Do I have grounds to hate my dad's wife? chat & forums.

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zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Do I have grounds to hate my dad's wife? Posted: 10/5/2009 10:35:32 PM
Having taken care of two elder members of my family--I feel for you--but look at it this way--this woman has signed up to look after your elderly dad. She makes him happy. This is no slight to your mother, whom he probably deeply loved, which is why he is so bereft now and needs this new relationship. Remember--while she is looking after him--you are free to lead your life. Did you stop having a love life when your mother died? No, you didn't. Cut him some slack. He is lonely, and life is short. Do you really want to be over at his place night after night, cooking him dinner, dressing him etc? You should bless her name and wish her well. If you want to take over his care and all it entails...go for it...but right now, I believe you should be falling on your knees grateful that someone else is willing to take on the burden. Having said that, I do not condemn you, wish you well. It is hard, our parents get old, stuff happens. But believe me, be grateful. Do you want to sign on for what she has signed on for? I don't think so. If she inherits something out of it, well, she probably deserves it. Unless you want to take over now and forever.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

how long to wait??????? Posted: 9/22/2009 5:52:38 PM
By all means, keep waiting! You have lots of time to kill, as a woman, with a biological clock, waiting for some guy who is not totally there for you. Wake up years later and find out you wasted your youth and looks on nothing. There are LOTS of lovely guys out there who would treat you like a queen. Why bother with them when you can get a loser like this guy? Who, believe me, if he does this to one woman--his wife--and possible children--the one he took vows with--will cheerfully do it to you if you hang around. You have already taught him that he can walk all over you. And her too! Another note: all you know for sure is what HE told you. He has an axe to grind. I advise you to invite her out for lunch or tea and hear her side of the story. Might be very enlightening.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

slow pokes Posted: 9/9/2009 4:58:18 PM
Possibility Number Two: You are being Back-Burnered. You are not on his A-List. He is keeping you warm in case his main squeeze flakes on him. Women do this too. If a guy isn't seeing you on Fri-Sat night, you are not on the A List. Cut him loose.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

slow pokes Posted: 9/9/2009 4:56:49 PM
Exactly right--if he is into you, will want to see you often. Weeks in between? Married, or in a relationship. Here is a good question to ask once someone contacts you, before you see them, even. (Statistical fact: 40% of the men on dating sites are either married or in a relationship--they are just "looking at what else is out there."). Question: Is there a woman in your life who thinks you are Her Man? This is a much better question than are you married or in a relationship because they can rationalize that they aren't, even if they are parked at her house every night watching her TV and eating her food. I just asked this question of a guy who had been emailing me and lo & behold! He was still seeing his ex, going on a trip with her to Portugal in fact--strictly platonic he said! Then lamented that he was not meeting any women in the year he had been online dating. Duh!

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Too old fashioned..? Posted: 6/22/2009 5:37:35 PM
A real man goes after what he wants. Women like this.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 186 (view)

Takes me for Pizza but his Kid to the Ritz Posted: 5/17/2009 7:37:18 PM
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Woman, get a hold of yourself. You really, surely, do not have to ask this question. To which you already know the answer, or you would not have had to post it. Guy is POISON.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Endless E-mails - Help! Posted: 5/4/2009 8:19:14 PM
I agree with all of the above--meet as soon as possible. Two reasons: chemistry is impossible to gauge without a face-to- face meeting. Secondly, if someone is not moving toward meeting, it means they are perfectly happy IMing or emailing forever--um, maybe most likely married or in a relationship with no intention of ever meeting.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Fishing daily for hours? Posted: 4/22/2009 9:50:21 PM
I am an art director/web designer, I am always on computer, ie always logged in one way or another. Instead of smoking or coffee breaks, since I do neither, I check the forums here and there throughout the day for edification, enlightenment, and amusement. Now how anyone KNOWS any particular person is "ON" POF for any amount of time, not sure. They may be signed in but away from their computer. I'd be worried about this guy stalking or monitoring the movements of another member.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Disclaimers Posted: 4/22/2009 9:34:03 PM
I am so bummed--where is the toilet picture??? Has it been removed?

