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OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

HE HOOKED ME!!!! Posted: 1/9/2007 4:38:16 PM
Great story and great way to figure out the identity of your blind date. Best of luck to both of you!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Great Expectations and Matchmaking Posted: 12/15/2006 4:48:58 PM
I joined several years ago (am no longer active) as a means to meet women with similar interests and ideals, and did in fact meet some very nice women. I'm surprised that the gal you spoke with got frustrated and hung up as they were always very pleasant in my case. As with anyone in customer service the range of assistance will vary based on the individual but many will bend over backwards to try to arrange potential partners (at least that's what I experienced). Because they tend to be pricey (although with the proliferation of Internet sites these days I'm sure their prices have come down), it's likely they won't discuss prices without you being able to see first-hand what they offer, because many would be fixated on the price based on a preconceived notion of what they might be getting for their money. The one in the Seattle area arranges various singles outings... wine tastings, cruise brunches on the Puget Sound, shows, etc. As with anything, you need to make an informed decision as to whether the potential is worth it to you. Best of luck.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Is Lack Of Religion A Good Reason To Turn Me Down? Posted: 11/17/2006 12:25:28 PM
It's not an "is she wrong or am I wrong" issue... it's what's important to her and she is being upfront and honest about that. I say have an open and honest discussion on the entire issue, and if you can't come to an aggreeable middle ground and it's a deal breaker for her, then it is what it is. Best of luck.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Men...could someone please explain! Posted: 10/3/2006 9:06:54 PM
Under those circumstances I can certainly see why it all wouldn't make sense. It's too bad you had to go through all of that. And not that it makes it any easier, but in my opinion it is his loss and your gain... I'm sure you deserve better.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Men...could someone please explain! Posted: 10/3/2006 8:36:14 PM
If you've really gotten to know each other and definitely hit it off then I'm with you, there is no reason to still be here unless it is solely because of forums and friendships made here, and you update your profile accordingly. But if you are still in the 'getting to know each other' phase and the relationship has not yet progressed to the next phase, such as physical or emotional intimacy, then continuing to be available to meet others would not necessarily be out of line (this would apply to both parties). I know if I met someone and we met a couple of times and seemed to really enjoy each other's company, but they immediately decided to come off the site and expected me to do the same, I might become a little leery. On one hand it might be flattering, but on the other hand I'm sure many of us have had someone that was way too interested considering how well as they knew us... and that is definitely not a comfortable feeling. Only you know the specifics of your situation, so my advice would be to ask him about it. One thing is for sure in my mind (for me anyway)... if a guy is really into you, he is REALLY INTO YOU, and it will be obvious. And either his profile will be updated to say he is no longer available, or he will decide he no longer needs to be on the site. Best of luck!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Have not even met and have 15 text messages from him. Huh? Posted: 9/5/2006 11:43:57 AM
I'm with everyone else. Another way you might word your response is, "I thought I was ready to correspond and possibly meet, but truthfully this has become a bit overwhelming and I'm not ready to take either step at this time... sorry"

