25 years of friendship over chat & forums.

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tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

25 years of friendship over Posted: 10/5/2009 10:55:15 AM
Unfortunately, I have to agree with A-womans-best-friend. Some woman are just too insecure or possessive to allow female friends. I used to put up with that for the sake of the relationship, and consequently lost some good friends over the years. Now, I try to find out early on if this is an issue. If it is, then the red flag goes up immediately, as especially if it is due to possessiveness- that should have ceased in high school. If it is due to insecurity, I try to find out how bad it is and perhaps proceed with caution. Don't blame him though - he probably mourns the loss of your friendship as well, which is why he wanted to maintain written contact. BTW, if she puts too tight a ring on him, he may bolt anyway, and you will regain your friend.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 24 (view)

How does one define what is a recent photo? Posted: 10/5/2009 7:01:27 AM
Don't obsess about it. Meet her for a drink or dinner and decide then. You are not buying a painting for the wall - you are looking for a relationship. If it works out - you both will change in the future and not likely for the better.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Woman's sex drive Posted: 8/27/2009 5:35:10 AM
Just like guys, a womans desires/needs vary widely from "Once a week and be grateful" to "can't get enough" . Guys get the wrong impression because women are taught to hold back when they are young, which has nothing to do with what they are really feeling!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Carpet or Hardwood - what's on your floor? Posted: 8/25/2009 3:44:49 PM
Tile! No rug burns or termites and easy to clean. Throw a rug on it and when you don't like the rug anymore - you roll it up and toss it away.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

My last 8 SENT emails still show as unread. Where's the tech support? Posted: 8/25/2009 5:26:25 AM
Perhaps you are emailing the wrong people. The overuse of texting slang and general format may turn off many folks. I usually look at the profile before reading the mail. On days when I have a lot of mail , if not interested, I may not even read them. Sometimes I can tell from their profile that they really did not read mine, and instead just looked at the picture. I haven't had any issues with unread mail. Yes, sometimes a gal won't read them, but that is rare.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Breast Implant Psychology Posted: 8/23/2009 11:45:13 AM
"probably nicer to look at when done right" Unfortunately, there is so much bad surgery done. Just go to a POF party in Boca and you'll see. I am sure there are some good plastic surgeons, but I generally am not impressed. Yes, if you have an accident or cancer, by all means if it makes you feel better. However, for the rest, I prefer the real thing (big or small - I love them all )

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Best cities/states for single ladies/men to find someone in. Posted: 7/18/2009 8:22:04 PM
Ketch - I don't know what part of Florida you went to, but in SE Florida there are many good women looking for mates that actually live here. Maybe for pickups it wasn't so good - but for LTR there are more woment than guys in our age bracket

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

PHOTO'S GiGi's - Friday, July 17th, 2009 Posted: 7/18/2009 8:30:21 AM
... and a great time was had. Good band , good company, good location, good dancing . It was my first POF event. I'll be back. Thank you! Dave

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

MEET & DANCE PARTY - GiGi's - BOCA RATON - FRIDAY - JULY 17TH, 2009 Posted: 7/17/2009 11:33:32 PM
... and a great time was had. Good band , good company, good location . Thank you! My first POF event. I'll be back. Dave

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

breast cancer Posted: 7/13/2009 5:48:24 AM
Nice try but... Since Roundup was first marketed in 1974 and your postulate that that it takes 5 to 25 years to have an effect (that would be 1979 to 1999). How would you explain all the cases that occurred prior to those times? There is no question that we are living in a heavier chemical soup these days. Most likely that those who have a genetic predisposition or heightened genetic sensitivity do suffer increased maladies of all types from these exposures. However, your rant shows a lack of depth of knowledge on the subject. Note that I am not denying that Roundup may be bad for some people. However to blame it all on one product is foolish at best. There are many environmental chemicals that we are exposed to - some intentionally such as smoking, alcohol, and (for the ladies) birth control pills. Other exposures are result of farming, food processing, and pollution. Be informed and question what you read. Much of what you read on the web is unadulterated garbage. Look at the background research and qualifications of the organization or person making the claims.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Maybe I'm missing something... Posted: 7/10/2009 7:10:01 PM
Throw out picture #3. Change your primary pic - even though it is not very "chesty", it is enough to attract those that might not read. Keep it to replace pic 3, but get a new primary. BTW - Since you are in Fort Cracksonville territory - you will get many "spurious" responses - just ignore. Good luck and take time. Dave

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

IE8 losing or dropping session state? Posted: 7/10/2009 4:46:40 PM
That is why they called it windows - you can launch both at once in their own window. (Plz don't tell me you are one of those folks that runs everything in full screen mode.)

