Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Pot Roast in a Crock Pot - how can i get the beef tender?
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Pot Roast in a Crock Pot - how can i get the beef tender?
Posted: 5/24/2013 10:11:39 PM
arwen is the most correct of all the responses I've read.

The secret of a good pot roast is a cheap piece of meat (really, leave the better cuts for the grill) cooked for a long time to break down the connective tissue. Connective tissue starts breaking down around 200 degrees F, but you don't want to arrive at that temp too quickly.
Searing adds flavor.
Brining can add a "salty" flavor and can facilitate some tenderness and moistness as the process of brining (dry rub, etc) causes some denaturing of proteins in the outer layers of the meat (works best with birds) that facilitates entrapment of water.
slow roasting does not require a lot of starting liquid in the pot as the process of roasting in a sealed cooker adds liquid to the pot.
Add veggies about halfway through cooking - otherwise they get too mushy; add onions etc. first, then roots next, and softer veggies like taters last. Experiment to determine what you like.

I don't use a crockpot much - I much prefer to use my brassier with the lid on cooking at a low temp >300 for long periods. Even a brisket comes out tender and fall apart good.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Thunderstorms!
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:43:18 PM
Don't care for them myself.

From a distance, as in driving across southern NoDak and watching a squall line further to the south all lit up with lightning dancing down to the ground - that was an awesome display; but only from a distance.

Up close, t'storms set my teeth on edge. Got caught in one in VA back in the 70's and took shelter in a hardware store - a sudden down draft slammed into the store front sending shards of plate glass everywhere. People were walking around bleeding and some with glass still embedded.

No, I don't care for thunder storms at all.

TK
[Interesting that this thread is current - we are in the midst of a thunder storm right now, rolling thunder and the intermittent flash. Guess I'm not working in the garden today!]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
discovering my country side
Posted: 5/15/2013 9:35:33 PM
Welcome back, son, welcome back.

Some advice, don't put on airs. That is, don't set out to "live" some idealized "country life;" do what you like, find that which appeals to you, and don't go around trying to change others. We all live our country life the way we see fit. Yes there are some (OK, many) commonalities, but we are not cookie cutter personalities and our lives are not clones. Not all 'country folk' listen to country music and we don't all play banjos.
I live in the country 'cause I like space, good dirt, growing things, and I'm not psychologically adapted to the city.

TK
[full disclosure: I listen to country music, I have since Sonny James, and I have a 5 string - I made it back in '81]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Thoughts on Recent Pope-Parody News Story
Posted: 5/12/2013 1:09:24 PM
I believe that the point funnygirl_13 was making was that had these young ladies perpetrated this little scene in a nation that flies a banner with a crescent and star as elements being arrested would have been their least concern. We would have been reading about their rape, torture, and subsequent execution under sharia law.

Don't kid yourself about how restrictive is must be to live in a "Christian" society - there are far worse places here on earth.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 194 (view)
 
How impotant is oral sex the first time you sleep together?
Posted: 5/5/2013 2:45:33 PM
kajun19501 confessed:
At what point do I tell her my mouth and hands work but we will need toys or a strap on for full penetration. II have ED & BPH my equip is not going to provide penetration unless I have implants which is elective surgery. So how do I explain and not have them run. Do I put it in my profile??


Kajun, my sympathy, it's got to be difficult.
As has been related in other threads, the importance of penile penetration runs the gamut. For some women, as for some men, penile penetration is a requirement for "sex." For others, a nurturing, caring, involved relationship is the important component and the the couple is mature and capable enough to work through the difficulties and impossibilities. Some couples even learn to laugh about the cards they've been dealt. When you find a woman like that you shall be blessed.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Do you find virginity attractive or annoying?
Posted: 4/27/2013 2:46:52 PM
30 years ago a young lady of my age who was a virgin would have been one indication that her sexual mores and mine were more or less in alignment. It wouldn't have been the only consideration, but one of many.

Now, swinging away on what is probably becme the back nine of my life I would be troubled by a woman who was still a virgin. In fact, a woman close to my age who had never felt that urge to pair up and commit would give me great reason to pause. But, as it was 30 years ago, there are other considerations as well for a determination as to whether we are on the same page or not.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should you hold hands, flirt physcially, or kiss the first time you MEETUP?
Posted: 4/27/2013 2:37:47 PM
I'm, sort'a, with Stubidoo on this one: why do adults continue to go along with the charade that your first "date" is a meet up. Come on folks, we're adults, if you've spent some time getting to know one another on the site, emails, and hopefully a phone call or two, and you think there's enough attraction to get together for dinner or an activity, by gum call it a date and suck it up sufficiently to enjoy each other for a couple of hours. Now if the other has grossly misrepresented who there are, sure, leave; but outside of that it ain't gonna kill ya.

What would you do on a first date? What are you comfortable with?
Geez, this artificiality of online dating is going so far afield: The other person is not going to be perfect, you're going to find something to find fault with, get over it and realize this is just life.

Me? harmless flirting is my normal, even hand holding if there is a connection; but, I've got'ta be honest, I've never been comfortable with kissing on a first date.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Good laptop
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:23:06 PM
If you need to maximize your dollars go to a major manufacturer's web site and check out THEIR refurbished section. If they stand behind their refurbished units then go that route: you could finagle a 10-15% savings for something that is not the latest/greatest but is perfectly suitable today and the near term.

