If you knew you were dying - Would you have a BUCKET List? chat & forums.

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SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

If you knew you were dying - Would you have a BUCKET List? Posted: 2/26/2009 8:58:30 PM
Im an AIDS Buddy and I normally ASK is there anything they need my help with to achieve their goals. Networking is impairative in situations such as these to achieve all they want to do. Your friend needs a sounding board during this angry period and will need it again when the anger passes and needs to feel normal at times. Sooner or later all my buddies figured that they were lucky knowing each day and moments were to make memories on. Hopefully we all learn this lesson knowing there are a lot of big buses running around. To answer your question whether I would have a list or not, well, given the gift of many last breaths, my list consists of one thing. NO IF ONLY"S.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'? Posted: 2/10/2009 10:33:53 AM
Being a daughter, mother, ex wife and an AIDS Buddy, you have to be a giver, YET, a few years ago I was sooooo sick, and nearly died in the middle of winter on my balcony when my lungs colasped. Lying on the cement trying to catch my breath, I kept thinking, where are all the ones I helped? How come no one has called to check up on me when they havent seen me around? Where's my home made chicken soup? Most important, I thought, man oh man, its winter, no one will find me until spring thaw when I start smelling up the place. lol. Im still a giver but selective of my time. I've learned to be a taker and be gratefull for the time and or help. I've learned that in any relationship, if one is only the giver, it rarely works out. Someone is going without. I beleive I've found the balance

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

On a different note... Posted: 2/10/2009 10:24:14 AM
I agree with Miss Alison somewhat since in any business arrangement, both parties gets what they want to make it a great business deal. I think the same should be said for any relationship. When it comes to money, its a stressfull thing when one saves and the other spends. Its a deal breaker for me at this point. When the years pass and your no further ahead or secure where you feel comfortable, well, its the start of the end. Wait darlin for the right business partner, aka relationship. Your be glad you did.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Have you ever met any famous people ??? Posted: 2/10/2009 10:10:05 AM
My Aunt worked at MGM Studios so there is an amazing amount of people I hung out with and met in her back yard. I sang back in the 60's and 70's so I met many while in studios over the years, filling in a voice or two. I also worked helping groups to figure out how their sets should be sung, start to finish and also worked with them on albums doing the same thing. Met, Toronto Argo from next door neighbour. Did some charity work involving them as well. My friend dated the linemen from the Maple Leafs. What a charactor and funny, man he was funny. His book is a hoot from start to finish. My brother worked at the King Edward Hotel in Toronto so I was invited to many parties there with film and music people I have friends in the film business as well. Im having a hard time name dropping. Sorry about that, just habit of privacy I guess.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

What is your mentality towards a relationship? Posted: 2/5/2008 12:06:55 AM
Relationship is the key word here. You treat them differently than say an aquaintence. In any relationship, the only requirement I looked for was honesty when they feel they could be vulnerable with me and manners was a must which ties in with respect if I myself have earned it. When it comes to a committed relationship with one man only, my expectations were nil. I never met anyone with the intent of getting involved but to get to know someone better once an exchange of letters takes place. When meeting, I was curteous, hopefully easy to talk to and most deffinately tried to have humour that went along with the coffee. I met someone for coffee without any expectation at all, talked and laughed for three hours, met the next night for coffee and continued laughing, a week later still laughing and I knew that I liked this man. That was Oct 1st and we are still laughing, are committed to each other only without any regrets. I waited ten years to feel this way, didnt want to settle, didnt have to since I like myself enough to enjoy the company of a mirror to talk to when I feel alone and lots of friends surrounding me when I was lonely. So mentally to answer your question, I feel I have a healthy outlook and expectation not on others but of myself. Good luck with your search.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Accomplishments. Posted: 2/4/2008 8:50:33 PM
Goodness gracious. Nice post. I have always maintained that my biggest accomplishment was being a good example for my son. Hard to do at times but seeing him a grown man being a good example himself was well worth it. Im proud of myself that I took the hard road to become an AIDS Buddy when it wasnt fashionable to be one. I had people leave a table when I joined them, was alienated for years but had to do what had to be done because this was far bigger than I ever was. Hard but rewarding now that education is now in the schools and most of all because of having a death room in my home (hospitals were not allowed to have any with HIV or AIDS even sit in case they died there, so I got a phone call to transport them to my home for them to die in peace there) Dead man walking has a whole knew meaning for me now. But by my son witnessing these things in our home, he is still safe and has more compassion than most adults I know. That was an accomplishment. Im proud that I dont laugh at racist jokes, regardless of how funny it is. Never keep words out there, make a comment to those who do regardless of the ramifications of doing so so they can keep face with their buddies. When asked what a persons like, skin colour, religion and creed is not something that describes them. What a person is like is all on charactor not the surface stuff. I didnt realize that I did this until someone mentioned that so and so was ............ Why didnt you tell me? Why, would it have made a difference in the discription of what this person cares about, what they have a passion for or how generous they are? Once of my big accomplishments has been deciding regarless of what business I start, it will be done with ethics and morals without hurting anyone, cheating anyone and having a healthy outlook that a good deal is a win win situation. That was hard at times but did it even though I may have lost a few deals. My daily accomplishment is the hardest one. Finding joy each day even in the small things. Smiling at a ray of sun through the clouds, kissing the cheek of the elderly just to have them feel something, paying attention to those around me who may need a verble hug and give one freely. Smiling even when its hard to do so. GOOD MAN, yes!!!!!!! Achieving one goal will lead to as many as you set for yourself. If its' hard to achieve, your adding charactor in how you react to it all. Thats what makes you different from the rest. Achieve it with dignity, courage, persistance and morally, its even better. Once your settled, then do something thats bigger than yourself, unconditionally. We all have to do the paybacks in your community, society and globally. Good luck my friend even though it appears you wont need it. Man oh man, this is a great post. Its like my favorite saying in the whole world. Become the teacher, teaching the teacher to teach. Thats the ability that this post has. Positive reinforcement to become someone's teacher to teach others to teach. Nicely done.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 542 (view)