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Men why add me to favorites and not make contact? Posted: 7/10/2009 4:00:34 PM
1. He is building a list of next in line 2. He is insecure 3. You are really cute, but not in his area (like putting Farah Fawcett on the wall R.I.P.) 4. He is a collector - it seems that some men and women as well, just like to collect favorites - go figure. 5. He wants you to contact him

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Do you remember the first person on pof to mail you ? Posted: 7/10/2009 2:39:53 PM
Yes, and she still has me on her favorites list!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Why is no head an automatic turn off for guys Posted: 7/10/2009 2:20:35 PM
Ooops - I didn't answer your question - because it feels so good and it is also the one time that the guy doesn't have to "perform". Tell me - don't you enjoy it when a guy goes "south" on you? I have known women that were initially nervous because it was something new for them, but never anyone that didn't like it, and some that demanded it!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 22 (view)

Why is no head an automatic turn off for guys Posted: 7/10/2009 2:15:52 PM
Don't worry , he is probably one of the guys that complains all the time about not getting any responses to his mail - now you know why

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

fantasy forced sex Posted: 7/10/2009 7:13:09 AM
"The only issue with a rape fantasy is that for a guy who is new to the idea, it sometimes backfires making him feel dirty" Yes, I'll admit to being uncomfortable when someone wants to play rough - I wasn't brought up that way. While I understand logically that it is just her fantasy - emotionally it doesn't click and feels like I am doing something wrong.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

How to drop 30lb and stay cut? Posted: 7/10/2009 6:51:19 AM
You put on 30 lbs in two years? You are either drinking way too much (booze, beer, or soda) or eating way too much. That amount of weight gain in such a short period of time indicates that intake is likely a bigger problem than calorie expenditure.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

If chivary is dead why do I get in trouble for it? Posted: 7/7/2009 2:20:00 AM
From Mr. Provocative: Well, if you can't open the door for them........ than maybe they can open it for you! _____ One of the things I look at is mutual courtesy. My car has electric door locks, but my SUV does not. I went out with a gal once and it was pouring rain out. I opened her side so she could get in and stay dry. Do you think she unlocked my side - no! That was her last date (that attitude also extended elsewhere). Courtesy goes both ways - I'll open the door and do laundry, but if she treats me or others (especially wait staff) like servants - time to take a hike. However, I digress. The reason men get confused is that some like doors being opened (and other things of that nature) and some don't - so you really never know until you try. My philosophy is for me to generally do it, but for her not to always expect it every time.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

How important is money? Posted: 7/5/2009 2:02:34 AM
>Ah yes another finacial industry slave well on the way. Here is a thought why not just >spend what you have available to spend? Buy now pay latter, paying more for the >same items because you could not afford it, and making sure your number matters >because SURPRIZE!!!! the people that want you in debt pay for those commercials >because if you are not in debt then they have nothing to report and therefore nothing >to CHARGE companies for. However, using credit responsibly allows you to be able to buy a newer car, a home, cover emergency expenses. The problem is that many misuse credit and then run into the trap of needing credit on a daily basis because they are short on cash due to paying back the moeny they already borrowed. Credit rating does count! Having money doesn't make you happy. However, not having enough to pay your bills, buy food , keep the car going, etc. is bound to make you unhappy and add significant stress to your life.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Is this to much to ask? Posted: 7/5/2009 1:42:04 AM
I would think not. Normally one would have an interest in ones SOs activities. However, it appears not to be so for him Perhaps in the past he has asked - looking for the short answer, and received the long answer - so no longer asks. Or maybe it is just the way he is. Is it also possible that he is maybe understanding, yet resentful of the time that school takes away from your time together? i.e he understands the neccessity of it but wishes you had more time together. This often occurs with school and with having children. Food for thought. Tread lightly on this one.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Why is there such a difference between men and women? Posted: 7/4/2009 1:56:23 AM
I would have to say that you've made an incorrect generalization. I had to put a preference list on my profile since I was receiving so many emails. I am looking for a few compatible women (one actually), not 50 dates. Now it is true that some gals were a little off kilter, but most have been decent. You do have to present a package that is reasonably attractive. That includes a picture that is decent. This goes for men and women - there are some horrid pictures on here. ) There is one gal with a half unsnapped bra - what is she trolling for?) There are blurry pictures, pictures where the person is so far away you can't see the face, pictures with the ex, etc. Your primary picture should pop. The rest of your pictures should round out who you are. Then there is your profile - is it upbeat? Does it say anything about you other than the generic things that everyone says such as a sense of humor, beach, etc. The ladies will run from you as well if they think you are off kilter. Remember, you are here because you didn't find the one you were looking for elsewhere. Although this may have the appearance of a shopping mall, that is not how it works - you still have to take time. Think of your past relationships - while there may have been instant chemistry in some, but how many were built over time? Perhaps one even blossomed with someone that you weren't initially attracted to. All good things come with time - be patient.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Constant Emails From POF With Password In It... Posted: 7/3/2009 2:40:52 PM
Basic rule in computer security: Never send anything in an email, that you wouldn't put on a postcard In this case - I would make sure your password is a non-secure password. With so many sites asking for passwords, I keep four levels. The highest is for where the money is, the second highest for where I get money from - CC, etc. the third is for sites that I really would rather have people not get into, but wouldn't cost me anything. The lowest level is for POF and other sites that have poor security policies, newspapers, and sites where they force me to log in, but I really don't care. It is good to be safe.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Sarah Palin Stepping Down As Alaska Gov. Running for Pres. 2012? Posted: 7/3/2009 1:57:10 PM
That will look good on her resume. Quitting as governor makes me want to vote for her.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