As for me, a good laptop for me is one that maximizes battery life. I need a full day's worth and most of the time the fastest CPU is not necessary - that's for the desktop. But, long battery life does not come cheap.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
windows 8
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:16:11 PM
Ms. K,

DO NOT install WinXP on your new computer. The headaches you have now will be minor compared to the aggravation you will face with that combination. If you are coping with the changes that MS wrought with Win8 I would recommend being content and waiting till Win8.1 is released (Blue). MS has heard users complaints and from what I've heard and read you may have the option of a more Win7 like UI with Win8.1 (Blue).
I do not have Win8 (other than betas) and was not too impressed with the UI changes. That was the main reason I chose not to upgrade. Personally I think the touch UI is fine for tablets and laptops, but my main computers are desktops I build myself and reaching across the desk to touch my clean screen does not fill me with joy. Additionally, I came across an interesting fact this week about touching a monitor. Namely, it is ill advised for some to be touching TVs or computer monitors due to the potential for static discharge or low current discharge. Dad is apparently getting a Ventricular Assist Device (VAD) sometime soon and one of the restrictions was no monitor touching. Would not have expected that.

TK
[not touchy-feely when it comes to desktops]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Arm candy
Posted: 4/19/2013 10:04:26 PM
Ah, shoot, I feel so stupid
I was thinking about that time at the county fair, all hot and sticky, ya know, and my then young son got his stick of cotton candy all over me.

Yeah, there I was with, literally, arm candy.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Cuddle vs. Snuggle
Posted: 4/17/2013 4:26:05 PM
Life is getting so damn complicated.
Personally -

I enjoy some serious snuggling while I cuddle.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 77 (view)
 
downgrading to lower education or profession on profile
Posted: 4/17/2013 1:35:47 PM

I dated a doctor last year, nice gal but our lives were so different. This is all psychological really, in societies views the man is suppose to be the bread winner in the family. One who makes more money, more education etc whatever. So when he comes across someone who's achieved more then they have, it's a feeling of inadiquacy in comparason. They will think by a certain level of career/professional , income bracket there will be a certain level of life style that they may not be able to compete with, or bring themselves up to. That one's standard will is not acheiveable make him feel inferrior and expendable.


OK, outside of the necessity for editing your remarks for content, spelling, grammar, and cogent thought, the overall gist of the above is naught but HOOIE.

Only a narcissistic insecure dolt would obsess over whether a woman has more education or is more accomplished. We all take different routes in life and ones particular path may have led him (or her) down a road in which financial or professional gain was not possible, yet provided a great benefit to his (or her) family specifically and society in general.
This is the problem with all the yapping about income disparity between men and women. Once you factor in the absence takes on the income potential of those parents who elect to raise their children (rather than shipping them off to a stranger) income differentials largely fade away.

Personally, I think in today's work environs the opportunities for dads to stay home and take on the primary nurturing role are just plain great. In an industrialized data centric society women can more than sufficiently being home the bacon as well an an equivalent man, and men can burn the bacon as well as any woman.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
WHO ELSE loves their Gerorge Foreman grill ... ??
Posted: 4/16/2013 9:36:20 PM

Either go propane / natural gas or get a Big Green Egg.*

Electric grills will do in a pinch but can never replace the real thing.

I use my BBQ 3-5 times a week, not only because I like to grill but because it is easier than cooking stove top or indoor grilling and much more versatile.


Also, skinless / boneless chicken = flavorless chicken, always cook with bone in and skin on for best flavor.


Count me in as a griller as well. I have a small lodge hibachi, large Weber gas, and my go to grill: a weber Q.
Started off with the original baby Q when they first came out and it is THE BEST small form factor grill out there. Good temp regulation, cast iron grate, easy clean up, and cooks and works like a charm. And, all the cooking byproducts stay outdoors, no aerosolized oils or smoke in the house.

I do marinate but I prefer good cuts of meat and dry rubs.

TK
[grillling at 100 above or 40 below - it's all good]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Women, would you date a guy who is impotent?
Posted: 4/15/2013 5:13:55 PM

If however, I was in a relationship with him and something happened to his libido I certainly wouldn't leave him over it.


Libido and ability to get or maintain an erection are not necessarily the same thing. While it is true that for some men the libido does flag, for others the mind and spirit are more than willing whilst the flag is not even at half mast. For some men the hydraulics just don't pressurize. It's sad and I feel for those men.
But, as the lady up above relates, ti does not have to be a death sentence for the sensual and erotic arts.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Viagra And Divorce: A link?
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:51:55 PM

The real reason a woman becomes uninterested in sex is because her man no longer thinks forplay [sic] is necessary.


How I wish this bold statement, made with no basis in fact, were a universal truth. Were it the truth, then in all such situations there would be a easily attainable resolution. The sad fact is that for some women, as with for some men, the desire for physical intimacy fades and no matter the desire from the other partner nor no matter the intensity of the argument, or even outside facilitation, libido doth not appear.