Where did you go to high school? Posted: 2/4/2008 8:39:06 PM
Bickford High School, Toronto Centreal High School, Toronto Hey give me a note. Love to talk to my class mates.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

How do people feel about this Valentine's Day? Posted: 2/4/2008 8:36:44 PM
I just had a conversation about this day to the fella Im committed to. I told him that I really dont want to head to a resturant (we both are people watchers) to see the majority of the females hitting the arm and being cross with their fellas since they didnt get one of those roses that the lady makes you feel guilt into buying. Or hearing the bickering of why they are not being romantic etc. Waste of my time. Dozens of roses? Are you kidding. Its a small morgage now. One will do for me if your inclined. Or not. It wont hurt my feelings. Candy? Not a sugar person so your safe there as well. Told this fella of mine that everyday is valentines day for me when; He takes a brush and brushes this hair without me asking just because he knows I like it. He runs a bath and tells me when its ready when he see's Im stressed. I catch him staring at me, he smiles and asks how he got so lucky. He caresses my face just to see if Im real. lol. thats too funny at times mind you. Never forgets to grab my hand either in the car , shopping for groceries or when walking the dog. Buys me Haug and Daus Coffee Ice cream, even though it takes forever to get through a container with two teaspoons at a time. Just wants me to have it there when I feel like it. Overhearing him tell his brother that he found a gem that even their mother would like. Told me that our two moms are sitting having crumpets and tea up there giggling, saying, "Wonder what they are going to laugh about next?" Never forgets the straw with my timmies coffee, well rarely forgets but runs back in for one even though I say its okay not to. He's one to actually grab and hold you when you find a good friend is dead. Never gives up until Im ready to pull away. Been in the business of death for over twenty years and this is the first time this has happened. Who takes care of the Caregiver? He does. Makes me feel so desirable, who can ever say no when it comes to that certain look from across the room saying I want you right now but means Im going to take my time with you just to watch your face. Erotic as all,.....well you know. Valentines Day? One day a year is for most of those fellas who do nothing and has to have this one day to make up for it all. I'll take the daily stuff any day verses the one day. With all that said, Im hoping that all you ladies and gentlemen feel as loved as I do if even for a day or year round. Happy Valentines Day.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Completely LOST! Posted: 1/16/2008 10:44:38 PM
I personally dont beleive that you should have to guess at what you've done or havent done. Communication is the key to all good relationships whether a personal one or a business one, with immediate family or with friends. I raised my son not to play the guess game. Tell her either tell him whats bother you or let go because he is. I also told him not to choose when she makes him. If she makes you choose the choice is made. Once done either with guessing or having to choose, you have to do it all the time. Make that a deal breaker and communicate that very clear. Men or woman!

