Sexless marriages/relationships.....go figure? chat & forums.

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Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 243 (view)

Sexless marriages/relationships.....go figure? Posted: 11/23/2009 10:04:32 PM
princess, may I reword your post? did your marriage end (solely) because of a lack of sex, or would you rather describe it as ending because you had a strong need that you husband refused to meet anymore. A need that you felt was integral to your definition of marriage. Would it be fair to surmise that there were other unmet needs in the marriage that caused the lack of sex to be the straw that broke the camel's back. while I am not about to defend sexless marriages, it is my experience that for some couples, even without a regular sex life they have sufficient love and affection to overcome what we consider a loss. Remember, for some couples sex can be difficult. When you are young and fit the ease of coupling is amazing. As folk age, even when the mechanics are working the will can sometimes be a bit much. And then there is inertia -- which can be an implacable force unto itself. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

What is LOVE? Posted: 11/23/2009 9:50:09 PM
miller58, Love is both feeling, a noun, and action, a verb. You can feel love from, and for, another (through their actions) while another can only know (feel) your love through your actions. We can talk till we're blue in the face about how much we love another, but until we act our words are meaningless. Ultimately, the greatest expression of love is the total giving of your self for another; yes, even unto death. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Unsure about church singles Posted: 11/23/2009 9:42:47 PM
Oy, mate: Back when I was your age, I, too, was a single. The difference was I was one of those involved in a church singles group at a large church. We did various things like regular meetings for board games and snacks (Trivial Pursuit had just come out and we played that a lot), was on a volleyball team, we went out gathering Christmas trees, and other typical things including a few retreats. And, yes, we sometimes sat around discussing bible topics. Unless you are fully closed minded going once ain't gonna harm you at all. In fact, you might desire to return. While I don't remember specific persons, I'm sure we had visitors and regulars of all gradations of faith. As long as you are not disruptive, all are welcome - just as scripture commands. Blessings in your journey, brother. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 189 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/22/2009 1:34:25 PM
Frau Blücher, I bit and googled said Cleveland Steamer and associated Steamroller; fetish or not, how or where does one ever make the connection of the aforementioned act with anything even remotely sexual? That you would even know about such an act of abasement only leads me to the conclusion that you've been in Calipornia way too long. TK {naive, and more than ever, pleased to be so}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 137 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/20/2009 10:37:13 PM
peachypooh1975 wrote, in part: there has to be sexual chemestry, 1st time my x and I had it And yet, even with the sexual chemistry, he is still an x; so, obviously, there must be something more important to establishing and maintaining a long lasting relationship than sexual chemistry. I hear this over and over on PoF, and I'll tell you, it is a foreign concept to me. Sex is important to me, but all I hear from so many on PoF is the mechanics have to be mind blowing, gots to have that sexual chemistry, gots to kick the tires/perform the test drive. And yet time after time, the same result occurs - there is one more x by the side of the road. Personally, I think a lot more can be determined about a future lover through non-sexual interaction. How the woman interacts with me, with others, how giving she is in daily life, esp. toward and with me, tells me a lot about what her state of mind between the sheets will be. Now, that does not preclude having "the talk." I think in this day and age, and especially after having been married for 20+ years and being sexually active, it is important to know that you both are on the same page, more or less. But the actual mechanics can wait for a later day. If both partners are focused on the pleasure of their mate, then awesome results can be expected. Further, as several posters have stated, as we age, as the relationship ages, we/it change as well. Having a firm foundation to build the sexual relationship on is of vital importance to me. Build you sexual foundation on shifting sand, rather than solid rock, and you're going to be looking at another x in your rear view mirror. TK {yeah, I know, I'm dated, and many of you out there are snidely thinking, with a smirk upon your lips, that I'm destined for loneliness or sexual frustration. eh?}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 90 (view)

Men and self esteem Posted: 11/20/2009 10:03:05 PM
I find these issues of self esteem silly. Growing up I don't have any memories about adults worried about our self esteem - and if there were concerns we took care of it by going out and doing. And perhaps that is the difference. Back in the day I had very little free time to wonder if I "measured up," if I was as good as the others. I don't think I ever once pondered my navel while worrying about my self esteem. I was not Mr. Popular, I was (actually still am) socially awkward, never had a six pack (while now-a-days I fight the dreaded pony keg), wasn't the brightest, not much of a jock, etc; but I DID. I worked, I contributed, I demonstrated my worth to myself and those around me through my performance. I mattered. And perhaps that's the problem today. We don't have kids out there doing, like we did back then. There are some. my son is one, and in him am I pleased. And his peers, those he hangs with, also contribute. And I don't hear them give voice to "woe is me" tales. These kids know they got what it takes. Because they are out there making a difference. They're doing, their self worth (self esteem ) comes not from some external source, but from their own knowledge of their own accomplishments. They don't need no stinkin' commercial telling them how they are special. External praises with no inner voice does nothing but create imbeciles who expect to be lauded for wiping their asses properly. If we want to raise a generation of competent adults we need to allow our kids to succeed or fail on their own merits, and not sit around waiting to be fawned over. TK {there are few sights as glorious as seeing a child smile from the inner knowledge that they accomplished something, themselves}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 32 (view)

