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sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

What is Attractive? Posted: 9/4/2009 8:00:56 PM
OP, I look at what's written in the profile and I look at the photos. If I'm not attracted to the guy AT ALL, then I will pass...but it's the same situation if I see a guy's photo who I find physically attractive, yet our interests/goals/type of relationship desired is opposite. TRUST ME...I've seen some REALLY great looking guys here, but when I read their profile, I can totally tell we're not compatible... Come on, do you contact women who you do not find attractive at all? We all know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So to me, there kind of isn't a point in asking the general public if people find them attractive...depending who replies, you will get a variety of answers. Yes, we are all shallow to some degree. I'm not afraid to say it's important for me to find my SO attractive (if I didn't, I would never enjoy physical contact with that person)! But he also has to have certain qualities too...and no I'm not looking for "perfection," as I feel it's impossible to find, considering there's no such thing as a perfect person...so I never quite understood why some people accuse someone of looking for perfection just because they are not interested in them. What I think is great, someone else might not...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

If You Find A Good Man Will You Keep Him? Posted: 9/3/2009 2:18:41 PM
If I encountered a good man who had similar interests, beliefs and if there was mutual attraction...yes, I would want to be with him...I'm sure men feel the same way about a good woman! But here's the issue...just because someone is a good man or good woman, it doesn't mean they will automatically be a good fit to EVERY person. And if someone happens to pass on the idea of exploring a romantic relationship with someone, it doesn't mean she's looking for perfection, nor does it mean they are not looking for a good person...they are simply looking for what's a good fit for them.

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

dating someone who is still looking and you don't feel the need to Posted: 9/3/2009 2:05:42 PM
OP, while it's nice that you have met a nice potential SO, I think it's way too soon to expect someone to become exclusive with you. I would keep doing what you are doing...let her know you are interested in her and you enjoy spending time with her. If things do not diminish within the next month or two, then perhaps you can initiate a conversation about how you BOTH feel about each other...maybe she really likes you, but doesn't want to jump into anything long-term/exclusive in a matter of knowing someone for a few weeks...everyone has different thoughts on this. You haven't even known her for 30 days! Give it time...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

What would make you go WOW on a first date ? Posted: 9/3/2009 11:55:34 AM
I would say WOW if: -His photos/physical description were accurate. -You realize you have even more things in common...and his interests that are unfamiliar, you are interested in learning more about them. -If the conversation flowed throughout the date...yet there were a couple of "mutual pauses/smiles/looking into each other's eyes"...you know, the type where the BOTH of you can tell the other person is glad to be there!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 12 (view)

oldest and youngest Posted: 9/3/2009 11:33:47 AM
I'm currently 35 y/o. I normally end up dating men who are between 5-15 years older. But if I met someone who was a few years younger and we had chemistry/common interests, I would definitely give it a chance...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Attractive Posted: 8/27/2009 1:46:08 PM
I could NOT imagine being in a romantic relationship with a man that I did not find physically attractive AT ALL...I would never enjoy the sex! It's also very "one-sided." How many people do you know will see someone who they don't find attractive at all, yet they're enthusiastic about the possibility of a romantic relationship with them? I've never seen it happen. It just doesn't make sense! I need to have common interests AND physical attraction. I find the people who often (not always) stress physical attraction as not needing to be one of the key components are often the ones who are not getting responses and/or are often not found attractive... There's also so many reasons why people look at other's profiles...sometimes I will look at a man or women's profile if I liked what they said in a thread...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

When you think of someone who says they do drugs... Posted: 8/27/2009 4:54:40 AM
Using drugs, whether frequently or not is a MAJOR deal breaker for many people. You need to be upfront with the women you are meeting. If she doesn't want to be with you because of it, it's her choice, but give her that choice!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

How do I read and remember you girls now? Posted: 8/27/2009 4:25:39 AM
OP...you can't be serious, right!?! The the # of favorites someone may have = the # of people they're stringing along!?! Does this apply to men too? Despite what many people may think, different people used the favorites list in different ways. Some of my favorites were men and women who I became friendly with and they live in different parts of the world, so by putting each other on the list, we could see when the person was on and give them a shout...(I'm not into the MySpace, Twitter,Facebook type of things). Your statement is kind of like assuming if a man or woman is considered really attractive, then they MUST be sleeping with multiple people at once!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Is it decieving to upload a picture without glasses Posted: 8/25/2009 8:31:57 PM
But it IS who you are! Besides, when she sees your main pic, she's goin to click on your profile and see the other photos...it's not "false advertising" at all, trust me!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Is it decieving to upload a picture without glasses Posted: 8/25/2009 8:09:17 PM
Perhaps you could make your main profile pic w/o glasses and include one pic with glasses...while you don't look bad with glasses, you are more photogenic w/o them. I don't think it's a big deal either way. Besides, many women like guys with glasses... And if you're NOT blind w/o them, I bet your future SO can think of another scenario where you won't be wearing them!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Overlooked because of my size Posted: 8/24/2009 1:42:51 PM
I think it's safe to say the MAJORITY of people out there have to find a potential partner at least somewhat attractive in addition to having common interests and wanting the same type of relationship. Not wanting to date someone who is overweight can be a vanity issue AND a health issue. For many, someone who is overweight or obese is a dealbreaker...just like many other things. I was having a conversation with a friend recently about this very issue. We both agreed if someone is into being physically fit and having healthy eating standards, there's a very small percentage of people who would be willing to date someone who is complete opposite. My friend also brought up a good point in relation to long term...eating habits, whether we want to admit it or not, is often learned from your parents. So if you have poor eating habits or if you overeat/constantly eat fattening foods, there's a major chance your children will do the same. Most of the people I know who are overweight and come from overweight families, it's because similar eating patterns have been learned and passed down from generation to generation. OP, if you are happy with your current body, don't change for no one...but please realize there are certain people who wouldn't be happy with it, therefore have no desire to date and/or have kids with someone like that...that's just the way it is, whether people agree or not. While I'm not skinny, fitness and healthy eating is really important to me...it's actually one of the major things I look for in a potential significant other...it's just as important as being goal-oriented, at least in my opinion.