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

A fascinating concept of love Posted: 1/16/2008 10:24:55 PM
LOVE in the dictionary,...a deep affection for; Therefor its easy enough to love, its easy enough to be loved in return. What isnt the easy part is the for the mass majority to understand and use this meaning without a committment. One can love pizza or chinese food but your not going to fornicate with it so why does it have to happen when the word love comes into play? Love being a gift is just that. Someone has earned the heart to receive this gift. Why not tell someone you gave a shirt to, when and how to wash it? Its a gift. Once given, its not in your hands but.....you still enjoyed the giving of it. Love being a gift is the same. When one enters a relationship, committed or otherwise, its a sort of contract between two people. All issues hopefully have been sorted out, what is expected, what is not, what the deal breakers are etc. Love is a gift therefor it should be given unconditionally but really once those other items comes into play the conditions are there. Once together in a committed relationship, changes shouldnt be put to the test. That should have been ironed out before hand. If he/she cant change, they are not the dealbreaker, you are for trying in the first place. If an arguement or disagreement occures, whats the point of trying to be right? Its more of a point for a win win situation to make both parties happy or what they can live with. Love, ahhhhh, what a gift even without a return. A committment again, what a gift but it still has to be nourished, cared for and highly respected. All in each other way of showing it. Good luck to you all and dream nice. I think I'll end this session here and wake up one to show how I have a deep affection for him. lol. then he will dream nice regarless if I do or not. lol

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

All I want for Christmas is................ Posted: 12/9/2007 10:18:07 PM
More of the same. Im happy, even content, loved and have loved well in return, my son is great, my dog is great and the men in my life have been great, well most of them at any rate. What I want for xmas is more people to invest in kiva. ca. Normally I feed the homeless, buying lots of food, cooking it, then walking around with invitiations for dinner at my place. Been doing this since I was a child but...this year, I've send gift certificates to my son and a few others with amounts of dollars that they can choose to help someone in a third world country to start a business. example, 25, dollars can buy a cow, goat or what ever to help a family start a business to feed their families or to make some extra money so their kids can attend school. So, what I want is for more people to do the same. Make a loan to someone who needs it to change their lives, then reivest it when its paid back. Merry Christmas Everyone. hugs and kisses.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Bored with your city? Posted: 11/11/2007 12:53:03 AM
Hi Darlin. Sorry to hear how bored you are. I grew up in Toronto and understand the lure your feeling. Chicago? Again, I understand the lure. Lived in Wasaga Beach for a time and found that charming, beach in the summer, mountains in the winter and fires burining all seasons. Hey, even found Vietnam entertaining. Lots of smells, lots of people, tons of bikes everywhere and the best food ever. Okay, the Red Sea beaches smelled like crab crap but hey, you cant have everything. Maybe its time for you to travel around a lot in the next few months. Hopefully your taste for home will be inviting again. Hey, for christmas would you like to help me cook for the homeless and have them over for dinner? Last year I had about twenty people show up. Now theres an adventure for you. Later a midnight walk stopping at the timmies to warm up before heading for home. Yep. Life is still good no matter where I am.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Does insecurity [or insecurities] translates to jealousy and vice versa? Posted: 10/29/2007 9:24:55 PM
Jealousy is in the fear band. Fear of losing something which can be linked to insecurities for the same reasons. There are some who feel that being jealous is a sign of love yet for me, if I have to justify others actions as well as my own, man oh man, get me out of there fast. Either I trust you or dont. Either you trust me or you dont. I know what I give and I should know you just as well. Talking to a girl is just that, kissing hello and goodbye is courtesy for me being European, kissing someone on the neck on a dance floor, well, just wouldnt happen. thats crossing the line. But, living in fear is not where I want to be and wont. It ends really quick if jealousy pops up.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

How much is too much? Posted: 10/24/2007 1:08:12 PM
5,6 and 8, Im in full agreement and asked myself the same questions once I read the post. Is this man bragging in a covert way? Probably. Even had a good laugh at it. Now you number seven, you made me snort coffee through my nose. How funny are you. Nicely done. Now pertaining to you question the writer of the post, well, what is too much depends on whats relivant. Is twice daily good enough, sure is to the ones who get it once a month or yearly but.........if you were a street fornication seller, well, your eating cheap tuna without the mayo and need to get back out there for the bread or pita to go along with it. LOL> Your way to funny for someone who dramatizes his own self worth.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Love: Something that happens to you, or something you do? Posted: 10/24/2007 12:57:19 PM
I again have to agree with the two above me yet the one who challenges my statement has his own points as well. Of course there are different kinds of love and I realize that lecturing on that subject for over twenty years but.......the writer of this post was talking of one kind. Again, if we were all blind, how does the attraction abtain itself into something more? That is the only question that is valid to me. So I maintain that charactor, empathy, a deep friendship of trust is the beginning key. Now for the writer of this post, there is something missing from the elements of her relationship that she happens to need. If thats the case which I can speculate strongly on, then she does have a decision to make. Which will be hers alone without all of our help but the post was a good one. With that said, Im attracted to many people in the past few years but did I act on it into intimacy?: No. Did I have a true affection for them? Yes. So what was it about one fella, who I had no intentions to get involved with but have? I know that he made me laugh, all the time regardless of how I was feeling, I know that he truly listened and responded to what I was saying and somehow, regardless of how I look, he makes me feel absolutely beautifull. Not occasionally, all the time. Is that love? According to this racing heart, the anticipation of hearing his voice on the the phone and the overwelming joy I feel while in his presense, I would say yes? Will we marry, or commit to each other exclusively, dont know. Time will tell regardless if the word love is thrown in there or not. With or without a committment, its a joy to share his space at this moment without any expectations on both of our parts. I feel the same for friends of many years, I just dont have sex with them. I love chinese food too but never made a special date with candles and bath with that dish either. lol. too funny. Bottom line, love is love and its all good.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

