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 Author Thread: Insensitive or just trying to help?
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Insensitive or just trying to help?
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:21:25 PM
He sounds like a control freak and he is slowly conditioning you to weaken to his will.

Now it's your hair or teeth, soon it will be what you are allowed to wear, where you're allowed to go and who you are allowed to see, until you're locked in his proverbial trunk.

Get out now.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Does long distance relationship work?
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:23:27 PM
Zestyguy, if you are in an LDR and it sucks, why don't you get out of it? Obviously it's not for you.
You're not even stating it in your profile.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Torn need advice
Posted: 2/16/2013 3:46:35 PM
I think the problem is that a lot of people here believe they are thinking about what is best for the son based off their own personal emotions. Having your kid taken far away from you is sad, it will suck not having them around, yeah, but it's not the end of the world.

Kids are not as fragile as people think they are. So long as your son knows you love him and you can visit, I don't see the problem. It's the initial shock that needs to wear off and you need to let your ex chill for a bit and talk to a lawyer. Mind you then they will need a lawyer and your ex might get peeved off at the prospect of paying bills for a lawyer, but if she is ignoring your calls, she is getting what's coming unless she wises up.

She can either answer your calls and arrange a less expensive agreement instead of having the lawyers bill you both for every phone call, email and letter they make.

EDIT: If your exes new husband is a stand-up man as you say, maybe you should go to him to talk about things, maybe he is more stable and rational.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Does long distance relationship work?
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:46:16 PM
I think it depends on the people involved.

Is it a relationship you want, or is it THEM you want, and you have the patience to wait for however long... or if you are more independent and don't mind living apart and have Skype to depend on most of the time.

As for end dates, in this economy it is not always possible. In fact depending on distance it can be impossible for visits, as well. I am in an LDR of a year and a half now, He's in England while I am on the west coast of Canada, I have known him for 8 years prior, we trust each other and don't see ourselves looking elsewhere as we made our choice and are in it for the long haul.

The amount of trust you have helps. For me, I trust him more than anyone else, certainly more than any ex I had... and they were all local.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
mentor issues.
Posted: 2/6/2013 12:35:19 AM
"This is not your hunting grounds, its a dating site for genuine people seeking a mate."

You think so, relaxingwithyou? There are as many freaks and wolves on here as anywhere else. Most users here are looking for a lay, not anything long term. At least poly communities are more honest about what they are looking for.

I don't think it's fair to kick someone or vote to delete this thread just because it's something that people think is silly or uncomfortable with.

Also look up the difference between polyamory and swingers. Calling one the other is disrespectful, as those two groups tend to have a lot of conflict and do not associate nor want to be associated with one another.

That said, if the OP has not heard of collarme.com, I think they might benefit more from posting such a question there.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
mentor issues.
Posted: 2/6/2013 12:11:49 AM
He found somebody who can stay locked in his trunk for longer than you.

Be honest with yourself. Polyamory is a fickle relationship style. Are you really that surprised? He has a primary. You're not it.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Would you take in in your ex in a time of need?
Posted: 2/2/2013 4:18:28 PM
I don't think so. I don't have kids, though, so that obligatory lesson is not really an issue here.

Also, depending on which ex and whether or not I trusted them to share a studio basement suite with me... well, still that's a no. I would not even consider it for the most recent ex. Even there was like, a natural disaster and he came to my doorstep looking tattered, I still would not.

I have my boyfriend to think about anyway. I would ask him first if he was ok with it since we're long distance and maintaining trust is very important to us.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
How long in a relationship before you lay everything on the table?
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:57:02 PM
Gah.

The only time I have ever shared such vital information is in my current relationship. It is long distance, with someone who is my best friend and since we are both afraid of being hurt again after our previous relationships, I thought the best way to maintain the trust we have was to give him my passwords to my emails and other online accounts. I did this without expectations or demands that he return the favour, because that's just demented and manipulative.