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

Is it because i have 4 kids that i cant get a date Posted: 8/23/2009 8:42:19 PM
OP, not only do you fail to mention you have 4 kids, but your status is intimate encounters...and then you chose "must not be looking to date?" Yet you're complaining/wondering if you can't find a woman to be with you because of the children? So you want this intimate encounter to blossom into a relationship...and then you'll casually mention you have 4 children...sounds like a strategy to me.

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How do you get a guy to look past weight? Posted: 8/23/2009 4:24:44 PM
OP, if a particular man isn't attracted to overweight women (or any other specific feature)and is dead set about it, there's nothing you can do do "change" him...why waste your time!?! There are men out there who like women who are larger...are you thinking about them? Ask yourself THIS question: If there was a guy who was nice, with an overall good personality, yet you didn't find him attractive at all...would you try to "make yourself' become attractive to him!?! I will speak for myself. I'm not attracted to really skinny guys, nor am I attracted to stocky/portly, or fat guys...so far in my dating life, I have yet to become attracted to one...even if I encounter one who is funny, respectful, etc. Just like if I find a guy pleasing to the eye, yet he is known to treat others poorly and isn't goal-oriented, I'm not going to be able to get past that and want to be with him. There are certain things that I find many people have difficulty overlooking or should I say "being flexible."...weight is one of them. For some, being of healthy weight (as in not overweight) is important strictly for vanity purposes...but for some it's a health/lifestyle issue. Ethnic background is another...there are some men that are dead set against dating black women...do you think I should waste my time trying to convince that type of man to date me!?! Of course not...life's too short. Focus on finding a man who will like you as you are/without changing! Isn't that what you deserve!?!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 5 (view)

A question about style of dress.... Posted: 8/22/2009 4:14:13 PM
It depends on the type of personality of the woman...everyone has different taste levels/likes. Personally, it's always been a turnoff if a man wears urban/hiphop, grungelike, rocker looks, or extremely baggy clothing...but I'm more conservative and tend to wear tailored clothing and updated classics. The men I date tend to wear polo shirts with jeans or khakis to classic all-American looks to European designers... I don't feel anyone should change for anyone...if that's what you're comfortable wearing, so be it...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Length of time in responding to messages... Posted: 8/22/2009 4:02:46 PM
I read the message right away and respond. If I'm tired or if I'm about to log off, I will wait until I log on again to read it. I prefer to reply relatively soon after I read the message and view the profile/photos. If I have to really think about whether I want to go further, that normally means he not for me, or I really don't find him attractive. When I send a guy a message, I try to put it out of my head...I get the feeling most men do not go through a "let me think a bit about this" when they receive a message. If they're attracted and/or liked the profile, they tend to answer fast, and if they're not attracted as well...so far on POF, I have yet to wait more than 15 or 20 minutes before receiving a reply, whether it's yes or no....

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

Define AVERAGE body type Posted: 8/21/2009 8:47:37 PM
I agree with TXCurlyGirl...a size 8 is not skinny...the only way I would feel a size 8 is skinny is if the woman was very tall...perhaps around 5'11" or more. I'm 5'8" and wear between a 6-8...I am NOT skinny...I have a medium busty hourglass figure...I don't have a double chin, stomach or back fat...but if you met me, you would NEVER say "that woman needs to eat!" The average American woman IS overweight to obese...we are one of the heaviest nations...no, it's not bashing, it is what it is. As far as the term "average", there are two angles...some women who have the average build of American women will claim this terminology...and some women who have my build will also claim it too. Years ago, I used a dating service before it had a website. I described my body as "curvy." Every guy I met told me stop using that term, because even though they saw why I used the term, since many American women who were more along the lines of overweight with a stomach and excess weight in some places to BBW tend to use the term, the guys thought people would assume I was a BBW. Actually, one guy who I ended up dating for over a year tended to be attracted to medium to large women...he said he was pleasantly surprised, but because of what he was used to encountering when a woman said she was curvy, he was expecting a woman well over 200 lbs...actually, a lot of women I know here in the NY area who easily weigh 200 lbs or more often refer to themselves as curvy...and these women aren't even as tall as me... So in the end, only chose women who have clear face and full body photos...and don't be afraid to ask when did they take the photos. We're all adults here and KNOW there are some of us who don't tell the truth...so if a anyone gets offended if you ask for a full body photo, that's a red flag somethings wrong...especially if they have several photos posted from the neck up or if they post the boob photos to trump a not so in shape body...but refuse to pose a full body! And guys have their tricks too! From that point on, I also started mentioning my height, clothing sizes and sometimes even measurements so a man can get a better idea. I know some women might think it's stupid, but so far, I've yet to meet a man who felt I misrepresented myself as far as body when I give this info. Most men, even if they are not sure, have a female friend or know a guy who does have an idea of what this info means. Hey, if women can post pics of boob shots yet fail to post clear full body shots, then I can be honest and post a full body shot and provide my stats, right!?!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 23 (view)