Free speach......... just how far does the right to free speach reach...... Posted: 11/17/2009 10:07:31 AM
Beth, EW: You've both **stardized the law with your plaints. You've taken the principle of an "un-lawful touching", of property, or person and turned it into an unlawful touching is any touching that goes against your desires, even if you haven't made public announcement of that restriction. For instance, as another poster has mentioned, I can touch your door to knock to get your attention, ring your bell for the same reason; AND unless you specifically post do not enter, do not touch/ring/knock a stranger would not have knowledge about not using your property in a conventional manner. Like wise, I can touch your child in a conventional manner, to shake his / her hand in greeting, to catch the child should he/she trip, etc; none of those would be considered unlawful touchings. I really don't need to go into what an unlawful touching would be, now would I? As for the flyers, themselves: yeah, I find them an annoyance, most do, but commercial speech also has some protections. After all, if it wasn't for commercial speech you wouldn't be able to carry out this intent: if i want your business i'll come to you . Commercial speech is essential to capitalism and to our way of life. It's just that in so doing they cannot unlawfully touch what is yours (i.e., cause you harm, and a flyer does not cause you harm). TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Lou Dobbs quit because of left wing hatred. Posted: 11/16/2009 2:01:32 PM
Oh really...is that why FOX has more viewers than all these media outlets combined? Preach it, brother, Preach it! What I find interesting about the popularity of FOX of the other networks, cable, is that is this part of the woods, FOX is only offered in the more expensive subscriptions, whereas, CNN is part of the basic packages. So, folks have to spend more to get FOX, and yet, it still leads. Quality and content always shine through. OH, and lets not forget, CNN seems to have the franchise in airports as well. TK {FOX fan, through and through}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 280 (view)

Smarter ladies have worse sex Posted: 11/16/2009 10:05:25 AM
kpooks wrote: If that is true, it's probably because smarter ladies can be overly analytical, rather than letting the moment BE and simply enjoying it. There is such a thing as editorializing...then there is such a thing as discarding all that mental junk and simply letting animal instinct take over. If she's smart ENOUGH, she should be able to do either. Alright, this thread has been resurrected, so here's my simple take on the situation: First, I am not the most sexually experienced fella around, in fact, I'm probably so far down on the experienced scale that one would have to use log-log graph paper to even see my minuscule data point, so let me comment on the data set I have available, the lady I married way back in the days of slide rules and main frames, a lady who had as much education as I. Perhaps the authors of the article in question were referring to women like the lady I married, who in a march for professional success focused exclusively on achieving that success, looking neither to the left nor to the right. If an activity did not enhance route to the desired professional success it was either ignored or set on the back burner. The problem I/we experienced was that once professional success was achieved behavior patterns were set in place, thought processes entrenched, and the thrill of achieving professional success was supplanted with a drive to maintain the success and then climb the next rung. So, instead of having time together at the end of a long day, free time at home in the quiet of the night became another part of the day devoted to "catching up" on reading, reports, etc. 10, 15, 20 years of that drains the desire the other partner feels or wants to devote. Now, I realize that this can go equally in the other direction. And I wonder how many marriages suffered long term damage when the man, also on an upward track, devoted himself to that task rather than to the other who desired to share a life with him. So, do smart ladies have worse sex?, well, maybe, but perhaps it's not about ability but focus. Personally, I like smart, intelligent women, women who can and like to contribute; but there has to be a balancing act. Perhaps, if there is a 2nd time around for me and I fall for one of these smart, driven women, life' lesson's will have been learned (by both of us) and we can have a better go of it than we did. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Looking For Some Real Honest Answers Here Posted: 11/13/2009 11:18:12 PM
OP: I want to be kind here, but I'm having a hard time finding any appropriate words. First, what was it about this endearing woman that was so attractive? Did you not get her message from the git go that she just wasn't into you as much as these other activities. Second, you have to grow up and take ownership of your choices. YOU chose to continue the relationship after the initial warning flags. WHY? YOU chose to keep the "relationship" going long after it was clear you were the only one actually participating. Personally, I'm of the mind that this has happened before to you. You choose unavailable women and try to mold them into your life and when that doesn't work you get peeved. May I make a suggestion? Sit down, have a talk with a (male) therapist and get to the bottom of this problem. Otherwise, I think you'll continue to sabotage any future relationships. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