As for Viagra, or any of the other ED meds, these do not cause erections in men nor can they turn an undesirable situation into one more amenable for physical intimacy. If the man does not find his wife (partner) desirable, either due to his sexual preferences or her unwillingness to conjugate, all Viagra will provide is a headache, stuffy nose, or other associated malady. If the man does not have the desire the pill has not the remedy. Viagra is but a facilitator to the end, not the ultimate means. Even then, Viagra does not work for all men.
I'll say it again: if the man is not turned on the pill is worthless.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Relationships or Sex
Posted: 4/12/2013 9:38:14 PM
sleepless somniferously noted:
I'd rather have a relationship without sex than sex without a relationship.


Well, had the first; don't desire the second; believe I will hold out for both.
In the first, in a long term marriage (25+ years) physical affection faded away - three counselors, years of work, all to no avail, and in the end I felt more like one of her girl friends or a well trained pet retriever.
As for sex w/o a relationship, sounds like buying a pro - not something I ever even contemplated.

yeah, I wait for both.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 4/12/2013 9:25:29 PM
Since PoF is an anonymous site, albeit with photos (sometimes), honesty for me is a serious issue. Whether it is age, weight (body type), photos, etc., if your purpose is to enhance the image you create then a lie any where in there destroys what you hope to create. The way I see it, and have experienced, lies about little things, say age, indicate a predilection to lie about other things.

Later on, a question like, " does this dress make me look fat?" might be reason to dissemble a bit; but before you've even met?

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Relocating For The Over 45 Crowd.....
Posted: 4/11/2013 4:01:50 PM
I've been here for over a quarter century.
I've never lived in any place any where near that long before.
As I mention in my profile I have plans to return to my beloved Appalachians. My only hitch is not knowing when. Hopefully before I die.
There are places I would not move to. I've spent time in all the contiguous states and lived on both coasts, in Dixie and up north (where I was born).
Ya know, I would like to pick up a little bit of drawl again. Something about hearing a few y'alls every once in a while that's refreshing. And, while I wouldn't discriminate too drastically, I do have fond memories of southern ladies.

TK
[yeah, I'm a hillbilly, but sound like a midwesterner (unless I get flustered)]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 30 (view)
 
The Abs Diet by David Zinczenko
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:03:54 PM
Tah stated:
You don't lose belly fat imo, you lose body fat,


While technically correct, in reality the effect is that you do lose belly fat - first.
Belly fat, or visceral fat, the fat the lies under your abdominal muscles and surrounds your internal organs, is typically the most sensitive to changes in caloric intake and is typically the first fat to decrease - hence you belly can reduce quicker than other parts of your body.
So, while you cannot spot reduce, changing your diet so that your changing your body shape will look like you are only losing belly fat, spot reducing.
So combining a change in eating (a diet) with abdominal toning can achieve visible morphological changes relatively quickly.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I sometimes wear fake breasts
Posted: 4/8/2013 12:50:32 PM
Okay, I can honestly say, I did not see that confession coming. And, even then, I had to read it twice to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
Curiously, do yo wear your fake boobs under the latex cat suit? Dude?!

On the bright side, this only reinforces my amazement that humans are so varied. Odd, but varied. Wow!

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
meds when u r older & side effects
Posted: 4/7/2013 9:06:30 PM
THUS wrote Ms. Giggles: "-one point I had issues with my feet and they put me on all kinds of things and ends up not wearing flats but something with a bit of a heel corrected it; I also took a water bottle and froze it and would roll in under my foot back and forth until there wasn't any pain--I went from not being able to walk in the mornings (felt like someone was sticking pins in my feet) to not having a problem."

Giggles, you had plantar fasciitis, which occurs when the connective tissue from the heal to the ball of your foot becomes inflamed. A number of causes are implicated: over weight, arches, injury, etc. I would recommend, rather than the moderate heels, just good arch support prosthetic with a pair of comfy shoes. Never go without support (i.e., minimize bare feet walking) and learn how to properly stretch that part of your foot. Other than that, sounds like you've got the situation handled (or would that be foot-led). [yeah, I know, don't give up my day job.

TK
[PF sucks.]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Nappers
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:28:35 PM
Aw, hell,

this thread is making me tired.
TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is he uptight about sex?
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:20:47 PM
wolftxusa66 offered this response to the OP's problem:
If you're impatient, just lay naked on the bed with your legs apart a little while the lights are on. Tell him: "If you touch that switch, you won't touch this..."


Wolf, while I understand the rationale behind the offered solution, and truly I was thinking along the same lines myself, I'm afraid if the OP attempts this maneuver she may initiate a another issue centering on lover's ability to perform.
My personal thought is that lover boy is not comfortable with current situation and he is either ashamed of his body, her body, or perhaps he is dealing with a conflict between the current situation and some teaching from his youth. I'm not poo-poo'ing that earlier teaching, I'm saying it may be present. There is info missing here I think is pertinent.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Men over 50 and sex
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:13:49 PM
I think this is the first time I've said this, but, you really should have engaged in a bit of POF search: this one is moderately redundant.