i think i'm done. should i stay? Posted: 8/21/2009 3:26:31 PM
OP, only you can truly answer that! I think many people figure because this site has so many members, then it means they will find their next significant other...not necessarily the case. Perhaps it increases your probability of interacting with people you might never cross paths with, but again there's no guarantee...as with anything in life! Many people say "this site doesn't work.". In all due fairness this site strictly serves as a channel of distribution for someone to meet people...it does not nor should it be liable for you to meet someone...it has to be mutual between the two parties. I've had friends who dated strictly off-site, only to try online dating and meet their spouse! One of my former co-workers just got married this year. Most of her relationships were long-term and after not being in a relationship for about a year, she decided to give online dating a try. Of course she's experienced what many of us had...no responses, responses from guys who clearly weren't her type, guys who lied, etc. She didn't give up...in several months, she finally met someone she clicked with...they were in a relationship for 2 1/2 years when he proposed... One of my friend's siblings found their spouse from a dating site too...they've been married for about 10 years now... The other day, I read some of the threads on the issue of online dating...does it work...unfortunately, there are some jaded people on here who appear to enjoy clustering assumptions of the opposite sex...who clearly was depending on this sole website to help them find someone...there's also a lot of people on here who automatically assume if they are interested in you, then you are obligated to give them a chance...but let's get real, life doesn't work that way! OP, you can either leave POF...or you can perhaps stay but increase your other options for meeting people...that way you'll increase your chance of having a lot going on... Good luck!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Am I becoming a sugar daddy without knowing it? Posted: 8/20/2009 10:02:26 PM
OP...I find it a little odd that this woman isn't willing to email or phone you. I don't care if she doesn't like speaking on the phone...a relationship needs communication. The two of you are in the process of getting to know each other to determine if you should become exclusive. So, if you do reach that stage, is she suddenly going to like speaking on the phone!? It just sounds bazaar! Even if she spoke with you via telephone for 15 minutes a few times a week...it shouldn't be an issue for her. Here's what you do...give her a call and mention a great restaurant you want to try and ask her if she wants to go...dutch! If she conveniently doesn't want to go, then maybe try one more time and say the same thing. Maybe even say, well since you wanted to go too, let me know a day that works for you...be pleasant about it. If she never accepts the dutch invitation, then you're not a sugar daddy...but you could possibly have a dinner wh*re on your hands! She's a grown woman...so because she isn't willing to chat on the phone for a short period of time, you're supposed to keep shelling out $$ for dinners and drinks!?! As hard as it is to find a potential significant other where there's mutual attraction, interests and common ground as far as the type of relationship one is seeking...I just find it hard to believe her thoughts/voice conveniently refuses to work via telephone...yet it does if you're treating her for a meal... OP, perhaps your money should cease having the ability to leave your wallet when it comes to her!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

POF really does work. Posted: 8/20/2009 7:51:04 AM
While I hope things work out...one week for an adult relationship is really too soon to even consider someone "a keeper". It will take several months for the two of you to further get to know each other and know how someone is when they are in a particular situation. For example, if the two of you are in an argument, how does he respond...to what degree does he or you get angry?! Neither of you will know things like that until you are in an exclusive/solid relationship and have had the chance to experience different situations. By no means am I bursting your bubble, but I think right now you possibly are on cloud 9 that you joined a free site that you were skeptical about and within hours or a couple of days, you've encountered a man who are attracted to and enjoy spending time with...there's nothing wrong with being optimistic...just be realistic that it will take some time to know him... I have met several couples (long-term and some married) who met online...so I don't think it's impossible. Just take it slow...show your true self and hopefully he's doing the same...enjoy it! Now fast forward about 9 months from now...if you post a thread saying you're so happy and in an exclusive relationship with this same guy...that's a true testimony!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 19 (view)

what do you miss? Posted: 8/20/2009 7:01:26 AM
I miss: -Answering the phone and hearing the voice of a man (besides my Dad!)who loves and cares about me unconditionally. -A man placing his hands on both my cheeks and passionately kissing me...can be my face OR *ss cheeks! -"Secret code/signals" that only the two of us know...to be used when in public...meanings can be sexy or funny... -Being there for a guy...providing encouragement/praise...making a man who I care for feel special & wanted. -Waking up with a man next to me...spooning....and of course sex!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

What are the 10 top things that attract you to a guy? Posted: 8/20/2009 2:31:17 AM
In no particular order: -Educated and articulate -Goal-oriented, driven even in difficult/challenging situations -Fitness is apart of his life...and his body reflects it...not husky/chunky/stocky...but not skinny either...muscular, but not the bodybuilding type -Love a man with chiseled facial features! -Sense of humor...conservative, yet down to earth with a wild streak are my favorite men! -Great conversation, from music to sports to politics -Non smoker, no drugs -No kids if he's never been married -Has the ability to be romantic, very sensual -Kind, honest, respectful

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 6 (view)

When to ask her to meet up. Posted: 8/18/2009 2:49:44 PM
I normally exchange 2 or 3 POF emails before deciding to provide my off-site email and tel#. If a man won't provide his tel #, I won't go forward. I like to have 2-3 conversations with the guy...to find out what he's really looking for, his interests, and what he looks for in a woman. If I feel he's genuine and if it's similar to what I'm looking for, I like to meet within 1-2 weeks. I'm not into speaking with someone for a month before meeting. Of course within 1-2 weeks you still do not fully know someone of course, but at the same time, I've been able to make a decision to not go further based upon the questions I ask and his provided answers. I'm not hiding from meeting anyone, yet I don't want to meet a ton of guys and realize we're not compatible when I could have asked a simple question on the phone.

