'The one' chat & forums.

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ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 83 (view)

'The one' Posted: 10/13/2009 12:18:28 AM
No, there is no such thing as "the one", thought up by Hollywood for romantic comedy's. There are people that are better suited to us, but "the one" is a new concept. Everyone is looking for perfection that doesn't exist.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 43 (view)

Getting burned out on dating? Posted: 10/13/2009 12:14:50 AM
The issue is one of intent, online dating is one narcissist, married, separated, wanting to get laid dude after another. I have stopped online dating, it's a joke, nobody wants anything real, just B.S. and yes it's boring. One-nighters that you meet in a bar are much more fun, at least you're buzzed, horny and know what the outcome is.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

Getting burned out on dating? Posted: 10/13/2009 12:09:26 AM
The issue is one of intent, online dating is one narcissist, married, separated, wanting to get laid dude after another. I have stopped online dating, it's a joke, nobody wants anything real, just B.S. and yes it's boring. One-nighters that you meet in a bar are much more fun, at least you're buzzed, horny and know what the outcome is.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Fishing for you to call him- looking for honest opinions Posted: 10/12/2009 11:37:39 PM
99.9999% of men use internet dating sites for sex, not relationships, sex. I don't care what site you're on, it's all the same. Men inherently aren't interested in relationships beyond getting off. Doesn't matter if you email for weeks, wear a chastity belt for the first 3 dates or have a nun accompany you for a month. All that matters is the degree and level of effort a man is willing to put out to get it. Many men enjoy the pursuit, even if it takes a few months, it's all about head games. It's up to you about what you want to do.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

should i lie????? Posted: 9/13/2009 12:42:03 AM
Why are you unable to work? Is disability a more appealing choice? Most jobs don't require a strong back, they require a strong mind. I've known more than a few guys who prefer the state check to actual work. Be honest and realistic about who or what you can get.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Do you really read the page before opening an email? Posted: 9/13/2009 12:34:34 AM
Yes. We always read your profile before opening.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

say if i did......this? Posted: 9/13/2009 12:20:59 AM
Grow a sack. If you can't initiate a conversation, you need therapy. Seriously.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Second step in asking her out Posted: 8/21/2009 7:43:38 AM
You can message back and forth forever, step it up and ask her if she wants to talk on the phone. If that goes well, ask her to meet before the conversation ends.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Longterm or dating? Posted: 8/21/2009 7:38:54 AM
It's been my experience that men will put long term, but upon meeting they try to get in your pants in the first 15 minutes! I think guys put this down because they want to seem sincere and think that it will increase their chances of getting laid, which is disappointing because I also list long term. I myself have noticed a decrease in interest after changing my status, unfortunately, I think people may also perceive it as being desperate when really it's an ultimate goal of finding a lasting relationship.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 38 (view)

Don't Put Long Term Posted: 8/19/2009 11:43:06 PM
It seems many people put long term so they can appear genuine and noble to the opposite sex, however, their intentions are anything but. If they put the truth on their profiles they would never get laid. Anything other then long term is all about get laid no matter how it's phrased.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

blowing dates Posted: 8/19/2009 11:03:05 PM
I agree 100%, I think it has more to do with intent then anything else though. I've been on several other sites and it seems that many of the men expressed that they were bored, on the web for sex only and some even admitted to being married. There also seems to be a number of people looking for attention, these people enjoy the initial rush of the first few dates then disappear all while acting like they are so interested. There are also those that play the instant spark and chemistry card, they think dating should be like a Sandra Bullock movie all while putting zero effort into it.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 28 (view)

Is it just me Posted: 8/19/2009 10:39:00 PM
There are a lot of cowards, game players and attention seekers out there. Unfortunately, you don't know what this guy's intent was when he met you, often its as one poster commented about talking to a woman because he was bored. Don't know why anyone would do this, but a lot of men do. Also, most don't want anything beyond a little fun regardless of what they claim, don't take it personal.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 64 (view)