how much self expression is acceptable in online dating Posted: 10/24/2007 3:19:13 AM
Self expression is the same as off of a site. Lets face it, in a bank line when told I smell good I dont tell them where I bought the scent, how much it cost etc. I thank them and decide if I want to ask another question to carry on the conversation which may or may not lead to an exchange of numbers. As I state on my profile I do like this medium before moving onto another so quickly for the main reason of getting to know someone before moving forward as in any situation off of a site. As for the percentages of who is lookin g for miss perfect or soul mate, or white knight, its a high number, I did a study almost twenty years ago and found that there is only two percent of the population that actually knows what they want. No, dont write me about it, those were the numbers from the study, not my own guess but it makes sense when you think about it. Example, someone who drinks looks for someone to drink with them, their mate is looking for someone to care for and the dynamic changes when AA is involved. An angry person looks for a sparring partner to motivate that spark. Again makes sense whether its our thing or not. Disclosing information on here is the only way to find what we can tolerate in a relationship before any meeting takes place. so........open up become vulnerable, allowing the other party to do the same then decide if a meeting is going to take place or your pen pals. Thats okay too;

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Love: Something that happens to you, or something you do? Posted: 10/24/2007 3:00:44 AM
Awww, the love word scares so many yet its meaning is, :a deep affection for; which takes a bit of work achieving the goal to love in the first place. I have to disagree with some of the above writers that attraction is a part of the process. Because love has no sexuality, its a given not with looks but with the charactor and spirit of a person. Lets face it, if blind, we all would be judging on charactor. The question is not how they look but how you feel around them. I've been loved and have loved well in return and continue to do so with the intention to achieve it. Regardless if its a committed relationship or a casual one, love is love, regardless of where it ends up. In my twenties I've learned that even if I made it to sixty five years, in days its only 25550 days and thats if I didnt get hit by a big bus before hand. Deciding never to procrastinate, I've learned to love freely openly and willingly. Intimacy is a whole other subject yet when I love, the intimacy follows, empathy or understanding was always the start. Life is good. Love is good. Sharing it all is even better.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 144 (view)

Is red hot romance possible after 50? Posted: 10/24/2007 2:39:12 AM
Man oh Man. I just turned fifty two and tonight I danced in high heels to the blues, feeling pretty dam good about myself. Romance:? sure Lovers? deffinately Pumping hearts? Amoung other things. Yes its possible, it happens every day, every moment at every opportunity that one reaches for it. Get out there, smile and for gripes sake, stop talking about it, pondering about it and just go for it. Okay, okay, I danced alone but had one heck of a good time anyway but ........tomorrow, it may be the horizontal swing instead of the blues for exercising. lol. too funny.......cardio is good regardless on how its achieved.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Is anal sex safe without a condom? Posted: 10/22/2007 8:42:38 AM
man oh man, just read some of the latest threads on here. I think I jumped in too soon. My answer is still valid for the original question though but excuse me guys/gals, Im jumping right back outta this one.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 98 (view)

