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greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Quitting smoking Posted: 8/29/2009 8:49:28 AM
I'm a little over a month into quitting using the Chantix. It's free through my health insurance, which is good because it can be quite pricey! I like it because it gives me the space to redirect myself when I experience a trigger. When something triggers the urge to smoke, i just literally think, ok, what else can I go do? Other methods have never given me that room to think around the addiction. Plus in the end that is what you have to do, learn to manage stress in a more healthy fashion than lighting up a smoke. It's definitely not a drug for everyone. One of my girlfriends really did badly on it and all the horror stories you hear in the news are quite true if it affects you that way. For myself, I have really cool dreams on it, and use that as part of my reward for not smoking. Good Luck Quitting! Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 105 (view)

New Feature: Men/Women Who Think You are Super Hot Posted: 12/7/2008 11:22:39 AM
Renegade re-read what I said. Profile views and not necessarily your own profile. Meaning though I'm bad at stating it, multiple views of diferent profiles that give a picture of what is most commonly sought by someone. Don't discount it. We already know they track who viewed who, thus your who viewed me list. They also track who contacted, and that list of mine goes back years. (Yes, it's a sad statement of how long I've been here.) The software is out there already that looks for common denominators. Both in stats and looks. When you're logging into what is effectively someone elses database, guess what? They know exactly what you did in it. The only real privacy that is granted to you here is that which is allowed for playing nicely in the pond. Length of time info is left on the server I have no clue about, but the info is there initially to mine. I'm keeping it simplistic because I don't have the tech expertise to back up my theory. I pick up stuff at work though, so I have an idea of what is possible. Just putting it out there as food for thought. I'm not all that concerned with being right, but speculating about what could be contributing is fun for me. As an interesting side note, one of my hot list boyz appears and disappears on a regular basis. We're not really compatable but we've talked in the past about going fishing on and off over the years. We don't keep up a running conversation, more like check in once or twice a year when the fishing is good. Wonder what makes him disappear then show back up like that?

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

must your postings be shown on your profile? Posted: 12/7/2008 9:42:04 AM
Go back and edit your post. Though you only have 15 minutes to do it after it's posted.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

New Feature: Men/Women Who Think You are Super Hot Posted: 12/7/2008 9:19:09 AM
I think at some point it has to be based on profile views. Not neccessarily your own profile, but common traits among the profiles a given person has viewed. I can't remember the website, but there is one out there that does this same thing. Based on who you view it predetermines who it thinks you'd like and who would like you. It is soley based on looks, so they say anyway. An example would be you only click on blonds (not really feasible since humans are curious by nature, but to keep it simple.) So all of your matches would be blond as the first criteria. From there how much time you spend on a given profile, if you favorite it, click on extra pics or more info links, do you go back to it, etc... could all be used to show a higher proportion of interest in certain characteristics. Then those characteristic run against the rest of the system for matches. We give away more info than we think just viewing online. Companies make money off of tracking our online viewing habits, it's not a huge leap to think a dating website could adopt this knowledge as well. This is all just supposition, but the only thing I've been able to do to change the results so far is change my pre defined age range for searches. Food for thought anyway.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