MSN/IM phobia prevalence causing people to go POOF! Posted: 8/19/2009 10:25:31 PM
In the old days way back in the 80s and 90s we used something called a phone, of course back then we actually met people in real life first then we would talk on the phone. It's been my experience that IM turns into sex chat in a hurry, yes you can block them, but why bother. If you are here to meet women face to face, skip the IM and webcam BS. Exchange a few emails, get a number, call, talk and meet.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How can i get my girlfriend who has never had a boyfriend before to open up? Posted: 8/17/2009 10:29:24 PM
Let her warm up to you. In the old days guys did all the calling and there was no text messages because we didn't have cell phones...those were the days. As long as she keeps going out with you and you guys have a good time, it's all good. Give it another few weeks to a month and if she still doesn't initiate, tell her you like her and want to here from her first sometimes because you think she isn't feeling it for you.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Best way to show interest Posted: 8/17/2009 10:12:20 PM
Ask the one you like the most out for a few drinks or dinner after work. Women talk a lot, if you go around asking all of them out you won't get any because they'll think you're a player and won't take you seriously. Also, if you want to date casually and screw be clear about you're intentions. Though this may not be your career, it is still a job that you have to go to everyday - not the internet that allows you to ignore and delete people you don't want to see again. Having had a few relations with guys at work I will tell you that respect goes a long way.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

we're going to fast - end all phrase? Posted: 8/17/2009 10:03:07 PM
How quickly is this stated? It generally means that the guy is trying to get laid really quick or that he is getting to clingy. Ask her exactly what she means, that should take a lot of the mystery away. If she still wants to see you, back off a little and see what happens.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

when you are in a bar or club.....? Posted: 8/14/2009 10:56:09 PM
Talking from much experience: First off, if you meet an f**k a woman you met in a bar, she was most likely drunk and is embarrassed to meet you again. You really should'nt sleep with a woman that fast unless you don't want to see her again. If you like a woman and want to talk to her, do so, stop being scared. The worst thing that will happen is that she say's no thank you. So what, tomorrow is another day.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

rules of dating multiple girls Posted: 8/14/2009 10:33:06 PM
How about honesty from the start. Not every girl who meets you is going to want a relationship with you. Even though she may eventually want a long-term relationship, she may not necessarily feel it for you. Simply state that you are interested in having fun, i.e. FWB or a one night stand and if she is game then it's cool. You don't need to disclose your private conquests. If you absolutely cannot state this because you feel it will hinder your ability to get laid, then just act natural, show no real interest in her and try to get in her pants ASAP and it will be obvious to anyone over the age of 21 or who has an I.Q. over 85. But to get lucky make sure she is liquored up between the point of buzzed and vomit, anything past that becomes serious legal issues for you.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Been on 3 dates with a great girl and wanna take things further Posted: 8/14/2009 10:17:59 PM
You need to at least kiss her on the lips and get to second base...lol! How do you know she doesn't have much experience dating? Women always play a little shy and reserved, especially at your age and if they like a guy. After all it's what you expect. Seriously, grow a sac, kiss her at the very least, otherwise she will think you don't really like her.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Ladies, a little help please.... Posted: 8/14/2009 10:04:48 PM
From OP profile: "I don't look my age, I usually get 8 to 10 yrs younger ..." Either remove this statement or end it with an LOL. Age is a VERY subjective thing and you have posted several pictures, enough that the viewer can discern how old they think you look. As far as you being a Christian and having three kids as being a dating deterrent... it may not be that much of an issue to a woman who is approximately your age, i.e. 40 plus. If you are trying for the 24 year old (as you have posted in your age range preferences) it is a huge road block, unless of course she already has three kids and then it should be just fine.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Need Urgent Answer...Have I Ruined It With Her Posted: 8/14/2009 9:45:57 PM
It sounds to me like she was either lying about her attraction to you and using that as an excuse to justify the friends situation or your online conversation turned sexual and she wants to see if you will stick around and show her you want more than that.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

did I over react? Posted: 8/11/2009 7:52:48 PM
She is either too scared to meet for some reason or enjoys this game, either way 3rd time is a charm. Forget it. Men do this all the time as well I think it's an ego boost for introverts.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Would you go out with a guy just to do something new? Posted: 8/11/2009 7:45:38 PM
Just say I'm moving and want as many nostalgic New Jersey fcks as I can get before I move to Boston. Oh wait, you just did. From profile: "Oh, BTW, I am moving to Boston at the end of August. So Really what I am looking for is just a few fun dates... and if they're really* fun extended contact."

