hmmmmm

And what lack of facts do I present?


I believe in partnerships..it is about romance and being wooed...just how I am wired


Again..it's ridiculous for you to say that you cant be "wooed" as how you put it..if you show more interest in a man..anyhow..


I do not have to chase him to show/tell him that


Right, but a man has to chase you, to "woo
you right?


men looking for expression of interest is no different, nor motivated by different feelings, if they are so secure..why do they need a woman to do something specific to express it themselves?.


It's just about NOT having to do every blessed thing in the dating stage..we expect the woman to ask us out as well..to make decisions on what to do, where to go..pay for the date..all of those things..thats what is about...then someone has the audacity to say i am "insecure" for wanting that LOL....oh man..too funny


I'm actually pretty brave in most circumstances..it is about seduction and what I find to be masculine to my version of feminine...and some positive indication that my efforts are wanted or will be appreciated works for me..


Oh if seduction is what you want..you can still get that by being more assertive..and still find that masculine version as how you say it..not sure where you get all this notion from that if you assert yourself you will feel less feminine or whatever..do you think that those women who are the type to be more assertive with men...feel less like a woman? or that they don't find their particular men masculine?..if so why would they continue to be that way?..you are giving excuses instead of reasons why you want men to be the way you want them to be..anyway god luck zangie finding your prince charming who will woo you off your feet. :)
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
What have you learned so far?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:49:10 PM
I have learned that dating is a very difficult thing...and to achieve a really great long lasting relationship is even more difficult..though I am still optimistic that I will find my match that will last a lifetime ....

what else..oh that women, at least most anyway...tend to only want old fashioned values and do old fashioned things usually when it favours them..I have also learned that women are a lot more complexed than I though..I have learned that women with so called traditional values/beliefs are not the ones for me..

and one more thing, I have learned that dating is a game...its a numbers game, and its also a "head game"..and almost everyone....male or female...plays the numbers game and the head game..though the "head game" is more common...yes, even the ones who you would not believe play the head games are the expert on it....


<div class='quote'>POF is a dating site. It is filled with idealistic adults expecting the "miracle". The One born just for them....the soulmate that has been looking for them, too... Many disappointments later.....and waking up to the espresso smell of reality...

Very well said. Its unfortunate that a lot of people dont think in realistic terms, instead they think in terms of what can happen base don movies and what they read. People have VERY unrealistic expectations..and the sad thing is that for most of them..it will take forever for them to smell reality..also some of them will never smell reality...

I have learned that..telling the truth gets a lot of people defensive, and they never want to hear what they think is right..they cant take honesty..even though they say they want honesty..go figure!

Actually a lot of what I said I already knew....like Landra said..the forums just reaffirms a lot of what I knew before...reading the forums and being on this dating site overall..just makes a lot of things more evident....

 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Why do women refuse to make a first contact after you have already met
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:25:57 PM

How many "stupids" did I read in this?
Any man who calls women down like this, in my estimation, is someone to walk far and away from. Methinks that you have had TOO many woman tell you to "piss-off". You are a rejected little boy. Oh, I took your man-card from you because of the put-downs to the lovely women on here who disagreed with you.
So, now you have adopted this "I am almost like a ManGod" attitude and a "I don't need to do anything for any woman" attitude. "She has to see me and say to herself, I must have him at all costs." The confident woman who is attracted to the likes of you and initiates is a ...ahemm...well, let's just say that women who don't need to chase guys will bypass you. Do you pine after women who are really attractive, decent and don't need to chase down men? Must be hard for you.
Read the thread. It's not about equality of the sexuality drives. It's about what are men and what are women and what nature has built in her quest for perfection.


I have not been rejected anymore than the average man...so if thats what you mean by a rejected little boy then I guess I am a rejected little boy.

Oh and men who dont like to chase women will bypass women like you as well..goes both ways....I don't chase after women..nor do I want or expect them to chase me..I expect her to show interest..just as I will do..again it goes both ways darling..I dont play games when it comes to dating..i want and expect women to be direct and straight forward with me..hence if she is interested she SHOULD show interested not necessarily by words..but by ACTIONS..maybe you are one of those women who are severely afraid of rejection and have low self esteem...and you want to feel like a little princes who wait for a guy to sweep you off your feet..good luck with that.

Perfection? there is no such thing as perfection when it comes to relationship.

And by the way how did I "put down women"?..If I say someone's comment is stupid..thats different from saying they are stupid..smart, intelligent people DO say stupid things too....didnt you know that? you are an overly sensitive female..surprise!
 
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