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susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Is wisdom a turn-on? Posted: 2/22/2007 1:34:28 AM
You're welcome.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 198 (view)

Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar? Posted: 2/21/2007 12:46:04 AM
I have to laugh out loud and shake my head at all the ignorance this thread has produced. Many of you didn't bother to read why this thread was started. The man who began this thread IS Bipolar and is wondering how safe the waters are... and most of you have told him to run (or that others should run from him). It is very sad indeed. Choosing to be with someone who has the disorder is really no different than choosing to be with someone who has any physical illness with side effects. Like any illness it needs to be managed, but it is very predictable once you know the cycles. Not only can you have a normal relationship, but you may find that the nature of the disorder adds a heightened element to the relationship that makes it more exciting and adventurous than anything you have experienced before. I am bipolar and when I get manic (or at least hypo-manic) men seem to come out of the woodwork to be around me. I am lively... witty... sexually charged... and out to conquer the world. More than one partner has told me that despite how down I can get sometimes it is always worth it to see me return to "myself". Even when I am down I am not difficult to deal with. I just need a little time to regroup. Some people don't realize that being depressed doesn't always mean you are sad and mopey. For me (and many others) it is just a physical state. I am just slowed down. Low energy. Tired. Give me room to rest and I will be back up again. I agree that bipolar people have a huge impact on making the relationship work by being faithful to taking care of themselves... and doing everything in their power to stay balanced. Being with someone who is bipolar and is not taking care of themselves is a very scary and trying thing. Even the best of relationships cannot easily survive that. That said, your support will help them take the steps they need to keep that balance. Here is a little analogy I like. Most men (and women) really get into or at least appreciate high performance vehicles. These cars are fantastic... however they need extra special care to keep them in tiptop shape. Those that own them pour quite a bit of money into regular maintenance and tune ups to keep these babies purring. A bipolar mind is a high performance mind. Its capabilities far exceed those of a more average mind... when cared for and properly balanced it is amazing to see what it can do. Symphonies are written overnight... artistic masterpieces come to life on canvas... complex mathematical proofs never before solved are suddenly clear. Minds like these need care... but the payoff of a mind cared for is a beautiful thing to behold. I tell people that I want a man to love me FOR my mind. Not in spite of it. That the maintenance required is not thought of as a burden... but as part of the complex package that contains a thing of beauty. With the right care and support I can accomplish great things in my lifetime. To the OP: Make sure that you only get involved with women who do not see you as "ill" or "needing to be fixed"... these women will only get frustrated as you continue to cycle. They will not have the patience and understanding you will need to help you stay balanced. Yes, you have a disorder that needs some special care... but not unlike someone with diabetes who has to take insulin... or an asthmatic that needs to carry an inhaler... you just need to take care of yourself and you can have a very fulfilling... "normal" relationship!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Is wisdom a turn-on? Posted: 2/20/2007 11:38:05 PM
I am a woman who is extremely attracted to minds. If I encounter one that is open, constantly improving itself, pondering mysteries, searching for truths... I am drawn in. I look for old souls and kindred spirits. Wisdom generally accompanies the men I love. I often will not pay too much attention to his physical allure when his mind has me captivated. Here is the trouble though. If he engages my mind... the stimulation I get from that may never make it down to my body if he doesn't lead me there. I have befriended many men who I will have fantastic conversations with, but the relationship never goes anywhere because we spend all our time talking about ideas... even talking about sex... but never taking the relationship any further. But I digress... The answer is yes. For some women... wisdom is a turn on.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 123 (view)

Walmart-The Movie Posted: 4/5/2006 4:58:02 AM
I've just read all 6 pages so far... some good stuff here. Has anyone seen the recent documentary called "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices"? Fantastic film. A must see!!! Seriously. They did an incredible job with it. It is well researched... and tells many different stories... all with the same message. Wal-Mart is hurting America. It is hurting Canada and Europe too where they have stores. It is hurting China and India and other countries around the world where they have factories. It is not interested in taking care of its employees, of protecting its customers, with giving back to the communities it takes so much from... It is insane the level of Corporate greed involved. The lies that are told. The crimes that are covered up. The politicians that are bought... and on and on... There is hope though. They can be stopped. I wish I could buy enough copies of that DVD to send one to every home in America. People need to see it. And stop shopping there. I know they are the cheapest... and that is why we go there. Especially since their existence has made us poorer. They need to know we are not a bunch of idiots that don't think. That are really that clueless as to what we are losing... We have strength in numbers. If we don't shop there... if we don't work there... they won't survive. If you know there is a Wal-Mart coming to your town... you can stop them. Organize! There are people who can help! If you already have one in your town... fight for a union there. Canada is the only place employees successfully unionized. That Wal-Mart was promptly shut down. They don't want unions. If you can get the union at your Wal-Mart... they will either have to start treating you and paying you fairly... or they will have to close. If unions started popping up all over the country in the Wal-Marts things could drastically improve for everyone. Employees would be paid better, get the hours they need, get the benefits they need... which in turn will give the counties and states more money as those employees will no longer be forced to use the system. Also all the companies that are using Wal-Mart as thier model will see this and adjust their own companies accordingly. This has a much bigger ripple effect than you can imagine. You can also start to try and get the government to break up their monopoly. They did it with Bell... Microsoft... why not Wal-Mart?? Incidentally Bill Gates has given almost half of his wealth away... back in to the communities... and charities. The Waltons... all of them put together have only given away less than 1% of their wealth. Their employees living in poverty have contributed more to the crisis fund to support each other (over 5 million last year)... than the whole Walton family contributed... get this $6000... total. From all of them combined. These people are worth Billions. Their full time employees aren't able to feed their children and get proper medical care for them without state aid... and all the Waltons can give is $6000?? You know it won't last. Either America will go universally bankrupt... or there will be a revolution. You who are reading this thread and calling us whiners are really in the dark as to what is happening in this country. I beg you. Please rent the documentary. It will only take you one hour. One hour of just sitting there and listening. Then make a choice to not be part of the problem. Don't support it... and if you get fired up enough... go out and try and make a difference. PLEASE!!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Dating outside your species Posted: 4/5/2006 3:40:34 AM
I read. Lots and lots of books. Mostly non-fiction. I also watch movies. Lots of documentaries lately. They are inspiring me to get out and make more of a difference in the world. I have begun to volunteer... as I step that up... perhaps it will take the place of dating all together. Or maybe I will meet my true love at a protest. It could happen.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Sexy voices.......... what type turns you on? Posted: 4/5/2006 2:53:52 AM
I often use my lower register when I speak... it just feels more comfortable to me. I have been told multiple times by men that I could have quite a career as a phone sex operator. Scary... :P As for me... I also like low... sensuous voices... and accents! Not any mind you... I am from MN and the classic "Fargo" accent does nothing for me. :) A slight southern... like Matthew McConoughey... yum. He also has a bit of a crooked mouth so it is fun to even just watch him talk. An Irish accent... even just a bit of a lilt. Like Colin Ferrel or Pierce Brosnan. Or Scots... like Gerard Butler or Doughrey Scott. Aussies have sexy accents... Heath Ledger... or even Russell Crowe. All of these accents have to be slight... I don't want a southern boy who sounds like a redneck... or an Irishman or Scot that I cannot understand... or an Aussie that sounds like the Crocodile Hunta'... Crikey! Just a hint will do. And I don't know if I should even being saying this... but Angelina Jolie has an amazingly sexy voice... so sultry and sensual... especially with a British accent... think Lara Croft. She is another one that is fun to just watch her lips as she talks. I know I'm a girl... a straight one at that... but that girl completely turns me on.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