He has never used them. I would know if he did, as I would get some sort of alert for it.

I have given him "the whole nine yards" out of my own volition, and am all the happier for it. But that's just me...

I would not think your situation is healthy at all. It was not your idea to give that information, she obviously OBVIOUSLY!!! does NOT trust you, and without trust, there is no relationship.

If she can't trust you, can you really trust her? She clearly doesn't trust herself (trust is something that is often projected). Why should you??
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 46 (view)
 
I m still confused with my ex's decision
Posted: 12/8/2012 11:37:26 AM
Dangit, Steve. I just noticed the original date to this post. *facepalm*
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
I m still confused with my ex's decision
Posted: 12/8/2012 11:25:16 AM
He was trying to make his life better by bringing someone else into it. A lot like how some people have babies to fix a relationship. It just doesn't happen that way and everyone will be dragged down.

NO MAN should make you feel this way.

You are such a caring person with a big heart and you are clearly a very devoted wife. Don't let that one man take that away from you. One day you will find someone who will treat you as well as you treat them. Just be picky and take your time to heal from this so you have a clearer heart and mind when you dive back into the dating pool.

I know there are a lot of Canadian men here who would love to have somebody like you. Don't overlook the Caucasians if you find an attraction ;)

Love and strength to you :)
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 36 (view)
 
She wants to wear a tux and be a groomsman at the wedding!!!
Posted: 12/2/2012 9:37:41 PM
Sounds like it's the groom who wants her to stand by HIS side which would mean she would wear the tux, anyway. Let it go and mind your own business.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Its the holiday season and it seems like girlfriend is leaving me out of them what to do?
Posted: 11/25/2012 9:18:57 PM
Haha, busteeeddd...
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 66 (view)
 
how do i tell him to leave me alone?
Posted: 11/23/2012 5:12:47 PM
I feel ya, but not because I went out on dates with anyone but because I seem to attract the occasional weirdo.

One particular one was somebody who I could really not avoid at one point since they were a panhandler sitting right outside a particular establishment I would either walk past or shop at. Me being the type of person who is kind to most people, especially in this neighbourhood, would talk with this person and help them out whenever I could.

About a year and a half ago after being accustomed to just stopping to talk to them in a friendly manner, one day after he asked the usual "what is new with you", I beamed and said I was in a relationship now.

His demeanor got weird immediately and after that, looked away from me and spitted out "well I wish the best for you, blah blah blah" and because of the fact that it is long distance he never saw me with him by my side, he had to ask me where he was etc and of course I was honest about it.

Well of course he scoffed at it and disrespected my relationship by chuckling and calling it an "internet relationship".

Then, if I hadn't been "around" for even a few days he would accusingly ask "where have you been?" with a very angry look I did not like but I would just respond apathetically that, well... I'd been busy and I don't always walk by there and take transit instead.

As though I owed him some sort of explanation in the first place.

It got tot he point where he would follow me into a store and demand to know where I had been and even had the audacity, after I was inching my way out of the conversation with him to go home where I had a friend waiting for me, he assumed it was my boyfriend and said "tell your "friend" he has competition" and went on to tell me he really liked me and alla this crap that was clearly just that. Crap.

I told him to NOT try to "pursue" me in any way because that is when I get mean. Well he was just like "Oh, I am not pursuing, I am just gonna wait right here for you" and when I just started to leave I heard him say "I love you!" and when I turned around he pretended to be talking to the sky or some dumb shit.

I decided to just ignore his ass after that, as I did not want anything to do with him. Every time I would pass by, even 9 months later, he would be like "Why you mad at me??? HEY!!" or "I still don't know why you're mad at me!"

What the hell. I did not want to talk to him and explain anything to him at all since I already warned him, but he didn't get it.

