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sassygal514

Joined: 2/27/2009

Msg: 45 (view)

Sleep Over... Posted: 7/8/2009 2:09:16 PM
Ok well first off in this house NO WAY on Gods green earth would a boy be staying over if my daughter was 11 not a chance. I know of a girl who lost her virginity to a boy when they were both 11 so its not like everyone is still playing Barbie and cars at this age it does happen. If it did happen my daughter would be sleeping in my bed with me for the night BUT it categorically wouldnt happen anyway. Maybe im a bit funny or something those of you who are saying its fine are you nuts or something. Also the movie - OMG - it may be rated PG-13 in USA but in UK it is rated 15 I saw the trailers for that and sh1t myself was too afraid to see the film myself it has actually been billed here as the scariest film of the year!!!! I cannot believe that she took him or that any of you took your kids! I would not allow my kids to watch anything age appropriate if I had not screened it first and deemed it ok. I think its a good thing that you are getting custody - I am shocked on both counts here cannot believe what I am reading - maybe its because I'm British!!! 8-0

sassygal514

Joined: 2/27/2009

Msg: 193 (view)

Discipline - Is yelling at your children wrong? Posted: 7/6/2009 3:58:32 PM
I have a four year old too (as well as a 21 month old) - lovely sweet beautiful little darling behaves sooo perfectly the minute she steps outside our front door, can take her anywhere and leave her with anyone they all say shes so polite isnt she happy does she ever stop smiling and so well behaved. Now I agree with this in a way because yes she can be like this USUALLY FOR EVERYONE BUT ME!!! (Im yelling lol) but as soon as we step foot in the door she turns into the devil. Wont do as shes told, answers back, wont tidy up her toys, wont get in the bath, wont come in from the garden etc etc. Everything is a battle. I'll give you an example. Yesterday messed up her room bad so cue mummy - tidy your room please - then later - tidy your room like I asked please - later still - have you tidied your room yet - so I say right well you stay in your room til its tidy then you can come and play in the garden with us. 20 minutes later she comes down all smiles having tidied (or so i believe). Bath time comes round and upstairs we go - guess what, its not tidy! So yes ill admit i lost my temper - RIGHT THATS IT GET IN YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW AND TIDY IT OR YOURE GOING STRAIGHT TO BED NOW! I didnt need to say another word she turned tail shot in her room and 10 minutes later triumphantly came through and said look how tidy it is now!I thanked her for doing as I asked and bedtime routine continued as normal. Another example; the 21 month old the other night would not lay down and go to sleep - i went in several times, put her back in and said bedtime go to sleep. The 5th time I went in I had had enough - I did not yell but I raised my voice and said right thats it get into bed right now enough is enough - she got in and pulled the duvet up and I kissed her goodnight and didnt hear another thing. I'm giving this as an example as I believe when all nice requests have failed this is how things get done in my house. If I sat her on the naughty step then said now tidy your room, believe me she would be sitting there all night because she would not get off the step and go and do it. I dont shout all day long and I choose my battles - some are just not worth the hassle and not worth getting into an argument about. Most importantly I never end the day with a fight - I always kiss and cuddle goodnight and tell them I love them, whatever has happened during the day. I think we all parent in different ways and I dont know of one other mother that I speak to at school who doesnt yell at their children - however I do think it is a last resort situation and not something that should be practiced all day every day.

sassygal514

Joined: 2/27/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

So much negativity, is there anything positive? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:21:31 PM
Negatives hes a cheat and a liar and makes a cr*p partner/husband/boyfriend but at least Ive learnt my lesson and know what to look for next time Positives He is the best father I know of. He has his kids every other weekend (he works the other weekends) and one night in the week without fail and when he has them he takes them places, he feeds them fruit and veg not rubbish. He buys them clothes and shoes and pays for out of school activities. All of this was worked out amicably without need for courts or solicitors. He does more for his kids than some parents I know of that live with their children. He also has a daughter from prev relationship who lives with him full time.

sassygal514

Joined: 2/27/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

23 Year Old Single Father Seeks Advice Posted: 7/4/2009 4:10:22 PM
Hi Will I'm very sorry for your loss it must have been a hard time for you and wonderful to hear you are looking after that little one, she probably means all the more to you having lost her mother. Well here is my take on things. My children are 4 and 21 months and to be honest I struggle to think of the day when I will meet someone special enough to share my life with and that would be special enough to introduce my children to, because I tell you, it would have to be someone very special. My kids are my world and I'm not sure how I could fit someone into that. Having said all that I dont like being alone but I dont really know what to do. The thing I am most scared of is bringing someone into their lives who on the outside seems fine but actually harms them in some way (Im not going to spell that out I think you understand what I mean) - I could never ever forgive myself. The other thing is that I do not want a parade of men going in and out of their lives, I think this would be incredibly confusing. So all I would say is have some fun, go out, have some dates and meet some people, get back into the world. But I wouldnt rush into inviting someone into your life until you are sure they are really special enough to be allowed into your daughter's life. I wish you luck and happiness and take care of that little girl, shes the most precious thing you will ever have. xx

sassygal514

Joined: 2/27/2009

Msg: 86 (view)

Should I? Posted: 7/3/2009 6:44:12 PM
I asked should I let him see her or no? Note: why are people getting out of this topic and arguing why I had the baby, why I did this, and that...???? I had her period. She is healthy and happy... I just wonder if I should let him see her before court, or should I wait for the court to say when, how and where. ( that is my question) As other people have said on here hun, people do have the capacity to change and he deserves the right to prove himself. If he takes this chance and destroys it then he does not deserve to be in her life. I disagree that children do not need fathers THEY DO and I would never deny my girls' dad contact with them even if I was in your situation. However, as he does take drugs, I would insist on supervised contact until he can prove that he has stopped all that (drug tests?) and if you are going to arrange for him to see her beforehand, I would ask for someone in authority to supervise (im in the UK we call it social services here if youre in the US maybe its called something else). If he wants to see her and promises to clean himself up, please dont deny him that, she will not thank you for it when she grows up. And to the rest of you having your little arguments on this thread grow up and get lost if you do not have constructive advice for this girl - she came here to ask help not to get a lecture!!!

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