A Toga Party........hmmmm......this should be fun Posted: 4/5/2006 1:58:33 AM
Foxxy I would love to see you in saran wrap... Ha ha ha... go as a goat dyslexic! For me... I would go all out... the white sheet... the crown of leaves... nothing underneath...

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

So what happens when a person dies???? Posted: 4/4/2006 9:49:37 PM
I love reading the answers that you've all posted in response to this question. It happens to be one of my favorite topics... closely related to my other favorite subject -the meaning of life. Such diverse ideas... such varied beliefs... some of them tightly held to... others are a little more realistic about the fact that none of our simple mortal brains can know for sure until we die ourselves. With each new idea I read I am convinced even further that there is a truth much larger than any of us can conceive of in our limited imaginations. To say that any of us knows for sure or that any religion or belief system knows for sure is pure arrogance... although somewhat forgivable seeing as most of us do need a solid idea to cling to. I just wish that there would be much more humility and respect for the unknown element... I've always had an inquiring mind... the kind that can get you kicked out of Sunday School class when you are a small child because you are getting the other kids thinking... ha! Actually happened to me. Its funny that when you ask the right questions... the ones that make teachers, ministers, pastors, priests, elders, etc... squirm... you become the enemy. Rather than allowing their minds to open and ponder along with me... they cannot wait to get me out the door... and away from the rest of the parishners who might begin asking the same questions. What were they afraid of? Being wrong?? I think all of us will be wrong in the end... even those who got it mostly right... will still be blown away by the reality of what it really is about. Or not... maybe we will all get there... and go Duh! I remember this. I was here before... I wonder how I let myself forget. Who knows? I have gone through many variations of beliefs throughout my life... never believing in any one of them hook, line and sinker. Currently the idea of reincarnation makes a lot of sense to me. The idea that we are all on a spiritual journey. That we will all get a chance to experience life from every angle. That we chose the lives and the families that we are born into. That gives me a great deal of comfort. I like the idea that there is an interim time between our lives that we use to be with others in our spirit form... with our Creator... with the knowledge of all things. We can hang out with old souls and ask our questions. We can hang out with our living family and friends we left behind and guide them... until they join us. Then we chose to go back. Try a new experience... learn new lessons... give something to the world that will stay when we again are gone. I have always known old souls... people that even at a very young age seem wise beyond their years... who have gentle energy... why is that do you think? What secret do they know... even if they don't know that they know?! I think they maybe just have been around the block several more times. Haven't you ever met someone and connected with them right away... as if you have known them for years. Haven't you ever wondered if in fact you have known them for years... through lifetimes even... and just forgotten?? This idea that we come back... again and again... makes me really want to step up my investment into the world... what if we are not just building a future for our children... but for ourselves as well?? What kind of world would you want to be born into? One full of war, poverty, disease... where the earth itself has been polluted and disrespected to the point that even money cannot buy fresh air or water... ? I do find it sad that even though I most identify my beliefs and background with Christians as that is the worldview I was raised under... it is the Christians who have been most responsible for the rape of our world... the environment... the diverse cultures... they who have started most wars... and persecuted the most people... it is still happening daily. Many of the born-again Christians I know... and see in my culture... do not care about the earth itself... and the reason they give me for this is that Jesus is coming back soon... and it will all be destroyed then anyway... so who cares. Perhaps they are right... I love that reference to the South Park sketch of hell... because it really could happen like that... what if the born-again Christians are right? The jokes on us. They get raptured. We are left behind to be tortured with the rest of the world until we are all dead and in hell... burning... tortured for eternity... while Jesus/God restores perfection to the earth and those who never asked the questions... never wandered... who burned women as witches... wiped out entire cultures, lands, languages, and religions in the name of God and Westernization... dropped bombs on the innocent... ate junk food and watched their televisions every night while small children starved to death in Africa... and so on and so on... get invited to join him in this beautiful new earth... this Utopia? And he says... well done... my good and faithful servants. And back in South Park hell... the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses... and many many many various Christian denominations who didn't believe in the whole "born again" thing... as well as all the religions and schools of thought... no matter what good lives they led... good deeds the did... love they showed to humankind... animals... the earth... there we would all be burning... screaming Lord Lord... and he would look away from us and say "I never knew you".... Not hard to see why I never swallowed that teaching... it never seemed just to me. The God I served... knew... loved... would not have created such diversity... such incredible people only to punish them for these differences... Why did he bother with free will? Wow... sorry... I didn't mean to tangent... I guess I am a little low on sleep and prone to wander. Not all who wander are lost however. So.... What happens when a person dies?? I cannot tell you for sure... but I have a good idea that we (our souls) live on... and join God... and then do it all over again. That is the only answer that my soul feels at peace with. I think believing this will ultimately make me a better person... and lead a fuller life... And that is my final answer.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 104 (view)