Plus I did not want to just end up talking to him and telling him what exactly he did wrong since it meant I would have to bother talking to him in the first place, and since he is some street rat who admitted to being a drug addict in the past and in jail a few times, I am not sure what he is capable of, so I did the whole ignore tactic, which sometimes I wonder if I shoulda said something or not... but was just too afraid of him following me home or something.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 11/19/2012 1:09:57 PM
All the time.
I don't like fantasizing about anybody else but him. It would make me sick.

My exes, though, I never really did fantasize about. It was too depressing... probably because, looking back, the relationships were not very healthy.

My man is a scorpio, too, and he really knows how to get me going.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Can I get some advice on a situation I am having with my girlfiend?
Posted: 11/12/2012 2:51:23 PM
Yes you did the right thing.

She's clearly troubled enough to be dabbling like that, and with a criminal? Wow. Let her have at it.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Not wanting to have kids??
Posted: 11/10/2012 12:33:55 PM
and the "you're either cut for it or not" is complete nonsense. Kids are not a whole lot of hassle. Its tough to screw it up.


LOL. What a crock.

Easy enough for a guy to say. A huge portion of the time, about 90% of the responsibility is given to the mother, what with the dealing with pregnancy and breastfeeding parts... the dad gets to come home from work and be the big goofy buddy to the kids... and stay at home dads are rare and not given near enough reverence.

I am certainly not cut out for it. I know I would be a bad parent. I don't want the responsibility that goes with it, I like my sleep and my lifestyle. Kids would just get in the way, like they do even with parents that are happy to have them. Mothers often don't want sex as much as their hormones are now for coddling the baby and their desire is gone... and can cause a lot of resentment on the man's part, even if he isn't going to say or acknowledge it. And heaven forbid a woman claim she ever even occasionally wishes she didn't have a kid for even a moment, making her a horrible mother.

Pfft. Let's be real. Sure, they can be cute, I love my niece to pieces but I am so glad I don't have my own.
I'd rather give all my affections to my man and my low-maintenance pet. With a kid, you can't just put them down and do your own thing. It can take two seconds for them to crawl from one end of the room to the other and fall down some stairs or bump their heads if you don't child proof your home, and the amount of sleep my brother and sister in law were getting was next to none.

Forget it.

EDIT:


so there's no shame in keeping a strong aversion to spawning successfully as a secret, forever- --- not something to tell the urchins during grad.


So you're saying that having kids just to pacify the partner is OK even if you never wanted them, but just keep your damn mouth shut.

No. Just no.

You must be one hell of a lazy, apathetic parent.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is it possible to turn moodiness and irritability into a positive?
Posted: 10/12/2012 3:15:36 PM
Yoga should help with your mood.

Or do you feel as though that is some "quack" method as well? If anything, you'll at least get to see some tight buns during class. Not that I advocate being the only reason to go, or any reason to go...
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/4/2012 6:13:46 PM
CaptainA.D, I think I found your problem... in your profile it says you are into breading turtles.

They're better sprinkled with Cajun seasoning and sauteed briefly before adding them to your Jambalaya.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should I confess to cheating in the first 2 weeks of relationship?
Posted: 10/2/2012 8:25:34 PM
Egads.

Yeah you should tell him. And next time remember that what you put into a relationship in the beginning especially is what will make it grow, or wilt.

Why would you sleep with your room mate? Why don't you just have your room mate as a f*ckbuddy or boyfriend instead if you want him that bad.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Just made plans to meet and user deleted her account ??
Posted: 9/30/2012 1:14:10 AM
Maybe it's some sign of respect for the date, or something.

A little different from the usual way people seem to go about things on this forum from what I read, but nothing to be concerned about.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
withdrawal into the man cave or over?
Posted: 9/1/2012 5:24:26 PM
Man, I wish MY boyfriend lived only an hour away.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Ever Gone to a POF Event Even Though You Might Encounter...
Posted: 8/30/2012 6:17:50 PM
Wow, looks like those who rejected you dodged a bullet.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Attracting the wrong women
Posted: 8/28/2012 7:23:25 PM
Might as well start with "I am the second most richest man in the world". As a pick up line.