Anyhoo, the sad truth is that men's plumbing wasn't really designed for frequent use post 50-60. Child bearing / procreation days are long past, if the man was still alive. With that said, a healthy life style that combines moderate with intermittent vigorous activity; a healthful diet; and a willing patient partner are critical elements.
The biggest factor that any man faces, all else remaining equal, is the size of the belly. The real killer to proper hydraulic performance is the amount of visceral (belly) fat a man carries around. Visceral fat is metabolically active: it releases compounds that interfere with the other compounds necessary to provide inflation; its presence has a direct correlation to blood pressure, of which too much for too long can have deleterious effects - not least is ineffective erections.

And, secondly, the ravages of age, whether we do all that we can to minimize those ravages, still take their toll. Testosterone decreases in the average man something like 4% per year after 40. Those cells responsible for T just get old. And utilization can decrease as well. From the perspective of this man - That SUCKS!

Any way, choose well.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Why do Men of a Certain Age HATE Facebook?
Posted: 4/7/2013 1:32:35 PM
I debated about whether to wade into this roiling pool; yeah, I think I lost the debate.

Women are more relational; men, eh, perhaps not so much (or at least not in the same way).
FB, by its very nature appeals to that relational nature for a lot of people. Yes, it does have other uses, but its purpose from the git-go was to provide a conduit for connection.
I, being the curmudgeon that I am, do not need that conduit for connection.
I, being the paranoid sob that I am, have problems with their definition of privacy. For FB to survive, grow, and prosper in a manner that profits its investors, has to minimize, if not totally throw out, most elements of privacy that Men (folk) of a certain age are accustomed to. I have no desire for personal info about me to voluntarily appear on the net; I have no desire for my image, or any facsimile there of, to appear on the net; I am a private person who shares who I am pretty much only face to face. What little digital interaction I take part in here is about as much as I wish.

FB, rather than connecting people, encourages distance. In addition to at least one example provided earlier, I have this one. I have a sister who once she got on FB thinks that her sum total of her outreach to family must occur through FB. I do not have a recollection of any communication with this sister over the past five + years since she became acquainted with FB other than a brief face to face last year. Despite numerous cards, etc., over the years naught has been returned. I can provide other examples were I of a mind to do so.
Such behavior is akin to parents driving around town with their child(ren) who have the idiotic notion that the person on the other end of the cell is more important than interaction with their offspring next to them.

Technology has its uses and benefits, but not when it comes at the sacrifice of what is important and necessary.

TK
[Yes, I have a FB account, several if that's important. I don't remember the last time I visited, er, connected]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 222 (view)
 
Are they really this active?
Posted: 4/6/2013 4:31:07 PM
4 points, I think:

1. I like food. I enjoy eating it, preparing it, sharing it. I enjoy food. But, in order for me to enjoy food even close to the level I desire, I have to stay active. I'm having a steak tonight. home grown taters and beans. side of mushrooms and onions. I went for a 5-6 mile power walk this afternoon (received a cold Montana rain baptism for my troubles, too - I'm still froze) with my eye on that prize.

2. I like slim, active, fit, toned women. While I suppose it is possible that such a dream would appreciate me as a roly poly blob, I think there is little hope of that ( and none in my experience) with the size of my wallet. If I'm going to attract that which is attractive to me I think I ought to present a similar package.

3. I like sex. I intend to actively participate in the romantic arts for as long as I possibly can. Being fit, low fat to muscle ratio, is the best guarantee that I accomplish that goal. Further, I've found, through personal experience, being larger (me or lover) interferes with my ability to perform, enjoy, participate in physical intimacy. Being fat sucks.

4. There are certain activities I enjoy, like growing the food I mentioned in item 1, that I find require and complement staying active and fit. While I've seen pudges working in their little postage stamp gardens (containers) my life revolves around an active life style.

You know, at our ages, most of us have had a hiccup or two in our health. I've had one major one that was a wake up call. Dad's going in for bypass surgery this month, and I don't want to be there in 20 years. I also imagine myself with a woman who makes me look like a slob (not a blob!). To that end being active is just one facet of a healthy life. There are no assurances: Lightning strikes the righteous and the evil, but all things being equal, I've got a better chance of achieving the above staying active.

TK
[dry and warmer - rain has stopped, guess I am grilling outside tonight]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Getting to know someone and seeing if you're 'sexually compatible' or 'teasing'???
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:07:53 PM
Kudos to Moonbeam, Giggles, and 'tunia.

I would not be involved in a hot makeout session with a woman I had only known for a few weeks. Personally, it sets up unreal expectations: I don't need nor want the aggravation or irritation of going "that far" with a woman only to have her disappear. And 'tunia, you're right, one does not have to go to intercourse or other sexually intimate activities to determine "sexual compatibility." This is why i prefer longer romances than quick 'let's get to the main course' bump and grinds. Sexual compatibility is about more than does tab M hit all the right spots in slot F. SC is about caring for the other person, having disagreements and learning how to deal with incompatibility.
One of my grievous complaints about opinions expressed on PoF is this mentality that if it ain't perfect from the get go it ain't worth working on. Frankly I'm not interested in that. I am experienced enough to have learned that compatibility comes through trial and error and there has never been nor will there ever be a perfect couple. There are only couples that have learned how to love and respect each other while learning how to deal with that which they don't like.