Bumper Stickers Posted: 4/4/2006 7:30:52 PM
With so many religious right fanatics out there... voting for morons, starting wars, practicing racism and intolerance, treating people (namely women, homosexuals, and persons with disabilities), animals and the earth like crap... and then bragging about it on their bumper stickers... or asking you if you know whether or not you are going to heaven like they are... (WWJD indeed)... I am always impressed to see the retaliation: "If going to Church makes you a Christian does going to the garage make you a car?" "If you are born again do you have two belly buttons?" "God was my copilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat Him." "I bet Jesus would have used His turn signals" "God protect me from your followers" "Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers" "I found God. Now its my turn to hide." "Its easier to be born again than to have to grow up" "Come the rapture can I have your car?" "HONK if you think I'm Jesus" "When religion ruled the world it was called the dark ages" "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich" "Who would Jesus bomb?" "Lord help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be" "Doing my part to piss of the religious right" "I love my country... but I think we should start seeing other people" "People never lie so much as after fishing, during a war, or before an election." "Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity." "I'm against the death penalty. Look what happened to Jesus" "Nuke a godless communist gay baby seal for Christ!" "ARMY- Be all you're told to be." "Join The Army - travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting unusual people and kill them." "Somewhere in Texas there is a village missing an idiot" "The only bush I trust is my own" "US Foreign Policy: We'll bomb that bridge when we come to it" "Draft SUV drivers first" "Vegetarians do it with relish! (But wear a condiment)" "Vegetarians taste better" (They do... anybody read the many forums on pineapple juice?) "Our National Health Plan: Don't Get Sick" "Congress gave huge tax breaks to the rich and all I got was this lousy bumpersticker" "Friends don't let friends vote republican" "I think therefore I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh" "Give Bush an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler." "Don't believe anything until its been officially denied." "49% of America agrees with 99% of the rest of the world." (A personal favorite) "Why do we kill people who kill people to show killing people is wrong?" "Guns don't kill people - gaping holes in vital organs kill people" "Why experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers?" "If only closed minds came with closed mouths" "At Exxon, we help Jesus walk on water." "Vote Republican - Its easier than thinking" "Jesus was a liberal" "Guns don't kill people - they just make it real easy" "God forgive America" "Liberate Texas- they have oil too" "Patriots don't shop at Wal-Mart" "Love thy enemy implies not killing them" "Duck Fubya" "Support the troops - Impeach Bush" Then there are some... that perhaps are not offensive to anyone (as I am sure there are some of you who did not find the above funny at all...). These are other favorites of mine. "An erection is not considered personal growth" "Stay in the moment. Damn! Its gone!" "What if the Hokey-Pokey is what its all about?" "If you are what you eat. I'm fast, cheap, and easy." "Its as bad as you think, AND they are out to get you" "40% of all statistics are wrong" "Attention Thieves: There is nothing worth stealing in this car" "Sorry my car is a piece of shit, my parents didn't buy it for me" "If you can't operate your turn signals, what makes you think you can operate the rest of the car?"

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

try to work this one out Posted: 4/4/2006 5:29:57 PM
25 pounds (for the meal) + 2 pounds (for the tip) = 27 pounds 27 pounds (total) + 3 pounds (change) = 30 pounds The trouble is in the wording. If you don't break it down... and you just look at the 9X3+2=29... you will never figure out what happened to that extra pound. I was faced with this problem at a party last fall... only it was the hotel room scenario using american dollars... took me quite of few minutes of scratching my head before I stopped with the 9X3+2=29 nonsense. Its really very simple after that. :)

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 632 (view)

Favorite Quotes Posted: 4/4/2006 4:00:13 PM
"The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything." - Josef Stalin

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 631 (view)

Favorite Quotes Posted: 4/4/2006 3:56:56 PM
Well-behaved women seldom make history. -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Speak your mind even if your voice shakes! - Maggie Kuhn Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens. - Jimi Hendrix

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 630 (view)

Favorite Quotes Posted: 4/4/2006 3:53:56 PM
"When life hands you lemons, make lemondade. When hands you a load of crap, don't make anything. Trust me on this one."