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Next Move? Posted: 8/11/2009 7:03:26 PM
You are 40 years old calling this person a girl, are we to assume she is very young? At any rate you should've got to her before she came to this country. She doesn't need a man to take of her now, she's already here.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Easy women..why me? Posted: 8/11/2009 6:44:56 PM
You are completely full of sh*t. I can't believe nobody else called you on this.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Difference between boyfriend and husband material? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:27:01 PM
To me this sounds like the "I need my space", "It's not you it's me", "not looking for anything serious". Which all translates to I'm not interested in you, it's slightly different way of saying "you're a real good guy and I know you'll find the right girl someday". If you've been a boyfriend for any length of time, you are husband material.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

For A Girl Posted: 8/10/2009 5:09:03 PM
[1) do you consider a guy that doesn't like going down on you a deal breaker?] No. Most aren't any good at it anyway. [2) HOw much dose sex mean to you in a relationship? like if it sucks the relationship sucks...] Sex is vital, if sex sucks so does the relationship, unless he's rich. [3) What is the one thing you wish every guy had ?] A huge c**k [4) and lastly if a girl puts out the first date is all she looking for is sex and has no real interest in a relationship? Or is it that she just really likes you?] If means she thinks you're cute and wants to have sex, it could also mean that you're cute, but not relationship material and she it horny and will therefore sleep with you. Women are always looking for a relationship.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Why is it? Women write endlessly but never want to meet? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:02:19 PM
I've done a ton of face-to-face meetings usually rather quickly. A few emails, my number and meet up within a few days or even the same day because I think emails and IMs are a waste of time. Having said that, it gets tiring to go out that much, especially since most of these meetings don't turn into another date which become very discouraging. Maybe these women have gone through the same thing, and now they want to email for awhile first. I've done both approaches with the exact same results.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

Why would someone email me, get my reply, then disappear? Posted: 8/10/2009 4:27:12 PM
You are hot as hell, maybe too much so! Seriously, you have nice pics and a good profile, some women might be afraid that you won't like them upon meeting, once they reviewed your profile a second time.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

Would you tell your date about guy problems? Posted: 8/10/2009 4:16:49 PM
She is treating you as a therapist without the $100 an hour session! I've had this happen with guys as well, the dreaded ex psycho babble. Basically these people just want to vent, they don't give a damn if you say a word. Once I just grunted through the conversation gazing all around the room to see if he noticed. Nope.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 18 (view)

am i missing something here Posted: 8/10/2009 4:00:58 PM
I like how you're partying with friends in a bar, but you won't date a woman you met in a bar, you just want them to be bowled over with your wit and charm. These bar women must be dirty sluts, but I'm glad you're still good enough to date though. Are you one those guys that doesn't seriously date women online either? I think you a case of the good enough to f**k but not good enough for you syndrome. They make pills for that now.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

real world dating works for me.. Posted: 8/10/2009 3:22:35 PM
If she had a profile up, would you have messaged her? Online dating is all about intent, and unfortunately too many people use it for sex only. I used to meet and talk to just about everyone at first, but realized pretty quickly that many of the men only want FWB or one nighters, in addition some were married and freely admitted it. I was also suprised by the enormous amount of negative attitudes toward online dating. Many of the men I spoke to said they would never seriously date a women online, it's just something to do for sex and to relieve Boredom. As a result, I no longer think the internet is place for anything more and I think it's that attitude that creates the online atmosphere.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