Didn't work out for that bloke, just sayin'.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How would you respond? Am I finally POF paranoid?
Posted: 8/26/2012 3:14:08 PM
Not sure how I would react to that.

Most of me thinks I would just****my eyebrow and delete/ignore. Depending on my mood, though, I could have any number of responses, also depending on the rest of their profile if I feel like looking.

That is irksome, though, regardless if they have a picture in their profile or not. As unfair as it might sound I would probably use their pictures as inspiration for how I feel and then respond accordingly.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What is a demanding woman?
Posted: 8/24/2012 2:21:30 PM
OP, your profile says you are not into drama but it seems you very much are.

Usually those who claim they don't like drama have personalities that make people overreact, what with the "over" bluntness and being a self-proclaimed smartass.

Just sayin'.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Are relationships with some distance involved worth pursuing?
Posted: 8/23/2012 9:55:57 PM
I am pursuing it, and it is much longer than 2 hours away.

You are lucky. 2 hours is a cake walk.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Why are all my female friends taken?
Posted: 8/13/2012 10:05:38 PM
interista, your "are you gay" comment is condescending at best.

Why would a gay man be concerned enough about the relationship status about his female friends if he isn't interested in them romantically, to post about it?

If another man's sexuality is so questionable for you, maybe you need to do some of your own self-evaluation.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
how to handle arguments
Posted: 8/11/2012 5:07:13 PM
When people find themselves in a heated situation that is getting out of control, leaving the area and taking the time to cool down and get your thoughts together is just about the best thing to do. This is about control, SELF control. It's also called maturity.


It shouldn't have gone "out of control" anyway, it sounds like they need to step up on communication first.

The way food is cut alters the flavours and outcome immensely. Chunky onions in potatoes au gratin? Those need to be as thin as or thinner than the potatoes, which need to be pretty thin in order to cook properly. Assuming somebody else knows this is always a mistake. If you have a method of doing things and have somebody following your recipe, they need to know exactly how to do it. You can't draw a picasso without paying attention to how it's created.

Anyway the subject is neither here nor there. Telling somebody they are doing it wrong is confrontational. To keep the peace just keep to the point and keep it short, maybe 3 points

1) Here is the problem
2) This is how it is affecting us/me/the situation (this makes me feel... etc)
3) How can we resolve this?

Keep to how things make you feel, not "you did this" "you made me feel"

Keep the YOU out of it.

For me, I would have said "hey, I need you to cut them like this, because *insert reasoning here*".

Then I'd grab him another beer.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 61 (view)
 
how to handle arguments
Posted: 8/11/2012 3:37:28 PM
Also, walking out on arguments... irks me to no end.

I asked my current boyfriend very early on how he would handle an argument if it got out of hand. He told me he would leave the room for a while. I told him this doesn't work well and only makes chicks want to chase you, and it also is a control issue like somebody previously said. I prefer to talk things out rationally, and that is what we manage to do most of the time, and if not, we resolve it later anyway.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
how to handle arguments
Posted: 8/11/2012 3:34:53 PM
Outmind wrote:


I cook, so I can understand having vegetables being cut in a particular way, depending on what you are going to do with them. Put them in a salad, salté them, stew them. With that said, I have two approaches. When I am the chef. I am the king of the kitchen. When someone is chef, I even tell them. Look you're the boss, this is your dish, how do you like this cut, what do you want me to do with this. Then I follow the style that they want for the dish. If I am the one giving instructions, first I ask them if the can handle a chef's knife. If they don't, I thank them and tell them that I do not need their help and I do not use food processors. If they know how to handle a chef's knife, then I give them very specific instructions that start with a demonstration. If they are doing it wrong and it's totally wrong. I tell them in a nice way. I even apologize. "You're doing great, but for this dish I want the garlic very fine so after we salté it disappears into the dish." If I am doing the helping and they tell me that I am doing it totally wrong. I tell them. "You're the chef. I have my ways to doing this, but this is your dish. Show me how exactly do you like it." The kitchen is really not a place for a democracy, but rather a dictatorship. The chef and his/her vision are king.