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

can men accept someone with bipolar? Posted: 4/1/2006 1:15:31 AM
"Most men will agree : manic women can be extremely fun." I chuckled at this because it is pretty true. I am bipolar and when I get manic (or at least hypo-manic) men seem to come out of the woodwork to be around me. I am lively... witty... sexually charged... and out to conquer the world. I got engaged to someone while in this state once. Didn't work so well when I crashed. He said and did some extremely hurtful things once he discovered that I wasn't like that 24/7. Having someone in your life that is not understanding, supportive... and even gets abusive with you because of your instability is a recipe for disaster. Bipolar women (men too) need to protect themselves from being with mates who will drive them to deep dark places where suicide seems the best solution out. "Can men accept someone with bipolar?" Yes. But sweetie... don't be so grateful someone is willing to "put up" with your struggles that you overlook anything about them that can harm you or make your struggles more difficult. A good partner will be willing to learn everything about your illness... and help you to manage life daily. They will point you towards things that will benefit you... as ultimately it will benefit the relationship too. Let potential mates know your story. Be honest. You might be surprised at how many men are eager to take on that challenge. Keep in mind though... that you have a huge impact on making the relationship work from then on by being faithful to taking care of yourself... and doing everything in your power to stay balanced. Being with someone who is bipolar and is not taking care of themselves is a very scary and trying thing. Even the best of relationships cannot easily survive that. If you love them... you will do everything you can to stay healthy. I thought of a little analogy to what I am looking for myself in a man... what I will not settle for anything less than... perhaps this will help you too? Most men really get into or at least appreciate high performance vehicles. These cars are fantastic... however they need extra special care to keep them in tiptop shape. Those that own them pour quite a bit of money into regular maintenance and tune ups to keep these babies purring. A bipolar mind is a high performance mind. Its capabilities far exceed those of a more average mind... when cared for and properly balanced it is amazing to see what it can do. Symphonies are written overnight... artistic masterpieces come to life on canvas... complex mathematical proofs never before solved are suddenly clear. Minds like these need care... but the payoff of a mind cared for is a beautiful thing to behold. I tell people that I want a man to love me FOR my mind. Not in spite of it. That the maintenance required is not thought of as a burden... but as part of the complex package that contains a thing of beauty. With the right care and support I can accomplish great things in my lifetime. I hope to find someone someday who will want to go on that journey with me. Make sure that you only get involved with men who do not see you as "ill" or "needing to be fixed"... these men will only get frustrated as you continue to cycle. They will not have the patience and understanding you will need to help you stay balanced. Yes you have a disorder that needs some special care... but not unlike someone with diabetes who has to take insulin... or an asthmatic that needs to carry an inhaler... you just need to take care of yourself and you can lead a very fulfilling... "normal" life! He'll find you sweetie... you just keep taking care of yourself...

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

Bi Polar Disorder Posted: 3/30/2006 11:50:29 PM
The term Manic Depressive is outdated. Just like we don't say retard anymore for someone who is developmentally disabled. Yes it is a disorder and not a disease... but Psychology and Psychiatry are not mutually exclusive from one another. Psychology being the study of the brain/mind. And Psychiatry being the medical treatment of the disorders of the brain/mind. All Psychiatists have to study psychology as well as medicine to practice. Most brain damage done to someone who is say in a car accident is actually treated by a neurologist.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Bi Polar Disorder Posted: 3/30/2006 10:47:28 PM
Wow... this is a depressing thread to read. So many people (even those "in the business" on here are so misinformed). I have been living with this disorder of over 20 years and consider myself somewhat of an expert. I agree that some people are in worse shape then others... especially those that are in denial about their illness... or have an overlapping diagnosis. Also if they do not take care of themselves (i.e.: abuse drugs or alcohol, have poor diets, never exercise or take time to center their minds and find balance) they can be extremely hard to deal with. There is SO much that you can do though... as someone who loves them... and wants to see them healthy. I wish more people would take the time to really understand the disorder when a friend or loved one is diagnosed with it. The best way that I can describe the disorder to someone who never has heard of it... or has a backwards idea of what it is... is to tell them that it is like having a SEVERE allergy to stress. The allergic reaction is different depending on the person... but it is a very predictable illness once you get to know how it works specifically for that person. Find the triggers (the allergies) and protect yourself from them... shelter yourself from them just as you would anything else you were allergic to. If you were severely allergic to strawberries... you probably wouldn't eat them right? Or if you could die from a bee sting... you would probably carry a kit with you wouldn't you? If animals gave you asthma attacks... you probably wouldn't own a cat right?? Every Bipolar is different... but they are all sensitive. We feel things on a larger spectrum the most. We function differently. Our brains work differently. We cannot be held to the same standards that people with different brain chemistry... "normal" brain chemistry are held to. I think people who struggle with this disorder often have a harder time then they have to... because everyone is trying to make them conform... mainly by drugging them out so much... that they can no longer think. Their minds are slow and foggy. And they are no longer a threat to society. Don't get me wrong... medications have their place... and they do save lives. It is also possible for people with the disorder to lead healthy, successful lives without them... if they learn how to balance themselves naturally... and have loving people around them... that understand their need to give themselves a rest if they need it. In cultures past... people who stood out like we do... who have sensitivities... were seen for what they were and they were set apart... given special treatment... were honored for their insights and creativity... because they saw more than the rest could. They connected things with ease... they created masterpieces... they gave the world some of its best ideas. Our current culture does not allow for this. We all strive to be alike... it is a performance based culture... you are what you do... what you achieve... rather than you do what you are. Bipolars must do what they are... or they will not be. Our suicide rate is so high because we come into this world highly sensitive... and then are roughed up by the world and its expectations. Anyway... I could say soooooooo much more on this subject... but I don't want to lose you all. No doubt what I have to say will not be well received anyway... because people cannot free their minds from the stigma and stereotype of "mental illness" enough to see what it really is. There is a book I would recommend to all of you who are in a relationship with someone who is Bipolar... or even failed with one... and would like to be enlightened or maybe even reach out to their former love who is struggling. It is aptly called "Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder" written by Julie A. Fast and John D Preston, PSY.D. It is written for the spouse/significant other of someone with Bipolar disorder to guide them through that relationship... both to understand their partner... but also make the relationship work... and get the right help when it is needed. It is a fantastic book... one of my favorites in the hundreds I've read. Also flamefan- I am so proud of you for being courageous enough to go against the medication factor and actually take care of yourself. Sounds like you are making some excellent choices. Honey... you keep that up! I believe if you want love... and feel you deserve it... it will happen for you. There is amazing power in our thoughts and dreams. Keep dreaming. Dream for a man that will not only understand/except your condition... but will adore you for it. Who will not love you in spite of it... but will love you because of it. Our minds are capable of truly amazing things... Some men really get into high performance vehicles/sports cars. But in order to have one of those babies you have to take very good care of it. Use the right fuel and oil... and maintain it regularly. So we have high performance minds. We need a little more TLC then your average jane but when balanced and running well... just watch us go. We are brilliant!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