Why do so many women use the word Douchebag in their profile? Posted: 8/10/2009 2:59:08 PM
Have you tried reading any of the guys profiles? There are quite a few that are offensive though they usually relate to a woman's weight. The most popular phrases I see are: No Fatties and No Gold diggers. These statements are especially funny when the "no fatties" is on a profile of fat guy and the "no gold diggers" are on profiles of guys that are unemployed. At least these people know they don't want anyone like themselves. lol.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

What does it mean when a girl gives you her # and you talk once but after that, she dissapears? Posted: 8/10/2009 2:46:39 PM
It means something you said bothered her enough not to want to talk to you again. She probably does have other guys as well. I've done the same thing.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

You get her # thru POF email,when do you call? Posted: 8/9/2009 7:40:12 PM
JMO...but I don't like IM. If you want to get to know someone, talk to them the old-fashioned way. In general, guys that give out their personal IM turn the conversation to web cam and sex chat quickly. Call her right away, she wouldn't given you the number otherwise.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

A Walk in the Park Posted: 8/9/2009 7:34:14 PM
I would guess almost never. Is this more of a financial issue for you? You can't really talk and look at how someone carries themseleves if you're riding a bike. Personally, the walking in the park thing (as a sole activity) is too weird on the first few dates, besides, he might me a serial killer looking to get you in a secluded area...lol.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

add to favorites.... Posted: 8/9/2009 7:11:36 PM
Favorites is just a waiting list and should be a private feature. All it really says is that a person has been added to the potential waiting list of candidates while that person is contacting the hotties to see if they'll bite first. They may eventually contact if you they can't get or have burned through the ones they really want.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 29 (view)

First Date Posted: 8/7/2009 11:26:05 PM
How is that she suddenly felt uncomfortable? This sounds like BS to me. You shouldn't have shelled out $300 to a concert on a woman you never never met. She is full of Sh*t and you were stupid. BTW the "gee I'm scared and don't know where I am" crap is BS...equate that to the man's version of "you are really beautiful, why don't you have a boyfriend...insert name here"?

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 26 (view)

Crossdresser Posted: 8/7/2009 11:13:06 PM
Sounds like my ex husband. HA HA. Not, why would you date a cross dresser? They have MANY identity issues regardless of what they may tell you. He had kids and is using you for a surrogate mom? Is he also the same size as you, using you for clothes and makeup?

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

Follow Through Posted: 8/7/2009 10:52:21 PM
I hear you. Nobody wants to take time to get to know anyone. I think it's a matter of intentions. I get a lot of first dates in which the guys are so interested, lasts hours, sex of course (their suggestion) however, they will never see you again either way. It seems internet dating is all about getting laid. The chemistry excuse it BS as well, because there's enough chemistry for you to spread eagle, but not enough for a relationship. Unfortunately, these guys need to visit a prostitute (undisclosed amount??) or adult website (but wait that costs $20 a month...oh no) instead of pretending to want a relationship.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 51 (view)

The no-chemistry conversation Posted: 8/7/2009 10:32:43 PM
Tell him to go to therapy.com or you could've charged him $100 per hour for the session. I don't know why so many men want to contact women online and talk about their ex. It's always the same story, he gave her everything and she was a cheating whore with 11+ looks...please. Why is it that these guys are at best of average looks professing that they landed the hottie. Where you able to get a whole sentence in or did he cut you off after three words because he was too busy dominating the conversation? I think it's total BS, these guys are nothing but narcissists looking for attention.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Question for girls. virgin in mid 20s Posted: 8/6/2009 8:31:01 PM
It is very strange that a 27 year old man hasn't had sex or a committed relationship yet. Honestly, I would be suspect that you are lying about it to get sympathy and ironically, to get laid or that you are secretly gay. If you truly are a virgin, the older you get the harder it is for a woman to understand your situation unless she is a fellow virgin or someone who is involved in the church. Also, to the all the guys that love virgins, notice that they are still on here and I bet those sweet virginal girls aren't virgins anymore!