being ignored Posted: 11/13/2009 10:49:27 PM
Darlin', take some time and read some of the the books by John Gottman. he focuses on marriage but what he has to say is applicable to all couples. For instance, his "seven principles...." covers a lot of what you just asked and then some. The short of it is that it comes down to confrontational styles. Some folk, couples, have a ignore the issue style in hopes that it will pass. Others attack the issue head on, and others are more prophylactic in their approach. None of these styles is wrong, but each requires a different coping strategy. What your bf does is similar to how my son's mom and I interact: when a problem arises we would both hide in our shells until the problem went away. I cannot say that this is the best approach, I wish we confronted things differently, but that was the way it was/is. Next time around I would very much prefer a different solving style. I hope you and your boyfriend find a suitable coping style. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 662 (view)

Very long hair on a woman is very femine and sexy, but few women have long hair Posted: 11/12/2009 12:25:41 PM
spicynicegirl wrote: I want my man to look masculine and men who choose to have long hair look slightly feminine to me I have to agree with spicynicegirl. I have always found men with long hair, that is down to or past their shoulders, to be feminine looking. What makes it worse is when they adopt feminine mannerisms like the head/ hair flip to get the long locks out of their eyes -- seriously creeps me out. Now, I realize I am a cultural relic but I like short hair on men and longer hair on women. [Although I have to admit there have been more than a few women with shorter hair that have been stunning.] For most women, well maintained longer hair just looks right. TK {my hair style would still fit in well at Quantico, and maintenance is a breeze: comb with a wash cloth, if needed, and no need for the head flip to get it out'a my eyes}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

Incompatibly Compatible ever after? Posted: 11/12/2009 12:02:37 PM
Pfilly08: It's been a while since this was an issue for me, and I suspect it will be a while till it becomes an issue again, I do have some thoughts. First is that I know that sparks can fly when opposites meet, sometimes for the good. After all it takes and anode and a cathode to get electricity to flow. But, it is my heartfelt opinion that for a long lasting relationship, a life long affair, there have to be more commonalities than not. For me that means those core values have to be compatible. No, I don't want a clone, gads I barely tolerate myself some days, but I do want to know that we are going in the same direction. Second, in those areas in which we do differ (viva la difference) they should not be of the variety that cannot not be ignored or accepted. First thoughts that come to mind for me are issues like smoking and sedentary lifestyle. Smoking is a big no-no for me as I see smokers as self loathing and I have no desire to deal with that mind set. Sofa spuds are just no fun. Maybe in 30 years sitting around all day may hold more sway, but for now I prefer to get up and move. But, on the other hand, I also know that there are times that love is blind. Sometimes we just don't have the "choice" in who we are attracted to. It might be a short term fling, but I suspect that for some, that spark they feel is sufficient to get them through some very difficult times. I would hope that my rational side would never get in the way of honest to goodness, God granted electricity. TK {Lightening is electricity, ain't it?} p.s., Ms. Pfilly08, how's that ankle injury of yours healed. You back to running?

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 391 (view)

Liberal vs conserative Posted: 11/11/2009 7:42:26 AM
MetDBlck wrote, in part: <div class="quote"> If their politcal label is responsible for the presentation of values that you do not agree with, in person. AKA someone who always has a political agenda. Then there's reason to believe you are not compatible. Again, though, this is not being compatible due to their personality and the way you mesh together. Some people do not let their politcal views ride their personality so strongly, and to assume adopting certaing political views is a surefire way to establish the ins and outs of somebody's persona is a case you have to judge individually. For some people, politics is merley how they wish their country to be administered and run, and they are only really concerned about it during voting and election periods. Them being a conservative or liberal perhaps wouldn't even show if you asked them, and even then they may not be happy to discuiss it further. This is the mind set I have a hard time reconciling with. My political views are a reflection of my world view. I am a fundamentally conservative person and my faith, lifestyle, politics, spending, interpersonal interactions all reflect that fundamental core set of beliefs. My world view, my political views, etc. are not matters of convenience. What kind of message would I be sending if my preaching and teaching, walk and talk, were in contradiction? When the issue of dating comes up am I going to make adjustments just because she's exceptionally attractive? I don't think so. While I'm supporting pro-life groups am I going to be able to find anything attractive about a woman who is adamant in her belief that an unborn child is naught but a bit of tissue that can be flushed down a sink with no consequences? When I'm busting my hump to put food on the table and feed myself and those who are struggling (from my income and garden) and she is out encouraging others to live off the government teat -- I am supposed to find that alluring? I don't know how Carville and Matelin do it. But for me, a meshing of world views, which includes politics, only makes sense. I've known left leaning ladies in the past and not a single one of them ever came across as someone I could or would want to spend any long term intimate time with. Fundamental commonalities are just non-existent. TK {Yeah, I listen to Rush, Hannity, Beck, and anyone else who is in their right mind }