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Worst thing you can say after or during sex Posted: 8/18/2009 11:02:49 AM
-And your name again is?! -Wow...is it just me, or do you hear echos?! -Something's fishy goin'on! -Wait a minute....the condom was just on a few seconds ago!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

my aim is to loose 5 stone in 12 months Posted: 8/17/2009 4:09:12 PM
Google "weighted vests"...many firefighters, police officers, and military guys wear these while training. Most are machine washable (remove the weights before washing)! You can wear it while going for walks, or while you're on the treadmill or elliptical. They come in different weights ...I think up to 100 lbs! For you, I would purchase a 50 lb vest, but remove 30 lbs of weights. Every 3-4 weeks, add 6 lbs to steadily increase resistence. You will steadily condition yor core muscle group, strengthen your back and burn fat to help you lose the unwanted pounds. Also, to keep from reaching a plateau, change something about your workout regime every 3-4 weeks...maybe increase the resistance level on the cardio machines or even switch programs on these machines. I tend to stick with the fat burn, weight loss interval, and cross country programs on the stationary bikes, elliptical and treadmills at the gym. Find healthier versions of your favorite foods. Season your food! Allow yourself 3 "cheat meals" per month (but don't go overboard) so you're not depriving yourself. And when you know your going to hit the bar/pub, kick your workout up a knotch the day before and after! Good luck!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Don't love your food... Don't dream about double fudge ice cream... Posted: 8/17/2009 3:27:20 PM
I think many people in America look at eating healthy "a chore." When I first made my lifestyle change, I made a list of every fruit, vegetable, healthy version of meat, and grains. When I do my weekly grocery shopping, I buy whatever is on sale that's on the list...and as I've tried things, the list has become longer. It was crazy that I like fruits and vegetables, yet previously I wasn't eating the proper daily amount. I have a MAJOR sweet tooth, it's amazing how certain fruits totally curb that craving. I now EASILY eat between 4-6 servings of fruit and 2-3 servings of vegetables a day. And I've decreased the amount of meat in my daily intake also (I ate too much/large servings every day). A few things that I eat which are very inexpensive, yet tasty/low calorie: Warmed Greek bread (the kind used for gyros), with garlic hummus, sliced cucumbers and sliced tomatoes...it's a tasty and filling sandwich... I buy the Morning Star Veggie Patties: (I like garden burger or tomato basil), I eat eggs and wheat or rye toast with this for breakfast... To kick my ice cream craving, I will take sugar-free/fat-free yogurt and place them in the freezer for a couple of hours until it gets the frozen soft-serve consistency (The brand I like is only 80 calories per serving and comes in a TON of flavors...like white chocolate raspberry). Sometimes I scoop it in a bowl, top with berries or peaches and sugar-free or low calorie cool whip...very refreshing. Since I don't eat fast food the way I used to, I'm actually saving $$. I even "policed" myself. For several months I kept a jar in my kitchen. Every time I felt tempted to order fast food takeout or run to Mc Donald's, I would place the amount of $$ that I would have spent in this jar. I can't remember how much I saved...but it was enough to buy a few pieces of clothing at my favorite off-price stores, which I needed clothes anyway since I lost weight from exercise and eating healthy. I also find since eating healthier, my hair grows faster and my skin looks better...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Don't love your food... Don't dream about double fudge ice cream... Posted: 8/17/2009 9:31:49 AM
Mystie, I agree with your comments. I have traveled to France, England, Asia, Switzerland (the Swiss are some people who can EAT some chocolate and cheese...yet they're so much thinner than most Americans)! I also read something about French women recently. The article said something to the nature of French women eat chocolate on a regular basis...but the difference is they will eat a small serving (probably like the size of 2 maybe 3 hershey's miniatures...and then walk away), just enough to relish the taste...where as the average American person will eat and entire candy bar (whether the "normal size" or even the super size). I enjoy having conversations with non-Americans about food and how they view American's "relationship with food.". Hands down, here are the type of comments I frequently hear: -Americans are fat...they eat for comfort instead of nourishment....it's as if some (not all) Americans use food to fill a void (boredom, depression, stress, lonliness, etc. (I was one of them...key word WAS!) -The servings are way too big in America (When I spent a week in Switzerland, I ate like them...the types of foods and the types of servings...guess what? I was never hungry, and I actually lost 3 lbs that week...without going to the gym at all!) -External beauty comes in ALL shapes and sizes. However in America, because Americans have progressively become overweight, many people are looking away from excess weight from a health standpoint. Diabetes has increased by 50% in the US, and is STRONGLY affecting the black and latin communities the most...and studies have shown it's due to excess weight/lack of mobility. And these two particular groups have large percentages of people who do not see themselves as being at an unhealthy weight...despite having medical issues that are related to having excess weight. I come from a racially mixed family that consists of whites, blacks, latins...I have several women in my family who have unfortunately spent their lives eating high fat/high sodium/high calories/large portions...and they easily weigh over 200 lbs and make comments like "they keep their weight down"...yet they have diabetes and have to take high blood pressure pills...of course, not everyone is meant to be a size 0 or 4...but we as America have to admit, there ARE a lot of Americans who have no clue (or they are at least pretending they don't about what it means to be healthy and at a healthy weight). I've never been heavy, but to be honest, as I've seen certain people's health in my life deteriorate, not because they injured themselves or got into an accident, but because of the LACK of healthy foods they put in their body on a regular basis...let's just say it was a "wakeup call for me.". In my 20s, I was an "on again/off again gym/exercise person...now since my early 30s, I made it a part of my life! The human body is an amazing thing...from a physical standpoint, it can handle a lot more than you think...all you have to do is put in some effort and CHALLENGE your body, but in a healthy way! BTW, at the same time, you are challenging your mind...let's get real. How many people do we ALL know who could stand to lose a few pounds...who mentally defeat themselves before they even try and/or before giving themselves enough time to get used to challenging their bodies!?! Or they use the defense of "bigger is better!". Look at actress/comedienne Mo'Nique...she was VERY heavy...she was the advocate for "bigger is better!". Now, she's lost 40 lbs and has said she wants to lose more so she can "be around to raise her kids and see her grandkids born"...she's also commenting how sex is better and she has so much more energy. The article stated she is currently 225 lbs, which is still overweight, but I'm sure her weight loss has improved her health! I probably spend a couple of hours a week surfing the net on fitness and bodybuilding websites (don't want to be a bodybuilder, but there are TONS of useful tips for decreasing body fat). I've learned to research things and dissect bits of info that works for my fitness goals. I even researched "weighted vests" and how marines/firefighters/police officers train wearing these and how they are beneficial for building bone mass, burning fat, improving posture, strengthening your core,etc. I go for walks/run errands, workout on the elliptical and treadmill wearing it...and have seen awesome results... It's actually time for me to take updated photos because I've loss several inches...and I just took my posted full body shot in June! And I've just bought my 2nd vest that has more weight...on the next challenge! I also think the BIG misconception is if you are eating healthy, you are starving and/or not eating delicious foods...WRONG! Since dropping a couple of clothing sizes, I've adapted a 75/25 rule...75% of the time, I'm eating healthy SEASONED foods...and 25% of the time, I have a cheat meal. Often when it's time for these cheat meals, I'm not even craving fattening foods, so I just eat a healthier version of what I'm craving. For example: switch a burger and french fries for a veggie or turkey burger with sweet potato fries. Actually, I enjoy food a lot more now because I've explored so many healthy options. American children are also becoming more overweight...one of the reasons why I desire a SO who makes fitness a part of their life and maintains an athletic/healthy weight is, whether we realize it or not, children DO learn particular eating habits/active lifestyles from their parents. I will not marry a man who does not believe in healthy eating...I may never be rich, but the one thing I am determined to "pass down" to my potential children is healthy eating/exerise habits...to me, that's PRICELESS!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