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Has anyone started a relationship in a thread?? Posted: 8/15/2006 12:05:10 PM
I haven't started a relationship via thread but I did come to greatly admire someone based on a few of their posts. But alas, I was unable to pass on a compliment due to not meeting their restrictions.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 592 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 7/19/2006 5:56:45 AM
If I'm sending a message I've read the entire profile.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Men that had 30+ women add them to their favourites.. Posted: 7/18/2006 8:01:45 AM
If I come across a profile I admire but I don't meet their distance, or country, or age criteria, etc. I will add them to my Favorites as a way of paying them a compliment, esspecially since I cannot message them to say so personally. And I've had women do the same and add me to their Favorites even though I don't meet their criteria, so I take it as a compliment as well. And I never delete someone that has added me to their Favorites... I figure if they are kind enough to pay me such a compliment then deleting them would be like saying I don't think they are good enough or worthy... not the way I feel or the kind of message I want to send.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Much Older People Seeking Younger People. Posted: 7/13/2006 11:54:24 AM
Sparklyeyes, I would recommend identifying somewhere in your profile something like, "As far as dating goes I prefer men in the age range of _____, but am open to all ages for friendship". That way you've kept specific boundaries open to all ages for friendship (or in case you discover Mr. Right happens to be one year older than you thought was your upper limit... makes it YOUR choice) but lets people know your preferences. Thus if they don't respect your preference by still hitting on you then you can either say, "Thanks but as my profile says, I am only interested in friendship", or you can not respond at all since they didn't have the courtesy of respecting your preferences. Just a thought... and best of luck!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Time to go Posted: 4/18/2006 5:56:49 AM
Congratulations! Best of luck.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Advice needed please re: can this be saved? Posted: 4/14/2006 8:37:58 AM
Well, I hate to say it but it sounds like the relationship has run its course. If someone is totally into you they find a way to make time for you, and the fact that they are into you is obvious by their actions, just as you saw earlier in your relationship. We all tend to romanticize either the 'person they were' or 'the person we wished they could be' but I'd say you deserve better than you are getting. Reading your profile it's pretty obvious you have a great deal to offer the right guy, and you deserve to receive all that you put into a relationship. Is it a lost cause? ...hard to say for sure, but it sounds like you two need to talk out all of the issues and hopefully things will work out... either he will realize what he is about to lose and will get his act together, or you will realize he wasn't 'the one'. Take care and best of luck!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Romantic Gestures Posted: 4/13/2006 10:38:08 AM
toscottm, I've got many more but I'm not giving away my secrets. However, not a bad list... your ideas are pretty original and I think that is the key. So I say keep it up and best of luck.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

What should I think? Or should I just not think? Posted: 4/13/2006 10:20:54 AM
I haven't seen the movie but I did serve in the military back in my youth and from my perspective the whole 'sex with other guys when on long deployments' was just a big joke making light of the fact that you were stuck somewhere with nothing but a bunch of smelly men. And I suppose there could be instances where it actually does happen, but I never even heard of rumors to that effect, let alone known anyone that actually took that course. As far as your husband's increased interest for rear entry, maybe you should just ask him about it? Since it is something you obviously enjoy, perhaps it is just a step toward an even better sex life with your hubby... certainly can't complain about that, right?

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

How many times should you e-mail someone? Posted: 4/13/2006 7:29:46 AM
Personally, if I e-mail once and get no response I figure they are not interested... no harm, no foul, no bruised ego... we all have our preferences and I have to respect theirs if I don't happen to catch their attention.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

ADVICE Needed? The one who won't STOP. What to do?? Posted: 4/12/2006 3:34:21 PM
I don't blame you for being a bit spooked. After reading your second e-mail to him I'd say you were crystal clear, there were no gray areas and no reading between the lines that anyone with half-a-clue could utilize as justification to continue to bother you. I certainly would NOT make any return calls because I'm sure he would get the wrong idea. As has been said, I would keep track of any calls or e-mails. I've had a some continual callers in the past but nothing like this. Check with your phone company as I think you can have his calls flagged as a potential stalker... it is *57 or something like that... I think it is akin to '3 strikes you're out'. Anyway, sorry I couldn't help more. Be safe and best of luck!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

how far would u go, have u? Posted: 4/12/2006 8:49:58 AM
Some places don't even require a second thought. For example, I grew up in California and get back down there often (twice in the past month), so a couple of hours on a plane from Seattle is nothing. And beyond that, if there is truly an amazing connection, I don't see traveling across the country as an issue either. I think there is a certain romantic intrigue about "the woman I'd fly across the country to see" or "the man that flies across the country to see me".

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Pick-up lines?? What are they? Posted: 3/24/2006 3:24:40 PM
Libra33: Not that I'm an expert but I see a number of issues here. For starters, what you say is really on your mind (What type of girl is this? Will she cheat on me? Is what she saying honest? How pure is she? and is she just here to stoke her own ego?) all have negative connotations. That negative vibe is going to come across to most people no matter what you say. In fact, I'd go a bit farther in that if you really have all of those concerns when you are meeting someone perhaps you aren't quite ready to put yourself out there. I certainly wouldn't want to meet someone who is wondering if everything I say and do is nothing but an act, smokescreen, or facade. You should be focusing on what are the potential great and interesting things about her. And as far as what to say, think seriously what it is about them that captured your initial interest... is it their smile? their laugh? their sense of humor? their wit? their intelligence? how they interact with their friends? how they are with their kids? That's the true test as to whether you are sincerely interested in the person and not just something superficial... and in my opinion, that's where the conversation should start. At that point, even if she's not interested, at least the odds are that your comments will come across as the compliment they were intended to be... and how bad is that?