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

Serendipity? Posted: 11/10/2009 6:17:10 AM
ZB, serendipity (the accidental discovery of something pleasant, valuable, or useful) is one of my favorite words, and occurrences in life; of course, I like to think of it as divine providence, but that's me and not Mr. Webster. As for meeting someone from my past, there are a couple young (er, not so young, I guess) ladies that I would be blessed to run into again. Both of them filled me with the warm fuzzies. If nothing else, it would be a blessing to know that life has treated them well. As for actually meeting someone, never happened, and I'm not holding my breath. I wish you and your happenstance well. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

What's this I see, he says suspiciously ... Posted: 11/10/2009 5:59:45 AM
Kjacks31 wrote: I think, though I can't say for sure, that men react to these ads more than women do. Well, knowing that I cannot speak for any other men, we were having a similar discussion in our small group in church this past Sunday and I proffered my opinion that I am immune to the subliminal message of ads. It's not that I don't notice them, it's just that ads long ago reached the saturation point for me and somewhere along the way I just tuned them out. Their loss. As for the girly-girl ads on PoF, they're wasting their money on me: I've never been attracted to the large breasts and round rump. So while something like Playboy might be fodder for a large swath of men, I'm left as empty as an irrigation canal in winter. Beside, I've never played with Barbie; and seemingly all those "Need a Girlfriend" adverts have girls that look as if they've been Barbie-ized. What a waste, some of those gals were kind'a cute. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

DUIs a deal-breaker? Posted: 11/9/2009 2:35:07 PM
I can't honestly answer for myself, but here's a few things I would consider: I would talk to her sponsor, I would have to be prepared to give up alcohol, period, I would have to be prepared for changes in my lifestyle. If this is someone you care about and envision a long term relationship then you're going to want what is best for her and that is no alcohol: not in the house, not on your breath, not even a slip when you two are separated. The common thought is that with an addiction issue like alcohol, an alcoholic has to refrain for the rest of their life; like a a devil-dog, once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. So, are you in for the whole shebang or is she just convenient? TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 41 (view)

A playful groper Posted: 11/9/2009 2:28:01 PM
Hoss, your problem is not "groper," it's the female you're now calling your girlfriend. Face the music, dude, she likes what he does: either the actual groping, as it makes her feel wanted/desirable/whatever; or she gets off on the attention; or she gets off on the disrespect is shows groper's wife. Personally, I might have have already ascended his testicles up near his tonsils if I didn't do any prior thinking, but in reality this is not your problem, other than whether this is the type of behavior you want from an intimate (your g/f, moron.) Do you really think that behavior that's been ongoing for 20 years is unwanted. Give it a think, or two. Were it me, I'd be outta there. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 414 (view)

Sexiest occupation Posted: 11/6/2009 11:40:41 AM
4.5 years worth of responses. NOT gonna read through 'em all. Sexiest occupation? Piece of cake: parent and spouse, rolled into one TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Would like to know.....?? Posted: 11/6/2009 9:08:00 AM
All mouth and no trousers. ?????! All bull, no horn TK {bullock, steer oh, fer pete's sake, he's castrated!}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

Money or Wisdom, which do you prefer ? Posted: 11/5/2009 2:04:22 PM
Oh, Puh-leeze, stupid question. The two are not mutually exclusive, esp. if you choose wisdom. #1, folk with wisdom don't sit around pondering their navels, they are out doing things. #2, one of the things they can and may be doing is earning a living. #3, your first choice is not even an option for me as my ability to do nothing is close to nil, which for me is one of the hallmarks of wisdom. So, I guess I would choose your second option. This question goes back thousands of years. God asked Solomon what he wanted and S responded, "Wisdom." How can I, fool that I am, make a better choice than Solomon. TK {Wise, though I have neither the wealth nor the harem}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

why hard boiled eggs shells stick! Posted: 11/2/2009 10:04:50 PM
Molly Maude asked: now that we've chatted about and totally dissected ... HOW to BOIL an EGG to its natural conclusion... who wants to explain HOW to COOK CORN on the COB!!!??? probably as many variations! fill pot with water, bring to boil. Enter garden, pick corn, shuck. Place corn in pot, when water again boils, turn off heat, let stand for a few minutes. remove from pot, Enjoy! OR, in the case of color sensitive corns, such as Ruby Queen, where boiling would remove the red coloring, grill or oven roast in its suit until cooked (10-15 minutes at 450F). Corn like Ruby Queen stays sweet and red. Shuck, eat, enjoy! TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 291 (view)