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Can you help me?..I have a funny but weird story Posted: 4/17/2009 7:10:05 PM
ANY TIME online you have a story that doesn't match us, there is your answer right there. I am sorry but sounds like she is not available for some reson. Not saying she is a scammer, but surely not available to meet you, have a REAL, not virtual, relationship. If you are happy with an email buddy, well, OK with that. Go for it. Just take what you hear with a grain of salt.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Acceptable shortcomings in a potential mate Posted: 4/11/2009 5:18:01 PM
Um, none of the above. All deal breakers.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Why would he do this? Posted: 3/18/2009 9:05:03 PM
Stringing you along...you are not on his A List. You are being back-burnered. He has somebody else.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Why sabotage what was turning into something great? Posted: 3/6/2009 10:13:49 PM
I can sympathize with OP...in the recent past I have dated two different otherwise "perfect" matches for me guys--who were total packrats--it is a sickness...their places are toxic waste dumps, unbelievable amounts of fire hazardous stuff piled around--and these are educated high position people...here in Washington DC--this clutter mentality knows no social class. I do not think it is anal to want to live in cleanliness and order as opposed to piles of clutter. Just another reason why you want to see if the person you are dating is compatible, clutterwise--obviously OP's potential sweetie was not. Next!!

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

match.com - question about reaching an inactive member Posted: 2/21/2009 12:57:37 PM
Guess what, once you are ever on a dating site, you cannot get off. You can quit paying but they still display your profile, unless you actively disable it or hide it. She probably forgot to hide it before she left Match. You are probably out of luck here...sorry to say.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

The last turkey in the shop question Posted: 2/18/2009 5:51:58 PM
You can't hurry love, no, you just have to wait... (Diana Ross) AND you cannot win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. The odds are astronomical if you DO buy a ticket, but they are zero if you do not. The site is FREE, man! So what if you stay 6 months or longer?

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 105 (view)

What is the best way to handle it if a date passes gas? Posted: 2/18/2009 5:35:30 PM
Anybody remember this classic? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWe1KvHzVx4 Howard Stern replace the burps with farts in his version.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 104 (view)

I guess I just called my girlfriend fat Posted: 2/12/2009 9:37:21 PM
Is it just me...but what about all the fat, overweight, out of shape guys? In my age group...I am seeing a lot of guys who want "thin" (which I am) who are pot bellied couch potatoes, woefully out of shape. I say, more power to them, people in hell want ice water... but why is this thinness a one way street? Double standard, anyone?

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

Help, can't get my guy to cumm Posted: 2/5/2009 8:57:53 PM
Read the thread, nobody's mentioned it...he might be gay or bisexual. check it out. Make sure you are using condoms, ALL the time.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

So, what is the answer to what do you do? Posted: 2/4/2009 9:20:38 PM
I agree--he's obviously not a match. Date your peers, where it won't even come in question. What would you talk about with this dude anyway?