roommates Posted: 12/7/2008 7:53:38 AM
I rent out my upstairs rooms, here are my six must haves before renting: 1. Know what kind of household you wish to maintain. Are you a quite sort, need to get up early? More social? A neat freak? Think long and hard about what you need in your own home, then be very honest about it. Look for someone with the same needs. 2. Do a background check. Seriously, if your local court clerk won't run a quick one for free (most will with a full name and birthdate) then pay for it and pass the cost on. Verify employment as well. 3. Do set up rules about social engagements in the home. It is unreasonable to expect that someone will never have friends over, it is their home too. Likewise significant others have some right to be together sometimes. For me, it's no friends/family over night unless they have traveled from out of town. Definitely no strangers from the bar. Significant others are welcome but no showers or laundry, go home for that. They also can't be making it a nightly event. The kids want an overnight friend, no problem but coordinate it with each other so it doesn't infringe on another event that might be happening in the house. No noise after 10pm. These are just examples and keep in mind you have to abide by the same rules as you housemate or it's just setting up bad feelings. 4. Utilities-Never, I repeat never! Charge a flat rate included in the rent for utilities. It's equal shares based on the number of people (including children) in the house. If you don't you will get stuck with large bills that your renter cannot manage to pay any extra for. It's also not fair for you to pay a half share against two or more people. 5. Chores-Lay them out. On a chart if you have to. Include any yardwork and make it clear up front that there is an expectation your renter will be available for extra stuff that comes up over the year. How clean do you need your home to be? Dirty dishes in the sink get to me like nothing else. Figure out what you need done daily, weekly and monthly and put it out there upfront. Sit down and figure out a rotation that will work to meet those needs. When does it need to be done by? Example, mowing the lawn, mine only needs it monthly right now. But I want the bathroom and kitchen deep cleaned weekly. Dishes and picking up in general, daily. 6. First/Last/Deposit-Get these up front before you give out a key. If they can't afford this, then chance are they can't afford to do any sort of budgeting at all. The deposit can be refundable upon termination of the rental as long as they clean it up and out to your satisfaction. If they don't you now have some funds to do the dump runs and clean up if needed. Let them know how much notice you expect on last month and that it is non refundable. This buys you time to find a new renter if you want one or ensure that your budget won't be stretched to far when your on your own again. You can also request a current status on most utils to settle up before they go near the end of the month. It can work and work well. But everyone has to know what the expectation is up front. I have a great renter right now. The housing mess has upped the class of person wanting to rent rooms to save.

GreenEyedBrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Ditched during the date Posted: 3/9/2008 9:37:30 AM
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do, if someones into you then the where is inconsenquential. (Did I spell that right? lol)

GreenEyedBrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

most of the times i try to open new mail or even just login, i get popup message -download cleanator Posted: 2/19/2008 5:14:22 AM
I'm not sure about Lady Fish, but I'm using AVG, and it's up to date. I'm also using EMS Free surfer, which normally gets every popup that ever was. As a side note, when I googled it yesterday I ran across a lot of references to Windows Advanced Care, which seems harmless enough so I installed and so far no more popups. I like the Hijack This idea though, and will explore that as well, thanks for the tip.

GreenEyedBrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

most of the times i try to open new mail or even just login, i get popup message -download cleanator Posted: 2/18/2008 9:15:38 AM
I'm getting the same popup. It just started in the past few days. It also seems to be getting around my spyware/malware programs. I just updated Spybot, so we'll see if that takes care of it. It is an annoying little bugger though. For those of you not getting it, it forces you to their page, and takes you off the POF website no matter how you try to shut it down. I hate those kind....grrrrr!

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

What was your worst first date experience and why? Posted: 1/1/2008 7:59:37 AM
I had been talking to someone on my space and the phone for about a week. He sounded so nice. Could hold a conversation, good sense of humor, seemed fairly down to earth and a lot of shared interest. After about a week we decided to meet for coffee and possibly go shoot some pool. I arrived at the coffee place first. He came in and sat down and immediately I noticed this odd smell. I'm thinking maybe something just went really bad in the kitchen or one of the other patrons...... We jetted off to a nearby sports bar for some pool, when he arrived, nope it was him. I swear it smelled like he'd taken a bath in old cat pee. It wasn't just a faint smell, it permeated the entire area. I stayed for a few games to be polite, but spent the entire time trying to stay upwind and atleast ten feet way (hard to do around a pool table.) I kept trying to figure out where the smell was coming from, never did figure that out. In hindsight I even wondered if this was a way of telling me he had a diaper fetish??? Was it some odd colonge that just wasn't mixing well on him?? He'd already told me he didn't have any pets, so I have no clue where that horrible aroma came from. Trust me, this is not the way you want to spend a date, being chased around a pool table as someone tries to get close to you, and you try to dodge them.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Any testimonials for Chantix for quitting smoking? Posted: 10/7/2007 4:23:08 PM
I bet you feel better though for being smoke free!/ Not only do I now not have to pay for my pack+ a day habit, but the three inhalers that went with it so I could breathe. Now if they would make a pill that really works for loosing weight.....Ok, so I'm dreaming...lol Still the savings and the improvement to quality of life are remarkable. So, no, I'm not going back...EVER! =) Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Any testimonials for Chantix for quitting smoking? Posted: 10/7/2007 8:40:58 AM
Add me to the Chantix bandwagon. Like most of the others, I was a heavy smoker who'd tried everything else out there. (except the Welplex, haven't heard of that one.) I never made it past day one. While I won't say the Chantix was a breeze, it certainly gave me the edge I needed to get through the first three days after you actually quit. That would be day 8, 9, and 10 on the program. Which is what I found hardest. The only downside? Even early on I was starting to get my sense of smell back. There are some nasty smells out there, that I didn't miss by not smelling them....lol I still find it kind of weird to not be smoking, it was a major part of my life for 37 years, but breathing is good. So I'll stick with it.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Apparently I'm a TOTAL JERK... Posted: 6/24/2007 1:26:19 PM
Yup Daisie, we do think alike. To me it just seems simple not to burn any bridges uneccessarily. It's a small world and it usually comes back to haunt you when you least expect it. Peace Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Apparently I'm a TOTAL JERK... Posted: 6/24/2007 1:13:28 PM
I'm not sure why anyone feels the need to send that, "I guess you're not interested," email???? For example, I sent someone I was interested in seeing if there was a friendship possible since we do have a bunch in common my phone# and a link to a better site. I feel I'm more able to express myself and who I am there, even have a full body video of me gasp actually talking and gushing over my new purple kia. Told him to call if he saw someone he'd like to really be friends with. So no phone call ever came. But, I don't feel some particular need to finalize a few communications with someone I barely know, by sending off a virtual kiss off note. No matter how nicely phrased, it is what it is. So while raking you over the coals was overboard, why in the world did you feel the need to open that door to begin with? This need to tell people who are almost strangers you're done with them, usually in a passive/agressive manner just baffles me. Just food for thought, Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