What do you do when you are bipolar? Posted: 3/30/2006 9:34:46 PM
There is a fabulous book you should read. It made a HUGE difference for me. Its called "Loving Someone With BiPolar Disorder" - by Julie Fast and John Preston, PSY.D. It is actually written for the spouse/significant other of a person with the disorder, but I found it extremely helpful as a single person... for knowing how a relationship works when one of you is ill. A warning though... it does have examples that can sometimes border on worse case scenarios... these can be depressing... both because you see how clearly difficult it can be for the person who chooses to be with you... but also what your future might hold (especially if you are inconsistant with meds). Overall though... a great book and a great resource. My advice... read it before you get into your next relationship. Also... there are some other things (besides meds) to keep you level and calm... Making these things daily practices can really benefit any relationship you have by preventing episodes. You may have heard it all before but diet is huge. BiPolar people are really sensitive to the things they put in their bodies. Exercise is a biggy too. Especially something like yoga or martial arts... where there is a good deal of mental calmness and focus involved. You can train yourself to stay balanced. Aromatherapy works... especially Lavender. Get a diffuser... put it in your bedroom... and your car. Get massages regularly if you can afford them. Don't just go to the Doc and settle for a "western" approach to your condition. Believe me... your life can be much better than that! Big thing with having a successful relationship is for your partner to really understand what you are struggling with. Knowing that yourself... and knowing some things that work for you when you are having an episode is critical for a relationship to survive. Its hard for someone to stick by you when they have no idea what is going on or where "you" went. Believe me... I know. I believe you have just as much of a chance at love as any of us... but just like all people you have to know yourself... in order to really "be" with another. So having manic/depressive episodes might make getting to know yourself a little more complicated. But you are in good company. Some of our most revered Artists, Composers, Writers, Poets, Actors, Musicians... and other various geniuses were BiPolar. Figure out what makes you tick... and what you need to balance yourself... and you could soar above most of your peers. It truly is a gift. Take heart.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

What not to say.. Posted: 3/30/2006 8:40:57 PM
I cannot stop laughing at all of these responses... they are so true! From the morons that cannot spell and ask only about your tits... to the ones that think they have found true love by reading two paragraphs on your profile... some men are so crazy. I have also found though that even those that start out by writing some very good e-mails at first can progressively get wierd on you... I found this out recently with a guy who seemed to have an awful lot in common with me... then he pulled a Mr. Hyde routine on me. Thank God I hadn't actually met him yet! Scary!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

March Meet and Greet. Posted: 3/29/2006 11:35:17 PM
I might be interested if you guys really get this together... I would have to drive down from Duluth... but I do that often. Right now the odds are in Katz's favor though with three women... and he the only man. Maybe we should just meet at your place Katz... hee, hee... j/k

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Dirty Words Posted: 3/29/2006 11:48:39 AM
Or Thespian. As in... My sister and I are thespians in our own touring show. I love this one... as I am actually a straight thespian. It means an actress.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Dirty Words Posted: 3/29/2006 11:46:27 AM
Masticate. As in... I masticated the juicy lamb. Means to chew... food.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

The Top Ten Reasons why so many Canadians are on P.O.F Posted: 3/29/2006 11:37:00 AM
Ha! I liked this version even better! I don't think I will ever get the knack of writing Top Ten Lists like you can... perhaps if I made fun of Amercians?? Personally I am a BIG fan of Canadians. I am one of those wannabe escapees that thinks my country is going to hell in a handbasket. Apparently it has become extremely difficult to get in though. If they vote Jeb Bush into office in 2008 I am going to marry the first Canadian I can get my hands on and get the hell out of here!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Does perfume really work? Posted: 3/29/2006 10:52:32 AM
I prefer men to smell natural... not stinky mind you... just manly. Men who have a good diet... and drink enough water smell really good... and their sweat turns me on! Its the pheromones I assume. If a man uses a cologned body wash... so it is subtle... that can be a nice treat... but men who douse themselves in cologne before going out... or in lieu of a shower... Yuk! Icky! If you must wear cologne... spray it in the air... and then walk through it. Thats it. Just a dusting.... and put it on your skin... not your clothes. Then it can blend with your natural scent and be muted by the clothes you put over it. Favorite scents include: Hugo - Hugo Boss Desire Blue - Alfred Dunhill Happy for Men - Clinique Pi (the symbol) - Givenchy Sometimes Agua Di Gio... by Armani... but seems like EVERY guy has this. I am also a big fan of essential oils being used as cologne. I wear these myself. Much better for your skin... and doesn't contain any toxic chemicals that you would inhale smelling yourself all day long. They are great for people who are sensitive to smells... and get headaches. They can also work as aromatherapy for you all day. I currently use Lavender regularly... keeps me calm and centered... and people say I smell GREAT!!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Would you ever go out with a guy because of his personality Posted: 3/27/2006 8:42:29 PM
I think I always have done this. If I am attracted to who he is... I have looked past the physical. none of the men I have been with were my "type"... by what I drool over when I see other men. I just haven't yet met a man that has both. In the end I think you do need sexual chemistry to "be" with the person. For women though... we are often attracted through the heart... so a man who we have fallen in love with can become the most desirable person to us physically. This happened with me.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Have you ever.. Posted: 3/27/2006 8:38:18 PM
I did once. We were engaged 12 days later. He was a soul mate... still is really. The reasons we aren't together now had nothing to do with how connected we are to each other. It wasn't "love at first sight"... it was more like a recognition. We just knew that we HAD to be together. Not sure if I will ever feel that again so intensely... but I hope to.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