'tunia concludes with this line:
I think sex usually works itself out when you/they really care for someone as much as you/they care for themselves.
'tunia, if I could type and do cartwheels concurrently, I would. But rest assured, I'm smiling; I've finally read something that makes me think she gets it. Hosanna.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 83 (view)
 
What was dating like before cell phones and pagers?
Posted: 4/4/2013 10:27:10 PM
Letters. You know, taking pen to paper. Back in the day when a long distance call cost real money and a whole continent separated us letters back and forth were a god send. Even when we weren't separated by more than a a few streets a thank you card or a nothing note to keep the spider webs out'ta the mail box was joyful surprise.
We made plans and KEPT them.
I don't ever recall a coffee date to to see if there was any attraction. The women I 'dated' were women I had met living a life: in school, at work, other activities, and one lady in Seattle I met rowing on Lake Washington and another I met biking around Lake Washington.
While I've never been on a date with a lady from PoF, my impression is that it is so superficial: dating 30 years ago was more real. There wasn't a smorgasbord (buffet) of choices at your finger tips. You got to know someone,warts and all, before or during those dating days.
And as others have mentioned you, usually, had the undivided attention of your date. None of this constant interruption from inane calls or txts.

For better or worse, I'm still that guy. Yeah I have a cell, tracfone, but it's for my convenience not others. I still write letters, give my date my full focus, and make plans and keep 'em. I like that in a woman as well.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 198 (view)
 
INCREASED sex drive for women in their 40's
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:32:36 PM
ksayer,
I agree that sex drive in women often depends on more than physical foreplay.When son's mom and I married I set aside my professional ambitions so that son's mom could pursue hers unimpeded by the demands of wedded domesticity. As a division of labor goes, this was actually a division based on natural aptitude. Although son's mom and I had equivalent educational backgrounds and attainments, slugging it out in the professional trenches was something more desired by her than by me. This also fulfilled a strong passion for both of us that children be raised with a parent at home rather than by a familial stranger. Quaint notion, perhaps, but this did provide a nurturing and nourishing environment.

the long term upshot was that the time I desired to free up for son's mom to spend with me ended up being used for play time with her girl friends. Hence, marital counseling, etc. Would I repeat the decisions I made? In a heartbeat, but with provisions.

You know, we can always find reasons 20/20 for why a marriage fails. But the truth is that what mortally wounds one marriage is but a bump in the road for another. Another reader could very well look at the above and make the claim that I was insufficiently masculine in our marriage and therefore it was a fait accompli that son's mom fell out of love/lust with me. Perhaps I could have been, but we shall never know.

TK
[it is foolishness diagnosing w/o all the facts; and even then the margin of error only decreases a little]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 281 (view)
 
'Younger' older women. Why?
Posted: 3/15/2013 3:10:32 PM

There were also lot of wrinkles in that room for women in their early/mid 50's.


I, for one, am not afraid of not shy of wrinkles. A friend of son's mom is a lot like what Sunfire desribes w/o the ciggies. Her face is well lined and wrinkled and yet she is still quite attractive. I suppose it depends on from whence those lines and wrinkles come. Ciggy smokers tend to be wrinkled in ways that I find unattractive - though, it could be I just don't like the ciggies.

TK
[got a few lines of my own - from laughing, or course]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 198 (view)
 
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 3/15/2013 3:03:07 PM
A man does not have to be OLD to have issues with ED. If you describe your self as an extra few pounds and have ED lose the weight. If the hydraulics are suffering - can't get erect or can't stay erect, then you've probably got other bad stuff happening and shouldn't be putting all that effort in to sex. LOSE the weight. That belly protruding past the chest or sagging over the belt ain't doing you or anybody any favors. MOVE.

I've said it before and I'll said again, that big belly is from the visceral fat laid down all around your internal organs. It is metabolically active and if left alone will kill you or make you wish you were dead. MOVE it, LOSE it.

You might be surprised to findout what happens. Not only will your hypertension abate or disappear, so will you ability to breathe easier. You'll be able to enjoy the rigors of physical intimacy and go longer. You'll pee less at night, you'll sleep better. Likely your snoring will go away.
You know, I'm sure you could add a few reason of your own. (Oh, how 'bout this one: you could enjoy those grandbabies more!)

Anyway, not all ED is related to the belly. Men with diabetes have issues and it did not have to be from type II. Other physical ailments can also affect the hydraulics. Certain drugs. BUT, don't use those realities from the number one reality: Big Belly Disease.

TK
[yeah, I'm a little passionate about this one]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 195 (view)
 
INCREASED sex drive for women in their 40's
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:48:46 PM

I stand by response to all these threads........

a womans sex drive is directly related to the quality of sex she is getting!
The better she gets it....the more she will want it!!.


MsMicki,
While I wish I could completely agree with your assertion mine own experience informs me otherwise. Three counselors/therapists over 5-6 years with son's mom, when ever the issue of quality of sex was introduced, either in my presence or absence, son's mom always affirmed my skills as a good lover seeing to her pleasure and enjoyment always above my own. Yet, even though son's mom thought and affirmed her enjoyment of sex/physical intimacy her desire for the same was on an ever downward trend. There was nothing I could do, I could not force, and begging, besides being unseemly, would have cheapened the result for both.