Sensitive issues Posted: 11/2/2009 9:25:33 PM
barbee1970 wrote: Survivors have trust issues cause the ones they trust are the ones who often do the abuse. This girl trusted you and you want to drop her like a hot potato. I don't see how we can learn to trust when those we open up to want to stick it to us. barbee, get real, this young lady has deep seated problems that need to be addressed. She had sex with a fella the same day she met him. Her problem is not one of trust, it's one of boundaries and self respect. And just in case anyone wants to ream me a new one for what sounds like a blanket statement, let me reiterate: you meet a stranger, you have sex with stranger that day, you have issues. But in the case of the young lady, because of her back ground she probably has a bit deeper issues to deal with. I hope that she gets the help that she needs to deal with it. As for the OP, I don't have much kindness for him either. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 69 (view)

When we were young, things were pretty simple Posted: 11/2/2009 2:13:32 PM
Boop-Oop-A-Doop

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Introducing myself to a woman Posted: 11/2/2009 2:11:03 PM
abitmore wrote: DO NOT take her hand and kiss it what ever you do!!! Way too weird, esp in this day and age of heighten levels of PCism. IGNORE the above advise!!! But, when you do gallantly bend over, gently take hold of her hand and bring it to your lips for the courteous buss, give me a holler first - - This I gotta see. Dude, you're either well over a hundred years old or have been watching way too much historic fiction TV. Now, seriously, Do as the ladies suggest, and just greet her with a firm, respectful handshake. Save the kiss for later. TK {Me thinkith the gallant kiss of the hand only workith if yon lord wearith a feather in his hat and he dost doft it as he bows low} -- still something I want to see!

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 67 (view)

When we were young, things were pretty simple Posted: 11/2/2009 2:00:35 PM
artz: Those "crazy financial derivatives" were a response to the crazy political interference foisted upon the business community. Left wing agendas forcing lenders to loan money to folk who wouldn't otherwise qualify, creating huge amounts of indebtedness that was riskier than junk bonds and yet had less chance of return; with government controlled entities like fanny mae and freddie mac buying forcing this indebtedness on investment houses; the repeal of Glass-Steagall; and the subsequent monetization of all that housing debt into instruments that could be sold on the market. All of it a house of cards that needed but one small shift in the financial winds to bring it all down. Well, that shift came with a small, very small, contraction of the economy (not unexpected and part of the normal cycle) and it all fell to hell. So, yeah, I place the economic situation we are in right in the hands of politicians who think and act like they're some kind of gods. Government should only regulate to the extent that it equalizes opportunities ( a minimalistic regulation), not guarantee equality of outcomes (over regulation). No one is equal in results to anyone else. I also stand by my belief that a nation of 300 million decider's is preferable to a nation of one decider. People acting in their own self interest (I said self interest, not greed) tend to make, on average, smart decisions. Further, by eliminating the pain of failure we reduce the chance of success; if not through legislation, then the reduction of available capital as lenders become skittish to loan. TK {geepers, I had to go back 2.5 months to figure out what you got your panties up in a bunch over. Please, next time, give a reference, eh?}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 39 (view)

Why do men have to see you before trying to get to know you? Posted: 11/2/2009 10:44:43 AM
Loki-Sue: So, did you choose your screen name on purpose? You want to be known as Mischief Maker Sue, well you sure are on your way with this post. Any way, sue, I think you made the age old mistake, looking at men and thinking that if men were just a bit more like women we'd all be better off. Not gonna happen. do you really want a man that thinks and responds like you. Do you want a girl friend in bed with you or a MAN. And, yes, looks do fade, but there is so much more info about a woman available than just her looks. How does she dress, what's her activity level like, does she smile, take care of herself, is she feminine in her manner. All or none of these attributes may be important to a potential suitor. And, conversely, similar traits may apply for women checking men out. Men know what women want... we just don't care... When women know what men really want, then we might try caring.... m_church underscored this point this the above post. Instead of wanting men to be more like a woman, try looking at a potential date from the perspective of the man. What would I man desire, want, be attracted to or by. It is a two way street, and since you women seem to laud your ability to define relationship so well, be the grown up and show us the way. peppermint petunias brings up an interesting aspect of sexual attraction: Isn't it funny how the male sex of the animal world is so much more colorful and attention grabbing to the eye? Not only is the male (bird) often the showier of the two in order to attract a mate, he is also the showier to draw potential threats away from the female and their nest. So, the male attracts the female and also attracts the foe; an interesting combination of sexual display and sacrifice. Men Rock! TK {Fortunately, Humans have developed a different interaction, women are the showier sex (although there is a tribe in N. Africa where the men are the showier of the two -- wouldn't work for me, gots nothing to work with)}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