Are preferences dealbreakers? Posted: 8/17/2009 6:07:21 AM
I put a lot of thought in writing my profile. I want the reader to not only learn about me/my lifestyle (whether they end up liking me or not!). And I want to give them enough information so hopefully if they are a clear thinker, they can realize if it is worth sending me an email or responding to my initial email. Many people complain they are receiving rejections and/or no responses. While this may not be in ALL the cases, I would be curious to know the percentage of emails sent to people when the sender is obviously not what the receiver is looking for...would be curious to see how it's broken by gender! For example: I'm tall and I clearly state I'm interested in tall men (I even wrote it in all caps to get the reader's attention)...yet a day doesn't go by when I receive emails from guys who are shorter than me! I also state I'm a nonsmoker and am looking for the same, yet smokers STILL message me...and let's not even talk about fitness/body type. I don't care what anyone else says, I feel in a romantic relationship you have to have common interests AND be physically attracted to your SO to some degree. Fitness is a part of my life and I desire a man who feels the same (so I mention it in my profile)...but he doesn't have to have a six-pack, but he can't have a belly or be stocky/portly either...but he has to be within an athletic/in shape build for his height...yet I still get emails from men who are clearly 35 lbs or more overweight, which I'm not attracted to at all...imagine receiving an email from a guy who talks about fitness and how he feels you have a lot in common because you like staying in shape... but when you look at his profile and pics, he's 5'10" and easily over 250 lbs...of fat...this actually happened to me...and he chose "athletic" for his body type...I was loss for words! Being very specific in your profile is not rude, it's not snobby...the person is going to like what they like whether others agree or not. Personally, I wouldn't want to waste my time contacting people if there's something mentioned in their profile that I clearly AM...yet it clearly ISN'T what they desire...makes sense, no!?!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 42 (view)

when are standards too high? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:47:46 PM
Or perhaps this is the REAL question: If someone writes what they are looking for in their profile and you are NOT what they are describing...whose fault or should I say "issue" is it if/when the response is a polite form of no thank you and/or "read(no reply)" or "read/delete!?!" And let's not EVEN touch on how someone should respond since there's a tapestry of threads posted hourly (oops, I mean daily)... I can't be everything to everybody. I've read MANY male profiles and when I realized I wasn't for them according to their comments, I didn't get an attitude, I didn't send them an email with a smart*ss remark (which I've received from guys), I didn't send an email knowing dang well the response would be no (I've actually had guys reply after I send a polite "no thank you email" stating "I knew I wasn't your type"...well if he did, why did he send me an email?