So, while I in spirit agree with your statement/assertion, the realities say other wise. I'm sorry.

And this, of course, is not something a "Test drive" would have revealed. My assessment is that son's mom just got old before her time. Older parents, older sister: she thought and acted old. If anyone were to have a solution for those going through that type of disaster, I'm sure they would appreciate it.

TK
[I feel my age but I ain't no ways old. Yet]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
getting too hungry then bingeing
Posted: 3/14/2013 9:21:33 PM

Studies show that your body feels satisfied from eating based on the volume of food taken it. If you only eat calorie dense foods you'll feel hungry more often


I was actually going to categorically dispute this, then thought better. it is true for your average normal weight individual that a feeling of satiety is generated by a sensation of fullness. One well known exception is for some folk that sensation of fullness and hence satiety do not occur together. In those individuals eating continues until satiety hits by which time that individual has over eaten. For those individuals other cues are necessary to determine when to quit eating, or stuffing one's pie hole. Plate size, time limit, serious portion control. As one of those individuals it was a relief to learn why others would cease eating when I had hardly even started.
Second, while a feeling of satiety may signal upon fullness it is some of the more calorically dense foods that help to maintain that sense of satiety. Foods with a higher fat content are able to help folk curb the binging that can follow some meals, however large. Ever hear folk mention how they are hungry after eating chinese. Lots of veggies, little fat in some meals.

This is not a screed against veggies, nor a treatise to gorge on brownies, but a realistic approach is necessary to deal with over eating. The Ornish diet, while very beneficial for some is impractical for most, for that reason.

Fembiker, once you get used to it, exercising on a low calorie day isn't all that difficult. Save some calories for before the exercise: nuts, some fruit, etc. For me, my down days are exercising days as well. For me, I'll swim 2 - 4 K yards in the AM and then eat a 6 0z container of yogurt with granola and tea. Something reasonably light in the PM and I'm good to go. On my fasting day, I have tea. Not a big deal. Don't feel like fasting the whole day? Don't.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
getting too hungry then bingeing
Posted: 3/13/2013 9:20:52 PM
That diet is one of the few that actually has some research behind it, if not much long term experience. There are various names, but the basics remain fairly consistent: Eat as you would normally eat but on two non-consecutive days reduce your caloric consumption to 1/4 (approx 500 Kcal) of your normal amount, remembering to use healthy calories.
The idea is that by reducing the calorie intake one activates the SIRT1 gene without inducing the negatives of a long term fast. The more extreme of this diet is the UpDayDownDay program where you do this every other day.
The trick is, of course, limiting yourself on the days off to only a 1/4 of your normal intake (500 Kcals ain't much - a large bowl of oats with fruit easily tops 500).

About that eat anything you want on the Up Days: anything you want that you would normally healthfully eat. As with any diet you can sabotage this one with poor choices.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
getting too hungry then bingeing
Posted: 3/13/2013 3:33:33 PM

This is key. So is snacking in between meals, to keep your blood sugar level -- but snacks have to be small pieces of real food, and should be protein + carbs (if grains, whole grains, not white). A piece of string cheese and a small apple, or apple and peanut butter, or an ounce of nuts and half a banana.....you get the picture.

And do not eat after you finish dinner.


Found a new snack that, for a while, seems to work for me: (read about these recently) and recently picked up a bag from Costco - Potato Pops (a chip like thing - today's my fast day so i'm not going to even look at the bag for the proper name), which I then dip in hummus. My old favorites (pita chips) threw my will power out the window. Don't seem to have that problem with these popped potato chips. Yet! Maybe the lower fat content - don't know. Any-hoo, handful of nuts works, also.

My problem isn't usually binging, but portion control. I can eat like no one's business. Hence the weekly fasting: once a week I can remind and convince myself that I am in control, not the foods that I eat.

TK
[Aw, hell, who am I kidding - I lost that war years ago, now I'm just in the fight to win a skirmish or two]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 70 (view)
 
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 1:33:09 PM
The problem with this post is the nature of the question: "What is YOUR definition of sex?"
Of course, most are going to answer in such a manner that comports with their desires.
Me, I tend to look at this issue from the point of view of the woman I would be involved with: would this activity I'm engaging in be construed as "sex" by my partner were she to know about it.
This, of course, would let me off the hook were I to kiss my parents but get me in serious yak-squeeze were I to plant one on the attractive lady at the pool.
Analogously, instead of defining this for yourself, ask what behavior would you approve of your partner engaging in. In my world, intercourse is only a small portion of what I would classify as "sex." There is so much more and some of it doesn't even have to end in orgasm.

TK

I thought drink's posting at msg 62 insightful
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Can't imagine living with someone again after so long?
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:22:20 PM
What I remember the most in a quarter century plus marriage was in the latter days how irritated I got over seemingly little things as the marriage morphed into something that looked less like two lovers united and more like a couple of girl friends sharing the rent - Not what I envisioned when we started out in the late 70's. Don't get me wrong, there were good times and there were some great times - but I did not like what I saw in myself in those latter days when my stated needs were dismissed.
I don't want to relive those internal self images again.
And yet, I know the comfort of sharing a household with a lover, not for a night, not for a week, but for as far as we can see. Knowing that what was once a warm bed is going to be cold until the rift can be crossed, or closed; knowing that there is no other place to go, this is home and we have to work it out; being so use to each other that talk can be quiet, and silence a shared sense of profound well-being.