Agreed.

I think both people handled it wrong. Anybody who doesn't feel the need to take care of how they prepare food is possibly going to lack passion in other areas, and is a slack **stard.

My brother's wife cuts vegetables and trimmings for hamburgers way thicker than I like, but when I am at their house and they are the one hosting the BBQ, I do the grilling myself since even my brother admits he burns food and I am vigilant and never leave the grill. Even with my mom helping there seems to be chaos what with my 17 month old niece in the house now. It's the least I can do.

I would prefer it if the onions and tomatoes weren't cut so thick and that the buns weren't so big (I prefer the meat to be equal in circumference to the buns as well otherwise it's just too much bread) and it doesn't help that they buy these big buns while also, at least as of late, providing either bison burgers or chicken breast, and bison burgers are no bigger than a hockey puck.

I nicely pointed this out before and that is how they prefer it. Larger buns. So either I can bring my own buns and cut my own veggies or shut the hell up.

I am a bit of a Nazi in the kitchen, but I always make sure to demonstrate first how to do what I am asking them to do. If they still don't do it right, I take the job over myself and ask them to do something else like help me clean up as I go and provide me with the utensils I need at whatever given moment. And to keep me company :)
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Boyfriend is 27 Years Old His Grandma Grounds him
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:00:28 PM
Because she can see you for who you are and doesn't think you are appropriate to have in her house and this keeps him from getting close to you and makes it frustrating for him as an adult to have this choice taken away so he has to choose to move out or grow up.

Calling an old lady a Bitch. Seriously? I wouldn't want you in my house, either.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Does this person seem mentally unstable to you? What, if anything, is wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:51:45 PM
Ah, sounds like passive aggressive disorder coupled with something else, as these things usually are.

Run. Run fast and don't look back, lest you choose the path of living in Hell with this guy.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Long distance
Posted: 5/12/2012 12:50:58 PM
Not really sure what your point is, but your bitterness is showing :)

 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Long distance
Posted: 5/12/2012 12:40:23 PM
Ha Ha that means you know all of the 8 people this ever worked for. lol

good night


That's 8 more than you. Ha Ha.

By the way. I'm in one. It's the best relationship I have ever had. So that would be 9.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Long distance
Posted: 5/11/2012 8:43:18 PM
To everybody who says long distance relationships don't work:

I know of at least 8 people who met online with such distances as from the USA to Australia, USA to the UK and even shorter distances within/between Canada and the United states.

They all got married, and are still happily married years later.

It depends on the people.

Apparently gaming sites bring more people together long distance-wise than dating sites do.

Sweeping generalizations are bad, and most people have at least one ex, so it's safe to say that MOST RELATIONSHIPS do not work.

Thank you and good night.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 4/22/2012 3:16:00 PM
I've never been on the fence. I've always known even as a wee kid myself that parenthood is not for me and I don't envy those with kidlets either.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/17/2012 2:38:49 PM
Man, am I ever glad I am not a dude.

No woman can "oops" me and ruin my life.

This womb is closed.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
the cat, the bathroom and the final frontier of intimacy
Posted: 3/17/2012 1:04:00 PM
My last ex was a weird guy and would come into the bathroom sometimes when "squeazing out a massive" (lol thanks for the laugh with that phrase, I giggled uncontrollably).

When confronted about it he was all like "I just feel we should be able to share in moments like this".

What.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 32 (view)
 
26 never had a serious relationship
Posted: 3/17/2012 10:12:03 AM

Patients is a trait i lack lol


It's a good thing you're not a doctor.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
HAS ANYONE MET A WOMAN WHO'S BREATH SMELLED
Posted: 3/17/2012 10:10:09 AM
I like how this is asked as though it is some sort of anomaly.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Divorced vs Single?
Posted: 3/14/2012 8:49:45 AM
Divorced has a scarlet letter stigma to it.