squash caserole Posted: 5/4/2007 6:17:18 AM
If you're raising any Spaghetti Squash this one takes a bit of time on prep, but always goes fast at any gathering. 1 Med-Med Large Spaghetti Squash (think a little bigger than a football) 28 oz Diced Tomatoes 1 Red Pepper 1 Green Pepper 1 Zucchini 1 Onion Sliced Mushrooms if you like 2 Tbl Olive Oil 1 Teaspoon Basil 1 Teaspoon Oregano 1 Cup Mozzarella 1 Cup Parmesan A smidge to taste of Romano and Asiago Cook your spaghetti squash by your favorite method, while its cooling dice your veggies up. Mix all your cheeses together in a seperate bowl and set aside. Heat the olive oil in a large sauce pan and saute all veggies (except diced tomatos) just until your onions start to carmelize. Throw in your spices and diced tomatos and simmer it for about 15 mins. In a really large bowl, score your spag squash then mix well with your simmering sauce mixture. Pour about half into a 13 x 9 cassarole dish and top with half of your cheese mixture, pour the rest of the squash mixture on top and use the last of your cheese on top of that. Bake at 350 for about 30 mins or until the cheese on top is brown and bubbley. The nice thing about this reciepe is you can use as much or as little cheese as you like, it will still taste awesome with less, and you can play with the veggies mixture you saute according to what you're in the mood for. I know someone who adds roma tomatos at the end of the saute and chilli peppers for more kick. Enjoy, and if there are left overs they are just as good reheated.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 687 (view)