That a couple can find long term peace and comfort in a relationship that can span decades is a blessing. Though not for me (foolishingly I state this knowing that God laughs at man's plans) I can comprehend, if not understand, how that would work. At some point, a committed monogamous relationship, though not wholly under one roof must be more than a FWB or FB or ?? relationship. While I am admittedly comfortable with black and white, every once in a while shades of gray have their place.

I don't know what the future holds, other than the degrees of freedom diminish with each passing day, but I am ever hopeful.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Money vs Size, should men enlarge too!
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:35:44 PM
harspaw wrote:
Almost 30% of women today enlarge their beast...


Dude, I thought you were talking about MEN enlarging their beast, not women.

Oh, wait, did you forgot the 'r' and mean breast.
Oh, no, wait again, would that be only ONE breast? Naw, can't be, that would look ... interesting.
I'm so confused. perhaps I've read too much into the spelling.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Is he not into me?
Posted: 3/9/2013 9:37:11 PM
CelticGirl,

I'm in agreement with TheFuryan's first post: to wit,
Why is it that when a man tries to get physical with a woman "too soon", he's a "player" or only after sex? Yet, when a man is not "beating a woman's door" for sex then he's not into you? Believe it or not, some men actually understand the importance of building a good foundation which contributes to the overall health of the relationship. Things such as understanding, open communication, commitment, and emotional intimacy.

People really need to understand that sex is not primarily physical/physiological. Sex is emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical/physiological. To think otherwise is a lack of respect, understanding and knowledge of sex.


Additionally, in today's climate "seeing" someone for all of 8 weeks (really, TWO months) may constitute a "relationship" to some folk, but it may be possible that you're having company with a gentleman born back in the 50's. Some of us from that age grew up with and retained a different set of morals and a code of conduct apart from the jump in bed mentality that seems prevalent now days.
Further, in today's climate of easy offense and some women that scream assault/rape at the drop of a hat (no personal experience myself - it's a professional experience) it's a wonder that men don't present a contract specifying acceptable conduct at the outset of any "relationship."

As others have stated, talk to the fellow. Ask him where he sees your relationship going, have the discussion concerning matters of physical intimacy. I see no problem with a woman bringing up the issue first, in a delicate manner, and ask for his views. At his age ask about his physical health and his opinion regarding his ability to take matters to the next stage when it is important. Reassure him of your attraction, don't assume it is known.

AND THEN let him talk. If he is shy or bashful about the conversation he may need some prodding, but let him find the words and give him space to TALK.

TK
[from the lips (well, fingers) of a similarly reserved 50'ish man]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Married
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:46:59 PM
1388smartblonde advised:
Before you meet, get the guy's full name and phone number then GOOGLE him....also check the local court records and sex offender registry for restraining orders and outstanding warrants (saved my butt more than once)


Only if the woman proffers the same!

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Do you think the influence of income can change someone’s personality?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:43:49 PM

Say a wife or girlfriend was at an average income level for an area, then gets a huge raise that puts her in the 1%, wondering if you have seen a personality change.

Suddenly the person you that you knew and their personality have changed. Maybe became arrogant or self-righteous?


Seems to me that the influential issue here is not the money but the reason behind the extraordinary raise. Since a huge raise usually comes not from doing the same thing you were paid nominally for before but from an elevation in position with the associated increase in responsibility, etc.
The arrogant self-righteous attitude may stem more from personality changes resulting from change(s) in what she does at work rather than from the influx of extra bucks.

Money can cause a change in behavior for those whose character allows for that sort of change. Son's mom and I did not have that problem being grounded in character and spirit. When our "boat" came in, so to speak, it allowed us to be more generous in our giving, and relieving us of the worry of future insecurities. Were we to have won the lotto then, or I to win the lotto now, we/I would still be who we are/am. The options available would necessarily expand, some modifications of lifestyle may be necessary, but the character of who I am would not change.

Expand your thinking antecedent to the money and look to the cause.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Sex without tits!
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:16:55 PM
readbeforewriting posited:


She likely had ugly breasts and knew it.
Is this not the obvious answer?
What exactly are you confused about, OP?
Females show off their assets and conceal their flaws (if they have any sense at all).


Really?

OK, curious minds want to know, what exactly is an ugly breast?
Would it be a breast, or breasts, that are mangled? How about pointy, droopy, mismatched, uneven, small ... need I go on.

If the former, perhaps. If the latter, do you really think guys care if your breasts are not perfect. Well, not a sane man.
I've seen women who have naught but scar tissue where their breasts use to be - THAT I understand.

Me, I don't think I've ever seen a perfect breast, much less a pair of perfect breasts. I have my preferences, but that's all they are and my preferences oft times lose out to life.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 2/26/2013 1:57:28 PM
3ffervescent,

you are correct that, in general, weight is not the problem.
Son's mom was nigh on to 105 lbs at 5'4" when we married and although she came close a few times intercourse was enjoyable but no fireworks for her. She was orgasmic, but it took time.