The pull of a first love... Posted: 3/26/2006 9:06:16 PM
I did that recently myself. Reconnected with a former love. My first real... deep love. He isn't married like yours is... but lives very far away. So he is also out of reach. I can relate to your story. I remember his voice like it was yesterday. Our time together was brief... but I have never since felt the freedom I felt in his arms. I am dreaming about him just about every night. I find myself calling his name when I bring myself to orgasm. Not sure if I think it a good idea, realistically, to have him back in my bed... but I fantasize about it everyday. I am not sure what I would do if he was married. Miss him. Wish him the best. Still fantasize about him. Its a painful thing to fall in love with a married man. More painful still to break up a home... even an unhappy one. If you want to have a happy healthy relationship in your future (with him or anyone else for that matter) I would not recommend it. I think the reason the law of Karma (what goes around comes around/what you sow you will reap) is so universal in all cultures and religions is because there is truth and wisdom in it. I am worried that if you and he take up behind her back it would end in pain for all parties. Perhaps your presence in his life will shake him up enough to reevaluate his relationship and do what he needs to do (divorce her or make things work). Maybe he just needed to be reminded of what love should look like... and that is why you called him. What he chooses to do now... really needs to be all about him. My advice? Take a step back. Tell him how you feel... but then step out of the picture until it works itself out. If he leaves her... and comes back to you... then I hope you the best. Once last thought... that works both ways. Perhaps you were reconnected to him to remind you of the passion you want/need in your life. I think you can find that passion with someone else if you seek it. Perhaps that is what this was all about. I am looking at my situation much like that. Although my former love is not attached... he might just have crossed my path again to remind me of what I need. What I am looking for... I think I was getting off track a bit... beginning to "settle" for what is available... and easy. I need that passion that you spoke of... In all honesty though... we never forget out first loves.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

It still amazes me that..... Posted: 3/23/2006 9:49:48 AM
I like this site better than any I have tried in the past... And I love that its free... I like craigslist for the same reason... not for meeting people per se... but selling things... finding jobs and apartments... good stuff. I love these Forums. Good for the wee small hours of the morning when no one else I know is up. Dr. Katz- why take a break from it? I love what you said in your profile... it could make a good story. If it worked out... maybe just hide your profile for awhile... come back to it later... ? And I agree... I am a bit anti-dating... which is probably more extreme then your own view... That doesn't mean I won't "go out" with a man... and then continue to see him if we hit it off... and I too need one at a time. There is a casualness to "dating" that I cannot stomach.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

soo much selection. Posted: 3/23/2006 1:29:25 AM
I am a fan of Lilies... as my name means Lily. It is a thing for me... I'm sentimental. But I also like flowers in season... I love Daffodils and Tulips around this time of year... Lilacs too. Daisies in the summer... I love the smell of Gardenia's. An ex of mine spent hours once cutting out colorful flowers from construction paper and he "planted" at garden on my front door with them so they were there when I got back from work. It was probably the best bunch of flowers I have ever... or may ever receive in my life! Something with definite thought put into them is always going to go farther than a pre-selected bunch of roses from the gas station. Not that I have anything against roses... but they are so generic... that I think men don't even have to think sometimes to pick them up.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I want to get some things straight. Lots of questions. Posted: 3/23/2006 1:10:40 AM
Greg- Ok. You win. If for no other reason for the work you put into that alone. You obviously know your Star Wars... and now you have me all wound up to have a marathon this weekend and watch for your insights through all 6 films. I agree that one has to know what one is giving up (soul-spirit) to get what one wants. Having been a girl that has delivered the "you are like a brother to me" line to a friend who has fallen desperately in love with me I cringe at what you are now telling me. I wouldn't have pegged myself to be one of those girls who goes for the ones that have a little bit of bad boy in them... but I guess I am still single... and I have had to have "the talk" with more than one guy friend who has wanted more. Hmmmm... and the last guy I fell for... played me... ironically we are friends now (4 years later). I have quite a few player friends... and most of them tell me how unhappy they are... because they cannot be "real" with anyone. I guess that is the mechanical taking over than is it? Well damn it... when I was a girl I had a crush on Luke Skywalker... so there must be some hope for the heros of the real world. I am still looking for mine. Thanks to you I am going to take a closer look at the "like-a-brother" types.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I want to get some things straight. Lots of questions. Posted: 3/22/2006 11:56:58 PM
Greg- Decent analogy... I see your point... but don't forget that most of the movies we have give the example of the Nice guy... the Good guy always gets the girl in the end... sometimes after the Bad guy hurts her... Even Star Wars... Han got Leah... he was a nice guy. Of course Luke didn't... that would be incest. Eeww... Besides they didn't go into what happened after the awards ceremony... Luke probably had p*ssy left and right... if that is what he was into. Girls love heros. Don't forget Padme didn't like the evil in Annakin... he lost her... and she hid their children from him. Now that does sound like real life. Man goes over to the dark side... women and children go into hiding. Ha! This world needs more nice guys... to step up and take us. Where are you all hiding???