New Feature for Women. Posted: 4/28/2007 2:45:23 PM
While I think the intent was good, the execution maybe isn't so all that. I really am uncomfortable with something given to one gender and not the other. I also think that even though we are all supposed to be adults, not everyone is. We gals already talk to our friends that use the sight also. I've also seen one guy in a forum post somewhere allude to some bunch of guys he knew that also compared notes on who to date and not date from the site. So I'm pretty sure guys have the same thing going on. I know online players of both genders are a huge problem for sites like these, but a method to out them isn't the answer. It's just a bandaid for people that can't take personal accountability for the choices they make. Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Facebook, Myspace and Attention Seeking Personalities - How to spot them .. Posted: 4/28/2007 2:26:39 PM
I have a MySpace page for friends and family. My parents just moved to Spokane, so it's an awesome way to post vids of what their grandson is up to, showing off my purple kia, I even have one vid up for one of my roomies of him playing a song he wrote. The downside is there are a lot of people who want to add you for no apparent reason. You just have to be picky about who you accept as friends. Still over all, with family spread out over the states, it is the best way I know of to keep them up to date with whats going on around here.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Reporting Image As Not Human Posted: 4/8/2007 8:06:24 AM
I like it. Most of my rude mail is from faceless users. It goes well with the "must have pic" email setting. Kudos to our Admin. Now I don't know that I'll be ruthless enough to use it, I can be to nice sometimes. But it's a good feature. Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What's your current cell phone ring? Posted: 4/4/2007 7:55:37 AM
Bad Day, by Daniel Powter. But my favorite all time ring tone was when my son recorded me an, "I Love You Mom" rap he just made up.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Need Something Different Please? Posted: 4/1/2007 7:36:01 AM
I know an easy dip for fruit. Take one of the 14oz blocks of cream cheese, and one can of marshmellow topping and mix it together. I put the mix in a center bowl, and surround it with different kinds of fruit. Strawberries are always the most popular, but you can use any kind of fruit thats fairly firm. Grapes, Apple or Pear Slices, even Pineapple.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What's up with the attitude? Posted: 2/4/2007 8:11:21 AM
I have one guy who does a drive by email every so often (Creepy!) to let me know how fat and useless I am to him. He is constantly switching out his name on his account or creating new ones. Not really sure which. It's been so long since I had a brief exchange with him, that I don't even remember what set him off. Then I have another one who is memorable for actually going out to find some other fat girls profile, sending me the link to it and telling me how I should be grateful someone is saying I want you, since she never hears that. Now, I'm grateful for a lot of things in my life, but strangers who don't even care what my name is saying I want you are a dime a dozen. In the end I think you learn how to shake your head and just ignore it. The flip side is you do run into some really cool people, have some great conversation, and even make a few friends. For those of you still looking there is even the occasional date. Just hang in there! Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 82 (view)

One word or one line responses to an e-mail, what does it mean? Posted: 2/1/2007 6:41:31 PM
They aren't into you on any level, plain and simple. It takes two people to be vested into a conversation.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Help for my Senior Tenant Posted: 1/31/2007 7:54:01 PM
Ok, I"m not from Canada, but here in Washington state we have Adult Protective services. They generally deal with aging and disabled clients. Here they can come in, help determine if the person is able to safely live on their own, without consent, and set them up with local social services that they qualify for, with consent. They can also refer the client to various programs where they receive a case manager who can advocate on the clients behalf, with consent. One stop shopping if you have a similar agency. I'd look in the phone book for Aging and Disability programs through your local equivelent of social/human services. They are exactly who you call here when you're worried someones mental capacity is diminished to the point they can't manage day to day living(self neglect), when someone who can't care for themself is being neglected by a caregiver, or you suspect abuse. I feel bad I don't know the names of any of your agencies, but most Countries recognize aging and disabled as vulnerable populations and put programs in place to help them. Hope it all works out! Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Should I tell her? Posted: 1/31/2007 7:23:03 PM
You keep it to yourself. If she is feeling something for you, and only she knows, it's up to her to make the circumstance of her life compatible with pursuing it. Not to you to give her the opportunity to do so. If she was yours would you want some guy approaching her, knowing she is in a relationship with you, about his attraction to her so she would know she can date him instead if she likes? If you tell her and she does wind up with you, do you worry through the whole relationship if she will do that do to? Smaller things have torn down the best of couples. In the end I think there is a certain amount of respect we give to others in relationships. We let their relationship run its course, unless true abuse is involved. For what it's worth, those are my thoughts... Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Question about Nipple Piercing Posted: 1/28/2007 7:20:44 AM
I was also thinking of getting one done a few years back until I heard something from my doctor that bothered me. Totally a different opinion from all the others but just thought I would mention it. This is prob in the long run for you but if you plan on having children- and breast feeding........this will be affecting by having a nipple ring. Any hole that is put in the body will produce scar tissue when you take it out. Most nipple rings are done exactly in the place where you do not want to have this scar tissue. So all in all- if you plan on breast feeding when that day comes its not a good idea- but if you don't then hey go nuts All bodies are diferent, and no one will have the exact same experience, but I had no trouble breast feeding after piercing. I did remove them prior to my son's birth and let the piercing close up because my medical practioner was unsure if dust, etc... could get in and contaminate the milk. That was eleven years ago though, don't know if they ever answered that one definitively. After I was done nursing, I had them redone. Small enough price to pay for my son's healthy start in life. Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

Piercings Posted: 1/28/2007 7:07:41 AM
The thing I'm wondering can women get through airport security with piercings? I would hate to be dating a girl and have her constantly setting off an alarm at an airport. Could you imagine having to whisper to someone at a security check point that there's nothing to worry about your girlfriend just has a tiny barbell pierced through her vagina. The answer is yes, you can get through security. I know I worried about that when I first had to fly after getting mine. Not a beep out of any machine so far. I just didn't know what I was going to do if I had to prove it was only a piercing. Cancel my trip maybe?