My Birthdate got changed by 1 day, I never changed it. Posted: 7/3/2009 2:08:59 AM
Join the club - my birthday also was changed from the 2nd to the 1st. Go figure - it just makes me a little younger

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Full frontal nudity? Posted: 6/30/2009 2:57:03 AM
14th commandment of POF Thou shalt not post pictures of ex-girlfriends

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

A pretty simple question.... Posted: 6/28/2009 4:15:09 AM
>Well I think going to the zoo is pretty normal for guys and girls or guys and guys, >seeing animals in cages does not make one gay. No, but hugging and kissing probably does. Humans are also wired for touch as well as sex. Now just like cats, some don't like to be touched and stroked - but most do.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Is it all just based on looks? Posted: 6/28/2009 3:33:36 AM
Rule of thumb Men want women that look a little better than they perceive themselves to be, but not so good looking that they worry about them straying!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

I wan't to get over him im tired of putting myself thru this! Posted: 6/28/2009 3:13:58 AM
> I begged him back in april he said no That was the second clue. The first was when he decided not to see you. You said you started to see him in January and broke up in February, which means you went out for anywhere from 2-8 weeks maximum. Then you went out for a few more weeks more in May, and he broke up with you again. That is not controlling, what it means is "he's just not that into you". Read the book. I've been on both sides of that equation, and most likely you will again as well. He may have gone the second time around because guys are not trained to say no like women are. He may also have been bored (no dates) or perhaps he remembered something he liked about you, but then realized afterward he didn't like the whole package. It is unfortunate, but that is the way life goes. Time to move on. Good luck with the next one.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Dating/Mating Primary Dumb Answers (Questionable Series X) Posted: 6/27/2009 5:35:42 AM
Hilly said: Personally I think old people should just pack it in and behave. As soon as you look better in your clothes then out of them, its time to give getting naked a miss and take up knitting or bowls like old farts...oops....I mean people are meant to. I say: Never give it up - just need to use the light switch and take off the glasses - instant youth again!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

What Happened? Posted: 6/26/2009 3:16:08 PM
PS - If the tests come back negative, and this continues - then I will agree with the horseman - time to bail

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

What Happened? Posted: 6/26/2009 3:11:39 PM
I can sympathize with you. A similar thing happened to me about 25 years ago. We were both 28, and when she found out she had breast cancer - everything changed. Fortunately, she survived, and is still alive today. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't survive. Remember, her world and priorities have just been completely turned upside down. Her priority is now on survival and recovery, and apparently feels that she needs to focus all her energy on that. She may also be feeling that she doesn't want to drag you down with this if it doesn't go well. Some people cling to those closest - others isolate themselves. Either way, she is likely to be easily upset, and have severe mood swings - nothing to do with being female - just the nature of dealing with the disease. Just be prepared for it. If you do end up remaining friends or lovers - be ready for the roller coaster and be strong. Listening and saying nothing may be the best thing you could do - which is hard for a male, because we like to solve problems. Good Luck

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

So many nice women looking but no-one talking Posted: 6/26/2009 8:14:28 AM
Start with a new primary picture. Face shot, no sunglasses, no dog, no hat, closeup. Reduce the number of pictures of your dog - you want the lady to go out with you, not your pup. Are you writing? Don't wait for the ladys to write you. Is anyone adding you as a favorite? Write them! Instead of mentioning that you are shy three times, perhaps say that you are quiet until you get to know someone. Smoking and drugs will drastically reduce the number of people interested, but don't fib about it either, because that is even worse. Good Luck