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Is He Into Me? Posted: 1/25/2009 9:48:39 PM
oohlala21, you are making a lot of excuses for his egregious behavior. Wake up and smell the coffee. There are guys madly in love with you right now that you are overlooking for this creep who kisses other people in front of you. How disrespectful is that, and you are tolerating it.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Not enough information Posted: 1/25/2009 9:36:56 PM
I have right now an email friend ONLY, never met him, who sends me political stuff on a topic I am interested in. He never emails me personally with personal stuff, it is always forwards or little essays he has written addressed to multiple people, not jsut me. In other words, I am on his "list." Fine. Happy to get it. I should be able to delete the bits I am NOT interested in. However, lately it has taken a creepy turn like our OP has experienced. If I delete anything he sends (I have seen it before, it is already in my files, I can tell from the title I have it already) he sends me immediately an accusatory email, "WHY did you delete my video (or whatever it was)?" We are both on AOL so he can check and see if received or deleted or whatever, just like here on POF. So today I wrote him back (being more than annoyed) saying as above--I have it already, don't be so paranoid. He got all huffy and said the "I have it already" is enough, you don't need to lecture me. I haven't written back, but excuse me, you send me unsolicited stuff and then take me to task for not reading it...for purely innocuous reasons...I am a total stranger to him and he feels he can monitor whether or not I read all his emails--many per day mind you. I am thinking we have a screw or two loose here and ready to block him, although I really do want to get the stuff he has that I want.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Disappearing acts Posted: 1/25/2009 9:17:34 PM
Welcome to the world of online dating, surely not for the faint of heart. Can be an adventure though, if you have perspective. Shri1 had the best advice of all--go back and read her points. She is a pragmatist. Don't sweat it, move on. Next! I have read though the thread and no one has commented on this obvious fact: according to statistics, at least 50% of the men on online dating sites are MARRIED or IN A RELATIONSHIP or otherwise unavailable. On this site, since it is free, it may even be 75% or more. They are doing their little fantasy thing online...while wifey is washing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, or watching TV, they are checking out the greener grass...they may even come out and meet you...but then they obviously cannot continue on.* I am convinced this explains the dating no-shows--that, and the fact that even if available they have lied about age, weight, height, or other things, so when push comes to shove, they don't show up. There are a goodly percentage in addition to that who only want to chat and IM and have no intention of ever meeting. So be selective. I find that asking point blank in an early email, "Are you married, in a relationship, otherwise unavailable?" generally elicits an honest answer, since nothing is invested yet. Good luck to you! *I used to be said wifey in the kitchen.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Creature Comforts ... Posted: 1/25/2009 9:00:31 PM
I have to agree with Wings. A guy that wants you, as a person, not just a booty call, regardless of age, will come to you. In fact, if you insist on that, you will weed out a lot of heartache and drama. You send the wrong (desperate) message when you go to him. I am not talking local, 10-20 mins to a mutual meeting place, that's OK, but you say an almost 2 hour drive. If all he wants is sex with an older woman (remember, we're special, we have nothing to prove and no agenda), HE needs to work for it. Remember, according to recent news, it's worth $4000 per hour. (Spitzer in NY). Why should you give it away free and not only that, pay for the gas? :) Depends on what you are looking for. If that floats your boat, go for it. Otherwise, be prudent and proceed with caution. As for the younger thing, in my recent dating experience even if you don't seek it out, the younger guys like us. And not just for the obvious. Relax and enjoy it I say, but DON'T drive to him, or pay for it. Just like with men our own age, let them do the pursuing.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Is He Into Me? Posted: 1/17/2009 12:53:38 PM
He is not into you. A man that wants you will leave you in no doubt. And why would you want a man who trats you the way this one does? Stop obsessing over this one and move on. Life is short and you are wasting your time. One year is long enough to waste.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

What would you do if... Posted: 1/13/2009 10:56:59 AM
There is one huge advantage no one has mentioned...you wouldn't be catching herpes, HIV/AIDS, HPV, gonorrhea, or any of the other STDs from them... On the other hand there is a news item on yahoo yesterday about a girl selling her virginity on eBay...the bids are way high now, almost up to a million. Google it.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Separated for years, but still living with the wife...What gives? Posted: 1/5/2009 7:51:27 PM
How do you know they have separate bedrooms? All you have is his word, unless you have been over there and met the two of them! In any case, separated = still married, regardless of where he sleeps.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Middle-Age Complacency Posted: 1/5/2009 12:44:32 PM
Older and wiser--that is the key. The older and uglier we get the more picky we are, that is certainly true. :) Otherwise in my own experience I have not met or dated any stodgy people. I don't even know any stodgy people, of any age, because I prefer to surround myself with optimistic "live wires" with something going for them. Positive, upbeat, cheerful folks. Maybe you are dating the wrong people!