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 105 (view)

HOW OFTEN DO YOU USE PROFANITY? Posted: 12/1/2006 7:29:57 AM
Swearing invalidates your point in my book. Afterall how can you have a good conversation with someone who can't adequately express what they mean? I'm only human, and of course I forget myself once in a great while too. But overall I believe a good vocabulary takes you much farther than a four letter one.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Would You Be Concerned? Posted: 11/25/2006 10:14:31 AM
Your friend is emotionally immature. That has nothing to do with her weight per se. You're right Sombient, one of my favorite personal sayings is: "Insecurity comes in all sizes." I'm sure we could change out immaturity for insecurity. =) Weight, is just weight. If it wasn't there and one didn't have a good sense of self there would still be issues.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

why can't felons get jobs but illegal alien's can ? Posted: 11/25/2006 10:02:29 AM
So I rent out rooms, and about a year and a half ago I took a big chance and accepted a female felon from work release as a renter. I've watched her try over and over to get it together, and watched her also be blocked at every try. She is honest to a fault, even somewhat blunt. But it's nice, as it keeps us all on keel. She pays her rent and utils on time. On the rare occasion she can't, she was really sick for a few weeks last year, she let me know upfront when I could expect it and worked her butt off for overtime to catch up. She can't get any health benefits, food stamps, or subsidized housing. She tried to go back to school, but kept being told she couldn't pursue chosen majors because of her past. She is lucky, to have an $8 an hour job doing telephone surveys. She can't get anything better because of her past. She is actually one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. I know if it was me, I'd be a basket case from all of the road blocks, but she just keeps on trying to move forward, somehow, someway. She admits openly if it wasn't for her support network of friends and family she wouldn't be able to stay straight. In short, I took a chance, and had my eyes opened. There are days when I wonder why anyone is let out of jail, since they dont get any sort of chance to make good and have a decent life post prison.

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Would You Be Concerned? Posted: 11/25/2006 9:25:42 AM
The net is an interesting place, as it enabled a lot of people that that society told they weren't good enough to meet other people in the same situation. At first it was empowering, but quickly became a point of potential abuse by various and assorted not so nice types. Your friend sounds like she is addicted to the rush of being in love. Thus the online relationships with unlikely candidates for reality. I'm even guessing if pushed to meet one of them, misgivings about them would start to surface and she would resist meeting face to face. You can always find someone to tell you what you want to hear online. Unfortunately, while she's playing at her romances, there is a little girl starving for attention. If it was just her, like it or not there is really nothing you can do until she realizes the problem for herself. But there is a child in need, and if it is truely a neglect situation, you do have an obligation to involve an authority who can help. Will you loose your friend, most likely. She isn't going to thank you for this unless she truely comes to see what she is doing to herself and her child. But talk to the agencies near you, find out what kind of support they can get the mother to try to work back to a healthy relationship with her daughter. Then make your choice. Knowledge is power. Brat

Greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

kittens - biting Posted: 11/18/2006 8:18:36 AM
Try having seven of the little darlings. Yes, I said seven. I took in a pregant foster. The little bits are about 6 weeks now and EVERYWHERE! The minute I sit down on the floor to play I have seven running at me to play king of the mountain, and I'm the mountain..lol It's natural for a kitten to pounce on anything that moves and sometimes even something that isn't moving but they understand could if provoked. But I have found with seven, that they respond very well to voice when you're consistant. In other words it can't be alright one time, then wrong the next. Whatever method you choose, just be consistant. Your baby will learn, and faster than you think!