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

What do you gals get up to on a Sunday? Posted: 8/16/2009 5:51:23 PM
For the most part: -Workout for 2 hours -Laundry -Long distance calls to family -Grocery shop -Mani/pedi -Hair salon (Surf the net on my Blackberry while waiting as I'm doing any of the above activities)

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

How do you tell a guy your not interested. Posted: 8/15/2009 8:15:03 PM
If a guy sends a polite email, I will respond politely with a "Thanks for reading my profile, but I don't feel we are compatible." And I wish him the best in what he's looking for. If I get a guy who is arrogant or even if he sent a polite email and after I responded he decides to come back rudely saying like "why, you should want someone like me"...this week, I even had a guy reply with a 2 paragraph email saying I'm making a big mistake and I was stupid! So to guys like that, I roll up my sleeves and I will tell him EVERY reason why I turned him down...after that, I see the guy will do the read/delete function... My mother always said there are certain questions you truly DO NOT want to know the REAL answer! In my opinion, because different people will either want to go further or will turn the potential suitor down, there's no point in knowing the exact details why...the point is the answer is "no thank you." Plus, since it's an initial email, is it really THAT serious?! Now if it's someone that you've actually communicated with via telephone, and physically met and especially if the person told you they enjoyed spending time with you/wants to get together again...but they drop the ball, I could understand wanting to know why. But some people think even at that point the person owes you nothing since you aren't in a relationship...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

What do women really want in a man besides looks ? Posted: 8/15/2009 3:29:55 PM
OP, you might be an honest and sincere man...but does that automatically mean you will have a decent amount of things in common with the woman, nor does it guarantee she will find you attractive to a degree...and come on guys, STOP hating on Bradley...he's attractive, but at the same time, he's not my type! I think the main issue with approaching/contacting people is many have expectations...they expect the person they are showing interest to have mutual feelings...and people get frustrated when they say they've "contacted x-amount of people and barely get any responses.". Guess what? If a man contacts 30 women before me and he hasn't had luck, does that mean I'm obligated to like him/give him a chance because he's tired of being rejected!?! No...one rejection has nothing to do with the other...the same goes for women too. I've actually had a man say "give me a chance, I'm so sick of being single" when I politely replied I didn't feel we would be a good match (there were several things about him AND his profile that I didn't find appealing). And I disagree when people say if you mention wanting honesty/sincerity, you should avoid them...I've known people who were fortunate enough to never really encounter SO who were lacking in that department...so they state this is what they are looking for because they don't want to encounter it...so because I state in my profile I'm attracted to men who are educated and articulate, does that mean I've had past relationships where guys were high school dropouts and weren't well spoken!?!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Women: Your POF e-mail experience? Posted: 8/14/2009 9:35:05 PM
I receive a decent variety of emails: -Nice/polite emails from guys I'm attracted to, but have nothing in common with -Nice/polite emails from guys I have things in common with/but no attraction -Emails TOTALLY written in text speak, or slang/street talk...not my thing -Emails from men who contact me just to insult me because there's something mentioned in my email that verifies they're not my type *-Polite/nice emails from guys who I have common interests/find attractive to some degree...YAY! *To me, if this guy just stops by and says "hello" and let's me know he's actually read my profile...it's enough for me to want to further communicate! When I read a profile, it's nice to get hints that the guy has a sense of humor and is passionate about certain things, from music to fitness to politics/world events...he doesn't have to do anything fancy to get my attention...just be your "true self"...and when we start communicating, I'll do the same...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 3 (view)

Why are girls so fickle on here?! Posted: 8/14/2009 12:11:39 PM
Let her be...you deserve better...if you let her in your life again, there's a chance she will treat you like "good old backup man" again...I hate to say this, but I know certain "women" who have treated good guys like this...but unfortunately the guys like the women so bad, they're weak enough to go back to them...looking at your photo, you look like a man...not a doormat! If you're still in the early "getting to know you stages," there's nothing wrong with going out on dates with more than one guy...where she went wrong was when she made "double plans" as someone would end up being stood up...not cool!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

Why does it matter if a man's kids are by different moms? Posted: 8/14/2009 6:11:49 AM
First of all OP, I think it's great that you have such an active role in your children's lives...I agree with you...there are many men who have "dropped the ball" whether they abandon the kids or worse...even if they are living in the same house! I also think you shouldn't post images of your kids on your profile...but you should of course mention them in your profile and all the great things you said about them...it tells a woman a lot about your personality...save the photos of them for when you meet the woman, especially if she likes kids and/or has kids, it can serve as part of the icebreaker when you two meet! Before I meet someone, I generally speak with them on the phone a few times to give us the opportunity to further see if we are interested in meeting. Of course it's impossible to completely know someone BUT at the same time, I've had conversations with men on this line and realized while they were nice guys, we really weren't compatible or the lifestyle they lead isn't for me, thus saving the BOTH of us time if that's not what I'm looking for. Of course when you chat on the phone with a woman, your kids /or past relationships could come up...I would briefly mention it then...that way you give the woman the right to make a decision if she wants to go forward. Your kids are nothing to be ashamed of, but at the same time, there ARE people out there who absolutely would not be willing to date a man who had never been married, yet had multiple children by different women...I happen to be one of them... I wouldn't look at it as "their loss" but "their choice.". And I would want to focus on women who are open/OK with your situation (so if you tell them before meeting and she's not into it, you save the both of you time from meeting)...if I were in your shoes, even once I met a woman, I wouldn't hide it...no, you don't have to give the woman a play-by-play of your whole life story...just saying you're the proud dad of two children from prior relationships is enough to say... Good luck...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Someone responds then immediately blocks you??? WTF??? Posted: 8/13/2009 2:14:21 PM
Either way OP, there's nothing you can do about it...when someone blocks you, it of course means the person no longer wants contact with you...what are you going to do, find them and ask them why?! Don't waste your precious time wondering "why"...there's always going to be things in life you can't explain. I sometimes block people if they are rude...I have also done it if a guy who I have replied "no thank you" has contacted me multiple times...sometimes I do it if I know in my heart I would never be compatible/attracted to the person...some may disagree with me, but it's my choice. Think of it this way: Because you CAN'T contact them, it's one less answer you have to find out...you already have it! Focus on the people who ARE interested in getting to know you.