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Who's supposed to pay????? Posted: 3/7/2006 6:58:31 AM
Because it is the new millenium women are supposed to pay half the date??? Who is this guy, Nostradomus? Some women prefer to keep things on an even playing field and want to pay their half; however, if HE asked YOU out then he should be prepared to, and offer to, pay. If you asked him out then I think you should be prepared to pay. Personally I always offer to pay even if my date asked me out, but asking someone out to dinner or a show or whatever is nice gesture toward the other person, so many women I know enjoy being the one to treat when they are the one asking.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Men with hair on their chest, or NO? Posted: 3/6/2006 10:10:35 AM
Hmm... I can't say what's up with the other guys, even as someone who is a regular at the gym, I guess I just don't pay attention. At least it's nice to know I made the grade based on your description.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

A Question About BREASTS..and IMPLANTS Posted: 3/6/2006 7:22:27 AM
I can't imagine that if someone truly loves you that it would make a difference. The same goes for a relationship that is growing... if he has a problem with it then he is not "the one". I've had three friends that have dealt with breast cancer and thankfully all three are survivors... one for over ten years now and she had reconstruction as well. It made a world of difference in her everyday life, but like you she was still very self conscious when it came to revealing such a thing in an intimate setting, which is very understandable... I'm sure all of us guys would be similarly uncomfortable revealing ouselves following surgery for testicular cancer for example. As far as when to reveal such a thing, I think your best bet is before you find yourself in an intimate situation... and I say that for two reasons... One, if he has an issue with it then you know beforehand that he is not one to take your relationship to the next level, after all, romance and passion are hugely important in a relationship; and Two, even if he has no problem with it at all, if you are in the midst of a passionate moment when you reveal it, his mood could be replaced with empathy for all you've been through, questions like "is it OK to touch her or should I steer clear?", etc. Let all of those questions and answers occur ahead of time so when the time is right for passion you can focus on the moment. Congratulations on being a survivor. Wishing you all the best!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome Posted: 3/3/2006 3:11:26 PM
He is recently separated, has a vindictive ex-wife, and so is her boyfriend??? Plus he continues to lie to you and feels the need to keep other women in the wings or 'who knows what?'? Not to mention these oddball e-mail you're receiving.... Yipes!!! The bottom line is, you deserve better. Best of luck!

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Can anyone tell me why I shoud keep trying?? Posted: 3/3/2006 7:05:59 AM
Anenigma, you should keep trying because someday it may happen, and when you look back on the struggles it took you to get there, won't that make it that much sweeter? I know it sounds rather simplistic and idealistic, but those of us who are sincere in their search have been through many of the same types of issues... maybe not to the degree of the most recent idiot in your example but there have certainly been frustrations. It's very obvious based on all you've been through in life, that you are not one to easily give up. In fact, if I'd had to go through all you've been through, I'm not sure how well I'd do. My nom de plume, "One Man's Quest" is the title of a song about the quest and keeping the dream alive, even when it seems love is only in your dreams. That's how I try to look at life and love, and something tells me you may not be that different. Oh, and one upside to the issues you went through with that jerk... isn't it great you found out his true self now instead of when he showed up at your friend's wedding?

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Another fish (on another site) stole my words Posted: 2/28/2006 12:53:15 PM
Well, they say it is the sincerest form of flattery, and having just read your profile I must agree that they are great words. However, I'd be rather peeved if the same happened to me, although I'm sure mine aren't prime for theft, although I did put in a fair amount of heart and soul into them as well. A couple of upsides... all of us reading this forum now know better; and more importantly, they can steal your words but not the essence of them, and that will likely become apparent as they try to live up to them.

OneMansQuest

Joined: 1/6/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

How much of an age difference is too much? Posted: 2/21/2006 9:45:35 AM
Men's Health magazine listed the following as a guide: For men the minimum age you should consider is your age/2 + 3 years; for women, your age/2 + 7 years. For me the bottom line is, if you share similar interests, have common goals (if you are looking long term), are attracted to each other, and have a great time together, then what else matters?

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