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Am I Wrong For Replying To Women I'm Not Interested In? Posted: 9/29/2006 5:32:07 AM
Well...I usually don't tell them that I'm not interested. I just talk to them. Again, because I don't want to be rude or hurt their feelings. I mean, I don't want to tell a girl that I don't find her attractive. I actually did that to a girl once on another site. She kept IM'ing me. And I sent her an email saying that I wasn't attracted to obese women. I still feel bad about that. Ok, this is where I see it as a whole new question. It's one thing to honestly communicate that your not interested, and another to start up a conversation. Yes, this very much could be construed as leading someone on. There is nothing wrong with telling someone up front that your not interested, for whatever reason, however you want to sugarcoat it or not. I personally don't think there is any reason to be rude about it. But you still need to make it clear before you pursue chit chat with them. In the long run, not making it clear is way more hurtful than an intitial rejection. If effect you've given them a chance (in their mind) to be someone to you and now you're not just rejecting them on looks, you're rejecting them on multiple levels. If you're clear and concise in a nice way from the get go, you have no responsibilty for how someone takes it. If you're sending mixed messages though, yes you could be guilty of leading someone on, and the hurt engendered.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

sperm bank Posted: 9/16/2006 3:07:47 PM
I might be the exception here but why is it so important for women to have that "inside me" feeling and "part of me feeling"? I mean a kid is a kid and you'd love it for what he/she is not where he/she came from. I don't mean to offend anyone but I don't understand why that is so important. If you want a kid isn't it because you want a kid and not becuase of the feeling to have something in your stomach? I didn't understand it either, until it happened to me. Now I get it, but we aren't all born with that need to have our own children. Sperm banks serve a purpose, often when a couple is having infertility problems, its on the male side. They don't always know, or aren't comfortable with asking a close relative to help out with a donation (at the fertility clinic, please!) so sperm banks are needed. No clue about the male side of donation, but I used to work at a fertility clinic, and the gals who donate eggs are screened very thoroughly.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

I keep setting myself up, how do I stop?!?!?! Posted: 9/10/2006 10:18:37 AM
What I'm getting is you're presuming the men you meet have the same goals in a relationship as you, but never discussed it before you jumped into an intimate relationship with them? So things go along, and then out of nowhere you change from relaxed, kicked back relationship to I have expectations after all?? If I'm getting it right, you should have established that you had expectations long before the intimate part happened. If a commitment is what you ultimately want, don't be afraid to say so upfront at the beginning. Be honest with yourself, and those you meet and you'll eventually find someone worth exploring with.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

They disappear on weekends and come back on week days! Posted: 9/10/2006 9:57:45 AM
Well, it could be any one of the things you mentioned. I'm voting for they have a life though. I've noticed a lot of times people have their weekend free time planned out before it gets there. If you think you want to meet someone, don't presume they just leave time open for you last minute. Get your bid in a little early and you just might have weekend plans too!

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Who is better qualified than a parent? Posted: 9/10/2006 9:37:10 AM
Ok, I'm not sure, but what I think she is getting at is seeking out dates that have strong ties to the values their parents instilled in them and a sense of accountability to the parent to live up to them in adult life. This presumes only those with values similar to her own will be introduced by a parent though. In the end, yes most kids live up to the way their parent raised them and similar values, the real question is what were those values. It worked for you once OP, but really you just got lucky. Count it as a blessing that you know more about you, and what you want in a mate and go forward with that knowledge. A introduction by a parent is not a guarantee of ones character. Which is what I think you're getting at.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

ONE MORE FOR THE GUYS,BUT ANY INPUT WELCOME Posted: 9/9/2006 7:30:46 AM
Webcams are about what your comfortable with. Nothing more, nothing less. I've had a cam since the original b/w quickcam came out. Yes, I went through an exhibitionist stage both alone and with a partner who was into it. However, being on cam and wanting to show off is a far cry from going out and finding a stranger to do you. In the end its about how you perceive yourself, and how in touch you are with your own needs. I've long since outgrown the thrill, but still jump on my favorite vchat programs from time to time to say hi to old friends who are still hanging out. To my mind its a fun, safe way to explore your sexuality.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Washington men Posted: 9/8/2006 5:12:28 AM
Its just part of playin in the online pond Newgirl. Just brush it off and move on. Also don't limit your options. There are tons of neat clubs in this area for all interests. I think the cities main webpage even links to them...er..somewhere...lol Go down to Illahee St Park on a sunny day, you'll meet bunches of nice folks. I always do. Get out n about and you'll start meeting cool people. I promise you they are out there. Brat

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

What do you make of that? Posted: 9/3/2006 10:26:13 PM
most of you are missing the point. No one sent that to him. HE wants to send it to someone he is interested in. He states that it is quoted, thats where we are getting that impression that it was sent to him, and not one he wants to send. Either way, it screams "I PLAY GAMES!" lol