Is anal sex safe without a condom? Posted: 10/22/2007 8:38:15 AM
I AM AN AIDS BUDDY. No penatrating sex is safe without a condom. Period. No exceptions. Whenever entry occures tiny abbrasions happens both in the rectum and the vagina leaving openings for entry of the virus or any stds. Come on folks, AIDS hasnt gone away, just not in the news as much. Be carefull folks. If not, well, you have my name on here. Call me. I'll be the one holding your hand during your last hours.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What do you do if your date is sleeping with someone else? Posted: 10/21/2007 4:44:31 AM
Man oh man, this is a tough one. In the 50's, dating without a steady ring was filling up a friday and saturday night. In the 70's, dating wasnt even dating. It was make love not war and that justified much to many especially in the 60's when birth control arrived. Peer presure was so great during this time I actually lied and said I was when I wasnt. yikes. In the 80's, dating was more exclusive once AIDS was on the scene since making love with many became the war to survive at all. Today I look at dating as any business deal. I shop around, try this product and that product, not telling the other products that I've sampled the other since its irrelivant. It is only dating. Intimacy changes the variable a tad whether its with one or more. Yet, without a understanding of what both of the parties want, asking about their whereabouts is also stepping over the line or mentioning you've seen them as well. When I find one I like, I stick with it. Now when I sign a contract or give a verbal one, the bond is sealed and delivered and Im loyal and committed to it. As in any agreement, whether personal or business, the agreement is broken when one or both parties break the deal leaving each to either renegotiate another deal or move on. In your case darlin, the deal hasnt even been set yet. Or discussed for that matter. Take your time, allow the other party to take their time and ease on into the deal with both eyes open. Dating is dating, intimacy is a whole other story.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What to expect Posted: 10/21/2007 4:20:11 AM
My profile says dating but Good Conversation for the heading. Misleading yes, only since mail goes through more with the dating thing. I have met for coffee and dated a few times but....with that said, I've never expected any one encluding myself to take myself or them off this site over a coffee or a dinner. Lately, I've been having lots of coffee with one fella, some dinners, some walks, some drives and a lot more laughing during more and more conversations and liking that time spent which changes the whole game now. He has taken his profile off without asking me to do the same and Im seriously considering changing the dating to emailing. What the heck. It only took all these years to even consider it. When expectations are that high over coffee, be glad you found out sooner than later. Its worth the wait to want to make that decision on your own when both are feeling smitten.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

In looking for a relationship on POF, have you run into this before? Posted: 10/18/2007 3:28:00 AM
Woman are audio creatures while men are visual ones so its not unusual for we females to croon over something well written. With that said, the men are right as well. Write a novel to get our attention but how do they act in person. Are the skills only for pen and paper or can they make us experience them. Funny. The man who has moved me in the five years that I've been on this sight, cant spell, never uses comma's and runs his sentances together yet in person, man oh man, his words, his actions, his attention to detail........couldnt care less what his profile says or doesnt say. The Hello part is over ladies and gentlemen, now get to know them.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

I have only had bad experiences Posted: 10/17/2007 3:01:12 AM
I have been on other sites and the sexy photos of others made an assumption that I too was advertizing for a what ever night. I say, free or not, its the ethics and morals of the site itself that makes it interesting. I myself have not met one person who was disrespectfull to me. Why? I never talk sex, encougage it and change the subject when it comes up. No pun intended there. If they continue, I say thanks very much and move on. I cant imagine the pressure of a first meeting with all the sex talk before hand. Man oh man, the pressure of performance would be overwelming. I also use POF as the medium before even heading to msn so as not to waste my time, money on a phone bill. Good luck in your search for another but remember, no matter where you go either on the internet or around the corner, there are rude people without the courtsey lessons of the past. Best thing to do is to become a better example for others to follow.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

When did you start to hope again? Posted: 10/17/2007 2:39:26 AM
Samhonolulu has a very good point and a whole other perspective but most of all it states facts that cant be changed. Good for you. I liked it. For me, getting out of a relationship whether through a breakup or death, its still a loss and needs a mourning period. Each of us has a time limit when enough is enough for us. Yet, you overthinking things of what went wrong, what you did, what he/she did is irrelivant. Hope begins with knowing what you are worth. It begins when you realize that not everyone is going to like you, beleive in you, trust you etc and thats okay. Its irresponsible to think that everyone will agree or not. I've been single for over ten years, like myself, admire what I've contributed back into society, my community, continue to work on my friendships with courtesy and grace and with each yes to a coffee, my hope is to leave understanding another person, what they are worth and gratefull that the time spent was constructive and a pleasure to be in their presence. If nothing else, a memory is shared and collected. Now, when that coffee turns into another and another, more laughter, tears, empathy, understanding and a pure joy in hearing that next hello, well, thats not hope, that the reality that just saying yes can go further. Im wishing you well in your recovery. Keep smiling. Meeting number 1 or 2 or 3 will define who you become. Good or bad. Just make good choices and for Petes sake, just have fun.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

In looking for a relationship on POF, have you run into this before? Posted: 10/10/2007 2:55:25 AM
No, your not alone in being as you called it "mind boggled". Although I answer all mail with a quick or long hello or a goodbye, reading a profile with the same old thing gets stale. I've read wonderfull profiles with descriptions that place you where they want you to be and wrote to thank them for the great read. If it grabs your interest and or attention, they have done the job and done it well. Im wondering if you responded to him and told him so?