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

question for yall Posted: 8/6/2009 8:20:25 PM
It means do what you say and say what you mean: Don't BS us, string us along and tell us you want to meet then blow us off or disappear. Don't BS us on a date and tell us how you want to us again and blow us off or disappear. Don't tell us you want a relationship or friendship, then try to get in our pants within the 15 minutes, then blow us off or disappear whether you get lucky or not. Don't treat us like we're your therapist, tell us how great your ex is who you're still kind of, sort of seeing, or whatever drama you may have while on a date with us. There are many more, but of course these are just the few stand outs.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 16 (view)

Do women want a second email? Posted: 8/6/2009 7:24:29 PM
No. If she didn't respond the first time, she's not interested. No response is the same as read/deleted or unread/deleted.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Confusion Posted: 8/6/2009 7:21:30 PM
Ask her straight out. Tell her you really like her and want to date her, but if she isn't interested in that then you will remain friends with her. She might be scared to tell you how she feels because she doesn't think you like her or she may not like you that much. Don't know until you ask.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it the right website ? Posted: 8/5/2009 7:42:19 PM
Been on the paid sites including eharmony and it sucks. The eharmony gentlemen aren't interested in anything more then the ones on here, don't buy the marketing campaign. If you notice it's the same six people professing undying love for one another for the past 6 years. As to the question of ladies wanting an intimate encounter... the difference between men and women is that women want to be in a committed relationship, men want sex. "A man wants everyone woman to satisfy his one need and a woman wants one man to satisfy her every need". It's how we're made. If you want sex only, go to a prostitute and/or go on adult sex sites. Man up and pay for it, that's the only way you will ever truly have no strings attached.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Online Dating = Friends with Benefits ?? Posted: 8/5/2009 7:22:49 PM
The problem is that you and many other men separate online and real life dating as if the women you meet online aren't real and therefore aren't worth anything more than a lay. I've heard this from numerous men online both in the forums and by meeting them. If you want a relationship, solicit women that you are attracted to, not just anyone within arms reach who responds to you. Get over the good enough to f**k but not to date mentality and give someone a chance. Unless the woman is crazy or completely lied about herself, go out on more than one date and get to know someone. I've been married and had a handful of long term relationships and can tell you, that it took a few months of dating before I got to know them, it's not about an instantaneous spark. A person who wants a relationship isn't going to get hot and heavy right away and will make an effort to get to know the other person. The spark that everyone talks about is purely physical and without anything else fizzles out fast.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 20 (view)

He didn't even say goodbye... Posted: 8/5/2009 1:12:14 PM
I knew someone just like this, only much worse. I say hunt him down and demand your money back, contact everyone he knows including his mommie and daddie. You can't change the fact that you were used and you probably won't get your money back, but you can make his life miserable...and that really is what people like this need. They all to often get away with screwing people and most people just walk away. Sometimes Karma needs a nudge, and you will feel better because you stood up to him.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 21 (view)

Booty Calls, When should you put an end? Posted: 8/2/2009 11:16:50 PM
If you choose to be a booty call understand that to a man that is all you will ever be, he does not respect you and in most cases doesn't even like you unless he's about a minute away from busting a nut. If you want only sex have one night stands, ongoing sex only encounters usually result in the woman feeling used, due to increasing disrespectful/selfish actions such as in the case (he only wants a blow job). Tell him if he wants to continue the boot call, you accept cash, money orders and cashiers checks.

ruffian2

Joined: 3/14/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Help with first contact message Posted: 8/1/2009 11:00:32 PM
Your age preference says 18 to 35, you are 36 and unwilling to date anyone even a few years older then you. If I have to guess I would say that probably means you are messaging women 10 years younger then you. People between the age of 18 and 35 are the most sought-after dating demographic, they can have anyone. If this is what you are doing, good luck, because women don't usually date men much older men unless they are rich, especially attractive women in their teens and 20's. When I was a young chick, I used to hate it when considerably older guys hit on me.

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