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

No Concrete Plans for Second Date...? Posted: 1/5/2009 12:36:56 PM
I agree he might be married or in a relationship. The daily phone calls you should cut out at once. He is using you as an emotional prop of some sort. Don't make it so easy for him--offering to pay--that makes you looks pathetic and desperate and puts him in control--tell him no more email or phone calls--you will only talk in person. Then do it. You are wasting a lot of energy that could be better put into meeting more suitable people. There are a lot of guys who would jump at the chance to go out with you. Every day you waste on him is one more in which you are not meeting Mr. Right. He is not even Mr. Right Now.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Deal Breakers? Posted: 1/5/2009 12:30:48 PM
Deal breakers for me are smoking, alcoholism, drugs, addictions of any sort. None of those has anything to do with somebody being on a pedestal but with common sense. I don't want that sort of thing in my life, but if somebody else does, that is fine with me. To each his own. You have to figure out what kind of lifestyle you want to live. If you are allergic to cats or dogs or afraid of motorcycles or whatever your deal breaker is--why would you want to date and maybe fall in love with someone for whom these were a prerequisite to happiness? It is only logical.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Opinion needed!!! Posted: 1/4/2009 10:18:30 PM
Better safe than sorry. You should be enthusiastic about meeting him. Otherwise, why bother? Your time is valuable. In my experience, those who come on too strong so early without even meeting you in person...red flag.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Involved with a woman who is recently separated Posted: 1/2/2009 4:57:29 PM
DaveB hit the nail on the head. You just don't want to hear it. You are in major lust/infatuation--not love--after so short a time. So much drama, it is bound to be exciting. She & you against the world. After separation/divorce, NO ONE is normal and ready for a new thing for at least two years. And certainly not in the middle of explosive divorce proceedings. Dating, sure, but your mind is just not right. The first one after separation tends to be a big rebound situation. I have been there, done that. This is a turbulent situation, which could have really negative consequences to you. One questions what is attractive about her. With so many available baggage-free women around, what is attractive about this explosive situation? You have her side of the story, not his. Also, if he is so abusive, he may come gunning for your a**, once he finds out about you. Put yourself in his shoes. You are messing with, in his mind, his wife and his kids. Pick up your newspaper everyday and see in the murder stories how often this situation occurs. Yikes! What makes it worse is two young kids involved. I was a divorced mother. NO ONE met my kid until we had dated at least a year. The kids come first, once we have them, not our social and sexual lives. I question her instincts as a mother. She needs to be getting her act together before she brings in third parites and introduces him to her already traumatized little kids. She should not be dating, period, at all, till she settles her situation. Good luck, you are going to need it.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

How many dates have you had of the Internet and still remain single? Posted: 1/2/2009 4:39:13 PM
Not everybody wants to remarry...many especially those who have been in longterm marriages, have money, property, kids, grandkids...too complicated to remarry--just want a lovely person to share life with. So that would make them technically single, but not necessarily unsuccessful at online dating. Life and love are complex.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

second chances Posted: 1/2/2009 3:17:18 PM
Move on...but if you decide you want to meet him out of curiosity (bad idea) make HIM drive to you, someplace neutral near you. 45 minutes is a lot of gas to waste. If he is truly interested he will drive the distance. Why hand him a silver platter, no effort on his part? Let him get unhitched first too. Don't be surprised if he stands you up.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Here's my address, email me and we can share pictures . . Posted: 1/2/2009 2:51:21 PM
BEWARE of any who write you along the lines of, "Oh, I was so taken by your picture, I am a widower with a small child and please let's move over to yahoo where we can chat." Most of them have the word "God-fearing" somewhere in the profile. Sometimes they have a very handsome photo posted which is obviously something they snagged off a modeling site, ie, false photo. In fact, there is one photo in particular a lot of them use...under various screen names...every time I see it I laugh. Can't they come up with something new? Nigerian scammers, all of them. I hear from men friends that they get the same, only the scammers are Russian women. Their home address in the profile may say Idaho or Missouri but somehow they are always in Africa on business and haven't the slightest idea about Idaho or Missouri. Many times their profiles will be very articulate (and similar!), but when you email or IM them they can barely speak English. Where it says, ethnicity, they will often put "Native American" instead of Caucasian because they do not know what this means. Or they will say, brown eyes, but the eyes in the photo are blue. Email or IM two they will profess their undying love and devotion, number three email they need a loan desperately or want you to send them money for a ticket to meet you. Try it; you will see I am right. I report them all to the sys op who then removes their profile--I haven't been wrong yet. If they were legit, he would not remove them.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Men who respond and then leave you hanging, only to email you again??? Posted: 1/2/2009 2:40:24 PM
Have you ever heard of the concept, "backburnered?" He is seeing somebody, or in a relationship, or married, or otherwise occupied, but found you attractive and wants to keep you dangling till he sees if the current flame works out. I personally do not accept being backburnered. He did you a favor; now you can meet the love of your life.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Am I the only one a bit confused? Posted: 1/2/2009 2:28:53 PM
Great post, horses!