Sex Frequency compatability question Posted: 11/2/2009 10:19:44 AM
If she was getting it enough, she would have never mentioned her ex. Not necessarily.......mchurch said it was brought up in a discussion. If she had an issue with the frequency.......she had the perfect chance to say so when she was being honest about her ex. Discussions about the past are commonplace in relationships. Doesn't mean we want what we had........just means we are sharing our lives with each other. Right you are MsM! But at the same time this whole discussion of whether he is "doing" her enough could have been averted by his asking one simple question, " Hon, are you satisfied with our sex life?, With our frequency? with our fervor?" Any couple that is being intimate should be able to have that level of discussion without freaking out. And if her answer indicated that she desired more often then the couple could work on arrangements that would at times favor her desire and other times favor his desire (or, and this is a necessary factor for men, his ability to "rise" to the occasion.) Sheesh, it's as if the ability to communicate has gone the way of the dodo bird. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 59 (view)

Protection From Predators Posted: 11/1/2009 4:19:11 PM
If you would kindly go back and reread my earlier post I was speaking of two specific instances: situations in which sows were charging humans that were inadvertently startled. In both situations the humans only recourse was self preservation via firearms. In at least one of the incidents the initially attacked human was mauled to such an extent that there was question as to whether he would make it to the hospital or even live. I for one believe that back country hikers should be allowed to carry firearms, if for no other reason that defense against two legged predators. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 65 (view)

Unwanted Comments Posted: 11/1/2009 1:37:34 PM
annet19 wrote: Change your picture and show your pretty, modest self. Darlin', while I agree with annet19's thoughts, modesty is often a better way, if you can stomach the rude dispatches, use them as filter. Grunts that make such comments, whether in the initial or succeeding communications, can be ignored. Take care, TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 52 (view)

Protection From Predators Posted: 11/1/2009 1:01:01 PM
A charging Griz will go right through a cloud of repellent. A Sow with cubs is one of the most dangerous animals in the woods. And hikers / hunters can inadvertently startle a momma while just walking. Here in Montana there have been at least two griz killings this season with momma taken down by hand guns as hunters / hikers were out walking. In both situations, I believe (may have only been one) there were at least two folk walking together. Personally, I will take the side of the sentient being over the animal, particularly when the sentient being is merely defending itself. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 57 (view)

What is sexy about FAT??? Posted: 10/31/2009 4:42:08 PM
Ipostonforums asked: I'm going to answe your question with another question Why is thin sexy? Thin, as a goal, or as an end unto itself, is not so sexy. I have seen too many women with pipe cleaner arms and legs bolted to an emaciated body -- no muscle tone, just skin and bones. Basically, prepubescent waifs, not much good but to drape clothes on. But slender with defined muscle tone, a confident attitude from knowing their body is capable of performing as it was intended -- now that's something to get exited over. For me femininity comes not from all those bumps and curves but from mind set and attitude; female is as female does. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 126 (view)

Christian Men Posted: 10/30/2009 3:11:59 PM
Well, as a practicing (born of the spirit) Christian, I think these posts in this thread are another good reason to have (relatively) long dating/courtship periods. During which time each person gets to know the true character or the other. As one who is most comfortable viewing the beauty of sex from within a committed marital relationship, I am ashamed for those men and women who put Christian in their profile and then talk and act contrary to those norms recorded in scripture. I liken such behavior to that of the fig tree Jesus cursed. When He came upon the fig tree and it did not have the promise of the fruit it should have, He cursed it and it withered. Similarly, it should be for all those who wear the label of Christian: if you don't show the promise of your label nor bear the promised fruit then you too should wither. Otherwise you are being as a false prophet and leading others astray - and for that there is only eternal separation from God. MissM, I wonder why this is so important to you. You list yourself as non-christian, yet you spend a lot of time fretting over those who do not bear the fruit they promise. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 34 (view)