My concern is that based on the OP's language that she has set herself up with a self fulfilling prophecy in that she admits she now goes into a sexual relationship with no expectation of orgasm (through intercourse). If this is the case then perhaps some therapy to cross that threshold or perhaps a toy or two may be in order to traverse the chasm.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
do you?dont you?
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:53:22 PM
Well, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen had no vacancies; so,
I would have to say I am in a league of my own.

I have broached the topic of expansion, but so far there have been no takers and so far no official plans.

TK
[I wonder if I could get something for the naming rights?]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Viagra and Cialis
Posted: 2/25/2013 3:07:07 PM

In the UK its free that is Cialis and viagra..


Dude,

it's not FREE, you're paying for it. It's coming out of your pocket whether or not you pass bills at the checkout stand or not. And because there then exists a humongous bureaucracy to ensure that you get your FREE viagra it actually costs more than it otherwise would. In addition, it you don't need it you are still paying for it because some schmo feels its his (or her) right to have something for FREE.

TK
[ TANSTAAFL ]
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Viagra and Cialis
Posted: 2/24/2013 9:42:12 PM
Karst,

glad you are off muscle relaxers, that had to be a bummer.

As for the ED drugs: they do not make you more sensitive - ED drugs are PDE-5 inhibitors. Without going into the biochemistry (I could, but it would bore the snot out of everyone, including me - just go online and do some reading) the ED drugs interfere with an enzymatic pathway that is antithetical to achieving and/or maintaining an erection. And yes, there are benefits for women, but not to the same extent as men achieve.

As to you salute to our neighbors to the north: you do understand that by denying the drug researchers/developers/manufacturers the right to the exclusive sale and distribution of the product they developed you may be dooming the development of other drugs down the line. Hence the value of a patent - the exclusive right to sell a product for a fixed term in exchange for the disclosure of the item: its manufacture, makeup, etc.

If governments are so willing to force companies to dump their product, in this case a particular drug, on the market place w/o allowing the company to make a profit to cover expenses and reward those backing the company I wonder how many orphan diseases are going to stay orphan, the next needed antibiotic undiscovered, etc. Actions have consequences. We take the profit motive away from drug companies you can salute Canada all you want as you lie in some cesspool of an clinic wishing someone would create the next big thing to get you back on your feet. Without that exclusivity, w/o that profit motive, ain't nothing getting done. Altruism only goes so far.

Anyway, glad your feeling better.
For now.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 344 (view)
 
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:25:47 PM
I'm out of practice fer sure, but I can assure you that for this ol' boy romance and courtship are still alive and kickin'. Just need someone to lavish then rusty roles on.

AND, Blonde_Angel, a lady makes me a sumptuous home cooked meal, I don't cough up 1/2 the grocery tab I grab the wash rag, if allowed. However, we might have to fight over who gets to cook, I'm no slouch in the kitchen either.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why can she Masturbate, and I can't in our relationship?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:17:29 PM
May I offer a possible alternative hypothesis for her otherwise hypocritical behavior.
Was she raised strict catholic, or otherwise strictly religious.

Scripture has two passages that refer to "the spilling of seed," in which the seed spiller was punished by God. It is from these two passages that many (Christian) faith groups derive their admonition against masturbation. However, in both cases the admonition against spilling seed is taken out of context. in the first the seed spiller was under an obligation to provide offspring for his dead brother and not wanting to do so he thus spilled his seed. And I'm drawing a blank on the second passage (my bad, and I don't want to go into a research project right now).

I don't know of any admonitions or references about or against masturbation for women (even with incorrect application) in scripture.

Just my thought.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Is the human body inherently obscene?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:07:36 PM
Well,

As one who believes wholeheartedly that some bodies are indeed obscene and should be covered to the nth degree,
it is also my belief that nudity, in of itself, is neither bad nor good; but, like many things in life has its appropriate time and place.

When son's mom and I raised junior we did not shy from nudity around the house: from showering/bathing or bathroom time. We did however make him understand that there are boundaries and that if someone wants privacy then privacy SHALL be granted. As he aged and he was no longer an infant/toddler this was reinforced in that bath time for mom was private time. His understanding of privacy came naturally and his own notion of personal privacy evolved over the years. My son does not think the human body is obscene.

As for the notion of displaying nudity willy-nilly, that is an idea I would oppose.

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 181 (view)
 
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:54:04 AM
Soloman, thank you for the wise counsel.
As one of those who not just prefers to wait but does indeed wait, your citations from empirical research warm the****es of my heart. As I have oft times stated, I want (need) to know a woman before I get to know her. This attitude of promiscuous permissive sex (oral, intercourse, etc.) has cheapened the very nature of the act that is able to reinforce the bonds between a committed man and woman. The fact that we can use a phrase like " putting out too soon," to describe physical intimacy ought to be sufficient to realize the paucity of feelings we ascribe to sex.

Not for me. Not before, not now, and not in my future.
If a woman rejects me because I don't abide by some artificial "3 date" rule, then I figure I have avoided at least one bona fide heartache.

TK
 
Show ALL Forums