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

where did the social skills go to? Posted: 10/9/2007 6:13:21 AM
For myself, I dont need laws to be lawfull and either internet or passing on the street, manners are manners regardless of the place. So.....thanks for taking interest in my profile yet if you read it, you would also understand why Im blocking you now. But, thanks for calling. Now that took about thirty seconds of my time to write, said my piece and have moved on to someone who doesnt make me feel uncomfortable in this medium, never mind in person. You all have a great day.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Is red hot romance possible after 50? Posted: 10/9/2007 6:03:46 AM
Turned 52 last week, age is just a number. Attitude is a whole other story. What you search for is what you can have. Once you find it, either its there or its not but the choice is yours if you want to settle or not. If your not feeling it by now, move on if you want something more. Its always out there. Im having a great time, meeting lots of people and I'll tell you, if they act old, they are, if they are optimistic, charming, funny and makes me laugh until my sides hurt, well.....whole other story. Enjoy yourselfs regardless. 65 years equals 25,550 days only. Who wants to waste one of those days now. Subtract your age from 65, then multiply by 365, man oh man, with so few left this girl dosent waste any of it. Smile enjoy and keep searching.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 112 (view)

Can we become too spoiled from being single too long? Posted: 9/27/2007 3:48:52 PM
I tend to like my life, with or without anyone in it on a committed relationship. For me, maintaining friendships both male and female needs work on a constant basis so whether Im with a date, a lover, a friend, a buddy, hard work to nourish them is a constant. Therefor, my answer would be that if someone walked into my space, I enjoyed their company even on their bads days, I wouldnt have to think about it. It would happen at a gradual pace, my friends and surrounding people would remain the same with the exception, I would have only a lone lover living in separate or the same dwelling. Hey, you never say never in this life with all its variables. Dogs, pets, kids, jobs, drinks or not, smokes or not, baggage or not, argumentitive or not, whiner or content? Now what the heck can this girl live with? Now that appears to be the question.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

Is It Wrong To Test Someone??? Posted: 9/25/2007 5:51:04 AM
Man oh Man. I was shocked you even wrote a post to admit you did this. The strange part is you beleive your justified in doing so. First, you dont test people you dont care about. What for? Second, you dont test people you do care about. Why would you if you knew them well enough to care for in the first place. Third, when you give a gift, its without any conditions attached such as expecting a gift in return. A thank you is all you should expect. The gift you get is called good manners. If I give you a shirt, I cant tell you to wash it every wednesday. Once given, your part is over. I wont say grow up, I'll give you enough curtesy by believing you didnt know any better. Now you do. Dont do that again. Shame on you.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

empathy:how to express it properly Posted: 9/21/2007 3:44:51 PM
EMPATHY is the understanding of anothers feelings where SYMPATHY is the agreement of anothers feeling. Sometimes a fine line whereas sympathy while appropriate in some situations will make a person stand still in others Empathy on the other hand joins two people in the common goal of exploring what one or another is feeling. Takes a bit of patience, a lot more listening and asking more questions to allow the person to talk his/her own way through it. I disagree that either you have it or not attitude. I personally beleive that all behavior is a learned thing. Bad behavorior can be unlearned, good behavorior can be learned. I hope this helps.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

I had a revelation tonight Posted: 8/24/2007 10:36:12 PM
I was never one for the bar scene so I guess I had the same relevation many many years ago. Hey, once I heard a great song while passing an outdoor cafe and asked this guy sitting alone to dance. We did, I took him back to his seat, kissed his cheek, thanked him for the memory of the dance and left content. Yes Darlin, you can dance anywhere.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Cooking over an open fire Posted: 8/14/2007 10:25:32 PM
Dig a hole, pile lots of wood in it until they are coals. Meanwhile, do some fishing, catch something, degut it. Leave the fish whole Stuff the fish with bull rush roots or rice or veggies, whatever you want. Wrap the fish in tall grass, large leaves, hay, what ever you have handy. place the fish on the coals, cover the hole with the soil you dug out, go about your business of whatever. Find a Sumach tree with the red good smelly flowers on them, boil into a tea while waiting for the fish to cook. When the fish is ready, then dig it up and chow down. You can do this with any meat you catch instead of fish. Meat taking longer, same as an oven. Enjoy.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Funny and embarrassing moments….. Posted: 6/6/2007 9:46:19 PM
I wish I had a same car story instead of the one Im about to share. Picture the 70's, Yonge Street walking beside Rande my brother wearing the highest heals that gave me nose bleeds cause of the thin air, a yellow gause dress, no straps that is absolutely see through, a no strap slip because of the see through dress and under that the french style panties new from the plain bikini ones, red lace since you couldnt see them because of the slip. Now Rande thinks I look fabulous but he's gay and my brother so why do I even care what he thinks. Regardless, we are laughing, walking and enjoying each others company when I feel something. Oh oh, that cant be good. The slip elastic is old and just lets go landing at my ankles, yes still on Yonge street. Nothing I could do but step out of it and keep on walking while Rande walks behind me all the way to Simpson's where I buy another slip since the flaming red french lace cut underwear is apparent to everyone.. Never wore that dress again.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