What is sexy about FAT??? Posted: 10/30/2009 2:51:06 PM
Magical Mary: I'm sorry in that I can't help you suss out an answer for why some men like women of size. The best I can come up with in my mind is that is goes to some event in their childhood about want v. need. Perhaps they see in a woman of size an expression of plenitude, much as some societies around the world see large women as representing wealth, or at least the opposite of poverty. (This goes also for the men). As others have said, it could arise to the level of a fetish, a large obese woman being necessary for arousal. Call me blind, but I don't see it. As for me I find excess adipose tissue to be a turn off. While my taste in women seems to be hardwired, I can verbalize why: since I've always had a struggle with my weight, I don't delight in seeing that condition in women. I find the feel, and appearance, of well defined muscles on a lithe woman to be pure ecstasy. And while my mates in my younger days were making cat calls at anything approaching Barbie, I was drooling over women of modest bustlines and slim hips. applesn2pie wrote: Laughing.... (never at someone) .... I was flipping thru the channels one night on directv. very late night.... I ran across this porn.... It was a huge/fat/giant lady and a guy, On the floor of some kitchen ... he was tossing flour on her and kneeding her fat like it was bread dough!!!! a2p, I know that episode, not from the actual film/video, but from a "documentary" that HBO did a while ago called, I think, Porn in the Valley. It was 6-8 1/2 hour shows looking at the production of porn, and its impact, in the immediate and greater society / region. While there were some salacious parts, the series on the whole was enlightening. Very eye opening. Most of the non-porn involved commentators were women. There were also several names I recognized which indicates how far into mainstream society porn has infiltrated. TK {did my bias come through?}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Unapproachable...? Posted: 10/30/2009 8:13:21 AM
body language. Work on it. Body language is so important with interpersonal communication. Especially in a place like a bar or other noisy environments where talk is difficult. Look in a full length mirror and have a woman with you that you trust and knows you from the trouble situations. TK {smile, relax, arms not crossed over chest but not dangling, open stance, etc. Eye contact but not staring/glaring, be aware of where you are looking. Distance is very important and will vary immensely from moment to moment, depending on the situation}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

When do you go for the BIG question? Posted: 10/30/2009 8:07:20 AM
Dude, First things first, try talking to her first; you know mano a mano (mano a womano? mano a fem?). Texting, email, it's all too dry, non-personal. Make it real. Have a conversation. As for timing, the last time I asked a WOMAN out on a date we'd already been out together a few times. TK {now THAT was putting the cart before the donkey}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Truck drivers Posted: 10/30/2009 7:57:33 AM
OP, are you talking about big rigs, semis, or pickup trucks. I can see the p'ups hanking, but the big rigs can't see you unless you're driving a rag top. So what is it. And does this only happen with trucks? Maybe you got a bumper sticker saying something like, "honk if you love your truck." TK {I like my truck}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

does he like me or just being friendly? Posted: 10/30/2009 7:46:44 AM
Oh, good grief, What is with all this game playing. Why is it that you females have this notion that it always has to be about you. You know, guys like a little stroking now and then, as well. Listen, darlin', if you are attracted to this fella, and you haven't seen any red flags in his behavior or language, and you have the time and energy to add another person into your personal space, GET THIS -->> Ask him out. Maybe he has the same reservations you do. Forget about his stones, things work out for you two, you'll get a chance later on to see if he has a pair. Jeepers, you female folk want equality, to be treated the same, but only on your terms, well step up to the plate and take a big swing. You might hit a home run. TK {What are you waiting for? A Sadie Hawkins dance?} Oh by the way, does he like me or just being friendly? Yes, I think he likes you; Now find out how much.

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 54 (view)

What's the RIGHT answer? Posted: 10/30/2009 7:31:50 AM
42? Sorry me leona, I'm being idiotic. It's from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... Now, now, FFS, if you're going to give out the right answer, you need to follow that with the best advice: NEVER FORGET YOUR TOWEL! TK {Always ready to go in case of Galactic Road Construction}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 48 (view)

Oral anal play? Posted: 10/30/2009 7:08:14 AM
The human mouth is pretty nasty too. After a shower with a soapy finger up the ass, I don't think it's that bad. Au contraire, mon ami, unless you're sticking your mouth into the sewer one's mouth doesn't harbor coliform bacteria, e. coli, or other micro-organisms that can make humans ill or dead. There is a reason we have sewer plants: removing these potentially deadly organisms from waste water protects the environment. What I find humorous about this thread is that while we spend billions removing these potentially deadly organisms from our waste water, you nut jobs circumvent the whole process and go directly to the source for your inoculations. Why we then turn around and provide you with clean drinking water and clean food is beyond me. And not to get too anal over this topic, but I'm still grossed out that there is a sub-population in this, or any society, that thinks sticking your tongue up another's anus is smart. No wonder we have diseases now days we haven't dealt with before. TK {ewwww; I'm starting to think that even air-kisses may be too intimate with certain folk; ewww}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Do you prefer a man who goes to the gym to enhance their sex life? Posted: 10/30/2009 6:51:57 AM
scd, I know what you mean, as a man our bodies are tuned to work better when we keep them well maintained. For me, if better sex was my goal, going to the gym would have been an exercise in futility. I went to the gym for me and my ego/self esteem/etc. But the one exercise that I found that worked the best, and this can be performed anywhere, is / was the ol' push away: you know, push away from the table, push away from the buffet, push away from the dessert cart, etc. I must admit, though, I have not done enough push aways in my life -- but my rep count is increasing. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How to get confidence to do that 1st date thing Posted: 10/28/2009 5:28:47 PM
I am 2 years separated and am having a major hassle getting myself to go on that 1st date g'day, luv: perhaps you are having a bit of a rough go of it only being separated. The psychological hurdle of cleaning up the past may be able to help you take the next step to meeting new men. Is there a reason that you're still just separated after two years. TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 50 (view)