If you're not in a relationship, you're single. I don't think of people as divorced or post-break up. A previous failed marriage or relationship shouldn't define somebody.

I use single because stating I am divorced means I am still thinking about them and I assume the same with them.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Do men have concerns dating a formerly heavy person?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:59:15 AM
Never said anything about vegetarians. There are fattening vegetarian meals and fat vegetarians.

Finicky eaters come off as timid or boring even if they might not be.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Is it possible to be in a relationship and not be sexually active?
Posted: 3/14/2012 6:38:33 AM

There might be a very satisfactory treatment for this in the very near future


That already exists. It's called a tongue.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Something wrong with me?
Posted: 3/14/2012 2:33:51 AM
If you're admitting you were trolling and not serious, HIGH 5.

If you actually are the type of woman I described, I can only hope you're a freak in the sack as any self respecting guy won't date a chick who thinks of him as a fixer-upper and chases him around like a sheepdog.

Also, I only thought obnoxious, attention-starved preteens didn't make line breaks.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Have kids, but not looking for a father for them...
Posted: 3/14/2012 2:18:47 AM
Probably just don't want to put extra pressure on a guy and don't want to confuse the kids or let them get attached to a man if it doesn't work out. It can come off as ****y when said that way, though.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do guys consider this a challenge?
Posted: 3/14/2012 2:08:21 AM
Sex can be pretty heavy and intimidating for some people especially if they've been burned in the past. It's a total act of vulnerability and trust and too many people don't seem to respect that, nor feel that way. Having sex with someone who holds different values to it is kind of depressing. It seems like it's more about cracking one off than the emotional intimacy.

Maybe you're rushing into the girlfriend label too soon. Just tell them that you take that title very seriously since there are obvious expectations that come with it. If you are truly not easy, you're also not easy to attain girlfriend status.

If it is a self respect thing only and not an anxiety thing, I'd be worried they have control issues and would withold sex as punishment. I equate sex as love and even if I am mad at someone, unless they did something horrible like cheat on me, in which case I'd not even be able to touch them let alone look at them ever again, I won't be denying them that very important bonding ritual. Hell, I'll get it on even in the middle of a fight if they play their cards right and remind me of how cute they are and make me realize this fighting is stupid.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Something wrong with me?
Posted: 3/14/2012 1:20:01 AM

This is not profile review time, but when you get there, I'm certain someone will tell you to shave your face completely, and cut your hair. Then get new photos.


Hopefully that is just the kind of judgmental control freak he will avoid. What's next, rooting through his wardrobe and belongings telling him what he has to throw out? Chicks like that make the rest of us look bad.

There are slobs out there with a lot less going on for them than this guy who for some reason have a girlfriend. Perhaps it's not his time, yet.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what was she thinking?
Posted: 3/14/2012 1:12:51 AM
She wasn't.
She sounds like an idiot. Don't waste your energy thinking about somebody who doesn't think, themselves.

Nobody is going to tell you they know what she was thinking and nobody has a crystal ball to tell you your future with her.

Don't try to figure other people out. It will just drive you nuts. People got to stop psycho-analyzing each other, it's dangerous.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Spells
Posted: 3/14/2012 1:07:46 AM
I'll never understand why people post asking for advice or answers for somebody else's problem, especially if they didn't ask you to.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What are your reasons?
Posted: 3/14/2012 1:03:27 AM
They probably made their mind up before checking the profile, and maybe they were just curious to see what you're about anyway just for shit's n giggles and to reaffirm their decision.

I know whenever I get a message from somebody I will usually click on their profile to see what kind of shmoe didn't read my profile first which clearly states I am here for the forums and have a boyfriend. In giant letters. More than once.

To me that clearly states they don't pay attention, are desperate and are too self-absorbed and are just window shopping, not interested in me so much as a soft wet sheath for their sword.
 
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