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 15 (view)

Is it bad for me to want something I previously had? Posted: 8/13/2009 12:57:10 PM
OP...I'm sorry to hear what happened to you... But, in my opinion, I think if you look back, this guy gave TONS of red flags that he would be interested in a romantic relationship. On average, when someone is interested in someone, they give off hints, even if he was shy about it (the way he would look into your eyes and listen to you intently, how he was always there for you, how he probably often stopped what he was doing to be with you/do something for you...and I hate to say this and of course there can be exceptions to the rules: I've YET to hear of a man who buys flowers for a woman the way he did for you...but oh heck no he had zero romantic feelings for you!) I think because of your unfortunate experiences, you realize this guy would totally be there for you...he would be your rock to help you get through things and would have the ability to care for/love you unconditionally... Again...don't know what you've got until it's gone...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it bad for me to want something I previously had? Posted: 8/13/2009 12:35:06 PM
OP, there's the good old phrase "you don't know what you've got until it's gone"...or was it that Chicago song!? There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting that type of relationship. I think you're still emotionally still hung up on this guy (and kicking yourself in the teeth about it). If it's not possible to resume a relationship with this guy...what WOULD make the situation wrong is for you to dwell on it and not move on...by not having the ability to do so could ruin future potential relationships. And just because a future SO doesn't do things "carbon copy" the way your boyfriend did, doesn't mean you can't have a healthy, enjoyable relationship... Good luck! Edit: Didn't realize this guy was just a friend...I agree with some (not all of the previous comments)...how did you NOT know he was interested in you romantically? Perhaps you were looking at him as "good old reliable?". Hmmm.....

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

When attractive women get compliments from ugly men .... Posted: 8/13/2009 7:02:13 AM
I totally agree with Imahotmess...It doesn't matter if I find a guy who provides a compliment attractive or not...if he's polite, I graciously thank him...but if he's vulgar/disrespectful(I've actually had a man in NYC walk up to me once and say with a wannabe sexy look on his face/voice "I just want to f*ck you!" And what was sad was I actually found him somewhat attractive, and WAS NOT expecting those words to come out of his mouth...and to think he ACTUALLY thought he would get a positive response!?!)

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Left-handers day! Posted: 8/12/2009 8:07:45 PM
I'm a proud lefty...we're creative people, in an analytical sense! I hated when I was a kid when I was given the "special scissors" with the green rubber in grade school...my friends would playfully tease me! Just remember..."Lefties have rights too!!!"

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 14 (view)

do you want to be ignored, or let down hard? Posted: 8/12/2009 12:42:35 PM
Whatever makes the guy feel comfortable...I'm a mature woman...I realize not everyone will find me attractive/compatible...so if I don't receive a response in a decent period of time (normally an hour...come on, I think when most people get a message from someone they are REALLY interested in, it doesn't take rocket science to respond and say you're interested also in one way or another...even if you just reply with a couple of sentences). As we ALL know, POF does not have rules and regulations as to how someone should reply to an email (although I'm starting to think some members wish there WAS)! If I don't get a response, no worries...be mature and move on...no need to get nasty with the person if they politely reply with a "no" (I've experienced this every day for the past 3 days), and there's definitely no need to think negatively about the person who politely passed or didn't reply to your email...I think it's rather childish for someone to have the attitude "it's their loss"...no actually, "it's their CHOICE!"

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 17 (view)

Love and NO Physical Attraction Posted: 8/11/2009 5:48:55 PM
Or perhaps the OP is in a situation where she's in love with a man who really likes her as a person, enjoys her company, respects her...but ISN'T physically attracted to her!?! And maybe she wants a male's point of view to figure out if there's hope!?! As Navigator commented...do share OP!!!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

Love and NO Physical Attraction Posted: 8/11/2009 4:19:45 PM
OP, you can love someone...respect, have things in common, want the best for them, etc..but to me you can't be in love with someone who you have zero attraction for. Sex would be mechanical...I'm not trying to be vulgar, but wouldn't it kind of be like a prostitute having sex with a man...you're just going through the motions with no emotional feelings/connection whatsoever!?! Who would want that? How you possibly enjoy sex with someone day in/day out if you didn't find them attractive at all!?!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 13 (view)