Sex forums, missing from main page? Posted: 10/28/2009 5:19:45 PM
Sweetiepie, I too had that problem, adam forum interuptus

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

You thoughts please Posted: 10/28/2009 7:22:16 AM
God can be no one and have no impact in your life and quite the opposite, can be the creator of the universe, giver of all life and God cannot be both. Those are mutually exclusive extremes. You have to chose one. Careful how and what you chose. TK {I chose! He knocked, I answered. He chose!}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 27 (view)

Oral anal play? Posted: 10/28/2009 7:01:18 AM
I tried a little oral action in that area And to think that the "air kiss" was supposedly adopted so that women wouldn't muss their makeup. Me thinks I may have to adopt it . . . just in case. ewww TK {for once I've got an image in my head I'm TRYING to purge. TMI!}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Oral anal play? Posted: 10/27/2009 8:53:40 PM
MissMewsic wrote: No one's rectum is completely free of bacteria since fecal matter goes through it and the colon is directly attached to it. Your colon does not stop moving matter through to the rectum so you can do soapy enemas half the day and it's still a crap shoot.(pun intended) With enough anal stimulation, peristalsis can go into action in which the intestines start pushing the fecal matter into the rectum. Unless you've stopped eating 2 days ago and did a chlorine bleach enema, the azz can still have harmful bacteria that you can't see or smell, but it's there. Thank you Miss Mewsic. Watched Idiocracy tonight. Fella (Luke Wilson) hibernates for 500 years and wakes up as the smartest man in the world in a world populated with imbeciles. The premise of the movie is that the descent to stupidity would take 500 years; me thinks we might be there already. Folks, the anus is not a buffet. It's not even the buffet table. You want a treat shift your attention a few inches anteriorly. Trust me, you'll thank me later. The anus isn't even compost conduit, it a sewer pipe. I know some have needs to push boundaries, but this is one you can safely walk away from. TK {always surprised at what flits through the mind of man(kind). What surprised me most is that this thread was started by a WOMAN. Ladies, you're here to civilize us, not encourage our stupidity}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 31 (view)

Fetishes - Friend or Foe ? Posted: 10/27/2009 12:02:45 PM
Sunsational1 wrote: I think that if you are not comfortable with that, you should not do it. It should be pleasureable for both of you and if this would be a deal breaker, then adios..but if he can be happy without it, then you shouldn't feel guilty about it.. I would modify this thought to be more along the lines that a practice, whether it be a one off or infrequent, should not be painful, degrading, or intended to be so. Because there is a wide variation in sexual desires and delights, what one spouse finds arousing may not, always or rarely, arouse the other. But, so long as both are comfortable with their kink or not-kink then it should be on the table every once in a while. An example might be oral sex. Not all, men and women, are comfortable with oral-genital contact, but their spouse might really enjoy it. By making a wholesale ban on a harmless practice the relationship can be harmed. As for the fetish(ism). As some have correctly pointed out, if the object, body part, practice is needed (required) for arousal, then you have a fetish. I think that issue ought to be part of candid talks the couple should have early on in their relationship. Who knows, you might both have the same desire for liquid latex body suits. But, remember, leave air holes! TK

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Girl calls you cute... Posted: 10/26/2009 11:10:00 PM
DarkKent: it is a matter of perspective. At my age and with this mug, were I to hear, "well, aren't you a cute guy!" I would melt in to a thousand little puddles. I am so past the puppy dog stage. TK {more like a lazy old hound dawg}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Conversation and Relating to Women Posted: 10/26/2009 10:45:31 PM
ThievesInThe Night wrote: Is it normal to meet some people and have absolutely nothing to talk about with them? TK {I got nottin to say}

Tarnished_Knight

Joined: 3/5/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Oral anal play? Posted: 10/26/2009 10:40:17 PM
Darlin', and I hope you know I'm using this term of endearment loosely, is this something you do casually and often, like with all the guys you sleep with. do you understand the health risks you're putting yourself up against. Yeah, yeah, I know, you wash the area (right?) but you're not ridding the region of dangerous bacteria and viruses. Not to mention possible transference from you, the tonguer, to them, the tonguee. Gads, I hope you're not a social kisser. TK

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