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Do guys ever really want to be friends with an ex? Posted: 6/26/2009 8:06:08 AM
I would hate to disagree with the others, but... Yes, I often remained friends with ex girlfriends. After all, you did find each other attractive at one point. So, unless they raked you over the coals (or you them), why would you not wish to be friends or at least cordial. That doesn't mean you sleep with them (I only did that once - briefly - there are always exceptions) . Often a period of separation is needed is there are really hurt feelings about breaking up, but as long as there were no games or deceit involved, one can never have too many friends. My best friend used to hate the fact that I often remained friends because he never did - and I thought it was his loss. My two cents worth for the day.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Receiving substantially less messages after a month normal? Posted: 6/25/2009 9:49:59 AM
It is normal to receive less, as you no longer show up as new. Try logging on frequently, even if it is only for a second. This pushes you up where you are more likely to be seen - especially early weekend mornings and Sunday evenings when more fish are likely to be swimming!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Could you please give me any feedback on profile. Thanks Posted: 6/25/2009 9:41:21 AM
You are quite correct - the pictures are quite poor. Time to call a friend!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

red flag Posted: 6/25/2009 6:10:55 AM
Obviously she is very distraught at the moment - this is the second post from her on the same subject this morning. Lighten up. Miss Florida - the weather in Montreal is not the greatest today, so why not visit the the Montreal Biodome - it might give you something else to think about - being here on the keyboard is not what you need now. Then head out and try to enjoy Chinatown, or the shops. Look around you. I suspect you know you need to come back here, but getting out of the house will probably help to at least clear your head. Good Luck, Dave

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

just ranting... Posted: 6/25/2009 5:57:40 AM
I'm afraid POF is not like a used car lot , where you just pick one out and go. You need to present an attractive package (don't tell the lady "you bet you can beat her in pool" - duh) then you have to find her attractive, then you have to email/talk/meet and see if things start to click. This all times time, and any bumps in the road may mean starting over. Patience my friend, and you may be richly rewarded. And don't be in a hurry to do the horizontal bop. If it happens great, but if she is what you really want - take the time needed, and let her decide that she really wants you as well. If you have problems with that - stay home and rent a porno or a hooker.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

need advice , moved to Montreal for boyfriend Posted: 6/25/2009 5:33:43 AM
Come on back. There are plenty of fish down here, and we are not frozen!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

what wrong with me Posted: 6/24/2009 6:26:40 PM
1. Picture needs to go. Have a friend take some. What are those clothes in your closet??? 2. gouverment - Bad start when you misspell your occupation . I know it is not spelled that way in English, and it is not correct for French either. (and working for the government doesn't really say what you do. 3. You don't have a car - that turns off a lot of women. While you don't need one to get around Montreal, it is considered a sign of stability at your age. 4. Writing a long poem which kind of rambles on, is not broken up, and is kind of tedious to read on a computer screen is not really telling anyone about yourself. 5. Spellcheck again.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

What's the pedalpumping obsession all about? Posted: 6/24/2009 12:13:14 PM
I think there is a reason it is very obscure - there are all kinds of kinks - but you are right why would anyone....

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

what is a reasonable amount of time before making a committment Posted: 6/22/2009 4:19:03 AM
What type of commitment? exclusivity, living together, marriage? It also depends on the person - some jump in with both feet after only a month - others like to take the time to let things blossom. Unfortunately, everyone is different (that applies to many aspects of dating - which is why some people get so confused - open the door for one gal and she says thank you, the next will want to doo it herself - and the list goes on) So, you need to ask your partner and see how he really feels, but don't do it a 11 pm with both your heads on the pillow - after dinner and glass or two of wine is better - in wine there is truth!

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

why am i always just friends? Posted: 6/22/2009 3:15:36 AM
Maybe because you are pretty and smart. A lot of guys have problems with gals that are smarter than they are (I wish I could find one that was smart, attractive and even tempered), especially if they are good looking as well. Don't despair - if you go off to law school - you find the smart ones. You'll just have to try to find the rest of the qualities you are looking for there.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

Do i need to fix anything with my profile Posted: 6/22/2009 3:10:25 AM
Unfortunately being in a wheelchair means that it will take a special lady for you, and that will cut down the number of responses. That may be ok though - some of the ones I received were of the "you have got to be kidding" variety. I would change your first picture though. Eyes closed and on the phone? Not good.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

friends with Benifits growing into more ? Posted: 6/22/2009 2:20:11 AM
You've been friends for 8 years, you have had feelings for him, you are sleeping together, and now he is acting more like a BF instead of a FWB. It sounds to me like the smoulder caught fire. This could be the best thing for you or the worst. Many relationships burn hot, burn fast, and burn out. This one sounds like it has had time to grow and mature (and maybe him too). It is time to talk, but one thing is for sure - it is extremely unlikely to ever be the same again. At this point, you have already risked losing a friend. That can't be changed, so there is only upside to look at - that this may be the one. When my father was married (2nd time) , his toast at the reception was: " Today I married my best friend" - They are probably one of the happiest couples I know - and have been for 15 years.

tug2hearts

Joined: 2/24/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

When a man is routinely giving a woman money... Posted: 6/22/2009 1:31:07 AM
Hmmm, sounds like child support or he is married

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