stuff we have ! Posted: 5/25/2007 10:50:53 PM
The last time my son dropped by I asked him if he wanted to take my grandmothers clock home with him. man oh man, he looked depressed, worried and shocked. Are you alright. Been to the doctors lately, do you have something to tell me, are you alright? Yea. Just dont want to dust the thing anymore. Okay, lets box it up and thanks but you can keep the copper horse. Thats the tackiest thing I've ever seen.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Memories of the Mountain View Hotel in Collingwood Posted: 5/2/2007 5:32:49 AM
I grew up every weekend in Wasaga Beach until we finally moved there. Collingwood has changed so much as every other area around yet its still home to me. Dancing still takes place at the Beach, the Becon is the closest to the mountain then the bars in Wasaga. Good memories there yet when you live there, you never date the tourists. Besides, we drove to Toronto everyday for school since my mothers job was there. Oh well, no time for dating anyway.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Help.. Does no 'sparks' on a first date mean anything? Posted: 4/22/2007 11:10:35 PM
Man oh Man people. What if you were blind? How do the sparks ignite then? No sparks on a first date, well have a second without viewing the eye candy. Charactor, warmth, his reactions to strangers, what does he do when a homeless person walks by, how does he react when your sharing a moving story, does he listen or touch your hand to show that your not alone. What the heck are looks? Something to sag and complain about seven years down the road? Charactor, integrity, morals and ethics, passion for what they do but most important, how does he make you feel? Worthy, apprehensive, sad, fearfull or warm, loved, desired, worthy of your space, not his? These are the questions one should ask. Sparks ? They may spark a flame which roars out of control and winds up ashes that smells like hell and hard to clean up. If you want sparks, then dont delude yourself by putting down long term. Now I'll apologize for the rant. It appears to me now that Im having a bad night.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

At This Moment, How do you Feel about Time? Posted: 4/19/2007 6:49:31 AM
NONE OF US REALLY HAVE TIME. Are you aware that if you live to the age of 65, the number of days those years equals is only 25,550 days. Now how many of those days do you want to waste? And that is only if you dont get hit by a big bus sooner. LOL. Now I want to soak in a tub just because it gives me pleasure.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 364 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 4/19/2007 6:46:30 AM
Oh Oh. Too old for long hair? I'll think about it. What I find even more confusing is why since I got my dog, no one asks to touch my hair anymore. Can I pat the dog? Sure. Then do me. Can I comb the dog? Sure. Then do me. Can I give the dog a treat? Sure. Get her a coffee to go with it. Man oh man, long hair? It appears I have troubles enough without thinking about cutting it.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Long nails.... Posted: 4/19/2007 6:36:12 AM
I've always had long nails. I recall sitting on a chair in Wasaga Beach at the cottage each weekend, watching my mother turn pages of the book she was reading. Long red nails with her laughing. Nice memory so I assume that is what made me start growing mine. Dont know if this is realated to this post or not but not only the nail stuck with that memory. The love of a good book stuck as well. LOL. I have to stop painting the nails red before I read though. LOL. Just kidding. Dont write me about it.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

~The Nicest thing a member of the opposite sex has ever done.~ Posted: 1/19/2007 1:31:07 PM
A frequent customer who came into the store I was looking after for a friend, found out that I was an AIDS Buddy and just had another death. He asked me if I would have a long lunch with him that day. I was done for the day so I agreed. He picked me up then drove me to this wee airport, walked me to a plane then flew me over the fall colours stating, "With the work you do, I thought I'd show you what your spirit looks like from above" It was a stunning afternoon not knowing if it was the ride or the reason that I was presented with that gift.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

America's Funniest Home Videos Posted: 12/31/2006 1:21:44 AM
Hey, I just saw that Leave it to Beaver and the Courtship of Eddies farther is on channel 16, Hamilton cogeco cable. Who knew that I would be passing on that bit of information? I used to watch the friday night horror stuff with my brother. Now a days, its the friday night blue movies which would be horrific to my brother still since he's gay. Who knew that I would be passing on that bit of information? Happy New Year Everyone. That encludes you as well Whobanned.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