The dreaded, Dating a Co-Worker ,Or trying :D Posted: 8/11/2009 1:49:08 PM
OP, especially in our current economy where companies are trying to "cut the fat" from anywhere they can, I have one thing to say: Don't get laid where you get paid!!!! Especially since you guys work in remote locations...how do you know the higher ups won't think the two of you are meeting for fck fests during office hours since your jobs consist of working out of the office!?! Don't put yourself in that situation... To answer your questions: -Why would she agree to hang out with me so much and let me pay for everything if it wasn't a "date"? Maybe she what we call in NYC a dinner whre!?! Maybe she's playing with your head!? Heck, she already kind of DID when she was grinding up against you for an hour a while back! -Do you think I'm already in the "friend zone" and should move along? Is she just playing hard to get? She did mention how she likes guys to chase after her. I think you're more in the "I have this hot slightly older guy in this new town that I can possibly fck when my good old reliable lawyer ex-boyfriend either acts like an ss or doesn't make himself available to me zone." OP, don't let her age fool you, since she already knows you're interested, 1/2 her battle is already fought. She's playing hot n cold with you...cause she's playing games! -She was hinting that her friend liked me that we don't work with but I'm not really into her. Was she just trying to pass me off to get rid of me? Hmmmm, or was she hinting it to see if you'd be interested in a 3-some!?! DON'T DO IT! If this girl was grinding up on you...and still sleeps with her ex that she is no longer with, she's not little Miss Conservative Small Town Girl that's she's trying to project to you! Dude, there's a sucker born every minute...don't let yourself be one of them!!!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 2 (view)

After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back? Posted: 8/11/2009 9:54:37 AM
OP, I would take his compliments graciously, but keep doing what you're doing...get to know him...and see if his kind words match his actions. I was recently getting to know a guy. He was attractive, and we had many things in common. I was enjoying every minute of us getting to know each other. He gave me several nice compliments and even said "I want to take my time with you, I think you're very sweet/kindhearted and attractive...I don't want to lose you.". I was totally speachless and touched when he said this...but guess what? He did the disappearing act the following week! (No, there was no sex involved) Give it time...enjoy getting to know him and let him get to know you...but if he's really sincere, his actions will match his words... Good luck!

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 25 (view)

How is Having Unprotected Sex NOT Trying to Get Pregnant? Posted: 8/11/2009 9:38:16 AM
In the situation I discussed, I 100% agree with Wolftxus...that woman had NO ONE to blame but herself...the guy had NO clue she stopped taking her birth control. She even told me she brought them along on their 3-day getaway, and get this...she doesn't drink alcohol, so she can't even say she had fuzzy judgement...again she told me she decided not to take them, and had sex with her boyfriend several times each day within the 3 day period...when they returned, she didn't see him for a while because of their schedules. When she found out her due date, it 100% pointed to that particular weekend as to when her twins were conceived! She trapped this guy! Of course not every situation is like this, but let's get real and in defense for some men...it happens a lot more than you think! One of my mother's friends daughter actually did the "poke a hole in the condom trick" because she was so desperate to keep a certain guy in her life...if I was a guy, I would only wear condoms that I physically saw the packaged opened and immediately put on...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 11 (view)

Your personal forum history Posted: 8/11/2009 1:11:52 AM
I don't regret anything I've said in the threads... I've had a couple of guys tell me they've read a few of my comments...I also have received emails from men and women who have complimented me on my frankness and will even ask me for advice that they didn't want to have it posted in the threads...while I totally didn't expect it, it's rather flattering. I've actually learned a thing or two from a few people here... Even if I don't agree with certain people, it's great to hear what people from diverse walks of life are thinking...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 9 (view)

How is Having Unprotected Sex NOT Trying to Get Pregnant? Posted: 8/11/2009 12:55:55 AM
OP, I totally agree with your comments... I know a woman who had been on the pill for a few years while in a relationship. She "decided" to stop taking them and that weekend went away with her boyfriend and they had sex several times a day for 3 days...she got pregnant...with TWINS...and was actually shocked that she got pregnant...and this is suppose to be a college educated woman who was on the brink of starting her career... The guy ended up leaving her because he didn't want kids, which is why she was on the pill and I'm sure he felt deceived since she stopped taking them and didn't tell him...and last I heard, she's on welfare raising 2 kids...alone! Ladies....ladies...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 10 (view)

She asked for a kiss..... Posted: 8/11/2009 12:36:22 AM
I agree with Scorpioguy...OP, for all you know, your date could have enjoyed the time with you, but is rather old fashioned and didn't want more than a kiss on the cheek at the moment...or maybe she felt this way because she's at the very same stage with a couple of other guys, and she doesn't want to get very physical with any of you until she makes a decision. By you listening to her statement, yet choosing to kiss her on the mouth instead kind of told her you have that "I'm going to do what I feel like doing mentality...no matter what you think/request.". You might not have meant any harm...but if I was in that girl's shoes and you did that...it probably would have turned me off, and I would think twice about wanting to see you again. Now, some of you might think it's harmless, but the bottom line is a woman clearly expressed what type of physical interaction felt comfortable at that moment...and a guy chose to do what HE wanted to do...not cool... You can still call her...maybe she will overlook it...maybe she won't... Good luck...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

Winks or messages? Posted: 8/10/2009 5:43:42 PM
^^^I agree with Jacintos's comment...I also hate the "gifts.". For me, they've been a curse so far...every guy that has emailed me a gift has been close to 100% OPPOSITE from the type of men I mention I'm attracted to in my profile, from physical features to interests, etc...

sexykg74

Joined: 3/15/2009

Msg: 8 (view)

What's up with the Taken profiles? Posted: 8/10/2009 2:45:42 PM
There could be many reasons: -They stay on because they like reading/posting in the forums (I probably will be one of those people) -Maybe the "relationship" they are referring to is still "fresh"...even though they are exclusive, they just keep their profile up, yet change the status to taken and will note they are in the relationship, so don't contact them...if someone does this, how are they being crooked!?! -They want their profile pic to show up when they post in the forums...I personally would, it's my choice, right!?! At the end of the day, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to...they could use another website, they could cheat with someone off-line, they could post another profile on this site, but use private pics...

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