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

What do you make of that? Posted: 9/3/2006 9:03:02 AM
Delete and run. Run fast! Satire is an art. I get that is what she was going for. To be diferent from the rest of the crowd and stand out and get your attention. That was accomplished. But to put so much negativity into it with only one tiny little bit of positive phrased as a maybe at the end. Eeek..... is all I can think. Ok, thats not true, I have a second thought. ISSUES!!! lol To me it seems like she is trying (badly) to play a game of daring you to jump through hoops to change her mind about you. If you bite and fall you'll be jumping through out the entire relationship. While its true that there is the occasional person on POF who just is here to cause trouble, they don't usually offer that little bit of hope at the end. Like you can somehow change their mind about you. My opinion only, mileage may vary.... Brat

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

What's with the one line answers? Posted: 9/2/2006 4:52:50 PM
Her reply? "hi" That was it. So you didn't say anything back? Girls get fly by's all the time. They email you once and no matter how much or how little you say back thats the last you hear from them. From this thread I'll presume guys do to. Did you offer up something for conversation? I don't know what you said, but my experience is that I get into the best conversations with folks who are doing more than just fishing for a reply. There is an actual topic of common interest introduced that invites comment back. For example I get a lot of emails that say, "Your cute" usually followed by some emoticon. My first thought is...and???? There isn't really much you can say back to this. I mean think about it. Only narcissist get into disucussions about how cute they themself are. Just what are you supposed to say? I usually just reply thank you and forget about them. Conversely if I get, "You're cute, and I see you like to fish. I like to fish too", I'll put a bit more thought into my reply. This person has given me somewhere to go. That was hardly to much to type out, showed that the person atleast read and shares one of my interests, and opens the door to discovering other things about each other.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

What's with the one line answers? Posted: 9/2/2006 2:06:16 PM
I generally do it when: 1. They've given me nothing to go on to begin with but am basically polite so respond just to be nice. Usually their profile is less than filled out, so no help there coming up with something to ask them. 2. When I've got that zinger that just won't stay inside. 3. When I don't have time to answer, but I know they know I've read their email and don't want to come across as rude for not responding. There are days when I feel like I'm expected to do backflips because some stranger sent an email. Bottom line, if I'm responding there is interest on my part in finding out more about who you are. I just find that folks tend to tell you more about who they really are if you're not nosy and let them just be. I actually met my best cyber friend (not to be confused with my real time best friend) through trading one liners on vid chat. Its been eight years now, all from a few one liners. In the end, I think investing to much of yourself to soon online is silly. Make friends, have fun, and find value where you find it. Sometimes one line says a lot!

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

~HALLOWEEN MUSIC~ Posted: 9/2/2006 9:30:22 AM
Goblin Girl-Frank Zappa A bit of inuendo never hurt any party....

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Seperated, but not legally. I need advice, please! Posted: 8/29/2006 6:37:48 PM
By the way....It's also.... JUST A PIECE OF PAPER. I love people who say this. Yes, it is just a piece of paper, but until you have it, both parties are responsible for any financial/legal situations that either engender. Whether they are living together or not. For example, by legal I mean, if your seperated partner goes into the hospital and needs someone to decide medical care for them if they can't. Guess what? Spouse is always looked to first for this decision. Followed by oldest child (if legal age), parents, and just about anyone else related to them but you the current partner. Yes, there are medical POA's, but how many people get them for someone they are dating? God forbid it will happen, no one wishing that on anyone, but think about it. You can be pushed aside legally from important decisions, if his ex is running up bills left and right and you do wind up married to him you can be liable for them, and in some states the new wifes wages are also garnished for child support. I'm not saying he's not a great guy, I'm not saying he's not the one for you. Only you can know that for yourself. But these are real issues that you need to be aware of as possible and be ok with. There are some serious consenquences to divorcing especially when children are involved, though most don't see it as such. After all, its just a piece of paper. Brat

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

....the wife phoned me!! Posted: 8/29/2006 12:14:19 PM
Ginger....tell me how someone being divorced will prevent them from cheating or going back to their ex? Just like a ring doesn't guarantee fidelity, a divorce decree ain't gonna stop someone from going back. Well, I'm not Ginger, but I think the point is that people who tend to take care of their old business before starting new business are viewed as more responsible and trustworthy. Its kind of like being fat/old/smoker/(insert your favorite turn off here). Being honest about it doesn't make it any more attractive to someone who's not attracted to it. But this thread really isn't about honesty, its about the lack of it. I think its sad that somewhere along the line its become ok for people to decide what they want is all that matters, and that they have a right to do anything it takes to get it. I'm not saying everyone is like that, just that it's kind of becoming the norm.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