What would you most like to do before you die? Posted: 8/18/2006 11:18:24 PM
I've done everything that I have set out to do except the one thing that I truly never thought I would. Ride a yak in Tibet. Why? Because it was a goal I never thought I couldnt reach but would be difficult too while making money, working, being a mom etc. So that is still something I havent done. Maybe next year. If I get a time limit from any doctor, then see ya, nice knowing you and know if I fall off the dam yak, I gave instuctions to leave me there. I'll make sure that I visit Heavenswhisper though. I'll be the one with the funny looking wool flap hat on with the dangles on it. Boo.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

If you could live one day over forever what would it be and why? Posted: 8/18/2006 11:08:29 PM
Good question. I cant imagine living the same day over and over again without wanting to stab myself in the stomach two weeks later so the only day that gives me the opportunity to do or meet someone new in a safe setting with a lot of other great people around is The bon fired that Sir James had that 500 people showed up. That should keep me busy for a few months.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 161 (view)

Big Brother All Stars Posted: 7/20/2006 9:51:35 PM
I still believe that kasers deceision will bite him in the butt. Now with James the HOH, havent a clue to what he's going to do. If he's smart, will and boogie will be up on the block then he should start his gathering witht he others. If he is really smart, he will gather his following with the making of will and boogie the targets a personal favor to all he talks to. Just keep an eye on Danielle. Man this show is addicting.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

duh!!! funny things kids do Posted: 7/20/2006 9:46:51 PM
Son was 12 at the time when I knocked on his door and waited for the "Come in". Instead I heard the scuffle of the mattress slamming back down then the offer to come in was yelled out with a voice that was changing. What are you doing I asked. Nothing. This is the first time you ever lied to me. No I havent. Thats the second time you ever lied to me. At this point his mouth opened then closed before he did it again. Whats under the mattress? Nothing. Again, another lie. Now whats under the mattress? He lifted the mattress out and what I expected was a playboy mag or something similar. Instead he brought out a hard cover book. Whats this? A book. What kind of book? Fiction. Looking at the lable it read, "Tender Rebel" I guess he thought Historical romances was porn.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

duh!!! funny things kids do Posted: 7/19/2006 11:02:25 PM
My son came ranting home from school going on and on about how slow people are, how inconsiderate with lines etc. told him that I had something to do but if he wanted to continue his ranting I would gladly listen to it in the car. We arrived at the busiest post office during the christmas rush to get out while he is still ranting about his day in line. Sooner or later, he stopped realizing that I was talking to some of the folks around me asking what their favorite xmas moments have been over the years, lots of laughter, some tears, and many new aquaintences having a happy holiday in the line to the wicket counter. It took about an hour to reach the window, I asked for one stamp. He whipped his head around and said, "We standed in this line for an hour for one stamp that we could have gone to a convenience store for one?" Yes! "So you let me rant on and on for over the hour knowing that I was impatience today to buy one stamp?" Thats right. "So whats the lesson?" Patience Shawn, patience.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

duh!!! funny things kids do Posted: 7/17/2006 11:04:19 PM
The shoes are funny Kit. My son asked where his winter boots were when he was ten. I told him they are outside in the snow where I threw them when i tripped over them last night. Had to thaw them out before heading for school and explain why he was late. Never did that again. LOLOL. Hey, do you think he may need therapy today? LOLOLO

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 141 (view)

Big Brother All Stars Posted: 7/17/2006 10:55:57 PM
I profile for a living so this show really hones my skillls. Love it, love it, love it. What the heck was Kaser thinking by not putting up will and his side kick? He did say that he wanted to watch the aliasances but still. I think this will nip him in the butt down the road but we shall see. Only people who are not threats is Diane, George and Marcellous. They seem to be behind the box without thinking ahead. George had it too easy the first game. Doesnt have a clue how to play any game as devious as this one. My respect level soared with Kaser with the one line of "No, its your partner who is on the line" Brilliant play, brillant answer without much drama. Just stating a fact. Wow. Then when he let go of the button, well, I needed a bourbon to get over that move. Good thread.

SANDE

Joined: 1/10/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Not wanting to be a Favourite Posted: 7/17/2006 10:41:45 PM
Hey MI Darlin Havent been on these forums for a while and I can say that you use to be on my favorites before I redid my profile. I did take a peek at your number and I see that your deleting as you go along. Man oh Man honey, you'd be in the triple digits or more by now if you didnt. Even though your not on my favorite list, your still one of mine. See......now Im going to add you again. Still love ya.

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