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 292 (view)

The Toilet seat thing!!! Posted: 1/2/2009 2:26:46 PM
Separate bathrooms is the answer to a LOT of things! You clean yours, he cleans his. Lid wherever you want it. Toothpaste splatters on mirrors, hair in the sink: bingo, no longer a problem. Now if we could figure out the thermostat thing. However for good feng shui the lid and seat should stay down when not in use (bringing luck into the house). The Asians think your good luck and health and wealth (chi) escape through open toilets. You can look it up. Not to mention as said earlier--when selling a house, the whole shebang should be always down. And doors to bathrooms closed, too.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth? Posted: 12/30/2008 6:45:11 PM
I think someone hit the nail squarely on the head--a goodly percentage of the men are married or in relationships, and just cruising to see what is out there. Wifey is in the kitchen washing the dishes after dinner; he is checking things out on his computer. In fact, advice for you ladies, ask them point blank in initial corespondence if they are married or otherwise taken--you will be astounded at those who answer yes! This also explains why so many are interested in chat only; never intend to meet. Or make date and never show up. I think the ratio therefore is not relevant to anything.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

I like you so much I can't sleep with you... Posted: 12/30/2008 6:27:14 PM
> Well, I don't know if ANYTHING she told you was true. All you have is her word for it. The whole story is very odd. Red flags everywhere. Good job to let it go. Why look for problems, which she clearly has, and who knows what kind of cooties now? I don't like people that say how honest they are and then everything they say is something that hurts you. That is not honest, it is cruel. I put myself in your shoes--if a guy told me this story and did this to me...I'd be long gone.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Reading too much into it? Posted: 12/28/2008 3:24:46 PM
I think she wants the painting. If you are an artist by profession, like me, let her BUY it from you if she wants it. If you were in a relationship you might consider giving it to her, but as it is your livelihood she should pay for it if she wants it. If you were a car dealer you wouldn't just give her a car. You might give her a professional discount perhaps...I don't know why as artists we are supposed to give our talent/time away. We have bills to pay like everybody else. But you do not know enough about why she is contacting you again to make a judgment. Like the folks say--birthday card, bottle of wine, enjoy the party. Don't mention the painting. Let her bring it up. If she is interested in you after all this time you will find that out very quickly.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

I'm confused about dates Posted: 12/28/2008 3:13:16 PM
Absolutely right to meet sooner rather than later. People can give great email & phone and then you meet in person and it is pleasant maybe, but attraction is zero or less than zero. The only way you can tell is in person. Also, it is perfectly possible to have a great hour or so with someone without wanting to spend the rest of your life with them--that is seldom and far between. Obviously be safe and all that but don't spend six weeks emailing and calling and wasting your time and theirs too.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Truthfulness on their status Posted: 12/7/2008 8:18:51 PM
PS: I hope you busted your married son good, and told him you would be giving all moral support to his wife and kids, who certainly need it. He needs a big shock. Let's hope this little Oedipus thing rocks him back into sensibility. My early 30's daughter and I, both online dating--have had a similarity (we look nothing alike) in that we have both had come-ons from the same 40 something guys in the same day! We had a good laugh. Yes, ladies, there are some guys who cut and paste and email the same identical words to dozens, maybe hundreds, of women at the same time. You can tell, just trust your gut. There are many good sincere guys out there. After a while, you can tell who they are. One thing for sure, they will not give you their yahoo address first off (Nigerian scammers) OR want you to visit their web cam.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Truthfulness on their status Posted: 12/7/2008 8:08:00 PM
Red Flags: 1. No photo. They don't want the boss, their wife, lover, parole officer, girlfriend, etc. to see them 2. Only want to IM, web cam, email forever, never want to meet. 3. Are temporarily in Africa working on some oil rig, while caring for an orphaned nephew... they are widowed and god-fearing 4. For the guys, subsitute they are Russian and have lots of needy relatives. Happy fishing folks, only keep your eyes wide open and trust your BS detector.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 123 (view)