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Hmmm let me see..... Posted: 3/22/2006 11:33:16 PM
Masculinity for me compliments femininity by being sometimes the exact opposite. Men become real men to me when they rise to the occasion to round me out. The way a man feels... strong... powerful... such a contrast to my own soft body. The power and strength they can pass to me when I am in their arms... I never cease to marvel at how a man who could snap me in two could so gently... so tenderly kiss me... and make love to my body. It is sometimes in that restrained power that I find the real him underneath. When I am feeling small and vulnerable... and he protects me... comes to my defense... stands firmly in the path of danger. A man who tells the truth... is straightforward... not that he has to be so serious... I love a man who makes me laugh... when I know I can trust him... then I know I am dealing with a man instead of a boy. And don't get me wrong... I think a man should show his emotions... all this talk of strength doesn't mean I don't appreciate a man who can cry. It is in those moments when he allows himself to become vulnerable... that he honors my femininity... he allows me to hold him... sooth him... comfort him. We are so good at nurturing... they're so good at being protectors. I have a lot of respect for men who are who they were designed to be... not what they beer commercials tell them to be. Men who give me permission in turn to be who I was designed to be. But yes... the touch... the smell.. the taste... I could stay in bed for days... I love the deep timbre of a man's voice... the raw passion in his eyes... the downy hair on his arms... the little indents on his hips... that little treasure trail leading to... well.. that delightful treasure below. :) Ok... I am getting cheesy! I just LOVE MEN!!!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Anyone have a glass dildo? Posted: 3/22/2006 11:09:37 PM
I agree. My favorite dildo is a realistic feel... cyberskin. No vibrations at all. I have wand vibrators for my clit if I need one... The glass isn't all that realistic... but they are heavier and good for exercising with. :)

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

I want to get some things straight. Lots of questions. Posted: 3/22/2006 11:00:09 PM
The difference is all internal. As you said with the flower example... the motive is different. The nice guy cares about the woman he is interested in. And if he "scores" with his object of desire he is not going to just put another notch in his belt and disappear. Nice guys are there the next day. They care about the girls they sleep with. Players manipulate. They change their stripes to match their prey so she will not suspect. If she wants a nice guy he plays the nice guy... if she wants a bad boy he plays that well too. Players are rarely themselves with women. Even if they find one they want to stick with... they have difficulty breaking out of that playing mode. The cannot let down their mask. This inauthenticity can drive the woman of their dreams away... A nice guy is himself... always. Take him or leave him. Despite what men are led to believe, women prefer their men nice. Nice boys kiss just as well... f*ck just as well... and what you see is what you get. We don't have to wonder what is up if you bring us flowers... we don't have to wonder where you really are when you go out with the guys. My advice... be that nice guy. Don't be tempted to take a page from the bad boy book. Unless you want millions of notches... but not real love. Don't forget Karma... break too many hearts and yours will be doomed.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Anyone have a glass dildo? Posted: 3/22/2006 10:21:17 PM
I have one!!! Its pretty. It's fairly heavy... and feels fantastic. Its good PC practice as you can put it in... and then walk around the house trying to keep it in with muscles alone. I think you could even get away with using it for decoration... although phallic. But if I were to review all of my toys its not my favorite.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Is there any truth to what goes around comes around? Posted: 3/22/2006 7:17:39 PM
I do believe in Karma. What goes around comes around... what we sow we reap... its a universal law. Think about it though. If he does harm... at some point he will reap the consequences for it. He will be harmed in return. If you make sure you are the one that causes that harm... then you are just setting yourself up to be harmed again too. See the cycle? It sucks... but the best thing you can do is let the Universe work its magic with his life... you on the other hand should work on putting positive stuff out there... because the same law works for good stuff to... if you sow positive wonderful thoughts, attitudes, deeds... you will find the universe will begin to work in your favor. Your pain will dissolve... and life will take a turn for you in the direction you have always wanted it to. You will have happiness... love... wisdom... and you will perpetuate that same energy into those you come in contact with.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Is it just me...or do woman lack confidence? Posted: 3/22/2006 1:50:38 AM
Yes... I think the media has a lot to do with women's body issues... and the confidence that is drained away when they think they do not measure up. One way around that Garf... is to make her feel sexy. You need to be consistant with this. I had a man do that for me... I don't know if it was instinctive or just his dumb luck... but he craved my body in a way I have never been hungered for in my life. I was concerned about the little extra weight I carried... and ironically he worshiped the very areas of my body I was most concerned about. My a$$ in particular. Didn't take long before I was greeting him at the door naked in the middle of the day... and pouncing on him with delight begging to be ravished! We are insecure... because we have been made to feel undesirable. All you have to do is reprogram us... take the darn magazines out of our hands... and start to worship the body we have... just the way it is. Just a thought anyway...

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Dating and Depression Posted: 3/22/2006 1:28:04 AM
I agree with MDNinja if you are going to hold back on dating... do it because you are working on yourself. I am in a similar boat myself. I have held off on dating for over three years because I was diagnosed with BiPolar disorder. I did it initially because I thought no one would want me that way... then I did it because I wanted to get things totally under control before I put myself out there again. Now I am realizing what an asset people have been to keeping myself balanced. It is much harder to do it when you are lonely. But I understand the difficulty with anxiety over dating itself. Meeting new people is possibly harder for people like you and me because of our triggers. I think it helps to be honest with someone about those anxieties up front. Test the water. More than likely they will be patient with you. I always take a casual friends approach... it always eases my stress about the situation... and then by the time romance is introduced I am comfortable... and he knows what he is getting himself into.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 125 (view)

No bras and nipples Posted: 3/22/2006 12:57:40 AM
Wearing one right now Foxxy!