The pedofiles among us Posted: 8/29/2006 10:15:27 AM
BUT, with the advent of the Internet and the World Wide Web, suddenly these people have an avenue where they can seek out likeminded people and talk to each other as a part of their community online. And, much like you get people looking for Photo Exchanges on websites like this, you're bound to get photo exchanges on communities like that, as well as other things that I don't even want to think about let alone type. Take this one step further Gazchap. With the advent of the internet they suddenly have an avenue of SUPPORT. Thats where I think the real ticket is. Whereas before internet chat, I imagine connecting up to others with the same tendancies was hard to do. But now they very much can easily find one another, and talk themselves into believing its ok being the way they are. It was one thing when they were isolated, but the gig is up. Safety in numbers or whatnot, the support they give to each other on these sites makes them braver than ever. I don't think there are less or more of them, I think they make OK for each other to be out about it to some extent now. Brat

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Covey Mentality? Posted: 8/13/2006 9:21:45 PM
I suspect my IQ is not the question here, but rather the fact that some have an idealistic nature that tends toward giving people the benefit of the doubt....some people are not worth that doubt apparently. Or it just may be that we take responsibility for our own choices. Good or bad. Lets turn this around for a second. From what I've read I could make a strong arguement for the fact that whats really going on here is you wanting others to "make a choice for you." You're looking for others to sanitize what you want to do into something noble and good. So if it turns out badly, you can blame it on them. "They told me to, so it's not my fault." Now, and get this straight, I'm NOT making that arguement. But from where I'm sitting it has crossed my mind more than once that it could be what is going on here. Among many other things that could be true. Now I just gave you the benefit of a doubt without compromising myself or my emotions. It is possible to do that and it has nothing to do with being idealistic. Its a process of understanding I don't know you well enough, and would need more information about who you are as a person before I could ever decide what your motive really is. In other words, no you not going to be believed by everyone just because you say something is true. That is exactly how this guy got to you if what you are saying is true. You took him at face value when you really didnt know him well at all. Why should anyone in turn make the same mistake? If you're not to miffed at me, think about it. I mean REALLY think about it. Brat P.S. to Blue-Just say no to saintly icons... =)

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

Covey Mentality? Posted: 8/13/2006 9:00:21 PM
Nothing neutralizes a game player faster than an exceptionally intelligent woman Amen! The common thing I see going on is little to no accountability for the choice they made to go ahead and get invovled with someone and allow them (yes, I said allow) to manipulate them. You can read all of the warnings you want to your hearts content. And you can spend time guessing if the warning was true or not. But I can guarantee you, that if you have any interaction with other human beings someone out there can come up with a warning about you in turn. I have very high doubts that anyone here is up for sainthood currently. There some days where I think people online are so determined to weed each other out via email, that its a wonder anyone is left to grow into something meaningful.

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Is there any obligation to warn others about someone? Posted: 8/13/2006 1:59:32 PM
This is a stupid and naive thing to say and comes from someone who obviously doesn't understand the male psyche. This man will not be great with anyone. Pathological liars don't change overnight. It would be good if the OP would warn others. But she is under no obligation to do so. So how do you prove to yourself she is the one telling the truth? No one online ever does anything out of pure spite? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying she is or isn't anything. My whole question, is how do you know?

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Is there any obligation to warn others about someone? Posted: 8/13/2006 11:19:55 AM
There are three sides to every story. His, Yours, and the Truth. Noone who doesn't know you personally can determine from what you say what is the truth. Just food for thought" And I think its a food that people should eat more often You're right Blues, but I really think the crux of the matter is if you won't listen to yourself why should anyone listen to you? Brat

greeneyedbrat

Joined: 1/7/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Is there any obligation to warn others about someone? Posted: 8/13/2006 10:38:14 AM
Nope, here is why. There are three sides to every story. His, Yours, and the Truth. Noone who doesn't know you personally can determine from what you say what is the truth. I know you say you'd like to have been warned. But think about it? You admit you're own instincts were warning you, but you didn't heed them. Do you really think you would have believed some stranger when you didn't believe yourself? Just food for thought. Brat

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