Do good looking men and women truly get more dates Posted: 12/4/2008 7:09:45 PM
Oh, please. On the good looking people thing...they may get more dates, though I doubt it... but to boost everybody's spirits, there is hope for us all...all you have to do is go to any K-Mart or Walmart on the weekends and observe the folks who are married and seemingly happy: fat, average looking, busting out of their too tight plaid polyester pants, happy as clams. Loading up their carts with chips and dips. Looks may be useful initially but in the long run personality/compatibility wins out. I think. Note the number of gorgeous women who marry, well, not so cute guys, and vice versa. Sophia Loren, Carlo Ponti; Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley. And vice versa in real life--I know some gorgeous male models who have married very ordinary looking women, though they have their pick of airhead Paris Hilton lookalikes. As for getting more dates, the bottom line is, you don't need 300 "lookers". All you need is one buyer.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

The age of 50 watershed for dating. Posted: 11/29/2008 6:03:04 PM
Veronica--assumptions, indeed--in my view, more women keep themselves in shape than men, over 40...yet the men will state they want "a good body" when they themselves are 50 lbs overweight!

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Personal Info Posted: 11/26/2008 8:30:56 PM
Keep in mind all that a first & last name...plus certain other personal stuff...enables a Google search which can turn up all sorts of things you may not want out there, like a video of your front door and what you last bought on ebay. How much you donated in the last election to certain candidates; the amount of your mortgage; a satellite picture of your residence with directions, your home phone number, any legal actions against you; so on and so on. Having said that I think online is much safer than meeting someone in a bar; however, we need to use common sense.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 736 (view)

Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 11/26/2008 8:22:06 PM
The problem is with the initial question, Why do some women date multiple guys at once? In my experience, offline and on, ALL GUYS date multiple women at once. This is normal. No one, male or female, should close down all their options until they have heard the magic words, "Let's be exclusive." Life is short. The whole purpose of dating is to find that someone that will make all the others seem like so much chaff. And who feels the same way about you. We take vows of faithfulness when we marry, get engaged, get committed. Until then, everyone is a free agent. Just because A has coffee with B does not mean A should now sit home and wait and turn down all others until B gets up off his/her duff.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 351 (view)

Dating a Smoker Posted: 11/12/2008 8:33:17 PM
Deal breaker for me--many lie on their profiles ("trying to quit") because they know no one will date them if they are a smoker...I say, if you smoke, be honest, and date other smokers. I like many am allergic. I don't want to be laid up for 6 weeks with a sinus infection no matter how cute, funny, charming, your basic smoker seems to be. It is a lifestyle I do not wish to embrace.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

so.... the WIFE called me Posted: 11/12/2008 12:14:59 PM
I did not get a phone call from a wife but got an email...she was informing all the women whose emails she found that her husband was very much married to her...I had to laugh since she also said to have a look at his Match.com profile--she had gotten in there and changed his profile to read "I like long walks on the beach plus I am a lying rotten dirty MARRIED scoundrel..." etc etc. She said he hadn't noticed it yet--who reads their own profile very often? Felt sorry for her and thought he deserved it. Nowadays I flat out ask anyone who emails me, early on, if they are married or in a relationship. If you ask them point blank they will usually 'fess up. Ladies, there are a LOT of mrried men on here, just cruising. Be careful.

zermatt

Joined: 1/8/2006

Msg: 207 (view)

are women willing to look past a mans flawed teeth. Posted: 11/4/2008 3:44:47 PM
NO NO a thousand times NO....I am a dental hygienist. How about you? Would you want to kiss someone with rotten, snaggled teeth?? I think not! Teeth are an indicator of how a person takes care of their body and general health. It is not superficial to reject horrible mouth odor from decayed teeth/periodontal disease. Modern dentistry is a wonderful thing. Get your teeth fixed instead of spending it on cars, sound systems, etc. It will help you in business and your social life too--people with nice teeth smile more often and the whole world treats them better. If you are in sales or front office, you cannot have missing, decayed, nasty teeth. Your career will never advance. Not to mention youlr dating possibilities. This is like asking if women will overlook BO and bad hygiene. Sheesh.

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