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 123 (view)

No bras and nipples Posted: 3/22/2006 12:50:08 AM
I haven't been able to go braless since the 6th grade. D cups... my mother made it very clear to me that it was "sinful" to do so. But nothing short of bandaids could keep my nipples from showing through my bras... especially when it is cold. I still get a kick out of catching random guys staring at my nipples when they think I'm not looking. I like to wear those tanks that come with a minimal bra built in... I suppose for me it would be like going without a bra if I had smaller chest. It supports only enough to keep things from getting painful... otherwise the girls move freely. I get a lot of attention if I wear one of these out in public. Normally I just wear them for PJ's... or when I am doing Yoga.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Godless Liberal + Christian Conservative = ? Posted: 3/21/2006 9:22:28 PM
This converting idea is a dangerous thing. I grew up in a very conservative Christian home... I know what that world is like. You might be able to open her mind a little... I try to do that with my Christian friends all the time... but more than likely if you are not a Believer she will try to share God with you... she may even go so far as to say yes if you ask her out... just so that she can save you. Christian girls do that... although I have no idea why. And forget about a sexual relationship with her, even if you are able to get into her pants she is going to feel sinful... and be ashamed if she does that outside of marriage... it could lead to lots of problems between you two. But be her friend... better yet... as a friend bring up religion and debate it with her. If she is really open-minded... and is surprisingly liberal despite being a Christian... then perhaps you two would have a shot at it.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Pls. Advise Me - Should I Move? Posted: 3/21/2006 4:42:31 PM
You're hilarious! But seriously, you'll find "sunburned, in-bred, right-wing mouth-breathers with the fashion sense of Yosemite Sam and the expressive abilities of a Motel 6 ceramic ashtray" everywhere you go! Even in the blue states. My advice... unless you want to move for other reasons as well... stay put. That is the beauty of the technology of today... you can find him anywhere. Seattle, NYC, Chicago... there may even be a few good ones left in Texas... although I doubt it. Find a guy you are crazy for elsewhere if he doesn't exist where you are... and if you are that willing to move... move to be near him... after you have found him.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

has the forums gotten you notice from the opposite sex? Posted: 3/21/2006 4:31:12 PM
Yes, actually I think it is probably the best way to meet people. If you are honest with the information you give... people get a chance to see what you are made of. I have gotten a lot of letters from guys and gals who liked (or hated) what I had to say... many of them were interested in getting to know me further. I have also found a few people on here that I am interested in now... because of what they wrote.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

How do you keep your emotions from mucking up your life? Posted: 3/21/2006 4:25:52 PM
I agree ^^^ with evermind. Understanding oneself is key. If you are an open person who wears his heart on his sleeve... don't try to change yourself... or hide... or be tough. There are women out there who will adore you for your ability to be open... and show your emotions. Many women in fact. But in order to keep it from controlling you... you may have to do a little work on figuring out how you tick... what you need... how to protect yourself and still stay open.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Oh my god she call me the F word (Friends). Posted: 3/21/2006 4:17:55 PM
Ah yes... but I am not a lone exception. There are many like me... I know a few. So I felt I needed to represent my kind here for the sake of the argument.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Oh my god she call me the F word (Friends). Posted: 3/21/2006 4:14:49 PM
"Friends"... means different things to different women. The first two men I slept with were friends of mine that took a romantic turn. I like that. They started out as friends... but over time became so much more to me... and the next thing I knew we were rolling around in bed saying I love you. The only other man I had a relationship with was one of those whirlwind things... 12 days after meeting we were engaged. We became excellent friends though and are to this day (despite not making it down the aisle). Some girls really like the friendship element. I know I do. I guess if I were in your situation... I wouldn't throw the towel in just yet. If you are really interested in her... tell her that you are glad you are friends... that you love how comfortable you are with each other... but then be honest... tell her that you want to always maintain that friendship connection... but that you want so much more from her than that. If she is like me... she will give it to you... or at least discuss your relationship leading there. If she is really just a friend... then she will let you know... and then you will know for sure. Couldn't hurt to ask, right? Being friends doesn't have to be the kiss of death guys. For me... it is the first step towards the kiss.

susieduck

Joined: 1/5/2006

Msg: 124 (view)

does the perfect woman exist? Posted: 3/19/2006 11:46:34 PM
So many people have said it correctly over the past few months on this thread. It is not about "perfection"... and to look for it is setting yourself up to never find it. We are all humans... incapable of perfection. What you are looking for... and what we all should be looking for is a good match for us. I have two beautiful sisters... and all three of us pick drastically different men... and we don't often understand each other's choices. We wouldn't pick them. It is because we all have different tastes... different interests... different needs. You need a woman who is very companion-like... a best friend... a lover... a loyal homebody type. Other guys might think their perfect woman was very girly... high maintanence... someone to adorn is arm... but not be too involved in his interests. He would rather go to the game with his buddies... than with the barbie doll he married. Can we say trophy wife? Some guys want a mom or maid type. One who serves him... services him... and then stays out of his way. Out of his hair... To them, that would be the perfect woman. I have friends that think a perfect man is someone who makes tons of money... doesn't expect her to work... and spends a lot of time at work... so that she can play play play. My older sister likes the brooding artist types... with lots of tattoo's and piercings. My baby sister is into cowboys... real ones... the ones that ride horses. I'm like you. I like buddies. Guys that I can comfortably hang with... spend most of my freetime with doing things that interest both of us. I am way more into finding someone who "connects" with me... then someone who looks a certain way or has a certain amount of money. You'll find her... or she will find you. Make a list. Not a perfectionistic one. Just a list of things you would like in a girl. Attributes that most attract you. Be detailed... even down to her personality. Stick it somewhere in your house... and look at it from time to time. Believe me... she will enter your life... pretty soon after you do this. You just have to recognize her when she does. The list will help. Trust me. :)

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